ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 มิ.ย. 2024
- Just something I have been battling with lately is an internal conflict about trying to achieve something which in reality may be way outside of my possibilities, are our boundaries for success already set
#adam #lifeat30 #lifeat35 #personalgrowth
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Great video Adam! As soon as the self compares it to others suffering and negatively arises. The key is not to block out negativity but to notice it, understand the feeling tone and then let it wash away. Same goes for positivity too which can also lead to suffering for those who try to hold onto it for a long time. Feelings arise and pass. Go through these like a stream flowing.
Always supporting you man!
Its easy to see the family as a glass ceiling or some sort of 'predetermined template'...
Obvs, Its not the case.
Separating & getting my own place was the best thing I ever did
& now, I think more of them than I could put into words
I like your vids Adam, Keep faith!!
I relate to what you’re saying. I guess they say “You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most”. So if you’re surrounded by people that don’t change, it can be hard to feel that things can change, but also vice versa. I’m finding that having a mentor is helping me
It is not easy to change a circumstance when surrounded by negativity, in fact, it can be exhausting, especially when on a subconscious, energetic level people wish for you to be like them and settle, speaking for myself. Looking to others for positivity and motivation can help in continuing to strive for change. I find extracting little kernels of positivity, no matter how small can help shift the focus, even if it is for a short while👍
Update: Thanks for the likes, after the day I had, it is appreciated🙏
at last you're surrounded by beautiful country in the midlands/derbyshire! That's definitely a plus.
Good upload! As my uncle once said, mate, some time ago. We are only born into a family it is not a certain chemistry will hit, in fact it is all lottery and rng. He then says; It is sometimes hard to accept, but that is the reality. I also think you hit the nails with your points.
An interesting perspective, I’ve never really studied my family that way but looking back I can see how my brother and I were destined to fail. I admire your resolve in not wanting to accept defeat but I gave up a long time ago and there’s a freedom in that.
Thats just it, the drive not to accept is potentially also the block that gets in the way of everything else
im wired similar to you, i just never give up.
to me there's a fine line between wanting to grow and break the mold but also accepting where were at and enjoying our life and loving ourselves in the now regardless if we're there yet or not, we're not predetermined but conditioned, and we can change 100%.
observing the family can be a very weird trip for real, the patterns, the ancestral traumas that go from member to member, being the one that breaks all that is a very intense task to have.
i feel like being judgamental can be a trap as well, since maybe they're just not wired or ready to have the realizations you had with your life.
and making them change and make them understand how you feel without them having tangible proof of "life can be different" can also be hard, since they never had any reasons to believe.
but believing is a crucial part of change, if you dont believe, you dont have the energy to change.
regardless, happy that it was a relaxing trip for you
great comment!
enjoying the little things is key
Thanks for this its a helpful comment to read through, I really appreciate it
Can relate to all of this almost perfectly, common dilemma of the INFP personality ;)
Yep. 🎯 As a fellow INFP, I concur.
@@BanjoPixelSnack Hell yeah
You really captured this well. Insecure people or bully-types want to 'dis' other road users purely as an ego win. I felt that negative thing from some of my family (and then you learn it much to your shame, when you know you used to be way more open minded and want to learn positive things) - wished for years to have conversations, board games even (!) instead of the default TV and facebook getting switched on. They trump getting your brain working.
In order to change a thing you have to accept that it is a certain way. If I wanted to change the colour of my hair to green, I need to accept that it is not green, but it’s brown.
Interesting take
Another great vid Adam but I was floored when you said you’ve never seen Harry Potter!! I suggest you at least watch the first film, some of the themes may resonate with you (Harry feels isolated/disconnected from his real world family but finds new family and purpose at Hogwarts-key part of the first film)
Interesting.. I may have to venture into the films
I DO believe in genetic determinism.
I believe from the books i read and easy as well as accurate information we have nowdays that this is a real thing.
This is why i believe so much in luck.
I am not suggesting of course that someone should stop trying to make his/her life better but you have to ask at some point:"Where i really want to go to and why am i not being there already despite the efforts"
And what are the TRUE reasons that produce this result?
Awesome video Adam, if I can have a little of your time I would like to share my thoughts. 🙂
Firstly it seems to me you are on a journey of letting go of the shackles that have held you back. 🙂You know we are very fortunate today to have many answers to many things at our finger tips. Years ago we would have to search through many books and many libraries to seek information we are looking for. Today we can simply search on Google, TH-cam etc. and find answers in plain English, or plain video that is really straight forward to understand without any of the waffle that many books would have given in the past. It would be a process just to translate the lah di dah language into a coherent sentence etc. that one can then absorb and process. In short with so much information at our finger tips there are no needs to be confined and restricted to boxes imposed by others. There's a World out there just waiting to be explored and global communication in real time makes the World a much more smaller and accessible place. There are resources just waiting to be explored and made good use of. 🙂
Moving on from that I personally believe we live our lives to become better as people. What really matters here is moving from one end of the human nature scale to the other. From needy and selfish etc. moving towards understanding, compassion and making valid contribution to others. Parents for the most part do it for their off-spring, equipping them with all their knowledge and understandings so they can succeed in life and accomplish even more from where their finished off, each generation learning from the last and making good use of that knowledge/wisdom to accomplish even more and so on and so forth. But then take that mind-set away from just family and rather than just give of that nature to family, extend it to the many and we can see how pooling and sharing information through a parent's natural nurturing approach can really accelerate progress (love thy neighbour). One doesn't need to be a parent to do this either, but this analogy perhaps makes the process easier to understand.
In the case of those closed off and needing to criticise the World etc. to bolster their feelings of self-worth the best approach might be to accept them as they are, but if we are able to show them some of their better qualities it may help them to turn their conscious thoughts around exploring and improving those traits that benefit the many, rather than closed off thoughts that tend to separate them from the many instead. It's a crying shame when family have to put down other family members to bolster their feelings of self-worth. Someone developing or unsure of themselves tend to fall foul of such toxicity, taking their thoughts and actions to heart to the point they feel deflated, worthless and "unmotivated" to the point they might believe they will fail so why try, or to the point they have been starved of even recognising their unique strengths and talents and as such have little or no direction in life. Critical and opinionated people often drive wedges between themselves and others whereas giving recognition for positive attributes brings people together and helps develop them. One divides while the other unites and the outcomes should tell anyone all they perhaps need to know in terms of which holds more weight and potential.
A lot of issues today centre around this belief that successful in life equates to flashy well paid jobs, expensive abodes and lifestyles etc. The needs for such things and to maintain them bring about there own problems and struggles as if life isn't complicated enough. What matters is the universal language of love and connecting with nature/Mother Earth helps ground us and remind us of the beauty in the everyday things we take for granted. Adam if you have hopes and dreams you should explore them. Simple breaks rather than lifestyle changes can be all that is needed to recharge our batteries and keep us positive when life's burdens and hurdles start to take their toll. It's doing what feels right for you and not letting the thoughts and opinions of others hold you back. Believe in yourself my friend and see where your dreams and aspirations take you as you start to sit in the driving seat of your life deciding for yourself which directions you want to take yourself in. Hope this has been of some use/help etc. ❤❤
I always appreciate the time you go to in order to write the comments you do John. you are one of the few that I sit down to take in everything you bring to the table as I find your insights to be very interesting and more often than not, quite helpful at seeing perspectives on thing.
I am far from feeling confident or even brave enough to even take those little breaks of which you speak but it is a work in progress and I know really, taking the plunge is usually the best bet (its not like its anything drastic) Thanks once again John, its always a nice read
@@Add- Personally Adam I think you are doing perfectly well as you are. In your content throughout you speak directly from your heart, sharing your thoughts and insights with none of the BS and waffle some others do. Perhaps we as your loyal subscribers should voice more of the depths and quality of your content. You are never wrong in your view points, but then if we don't tell you that, how are you suppose to be consciously aware of such, especially when battered and torn by the vocal criticism and non-vocal actions of those who made you question everything you do...
I see great worth in pooling information, view points and comparing notes with others, learning and growing all the while as we do so as we start to build better understandings of others, their logic and thought processes thereof. Adam you do that in abundance and if I have helped in any way it fills my heart with joy knowing I have gone some way to making a difference to a fellow Brother (I too was a late developer), but often late developers far exceed their peers as they start to find their feet and form a clearer picture ahead of where they want to grow and direction they want to take their lives in with new vigour and momentum. Again I hope this has been of some help. 🙂
PS: I look forward to your next upload, but no pressure. 🙂
How is the therapy going Adam?
It does seem like a lot of your negativity stems from your family / home life, rentings not all that bad as buying anytime soon is not realistic it seems for yourself or a lot of people, it it comes it comes.
I get it man, we don't have to like our families so don't feel like you need to. Why not do a 2-3-4 person house share and get out of there dude!
it sounds like you're listening to jacked and stacked
Cant lie, absolutely no idea who that is?