7 Weird Behaviors Of Covert Narcissists
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ค. 2023
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Are you living with a covert narcissist? Do you suspect that someone close to you may be a narcissist, but can't figure out why they're acting so strangely? Come and learn about the 7 strange behaviors of covert narcissists that may indicate their presence in your life. In this video, we'll discuss how to identify and how to deal with someone exhibiting these behaviors. Don't miss out on this must-see video!
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🎓Rebecca Zung is an attorney who has been recognized as one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the country having recognized as a Best Lawyer by U.S. News and is AV rated by Martindale Hubbell. She is also the bestselling author of 2 books, Negotiate Like You MATTER (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step by Step Divorce Guide.
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• 7 Weird Behaviors Of C...
• 7 Weird Behaviors Of C... - บันเทิง
Do you want to know more about the strange behaviors of narcissists and what to do? Join me in my free webinar where I offer tips and tricks. Reserve your seat here. icanslay.com
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Question?
I have a new girlfriend and we are about a year & a half into our relationship and I am just wondering if she is one?
She has several signs, but my main question is….it seems like EVERYTHING I say she insists on disagreeing with me or she will insist that I am wrong. All the way down to paper towels!!
For the most part I’m very easy going and I don’t care if she does or doesn’t agree. I usually just say okay, you’re right.
There’s been a few occasions when I had to get really firm with her because I knew I was correct! So my question really is…do they do that?
She’s been in a very strange relationship with a man. She loves him, he has told her he doesn’t love her that way! But he’s also taken 50k yes 50 thousand dollars from her! She does everything for him! He has a girlfriend now but they still talk and he’s still taking money from her.
I am beginning to feel like she really only wants me around to be there morning noon and night but only to listen & agree with her sick obsession with this man. I am not really allowed to talk about me, if I do it’s not good. Do I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t really talk about me anymore.
I have tried to convince her to try other men. She gives me a hard no!! She is slightly older than me, has no kids (but thinks she can judge other people on how they parent) now no offense if you do not have children I just think you should probably live it before you judge other people on how or why they do what they do.
Lol! I’m laughing so hard!! As I listen to you speak about this money aspect! That’s so true!!
Yes please! It helps us spot them. Thank you!
This sounds so much that a borderliner is a covert narcisist
I realized that they DELIGHT in the fact that nobody can read their minds. So they thrive on ambiguity. They THRIVE on the idea that they can say something with ambiguous meaning and get a malicious message across, but still deny they ever sent that message.
Oh, so true!! My ex boss exactly!
agreed - they thrive on their ambiguity.
The worst thing is all their enablers who think they are ''so nice'' because they are too shallow to see the signs.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Yes no one sees her as I do.
They turn against me instead
Some enablers are shallow yes but many are simply also victims of the narcissists lies and manipulation
So, so true! Yuck.
Dumb.
Covert narcissists are definetly more dangerous because they are manipulating everyone in a stealth way and turning you into the abuser, I am currently trying to get out of a really bad situation where I have a legit Bi-polar issue and my nasty covert Narcissist mother is completely out of control
Bi Polar 1 has overlap with NPD. Not saying that's you just FYI.
Hope you're doing well now.
@@tammysims8716 yeah true I married one unfortunately
@@Blahblahbby Oh I am so sorry. I hope you are okay and safe.
For me, the covert narcissist comes across as a people pleaser. They like to be in the spotlight to get the validation that they crave for, as other narcissists but at the same time, they pretend to be humble, simple, generous, over giving. The covert narcissist will take time to build a relationship/friendship with you. During this period, they will show their admiration and their devotion by helping you with everything that is you need. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates and that they understand you deeply. At the same time, you will see them being overly altruistic, maybe helping society by engaging in charities, activism. They feed the poor, take care of the homeless. All this makes you think how lucky you are for having met such a beautiful soul. You want to be by their side for ever. However, soon you notice how much they enjoy being invited in galas to talk about their achievements. But they don’t admit that. They still play the humble guy who doesn’t want all this. Who is beyond money, beyond fame and recognition, who wants to share the floor with other people. But their acts don’t match their words. You come to realise that this selfless soul is actually doing whatever it takes to be in the centre of attention. When you do something together be it at work or at home, they want to control everything about it. They just exerce their control in a more polite and implicit way, making you believe that your voice was heard whereas in reality you did what they wanted you to do. Covert narcissists have a smooth way of leading you on. They don’t shout, they don’t give orders. They are master actors. They convince you that you are together in this. What makes them a narcissist is that when the time comes for them to use you in order to draw certain benefits, they will do it without a second thought and you are not going to believe in your eyes. And when you stand up for yourself and raise your voice against them calling them for their phony identity, then you will see their rage for the first time and the mask will fall. Covert narcissists manipulate less with rage/exhibiting superiority and more with people pleasing behaviour/playing the eternal victim. They are not aggressive as overt narcissists. They are more cunning. What they both have in common is self-centered ness and lack of empathy. In the case of coverts, it will take you longer to find out.They knew what they wanted to get out of you from the beginning. They created a whole theatre play to fool you about who they are and their true motives. You will trust them with all your heart but when the time comes for them to prove their loyalty by choosing your bond over their personal gain, they will choose the latter with no remorse, without even taking any responsibility. Unlike the overt narcissist, they will have an eloquent excuse for doing so, rationalizing why they had to f@ck you over. They will pretend to be sorry about it because this is something that matches the image of modesty that they want to project but in reality they are not sorry at all. You will see them partying with your own money when they said they didn’t have enough to pay you back. You will see them being unfair and untrustworthy to other people as well. When the mask of the victim will fall, you will see the cruel smile of a perpetrator who managed to get what they want without deserving it. If you decide to unmask them run for your life. Additionally, The unwavering support and dedication demonstrated by Metaspyhub@gmail. com have been pivotal in my journey to uncover the painful truth surrounding my partner's infidelity. From the moment I first reached out to them, their professionalism and unwavering commitment to assisting me in finding the answers I desperately sought were readily apparent and highly commendable. Through their swift action and meticulous investigation, They presented me with compelling evidence that left no room for doubt. Armed with this newfound knowledge, I confronted my cheating partner with newfound courage, reclaiming my self-worth and paving the way for a future filled with renewed hope. Throughout this emotionally challenging process, Metaspyhub's expertise and unwavering support served as a constant source of strength, offering invaluable guidance and empathetic understanding when I needed it the most. I am profoundly grateful for their unwavering assistance, as it has empowered me to move forward with unwavering determination and newfound resilience.
This was perfect. Literally all things I would say not even know I was describing a covert 😮😢 thank you
This is a 100% accurate description of my current boyfriend. It took a while for the mask to fall off, we've been together for nearly two years, but the last 6 months he went through all sorts of situations with other people (lost his job, willingly helps people then complains he doesn't get enough credits and praise). Last week I caught him lying about drinking - he "admits" he has a drinking problem and say he'll get help, but he won't - then tried to gaslight me. Whenever I confront or ask him about something, he turns things around and tells me I should be more compassionate towards him because he's having a rough week, is tired, has a headache and what not.
This whole situation has drained me like crazy, I've sought professional help for myself. Things have become very clear to me. I've been in an abusive relationship with an overt narcissist before and know things are not going to get better. I just want out now, I'm not sure what's the best way to end things with him though.
nice advertisement. longest ive ever read
Ah, ya had me there
Wow this is beautiful. You can't explain it any better then this
I just call them out & tell them “ stop making everyone around you suffer because of your poor choices that you keep making “ a great example is when they have the opportunity to take time off around the holidays & they don’t & then when the holidays come around- they try to get everyone around them to feel sorry for them or they make others suffer because of it. I definitely started calling them out on that one !
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
The humble bragging reply when you try to expose their passive /aggressive behaviour is the most nauseating.
They do things that they KNOW you don’t like. Them when you say something…they gaslight you. And then of course,they threaten to leave you.
Like having an affair in plain sight with another woman (my wife is the narc here) and insisting on inviting this supply to family events, including a lunch with my friends for my birthday
The truth of it is. When I was with my ex who was a covert nocrosis. Everybody was on his side. So they didn't like me when I did separate and divorce him. But even I'm living with nothing. I am so much happier this way than living with him
I think this is why the "minimalist" craze became so popular.
Anything is better than living with them, even to do without many things you need.
@@ND-or5so Amen. Blessed are the poor.
I've been dating a covert narcissist for 5 yaers an we have been married for 10 years. Currently busy divorcing. After a while you consider this behavior to be normal. It will kill you. Be courageous, and get out. It's not easy, but worth it.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Yes! My sister drives a Mercedes and has a house in a fabulous neighbourhood yet she is so cheap about gifts! You’re lucky to get a framed photo of her children as a gift.
Ditto, I usually am very lucky to get a card! Last year I had one with every "bad" photo of myself on the front "specially made at home!" .. If I do get a pressie (rare) its usually a spikey plant that been reduced because its half dead! I don't understand at all.. I guess I should be grateful to be remembered!
I swear they’re in major debt living out of their means, they can’t afford gifts.
The difference between her in public and her at home was so strange. She'd light up in public, be so loud, fake laugh, constantly offering advice to younger adults like some sage. And then at home, like she was miserable most of the time. And sometimes, insanely happy and silly. Just all over the place and I couldn't escape feeling like she was a phony in public.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
That's terrifying. I noticed that pattern with my brothers gf. When I 1st met her , she was super bubbly and happy , I was like nice he found a good one. Over time she is the complete opposite. But around new family members she goes back and does that fake super bubly enthusiastic person. Then when we all get home she's mopey like, and all unhappy. Feel sorry for my brother
Yes!
The flip flop of behavior! And nobody would see it or understand, I didn’t want to talk about it with other people because who bashes their wife publicly? Little did I know she was spreading her victim story to everyone behind my back, making me the villain and abuser.
Yes, the "insanely happt silly thing"! Ms. Zung, PLEASE talk on this. My covert narc sis is famous for silly/nonsense talk that's out of place, not just in person, but when she writes cards, etc and it comes off as so odd. All i can think is its her way of disarming u into thinking she has no motive & isn't plotting to manip u... that she's just "an innocent silly person". Def. a telling trait of a covert narc if u ask me!
One of my favorite "subtle" putdowns was when he asked in a soft voice, "why is it you think that I have so many more friends than you do?" Priceless......
I wish we have attorneys specialties in defeating narcissism the way we have attorneys who are helping narcissistic abuse by playing the role of flying monkeys
When you said death by a thousand cuts…I have used that phrase to describe my ex husband and marriage. Also, I did feel very much like everyone would hate me for leaving such a nice guy.
Yes I’m soooooo done nearly 8 years of dealing with a “CHEATING” covert Narc and I’m “SICK” of the childish behaviour. What can I do Rebecca I want to finally see my son it’s been 7 years! His new wife too is a piece of work!🥶
yes ! the absolutely refusing ti do ANYTHING that you ask them to ( like take out the trash- from their own kitchen !)… absolute refusal to do any thing at all that you ask them to . just because you asked . Like.. how DARE YOU … ask them ?!? who are you to have any requests at all .
Literally is my mom. Finally discovering this at age 48 and my mind is BLOWN
Me too... at 57: Mom and 1 of 2 sist's... Covert N's! Best advice I can give: Trust your gut when they do creepy manip things. Identify the GOOD people in your life and invest your time there. I like to use the "I didn't even notice your were baiting me cuz I'm so silly/dumb/oblivious/airhead whatever" tactic, then "ope! I just realized I have to get going" (in fact, I make a plan for something b4 u see them to have a legit need to leave to make it easier). They won't like it, they'll mention it next time, but you can limit your exposure and the manip. Good luck! Remind yourself daily: You are a good person.
This is my sister.. I recently had to distance myself. Such a toxic person. She’s so phony too.
My covert narcissist ex brother in law actually asked me if I remembered a conversation I had with him ten years ago! That’s about the time my sister had enough of him. I said no. I did not remember a conversation from ten years ago. Holding a grudge forever is not an exaggeration.
My (ex-) wife would rage at me for hours about “wasting money” if I took our three boys (now adults) to McDonald’s for Happy Meals and time on the indoor playground. Yet she bought several designer purses ($5,000 apiece and up) for herself. Absolute insanity.
When eating at moderately nice restaurants, my sister would dig around in her purse and pull out a few quarters, dimes, and nickels to leave on the table as a tip... and the check would be like $50 to $100. This was after she treated the waiter or waitress very rudely by complaining and bossing him/her around for 2 hours. It became my habit to leave a very substantial (additional) tip on the table as my sister was strutting out the door. I would also apologize to the waiter/waitress for my sister’s horrible behavior.
Yes. My nEx made her kid eat food from the "gonna spoil soon" rack at the grocery store but had designer purses.
CAMELEON ! You nailed it ! SO infuriating !
SO pathetic in everyway, he drove me nuts.
Hang in there, the detox is atrocious BUT there's life after life with a narcissist ...
(Deep sigh of relief ... 🤩🤩🤩)
My older sister is a covert narcissist to the max. She was married to a grandiose narcissist. Their two kids are exact replicas of both parents. I had to cut off all communication with my sister after we sold a small retail center we inherited. She "volunteered" to do the bookkeeping after our mom passed away in 2012, but would get mean & nasty when asked to do what she said she would do. In 2020 we got an offer to sell the property and closed on it two days after Christmas. She was too lazy to attend the closing, and our broker had to drive 2+ hours to pick up her paperwork. After that, she started sending me cruel texts. So I texted her back & said I was cutting off all communication with her. I blocked her calls, texts, emails, everything. Since then I have been so happy to be rid of her. Life is beautiful 😊
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Was in a ten year relationship with a covert narcissist, was only able to pull out after becoming a born again Christian and my eyes were opened and l could see the truth
😊
Literally Moses is the OG narcissist. He created an megalomaniac God is his own image, flowing beard and wooden stick included. Unable to ever be pleased by you, always ready to come down out of the clouds and kill all the children because their kong didn't listen to his chosen snake-stick man.
This is amazing until I heard you speak I now realise I have been a survivor of narcissistic abuse
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Never apologizes, kept doing what I did (from decorating to art projects--and doing those much better than I because she was older and more artistically inclined, but they were my ideas--to work, despite me telling her that made me uncomfortable), always needling me with insults, refuses to discuss anything straight up but tells me, "call me when you are ready to talk", etc.!
Yes absolutely You quoted someone in an earlier video "You cannot simultaneously be a victim and a victor" that's my mantra when I start feeling sorry for myself.....immensely grateful for you
Nah. The two words aren't mutually exclusive. The refugee who makes it to safe soil is both victim and victor.
@@LydiaTaylorMusicthank you for this ❤️
Ive been struggling to understand what a covert narcissist is and this is the clearest explanation I've heard so far.
Im not trying to diagnose anyone but I am trying to learn to recognise these toxic behaviours
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Yes! It is creepy that my sister refused to give her opinion in a conversation waits until she knows mine.
That comes down to agreeableness ... Jordan peterson talks on this
@@gco1950 In my mind, she is not being agreeable. She is usually trying to triangulate against someone else and make sure she ends up on the winning side when she does this.
@@lt827 ok, triangulation got it... of course
I spent 3 1/2 years with a covert narcissist. This describes him perfectly
My sister who i believe is a cover narcissist has told us time and time again, by us i mean the family, that she wants nothing to do with us. She keeps announcing her departure. I wish she would leave for good and just leave us alone. I think that's strange behavior. My sister is literally a professional victim.
Why do you think that? What if you guys are abusing her?
@@musicandpoetry_8 Agreed with YOU, not the OP! Signing off, a 50-year old male scapegoat who thankfully lives 2300 miles away from their family of origin for decades
YES!!! My ex-friend looks nice and kind, but he divorced twice and his first spouse ran away from home🏃♀ I am scared of imagining what happened to his former spouses and what he did behind the closed doors😨😰 So I went no contact with him completely.
What’s his name? Lol I have a friend who a similar story 😫
YES ! Even if they offer to do something , they seldom do it and even scream and act like The Victim for being asked to do the smallest of things ,parts of their responsibilities.
As for the public persona...ohhhh, it's so hard to resist getting into specifics about the public posturing/ masks.
It's all about them, them, themselves.
So good at triangulation , devaluing ,disrespecting...all of which they blatantly deny.
#insidious
Rebecca:
Theeee WORST is CORRECT!!!
Thank you,
N D from CT.
You are sooo 💯 right on this.
Stay strong! ❤
You’re so on it!!! It’s so nice to have solid examples that are relatable. Thank you so much for your videos!!! ❤
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
YES YES YES. I just watched one of your seminars from your newsletter/website & it changed my life: thank you!!
Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
This made me cry. This is so spot on. How could I be so blind?
Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
Because you r a GOOD person & good people want the best for others. That's a GREAT trait. Now that u can c the truth, use your goodness to help those who really need & will appreciate it. ❤️
Love you and have become a fan. You’re the best one out there because you are organized and keep things simple to understand. Thank you.
I completely understand this. From being a reciprocal narc from childhood and resistant to the deep unempathic nature. I have struggled for half of my life. Very devastating for me. My father, my reciprocal narc mother, reciprocal narc siblings and friends. I have noticed the chameleon effect, it feels like you have you know them all your life. You have its you they mimick your love they love bomb you with your own love languages. I have been dealing with this for ten years. My soul has been murdered.
You can & ARE worthy to hv joy in your life. Seek it, & seek people who foster it in you. Every day, tell your brain u dont want to ruminate on the people who add nothing, but instead, u want to ruminate on what you love & gives u joy. Make plans to dive into what u love, sign up for classes, immerse urself in it all, focus on giving joy to others & let the other sh*t fall away. U deserve love.
ThankYou4Sharing Beautiful Sis!!! ❤ 🕊 MuchLove!!!
Thank you for great examples. Spot on.
YOU NAILED IT ! Out of the park! Thank you.
Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
Never apologise.....
Hahaha. I remember 30 yrs ago as a graduate nurse my brother cautioning me about doctors having the God complex, they never say they are wrong.
Great explanation of covert/vulnerable narcissism. Explains a lot!
This is your best video, Rebecca!
Thank you! ❤
Explanation is spot on
Thank you! ❤
Your videos are so helpful to me
Glad I could help. You got this! ❤
So TRUE!!! It's so sad that they keep getting away with it
You have helped so many people who seek answers. Why covert narcissists are so good at making you look like the one who is passive aggressive? And the trauma or bad memories that caused by narcissists can be look like grudges?
By #3 you are 100000% on point
I've just managed to pull myself away from a situation like this and it has been the worst feeling in the world
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
OMG this is my boss at work ! I've suspected but that's the confirmation.
Thanks Rebecca for the video!
Summarising here for myself and others, to come back and refer to it when I need (but still watch, a summary doesn't replace watching the video)
Outwardly covert narcs are so nice, the humanitarians but behind the scenes it's death by a thousand cuts/passive aggressiveness.
1. Being the victim is everything
2. Stubbornly refuse things you ask them to do
3. Public persona completely different from the public persona
4. Holding grudges
5. Spend lavishly on themselves, then super cheap in certain things
6. They are chameleons - often, whoever they're with, they'll pick up others' behaviour; they also stare at you to study you
7. Subtle putdowns
You got this! 💪
#6 omgosh! Didn’t know. Ugh still hoping.
This is my boss also....everyone that don't see my boss deep down, say oh i have such a good and nice boss. LOL. Cos he is so fun! So nice, he so generous blah and i am so lucki to have him as a boss etc. I was "smart" enuff to go over to a new company and with a 6 years bond, but end up, he is just keeps personal tabs on me... And when I questioned him on his inactiveness- he said actually "what are u talking about" 😂. Once he got mad at me when i overheard me saying that iam unhappy with my team, said i am embarrassing him. LOL
And he favours the top sales of the team - of cos that's normal but he "subtly" puts me down lol . well just for pple infor 9 pple alr left him. I am just staying cos of my bond. He compared the no.1 of the whole company with me when I am just a year into the company but idc i will do what i do. Even as of today, he told keep telling me upright my case will be rejected no matter what despite all my efforts, had to call another mgr to help me, and guess what it can be approved?!? he could not give a care because its a small case. Even then he did not apologise. Even when i text him about ideas he will say oh that's good and go into it half past six and not help me. During the convention, I initiated an idea and he diss it immd but my top sales of the team said it too n he immd wanted to help bring it up and even wanted to use my resources to help, what a hypocrite.
Its like he is trying to ruin me but when I confronted him about it he said oh why do think badly of me always 😂and got soooo defensive. And even scolded me so badly till i felt a hinge bad.🙄He so cheap with tipping which i nv get, he dresses badly so idk where he spends his money at- his family perhaps.
Hahha sorry for the rant which no one will read he's defo a Covert narcissist as what Rebecca described!!!
Studying me omg yes creepy staring into my soul nope have a wall there
My former manager is a narc and the safely manager
Spot on, Rebecca!!
Your video really helped me out ❤
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
I'm very grateful for you Rebecca, Thank you so much for this, You're absolutely beautiful and a treasure to humanity, This was absolutely tremendous, Speaks volumes, Keep shining light and speaking truth, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God 🌌💛💙💜💗💚❤🌈😃☘🕆🕊🦁😇🍄🐎👽♱⚽👁✌🦄🌹😘⚖
YES to the staring, it creeps me out but it's so true 😬😬😬😬🥴
I right away can spot a covert narc by that trait alone now ... & waste no time in running away from them 🏃♀️🏃♀️😶😶😶
Yes so true what you’re sharing Rebecca my respect to you thanks for teaching us
Check this out - icanslay.com/ Keep slaying!
You have so incredibly accurately described my ex and it’s such an insight into her mindset - ouch! Nailed every single aspect…thank you 🙏
Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
Yes. The covert narcissist in my life does several of these things.
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Yes! The part about not doing anything they are asked to do is dead on. My sister was supposed to be organizing the celebration of life for my mother. She left way too many things to the last week. My other sister and I did a project plan and assigned work to two friends and two family members. She was absolutely incensed that we wanted her to do something on a specific day and refused. We couldn’t even clean up her mess!
They’ll purposely not do what you ask of them. 100% on purpose.
Rebecca is Amazing Everybody!!!
Check this out - icanslay.com/ Keep slaying!
True True everything is so on point everything its so hard to Deal with I lived in it far years trying to move on its been three years thankyou ❤
So glad you found them helpful! Keep Slaying!
Wow accurate description of person I’m dealing with , thanks for confirmation
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
RZ, you nailed it!
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
Nailed it!
Wow this is spot on!
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
All of these for 8 years ...left 2 weeks ago, best decision of my life 😊🎉🎉🎉
So glad you found them helpful! Keep Slaying!
i've seen a covert run circles around a grandios. he still has no idea of it's happening much less the long game.
Not only do they want to be in the driver's seat and offer to help but once they get the gratification of being admired for the helpfulness or enjoying duping you into believing that they are going to do something, they turn around and not do anything. The audience that was admiring him is now gone and not likely to follow up.
Thank you so much.
Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
1. ✅. 5.✅
2. ✅. 6.✅
3. ✅. 7. ✅
4. ✅
All of what you stated about them is correct.
I am glad you mentioned the cheapness, my covert friend would allow people (her boyfriend) to spend hundreds of dollars on her putting them up in nice resorts taking her to spas and her gift to him that year on christmas was a 30 $ wallet and thats it.
She has never once worked hard for anything and couldn’t even find time to get a job to help pay for rent or any chores around the house for her grandma whom her entire family is mooching off of
Spot on 🔥
So True , thank you
They are all the things said. Toxic , mean etc etc
They belong in a place all together & live together away from us
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My daughter told me in February (after a few drinks) that I was a bad mom. She said that I was never there for them. She broke my heart, I did everything for my kids. Unbelievable after all I did for her errands, babysitting 6AM-6PM Monday-Friday all summer long feeding and doing activities etc all for free. Granddaughter’s birthday is tomorrow and guess what, she told my husband that he could bring me too. After I had back surgery they didn’t even buy me a pot pie no help at home nothing. She told my husband that I just wanted attention from the surgery. Holy Cow what did I raise. Get it, Summertime and no babysitter 😂. I’m not going.
I sooo hear you . I upended my life and temporarily moved to another state to help my daughter with her baby for 18 months! Never got a thank you from her or her husband! So broken-hearted.
@@cindys7514 I kept my promise and didn’t attend.
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9 years babysitting 3 days a week 24/7 then found out she used my credit card,crazy bitch, I’ll miss my grandson but not going back
SPOT ON!
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Wow you have this down pat!!
This is fascinating. Rebecca, would you please do a deep-dive video on reactive narcissistic abuse? All under the aegis of reactive narcissistic abuse, it seems, I myself have done many of these things
You're surely correct on that POV(point of view). I know this characteristic like I know the back of my hand.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
@@RebeccaZungEsq Oh, I've never allowed a brazen narcissist to think they should and have the right to own ME, NOPE! I grew up as a child entrapped in that nightmarish world of narcissistic abuse.😇
This describes my relationship with my mother. We have been estranged now for 3 1/2 years because I finally found the courage to standup for myself and my kids and made the conscious choice to implement boundaries and distance myself from the toxic behaviors. It was during this period of isolation, that I finally forced myself to begin the process of healing from my childhood trauma and thereby releasing me from those chains that were continuing to weigh me down my entire adult life. For the first time, I can truly say that I accept myself and embrace the woman. I am today at 42 years old. I thought the hard part part was figuring out how to truly forgive my mother for the many times I felt hurt by her while she refused to take any accountability or responsibility for her actions, but I was wrong. Once I healed enough to see past my pain, and not through it, my new perspective allowed me to see her as a woman with her own set of hurts and unresolved trauma. Yet I still recognize that until she is willing and able to recognize her own destructive behaviors and be accountable for how her actions affect me, we may not get to a point of reconciliation on this side of heaven. Accepting this reality has been difficult for me, because I would love nothing more than to experience a healthy and loving relationship with my mother, as I do with my own children. This dynamic has also put a strain on my relationship with my younger, brother and sister, because they have open communication with our mother and have bought into the narrative she has created which paints me as the villain in her story.
Unfortunately, I don’t think my mother will get to the point of facing her own demons and unresolved hurts until my brother and sister stop allowing the toxic behavior and enabling the victim mentality.
Although I'm male... Your story could be my own in behalf of my relationship with my "Not'Her".
I'm two years out from being able to articulate in the way you so Beautifully Did. Blessed & Blessed Be!
I thought it was tripping... I'm glad I came across this darn video 🥰
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You left out the fact, They usually always blame their wife for all their problems
You got this! 💪
Or mother
Or husbands
RZ i just can’t thank u enuff for showing me that im not crazy & this is REALLY A THING 🎉unfortunately my ex is exactly what u just described to the T‼️ & what’s even more unfortunate is he now kidnapped my son. He is in Clearwater Fl & Dcfs denied help.
I went to get a permanent protection order modified because my husband who is a covert narcissist started attacking me. He kept violating the original order by coming on the property when I was at work. He was acting so weirdly humble and timid (this man I found out, actually was convicted for trying to murder his first wife) The judge asked him why he was on the property, he actually told her he was PRAYING!!! The judge blew up yelling so load it was echoing in the courtroom. He's a very dangerous person. I have bought all 3 of your books and watch your videos every day. I will be divorcing him when I feel I have enough strength and information. But I know it will more than likely be and absolute nightmare. An attorney told me to run a CBI on him and I couldn't believe what it said. He lied the entire time I've known him. He's a very sick and dangerous person. Totally cons everyone by being the pathetic victim but he never sheds a year and always lowers his head while he's sobbing but his eyes are looking up to watch the people he's trying to con. It's very scary. Turns out he's studied the law since college to go after people and to defend himself and he's now 73 yrs old. I need to be very prepared and strong, I need more time.
This is why I couldn't leave and no one believed me. I stayed for 45 years until he passed away, and now my kids don't like me due to my being unstable because of the trauma bond.
We are on the same page Rebecca!
Like many of us in this feed, I have lived with both types! I’m writing to share that I have been living with what I believe to be a covert narc for past 2 years: we’ve been very good friends for 15yrs. Last week something snapped and he strangled me to the point of almost passing out! Put his hand around my throat and started squeezing harder and harder. I had to kick him off. I called 911 immediately. All exams show no serious permanent damage, but it’s still a sore! It was like he had been ‘sizing’ me up for the past year! Like and animal sizing up their meal! This is the first, and LAST time he will ever do this! I am safe now and following through with the Law and taking the next steps. This is the first time I’ve ever been strangled: SCARY… FAST… DEADLY. Please, if you are feeling WIERD about the way they look at you pay attention!
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
100% on the subtle put downs and side comments. Anything to put you off balance
he knows I won’t pick a fight and I respect his boundaries so he’ll set me up in a way I’m unaware of to cause him hurt so he can be my victim… Getting rid if a suddenly “beloved item” not fixing a problem he never told me he had, not reading his mind etc…
After being around these people for a while you begin to understand why they are always the victim. They fail to see the error in their ways and are unwilling to change themselves for the better. If your a good person you won't need to advertise it. They have the ability to disguise an insult as a compliment. Real 👍good stuff.
Everything you said is ditto. Thanks
This is my ex to a T! I didnt even know what a narcissist was until recently then i listened to a couple of videos about the covet narcissist. When i finally gave up on the marriage and moved out i came to realize he had some sort of mental illness. Now i know what it was.
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It’s like you are living my life!!
Check this out - icanslay.com/ Keep slaying!
You have about covered it all. Have you ever thought about writing a book? I have never heard any other bloggers give this kind of specificity of signs and symptoms. A lot of what I have heard is the very basics such as "manipulation." You just opened horizons for me. I didnt know how to name these signs. The covert in my life often gives public performances worthy of a golden globe.
YES! I asked my Husband for a Divorce 2 1/2 years ago. We were married 41 long years. I always thought he would change. However I believe he was a Covert Narcissist. Ive tried really hard to forgive him for what he put me through. I’ve thrown away most of my notes that I wrote down …while as I tried to heal. Im starting to forgive but Im afraid I may be forgiving all the many reasons why I wanted to detach myself from him in the first place. It literally frightens me.I listen to as many podcasts of your Dr. Zaun You have been a big help for me.
Ending marriage after 38 years he is a covert narcissist in almost every way it was destroying my physical and mental health he is still playing the victim unfortunately my 5 sons are who he plays this role with and I am the evil awful selfish person who caused him trauma because I left there is no way to defend myself and my sons took his side that has been deveststing for me I can so relate stay strong
You just described my soon to be ex to a tee! It's so difficult and draining to deal with her now
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
On point! 😮
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
Spot on…… grudges - they raise them years after you can do anything about it
Yes. Her problems were the fault of the ex-husband(s), parents, schools, college professors, friends, coaches, attorneys, and me. No responsibility. This is 100% true. The nEx would not apologize to me for anything unless the kid actually called her out, would not do anything for others unless she could post her philanthropy or environmentalism on social media, was dodgy about all information, had designer bags but would not buy me anything for holidays and made the kid eat food from the crappy discontinued or "going to spoil" rack at the grocery store, and always insulted me..."what a great achievement but too bad you wore X"... What a terrible person. Glad I know now.
Mine would tell me, "Oh, you smell nice then a heartbeat later would say it's about time. Then follow up with, I am just joking.
let this sick person do whatever he wants.... They are just damaging themselves... You are one of the least remaining individuals on this planet who still be in goodness, and that is why the wanna target you to make sure you become sick minded just like them.
You really want me to tell what I think ,yes I'll tell you ,you are brilliant, you are describing the bastard I was with ,it's over now and I feel so liberated, thanks to you for all the information ,you are so spot on .❤❤❤❤❤❤❤please listen to this lady everyone, believe me she knows what she is talking about ❤❤❤❤❤❤