Am I Disabled? | Owning Crohn's disease | Invisible Disability in the Workplace
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มิ.ย. 2024
- Getting to a place in my life where I was comfortable owning my disability took a minute. It still surprises me the ingrained bias towards disabilities that I was carrying until I had to fight that dissonance within myself.
Being disabled isn't a walk in the park but it can be especially scary if you have an invisible disability. Mostly because we never know the terrain. Will we have people who ask rude and invasive questions? Or will self awareness and mutual respect win the day?
Getting to a place of acceptance has brought me peace. I'm grateful to have access to an accommodation plan and protections for my job should I have a flare.
Join me this week and every week on the rocky road of adulting with a disability.
#crohnsdisease #disabilitypride #invisibledisability #chronicillnesslife
Soundtrack (Epidemic Sound):
Fall into Place - Daxton, Wai feat. Andrew Shubin
Chapters:
00:00 - Am I Disabled?
00:41 - Invisible but Ever Present
01:30 - Disability Ownership
02:38 - Filter or Bust
03:38 - Weakness...naw bruh
04:40 - Eyebrow IYKYK
05:30 - Ambulance
06:02 - Mindset Shift
07:01 - Negarive Bias
08:01 - Barriers
09:20 - Brylee Break
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Good causes:
Crohn's & Colitis Foundation
www.crohnscolitisfoundation.org/
Equality Federation:
www.equalityfederation.org/
It Gets Better:
itgetsbetter.org/
Gill Foundation:
gillfoundation.org/
The Trevor Project:
www.thetrevorproject.org/
National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network:
www.nqttcn.com/
GLSEN:
www.glsen.org/
Black Lives Matter:
blacklivesmatter.com/
The Conscious Kid:
www.theconsciouskid.org/
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barrettlaurie.com/
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I think the "You don't look disabled." is the most invalidating thing but I find myself always responding, "I'm having a good day today."
I love this response. I’m pinning it! “I’m having a good day today is a vibe!”
If non-disable peeps were as resilience, understanding, and badass humans as disable people this world would be so much better.
I love you Esther. 💜❤️💜
Another profession: nursing. My BFF had to give up 12 hour shifts. Then she went to 8 hour days, but when she's in a flare, like now, she is miserable, sick, barely able to move, unable to eat, and this time, she actually quit her last form of nursing. Home care. She was down to one patient, once a week. She just told me a few days ago that she had quit that job. {{{{hugs}}}}}
Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. 💜
Big hugs Regina. And love for the fur babies. 💜
Speaking facts! Agree 100%! My mom has had to go through this with her many disabilities. All disabilities do not have a face but those with them do have a face, people need to recall that.
You’re so right. I’m excited for your mom’s content. All too often, we have tell way more about ourselves or our disabilities than we want to.
I have to admit until it was me fielding icky questions, I don’t think I noticed the depths of my own negative bias.
Lot of work I needed to do. 💜
The whole you don't look disabled, had that even in chair and on oxygen 😅 Love that you've managed to find acceptance and grown from that. Adore these vlogs! ❤
That is wild, but makes me feel much better. Means that those biases are deeper than I even imagined.
This sort of change happens slowly, generating by generation.
💜❤️💜
I'm navigating this acceptance thing too, and working on feeling comfortable saying, yea I'm disabled too. Coz I wasn't always. And that's hard to deal with. When it comes to people who knew me 15 years ago, or longer. Or the ghosts in my head looking at me accusingly like *YOU FAILED* (implied *you didn't try hard enough to recover/stay healthy, it's your fault*) And when it isn't said openly, out loud, it's difficult to stand up for your self verbally. The words are just hanging in the air, you made the wrong choices in life, you didn't do enough. We know better what you should have done....
And I haven't worked out how to shut them up, and not feel like I have to justify myself to them, over and over.
Oh my gosh. All of this. I relate SO hard to this vibe! This energy. These feelings. Thank you for putting into words what I have been struggling to say/express.
I know it’s all bunk. I know, I’m sure like you do, that I didn’t do anything to land on the cool side of the disability spectrum, but that hasn’t made the acceptance journey any easier.
Thank you for saying this. I appreciate it and this sentiment, more than you know. 💜❤️💜
Love this! Invisible disability is still disability! Disability isn’t inherently negative, it’s society and abelism that makes disability negative.
I couldn’t/didn’t work when my disease wasn’t in remission so I’ve never actually sought out accommodations for it. But the job I have now is a lot more flexible and chronic illness friendly when/if my disease ever decides to pop up and say hey I’m gonna set your bowels on fire😅
Fun fact: I got cussed out by my cousin for saying I’m disabled. I don’t talk to that one anymore lol.
All of this comment is the energy!
Whaaaaa!! Sometime in the future I think I wanna hear the cousin story.
I wouldn’t talk to them either. Boo.
I had a guy at my last job ask me when I mentioned Crohn’s being a disability, “like you get a parking pass for the restroom.”
I wanted to 💩 in his shoes. 😂💯
You have the most perfect ears I've ever seen....they don't stick out at all... they're just perfectly lovely
Thank you. I give my parents credit! 💜
I love this video so much! You know it took me so long to be okay with saying "I'm disabled" and it is because of the stigma society sometimes places on you once you say that. I didn't want to have to admit that I was in that box and that I was now limited. I wanted to believe I could do the things I had once been able to do with no problem but can't now because of the RA and the chronic pain issues. Had I had something like this to watch a long time ago maybe I would've gotten out of my head about it a lot sooner than I did. But you know what they say, better late than never. Thank you for being the voice that so many of us needs to hear and sharing your journey with us! Love you friend! ❤❤
Love you friend. I am surprised by how hard it has been to come to terms with this. I was very shocked by that part of it. Thank you for sharing this. It seems this may be more common than not! 💜💜
I get the whole “you don’t look like you have that” and then if my husband who is a double amputee uses electricity scooter In the store or uses the handicap parking spot and he happens to be wearing long pants he gets questioned sometimes too.
All that to say, I think my kids experience with our disabilities in the family has helped them be more accepting of other people’s different behaviors and abilities.
I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts in this video.
Your kids are so lucky to have you both. Not only because of the life you’ve built for them, but also because through your experience you’re showing them the power of empathy. Love that.
I have your latest vlog in my to be watched this weekend! I can’t wait! 💜
@@BarrettLaurie thank you for saying that! I really do appreciate it! 💕 it’s been a crazy few days of life Anne travel, which of course I didn’t vlog cause it wasn’t interesting, but I think you will enjoy the eclipse vlog
And you are resilient. And I loved this video so much. You know me, I don't comment much, if ever because life sometimes gets in the way, but I understand. I love you friend. We're exactly who we are, and we do a damn good job of it.
Nick, after a very long work week, this brightened both my day and my week. 💜💯
Yeah, a grief process to admitting a certain vision of life will have to change. You're well set to make the new vision pretty spectacular, though, friend 🌈🦄💜💙❤
That is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks friend. 💜🦄💯
Man, that hit home. I think I needed to hear that too, coz I'm crying 🐾
💕@@catpawrosales4265
Same, it’s crazy
Hang in there. Owning the disability and letting go of the preconceived notions we had about disability is wild. But it feels good to come out the other side. 💜
Well HeLLLOOOooooo there, BEACON OF HOPE 🗼
I have to talk to my writers about getting a little ahead of themselves.
Oh that’s right, I am the writers. I will be firing me promptly! 🤣
@@BarrettLaurie it’s called foreshadowing!!!
@@MargaretPinard sounds like a writing thing I should buy a class on! 🫣😜💯
Were any eyebrows harmed during the making of this video?
😂
Let’s hope so. Those were wild and out of control.
🤣😂😅 Best comment of the night. Perfect!
🤣
😂
If it is affecting your daily life its a disability. Your crohns is affecting your life Barrett. Disabilites aren't often visably seen most are internal and it doesn't discount an indivual whether is visable physically or not. Just because you and I don't share the exact disabilty doesn't make you less in your own health dilemma. I know this isn't easy to come to terms with. Even as someone whose lived their whole life as disabled woman. I can say it's taken a lot of internal work since childhood to come to terms that this is what it is and I have to figure it out and adapt to what I'm given.
The best advice I can give you and anyone else watching this. That acceptance starts from within..First!. It has never been and never will be an external validation from someone else. In time those who are around you the most will get used to the new. But it has to start with the person that is being dealt this disabilty. You have to be willing to look at yourself in a mirror and say Ok I'm disabled and I'm fine with it. I can handle this no matter how frustratingly hard or how much I want to sit a bawl about it. Will I have to sometimes ask for help...yes.. it happens. But so do those folks who are able. Just get up and get it done and keep going! If anything it teaches you internal patience and how to out think quickly any situation you're dealt at any moment. ( Also it doesn't have to put you at complete stop in life. it's all bout just adapting)
I also encourage you to keep thinking out loud. Who knows who else watching may be in the same boat and could help when you need some questions answered.
This is so true. I wish I had more time to come to terms. I think the internalized bias was what surprised me the most. I just didn’t know it was inside me. But there it was. 💜
This is so lovely. I’m going to copy this and put it somewhere I can see it every day.
Such a positive message. 💜
Thank you. Thats exactly it. I’m going through this live because I know I’m not alone.
This was an interesting conversation and important to have as I feel it helps society start to better understand “hidden disabilities” with less of the prejudice that exists. Do you feel there’s been progress since your diagnosis? I think even the terms “disabled”, “handicapped” or “less able” are inherently loaded with negativity. Maybe you struggled embracing that because it meant admitting you’re “lesser”?
Also you’ve gotta look at the perks where they are, like being able to park in those juicy parking spots… 😂
I feel this statement is tone deaf after having re reading this three times.
Yes, Richard that internal self talk was what was stopping from being comfortable saying the words. And unless they give a parking pass for bathrooms, which would be awesome, I’m out of luck.
Yes, tone deaf for sure. But knowing Richard it is likely for humour’s sake. A friend attempting to cheer me up with some across the pond humour.
I’m sorry if this comment hit you wrong. I assure you it was meant to poke fun at my circumstance (coming to terms with my new normal) and not the reality (disability). 💜❤️💜
If you think your university finance job is tough, you’ve clearly never run a furniture store before… 😜
lol…Richard, that was for the birds. I hear writing is a tough gig, unless you have thousands of readers on an email list who email one another! 💜😜