ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
- Nowadays, many teenagers feel that their parents are being too overprotective and suffocating. Helicopter parenting is a term used to describe how some parents pay extremely close attention to a child’s life, to the point of controlling many of the child’s experiences and knowledge. One may argue that doing this will allow the child to grow up safely. Yet, there are adverse consequences of not letting children experience life for themselves. Do you relate to this topic? Is your parent a helicopter parent?
Previous videos: Parents & Anxiety
• PARENTS AND ANXIETY
Written & Research by: Chau Nguyen
Animated by Intern: Celeste C.
Project managed by: Erin Bogo
Citations/References Go Here.
Ways To Support Us:
/ psych2gonow
Buy from our shop here:
www.introvertp...
Use the discount code: psych2go to get 10% off anything in the shop.
Sign up with our sponsored link for affordable online counselling:
betterhelp.com/...
betterhelp.com/...
Intro: Surey Camacho
Project Manager: Wendy Hu
Community Manager: Priscilla Cha, Nicole Pridemore
Producer: Psych2Go
Website: psych2go.net
Twitter: / psych2go
Facebook: / psych2go
Tumblr: psych2go.me
Patreon: / psych2gonow
Contact + editorial@psych2go.net
On our Tumblr, a follower asked about the effects of helicopter parenting. We recognize how important this topic could be because of the harm that a helicopter parent can cause, we decided to release this video a day early. Hope you find this video helpful and share it so that more awareness can be brought to the attention of bad or toxic types of parenting. But of course, there may or may not be right or wrong way of parenting, but we can agreed that some are more harmful than good on some level.
This video help me a lot
Can you guys please make a video about dimencia
How do you fix your parents mistakes?
Can you do a video on Ambiverts?
th-cam.com/video/mdd74Gjqogo/w-d-xo.html
Actually the situation is usually more complicated. If you even ever try to explain your parents that they are acting toxic, they won't understand and make you guilty for questioning their good intentions.
true 👍
Very true, just had this discussion with my mum and she flipped out
Same. They never listen, ever 😒
This is my situation too
I can relate
and my parents blame me because i can't make decisions...
Actually.
Same
Facts
same, i wish i had no iep (individulized program) in high school, so i couldn't make friends and be more independent, not this bullshit where i'm destined for misery and loneliness with no friends.
@@skoales3870 what happened 2 u?
"Talk to your helicopter parents about your frustrations."
The problem is when you try to speak but they always tell you:
We always know what's best.
Same , My step dad always say " it's because i love you and we care " no thanks it just making life worst to live
My parents don't even know what mental health is.
its imposible to argue/ talk to someone who doesn't believe they aren't doing anything wrong
Or when I try to defend myself or say ‘WHY’
*Because I’m the adult, and you’re the child. You live in my house- therefore you live by my rules*
Is ALWAYS the excuse
Exactly!!!
My overprotective parents actually taught me a pretty useful thing. They unintentionally taught me to lie perfectly lmao. Unfortunately, just recently I realized that out of 100% of what I tell them only 10-15% is true. Just afraid of telling them any true details of my life since 4th grade
You and i are the same.. I realise even with the most innocent things I'm honest with everyone else but them. That's because they literally made me like this because of how they scrutinise everything.
literally had the same experience. i turned into a pathological liar without realizing. i lied or denied information towards my parents instinctively for years because id barely ever feel safe being transparent with them. only realized how severe it actually is after a year being with my gf. i was compulsively lying or being too open towards everyone without realizing. thought this behaviour and the consequences were normal. ill try anything to change this, because my gf didnt have anything to do with and neither deserve this. she tries her best to make sure im feeling safe being open and just being myself.
@@PrescillaKgade exactly, there perfectly normal words i'm scared to say around them because they don't even know i know them. and it's the same with my younger sister, once we were with our aunt and she said something about bugs. my mom was also in the room then and told my aunt 'i don't think she knows what that is'. a 6 year-old not knowing what a bug is.
This is so fucking true. I forgot how to be completely truthful to my dad about anything, my first instinct is to lie and make him believe everything is fine.
Yep. Same here.
I bury my insecurity and loneliness with humor.
Same.
I cant
A shitty screen capture Channel I think that’s what I’ve been doing all along
Sameeee
Ah yes SANS
Yeah I may or may not of grown up in a family like this. I totally missed out on my high school experience due to how coddled I was
you aren't alone. Has the coddle stop?
Psych2Go yeah, once I hit collage she kinda just let me do my own thing. All throughout high school I was sheltered which really stinks because I missed out on a lot of fun stuff
Me too :( it has even continued into my adult life. I am not allowed to go out by myself, things I buy (with my own money) are monitered, and I am not even allowed to learn how to drive :( I even had to go to a community college close to home instead of a university I liked.
@Catherine EmuCatOwl if that is what it takes for you to move on, then do it. I hate that it has gone this far for you to live your own life, but it might not come around again. You can't grow if you're stuck somewhere :/
A jar of pickles totally me...i learned only a few skills and at a late time at that
I can't even defend myself from my parents and once I start convincing them to let me loose a little, they start manipulating me to thinking that I'm wrong. How can I stop them from suffocating me?
Tell them to go suck it cuz you are you...you are not your parents my parents are just like you so I tend to annoy them.Anyway, be yourself be free tell them that you are what you are
God wants you to ask him for help
I ask God for help all the time, and it is helping me so much
@@Christisrisen1324 Good for you, but that doesn't really work for me since I'm agnostic. And this comment was from a year ago and my relationship with my parents has improved since then, but thank you for the concern :)
@@joytotheuniverse how did u stop them from suffocating you..I need help
Haven't lived my teenage years to the fullest cause I was always sheltered and wasn't allowed to go anywhere. It's like they want you to do nothing but when you do nothing they get mad at you.
"It's like they want you to do nothing but when you do nothing they get mad at you." FOR REALLLLLLLLL
My mother thinks she knows everything.
my mother who couldnt find a job for over 10 years and now works for 200$ a month thinks she knows everything and she needs to decide what i do in life. and i have like 140 IQ or something like that, now imagine how i feel.
Night Sky same here and on top of that she thinks she's always right and when you're trying to prove her wrong she attacks you!
She does, all moms do /s
Same. It’s the worst 😒
@@bangtwitterandtwicetagram830 can I just say, Im in love with your username lmao
You just summarised my life in 5 minutes
What do I do now?
fight, be independent and grow
LyRi How? Mine are so involved what do i go
I mean, I guess you should just speak up and tell your parents that you want your freedom.
Easier said than done. I know that from experience. :/
AS Dawgs im so sorry im late, but i think you need to be truthful, show them the impact of being too dependent, let them know the reality of maturing, you will have to argue but youre doing the best choice which is the truth, have them empathize how they'd feel if they were controlled, win their trust that youre independent by proving so
You don't have to prove anything to your parents. I'd try to get to things before they do, give yourself chores and do them before they have the chance, and use that to refute them later if they say you can't do things on your own.
I grew up overprotected. Now I have zero social skills, I don't really know who I am friends with and I literally have no idea what I want in life. Everything has been "Too dangerous" and now that I'm an adult, I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm doing in life because everything has been done for me. Now I live a useless life filled with anxiety and depression. And for the most part I have almost literal hatred for my parents. Over protection creates a Man Child.
Because of this, if I ever do have a child, I feel like throwing them to the dogs with no sense of direction in life will hurt them shortly but make them invincible in the long run. They actually will get to experience danger and learn to strategize around it. Something I never was shown.
People who are overprotected have the easiest beginnings and the worst end.
People who had hardly any protection at all had the most difficult upbringings and the most inspiring ends.
@Hania Nayla people are always jealous of what others have. Yin yang man
you described my life lol
I think from the way you explain it you understand throwing your kids to the dogs SEEMS like the way, but isn’t. Just want to reiterate that. Having had a similar experience to you, I know what it’s like to be a hurt child and just need to advocate for your hypothetical kid.
The reality is kids who are thrown to the dogs and make it, probably are nigh invincible (but probably also have a lot of issues), but for every kid thrown to the dogs that makes it there’s probably a hundred that don’t.
There’s a middle way. I know you know this, but if you ever do have kids, aim for that. And know that I know your pain man. It’s ok
How are you doing now? I'm going through the same and fear that I will always be dependent and insecure
Also a helicopter parent just think because they're the parent, so theyre always right and should be self centre
Lmao my mom is so much up in my life. I love her, but it gets annoying. Even when I smile at my phone it's an instant "who are you texting?". I never had a social life either, my mom doesn't want me going to other of my peers homes, but also doesn't let me hang with them at our house then. It's really stunted my social life. I haven't hung out with anyone since last year.
Same here
Try longer than that man
My mom does the same thing when I'm talking to someone on the telephone. I'm 25
Same man.
Though, I stopped having social outings with people when I was in elementary school.
I don't understand why do they think it'll be helpful to our growth in the future?
Same.. Result is I'm 21 year old with zero social skill, zero friends. My mom used to come after me randomly to check on me when I was 18 year old, I mean it was so traumatic..
Like don't you trust your own son.. I get it you did care but I all I needed at that time was space... Now all I do is keep things in my head, imagine my self I'm living dream..
Sometimes this dread gets me and I cry for hours.. Idk I'm totally anonymous in youtube comment section that's why I'm confessing.. Otherwise i wouldn't even dare this to say Irl..
Tbh I already wrote 'su' letter.. Just in case of emergency who knows
I know someone whose mother literally controlls her entire life.
Her mom literally went with us to the cinema when we went all alone. She just won't leave her daughter alone.
That's horrible. Is this the only instance?
Sounds like my mother.
Psych2Go No, she barely lets her daughter go anywhere without herself going, too. I recall other two intimate events with friends and she went. And yes, my friend fits with what's said in this video.
Maybe try to talk to her mom about the problem?
Savanah Burnett lmao, she would answer "this is my child! What do you know best for her?" Or something like "you guys could bring/give bad influence to her"
My parents are like that, never let us do things w/o their premission / supervision. + For the bonus part after we reach 23/24 y.o. they said other young adult like you already did/got this and that, you do NOTHING. (After we did "mostly i guess" what they told, help at shop form junior high until NOW (25 & 26 y.o.) etc. )
* we're still working at their shop and get paid by live at their house, eat, they pay if we go to cinema etc.
Oh abt money? Almost none. What ive type is what we got.
How do you talk to your Helicopter parents when they refuse to acknowledge it? My parents are hardcore old fashioned Chinese and they don't believe in "depression" or "anxiety" in kids or me. And any kind of video they write off as "How can you believe it? It's on the internet."
I really want to have a good relationship with my parents but they're extreme Helicopter parents, and it's suffocating me.
Holy heck, this is like the first time I spoke on the internet and I'm overwhelmed with the amount of people replying. Thank you guys a ton.
The most I've learned to do is grit my teeth and endure it. I know it doesn't sound the best but my best friend told me good advice. Internalize it all and turn it into spiteful motivation. Once you're secure in your own life without the threat of being kicked out, talk to them. When you feel it turning into an argument, walk away. I hope this helps, I'm trying my best to follow it haha
Again, thank you all for sharing. It really helps to know there are other people out there unfortunately in the same situation. But we can help each other 👌
Feel u bro :(
I am in the same case
maybe get an adult to talk to them? like if ur school counselor or a teacher or a relative tells them then they might be more open to taking advice
Try talking to them. I agree with what everyone is saying! ☺ It won't work with me but it'll work with almost everyone! A talk will increase the awareness of how their parenting technique may affect you.
I made the mistake of talking to them once, like what Nutty Bee said, it ended up with them guilt tripping me and telling me I should be counting my blessings. It's a vicious cycle of them begging me to talk to them and when I do, it turns into a lecture and/or they use it against me in future interactions. I feel your frustration, it probably won't work with me either haha
I am 26, and I know that my parents have good intentions, but my adulthood has been a nightmare in regards to controlling and overprotective behavior from them. I struggle with extreme lack of confidence and sense of self. For so long, I have been afraid to do anything without their approval. I don't feel like I have any privacy with them, and I often am guilted/shamed into sharing every aspect of my life. This was a huge problem when I started dating (which I didn't even start until I was 23), because I was pressured into divulging how physically intimate I was with who I was dating (they were against it ((again, I was 23)) and wanted to control that choice of mine). I've just always felt intense pressure and judgement and shame from them regarding who I am talking to, friends with, or dating. Lots of skepticism. I am monitored and interrogated about my whereabouts. I started lying and hiding certain things because I couldn't stand it anymore. I feel awful about that though. I don't want to lie. I just want freedom of personal choice as an adult.
literally same. i just try to keep the communation at min. and live and grow with someone else. have your own best interest first.
Exactly then they say that i dont talk enough with them but when i do they only order me around on my mistakes otherwise there is nothing much else to talk about
I'm 19 and I don't even want to go out of my home because I'm scared of how they would react.
Remember that episode from malcom in the middle where malcom and Steve go out at night to play videogames and when they come back Steve's mom called the police, we'll they did that to me except I was 18, they have known my friend for like 6 years, they knew I was at her home and we didn't even left the house. I just made the terrible mistake of not answering phone calls for like an hour (we were playing videogames). That day was probably the worst in my my life, the police told me I was a bad daughter that I should be ashamed ,they asked a bunch of questions to my friend and her family. Now I even get anxiety if I'm 5 minutes late from college and have no idea of how to talk to boys.
I too have helicopter parents. I have a very low self esteem and social anxiety. Growing up I thought studies was my main priority in life because studying was what my parents always forced me to do. At times I felt guilty of doing anything outside of studying. I hardly knew how to have fun. My childhood was boring.
Luckily I came across some friends who taught me that there's more to life than just studies. Having fun with my friends brought me far greater joy than getting good grades.
You live only once people.
Everyone deserves to be happy.
Our mental health is very important.
My father is a helicopter parent.
He decides everything that goes on in my life
To make it worst, Im the youngest child, a female.
As a teenager, I never experience hanging out with friends like other peers, instead I stuck at home.
Now I'm a working adult, yet I dont feel like an 'adult'
Everything that stated in the video is spot on.
I cant even make eye contact when speaking with others, even girls.
I got scared of stangers on the street because he kept telling me to never trust others
He even decides from which way to start washing the car, if that gives you a clue
I finally broke down last month. He agreed to send me to the hospital.
I know he meant the best for me.
But I cant.
Having mental breakdown everyday is my limit
Im currently going through theraphy, counselling. You name it
When people asked me why you keep going to the hospital, I just say "I have mental health issue" nonchalantly.
They think Im just joking. But Im not.
The thing is mental health awareness is pretty much nonexistent in my country
Even feeling suicidal is frown upon in my religion.
'I need help'
Thats what I keep telling myself
To people out there who are similiar to me. Or even experiencing mental issue.
You need help
We all do
Dont back out
Dont ignore the clues
I hope you find the hope
Setsuna Rinn what religion would that be?
Hang in there my Dad would humiliate me......
@@markgable1280 any religion sees suicide as a sin but i assume she means islam. but like i said Christianity does too so
Themooncircles - oh ok.
@@rosa7026 most religions
I have a helicopter mother and a neglectful father, I understand why they are the way they are but I still can't help from feeling so much resentment toward them. I love them put they pretty much robbed me of a healthy early life. Now I suffer from chronic depression and social anxiety. I guess all we can do in the end is learn from their mistakes and try not commit the same ones with our own children in the future.
Fox Smith same here
I had a similar upbringing, with some abuse as well.
Maybe you should love your parents a bit less to help you love yourself a bit more.
But in any case your life is about you now, my advice is to not focus too much on the past, but just do things in the here and now that you want for yourself. Your chronic depression is likely a result from you not having a fulfilling life, and that is something you can work on yourself.
I think one thing this toxic combination of helicopter plus abusive parents instills is fear of failing and automatic negative thoughts. I find what helps is to just get out there, do things I'm afraid of, and accept that failure in the beginning is actually healthy and a great way of learning. There is also help out there, a good therapist can make a difference. Sadly there are plenty of useless therapists as well.
Anyway I wish you the best, know that you are not alone, and that you can overcome your situation!
Fox Smith get a job, save money as much as possible, and when you are financially secure and independent enough from your parents (make sure you're absolutely certain about this. especially financially), and over the age of 18, just pick up and leave without saying goodbye. One friend of mine did that. His parents never once gave him the smallest amount of freedom (except when he was at school and how he wasn't home schooled due to his helicopter parents is something I never figured out) and when he was there, he felt free in a way. Then one day he came to school saying he was going to hey a job and move out and not look back on his parents. Of course with high school kids you think it's just talk for the most part. However, in about 2 or 3 years, he saved up an incredible amount of money and when his parents were at work, he had 2 friends discreetly come over, pack his things, left a note and moved to his new home. To this day, he lives in a new location (he moved a few times after he moved out.) His parents still haven't heard so much as a peep from him. If you do this, never tell them where you are living no matter what. They'll try to use every guilt trip to possibly get you home. Also sometimes they may try to report you as missing to the police. If this does, go to the police and simply explain the situation. This is mainly to stop them from wasting valuable police resources on looking for someone who is alive and well and who just doesn't want to be bothered or found ( I don't think police are legally obligated to disclose the location of a person who does not want to be found providing they are over 18 and are not being held against their will in any way at all and are living comfortably)
Exactly we should do that. We should give our children the freedom they deserve.
Fox Smith Your profile pic gives me life!
My mom never let me out as a teen fearing i would smoke like my friends. im in my early 20s never had independence and now i have no direction in life. And she questions why arent i ahead in life like every normal young adult. I hate this life
Same here :(
FlowersIn Formaldehyde yeah it sucks. A lot of parents will try their best to shield you from the basics and important things in life, but are soo quick to kick you out of the house as soon as you turn 18. now you are grown, but still practically a kid with no real life lessons.
Heck. I didn’t even learn how to drive until I was friggin 20 years old
The worst thing is when they raised us like this and when we grow up they blame us for being shy, not ahead in life like every normal young adult... This sucks!! Parents like this destroy their child lives! I know for sure what you're talking about
I had a similar problem. God wants you to keep asking him for help.
I really wish my parents weren’t like this. I missed out on a lot as a teen and it shows in my now 20’s. I don’t understand anything about myself or most things. It’s a heavy thing to deal with.
Oh damn...I am starting to think my parents are helicopter parents because I mainly got most of these beside depression.
Bass Knight Word of advice get a college degree a job then leave don't delay don't do the same mistake I did u'll regret it 4 the rest of your life cause u'll get depression along with many other crap
Dodi the Tiger well it's starting to become too late for me!
Nick Herobrine003 God b with us both
same here
Who here has a helicopter parent? *Raises hand*
Jeremiah Sirius I have plane parents
When you found out your gf was pregnant It sucks!
Mac Tonite 0_0 *Hugs*
Jeremiah Sirius
Me
Not mine ( luckily). But sadly my friends
I feel like weeping, I never had a childhood. because I never enjoyed being a kid because I felt so depressed, neglected and ignored . I feel like my spirit has been stolen I was forced to adapt to my mothers and other families paranoia and most of the times I just stayed in my room, playing the PS or draw and just lived in my own world where I can be free in a different form.
Seriously, if you are an overprotective parent.. I hope you can live with the fact that your children will resent you. Deep inside they will, they never know what it’s like to be young and experience opportunities for a good life.
I don’t want relationships because I want to avoid having freedom altered or have someone call/ask me and ask where I’m at or where I’m going I become annoyed when ppl show the slightest concern towards me, wether if it’s justified or not. I want everyone who is controlling to stay away or I no longer want to talk to people who deny me something that within my rights. Simply because I don’t want to deal with anyone who display behaviour that is similar to my parents.
Let me tell you how helicopter parenting affected me..
1) I turned into an antisocial, introverted geek.
2) I got low self esteem ( as mentioned )
3) I lost interest in everything ( like hanging out with people of opposite gender can make you confident and mentally stable. But I'm an exception. My parents won't allow me to do that. I'm starting to hate everything)
4) leave about the opposite gender, I'm not even allowed to talk much with my buddies or go to their homes.
5) I get offended again and again, I cry when no ones monitoring me.
RIP MYSELF
Oh God, Same here
Described my life throughout high school perfectly.
@@nel100times9 I'm going through high-school right now and experiencing the same thing, may I ask for some advice?
@@d.akiehs x2, i need advise... But i am not studying HS, i am studying university.
THIS IS LITERALLY MY LIFE
Haha, so I'm basically gonna watch this video and realize all these 5 ways affect me.
Oh jeez... I used to have most of these. Luckily *used* to.
You're not alone. These 5 are quite common..
Same
What if they don't listen to you? I want to talk to them but I can't because they always shut me down and pretend my problems don't exist... it hurts to be honest
I know how my parents are and they will call me a dramatic kiddo I guess I have to live with it
🙇🏾♀️
I LOVE Psych2Go! But I have to disagree with the advice to talk to your parents about it. If your parents respected you as a separate human being, they would not engage in these behaviors in the first place. Addressing these issues directly can only create more emotional damage for you as they inevitable respond in toxic or potentially abusive ways. Rather than trying to change or improve your relationship, or their behavior, I would advise you to decide what your boundaries are and find ways to enforce them through actions, not words. And that enforcement usually requires us to accumulate resources, like financial independence and separate social circles. Easier said than done when they are preventing us from developing life skills, but we have to find a way.
This makes so much sense. I didn't develop a sense of independence until I was 25-26, and throughout childhood I both feared and hated my mother. I disliked myself even more. At 30 I still struggle with self-esteem & identity. I wish I had the guts to confront this sooner, I missed out on so much. Don't get stuck like I have.
I am in your same boat. I am 27 years old.
I tried to talk to my parents...I got a 10 minute lecture, an hours worth of yelling and 20 minutes of getting hit and running away...👍🏼
God wants you to keep asking him for help
Wait till you are 18 year old and then run! Go to social services for help. Don't wait for them to let you go
My mom helichopers to the extreme. It's gotten to the point that when I asked if I could get a part time job I was yelled at was told I'm trying to grow up too fast.
She hardly listens when I try to explain I need a therapist or a personal trainer to help get self confidence and a healthy weight. So I end up at all time lows
Don't listen to him, you should explain they are being helicopters and shout when needed
Same but with my dad ;-; he's also stereotypical and he won't let me cross the street on my own even though my brother can because he's a male. I can't be independent because im a female. So I have a stereotypical helicopter dad. This is why I'm so eager to move out at 18.
I know this was a year ago but Foxcutter’s advice has me dying; it’s so unreasonable. 😭
God wants you to keep asking him for help.
I almost got beaten up..when i burst out of tears in front of her....I told her that i need therapist..i feel overwhelmed and frustrated....she said "we are doing so much for u why wld u be frustrated" she said " stop being so dramatic" ..she slapt me on my face and yelled at me.. i still can't forget that scary face of her
This is literally the definition of the relationship between me and my parents, kinda scary how each and every single point is true...I didn’t know this kind of parenting was called helicopter parenting
Same
Percent I learn from my parents:1%
Percent I learn from life:99%
Exactly
My mom being a helicopter parent had me realize that I have a very limited understanding of the actual world. As I make my way into early adulthood, I try noting all the important things I've learned to help me survive- along with good memories, only to realize there was none. The things I learned were cleaning, being well-mannered, another language, studying to expand my brain, and staying consistent with school but that's it. And it's all because I had to do all of that myself since my mother would never clean or teach me how to do work properly yet would lash out if I slipped even once.
I can't even have my individuality without her telling me how to do things. She acts as if I don't have common knowledge, but most of what she knows I’ve realized long before she could lecture me. She and my family ask if I'm ready to be an adult when I never had the chance to live as a teen. I could've had my license at 16 like my cousins but instead, I go through the same loop staying inside of the house where my mom could keep an eye on me until my time comes to leave.
I'm going out into a world where I’ll be struggling out of my family’s indolence. It seemed impossible to even keep friendships or let alone hang at their houses unless they were close in the same neighborhood, but I could never go or have sleepovers. I didn't even have many friends for them to snoop around on, yet always they feel the need to manage my social life like I'm their pawn.
I never knew how to do the basic things, felt like I was walking in someone else’s shadow, and had been robbed from most of my upbringing. Despite it all, I'm not going to settle with this life for long. I'll make sure to learn all I can whilst getting my license, traveling without guidance, taking myself to health/dental appointments, getting glasses, and making new friends on my own before I'd give up. To anyone who suffered from the same type of parent- I wish the best for you because these kinds of parents do more harm than good despite their intentions.
I am so happy to hear how much resolve you had to create a different life for yourself. I did the same thing 15 years ago. I hope the last 2 years have been kind to you.
This spoke to me so much, I have one helicopter parents and one psychopathic (diagnosed) neglectful, and abusive one
Devin West im so sorry😟
PRINCESS :3 XxSARAHXx
Thanks, I'm in my senior year now so I'll be off to college soon, so luckily I'll be able to get out of the house
Devin West Cut contact with the helicopter and live on your own without your parents. Try to learn from new friends at college how to make your own decisions
I have the same story but my mom decided that she would rather me home so now I'm on my second gap year lol
I know right my guardians is so old fashioned
Can you please do a video about “Going back to school anxiety?” Like, how to stop panicking about it?
Sure! Sounds like a good time for that topic!
thanks cuz I've been stressing over it
Fuck, me too
Erika Rich I didn’t think of that but that video would be great and helpful
Just relax, everyone is feeling anxious and nervous... you’re not alone!! Millions of kids are feeling exactly what you’re feeling
not being able to make decisions is very problematic and damaging. this leads you to having intense anxiety, being overly cautious about everything, needing to learn everythinf you can about a situation and asking people for their reviews before you make a decision, not ever being satisfied with anything because of the uncertainty an fear of the unknown of what the other choice was.
Whenever I watch this I literally cry
🖤🖤🖤
This helps! I’m actually going through something similar at the moment. My parents are like this and everything that was mentioned in this video is true.
Wassup Its Nia Word of advice get a college degree a job then leave don't delay don't do the same mistake I did u'll regret it 4 the rest of your life
GeoMag36 432Hz My mom doesn't use the internet also I gave up on her a long time ago & she won't admit she's wrong
Same
Wassup Its Nia same
Finally, a male in the comments🤣 Sheesh. Needed someone to relate to. This is why I’m grateful I can get away with arguing with my dad💀
My parents blame ME for being the way I am now. Not knowing THEY were the ones who made me end up like this. They always say they try to be good parents.. but they didn't realize the were actually screwing me over. Now I'm in a world of trouble , just as all the ones stated in the video, from things THEY caused and I have to try and "fix" them. It's so twisted. Hopefully we make it out alive children of Helicopter parent/s, overcome and undo everything that has already be done
Im 22yo and my parents are making my life a living hell, worst part of it all is when i try to explain how their actions affects my mental health they laugh about it like its not a big deal, i wanna run away but i dont know where to go, none of my friends live alone and my country doesnt offer a special help for these situations.. im suffocating
A lot of asian kids might experience this
ducanhle Black (especially Nigerian & Caribbean) children as well
And Balkan kids as well...
Yes right here
Funny because I'm half Asian raised in a white family
ducanhle arab kids too
That's pretty accurate. The one thing I am really struggling with is doing simple stuff that is normal to other people, but thanks to that overprotectiveness I just didn't get the experience I needed. Paired with social anxiety, it can be even more catastrophic, since I end up doing everything while freaking out, thinking I am embarrassing myself. Also, I tend to ask my parents to make small decisions for me. And they complain about it, saying I should be more assertive. But I don't know how. And if it involves other people, it's even worse.
You're not alone. I feel you.
@Sandra Tun Omg I relate on a spiritual level. I'm 20, live at home, have no idea how to do my taxes, I can't even take the bus home from work a 9pm because it's dark, and I have no idea how to even look at getting my own place. My dad has made it his goal to keep me in the dark as possible so I can never move out because I have no idea how. And this is just the tip of the ice berg.
Omg, same, same, same
Wow same
That's exactly what my life looks life.
You're not in this alone but I know it seems like you are most of the time. This is old post do I hope that you're better. Stay safe hun
My parents taught me to be very obedient and only speak if it's necessary. They did almost everything for me because "I would screw it up anyway". They were so proud of how "mature" I was and how I followed their every word like a little robot. But now as an adult, it's hard to figure out how to do things without exact instructions.
I’m 26 years old and I’m still terrified of expressing my full self online (TH-cam, TikTok, and Instagram) because of the possibility of my parents’ backlashing on me. Even though they always told me growing up, “Don’t be afraid of being yourself.” 😔
"don't be afraid of being yourself". i heard this phrase countless times from my parents. i was myself. and guess what, they didn't accept that. i had to "build" a different self, a self to be around my parents. my dad told me once " your mother and i will support any career you choose, besides...". it's really terrible.
My parents went from being helicopter parents as a child to being somewhat negligent (too absorbed in work) to pay attention to me and the transition is kind of overwhelming.
I'm still cooped up and restricted since they're overprotective and too busy to take me places, but they don't pay attention to my mental or emotional state anymore.
Mine ethier
Holy shit. Wow. You just described my life perfectly and now I don't know what to do.
Heyit'smec ikr
yea and i'm 24 already so its not like i can change anything now. i have no desire to do anything, no goal in life, no career choices, depression and all the other stuff.
King Of Hell same
King Of Hell i think me u n icebby should meet up... I'm 25. In the same position.
How are you now?
My parents are very much helicopter parents and they have told me that any other kind of parenting is bad. I'm still in high school and have no interest in drugs, alcohol, or sex (I don't even have a girlfriend to have sex with) but I feel like every day of my life is wasted with me being stuck at home because my parents won't let me go anywhere. I can drive but I really only drive to school and back. I don't have a job yet but I'm scared to get one because I want to be independent but I am too scared because my parents crush any sense of independency as soon as they see it. I'm always wrong in their eyes and I can't get away from them. I can't go anywhere. I'm stuck in my house and my parents just put so much pressure on me that even in my not huge house I do what I can to avoid them. Above I mentioned that I don't have a girlfriend and I'm certain that's another affect that this has had on me. I view myself as less and undeserving. I'm too nervous of what my parents would think of her to ask any girl out. I know I can't go anywhere with her anyways. I don't know. They make me feel like I'm nothing and like I just need to stop living.
Babydaisylover Haha, I literally have the same situation as you. But, I had a boyfriend, who was taken away from me because he made a joke and then was deemed, “Bad” “Toxic” “Horrible” etc. etc. He’s the kindest person I know, and but hearing these things tore me down. I was so scared to go into a relationship with me because I was afraid my parents would take away him. They’ve taken away my best friend at one point too because “I was too close to her” and “she’s a bad influence”.
Pretty much everything you’ve listed is the same feelings as me.
Hopefully you get better.
Seems like y’all should get together
i just want a boyfriend, im so lonely
I'm always progressing so I'm not in the situation where I feel I'm wasting life, but I can get so depressed sometimes because of how I was raised and also childhood bullying.
I might just... "accidentally" leave my phone on, open on this video... in the lounge room with my parents, in hope that they watch it
i have submarine parents
You mean neglectful or emotionally unavailable parents?
You mean you feel like they are drowning you under their care?
I just have gold digger, manipulative, passive aggressive, shady, narcissistic and allower as parents.
You know what to do. Go on land!
are they as salty as the ocean?
Wow... just.. I can relate on almost everything. I have to ask my parents for almost everything. Friends, money, my sexual orientation, ANYTHING online, and it feels so constricting to my life and what I want to do. I've got anxiety, depression and try to get around any problems that my parents put towards through any loophole I can find. This is so relatable on so many levels.
I keep telling my parents that I have an extreme amount of stress because of them, and they told me "just snap out of it"
God wants you to keep asking him for help
@@name-eo1lv stop telling them anything personal and build other relationships who actually care about your feelings
-Hey y’all. To those who have parents who are controlling, abusive, neglectful, or anything of the sort, you are NOT alone!
-I believe that I have a controlling parent who tends to pick out what clothes I should wear (clothes that everyone else ends up liking but, NOT me), and restrict me for doing “certain” activities with friends because she thinks about my safety...In which I understand and all but, it’s very frustrating.
-So, I just NOW turned 17 and I am planning on “re-creating” those moments that I have missed out in my childhood nor teen-years with friends once I turn 18!
-I thank those who actually read this comment and I believe, NO, I know that soon, your time will come!!!
Same, I'm just waiting until I turn 18, I'm so close 🤞😔
@@almond3575 im 19, this year i turn 20 and im still being controlled...
I though that everything would change when i turned 18... But im still living like i was 12.
Hanging out with friends ??? I dont know what is that, bc my parents would be behind me even if i am with 1 or 10 friends, because the street is "dangerous", and to avoid embarrasing moments, i have never went out with friends, and this shit wont stop probably until i get married (i am a man) or until leave my parents home, i would say until i finish my carrer but that so surrealistic.
im 18 , and im still not allowed to go out and eat with my friend , they said it was "nonsense" but funny things is that my brother are allowed to do it
back when he was my age
"Talk to your parents and work out a solution"
That's a good one! My mom is extremely stubborn and arragont, I think she's a narcissist. There's nothing you can do to changer her mind, she's not normal.
It's sad, because sometimes this is just the way of the world. My parents grew up not being given enough attention, so they've given me so much attention that it's turned into Helicopter Parenting.
I want to be the one to break this chain in my faimly, if I ever have kids. I don't want them going down the road to a dangerous teenagehood, something I have been fearing of finding myself in for a very long time.
😇
I often struggle with anxiety due to heavy, unrealistic expectations.
This explains alot. However, anytime I confront my parents about anything, I get shamed for not knowing anything and that "Parents know best".
You hit the nail on the head with this one... Thank you. My parents were helicopter parents. It took them 10 years to back off after I moved out.
Glad it eventually worked out! Brave you made the mature decision to do that.
Psych2Go Thank you very much! It is very kind of you to write the comment. ❤❤
I’m 18, and in my country it’s age when you become adult. But my mother do not even let me on a sleepover with my friends. Even when it’s summer. Btw I graduated from school this year with all great grades and got into a university. What else should i do to make her let me do what i want, not what she wants.
P. S. Talking is not helping...
Anastasi Simakova are you going to be living at home during your university studies? Sometimes moving out of your parents house is the only thing that truly makes a change. :(
Anni E I wish I could but for now I just don’t have an opportunity😞
Anastasi Simakova threaten to report her, and tell her it's legal for you to do whatever you want and so you will
same, i'm also 18 and i graduated last year but my parents don't let me to move out because of university, they want me to live with them and i have to choose a college near us
Deyse Richter I think once they just have to realize that we are not children anymore. But it seems like it never happened... 😔
My parents are trying to control my life, making it seem without them I'm gonna fail. "You think without us you'll survive?"- my mom.
I never really realized how badly my parents were controlling me until I was a teenager. As a child,I was never allowed to do anything. Though it was mostly my fathers doing,my mom played a part as well. I’m 17 (almost 18) but I have no idea how to live my life and make decisions without my parents. I don’t even have my drivers license because I’m afraid to do things by myself. I don’t trust my own judgment. I can’t even get a job because I have such high anxiety about being on my own. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who I am,or what I want in life. I’m terrified that I’m going to be a failure because I have no idea how to live by myself. I’ve self harmed (I’ve been clean for a while now though) and thought about suicide sense I was 12. I can’t tell my parents about this,because they won’t accept me or understand. I’m lost
6: They occasionally “refuel mid-flight” in your presence. Damn Humvees.
Reappear?
Psych2Go Oh my sweet summer children.
Oof 😂😂
My mom is a helicopter parent (and I'm 18) so it makes life that much more frustrating especially since I live with her and she's still trying to control me
Fucking same
God wants you to keep asking him for help
@@bigdan7666 God wants you to keep asking him for help
@@Christisrisen1324 it doesn’t work Not everything is for prayer
Fucking same here. That’s why I’m enlisting in the armed forces so I don’t have to depend on my helicopter parents for college money
I’m 27, living at home, and my mom has been suffocating my whole life. She’s well-intentioned, but this doesn’t change the fact that I feel I’ll never be an adult. Even while traveling and living overseas, she would constantly call and message me, and make me feel like I’m being a bad child by not maintaining constant communication.
I’m really battling to get out of this smothering relationship. It’s so unhealthy. I can’t afford to move out so all I can do is try and work my out of this by making more money, another challenge.
Anyone go through this and have some suggestions on how to fix it?
Honestly I went through this most of my life as a female but I just left. You will never have enough money. You have to leave and go into survival mode. My freedom and sanity became more important than my comfort. I lived in my car for sometime and even stayed with some friends in a college dorm for a little and Jesus provided while I worked. When you go into survival mode you get the freedom to make your own decisions and develop as well as learn what you really need to spend money on. The struggle was worth my sanity and I overcame because of it and I can only tell because i would feel an overbearing presence when I speak to them on the phone but I’m not affected by it anymore but I can sense it.
@@ServantStatusMinistries Thank you for this. Two days ago I was at a friend's place and she lost her mind that I never told her where I was going. She only knew because I never answered my phone for an hour, panicked, and used the tracker in her car (that I was borrowing) to find out where I was. So the ultimate invasion of privacy.
It's hit now me now like a slap in the face that I can't stay at home.
I've been using the excuse of not being able to move out for a long time. It's reassuring to hear your story, and that you managed in spite of this.
It's also something I'm convinced has held me back in relationships. I've been with many women but have only had one medium term (1.5 year) relationship. Otherwise I've felt inadequate around a lot of women cos I'm living with parents.
Was this a thing for you as well?
Gustav Franke-Matthecka I’m so sorry I replied so late!!! Well something I have been learning about the invasion of privacy thing is that it’s a form of control. I want to warn you as a woman that by design you as men are supposed to lead because you are naturally more logical and when women lead most of the times women lead with emotion. Even if she is your friend and means no harm she has to subconsciously see you as a guy that needs nurturing (like a mother instinct) and so that’s why she was afraid of you not answering and tracking you down with her car. It’s not right but this is very common for mothers to do in treating their children when they are over protective and the father doesn’t tell them to lighten up and let the child grow. So in this case she does love you as a friend just not properly and to her it is love that she “invaded” your privacy but in reality that was toxic and not love because she didn’t respect you and thinks your inadequate. It took me awhile to realize this because I was so sheltered growing up but you don’t owe anyone an explanation for what or why you do things. You’re grown and a grown man. I mean unless you didn’t come back the next day and you were gone 48 hours without a call that would probably be the only time I would be worried but again you are a man roommate and not a woman. Two different worlds. In fact how your friend treated you may be something you grew up accustomed to when growing up with your mom which is why you allowed it. Please don’t beat yourself up. You are able to acknowledge the issue early and you were just raised around what you thought was normal so it’s not completely your fault. It only becomes your fault when you don’t make a change now and be like most “Peter Pan men” and blame their mothers and go MGTOW. But I don’t see you as that you seem very intelligent. Lately I have been watching a lot of videos helping me with learning about my past so the curse can stop with me since I am a woman and don’t want to be overprotective. I have moved across country and grew FAST in like 3 years but I feel and understand where you said “I’ve been using the excuse of not being able to move out for a long time.” Here is some things to reconsider to get out that mind frame: 1. If you hate where you are and don’t know the steps to get out you aren’t really using excuses. Growing up a tomboy I have seen guys struggle with just not wanting to grow up and stay lazy and play games all day and guys who felt guilt if they left because it’s natural for a man to care for his parents especially his mother until he is married. When married the wife becomes priority so in a way until marriage you still may feel an obligation to stay and care for your mom. IF your mom plays the victim or guilt trip card it’s worse because anytime you do something on your own she may make it seem like you are deserting her but don’t buy it. Whether she does it intentionally or not that’s emotional manipulation. You are a man so logically you must know that if you want to have your life and still care for your mom you must get out in order to be able to properly care for her and yourself in your own space. She doesn’t see that right now because she only wants to see you as a child to continue to have a purpose. There are a lot of women who don’t have their own identity and are defined by wife status or motherhood. So this could be another reason she is holding on too tight. Like my mom, she may not know how to function on her own as an adult without mother status. 2. Like before I don’t think you are making excuses because you are looking for change and I hate that as guys you guys don’t have many ways to vent about these things to another so you can always message me. But don’t blame yourself. You may be “inadequate” as a man but only due to lack of instructions and understanding from a good male role model BUT you aren’t incapable. I do greatly applaud you for recognizing this and not wasting other women’s time because whether you know it or not most men compartmentalize their issues and never care to confront them at least you are wanting to do something. I’ve learn comfort creates complacency’s day complacency kills. After awhile our brain normalizes our living situation as a defense mechanism when we haven’t left the nest and our parents make it seem like it’s okay. Anything in your life that is worth having is worth fighting for to get and fighting for to keep. So even if you may leave your parents house later than others I believe you will appreciate adulthood more and be so much more disciplined and more responsible than your peers at your age because once you do cut the string (And I know you will) you won’t look for handouts from people and won’t think to go back to your parents for help so easily like many people our age. I’ve noticed this when I left the house and didn’t look back. Yes it has affected long terms commitments with women BUT also at our age most women are either out clubbing and would’ve been heartache, are focused on their goals and career before thinking about motherhood and wifehood (because once we marry you become the the center of attention in a good way and it’s hard to juggle multiple goals at first), are still trying to figure themselves out (hopefully they aren’t listening to feminists), or are also working out issues from their childhood and are trying to leave that independent stage to interdependence. The last one is important because in my early 20s I was with my fiancé but he was too focused on partying and I was more focused on trying to play house while teaching myself how to be independent from my parents. That’s a bad recipe because parents hold on to us women harder and make us feel inadequate the last thing we need is a guy telling us what to do making before we know what we are capable of. So by mid to late 20s I became more interdependent with others because I knew my faults and what I was capable of and was okay with sharing and be complimentary to a guy. See you may have dodged all of that nonsense so don’t feel bad. I’m sure you want a strong and reliable woman to depend on and if you were still with your parents you will attract the type of shark women that are power whores and want you to be codependent on them. See even when you do leave home you still should be alone for awhile so you can be alone but not feel lonely otherwise you would end up like some guys who marry their mothers and marry right back in the same thing they were trying to leave from home. But either way until you leave the house start working on placing personal boundaries for yourself and work on saying the word NO. That and other women don’t need to know your living situation. Shoot I dated a guy who had his own place and I had mine and I dated him for 2 years. The first 6 months I had no idea where he lived and that was perfectly fine with me. It was smart of him because some women are crazy and show up at your place when you broke up with them. So until you leave your parents other women don’t have to know where you live. PS I just realized that your mom invaded your privacy and not your female friend I’m apologize for that confusion. Some things that helped with moving out faster with little to no money: Craigslist (multiple roommates.... at 27 it may drive you crazy but it’s a step), Make extra money on the side doing door dash or uber if a second job isn’t easy or able to get right now you can save up and buy a used cheap van (there’s many TH-cam videos of people doing the van life living out the car, vans, tents you name it.) or just save to lease an RV and make payments if getting an apartment is too difficult. You can get a loan for an RV where you have to have three months rent and monthly income for an apartment... so many are getting RV’s or buying$2,000 trucks and hitching them to their half rv homes in the truck bed. again Craigslist and Facebook marketplace is your friend. So many give these things away for cheap now.
Gustav Franke-Matthecka another idea is find jobs in another state that’s hiring and would pay good. Jobs like construction or warehouse will hire on the spot, if you save enough before you leave and if you move somewhere where rent is $400-700 you can plan on how long you can live in air bnbs until your first couple of paychecks or whenever you want to move into an apartment. Many places you can live in a bnb for $14-25 a day. Make sure the area has public transit trains and buses to get you from home to work. Just another idea.
@@ServantStatusMinistries thanks for all the advice. Nice to hear someone that understands the situation so well. I'm definitely ready to move out, just waiting for this ridiculous lockdown to end (I live in South Africa and it's been ridiculous how much rights have been taken from citizens). I know it's similar in the US and other parts. I think my biggest fear is loneliness when I move out, so I'll probably rent a house share or something to have other people around me.
This is my life at the moment. I fight and fight against the overprotectiveness of my parents, and it has affected me more than ever now that I am currently 24 years old. It also doesn't help that most of the people around me don't understand what it is that I go through, and their way of controlling me throughout all these years has seriously cost me several relationships and opportunities... I truly despise the way I was brought up- it if wasn't for them, I could've been a far better and self sufficient person... Now I have to take control of the situation and get out of it as soon as possible.
Oh god this is shitty watching it’s exactly how I feel
I don’t trust my decisions and I’m unsure of if I’m right or not always feeling the need for a second opinion on so many things
I recently turned 18 and I’m incredibly scared for my future since the amount of worry I feel over everything is scary and I try to talk to my mom specifically since she guilts me whenever I hang out with friends but she just says I’m sassing her instead
God wants you to keep asking him for help
@@Christisrisen1324 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠
"talk to your helicopter parent"
well, they don't even wanted to listen to my perspective.
I tried to explain I struggle a bit with self esteem now (21 years old) and she could not understand at all that this is why. She hit me with the "I'm just so baffled YOU could struggle with self esteem, after all the love and support I've given you..."
I can’t even make my own DECISIONS without being told that I’m not old enough to when I actually am old enough!!!
Sydney Lorelei Official freaking same! I just said fuck it and moved out. Listen to your guy fam that’s all I can say .
For me its that they criticize my decisions when i finally do things by my own. Like i started working (i couldnt even work cause of my anxiety it took me tons if time to finallu do that and theu always criticize me that i will never do something with mu life )and i earn money and spend it quickly and then they overreact and again,criticize me and talk down on me cause i like ordering things online and they are like "is that what u r spending yr money on??" Its make me feel a little bit better. Cause i have depression.and they tell me to save money for the future cause i can end up homeless(u will think its a good parenting but,i dont want to go to the university and i also spend my money on self care )so u talk down on me for not working and then when i finally find a job u talk down on my for spending MY MONEY?!??
THIS I CAN RELATE TO SO BAD! They always say I am too young! even when I'm at an appropriate age it's always the same freaking answer!
This is one of the reasons I am so depressed.
I literally want to send this video to my parents
“You guys treat me like I’m 5, I’m the only one not allowed to do this!”
“Well if everyone is jumping off a bridge, are you going to?”
“Yes, because you’re ruining my life”
LOL!!!
Every time
I'm 17 and it's annoying
I'm treated like 5. I'm not depressed about it but it tics me off that my mom is bothered with me walking around with a phone even in the bathroom (literally everyone today) she complains about over everything.
I remember not being allowed to go out during the week for like a playdate or later on to just hang out with friends even if I have nothing to study for. Then when I went to university (still live at home because I live in a big city with good universities) she got mad at me because I never went out during the weekdays because when she literally beat me into submission that not going out became normal to me
u don’t understand how safe and comforted i feel knowing others are in this with me
Everytime my parent suffocate me I just throw tantrum, I would even throw glass and break everything else. They gave up on me. Moved out of town and start learning the real world without nonsense boundaries. Now I get my freedom and my parents see how my independent life has affected me positively. Hell is full of good meanings, but heaven is full of good works
You're so great....I got goosbumps while reading yor comment..so happy for u
Helicopter parent: "I have to protect my child because the world is a scary place and they wouldn't know how to deal with it".
Me: "Yea....and whose fault is that?"
Period
... thanks to you guys, I found out my parents are narcissistic helicopter parents and I'm 22. Will I be able to be independent and by myself as I'm with them even now... I want to be independent but they keep telling me that I need to learn by myself and I talked to them but they don't listen to me. I'm just the ADHD bipolar child to them that needs to be babied her entire life. How can I get them to stop and listen to me, how can I get them to just... Give me freedom and love like normal parents are supposed to do?
Helicopter parents need a good slap. My father partly fits this, mainly because he never allowed my brother and I to have life skills in a way or us be independent. He was divorced from our mother and didn't want to get married again and rather spend time with his children (commendable in a way) and what life skills we wanted to learn, it *had* to be done his way or no go (my brother and I think that he severely feared us having independence from him and would become livid in some way if we tried some life skill on our own). He even would guilt me (this was about the time when my brother moved to live with our mother and I stayed as well my brother and I were not on good terms) saying "all kids want their parents spending time with them, even as adults" or something like that. He'd even say something like I am abandoning him if I went to live with my mother. He was controlling in the sense of how much time I spent visiting her as he refused to go out an do his own thing or make new friends, and even tried engrain into my head that the "divorce custody agreement says you visit each weekend"(I was around 21 at that point had no job and wanted to spend my time evenly with both parents). When I confronted him regarding that the divorce was only applicable for kids until a certain age, he just stared at me for a few seconds before saying "you are accustomed to going on weekends, stick to it" or something like that. I stuck with my father for about 3 more years until I couldn't handle it, and in mid October I just packed my things and left and never looked back, and I am much happier now :)
I can't even choose what clothes I want, it makes me feel so sad I can't do anything on my own.
Because your parents don't want you dressing like a jack ass.
Okay but how do you heal from this? How do you overcome the severe anxiety of doing things urself, how do u become independent? does anyone have tips bc i can’t live this way anymore
im 23 and still not allowed to take my own decisions..fights always happen when i try to talk
You and me both I am currently the age when you typed this 😭😔💀
Can you do 5 ways to get rid of your fears
What fears do you have? Your parents?
Psych2Go
1. Fear of holes
2. Fear of old stuff
3. Fear of the dark
So relatable, after dealing with that 'rebelious teen' phase, now i struggle with depression and have a very very low self esteem
Same..i wasnt a rebelious teen in the meaning of doing drugs and alcohol but ,i did yelled at them (like anger tantrums) because they are very criticizing. I couldnt do drugs and go out with shady ppl cause of my social anxiety and lack of friends.but it was extremly hard as a teen .
When I was younger I depended on my parents for my clothes. I wouldn’t tell them the things that I liked in fear of them telling me it doesn’t look good. Anytime they got me anything that I didn’t like, I wouldn’t voice the frustration.
100% accurate. My parents excuse was “you just want to do it because your friends are doing it (like getting drivers license or going to prom)
As a child and now as an adult I’m constantly living in a fantasy world. I’m constantly day dreaming about my life in certain situations where I was the popular or rich person etc. I was the one everyone wanted to be. I’d read a book or watch a movie and put myself in there and play out the scene. I’m afraid to travel to far from home because I fear I won’t be able to get back even though I have a phone and GPS. Adulthood sucks for me.
Same….
My whole life is ruined, I seriously don't know how to talk to people or how to act in public, I can't take critical decisions on my own, I can't differentiate between good and bad friends, I cant decide who I want to be, I just have a degree, I cant constantly concentrate on gaining knowledge, I'm always stressed, confused, depressed, anxious at any given time. I don't know how to handle situations on my own, Guys I'm crying from bottom of my heart, I'm 24, jobless, I don't have clear logical thinking which is required for my career. I feel suffocated under my own skin. Guys please help me out. I don't understand how to live this life, I dont want my mom and dad to take crucial decisions of my life, I don't want them to control me in every situation, I just cant solve my problems on my own, From childhood I'm always lost in thoughts of life, and had make some wrong friends along and not regret my life in every way, I have many suicidal thoughts but cant act on it, because of my religion. My religion ofcourse has solution to every problem, it is just that it is tough to implement them in real life. I'm stuck in a black box, cant get out of it, cant see anything, confused where I'm, and more importantly depressed for 24 years of my life.
how it affected me
1- PTSD
2- fear of my parents hurting the friends they dont like
3- cant talk about things over fear of being locked up again
4- wishing i could escape this life
5- wanting to cry but ran out of tears
6- guilt after eating
7- rage
8- self h@rm
9- psych wards
10- protecting my friends at all costs
11- no boundaries like the bursting in at random times/ no privacy (cameras in my room)/ doing things physically i can do on my own
…yes- 2nd, 10th one hits hard. My mom shamed my real friend that was there for me even durijg the times EVERYONE else left, replaced or ditched me… and sided with my FAKE and traitor friends….. it’s so sad-
@@OceanicPearlz1 im so sorry
This is my whole childhood in a nutshell! Unfortunately, my parents are still like this and I'm already 21. I applied for a review class for LSAT earlier this month and my mom legit barged into the room and talked to people to make sure I had friends ( I wanted die of embarrassment). I even have to consult them about where I should work because they won't let me out if it's out of the area we're living in. I didn't know how to cross the road or ride a bus until college. I had to teach myself practical skills 'cause my parents didn't permit me to do basic chores as a kid. I can't bring myself to hate them but it's killing me. One of these days I'll probably shoot myself out of frustration because no matter how I try to explain or even prove to them what I can do, they won't ever take me seriously.
PS I HATE how people around me are normalizing it like "Your parents just deeply care about you" NO B!TCH, THEY'RE PREVENTING ME FROM FUNCTIONING LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING!
This is the story of my life. I can’t wait to be on my own so I can finally be happy
Same
Same I feel like I'm trapped in prison for the next few years of my life :/
The first point makes sense as to why I'm afraid of making mistakes even though they are a normal part of life and we can't control outcomes. Yup I experience all of these, except I think I can identify good and bad company.
When you can relate to every point on this. I am 20 years old and resent my parents more than i ever did.
I feel a strong need to be alone and independent, because my mother was overprotective most of my life, but at the same time I am unable to make difficult decisions and feel the urge to "ask my mom about it". She only now started to "throw me into an adult life" and gets irritated when I express my anxiety as if it was my fault I'm not used to taking care of "real life issues".
I have a mother who is a helicopter parent. I didn't realize it until I was a senior in high school. So much of this fits me, its sad. I once considered my mom my best friend since I didn't realize how unhealthy the way she treated me was. And now I don't.
I turn 20 in a week. I just found this video and can’t even explain how crazy to see how it characterizes me as a person and my relationship with my parents. I wish I had found this sooner.
I’ve battled depression for many years, due in part to my mother. I told her that she is the reason, and she shrugged it off and told me she wasn’t. She’s toxic.
My parents get mad if I do something by myself but get mad at me for not being independent
There’s a difference between overprotective parents and controlling parents.
Its usually goes hand in hand.cause an overprotective parent will try to control your life in order for you not to get hurt
HA! My parents are both 💀
It's both at the same time
Talking to my parents is like talking to a brick wall
Sometimes it’s not possible to communicate with your parents. My mother ends up getting angry and saying “so it’s ALL MY FAULT you’re unhappy! I raised you, fed you, gave you everything. Now you blame me for all your problems.” Then I feel guilty and just end the conversation.
Same
All these videos is like watching my childhood unfold
Trauma + trauma from helicopter parents = burnout at 19.