You are absolutely right! You have no rights in a narcissistic family. They want you to stay in a subservient role. No one in my family is talking to me because I set up boundaries. I finally have love for myself!
I didn't learn about boundaries until I was in my mid 20's. My mother is a narcissist and a people pleaser, I grew up with a speech impediment and she never advocated for me so I too became a people pleaser to protect myself from being teased. :(
My sister would constantly go through my phone, and social media when I was younger just so she can go tattle tail on me to my mom. Once she moved out I blocked her on every social media, and made all my account private. She even went into my room when she thought I wasn’t there, and I caught her red handed and she said she was looking for a tampon in my closet... One day my mom told me she worked in my room since I had a desk, and when I walked in my password note book was flipped around. She went through it, and I let it rip on her and told her to leave me the fuck alone and mind her own business. She didn’t ever come into my room again. I changed all my passwords and she won’t ever get the chance again to invade MY PRIVACY. And she knows that I see her for what she is, so she no longer tries to tell on me. Unfortunately my brother is her new scape goat to tell on
HOLY CRAP!!! My mom martyred herself.... taking up my feelings.. telling me how I feel. and I end up coming to her.. to know how I feel.. cause I couldn't figure it out myself... cause she babied me too much, and also taught me to capitulate to other people's feelings. she made me a chameleon! I called her out for guilt tripping me before. but quickly forgot.. this is supremely fuhked up.
OH!!!!! I learned to people-please... from my co depentant mom... and never learned about boundries... learned to be "other focused" and my dad is a covert narcissist who was Emotionally distant. also, she has narc traits too. forces gifts and choices.
This is so on point! Seriously... And people pleasers naturally attract Narcs bc they see you as easy prey. People pleasing was learned as a way to cope and it becomes ingrained. It is a survival mechanism however in adulthood it becomes detrimental to your health and wellbeing. Bravo on this video. Narcs challenge this dysfunctional mechanism. Narcs will discount your boundaries maybe by saying something mean to you, and if you object they may say so and so doesn't mind meaning bc someone else is okay with it you should be too. Like "Beth" may not mind being cussed at but I am not okay with it, they will use that as a way to manipulate, or worse gaslight you by saying "o you are just too sensitive", "you take everything personally".
Oh honey. You just don’t know. My father was cold and my mother was openly homicidal toward toward me and put me in physical risk many times as a child and actually attacked me with a hammer as an adult and had to be physically restrained by my father. But he was not actually protecting me, he was protecting her from legal problems. For many years I felt like I was programmed like a computer to commit suicide. But I am doing well now at the age of 67 and am actually thriving now that they are gone. The last thing I said to my mother when she was on her death bed was “I love you, Mom.” But now that I am free, I still feel like I am being judged by the church because I have become a writer and have to promote myself in order to succeed. They treat me like I’m given over to pride and am narcissistic myself because my dream is to have my writings positively impact people worldwide and be remembered after I die.
I want my writings to become famous and to win the Pulitzer Prize for poetry and have already had a submission approved by the board for their consideration. Is this dream a narcissistic, ungodly dream? I feel like I cannot share my dreams with the people at church because they are conservative and believe that a woman’s place is in the nursery and kitchen.
I get what you're saying about boundaries,but let me tell you a little something. Short version: I used to live with my parents (my dad is narcissistic), but now I live with my grandma. Thing is,she and I are very different from each other (me being INFP,her being ESTJ),so I already get the concept of being respectful,but I never really get a chance to have a heart to heart with her. I want to fully explain what it is that makes us both tick,how our brains are wired, and how we perceive things and each other. But she just keeps her schedule going and going and going, and even when I THINK I have a chance to talk to her, she's either distracted from watching Netflix,busy on her laptop,out with friends/family/doing errands,or even already going to sleep. I currently can't speak (found out about my cashew allergy the hard way),but I noticed that she made a habit of NOT looking at her texts,so I can't even text her what I want to say.
You are absolutely right! You have no rights in a narcissistic family. They want you to stay in a subservient role. No one in my family is talking to me because I set up boundaries. I finally have love for myself!
Boundaries =loving yourself ❤️ thank you
You’re welcome
I didn't learn about boundaries until I was in my mid 20's. My mother is a narcissist and a people pleaser, I grew up with a speech impediment and she never advocated for me so I too became a people pleaser to protect myself from being teased. :(
And you're such an amazing person!
@@MegaDaphanie ❤
My sister would constantly go through my phone, and social media when I was younger just so she can go tattle tail on me to my mom. Once she moved out I blocked her on every social media, and made all my account private. She even went into my room when she thought I wasn’t there, and I caught her red handed and she said she was looking for a tampon in my closet... One day my mom told me she worked in my room since I had a desk, and when I walked in my password note book was flipped around. She went through it, and I let it rip on her and told her to leave me the fuck alone and mind her own business. She didn’t ever come into my room again. I changed all my passwords and she won’t ever get the chance again to invade MY PRIVACY. And she knows that I see her for what she is, so she no longer tries to tell on me. Unfortunately my brother is her new scape goat to tell on
HOLY CRAP!!!
My mom martyred herself.... taking up my feelings.. telling me how I feel. and I end up coming to her.. to know how I feel.. cause I couldn't figure it out myself...
cause she babied me too much, and also taught me to capitulate to other people's feelings. she made me a chameleon! I called her out for guilt tripping me before. but quickly forgot..
this is supremely fuhked up.
OH!!!!!
I learned to people-please... from my co depentant mom... and never learned about boundries...
learned to be "other focused"
and my dad is a covert narcissist who was Emotionally distant.
also, she has narc traits too.
forces gifts and choices.
Ditto 😢
This is so on point! Seriously... And people pleasers naturally attract Narcs bc they see you as easy prey. People pleasing was learned as a way to cope and it becomes ingrained. It is a survival mechanism however in adulthood it becomes detrimental to your health and wellbeing. Bravo on this video. Narcs challenge this dysfunctional mechanism. Narcs will discount your boundaries maybe by saying something mean to you, and if you object they may say so and so doesn't mind meaning bc someone else is okay with it you should be too. Like "Beth" may not mind being cussed at but I am not okay with it, they will use that as a way to manipulate, or worse gaslight you by saying "o you are just too sensitive", "you take everything personally".
Love this! I couldn’t help but laugh at your reference to “Beth” lol all jokes aside thanks for this!
Everything is so clear and well explained in this video. It Also helped me see that I’m moving in the right direction as far as healing goes. ✨
This One made so many light bulbs turn on in my thought system... thank you so much ❤
Wow you’re welcome❤️
@@discoveringthenarcissistic7666❤❤❤
I hate my life I hate my father I want too be free.
This is very validating Thank you very much
Oh honey. You just don’t know. My father was cold and my mother was openly homicidal toward toward me and put me in physical risk many times as a child and actually attacked me with a hammer as an adult and had to be physically restrained by my father. But he was not actually protecting me, he was protecting her from legal problems. For many years I felt like I was programmed like a computer to commit suicide. But I am doing well now at the age of 67 and am actually thriving now that they are gone. The last thing I said to my mother when she was on her death bed was “I love you, Mom.” But now that I am free, I still feel like I am being judged by the church because I have become a writer and have to promote myself in order to succeed. They treat me like I’m given over to pride and am narcissistic myself because my dream is to have my writings positively impact people worldwide and be remembered after I die.
I want my writings to become famous and to win the Pulitzer Prize for poetry and have already had a submission approved by the board for their consideration. Is this dream a narcissistic, ungodly dream? I feel like I cannot share my dreams with the people at church because they are conservative and believe that a woman’s place is in the nursery and kitchen.
Dear, find a different church. The Bible states only God should judge Congratulations on being free to be your own person. Keep up the good work.
Grandma Deb Thank you Grandma Deb. You are most kind.♥️
Yes it is more of a problem at this time of the year.
Awesome message❤⚘
Wow thank you
thanks for the great video once again
I get what you're saying about boundaries,but let me tell you a little something.
Short version:
I used to live with my parents (my dad is narcissistic), but now I live with my grandma. Thing is,she and I are very different from each other (me being INFP,her being ESTJ),so I already get the concept of being respectful,but I never really get a chance to have a heart to heart with her. I want to fully explain what it is that makes us both tick,how our brains are wired, and how we perceive things and each other. But she just keeps her schedule going and going and going, and even when I THINK I have a chance to talk to her, she's either distracted from watching Netflix,busy on her laptop,out with friends/family/doing errands,or even already going to sleep. I currently can't speak (found out about my cashew allergy the hard way),but I noticed that she made a habit of NOT looking at her texts,so I can't even text her what I want to say.