A Better explaination of “be yourself” Is “have conversations for your enjoyment, if you don’t enjoy a conversation then you don’t have any obligation to continue it”
Aka Be confident, but not cocky. Be real, but not cynical. If I feel like going to a party dressed like a geek but talking like I work construction bet on that cause I brought a damn 30 with me and that's all the "self-promoting" required, like mission accomplished the jobs already done.
A summary of all the points 1. You can't be cool with everyone 2. Force yourself to talk to people 3. Let your personality shine (be yourself) 4. Don't treat it as an interview 5. Don't overthink it
The problem i face as a teenager nowadays is that even when i try to go up to people and start a conversation, they barely reply or reply with one or two words. People my age kinda try to seem cool and mysterious which is holding both them and me back.
@@yussefftalal1435 Exactly, sometimes you have to be persistent to get people to come out of their own shell. It’s a difficult balance to strike because you don’t want to annoy people who genuinely just don’t vibe with you, but you’d be surprised how many people do vibe with you but they freeze up when you talk because they’re dealing with their own anxiety.
@@nuh-uhbro765 thisss. I met a girl who was really quiet, and she seemed like she had social anxiety, and as someone who struggled with it a lot, I understand her, and her struggles to properly communicate with me, I don't immediately assume that she doesn't like me just because she doesn't talk too much to me, or because she's mostly quiet all the time when my other friends are around, i know that many people have their own struggles, and it just takes some time for people to feel comfortable around you
@@melonenjoyer It’s good to be that person that takes the steps to make connections because most people won’t, despite being lonely. Social media has made us all social awkward IRL and so many people are stuck in the same boat of wanting real friends but not knowing how to talk to people in public.
How many of y'all feel like your personality was stifled by abusive parents and being made an outcast by your peers at an early age in school? I believe this is where most of my social anxiety stems from. All because I was simply an easy target. I was the quiet 90 pound white kid in class in a predominantly black school. That should paint a picture right there.
same thing that happened to me except I had crazy strict Asian Parents. I had decent amount of friends in freshmen year, but was never allowed to ha g out with them and slowly they distanced themselves from me and then I started to get bullied. I have no confidence or idea of how to talk to people
My moms was too overprotective of me I feel like that played a big role of me having social anxiety on top of other shit that happened to me as a kid she never let me do things other kids would do at my age I had a friend who was also my next door neighbor she’d never let me go to his house to play games and wouldn’t even let me walk with him to a store down the fucking street and what not I still went without her knowing sometimes but you get the picture when I’d have friends over she wouldn’t even let us come inside I had to beg her to let them inside she’d alway tell me that my friends are bad influences blah blah blah this really affected the way I grew up it’s no wonder after I turned 12 I struggled to make friends I feel isolated and Alone up until now Even to this day I feel like I have a lot of learning to do when you got overprotective parents that’s how it goes though you have to grow up on your own and put yourself through the real world to break out of that shell they created you talk to confident and outgoing people and get to know them one thing you’ll notice is they all had more freedom during their childhood and their parents were more easygoing people
This comment made me realize that white people do, in face, experience racism as much as any other races. Maybe saying as much is a stretch, but you guys do experience things like that. And it made me realize that we're all people, and it doesn't really matter about the color of your skin or your culture/religion, we still all experience emotions. As a growing black boy in a racist Russian/middle eastern neighborhood, I experienced lots of things since I lived in a predominantly white n Arab school. So yeah.
@@luciddoggo5094 It feels like I've written this as you describe my situation perfectly, anyway can I reach out to you so we can talk about this and learn from each other
I put in my AirPods, closed my eyes, and listened to this whole video and learned a lot from you bro. Social anxiety is something Ive definitely struggled with from a day to day basis. I personally feel like I suppress my true self cause I’m scared to be judged by others, especially in public. I need to own that shii because I’ll never be happy with myself if I don’t. I wanna be a successful rapper and I know my dreams won’t come true if I don’t try to work on that. So fr man, I appreciate you for giving me and everybody else on here some real straight up advice, much love❤
@@Kevinho2428 I appreciate you for asking! Imma be 100% honest. As a person that struggled with social anxiety for years & watched countless videos on how to overcome it, this by far is one of the most helpful videos I’ve came across. I’ve implemented bros tips into my schedule and I make sure I really engaged/talk to people and get out more. It’s worked a lot so far. One thing I realized was that In order to get better at conversations you have to become a better listener. Genuinely listen to what people say when they talk to you, then you’ll be able to give a genuine response back. I have the habit of letting what they say go in one ear and out the other so it was hard for me to respond because I had to act like I knew what they were talking about lol. I started trying to truly learn more about the people I talk to and from there I can open up new ideas and topics to discuss. Pro tip fs❤️
@@Kevinho2428 Also, pretty obvious & self explanatory but don’t be ashamed to be yourself! When you’re in public, with friends, or talking to a new person in general, It can be easy to mask your emotions and personality because your scared of what people are gonna stay/think about you. That nervousness is holding you back from taking yourself to the next level. So really use this dudes advice and work on making yourself better than you already are! I gotchu fam💪🏼
This is the realest shit I’ve heard. In a social media platform full of people giving “advice” on how to better yourself socially and trying to make money off of it and telling you what you want to hear not what you need to, this video is a breath of fresh air. Everything you said I relate to, I use video games instead of social media to isolate myself and talk to people on the game to get that interaction because it is easier, this video brought light to the fact I am doing that. Thank you for teaching me that I do not need to be cool with everyone, because those are the people that really feel the loneliest, this video taught me that I need to allow myself to be myself and gel with the people that like it because that’s how your really going to feel satisfied in life and grow as a person, not being this fake person that I have been for so long that shifts my personality to the people around me to try and be liked. This video brought light to the fact that that is just beating around the bush and I am going to stay in my dark place forever if I don’t allow myself to shine through. I know this a long comment but homie really opened my eyes and this video truly changed my life. I don’t have a father figure in place in my life and this video gave me the manly advice I need.
Personally, I don’t like to force things with people. I can give someone my energy & time but if they don’t match my very n vibe then that means something off. It’ll look like I’m bothering them, annoying, or being too clingy and I hate that. Not saying I wouldn’t force myself to socialize at all, but this has happened many times to the point where Im starting to think that relationships/bonds should come organically and not forced. I’ve tried developing a bond with a relative and she doesn’t seem to interested to know wassup with me and what I got goin on.
Ong bru I felt that. That’s why half the time I usually just keep to myself then they’d think I’m avoiding after realizing they just not fw me or the vibe is just not there. I’m cool with them but just not tryna be friends fr
Realest comment. Swear all the people in my classes just don’t gaf about talking to their peers, cuz I’ll spark up a conversation and they’ll be so dry or just stare at their phone and I’m left there looking desperate to talk to them or just annoying in general
Personally, the reason why I can’t develop good conversations/connections is because I feel like shit, mentally and physically most day’s. People probably assume that’s just who I am and that I have no personality, when in fact my vibration is just too low to interact with humans. The reason why I have such low energy is because I suffer from multiple mental illnesses that take over my life which I’m still searching on how to deal with.
the word probably is key. if u have no personality no one will really care who u r. u r invisible. When you start showing ur personality u are more visible. Just practice talking to people maybe even people in ur household
Remember it works both ways as well. if you don't feel the person, drop the convo and move on. some ppl may be appealing to you at first but once you start talking you'll quickly learn that the person is up your alley or not. it's fine to dip from the convo, honestly no one will hold it against you and if they do that's their problem, not yours. Also, remember every new relationship (romantic , friendship , or whatever) will have the awkward stage, but that's fine. Own it and just be yourself don't put on a persona.
I haven’t watched this video yet but before I do I want to share what has helped me tremendously. I’m an introvert and growing up it was always hard for me to speak to people as I had what they call Selective Mutism. There are people out there who I knew for years and have never heard my voice. I’ve come a long ways since and I want to help those who need it. First, you want to clear your mind, look the person in the eyes and connect with them. You want to practice how to give people your full undivided attention. Eye contact helps me do that so practice looking people in the eyes when they speak and when you speak. Try to maintain about 70% eye contact. There’s also this practice where you can listen to a sound with many different noises, your objective is to focus on one sound and tune the rest out, this will help with tuning in with who you’re talking to. Secondly, talking calm and slow has worked wonders for me. When I used to speak to people it would often be fast paced and I would trip over my own words or even say something that didn’t make sense, not only giving the impression of making me seem nervous but also elevating my nervousness due to me feeling embarrassed about it. Speak slowly, you make less mistakes and you are able to craft your sentences in a way that impresses people. Not only are you able to craft your words better but you also give off a calming tone, your partner will feel calm and in turn you yourself will feel calm. Third, don’t be afraid to pause. It’s ok to pause in between sentences, this gives you time to think about what you’re about to say. I don’t believe in awkward silences anymore, I am comfortable with there being pauses in between. There’s no need for constant rapid conversation. Again, craft your sentences. Mean what you say and only say what you mean! Select your words carefully. I’ve often had the problem where I would say something that I would later regret. If I was to select my words more carefully I wouldn’t have said those things. Some things are also better left unsaid. Prevent yourself from over sharing or going off topic to something irrelevant. Go deep, not wide. I used to go on dates myself and I would make the mistake of going wide. It made for very awkward conversations. What it means is don’t jump from subject to subject, your conversation should flow. You know when you have such a good conversation with someone that you don’t know how you went from talking about your favorite music to something completely different like personal ghost encounters? That’s going deep. Ask questions, speak on what’s relevant to the conversation, naturally you will go from one topic to the next with such a smooth transition that you will never notice. I’ll add more later but I’m in the shower..
what you said about not being able to talk to people and being so dependent on our phones is so god damn true. the whole thing is true and full of wisdom but that part can’t be stressed enough. everyone looks at everything from an angle, they’re not living in reality
Thank you i believe i can talk to alot of people but the only reason why i don't and i stay isolated is because i feel alot people don't like me that's why i stay to my self.
I feel like it’s not just our phones. It’s the structure of America as a whole.. think about how the cities are built.. we don’t have walkable cities we’re al in our cars and houses are built to be separate and lonely. Social media apps are built to keep our attention. I get what you’re saying, perspective is so important but it’s also not all our fault. Regardless amazing video
It's amazing the second Kam started to focus more on these self improvement/social cues videos he's gains more traction. Been here since 30k keep grinding 💪 💯
I really needed to hear, “You won’t be cool with everyone.” I’m so blinded by my dislike for my lack of conversation skills that I thought I had to practice anytime I was in the mood (because I rarely am) and that I had to talk to people I know I didn’t like because maybe there was something wrong with me for not liking everyone like everyone else does. That I had to be more personable. But now I think people are just fake or have a habit for talking for no reason or they just enjoy talking even if there is nothing of substance to speak on. But I’m not that person. I rarely engage in small talk, but I can easily walk up to someone I find interesting and start a conversation. Usually things go well. So more than shy, I’m just antisocial mostly. It’s funny. Sometimes when strangers at the gym walk up to me, we’ll be standing there staring at each other because they expect me to say some filler sentences, but I’m not that guy.
Appreciate the words man, we give into fear and our insecurities to much. Once you become comfortable in yourself, you’ll feel a lot better about speaking to others.
I'm learning to get people to stop talking to me not out of fear but because peace. lol ESPECIALLY in the work place. I'm older and just want that peaaaace.
Honestly bro it's really impressive how well you can express your ideas. You're very well spoken and you're extremely efficient at getting ideas across in an understandable manner. Best of luck
I clapped my hand several times watching your video. Thanks for sharing your thoughts so that ppl with high school conversation idealism like myself can learn.
I appreciate this bro i've been going through this myself. I tried being friends with everyone but its just not working so I thank you for the reminder
Thanks man, i needed this, after the pandemic i've been feelin very weird when i'm around people, and this video helped me a lot to remember how to actually relate with people again.
You vibe with people you can relate to the most. The best questions start off with the basics so don’t overthink it. Loving actions like smiling and hugging will start off the conversation with good energy. Cheers🔥
This young man is incredibly smart and 100% smarter then I was when I was that young. A lot of people need to hear this, it might literally save some lives.
this video real asf lowkey a good way to force yourself to talk to people is to put urself in situations where u have to talk to people like I was in a band and before I had pretty bad fear of people then we started going on tour where I was forced to talk to ppl and it all sorta just melted away. obviously there were people I liked and didn't like but it all contributed to figuring out the points he talked about in the video. if u find urself in a situation where u can be social like a party or a concert or what have u definitely go and even if u only talk to one person its a good thing even if u think it goes poorly ur just figuring out the type of ppl u like and dislike
Totally resonated with the personality talk. Spent too long overthinking how others see me so that hopefully I’d fit in or not appear weird for being different. As a consequence, I failed to fit in with everyone and lost some potential to develop my own personality
i was bullied for a long time from the end of elementary to high school and i wanted to fit in so bad i changed myself so much that i forgot who i used to be i don’t think i’m suppressing my personality but i do think i loost myself to people who don’t even matter
Came into this video with no expectations just bored at work needing something to listen too no problems with speaking at all but boy you get a follow this was a gem and I’m sending this to my anxious homies fosho
this was a dope video. ive wanted to make videos discussing topics like this while playing games in the background for a while now and seeing this vid gave me motivation to start
as someone who's got a lot fo Friends, the thing you said about people who are cool with everybody is so true, it sucks man, feels so lonely even tho I know everyone fw me
I want to start this comment with Respectfully this video is the first time ive seen of you on YT. idk who your audience is but i will say me and all of my homies talk to each other about real shit or bull shit and everything in between. we have disagreements with each other we hash those disagreements out in which ever way it has to go. Whether it be a heated argument or a peaceful resolution. Not to come off ageist or anything but im 27 and i have younger friends who go to highschool and i have older friends that have had corporate jobs since i was in HS. I notice what youre talking about in younger people. some people naturally grow out of "social anxiety" through time. And the people that dont grow out of it are just low vibrational people and theyre going to be like that problaby for the rest of their lives. I genuinely enjoy sophisticated intimate friendships (male or female). and I dont waste time with people i dont consider intimate friends or at least moving in that direction. and when i say "Intimate" Its kind of a spectrum but ideally the level would be like im friends with their friends and with their family. And if i cant have that with a friend i usually just dissappear and move onto meeting other people. My personal resolution for the problem youre presenting is recognizing low vibration behavior. if someone isnt capable of furthering a friendship then just move on.
This is the most informative video I’ve seen in a good while. You’re spot on in identifying our current social structure. Instead of trying to find underlying reasons and/or excuses, you go straight to the point. The undeniable truth with what’s wrong with our society today. “Experts” won’t tell you that because they made it that way. This is what they want. This how they control the masses. And unfortunately, it starts at a very young age. While I may agree with what you’re saying, I won’t deny that I myself am addicted to technology. I do have a fascination for it, and along with other things, I managed to create an addictive behavior. I quit sharing my personal life on social medias a long time ago, quickly realizing that I wasn’t comfortable with sharing my personal life. Though, I’m still active on some socials to share the music I create and the events I partake it. Nevertheless, It still is highly important to make and spend precious time with your family and close friends. It’s true that what was sold to us as a way to connect with others is also the very same thing that divides us. Your message speaks to me because honestly, social interactions HAVE become more challenging. Every encounter seems to be a bit more difficult these days in my experience. I’ll say that the Pandemic also damaged our relations, which caused us to judge whether or not we should socialize or not. While interacting, I try not to focus on my inner voice, judging me for trying to have a conversation. I try to focus on showing and remaining interested in learning more about a person. It’s okay to talk to someone literally about anything. Asking lots of questions about a person also show interest and helps you learn more about them. Anyways, just my thoughts I wanted to share in regards to your message. Great video! You’re very smart for a young cat like yourself. Continue to spread truth. Bless!
This facts you are who you make yourself out to be i used to never really talk but i found myself and i gained confidence def got noticed by more females🤣
just came across this channel, just wanna say that this guy is speaking straight facts, finally happy to hear someone else talking like this, keep it up bro
Finally someone told me bruh. I been confused why I be stressing to talk to people. I be on my phone too much and shit. And I fr jus be scared to go up to people I been meanin to talk to
Just want to let you guys know that because of this guy today I talked to some girl from my school finally after a few month waiting to meet someone new. It was so easy and we had a great conversation. I started with asking her about hobbies just 'cause she was listening to music when I said hi to her so we started talking about dancing and singing so seriously guys just go and find anyone, they will be so happy
Bro I’m not even kidding, watching this video literally flipped some sort of switch in my brain. I’m not sure why I needed to hear this said in exactly the way that you said it, but I certainly did. I definitely still have social anxiety, but after watching this video, I feel much more comfortable with feeling like I don’t need to talk to everyone if I don’t really feel like it. And in turn, that has made me, strangely enough, more comfortable in talking to pretty much everyone. I still have social anxiety like I said, and I don’t think that’s ever going away, but hearing all of these things said by someone else really helped me overcome some things about myself that I really hated.
Huh, reading this helped me actually. So you’re saying you’re gonna talk to people only if you get the urge to, but not talk out of some feeling from pressure, saying that you have to?
@@user-zb7fm6hj2g exactly. I don't know if everyone is going to get what I got out of this video, but the most important thing that I have taken away from it is the fact that you do NOT need to talk to people, if you do not want to. And for me, learning that has made me less anxious to talk to people. I don't know if thats how everyone feels, but that is definitely what helped me.
If you form your relationships off of you putting in the work, you're not going to have friends that want to spend time with you, you're going to have friends you want to spend time with. Don't try to get the respect of others, just be respectful and if people don't respect you don't associate with them. Don't force conversations, you're not friends with the girl at the grocery, and you don't want to be. You probably don't have a personality if you're watching this video, and that's fine, don't try to be unique. In the chase of being unique most people put themselves in a box. Don't define yourself. Be who you want to be. If you're boring then that's fine, in fact that's ideal, nobody wants to be friends with someone that's constantly trying to get attention or approval. Stop caring about what other people think and starting caring about what you think and focus on your own life, not friends. This is important in relationships too, if you chase women you'll never stop chasing, if you feel like you need a girlfriend you probably should stay single. Hopefully this was helpful.
and also i think i've tried with the wrong people and it has just wasted my time😭when i've tried to come out my shell and talk to ppl, i talk to the wrong ones that give my a dry response, i get discouraged and think im too much then i repress myself again
A Better explaination of “be yourself” Is “have conversations for your enjoyment, if you don’t enjoy a conversation then you don’t have any obligation to continue it”
That helped me alot thank you
Aka Be confident, but not cocky. Be real, but not cynical. If I feel like going to a party dressed like a geek but talking like I work construction bet on that cause I brought a damn 30 with me and that's all the "self-promoting" required, like mission accomplished the jobs already done.
@@Brizzbra_betweaked iui
Great explanation thank you fam..
Nice advice man ❤
A summary of all the points
1. You can't be cool with everyone
2. Force yourself to talk to people
3. Let your personality shine (be yourself)
4. Don't treat it as an interview
5. Don't overthink it
love ya bro! no homo tho.... unless
@@lilkrucivert pause
@Levi Chicwown yee! I wanted to ask a girl for some kind of contact and forgot to say my name☠️☠️☠️
@Levi Chicwown same. I already know all this shit, but never translates well to actual conversations
Most importantly I feel is having fun and entertaining yourself.
8:11 "Lack of personality comes from trying to fit in" bro is SPITTIN fr
You don’t have to be “cool” with everybody is the best advice ive heard from someone in a while
Kam dropping bangers at the right time. I’m in college right now and the amount of awkward convos with random people I’ve met is crazy.
do you have discord ? i have same pb i need to talk
Same bruh
I had skme awkward conversations too lol but I'm getting better
Same
Bro same I feel I have the good energy but people be dry af at my college
The problem i face as a teenager nowadays is that even when i try to go up to people and start a conversation, they barely reply or reply with one or two words. People my age kinda try to seem cool and mysterious which is holding both them and me back.
Because those people are probably stuck in their own heads too bro.
@@yussefftalal1435 Exactly, sometimes you have to be persistent to get people to come out of their own shell. It’s a difficult balance to strike because you don’t want to annoy people who genuinely just don’t vibe with you, but you’d be surprised how many people do vibe with you but they freeze up when you talk because they’re dealing with their own anxiety.
@@nuh-uhbro765 thisss. I met a girl who was really quiet, and she seemed like she had social anxiety, and as someone who struggled with it a lot, I understand her, and her struggles to properly communicate with me, I don't immediately assume that she doesn't like me just because she doesn't talk too much to me, or because she's mostly quiet all the time when my other friends are around, i know that many people have their own struggles, and it just takes some time for people to feel comfortable around you
@@melonenjoyer It’s good to be that person that takes the steps to make connections because most people won’t, despite being lonely. Social media has made us all social awkward IRL and so many people are stuck in the same boat of wanting real friends but not knowing how to talk to people in public.
I have social anxiety and this happens too, when I try to open up to someone I get barley a response, people just be like that in highschool
"IF YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH EVERYBODY YOU REALLY FRIENDS WITH NOBODY ." that hit.
My problem with forcing myself to talk to people is that I put myself in uncomfortable situations where I don’t know how to act.
It also depends on what you try to talk to them about
Good. The only way to get more comfortable in the uncomfortable is to do it more often. Eventually, you will learn how to act
Exactly the point
How many of y'all feel like your personality was stifled by abusive parents and being made an outcast by your peers at an early age in school? I believe this is where most of my social anxiety stems from. All because I was simply an easy target. I was the quiet 90 pound white kid in class in a predominantly black school. That should paint a picture right there.
same thing that happened to me except I had crazy strict Asian Parents. I had decent amount of friends in freshmen year, but was never allowed to ha g out with them and slowly they distanced themselves from me and then I started to get bullied. I have no confidence or idea of how to talk to people
My moms was too overprotective of me I feel like that played a big role of me having social anxiety on top of other shit that happened to me as a kid she never let me do things other kids would do at my age I had a friend who was also my next door neighbor she’d never let me go to his house to play games and wouldn’t even let me walk with him to a store down the fucking street and what not I still went without her knowing sometimes but you get the picture when I’d have friends over she wouldn’t even let us come inside I had to beg her to let them inside she’d alway tell me that my friends are bad influences blah blah blah this really affected the way I grew up it’s no wonder after I turned 12 I struggled to make friends I feel isolated and Alone up until now Even to this day I feel like I have a lot of learning to do when you got overprotective parents that’s how it goes though you have to grow up on your own and put yourself through the real world to break out of that shell they created you talk to confident and outgoing people and get to know them one thing you’ll notice is they all had more freedom during their childhood and their parents were more easygoing people
This comment made me realize that white people do, in face, experience racism as much as any other races. Maybe saying as much is a stretch, but you guys do experience things like that. And it made me realize that we're all people, and it doesn't really matter about the color of your skin or your culture/religion, we still all experience emotions. As a growing black boy in a racist Russian/middle eastern neighborhood, I experienced lots of things since I lived in a predominantly white n Arab school. So yeah.
I feel like I've missed out on core teenage experiences because of having strict parents and being too sheltered.
@@luciddoggo5094 It feels like I've written this as you describe my situation perfectly, anyway can I reach out to you so we can talk about this and learn from each other
I put in my AirPods, closed my eyes, and listened to this whole video and learned a lot from you bro. Social anxiety is something Ive definitely struggled with from a day to day basis. I personally feel like I suppress my true self cause I’m scared to be judged by others, especially in public. I need to own that shii because I’ll never be happy with myself if I don’t. I wanna be a successful rapper and I know my dreams won’t come true if I don’t try to work on that. So fr man, I appreciate you for giving me and everybody else on here some real straight up advice, much love❤
YOU ROCK BRO ❤
any updates?
@@HINTERHOF333 Thankyou bro! You too, much love to all y’all ❤️
@@Kevinho2428 I appreciate you for asking! Imma be 100% honest. As a person that struggled with social anxiety for years & watched countless videos on how to overcome it, this by far is one of the most helpful videos I’ve came across. I’ve implemented bros tips into my schedule and I make sure I really engaged/talk to people and get out more. It’s worked a lot so far. One thing I realized was that In order to get better at conversations you have to become a better listener. Genuinely listen to what people say when they talk to you, then you’ll be able to give a genuine response back. I have the habit of letting what they say go in one ear and out the other so it was hard for me to respond because I had to act like I knew what they were talking about lol. I started trying to truly learn more about the people I talk to and from there I can open up new ideas and topics to discuss. Pro tip fs❤️
@@Kevinho2428 Also, pretty obvious & self explanatory but don’t be ashamed to be yourself! When you’re in public, with friends, or talking to a new person in general, It can be easy to mask your emotions and personality because your scared of what people are gonna stay/think about you. That nervousness is holding you back from taking yourself to the next level. So really use this dudes advice and work on making yourself better than you already are! I gotchu fam💪🏼
This is the realest shit I’ve heard. In a social media platform full of people giving “advice” on how to better yourself socially and trying to make money off of it and telling you what you want to hear not what you need to, this video is a breath of fresh air. Everything you said I relate to, I use video games instead of social media to isolate myself and talk to people on the game to get that interaction because it is easier, this video brought light to the fact I am doing that. Thank you for teaching me that I do not need to be cool with everyone, because those are the people that really feel the loneliest, this video taught me that I need to allow myself to be myself and gel with the people that like it because that’s how your really going to feel satisfied in life and grow as a person, not being this fake person that I have been for so long that shifts my personality to the people around me to try and be liked. This video brought light to the fact that that is just beating around the bush and I am going to stay in my dark place forever if I don’t allow myself to shine through.
I know this a long comment but homie really opened my eyes and this video truly changed my life. I don’t have a father figure in place in my life and this video gave me the manly advice I need.
Your comment was inspiring and eye opening 🖤
Thanks for commenting bro ur on the right path
Personally, I don’t like to force things with people. I can give someone my energy & time but if they don’t match my very n vibe then that means something off. It’ll look like I’m bothering them, annoying, or being too clingy and I hate that. Not saying I wouldn’t force myself to socialize at all, but this has happened many times to the point where Im starting to think that relationships/bonds should come organically and not forced. I’ve tried developing a bond with a relative and she doesn’t seem to interested to know wassup with me and what I got goin on.
Ong bru I felt that. That’s why half the time I usually just keep to myself then they’d think I’m avoiding after realizing they just not fw me or the vibe is just not there. I’m cool with them but just not tryna be friends fr
Realest comment. Swear all the people in my classes just don’t gaf about talking to their peers, cuz I’ll spark up a conversation and they’ll be so dry or just stare at their phone and I’m left there looking desperate to talk to them or just annoying in general
@@zackrodriguez7519 facts
All it has to be is a simple "what's good" it's not that deep.
@@zackrodriguez7519 fax fr
Personally, the reason why I can’t develop good conversations/connections is because I feel like shit, mentally and physically most day’s. People probably assume that’s just who I am and that I have no personality, when in fact my vibration is just too low to interact with humans. The reason why I have such low energy is because I suffer from multiple mental illnesses that take over my life which I’m still searching on how to deal with.
focus on yourself
Facts 💯
the word probably is key. if u have no personality no one will really care who u r. u r invisible. When you start showing ur personality u are more visible. Just practice talking to people maybe even people in ur household
I pray you solve ur mental illnesses bro.
ye don’t give up dawg
This guy didn’t have social anxiety, he just had a lil glow up and was like nah I’m him
Remember it works both ways as well. if you don't feel the person, drop the convo and move on. some ppl may be appealing to you at first but once you start talking you'll quickly learn that the person is up your alley or not. it's fine to dip from the convo, honestly no one will hold it against you and if they do that's their problem, not yours.
Also, remember every new relationship (romantic , friendship , or whatever) will have the awkward stage, but that's fine. Own it and just be yourself don't put on a persona.
“If you want to have interesting conversations, you have to be interesting.” Facts.
i work at target and i have to deal with awkward convos much too often lmao
I was “cool” with everyone and then I noticed everyone has their own friends groups and I was left alone
I haven’t watched this video yet but before I do I want to share what has helped me tremendously. I’m an introvert and growing up it was always hard for me to speak to people as I had what they call Selective Mutism. There are people out there who I knew for years and have never heard my voice. I’ve come a long ways since and I want to help those who need it.
First, you want to clear your mind, look the person in the eyes and connect with them. You want to practice how to give people your full undivided attention. Eye contact helps me do that so practice looking people in the eyes when they speak and when you speak. Try to maintain about 70% eye contact. There’s also this practice where you can listen to a sound with many different noises, your objective is to focus on one sound and tune the rest out, this will help with tuning in with who you’re talking to.
Secondly, talking calm and slow has worked wonders for me. When I used to speak to people it would often be fast paced and I would trip over my own words or even say something that didn’t make sense, not only giving the impression of making me seem nervous but also elevating my nervousness due to me feeling embarrassed about it. Speak slowly, you make less mistakes and you are able to craft your sentences in a way that impresses people. Not only are you able to craft your words better but you also give off a calming tone, your partner will feel calm and in turn you yourself will feel calm.
Third, don’t be afraid to pause. It’s ok to pause in between sentences, this gives you time to think about what you’re about to say. I don’t believe in awkward silences anymore, I am comfortable with there being pauses in between. There’s no need for constant rapid conversation. Again, craft your sentences.
Mean what you say and only say what you mean! Select your words carefully. I’ve often had the problem where I would say something that I would later regret. If I was to select my words more carefully I wouldn’t have said those things. Some things are also better left unsaid. Prevent yourself from over sharing or going off topic to something irrelevant.
Go deep, not wide. I used to go on dates myself and I would make the mistake of going wide. It made for very awkward conversations. What it means is don’t jump from subject to subject, your conversation should flow. You know when you have such a good conversation with someone that you don’t know how you went from talking about your favorite music to something completely different like personal ghost encounters? That’s going deep. Ask questions, speak on what’s relevant to the conversation, naturally you will go from one topic to the next with such a smooth transition that you will never notice.
I’ll add more later but I’m in the shower..
this is some of the best advice on the subject i’ve ever heard! thank you for sharing ❤️
Thanks will u add more
what you said about not being able to talk to people and being so dependent on our phones is so god damn true. the whole thing is true and full of wisdom but that part can’t be stressed enough. everyone looks at everything from an angle, they’re not living in reality
Thank you i believe i can talk to alot of people but the only reason why i don't and i stay isolated is because i feel alot people don't like me that's why i stay to my self.
That's how I feel as well
Ur not alone fr some of the people you interact with may just think the same
I'm a female and I needed this help, thank you so much for sharing.
I feel like it’s not just our phones. It’s the structure of America as a whole.. think about how the cities are built.. we don’t have walkable cities we’re al in our cars and houses are built to be separate and lonely. Social media apps are built to keep our attention. I get what you’re saying, perspective is so important but it’s also not all our fault. Regardless amazing video
It's amazing the second Kam started to focus more on these self improvement/social cues videos he's gains more traction. Been here since 30k keep grinding 💪 💯
love to see it
he's spitting fire & striking gold
I really needed to hear, “You won’t be cool with everyone.” I’m so blinded by my dislike for my lack of conversation skills that I thought I had to practice anytime I was in the mood (because I rarely am) and that I had to talk to people I know I didn’t like because maybe there was something wrong with me for not liking everyone like everyone else does. That I had to be more personable. But now I think people are just fake or have a habit for talking for no reason or they just enjoy talking even if there is nothing of substance to speak on.
But I’m not that person. I rarely engage in small talk, but I can easily walk up to someone I find interesting and start a conversation. Usually things go well. So more than shy, I’m just antisocial mostly. It’s funny. Sometimes when strangers at the gym walk up to me, we’ll be standing there staring at each other because they expect me to say some filler sentences, but I’m not that guy.
bro you save the day all the time i started talking to this girl about 3 days ago and i swear she wants me bro keep up the good work
i personally fuck w this 2
•force urself to talk to people
•don’t think much most people ain’t mean
Appreciate the words man, we give into fear and our insecurities to much. Once you become comfortable in yourself, you’ll feel a lot better about speaking to others.
I don’t even have social anxiety it’s just hard for me to fake things just to have a convo seems like I’m the only real one in a fake one
I'm learning to get people to stop talking to me not out of fear but because peace. lol ESPECIALLY in the work place. I'm older and just want that peaaaace.
Kam always preaching thank you for making this
Real talk this video just gave me some much needed motivation to get back out there, Thank you bro fr🙏🏼
Man I love the straightforward and honest delivery. Real attracts the real. Keep going man!👑
One of the most underrated content creators on youtube right here. Thanks for everything you do, you're a real one!
Honestly bro it's really impressive how well you can express your ideas. You're very well spoken and you're extremely efficient at getting ideas across in an understandable manner. Best of luck
My guy spitting facts. This deserves a subscribe for sure! Keep working hard my guy! 💯🤝
Really appreciate that bro you gave the best answers to my most troubling problem, all love for that✊🏼
Damn homie, straight to the point and crystal clear. Love it!
I clapped my hand several times watching your video. Thanks for sharing your thoughts so that ppl with high school conversation idealism like myself can learn.
this dude is speaking only facts in such a light-hearted way, I found it so fascinating and I appreciate it very much. Keep it up, homie.
I love your energy!!
I appreciate this bro i've been going through this myself. I tried being friends with everyone but its just not working so I thank you for the reminder
this dude is well spoken and spit facts, instantly suscribed
Thanks man, i needed this, after the pandemic i've been feelin very weird when i'm around people, and this video helped me a lot to remember how to actually relate with people again.
i needed this, i just feel so tired all the time and lost my personality for the longest i hope i don't bore people
You kept it real. Many people just say the most generic crap about how to overcome social anxiety, eventhough they're not wrong, it doesn't help.
You vibe with people you can relate to the most. The best questions start off with the basics so don’t overthink it. Loving actions like smiling and hugging will start off the conversation with good energy. Cheers🔥
Kam is way to underrated he be helping men frr
This young man is incredibly smart and 100% smarter then I was when I was that young. A lot of people need to hear this, it might literally save some lives.
this video real asf lowkey a good way to force yourself to talk to people is to put urself in situations where u have to talk to people like I was in a band and before I had pretty bad fear of people then we started going on tour where I was forced to talk to ppl and it all sorta just melted away. obviously there were people I liked and didn't like but it all contributed to figuring out the points he talked about in the video. if u find urself in a situation where u can be social like a party or a concert or what have u definitely go and even if u only talk to one person its a good thing even if u think it goes poorly ur just figuring out the type of ppl u like and dislike
Ur point at 5:31 is SOOO TRUE!! It’s the exact thing I did to get over most of my own social anxiety
bro hopped in front of the camera and spit facts for 13 minutes and 6 seconds straight
Totally resonated with the personality talk. Spent too long overthinking how others see me so that hopefully I’d fit in or not appear weird for being different. As a consequence, I failed to fit in with everyone and lost some potential to develop my own personality
This man’s spitting straight facts. I needed to know some of this stuff YEARS ago bro
Bro you remind me of Huey from the boondocks. Young and wise king 🤴
i was bullied for a long time from the end of elementary to high school and i wanted to fit in so bad i changed myself so much that i forgot who i used to be i don’t think i’m suppressing my personality but i do think i loost myself to people who don’t even matter
Thank you man 🙏🏾
Awesome video. Thank you for keeping it real
Came into this video with no expectations just bored at work needing something to listen too no problems with speaking at all but boy you get a follow this was a gem and I’m sending this to my anxious homies fosho
this was a dope video. ive wanted to make videos discussing topics like this while playing games in the background for a while now and seeing this vid gave me motivation to start
as someone who's got a lot fo Friends, the thing you said about people who are cool with everybody is so true, it sucks man, feels so lonely even tho I know everyone fw me
top tip that worked for me is just stop seeking validation in others like honestly everyone else is fucked up too dawg
One thing I use everytime
Be real in your approach of having discussion
Being real gonna teach you whatever you need to improve
I needed this, thank you 🙏
on some real shit, universe kept showing me this video and you spitting. keep being you fam. glad I clicked on this one.
youve really hit the nail on the head with this. ive always known our phones are to blame, just never knew how to fix it
Thank you for making this video.
I want to start this comment with Respectfully this video is the first time ive seen of you on YT. idk who your audience is but i will say me and all of my homies talk to each other about real shit or bull shit and everything in between. we have disagreements with each other we hash those disagreements out in which ever way it has to go. Whether it be a heated argument or a peaceful resolution. Not to come off ageist or anything but im 27 and i have younger friends who go to highschool and i have older friends that have had corporate jobs since i was in HS. I notice what youre talking about in younger people. some people naturally grow out of "social anxiety" through time. And the people that dont grow out of it are just low vibrational people and theyre going to be like that problaby for the rest of their lives. I genuinely enjoy sophisticated intimate friendships (male or female). and I dont waste time with people i dont consider intimate friends or at least moving in that direction. and when i say "Intimate" Its kind of a spectrum but ideally the level would be like im friends with their friends and with their family. And if i cant have that with a friend i usually just dissappear and move onto meeting other people. My personal resolution for the problem youre presenting is recognizing low vibration behavior. if someone isnt capable of furthering a friendship then just move on.
Love this
Just found this video & straight fax only are spoken, subbed
This is the most informative video I’ve seen in a good while. You’re spot on in identifying our current social structure. Instead of trying to find underlying reasons and/or excuses, you go straight to the point. The undeniable truth with what’s wrong with our society today. “Experts” won’t tell you that because they made it that way. This is what they want. This how they control the masses. And unfortunately, it starts at a very young age. While I may agree with what you’re saying, I won’t deny that I myself am addicted to technology. I do have a fascination for it, and along with other things, I managed to create an addictive behavior. I quit sharing my personal life on social medias a long time ago, quickly realizing that I wasn’t comfortable with sharing my personal life. Though, I’m still active on some socials to share the music I create and the events I partake it. Nevertheless, It still is highly important to make and spend precious time with your family and close friends. It’s true that what was sold to us as a way to connect with others is also the very same thing that divides us. Your message speaks to me because honestly, social interactions HAVE become more challenging. Every encounter seems to be a bit more difficult these days in my experience. I’ll say that the Pandemic also damaged our relations, which caused us to judge whether or not we should socialize or not. While interacting, I try not to focus on my inner voice, judging me for trying to have a conversation. I try to focus on showing and remaining interested in learning more about a person. It’s okay to talk to someone literally about anything. Asking lots of questions about a person also show interest and helps you learn more about them. Anyways, just my thoughts I wanted to share in regards to your message. Great video! You’re very smart for a young cat like yourself. Continue to spread truth. Bless!
Extremely well-spoken
Keep grinding kings. Remember that simplicity is key!
Keep them coming Kam
MINDSET is the first Step!! Great Advice! :)
i really needed this. thank you.
First video I’ve saw of you & I love your videos already
Thank you man🙌
Love you brodie this was amazing
This facts you are who you make yourself out to be i used to never really talk but i found myself and i gained confidence def got noticed by more females🤣
*women
Keep killing it bro 🎯
Very true, thankyou
just came across this channel, just wanna say that this guy is speaking straight facts, finally happy to hear someone else talking like this, keep it up bro
Thanks for this.
Finally someone told me bruh. I been confused why I be stressing to talk to people. I be on my phone too much and shit. And I fr jus be scared to go up to people I been meanin to talk to
Much needed video 💪🏼
u wise af bro thanks
Just want to let you guys know that because of this guy today I talked to some girl from my school finally after a few month waiting to meet someone new. It was so easy and we had a great conversation. I started with asking her about hobbies just 'cause she was listening to music when I said hi to her so we started talking about dancing and singing so seriously guys just go and find anyone, they will be so happy
Bro I’m not even kidding, watching this video literally flipped some sort of switch in my brain. I’m not sure why I needed to hear this said in exactly the way that you said it, but I certainly did.
I definitely still have social anxiety, but after watching this video, I feel much more comfortable with feeling like I don’t need to talk to everyone if I don’t really feel like it. And in turn, that has made me, strangely enough, more comfortable in talking to pretty much everyone.
I still have social anxiety like I said, and I don’t think that’s ever going away, but hearing all of these things said by someone else really helped me overcome some things about myself that I really hated.
Huh, reading this helped me actually. So you’re saying you’re gonna talk to people only if you get the urge to, but not talk out of some feeling from pressure, saying that you have to?
@@user-zb7fm6hj2g exactly. I don't know if everyone is going to get what I got out of this video, but the most important thing that I have taken away from it is the fact that you do NOT need to talk to people, if you do not want to. And for me, learning that has made me less anxious to talk to people.
I don't know if thats how everyone feels, but that is definitely what helped me.
I needed this thank you
This is the best video of this topic I ever watched.
beautiful video thank you brother
i needed to hear this !!!
Ooo I like you. You popped up on my recommendations, I'm glad I tuned in.
If you form your relationships off of you putting in the work, you're not going to have friends that want to spend time with you, you're going to have friends you want to spend time with. Don't try to get the respect of others, just be respectful and if people don't respect you don't associate with them. Don't force conversations, you're not friends with the girl at the grocery, and you don't want to be. You probably don't have a personality if you're watching this video, and that's fine, don't try to be unique. In the chase of being unique most people put themselves in a box. Don't define yourself. Be who you want to be. If you're boring then that's fine, in fact that's ideal, nobody wants to be friends with someone that's constantly trying to get attention or approval. Stop caring about what other people think and starting caring about what you think and focus on your own life, not friends. This is important in relationships too, if you chase women you'll never stop chasing, if you feel like you need a girlfriend you probably should stay single. Hopefully this was helpful.
Only facts spoken!!
what you said about you cant be friends with everybody is mostly true... us salesmen understand even tho we top sellers we still finna close them xD
everything you said is so true. why have i never heard anyone say this before??
Thank you for this video
I’ve been having this mentality and perspective in my head thank you for putting it into words
and also i think i've tried with the wrong people and it has just wasted my time😭when i've tried to come out my shell and talk to ppl, i talk to the wrong ones that give my a dry response, i get discouraged and think im too much then i repress myself again