Don't stop talking. You are helping traumatize d people who feel your pain and have similar situations. Your tell your story well. Thank you for sharing. You are brave, young gifted and are a Successful Woman. You go woman.
I've been dimming my light for years because of my fear of success. I fear my own power and I fear the envy of others. I was a bright light when I was younger and I've regressed, it hurts me so much. Hopefully you and I will overcome this hurdle soon enough.
Oh my God if I don't relate to you, especially the nostalgia and regression!! But I believe in us.. I know it's possible. Once we foster enough non-narcissistic love for ourselves a new power is unearthed within us & suddenly the outside noise from weak minds, like flies buzzing at your face just melts away.. I know it to be true! I've experienced it. And it's one of the best places to be in life.. unperturbed.
The envy spirit has haunted me my entire life. Especially in the past few years. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy because you have no friends or support and no one truly wants your best interest. Every once in a while you’ll get a good person come in but most people are so envious and full of hate.
@ 44 I'm just now realizing that this has haunted me for years. people in my life have always been envious of me, which in turn caused me to dim my light to let them shine. The price has gone up!! no more!
@@nishamack586 I've been dimming my light my entire life just to make others feel comfortable and avoid their abuse. I've stopped doing it now and everybody is showing their true colors to me. I've went through so many things this year. False accusations, reporting, intimidation, provocation, abuse, harassment, discrimination and racism. Everybody came out of the woods they were hiding just because I started speaking up for myself.
Going through the same! So much envy. From close family to boyfriends and classmates/workmates. I've tried to take it as a compliment but at some point it's unbearable and you just want to be around an uplifting environment.
Having narcissistic parents ontop of being bullied as a child, being humiliated and taken advantage of, it just really does something to you. You could be the strongest little girl , but once you hit your 20's, it just all shatters. All I know, is Suicidal ideation has accompanied me ever since I was 13, and living in a household where people bring you down everyday, it really hurts. Your videos are really really helping me cope though. I'm in the process of getting my two year so I can finally get out
@@NuMindframe Hi, I really appreciate You and your willingness to be transparent while helping others. Be well Beloved, be well. Sending love and prayer blessings your way. 🌿🙏🏾⚘
@@NuMindframe happiness/recovering love actually ignites a trauma response 💔 there is more to this lyfe than our pain...we been thru so much but were still here💔💜🔥🌹
Often I wish to hide, Not stand out, not call the attention of haters. But God doesn't light a candle to place it under a bush. It's place that others will benefit from the light!!
After losing my daughter, my home & my marriage I shut down. I go to work I pretend I'm okay but I'm so guarded that I trust NO ONE. I've worked at my job more than 2 years in that time I've told no one any of those things bc I don't trust people with my feelings. There are so many petty people who hated me the day I walked into my job bc they felt they deserved a promotion. Instead I walk in from the outside having gotten the position they wanted. I knew if personal things where known about me more than likely they would be used to hurt me. In which case I would have gotten fired for my reaction. I decided just 2 wks ago to stop the madness & begin doing work on my self. Luckily after many suggestions from youtube I found you! Your honesty & realness resonated with me. It is truly as though I'm watching a friend. A much needed friend whom I can trust. I want to say I'm sorry for your hurt. You didn't deserve any of it. You are truly a godsend for those of us struggling. Thank you for finding the courage to come back💖
So sorry for ur pain... may I ask did u lose ur daughter to custody issues, the system or out of ur life? Asking cuz that resonates with me. Lost my children and totally broke down. Life has been very difficult to get back on track.
@@numbernine3436 oh wow... that is absolutely horrible. I am so very sorry to hear about ur pain, it sounds excruciating. Thank you for saying the same. It is amazing to me what some of us have to endure in this world. The incredible hurt that we experience is beyond words many times and it sets us apart, bcuz many just do not understand. They havent been thru much and completely lack the empathy to connect with our sufferings. I applaud u for being on this channel. It shows that u are reaching out to help urself thru ur trauma. I know how difficult that can be, to get to that place. God bless you. I am going to say a prayer, I always do for the ones of us who have literally gone thru hell on earth! I feel ur pain. I have been thru so much, and I hang on daily, to fight the good fight. Please do the same. ((Huggs)) 🤲 🙏 💜
@@trulyunbroken7548 thx you. My experiences have shown me people do not have or do not understand empathy. I truly hope the situation with your children will get better. People underestimate how much a child needs and deserves to have both parents in their lives.
@@numbernine3436 thank you so very much! I believe u are right... my experiences have shown me the same. Genuine empathy and compassion appear to be very lost traits unfortunately.
You can really hear the hurt and vulnerability in your voice. I pray that you heal, and I'm sorry for all the suffering that you have endured. Thank you for sharing this video, I found it (or it found me!) on my TH-cam feed. It's very relatable and I have already shared it with a friend who had a similar traumatic childhood to mine. I've also now subscribed to your channel. Thank you, and I will keep you in my prayers
This explains a lot of me procrastinating to start my business. Just about everything you said I experience. You are strong! If a voice over help you then do that voice over! Thank you so much for sharing and continue that self care, peace and blessings 💜
Right? I know I'm really good at certain things. But I think I'm afraid of the success and having to keep up the momentum. The boss can't have slack days..at least not in my opinion
I hope that your business blossoms beautifully, and that it brings joy and happiness to you and your customers. Try to push away those doubting voices in your head, and know yourself as the boss you are. You got this queen!
My mother may be pathologically envy, I'm in my twenties, thick hourglass figure and most days go out and I happen to look just like her. She's always said things about my weight and status with getting my degree. I think she envies my freedom and social life. She's in her mid sixties now with a few chronic illnesses and my cheating father so I think she looks at me and regrets the decisions she made in her youth to have a life like she does now.
Fear of success!! Yess pathological Envy My Mother has this 100% my family feels this way towards me. Tons or narcissistic traits bounced around in my family. I see everything they project onto me and others.
Brittnie Rene move away when’s possible please... I move away from mine literally moved to another continent and had to learn a language.but it’s been great.
@@whoKnew1621 Most people can, it's possible. Nowadays though, they're just trying to ruin our lives with these new rules and new normal when it's not normal at all and viruses have always been with us and when it's time to die I'll die there's no stopping it even sleep and even if one was a millionaire and in a mansion with bodyguards and cameras etc when death comes it comes wherever and who ever it is that's basic human biology education not living in fear and survival mode like some animals when we're not animals supposedly so if people said enough is enough it will stop but one groups comply with the new rules especially on travelling they just simply handed their birth right of freedom to rulers who don't even know how to talk properly and have actual discussions and debates and bring solutions and ideas into life and those people who agreed don't mind living in disgusting fear. When just a year ago everything was possible and normal. If you're of mature age like 18 and have money and if you don't then u can work anywhere just to save and get your plane ticket to wherever you want to go and go and leave the toxic people and heal and meet better people and become independent and actually live and experience life etc.
This is EXACTLY how I have been feeling since I went through a bad break up combined with being forced to deal with some old family trauma combined with going to school, working and raising a child. I had a HORRIBLE nervous breakdown to the point that I couldn’t drive anymore, the sun was KILLER for me at the time, and I had constant dizzy spells and panic attacks. That experience completely changed me, and I have gone from being an overachiever to being afraid to shine in any way for fear of attack.
This is a perfect video for 2020 as many of us prepare to FINALLY "give birth" to our light. Thank you beautiful soul! I send you light, blessings and a hedge of protection!
I'm so sorry this happened. The scary thing now is these pathological people KNOW the language we use to describe, they're hip to the terminology and they use this to hide in plain sight and, when caught, to gaslight the fuck out of you. I've had a narcissist say the most bigoted things to me on several occasions and deny it to my face when I called her, telling me I'm just overreacting. This girl NEVER wanted to hear about my successes and would literally give me the silent treatment, act like she can't hear me when I was told her about something good that happened to me. When I ignored her messages she would love bomb me saying 'I miss you', 'I love you' 'let's talk', so I can listen to her talking about herself or mocking me. When I tell you I'm done with chronic narcissistic abuse. I've come to the acceptance that I'm better off alone in this world because people will really commit their life to making you feel like shit just because
I’ve been experiencing narcissistic abuse since I was a little girl. My mother would emotionally manipulate me into feeding her own wounds. My father sexually molested me multiple times in my teens. I’ve been self sabotaging since early grade school. I’m talking preschool I was already being labeled as mentally off due to the traumatic experiences in my house hold growing up. This year I’ve been setting boundaries and it’s been lighting some fires. My body is so sensitive to these energy’s now. I will visually shake of anxiety when ever I feel challenged. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. Everything rolled out smooth✨
I hope you remember me. You and I have almost the exact same situation of what we have struggled through. My mom was a narc and she completely destroyed me, and my father is extremely controlling. I have always felt a kind of a bond with you, and maybe that is why. Thank you so much for sharing, Nu Mindframe. It is like a perfectionism where you feel if you could just get things right, then everything would be okay, and you never cut yourself any slack. I still have the disability and am not able to work yet because of it.
I completely get this. When somebody casts you in the role of their enemy, it's awful. As I've healed partially and put my narc x behind me (14 years ago) I've become more confident, but that triggers covert scapegoating narcissists to try and eject me from a group. This never used to happen to me when I was 100% people pleaser, when I bent with the wind........ But as I became a little bit happier and more confident, then it would seem like in every group there would be one woman who'd covertly try and exclude me from the group by love bombing all others around us and treating me like a ghost. I could see how fake they were with their two different personalities but nobody else would notice. So being part of the way along the healing seems to trigger these covert scapegoating narcissists to behave like a bully to me.
I AM SOOOOO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS BABE! I’ve been experiencing the exact same to a T!!!!! You explained it ALL perfectly. I just cannot bring myself to post consistently because of this trauma. My subscribers miss me so much. I have great ideas and i just find flaw in everything: I could go on and onnnn about all of this. I’m to the point of tears bc nobody has touched on this in my life. Know this is extremely healing!
Let me be real as fuck with you for one moment please... it's people like you, who have used a platform to help others, that make this world worth living in. It's so messed up what trauma can do to us. It's so sad that anyone would do such awful things to harm another person, especially to someone vulnerable or with a naive or sensitive disposition... you are smart, because your survival depended on it. You are kind, because your humanity depended on it. You are brave, because you are forced to grapple with fear and pain every day. You are a SURVIVOR. But, more than that, you are now a WARRIOR. You have the skills, the foundation, and the power to do whatever you want in life. It is going to be okay, because you have already proven to yourself that you are capable and good enough. No matter what you've been through, and will go through, you have (and will) conquer it. The fact you open up and share your vulnerability is so brave. And you take time to turn your story into a lesson, in hopes to help others. You keep coming back. Bless people like you. You do make a difference. You are what tomorrow will become.
I know this experience very well. I can’t even tell who’s genuinely happy for me or not. I don’t take people seriously when they think positively about me. I had to deal with a jealous mother, insecure and spiteful relatives and friends. Never really had a good friend I could fully be myself with. Had to break up with a friend who was harboring negative feelings towards me and vilified me to others. I blamed myself and tried to please others for the longest. It took a long time to realize I wasn’t doing anything to deserve this. Still trying to heal. It’s hard man.
I 100% relate to this. I really latched to my siblings bc they are the only ones I could trust. They became the only ones that didn’t envy or mistreat me. I am glad I have them but even so our age gap can still feel like a blockade and it still pains me that I can’t find a friend my age.
When you see them, understand your intention ie. family dinner, holiday, birthday, etc. Practice responses beforehand so if anyone tries to pull you out of character, you remain calm and collected. Establish your boundaries ie. “At 2 PM, I will head out. Keep your achievements and even losses (really lessons) to yourself or vague. I hope that helps. I’m still learning too.
In my case, I don't engage with her unless I need to and I talk to other people in the family who see how crazy she is. It helps all of us stay sane in dealing with her. Communication is kryptonite for manipulative people which is why they learn early to isolate their supply.
Cut. Them. Off. No contact. This is hard for me since I have nieces and three nephews but I love me and my well being and I refuse to take any more of that on mental even if I can’t see my nephews and niece. 🤷🏾♀️
@@intergalacticbnb yes that’s a good response, some people say “ cut them off “ , but everyone dosent have the money to just “ leave” , they need to know how to strategically deal with these wicked forces and the best thing I can say is use everyday to work your way , away from the situation.
Narcs are everywhere stay protected! I also have Narcs in my family their terrible, but they are everywhere!!! I am convinced they are possessed and are filled with demons, we live in a spiritual world and its spiritual warfare. If you carry any light inside you the demons possess these people and they find you. I do understand the feeling of dimming yourself because it feels dangerous I relate so much, but I refuse to let them dim me. We need you to shine!!! Take time to recover as you need but keep shinning!! I support you, even if its on the internet! Sending you hugs and protection! Stay Blessed!
THE BEST HEALING CHANNEL It's the sabotage, systematic abuse. Sociopaths. The smiling assassin. It's a hobby. A career choice for these wicked cruel people. You've helped me so much. God has chosen you. 🙏 ❤️ I was thinking of you so much. Worried about you. So happy you are back.
I feel like throughout my transition between my teenage years and adult years (I’m 22) I’ve realized a lot about how I was raised.. I don’t even think I knew that I was going through traumatic stuff due to my moms (and her side of the family) narcissistic tendencies.. growing up, I’ve never really felt like I would amount to anything so I didn’t push myself in school. I didn’t push myself in anything really... I would start a project and never finish it etc. The fear of failure aspect really got to me and I thank you for sharing your experience whilst informing us on subjects that touch a lot of people. It’s crazy how there are so many people I can relate with, I’m starting to feel less and less crazy than my parents made me think I was my whole life, which is sad to say, but ever since I was a child my intuition was telling me something is wrong, as I’m evolving, I’m breaking through all of the gaslighting and I’m entering a new journey of growth and healing. The fear of failure/success is still something I struggle with, after all it’s a process! Much love nu🤍
I can relate to this. I had very 2 dark months followed by another few months of recovery. I didn't wash my hair for like 6 months. That's how bad it was. And you are so right about being in fight and flight mode. It is difficult to get things done when you are in that mode.
Even more difficult when your people say that you’re lazy, all you do is sleep, you need to get up and do something, what you going through is nothing, people have it way worse than you, etc. Those phrases makes me go into a even deeper dark mode than I’m in now
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I was wondering if you could make a video about how to handle the pain when having to let go of a relationship as a codependent/highly sensitive person (even when practicing self love). Specifically how to handle the pain that comes with it - the extreme emotions like loneliness, feeling abandoned and the thought of never seeing them again which can be unbearable. The obsessive thinking, panic mode, the uncontrollable tears and breathing. Sometimes it can feel easier to stay with a specific person than to confront that pain - not being able to handle the feeling of being in your own body when this pain comes along.
I’ve experienced a trauma similar about 10 years ago and when it happened to me I didn’t understand it. I had the constant painful pins and needles in my skin accompanied by full on anxiety attacks and the feeling of slowly slipping completely out of and losing my mind. It was terrifying, there were days I wanted to walk out into traffic while waiting for the bus. One of my friends tried to explain it as a shock to the heart but it was definitely a full on trauma that manifested in my body and hurt my mind. I also lost ALOT of weight and never had an appetite. It took a year for me to get back to a point of trying anything outside of keeping my head down, sobbing through therapy, & staying by myself as much as possible. You put words to something no one could tell me was happening. I’ve been and still am healing from that time period over these last 10 years.
Wow it's like a lot of the things you say have happened to me. I don't know if everyone experiences the stuff you talk about, or they just think they do. I feel like there's been a lot of pathological envious people in my life. The sad thing is that it's been people I was really close to and people I never wronged.
It's so hard to describe narc jealousy. Whenever I've identified and explained it to someone who hasn't experienced it, I worry that I sound like I'm full of myself and bragging. :( I love your channel.
I can definitely relate to you on so many different levels. But you are doing good. My abuse was so bad I have chosen to not have kids. They are too emotionally triggering for me and I still have a lot of anger and rage in me. I also come from generational NPD women who always said they hated being a mother and their kids. I love my unborn child enough to not have him or her, because I know my emotional limitations. You are a great healer and the fact that you are strong enough to be vulnerable on TH-cam is amazing.
Hey I hope you see this comment. I am actually doing a research paper on how stress and trauma can impact your physical body. It can untimely lead to disease like you mentioned, and to combat that self care practices are crucial! I would recommend if your able to do planks once or twice everyday for a minute or longer. There pretty Intense , but very efficient in releasing higher levels of stress and tension all throughout your whole body. I would highly recommend that to anyone who doesn’t have time to go to the gym or is unable to. Please try this, doing planks every day has so many health benefits, you can google the benefits if your don’t believe me. ❤️ I hope God protects you from all the people who don’t have good intentions for you, one affirmation I say is that I am protected every were I go and I feel the universe backing me up for the most part.
Voice over is good for me. But honestly even if it wasn’t, who cares? I’m more concerned with your healing and recovery. I’m sorry you’ve had such a traumatic year and I hope things progressively get better for you. May it be well with you. 🙏🏾💙💙💙💙
Thank you for voicing the same feelings! The way I was emotionally harassed growing up I always just tried to be as invisible as possible and its really hard to even accept positive attention because of what may be behind it.
Omg...I definitely understand that fear of success. I am the only daughter/scapegoat to a covert narcissist mother. I know about the pathological envy from as long as I can remember. I have not felt safe most of my life. Not only that, my mother did everything she could to turn my daughters against me and treat me with the same disdain as she does. I am no contact with my mother for about 4 years now.i am also low contact with my adult daughters. Having had physical,emotional and mental health challenges due to the trauma, fight,flight and freeze exhausts me. Ive endured so much in my 50 plus years and want to share with others that have gone through similar experiences. I'm pushing through day by day.
You are beautiful, well spoken and I totally understand. You are not alone. Go and be "GREAT." You are loved by many. Let your light shine. Those who see your light and feel and understand, will shine with you. We are your TH-cam family. God has you in hand.
For a long time I had strong feelings of envy, but not to the extent I would want to destroy someone. Now that I have gotten older, I see how crucial it is to make sure other people bloom. We need as many souls as possible to make the world a better place. So I am really sorry you had to go through that toxic experience. I wish those people to wake up and realize how wrong they are, and to fix their hurt. I hope you get passed this, and accept it. But also heal in your own timing. You are an amazing person ❤ you inspire me a lot!
I struggle with envy too. It's a huge trigger for me. But I've never wanted to act out maliciously towards anyone. I actually withdraw and go into a deep depression. I withdraw to keep from seeing other people happy, flourishing in healthy relationships between mother/daughter; siblings, friends, families, etc.
I can relate to this 100%. Dated narc after narc. Relationships and friendships. From people who i trusted and saw as kind slowly revealed their cold, cruel side. I’m still recovering from my ex who discarded me out of nowhere. I also relate to the shutting down bc I am an artists and I have not tried to express myself or enjoy myself artistically bc I worry I will be copied and self defeating thoughts. Thank you so much for speaking about this - we need a community to talk and share these experiences. Sometimes being an empath attracts painful experiences but we need to rise higher and pray for better people in our future xoxo
Yes indeed I had an issue of second guessing myself, my self esteem was horrible and the irrational fear and perfectionism is huge. Along with procrastinating and high anxiety. I feel like I wasted 20 years of my life. Starting anew with progress.
Yes Sis. I just realized I have been plagued by the pathologically envy more than half my life by my close ones. Just realized I am an empathy too. Suffering this from birth - I mean can I live?!
Please keep it high in your mind, that there is also, as many good generous people in the world. That is what I found once I left my narcissistic family. Love you
I hear you completely about dimming yourself so that envious persons will not try to tear you down. There are people that I was friends with since I was 5 years old who were like that, but I didn't even notice until we were adults. It's really something else to tell someone you think is a friend about a success for Good Fortune you just had... And watch their face fall. Feels like a punch in the gut. And I'm someone who tons of bad things have happened to as well. Ironically, many of them due to what envious or spiteful persons have done to me. So it's not like my life has been perfect or particularly privileged. I think what they really Envy is the fact that people like us don't need validation. We are our own rocks. It really bothers them because they need external support and don't know how to get it from inside themselves. They don't know what their callings are, and often don't consider that they even have one. Which also makes them feel empty. I used to be a social butterfly with many groups and activities. now I basically have no friends. I guess I never really did anyway. It's not a bad thing though, because now I have a lot of time to spend on my projects, my young family, and self-enrichment. No more distractions.
I was just recently thinking about you and how much your videos have helped me! But this one - the timing couldn't be more perfect. I sabotaged my music career and have been trying to destroy my artistic identity for years. Now I'm able to connect the dots. Thank you so much for still helping us! ❤️
Thankful to know I wasn’t imagining things - my stagnancy wasn’t due to laziness but a result of previous traumatic experiences. When you wake up after experiencing dark night of the soul you think things will simply begin falling into place but no ma’am - you are literally at ground zero and the canvas is empty. But that’s the beauty of it: you get to create an improved foundation and build yourself up anew. I appreciate your videos bc it is definitely helping me in this process. God Bless You💖
Honestly what a gift to find you today... whoever watches this should feel honored because I can sense your genuineness. I am so sorry you experienced all that. I can see the pain in your eyes. I'm glad you were supported financially during your time away from TH-cam as that would have added more stress to not have that money coming in. I am in a bad place myself.I need to quit my job as it really has changed me. I developed a fragrance sensitivity this year there where my lungs can close up and I can go into an asthma attack. My workplace has not fully accommodated me and told me to just take some pills and get a puffer and shut up. I have lost hope in humanity. I never had this issue before. With that being said I have learned about all the toxic poisonous chemicals in fragrances and now understand why my body is responding like this. There is a doc on Netflix called STINK that speaks to this. So many people have no awareness of what they are spraying on themselves, what they are spraying into the air under the illusion it is good. With everyone using so many chemicals to "combat" "covid" I can see this health issue, MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity) be on the rise. From Lysol to air fresheners, perfumes, etc the body can only take so much toxins. I think people have forgotten that the body requires fresh air/oxygen to function, not poison air. Anywho I see you and am witnessing you with compassion. You are doing a real service of sharing this. It is very validating to hear. I feel like a total failure as I am struggling to reach my potential as a side effect of trauma.
This made me want to cry, to know that there are people just like me! thank you for sharing this! For a while I started to feel like was something wrong with me cause if I'd even TRY to explain to the people around me they'd just be like "girl your tripping ain't nothing wrong with you." without understanding I'm literally dying inside lol (I'm being funny & serious when I say that). So grateful I've come across your channel! thank you thank you! You just have no idea! 🙏🏽
Thank you so much for this video! The pathological envy is REAL out here. Never knew there was a name for this feeling. I admire you and want to see you WIN! We need you! Thank you!
I definitely deal with delusional thinking about not being good enough. I’m pretty much constantly waiting for everyone to realise I’m an alien, faud, boring, dumb and not good enough. It is a terrifying feeling to have especially in romantic relationships. It is VERY hard to comprehend the idea that someone likes me and if someone says they do, I assume it’s because they don’t truly know me. It’s gut wrenching. Every bit of success I have feels “fake” or by “luck”. Not only that, I have been betrayed by people so often that I can’t tell if my negative self beliefs are delusional or true
That is so horrible to hear, like why people like this exist, like cmon your own life ??? Why would they want others to fall. I guess it is true that sometimes your biggest enemies are closest friends and family.
Your authenticity is so healing for me. It hurts more watching videos by people who have no clue and are laughing while talking about pain. The pathelogical envy hurts so bad when you see how happy they are once they think you are finally destroyed. It should create will-power to prove them wrong but the damage they have done is real. I now fear living life. When I try, I give up because I hear their voices in my head. Watching them brag now makes me numb. My mother told me to stay on welfare because I wont make more money doing anything else. My friend said she was disgusted because I rent a basement suite now.
I love your channel. I'm been sexually assaulted once during in my childhood and once again during my early teenage age. And then i found your channel few years back and you helped me alot ALOT. Thank you so much🙏
Today happens to be the perfect example of everything in this video. U did a great job despite your fears. It's astounding that others have gone through the same things I have, I never imagined so many hateful & intentionally hurtful ppl there are out there.. & being blindsided by the ones you've put your trust in- consciously or not, is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Today was that kind of day. I know I came across this video by an outside force. I was supposed to see it. I'm really grateful I saw it. & Voiceovers is a GREAT idea. You are so strong to keep moving forward, even if there's big things like being hospitalized. I've been there, it's absolutely NOT a joke. It was suggested to me today that I consider checking in again after what has happened. But, I think I'm I'm done getting up. Hopefully not all together.
Voiceovers are a great idea! The youtuber Chrissie only does voiceovers. And it really works. Esp. When listening at work. I really really love your content. It's so valuable just like you and helped sooo many 💖💖💖💖💖 thank you so much.
i feel so much sympathy for you. I too get mental blocks and thoughts that are really not mine stemming from narc abuse. Stay strong, we as healers are not just going through this. We are GETTING through this! Much love and peace
The universe has led me to you and it feels so good to have someone else who has gone through very similar things and genuinely knows what it’s like. I no longer feel alone. I’m sending lots of love and positive energy your way 💕💕💕
Yeah i can relate people have been envious of me my whole life even when they are more successful than me which is why I'm a little afraid of succeeding because no matter how much i succeed they are always people trying with so much effort to put me down. We have a few things in common I'm a black african male who dated a narcissitic ex and who is also the black sheep of my family born in Feb 5th. A lot of your videos really helped me a lot in my life keep creating inspiring awesome videos.
15:15 what you said about noticing when people are jealous is so true like i always thought of other girls,or friends being jealous but a partner being jealous of me was a rude awakening and I notice that shit heavy now it really does make you scared of success I actually don't even share when I'm working on stuff
I needed this video. I have a few blockages and it’s annoying. I’m trying to think positive thoughts to manifest my new beginning that’s coming up but negative ones keep coming from my toxic relationship two years ago.
Voice overs = absolutely okay with that. Thank you for sharing. Your getting through what you shared inspires me. I was gang stalked, communal narcissism in the building i lived in...exploited and publicly humiliated, smeared by "neighbors" and my "parents" at the beginning of covd. The things you spoke of about pathological envy, is exactly what I experienced. People who claimed "love" for me, obsessively tried to destroy me. My older sister died before she should have b/c of our "parents," who we always referred to as "them." Thank you for the info, the way you deliver it/speak. I find it inspiring. I have been making videos for myself (and recordings) to verbally ventilate, and maybe I can start a channel or podcast when I feel ready. 🙏❤💛💙
I’m so happy you’re back. Your videos got me through being in a toxic and abusive home. I finally manifested my own place last year. Your content was so helpful. I hope you’re well, much love.
Knowing how much courage and strength it probably took for you to record this, is inspiring. I can also relate especially to the not wanting to shine and having been in surroundings where I wasn't encouraged but instead envied of. Thank you for speaking.
Especially when you are vulnerable people will try to tear you down. It’s like they see our vulnerability as a weakness. I definitely know how you feel. It’s not that we have irrational fears we have the gift of foresight. Our discernment is always speaking to us.
I feel so seen, felt, and understood. This video made me want to cry, it triggered me, but in a good way that I can recuperate from and learn from. Thank you shaniqua 💛
I love your videos. Great idea. Still haven’t broke away from my toxic family yet but I’ve been working on it for so long. Currently have physical and mental health issues. I can relate to everything your saying. I had to be hospitalized too not long ago, when you’ve been through so much trauma your whole life by friends family strangers coworkers it’s very hard in general..feels like a constant fighting battle. we got this. I’m sorry you went through what you did. I was anemic so I was bedridden too and now I’m trying to figure out these mystery physical health problems I’m still dealing with I agree it has to do with all the abuse it effects you in all ways eventually I had to stop making music because of it, I hope time heals us all
I am having similar issues . Had to move in with toxic family due to covid and now I am ill because of their mental abuse . Trying to just make videos daily and work on my online business. I fully understand.
@@SirenASMR_ sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you as I’m dealing with the frustrations too and mood swings. Let’s just stay calm and tap into our inner child. It’ll be alright. Appreciate your response
Doing the "voice" ones are fine with me as we still get to hear your wise words. Dont worry about any mistakes or things you forget that you have to come back to. Its shows your real. Xx
One way I’ve been helping myself day by day is when I catch myself overthinking or picking at every thought I catch myself in that moment! I believe it’s called rumination and I push myself to do what my mind is preventing me from doing. Even if I have to go numb I do the opposite of what my brain is telling me. I suffer from a lot of fatigue and always want to stay in bed but when I catch myself thinking about working out or errands I stop thinking and do it. It’s not easy but I am really trying to make a difference
New subbie 👑♥️ Glad I found you 💋💜 Binged ur videos You look more beautiful 😍 and healthy ( as in happier healing state) in each new vid!! Am in University and am finally moving out of my toxic , dysfunctional home next week a few days b4 I turn 20 Am 19 Saggitarius. Every time I come home from Uni I go insane it's a total mental break down emotional and physical abuse at the max. Not anymore sis!!!💋💋💋
I even couldnt remember your channel's name to search for you. I just remembered you and didnt know to get you. Now you appeared and you mane me happy. I had a very narcissistic father who made my life a literal hell when I was a small boy. I really really hate narcissists. They are older brothers of the devil. Its a big punishment to be their son. Actually I dont accept he really my father. I wish I had no father.
You are such a sparkling person and talented in articulating yourself. You are a great speaker with a sharp spirit! I think I do have some kind of fear to fail. I am undertaking, just bought another house but in the area of exploring my skills and develop through study or practising playing instruments I am blocked. At the same time the desire to sing and create art and music /songs remain... My desire to reach for more, new things keep knocking on my door. Narcissists create an atmosphere where talents are not a natural river from the heart but linked to status and utter accomplishments. In my family it was not about the heart or soul but about positions and comparing everyone with eachother. You have a strong energy ⚡ . Energy is life. Narcissists want to draw that source life at our costs. Narcissists feel that life in and around you and want to thrive on your power. They want to check on you to know what's going on bc you are in a constant change going up higher and higher. They are like adapters. Wow as you state you dim your light I have that same reluctance. Relatable. Narcissists have criticized me severely which causes me to want to hide myself but at the other hand I feel like coming up. Like the song: I'm coming up I want the world to know I'm gonna let it show 😊 They attack your identity. Yes it's jealousy being projected and taken out on transparent, sensitive people.
My heart goes out to you because of what you have gone through and I wish nothing but the best for you. It is a good idea to get rid of the new age things in your life like tarot card reading because that is what is bringing you down. I know you have faith in God and that’s where you need to concentrate. Please look up Stephen Bancarz videos, where he speaks about New Age things it is very informative and I think you will be surprised.
Well, it erased my comment so I'll try again. I'm so glad to see you because I always thought you are much better at this than some professionals whom I respect and follow, such as Jerry Wise and Todd Grande. These people are good, but it's almost as if being a professional requires them to be lifeless, dry, and a bit pompous. You're not. You're real and relatable because you are so much a regular person, but yet as gifted in talking about these topics as they are but in a relatable style. (If that makes sense.) When I first started watching your channel, I'm not kidding, I thought you were a licensed counselor!! Once upon a time a high school friend of mine won Miss Virginia. She was almost a concert-level pianist. When she performed, she would apologize for mistakes she had made that no one else could even hear. You may be like that. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You have a great body of work here that is easy to learn from. I'm so sorry you lost your baby and all this happened to you. When things were horrible in childhood and it keeps on happening it is so awful. I'm glad you are doing better and glad to see you again on this channel. Are you still engaged? I hope so. It's an awful thing when your *whole* world comes crashing down. Take care and so glad to see you back.
You're back!!! 🤭 I keep attracting toxic relationships into my life as well BUT I'm able to recognise it much sooner and safeguard myself against them. I don't have any close, healthy relationships at the moment but no one is depleting my life energy either. I understand your fear about people wanting to destroy you, I know that from experience (family & romantic partners). I guess what I want to say is that we learn to safeguard ourselves better naturally as we love & get to know ourselves better.
I am a middle aged woman who loves your channel. Your ability to express your feelings and knowledge is very impressive and helpful to me. I have had some hard experiences so listening to you explain what is going on with you in such a thoughtful way even while you are going through it is amazing. I 've watched many of your previous videos and they are great. I pray that you will recover from this emotionally and physically and the light comes back in your eyes!
Don't stop talking. You are helping traumatize d people who feel your pain and have similar situations. Your tell your story well. Thank you for sharing. You are brave, young gifted and are a Successful Woman. You go woman.
Agreed. Sharing is valuable
And you are so wise and your words are so important. Please dont stop talking!
💯
Well said. She definitely shares very well.
I've been dimming my light for years because of my fear of success. I fear my own power and I fear the envy of others. I was a bright light when I was younger and I've regressed, it hurts me so much. Hopefully you and I will overcome this hurdle soon enough.
Oh my God if I don't relate to you, especially the nostalgia and regression!! But I believe in us.. I know it's possible. Once we foster enough non-narcissistic love for ourselves a new power is unearthed within us & suddenly the outside noise from weak minds, like flies buzzing at your face just melts away.. I know it to be true! I've experienced it. And it's one of the best places to be in life.. unperturbed.
@Andre’yona Scott Thank you. I believe in you! 💛🌻
@@katherinemeyer4451 Your spirit is hidden, not broken. I believe in you! 💛🙏
WE WILL!!!
Amen you will overcome
The envy spirit has haunted me my entire life. Especially in the past few years. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy because you have no friends or support and no one truly wants your best interest. Every once in a while you’ll get a good person come in but most people are so envious and full of hate.
You can't even speak with someone about it. God bless you.
@ 44 I'm just now realizing that this has haunted me for years. people in my life have always been envious of me, which in turn caused me to dim my light to let them shine. The price has gone up!! no more!
The envious usually look weathered anyway. Cheering people on in whatever they decide to do for themselves to be better.
@@nishamack586 I've been dimming my light my entire life just to make others feel comfortable and avoid their abuse. I've stopped doing it now and everybody is showing their true colors to me. I've went through so many things this year. False accusations, reporting, intimidation, provocation, abuse, harassment, discrimination and racism. Everybody came out of the woods they were hiding just because I started speaking up for myself.
Going through the same! So much envy. From close family to boyfriends and classmates/workmates. I've tried to take it as a compliment but at some point it's unbearable and you just want to be around an uplifting environment.
Having narcissistic parents ontop of being bullied as a child, being humiliated and taken advantage of, it just really does something to you. You could be the strongest little girl , but once you hit your 20's, it just all shatters.
All I know, is Suicidal ideation has accompanied me ever since I was 13, and living in a household where people bring you down everyday, it really hurts. Your videos are really really helping me cope though. I'm in the process of getting my two year so I can finally get out
It makes me feel less alone knowing there's someone out there who feels and thinks the same way I do. Thank you ❤
Facts
Same here. It’s like a light shining into this dark space.
100% agreed. It’s even worse when you have children. I’m so stuck. I’ve become numb to just about everything. Like I’m just existing and not living.
Same here
Great and inspirational 👌🏿👏🏿👏🏿❤
Girl. I lost all my 'friends' years ago and all I do now is look back and wonder how I ever thought those people cared about me. They were so jealous.
And toxic huh glad its over
The fear of praise may also be from the initial love bombing in the beginning of a narcissistic relationship
You’re absolutely right
@@NuMindframe
Hi, I really appreciate You and your willingness to be transparent while helping others.
Be well Beloved, be well. Sending love and prayer blessings your way.
🌿🙏🏾⚘
@@NuMindframe happiness/recovering love actually ignites a trauma response 💔 there is more to this lyfe than our pain...we been thru so much but were still here💔💜🔥🌹
That is a great observation
Right, the pnarc depends on na csupply, so he needs to invest in it.
Often I wish to hide, Not stand out, not call the attention of haters. But God doesn't light a candle to place it under a bush. It's place that others will benefit from the light!!
THIS IS SO ME. WOW.
that's a nice metaphor
After losing my daughter, my home & my marriage I shut down. I go to work I pretend I'm okay but I'm so guarded that I trust NO ONE. I've worked at my job more than 2 years in that time I've told no one any of those things bc I don't trust people with my feelings. There are so many petty people who hated me the day I walked into my job bc they felt they deserved a promotion. Instead I walk in from the outside having gotten the position they wanted. I knew if personal things where known about me more than likely they would be used to hurt me. In which case I would have gotten fired for my reaction.
I decided just 2 wks ago to stop the madness & begin doing work on my self. Luckily after many suggestions from youtube I found you! Your honesty & realness resonated with me. It is truly as though I'm watching a friend. A much needed friend whom I can trust.
I want to say I'm sorry for your hurt. You didn't deserve any of it. You are truly a godsend for those of us struggling. Thank you for finding the courage to come back💖
So sorry for ur pain... may I ask did u lose ur daughter to custody issues, the system or out of ur life? Asking cuz that resonates with me. Lost my children and totally broke down. Life has been very difficult to get back on track.
@@numbernine3436 oh wow... that is absolutely horrible. I am so very sorry to hear about ur pain, it sounds excruciating. Thank you for saying the same. It is amazing to me what some of us have to endure in this world. The incredible hurt that we experience is beyond words many times and it sets us apart, bcuz many just do not understand. They havent been thru much and completely lack the empathy to connect with our sufferings. I applaud u for being on this channel. It shows that u are reaching out to help urself thru ur trauma. I know how difficult that can be, to get to that place. God bless you. I am going to say a prayer, I always do for the ones of us who have literally gone thru hell on earth! I feel ur pain. I have been thru so much, and I hang on daily, to fight the good fight. Please do the same. ((Huggs)) 🤲 🙏 💜
@@trulyunbroken7548 thx you. My experiences have shown me people do not have or do not understand empathy. I truly hope the situation with your children will get better. People underestimate how much a child needs and deserves to have both parents in their lives.
@@numbernine3436 thank you so very much! I believe u are right... my experiences have shown me the same. Genuine empathy and compassion appear to be very lost traits unfortunately.
💜💜👏for you and her, sorry about your struggles. May you keep rising through your difficulties.
What a great breakdown. Anxiety can be so loud.
What a beautiful woman. I totally see you as a sister. Your videos helped me a lot. Shocking.
You can really hear the hurt and vulnerability in your voice. I pray that you heal, and I'm sorry for all the suffering that you have endured. Thank you for sharing this video, I found it (or it found me!) on my TH-cam feed. It's very relatable and I have already shared it with a friend who had a similar traumatic childhood to mine. I've also now subscribed to your channel. Thank you, and I will keep you in my prayers
This explains a lot of me procrastinating to start my business. Just about everything you said I experience. You are strong! If a voice over help you then do that voice over! Thank you so much for sharing and continue that self care, peace and blessings 💜
Right? I know I'm really good at certain things. But I think I'm afraid of the success and having to keep up the momentum. The boss can't have slack days..at least not in my opinion
Yes, now I am looking over my life also and seeing areas where I have been holding myself back.
I hope that your business blossoms beautifully, and that it brings joy and happiness to you and your customers. Try to push away those doubting voices in your head, and know yourself as the boss you are. You got this queen!
Same
My mother may be pathologically envy, I'm in my twenties, thick hourglass figure and most days go out and I happen to look just like her. She's always said things about my weight and status with getting my degree. I think she envies my freedom and social life. She's in her mid sixties now with a few chronic illnesses and my cheating father so I think she looks at me and regrets the decisions she made in her youth to have a life like she does now.
@A z I don't know because she hardly shares anything but maybe in a similar she treats me.
I thought I wrote this for a second. Literally the exact story of my life. 🖤
They do get jealous of young looks and especially our education. Remember that no one can take that degree away from you!
Fear of success!! Yess pathological Envy My Mother has this 100% my family feels this way towards me. Tons or narcissistic traits bounced around in my family. I see everything they project onto me and others.
Brittnie Rene move away when’s possible please...
I move away from mine literally moved to another continent and had to learn a language.but it’s been great.
@@ajohonly3721 that's great! I wish we all could get away like that. Would be nice😒
@@whoKnew1621 Most people can, it's possible.
Nowadays though, they're just trying to ruin our lives with these new rules and new normal when it's not normal at all and viruses have always been with us and when it's time to die I'll die there's no stopping it even sleep and even if one was a millionaire and in a mansion with bodyguards and cameras etc when death comes it comes wherever and who ever it is that's basic human biology education not living in fear and survival mode like some animals when we're not animals supposedly so if people said enough is enough it will stop but one groups comply with the new rules especially on travelling they just simply handed their birth right of freedom to rulers who don't even know how to talk properly and have actual discussions and debates and bring solutions and ideas into life and those people who agreed don't mind living in disgusting fear. When just a year ago everything was possible and normal. If you're of mature age like 18 and have money and if you don't then u can work anywhere just to save and get your plane ticket to wherever you want to go and go and leave the toxic people and heal and meet better people and become independent and actually live and experience life etc.
This is EXACTLY how I have been feeling since I went through a bad break up combined with being forced to deal with some old family trauma combined with going to school, working and raising a child. I had a HORRIBLE nervous breakdown to the point that I couldn’t drive anymore, the sun was KILLER for me at the time, and I had constant dizzy spells and panic attacks. That experience completely changed me, and I have gone from being an overachiever to being afraid to shine in any way for fear of attack.
This is a perfect video for 2020 as many of us prepare to FINALLY "give birth" to our light. Thank you beautiful soul! I send you light, blessings and a hedge of protection!
I'm so sorry this happened. The scary thing now is these pathological people KNOW the language we use to describe, they're hip to the terminology and they use this to hide in plain sight and, when caught, to gaslight the fuck out of you. I've had a narcissist say the most bigoted things to me on several occasions and deny it to my face when I called her, telling me I'm just overreacting. This girl NEVER wanted to hear about my successes and would literally give me the silent treatment, act like she can't hear me when I was told her about something good that happened to me. When I ignored her messages she would love bomb me saying 'I miss you', 'I love you' 'let's talk', so I can listen to her talking about herself or mocking me. When I tell you I'm done with chronic narcissistic abuse. I've come to the acceptance that I'm better off alone in this world because people will really commit their life to making you feel like shit just because
❤️same
Yesssssssssssssssssss im so glad as I’ve gotten older I’m not afraid to speak up for myself about this kind of abuse. Speak up and cut. Them. OFF.
@@KurosakiLuvar01 thank youuuu 🥰🥰🥰
I hope you know you’re more than enough and that you deserve all the happiness in the world.
She is sooo REAL and a lot of what she says resonates with me. Great content!
Yes. I’ve never heard these things explained better. Her insights are so brilliant.
I’ve been experiencing narcissistic abuse since I was a little girl. My mother would emotionally manipulate me into feeding her own wounds. My father sexually molested me multiple times in my teens. I’ve been self sabotaging since early grade school. I’m talking preschool I was already being labeled as mentally off due to the traumatic experiences in my house hold growing up. This year I’ve been setting boundaries and it’s been lighting some fires. My body is so sensitive to these energy’s now. I will visually shake of anxiety when ever I feel challenged. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. Everything rolled out smooth✨
I hope you remember me. You and I have almost the exact same situation of what we have struggled through. My mom was a narc and she completely destroyed me, and my father is extremely controlling. I have always felt a kind of a bond with you, and maybe that is why. Thank you so much for sharing, Nu Mindframe. It is like a perfectionism where you feel if you could just get things right, then everything would be okay, and you never cut yourself any slack. I still have the disability and am not able to work yet because of it.
Same! Also being a double virgo hasn't helped x
Yes of course I remember you, Always a pleasure to see you in my comments💕 I hope we both overcome our perfectionism soon🙏🏾
Never dim yourself, you're helping so many people!!!
I completely get this. When somebody casts you in the role of their enemy, it's awful. As I've healed partially and put my narc x behind me (14 years ago) I've become more confident, but that triggers covert scapegoating narcissists to try and eject me from a group. This never used to happen to me when I was 100% people pleaser, when I bent with the wind........ But as I became a little bit happier and more confident, then it would seem like in every group there would be one woman who'd covertly try and exclude me from the group by love bombing all others around us and treating me like a ghost. I could see how fake they were with their two different personalities but nobody else would notice. So being part of the way along the healing seems to trigger these covert scapegoating narcissists to behave like a bully to me.
I AM SOOOOO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS BABE!
I’ve been experiencing the exact same to a T!!!!!
You explained it ALL perfectly.
I just cannot bring myself to post consistently because of this trauma. My subscribers miss me so much. I have great ideas and i just find flaw in everything:
I could go on and onnnn about all of this. I’m to the point of tears bc nobody has touched on this in my life. Know this is extremely healing!
ME TOO
Miss your spirits 🙌🏾
I have “procrastinated “ a lot in life due to all 4 .
@Avionna Thomas same! 😰😓😢😥
Let me be real as fuck with you for one moment please... it's people like you, who have used a platform to help others, that make this world worth living in. It's so messed up what trauma can do to us. It's so sad that anyone would do such awful things to harm another person, especially to someone vulnerable or with a naive or sensitive disposition... you are smart, because your survival depended on it. You are kind, because your humanity depended on it. You are brave, because you are forced to grapple with fear and pain every day. You are a SURVIVOR. But, more than that, you are now a WARRIOR. You have the skills, the foundation, and the power to do whatever you want in life. It is going to be okay, because you have already proven to yourself that you are capable and good enough. No matter what you've been through, and will go through, you have (and will) conquer it. The fact you open up and share your vulnerability is so brave. And you take time to turn your story into a lesson, in hopes to help others. You keep coming back. Bless people like you. You do make a difference. You are what tomorrow will become.
I know this experience very well. I can’t even tell who’s genuinely happy for me or not. I don’t take people seriously when they think positively about me. I had to deal with a jealous mother, insecure and spiteful relatives and friends. Never really had a good friend I could fully be myself with. Had to break up with a friend who was harboring negative feelings towards me and vilified me to others.
I blamed myself and tried to please others for the longest. It took a long time to realize I wasn’t doing anything to deserve this. Still trying to heal. It’s hard man.
Feel this 100%
I 100% relate to this. I really latched to my siblings bc they are the only ones I could trust. They became the only ones that didn’t envy or mistreat me. I am glad I have them but even so our age gap can still feel like a blockade and it still pains me that I can’t find a friend my age.
Me2 my mom ass caused all the shit
me too
Anyone have any advice for toxic family members pulling on your energy and making it seem like your selfish, weird, or crazy
I know how that feels
When you see them, understand your intention ie. family dinner, holiday, birthday, etc. Practice responses beforehand so if anyone tries to pull you out of character, you remain calm and collected. Establish your boundaries ie. “At 2 PM, I will head out. Keep your achievements and even losses (really lessons) to yourself or vague. I hope that helps. I’m still learning too.
In my case, I don't engage with her unless I need to and I talk to other people in the family who see how crazy she is. It helps all of us stay sane in dealing with her. Communication is kryptonite for manipulative people which is why they learn early to isolate their supply.
Cut. Them. Off. No contact. This is hard for me since I have nieces and three nephews but I love me and my well being and I refuse to take any more of that on mental even if I can’t see my nephews and niece. 🤷🏾♀️
@@intergalacticbnb yes that’s a good response, some people say “ cut them off “ , but everyone dosent have the money to just “ leave” , they need to know how to strategically deal with these wicked forces and the best thing I can say is use everyday to work your way , away from the situation.
This made me realise my ex destroyed me due to his jealously. Thankyou so much for this video. I love your energy and how you explain things. ❤
Narcs are everywhere stay protected! I also have Narcs in my family their terrible, but they are everywhere!!! I am convinced they are possessed and are filled with demons, we live in a spiritual world and its spiritual warfare. If you carry any light inside you the demons possess these people and they find you. I do understand the feeling of dimming yourself because it feels dangerous I relate so much, but I refuse to let them dim me. We need you to shine!!! Take time to recover as you need but keep shinning!! I support you, even if its on the internet! Sending you hugs and protection! Stay Blessed!
Healing takes time & recharging is a must to staying in balance, may blissfulness continue to follow you..
THE BEST HEALING CHANNEL It's the sabotage, systematic abuse. Sociopaths. The smiling assassin. It's a hobby. A career choice for these wicked cruel people. You've helped me so much. God has chosen you. 🙏 ❤️ I was thinking of you so much. Worried about you. So happy you are back.
I feel like throughout my transition between my teenage years and adult years (I’m 22) I’ve realized a lot about how I was raised.. I don’t even think I knew that I was going through traumatic stuff due to my moms (and her side of the family) narcissistic tendencies.. growing up, I’ve never really felt like I would amount to anything so I didn’t push myself in school. I didn’t push myself in anything really... I would start a project and never finish it etc. The fear of failure aspect really got to me and I thank you for sharing your experience whilst informing us on subjects that touch a lot of people.
It’s crazy how there are so many people I can relate with, I’m starting to feel less and less crazy than my parents made me think I was my whole life, which is sad to say, but ever since I was a child my intuition was telling me something is wrong, as I’m evolving, I’m breaking through all of the gaslighting and I’m entering a new journey of growth and healing. The fear of failure/success is still something I struggle with, after all it’s a process! Much love nu🤍
I can relate to this. I had very 2 dark months followed by another few months of recovery. I didn't wash my hair for like 6 months. That's how bad it was. And you are so right about being in fight and flight mode. It is difficult to get things done when you are in that mode.
Even more difficult when your people say that you’re lazy, all you do is sleep, you need to get up and do something, what you going through is nothing, people have it way worse than you, etc. Those phrases makes me go into a even deeper dark mode than I’m in now
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I was wondering if you could make a video about how to handle the pain when having to let go of a relationship as a codependent/highly sensitive person (even when practicing self love). Specifically how to handle the pain that comes with it - the extreme emotions like loneliness, feeling abandoned and the thought of never seeing them again which can be unbearable. The obsessive thinking, panic mode, the uncontrollable tears and breathing. Sometimes it can feel easier to stay with a specific person than to confront that pain - not being able to handle the feeling of being in your own body when this pain comes along.
So so true. We feels break ups worse than healthy people
Yes of course❤️
I relate so much 😔 so sorry you're going through that.
I’ve experienced a trauma similar about 10 years ago and when it happened to me I didn’t understand it. I had the constant painful pins and needles in my skin accompanied by full on anxiety attacks and the feeling of slowly slipping completely out of and losing my mind. It was terrifying, there were days I wanted to walk out into traffic while waiting for the bus. One of my friends tried to explain it as a shock to the heart but it was definitely a full on trauma that manifested in my body and hurt my mind. I also lost ALOT of weight and never had an appetite. It took a year for me to get back to a point of trying anything outside of keeping my head down, sobbing through therapy, & staying by myself as much as possible. You put words to something no one could tell me was happening. I’ve been and still am healing from that time period over these last 10 years.
@Delisha McNealy Thank you for writing this. It's been years for me, not just one. It did hit my heart.
Wow it's like a lot of the things you say have happened to me. I don't know if everyone experiences the stuff you talk about, or they just think they do. I feel like there's been a lot of pathological envious people in my life. The sad thing is that it's been people I was really close to and people I never wronged.
Lee Stevens
it’s horrible horrible it’s always the ones who know your weaknesses .
Absolutely heart breaking. I hope you’re ok .
@@ajohonly3721 I'm fine thanks for your concern.
Yeah
@@Leestevensmusic same!😥😢😓😰
It's so hard to describe narc jealousy. Whenever I've identified and explained it to someone who hasn't experienced it, I worry that I sound like I'm full of myself and bragging. :( I love your channel.
Bro swear, their so crafty they have everyone convinced your trippin. I hate it
I can definitely relate to you on so many different levels. But you are doing good. My abuse was so bad I have chosen to not have kids. They are too emotionally triggering for me and I still have a lot of anger and rage in me. I also come from generational NPD women who always said they hated being a mother and their kids. I love my unborn child enough to not have him or her, because I know my emotional limitations. You are a great healer and the fact that you are strong enough to be vulnerable on TH-cam is amazing.
Hey I hope you see this comment. I am actually doing a research paper on how stress and trauma can impact your physical body. It can untimely lead to disease like you mentioned, and to combat that self care practices are crucial! I would recommend if your able to do planks once or twice everyday for a minute or longer. There pretty Intense , but very efficient in releasing higher levels of stress and tension all throughout your whole body. I would highly recommend that to anyone who doesn’t have time to go to the gym or is unable to. Please try this, doing planks every day has so many health benefits, you can google the benefits if your don’t believe me. ❤️ I hope God protects you from all the people who don’t have good intentions for you, one affirmation I say is that I am protected every were I go and I feel the universe backing me up for the most part.
Wow so planks are a super exercise ah? I didn't know! I know they're great for your core!
Thanks for sharing imma try this
Voice over is good for me. But honestly even if it wasn’t, who cares? I’m more concerned with your healing and recovery. I’m sorry you’ve had such a traumatic year and I hope things progressively get better for you. May it be well with you. 🙏🏾💙💙💙💙
finally someone talking about fear of sucess
Thank you for voicing the same feelings! The way I was emotionally harassed growing up I always just tried to be as invisible as possible and its really hard to even accept positive attention because of what may be behind it.
Omg...I definitely understand that fear of success. I am the only daughter/scapegoat to a covert narcissist mother. I know about the pathological envy from as long as I can remember. I have not felt safe most of my life. Not only that, my mother did everything she could to turn my daughters against me and treat me with the same disdain as she does. I am no contact with my mother for about 4 years now.i am also low contact with my adult daughters. Having had physical,emotional and mental health challenges due to the trauma, fight,flight and freeze exhausts me. Ive endured so much in my 50 plus years and want to share with others that have gone through similar experiences. I'm pushing through day by day.
me too, very similar
You are beautiful, well spoken and I totally understand. You are not alone. Go and be "GREAT." You are loved by many. Let your light shine. Those who see your light and feel and understand, will shine with you. We are your TH-cam family. God has you in hand.
You are phenomenonal sis !! Resonates with me a lot !!
Less than 3 minutes in and I'm already feeling the tears welling up. Thank you Sis! I see you! You are me!
For a long time I had strong feelings of envy, but not to the extent I would want to destroy someone. Now that I have gotten older, I see how crucial it is to make sure other people bloom. We need as many souls as possible to make the world a better place. So I am really sorry you had to go through that toxic experience. I wish those people to wake up and realize how wrong they are, and to fix their hurt. I hope you get passed this, and accept it. But also heal in your own timing. You are an amazing person ❤ you inspire me a lot!
I struggle with envy too. It's a huge trigger for me. But I've never wanted to act out maliciously towards anyone. I actually withdraw and go into a deep depression. I withdraw to keep from seeing other people happy, flourishing in healthy relationships between mother/daughter; siblings, friends, families, etc.
I can relate to this 100%. Dated narc after narc. Relationships and friendships. From people who i trusted and saw as kind slowly revealed their cold, cruel side. I’m still recovering from my ex who discarded me out of nowhere. I also relate to the shutting down bc I am an artists and I have not tried to express myself or enjoy myself artistically bc I worry I will be copied and self defeating thoughts. Thank you so much for speaking about this - we need a community to talk and share these experiences. Sometimes being an empath attracts painful experiences but we need to rise higher and pray for better people in our future xoxo
People can emulate art, but nobody can copy your artistic voice. Plus you don't have to publish anything before you are ready.
Same
Yes indeed I had an issue of second guessing myself, my self esteem was horrible and the irrational fear and perfectionism is huge. Along with procrastinating and high anxiety. I feel like I wasted 20 years of my life. Starting anew with progress.
Don't worry. You didn't waste time. Be glad you have been given a second chance.
@@ajl2232 Yes indeed. Thank you and much wiser.
Yes Sis. I just realized I have been plagued by the pathologically envy more than half my life by my close ones. Just realized I am an empathy too. Suffering this from birth - I mean can I live?!
Please keep it high in your mind, that there is also, as many good generous people in the world. That is what I found once I left my narcissistic family. Love you
There are many good people in the world. Learning to identify them is important for our survival.
I hear you completely about dimming yourself so that envious persons will not try to tear you down. There are people that I was friends with since I was 5 years old who were like that, but I didn't even notice until we were adults. It's really something else to tell someone you think is a friend about a success for Good Fortune you just had... And watch their face fall. Feels like a punch in the gut. And I'm someone who tons of bad things have happened to as well. Ironically, many of them due to what envious or spiteful persons have done to me. So it's not like my life has been perfect or particularly privileged. I think what they really Envy is the fact that people like us don't need validation. We are our own rocks. It really bothers them because they need external support and don't know how to get it from inside themselves. They don't know what their callings are, and often don't consider that they even have one. Which also makes them feel empty.
I used to be a social butterfly with many groups and activities. now I basically have no friends. I guess I never really did anyway. It's not a bad thing though, because now I have a lot of time to spend on my projects, my young family, and self-enrichment. No more distractions.
I was just recently thinking about you and how much your videos have helped me! But this one - the timing couldn't be more perfect. I sabotaged my music career and have been trying to destroy my artistic identity for years. Now I'm able to connect the dots. Thank you so much for still helping us! ❤️
Thankful to know I wasn’t imagining things - my stagnancy wasn’t due to laziness but a result of previous traumatic experiences. When you wake up after experiencing dark night of the soul you think things will simply begin falling into place but no ma’am - you are literally at ground zero and the canvas is empty. But that’s the beauty of it: you get to create an improved foundation and build yourself up anew. I appreciate your videos bc it is definitely helping me in this process. God Bless You💖
The topics you raise in this video is so important. You explain and give examples in an excellent way. Thank you!
Honestly what a gift to find you today... whoever watches this should feel honored because I can sense your genuineness. I am so sorry you experienced all that. I can see the pain in your eyes. I'm glad you were supported financially during your time away from TH-cam as that would have added more stress to not have that money coming in. I am in a bad place myself.I need to quit my job as it really has changed me. I developed a fragrance sensitivity this year there where my lungs can close up and I can go into an asthma attack. My workplace has not fully accommodated me and told me to just take some pills and get a puffer and shut up. I have lost hope in humanity. I never had this issue before. With that being said I have learned about all the toxic poisonous chemicals in fragrances and now understand why my body is responding like this. There is a doc on Netflix called STINK that speaks to this. So many people have no awareness of what they are spraying on themselves, what they are spraying into the air under the illusion it is good. With everyone using so many chemicals to "combat" "covid" I can see this health issue, MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity) be on the rise. From Lysol to air fresheners, perfumes, etc the body can only take so much toxins. I think people have forgotten that the body requires fresh air/oxygen to function, not poison air. Anywho I see you and am witnessing you with compassion. You are doing a real service of sharing this. It is very validating to hear. I feel like a total failure as I am struggling to reach my potential as a side effect of trauma.
Wow, I didn't know about the poisonous toxic chemicals in perfume, did hear something about deodorant. You assume it's tested and save
You’re looking great sis! Glad you’re back ❤️
This made me want to cry, to know that there are people just like me! thank you for sharing this! For a while I started to feel like was something wrong with me cause if I'd even TRY to explain to the people around me they'd just be like "girl your tripping ain't nothing wrong with you." without understanding I'm literally dying inside lol (I'm being funny & serious when I say that). So grateful I've come across your channel! thank you thank you! You just have no idea! 🙏🏽
Soo happy you’re back sis. Glad you took the time that you needed. 💓
As a child growing up, I came across a few narcissistic adults who did not want to see me reach my full potential
Thank you so much for this video! The pathological envy is REAL out here. Never knew there was a name for this feeling. I admire you and want to see you WIN! We need you! Thank you!
I definitely deal with delusional thinking about not being good enough. I’m pretty much constantly waiting for everyone to realise I’m an alien, faud, boring, dumb and not good enough. It is a terrifying feeling to have especially in romantic relationships. It is VERY hard to comprehend the idea that someone likes me and if someone says they do, I assume it’s because they don’t truly know me. It’s gut wrenching. Every bit of success I have feels “fake” or by “luck”. Not only that, I have been betrayed by people so often that I can’t tell if my negative self beliefs are delusional or true
That is so horrible to hear, like why people like this exist, like cmon your own life ??? Why would they want others to fall. I guess it is true that sometimes your biggest enemies are closest friends and family.
Truly miserable people want others to be miserable as well.
Misery loves company! 💯
It be ya own family
@emily stieben I am sorry. I wish you could find it in yourself to shine in her presence💫. Be a gold rock instead.
Demonic possession is very real
Your authenticity is so healing for me. It hurts more watching videos by people who have no clue and are laughing while talking about pain.
The pathelogical envy hurts so bad when you see how happy they are once they think you are finally destroyed. It should create will-power to prove them wrong but the damage they have done is real. I now fear living life. When I try, I give up because I hear their voices in my head. Watching them brag now makes me numb. My mother told me to stay on welfare because I wont make more money doing anything else. My friend said she was disgusted because I rent a basement suite now.
I love your channel. I'm been sexually assaulted once during in my childhood and once again during my early teenage age. And then i found your channel few years back and you helped me alot ALOT. Thank you so much🙏
OMG! I have in so many ways felt like this... Fear of success, Fera of being myself etc. Thank you
Today happens to be the perfect example of everything in this video. U did a great job despite your fears. It's astounding that others have gone through the same things I have, I never imagined so many hateful & intentionally hurtful ppl there are out there.. & being blindsided by the ones you've put your trust in- consciously or not, is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Today was that kind of day. I know I came across this video by an outside force. I was supposed to see it. I'm really grateful I saw it. & Voiceovers is a GREAT idea. You are so strong to keep moving forward, even if there's big things like being hospitalized. I've been there, it's absolutely NOT a joke. It was suggested to me today that I consider checking in again after what has happened. But, I think I'm I'm done getting up. Hopefully not all together.
Wow! “Pathological envy” so accurately describes my primary caretaker and a lot of my behavior as a survivor of trauma. Thank you!
Voiceovers are a great idea! The youtuber Chrissie only does voiceovers. And it really works. Esp. When listening at work. I really really love your content. It's so valuable just like you and helped sooo many 💖💖💖💖💖 thank you so much.
Yes we dont mind. Do what you have to do girl. Will miss that face tho
Yeah agreed. Do whatever works best for you!! If that is voice overs then go for it!! Podcasts on TH-cam are common and useful.
Yes! Luv Chrissie.
This really hit home, wow. 💔 You’re so strong to be able to talk about this and especially on camera. Thank you for this video.
me too
i feel so much sympathy for you. I too get mental blocks and thoughts that are really not mine stemming from narc abuse. Stay strong, we as healers are not just going through this. We are GETTING through this! Much love and peace
The universe has led me to you and it feels so good to have someone else who has gone through very similar things and genuinely knows what it’s like. I no longer feel alone. I’m sending lots of love and positive energy your way 💕💕💕
Yeah i can relate people have been envious of me my whole life even when they are more successful than me which is why I'm a little afraid of succeeding because no matter how much i succeed they are always people trying with so much effort to put me down. We have a few things in common I'm a black african male who dated a narcissitic ex and who is also the black sheep of my family born in Feb 5th. A lot of your videos really helped me a lot in my life keep creating inspiring awesome videos.
February 10 and the black sheep.
My narc mom is a leo and hates that she can't control, manipulate me like others
15:15 what you said about noticing when people are jealous is so true like i always thought of other girls,or friends being jealous but a partner being jealous of me was a rude awakening and I notice that shit heavy now it really does make you scared of success I actually don't even share when I'm working on stuff
I needed this video. I have a few blockages and it’s annoying. I’m trying to think positive thoughts to manifest my new beginning that’s coming up but negative ones keep coming from my toxic relationship two years ago.
Voice overs = absolutely okay with that. Thank you for sharing. Your getting through what you shared inspires me. I was gang stalked, communal narcissism in the building i lived in...exploited and publicly humiliated, smeared by "neighbors" and my "parents" at the beginning of covd.
The things you spoke of about pathological envy, is exactly what I experienced. People who claimed "love" for me, obsessively tried to destroy me. My older sister died before she should have b/c of our "parents," who we always referred to as "them."
Thank you for the info, the way you deliver it/speak. I find it inspiring. I have been making videos for myself (and recordings) to verbally ventilate, and maybe I can start a channel or podcast when I feel ready.
🙏❤💛💙
We missed you queen. We need you!
I’m so happy you’re back. Your videos got me through being in a toxic and abusive home. I finally manifested my own place last year. Your content was so helpful. I hope you’re well, much love.
Great to see you back! Self care is very important, especially during the healing process. Endless Blessings to you!🌹❤️🙏🏽☮️🌈
Knowing how much courage and strength it probably took for you to record this, is inspiring. I can also relate especially to the not wanting to shine and having been in surroundings where I wasn't encouraged but instead envied of. Thank you for speaking.
I wouldn’t mind the voiceovers, your voice is so soothing your videos help me relax so I can sleep. Most of the time I am only listening.
Especially when you are vulnerable people will try to tear you down. It’s like they see our vulnerability as a weakness. I definitely know how you feel. It’s not that we have irrational fears we have the gift of foresight. Our discernment is always speaking to us.
Yes that's really true, I have experienced it myself. But the worst is, not when a stranger/ friend does this, but you family does it too
Needed this. Literally everything you have said hits home. I am literally in a bad space due to constantly being in a state of panic from trauma
Voice overs are cool... sorry u went through the trauma girl, I can relate.
I feel so seen, felt, and understood.
This video made me want to cry, it triggered me, but in a good way that I can recuperate from and learn from. Thank you shaniqua 💛
I love your videos. Great idea. Still haven’t broke away from my toxic family yet but I’ve been working on it for so long. Currently have physical and mental health issues. I can relate to everything your saying. I had to be hospitalized too not long ago, when you’ve been through so much trauma your whole life by friends family strangers coworkers it’s very hard in general..feels like a constant fighting battle. we got this. I’m sorry you went through what you did. I was anemic so I was bedridden too and now I’m trying to figure out these mystery physical health problems I’m still dealing with I agree it has to do with all the abuse it effects you in all ways eventually I had to stop making music because of it, I hope time heals us all
I am having similar issues . Had to move in with toxic family due to covid and now I am ill because of their mental abuse . Trying to just make videos daily and work on my online business. I fully understand.
@@SirenASMR_ sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you as I’m dealing with the frustrations too and mood swings. Let’s just stay calm and tap into our inner child. It’ll be alright. Appreciate your response
Doing the "voice" ones are fine with me as we still get to hear your wise words. Dont worry about any mistakes or things you forget that you have to come back to. Its shows your real. Xx
One way I’ve been helping myself day by day is when I catch myself overthinking or picking at every thought I catch myself in that moment! I believe it’s called rumination and I push myself to do what my mind is preventing me from doing. Even if I have to go numb I do the opposite of what my brain is telling me. I suffer from a lot of fatigue and always want to stay in bed but when I catch myself thinking about working out or errands I stop thinking and do it. It’s not easy but I am really trying to make a difference
Your channel is one of the best on TH-cam. When you talk and think about your haters you are feeding them. Continue to be you Queen!!!
New subbie 👑♥️
Glad I found you 💋💜
Binged ur videos
You look more beautiful 😍 and healthy ( as in happier healing state) in each new vid!!
Am in University and am finally moving out of my toxic , dysfunctional home next week a few days b4 I turn 20
Am 19 Saggitarius. Every time I come home from Uni I go insane it's a total mental break down emotional and physical abuse at the max.
Not anymore sis!!!💋💋💋
I even couldnt remember your channel's name to search for you. I just remembered you and didnt know to get you. Now you appeared and you mane me happy. I had a very narcissistic father who made my life a literal hell when I was a small boy. I really really hate narcissists. They are older brothers of the devil. Its a big punishment to be their son. Actually I dont accept he really my father. I wish I had no father.
Pathological envy. Wow. This contributes to distrust of people for me.This is an area I have to really acknowledge and work on. You are light🙏🏽🙏🏽
You are such a sparkling person and talented in articulating yourself. You are a great speaker with a sharp spirit!
I think I do have some kind of fear to fail.
I am undertaking, just bought another house but in the area of exploring my skills and develop through study or practising playing instruments I am blocked. At the same time the desire to sing and create art and music /songs remain... My desire to reach for more, new things keep knocking on my door.
Narcissists create an atmosphere where talents are not a natural river from the heart but linked to status and utter accomplishments.
In my family it was not about the heart or soul but about positions and comparing everyone with eachother.
You have a strong energy ⚡ .
Energy is life. Narcissists want to draw that source life at our costs.
Narcissists feel that life in and around you and want to thrive on your power.
They want to check on you to know what's going on bc you are in a constant change going up higher and higher.
They are like adapters.
Wow as you state you dim your light I have that same reluctance. Relatable.
Narcissists have criticized me severely which causes me to want to hide myself but at the other hand I feel like coming up.
Like the song: I'm coming up I want the world to know I'm gonna let it show
😊
They attack your identity.
Yes it's jealousy being projected and taken out on transparent, sensitive people.
My heart goes out to you because of what you have gone through and I wish nothing but the best for you. It is a good idea to get rid of the new age things in your life like tarot card reading because that is what is bringing you down. I know you have faith in God and that’s where you need to concentrate. Please look up Stephen Bancarz videos, where he speaks about New Age things it is very informative and I think you will be surprised.
No thanks but thanks for your concern
Well, it erased my comment so I'll try again. I'm so glad to see you because I always thought you are much better at this than some professionals whom I respect and follow, such as Jerry Wise and Todd Grande. These people are good, but it's almost as if being a professional requires them to be lifeless, dry, and a bit pompous. You're not. You're real and relatable because you are so much a regular person, but yet as gifted in talking about these topics as they are but in a relatable style. (If that makes sense.) When I first started watching your channel, I'm not kidding, I thought you were a licensed counselor!!
Once upon a time a high school friend of mine won Miss Virginia. She was almost a concert-level pianist. When she performed, she would apologize for mistakes she had made that no one else could even hear. You may be like that. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You have a great body of work here that is easy to learn from.
I'm so sorry you lost your baby and all this happened to you. When things were horrible in childhood and it keeps on happening it is so awful. I'm glad you are doing better and glad to see you again on this channel. Are you still engaged? I hope so. It's an awful thing when your *whole* world comes crashing down. Take care and so glad to see you back.
Such a beautiful comment ✝️💕
holy crap.. thank you for making this. I relate to you so much. This narcissistic abuse has really messed a lot of us up.
You're back!!! 🤭
I keep attracting toxic relationships into my life as well BUT I'm able to recognise it much sooner and safeguard myself against them. I don't have any close, healthy relationships at the moment but no one is depleting my life energy either. I understand your fear about people wanting to destroy you, I know that from experience (family & romantic partners). I guess what I want to say is that we learn to safeguard ourselves better naturally as we love & get to know ourselves better.
I am a middle aged woman who loves your channel. Your ability to express your feelings and knowledge is very impressive and helpful to me. I have had some hard experiences so listening to you explain what is going on with you in such a thoughtful way even while you are going through it is amazing. I 've watched many of your previous videos and they are great. I pray that you will recover from this emotionally and physically and the light comes back in your eyes!
Sorry for everything you have been through. Thanks for sharing. Have missed listening to you. Take care
As an Aquarius, I really have to work on my mental health the most when traumatic things happen for me, I live in my head 😩