He entered something weird into an SCP to "see what it would do" outside of an authorized experiment. Regardless of what happened that is a no-no in the foundation. If it goes horrible wrong the foundation doesn't usually do more then reprimand you unless you display gross negligence or malicious intent, as the consequences are considered punishment enough.
@@Lawsonomy1 It's confusing because of the redactions, it sounds like there are three people involved here: Agent Joseph [Redacted], Agent [Redacted], and [Redacted]. I had the same initial reaction as @Jacob Walker, but I think it's meant to be Agent [Redacted] and [Redacted] who get the reprimands.
Frankly, considering how The Coffee Machine is the closest the Foundation has come to actually killing 682, letting Jack place an order can only end in catastrophe.
Agent [REDACTED] requested a "Cup of Joe" and then felt sick and passed out. DNA Matches Agent [REDACTED] HMMMMMMM I wonder what the agent's name could have possibly been?!
friendly reminder that this is the only SCP that has canonically been able to kill 682 but the substance created a nuclear explosion before they could get it to the lizard.
@@thefallencog Yup, O Death did it, and that one table that lets you make a deal for anything you want basically said it could do it but that the person asking couldn't afford it.
@@thelivingglitch1371 It worked in concept because the theoretical liquid was a Material/form of matter that was far outside of the rules of our reality. The fluid in question producing a standard Thermonuclear blast is probably just Anti-matter, but not explicitly being called antimatter. 682 used to be capable of being destroyed by Ordinary means, you could actually *kind* of kill him through just blowing him up or disintegrating him, but he would regenerate and adapt too quickly. The soup 294 put out was probably capable of atomizing 682 in the span of a nano second, which back then was far beyond his ability to regenerate and adapt to in most accepted canons.
@@thefallencog it should be noted that the machine doesn't create from nothing, everything it produces must exist somewhere in the universe and it must be capable of taking on a liquid form, meaning that the 682 killer does in fact exist somewhere in the universe, and it is relatively close since it seems to have a limited (if massive) distance it can pull from because it has given an "out of range" error in the past. I'm assuming it was liquid star matter since throwing it into the sun is the only thing they haven't tried yet, they need to just lower the machine into it's chamber and have a sacrificial D class activate the machine.
granted with the guards there watching, i bet it would get reported. and wouldn't be to suprised if there was a usage log near it for all staff to sign and date that they used it.
@@dagazar possibly, depends if those "extra security measures" have been implemented yet. I was more thinking of grabbing it during a lock down when the guards are busy. You only need one cup.
@@Lawsonomy1 true, but i bet the foundation would have security cams in any public place in case of security breaches so they can see what's going on, it's a risk, but short of burning alive, the fuck is the 0-5 gonna do.
I thinks its awesome yall are going threw each individual SCP rather then picking and choosing. Super nice when id rather listen then read the wiki. Great job!
I wonder if theyve tried cross testing with the soul extractor since it produces a liquid. Just wait until somebody goes of soul (the music) and gets "a cup of Joe('s soul)."
Also the funny thing about this is no one considered - 1. Cup of fountain of Youth water that grants immortality 2. The Egyptian mummy juice from that one SCP recovered from the Mana Charitable Organization 3. The color blue (/redacted log from a Keter SCP that can manifest items) 4. Infect this with 293 (obsession) and see what happens lol 5. A cup of something that will absolutely rival the effects of SCP 500, and be safely and easily replicated by conventional machines and medical drug making systems available in regular pharmaceutical industry standards. Because even giving 500 to the standards of the Everything Tree will not cover for the cloning process, we don't know if the tree has a limit. 6. A cup of seeds of the Everything Tree which retains all its anomalous abilities that which will grow in conventional gardens of suitable soil. Congratulations, the last 2 is guaranteed to make humanity better.
Love that this coffee machine implied that it itself was god with the "blood of Christ" request. (The message the machine showed when that request was made translated to: "This is my blood")
Idk why but i started laughing my ass off when the guy came out with a 500+ Autobiography jajajjaa. Between that and the blood of Christ this SCP has a hell of a sense of humor.
How the hell does this thing not have more stringent containment procedures? Like, there are half a dozen just up to this point which are downright benign compared to this thing that you can't even look at without class 3 or higher supervision and written permission of the site supervisor in triplicate. I mean, I can literally think of other SCPs that this thing should be able to "dispense" leading to an emergency containment breach.
List of things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the foundation rule on this SCP: Dr. Bright may not put "A cup of orgasm" from SCP-294 through SCP-914 on the Very Fine setting. * Dr. Bright may not use SCP-294 to create a "cup of memetic orgasm" and use it on worldwide television. * Dr. Bright is not permitted to use SCP-294 to create orgasms of any kind, memetic, sentient or otherwise. * Given the results of requesting a cup of "Dear God No", Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to use SCP-294 directly or outside of approved testing. * Given that he asked another staff member to request a "Cup of Explodium" from SCP-294 to "see what would happen", Dr. Bright is not allowed to ask other staff members to access SCPs for him, no matter how instructive, funny or helpful the results would be. The only exception to this is SCP-963.
First it was the never-ending pizza box, now it’s the never-ending beverage machine; what’s next… the endless sandwich container? (Which ain’t really a bad idea) 😏
Just hop in SCP-914 set on Super Fine. That's what it's made for, and you know thats safe as aposed to whatever random "super power potion" the machine is grabbing from the serpents hand or the chaos Insurgency.
Has anyone ever tested the concept orders like it gives a 12 oz. Cup right? What if I ordered "a cup of ALL COCA COLA FACTORY SUPPLY" and if the cup managed to carry all of that volume defying logic.......that would be a fascinating order
Wow! What would I ask for a cup of? Hmmm... Let me think... 🤔 maybe... 1 ) A cup of total & complete healing. 2 ) A cup of perpetual perfect health. 3 ) A cup of comprehension & enlightenment. 4 ) A cup of perpetual youth, mid 20's. 5 ) A cup of perpetual immortality. 6 ) A cup of all psychic abilities, permanent. 7 ) A cup of super strength, permanent. 8 ) A cup of perpetual good luck! Etc. Etc. Etc. Yeah, you get the idea. 😏 One thing I would be curious to try (now that I'm immortal) would be the famous "Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster" ~ The best drink in the Galaxy! From "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". How could I pass up THAT opportunity? CHEERS! 🍻✌
@@nightmarepolice7590 So that I can actually one day die and not watch everything around me burn. I'd rather die then have to watch all my friends and family die one by one.
@@dagazar I think there is an SCP by that name, it fuses to your hand and fills with bodily fluids and you dehydrate and malnutrish quickly if you don't drink it.
The person who requested the best drink I ever had and it was cola and rum it probably also contained hormones that would’ve made it like the same at that time
I wonder if you can make a healing liquid... Or some physical enhancing substance... A cup of heal for exemple A cup of luck... A cup of strength something like that... Or maybe you can make a cup of scp 500...but is possible it will take the pills and made them liquid so I don't think is a good idea
Mmmm… Ahlan Tea. Black. Had it when I visited Turkey, never had anything like it since. That or Menengiç Kahvesi, Turkish pistachio coffee. Wish I could find it here, probably have to live somewhere a lot more cosmopolitan.
the foundation can make bank with this device, horse semen is currently the most expensive fluid on the world! if they sell that, the foundation will never have financiall difficulties ever again!
This is one of the top 10 SCPs people want to be real and have for themselves.
And I'd still only order Dr Pepper
Yep. Personally I’d always get a gin and tonic.
But I want a pet 682...
I kinda like the fact that there's only one SCP that can cure Cancer.
@@seanmorgan2356 Well technicaly it didn't just remived the leukemia cells in the blood. But didn't remove the source.
"a cup of The Pestilence"
might be interesting - they might conclusively prove 049 - or just be inconclusive
Machine pours you a cup of narcissism
For reason I started dying at the mans who wrote about his life
Agent Joseph is reprimanded for leting the SCP take a cup of himself from his body without O5 approval I guess
Yeah, I was wondering about that as well.
He entered something weird into an SCP to "see what it would do" outside of an authorized experiment. Regardless of what happened that is a no-no in the foundation. If it goes horrible wrong the foundation doesn't usually do more then reprimand you unless you display gross negligence or malicious intent, as the consequences are considered punishment enough.
Litterally got his body sucked away into a cup, reprimand
He should be ashamed! xD
@@Lawsonomy1 It's confusing because of the redactions, it sounds like there are three people involved here: Agent Joseph [Redacted], Agent [Redacted], and [Redacted]. I had the same initial reaction as @Jacob Walker, but I think it's meant to be Agent [Redacted] and [Redacted] who get the reprimands.
"Surprise me"
"Okay, here's a cup of boiling, exploding water!"
k. a$$hole.
water so hot, it's twice of boiling point.
I thought it was going to dispense normal water which is way more surprising because you don't expect something so ordinary
Hey, that researcher wanted to be surprised. 294 only delivered.
This SCP is just plain awesome
Dr. Bright is banned from accessing this scp
Frankly, considering how The Coffee Machine is the closest the Foundation has come to actually killing 682, letting Jack place an order can only end in catastrophe.
Another classic SCP, an anomalous coffee machine
"Hic est enim Calix Sanguinis mei"
Something like "This is the cup of my blood" or some such.
Agent [REDACTED] requested a "Cup of Joe" and then felt sick and passed out. DNA Matches Agent [REDACTED]
HMMMMMMM I wonder what the agent's name could have possibly been?!
I also wonder what the agent's name could've been, all I know is that the name is totally not "Agent Joe".
@@mo____ *Going along with the clear joke*: Yeah, but Joe would make a lot of sense.
@@SquishiiFishrose Nah, doesn't make sense.
@@mo____ Hmm.. I wonder why?
His name is Joseph. It is said. They redacted his last name
The entry with Cassy warmed my soul.😊
friendly reminder that this is the only SCP that has canonically been able to kill 682 but the substance created a nuclear explosion before they could get it to the lizard.
A few others have, but this is the only one that doesn't require the (known) sacrifice of all life in the universe.
@@thefallencog Yup, O Death did it, and that one table that lets you make a deal for anything you want basically said it could do it but that the person asking couldn't afford it.
I heard that it worked in-concept, with the only challenge being it’s small amount. Could fully kill 682 if there was a bigger supply of the stuff.
@@thelivingglitch1371 It worked in concept because the theoretical liquid was a Material/form of matter that was far outside of the rules of our reality.
The fluid in question producing a standard Thermonuclear blast is probably just Anti-matter, but not explicitly being called antimatter.
682 used to be capable of being destroyed by Ordinary means, you could actually *kind* of kill him through just blowing him up or disintegrating him, but he would regenerate and adapt too quickly.
The soup 294 put out was probably capable of atomizing 682 in the span of a nano second, which back then was far beyond his ability to regenerate and adapt to in most accepted canons.
@@thefallencog it should be noted that the machine doesn't create from nothing, everything it produces must exist somewhere in the universe and it must be capable of taking on a liquid form, meaning that the 682 killer does in fact exist somewhere in the universe, and it is relatively close since it seems to have a limited (if massive) distance it can pull from because it has given an "out of range" error in the past. I'm assuming it was liquid star matter since throwing it into the sun is the only thing they haven't tried yet, they need to just lower the machine into it's chamber and have a sacrificial D class activate the machine.
Probably your only chance at getting ahold of SCP-006 without being O5 or killed.
granted with the guards there watching, i bet it would get reported. and wouldn't be to suprised if there was a usage log near it for all staff to sign and date that they used it.
@@dagazar possibly, depends if those "extra security measures" have been implemented yet. I was more thinking of grabbing it during a lock down when the guards are busy. You only need one cup.
@@Lawsonomy1 true, but i bet the foundation would have security cams in any public place in case of security breaches so they can see what's going on, it's a risk, but short of burning alive, the fuck is the 0-5 gonna do.
@@dagazar I mean probably have you burned alive...
@@Dethmon i'm guessing you only read my first comment, not my second one? cause i've already stated that
I thinks its awesome yall are going threw each individual SCP rather then picking and choosing. Super nice when id rather listen then read the wiki. Great job!
This is the same thought I had and how I found this channel in the first place
I feel sorry for the dude who got reprimanded because the machine stole his blood.
And tissues, and [REDACTED] composed of 50% Y chromosomes and 50% x chromosomes
Definitely one of my favorite SCPs. It has great potential for other experiments. And it could be used to procure exotic materials.
they could probably ask for "Ink to make more like Cassie" and get exactly that, then she could finally have a friend
What I wouldn't give to have one of these.
FINALLY
One of my favorites SCPs.
Dr Bright is temporarily barred from SCP-294, until he is given a full work load. We are not subjecting this to your boredom Bright!
What did he even order?! Oh wait it’s dr bright it’s gonna be weird
@@colemanbrenner6555 knowing him it was something like "cup of catgirls" or something-
Wasn’t he the one ordering Lysergic acid diethylamide, and dosing other researchers?
I wonder if theyve tried cross testing with the soul extractor since it produces a liquid. Just wait until somebody goes of soul (the music) and gets "a cup of Joe('s soul)."
THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR XD yaaaaaayyyy!
Also the funny thing about this is no one considered -
1. Cup of fountain of Youth water that grants immortality
2. The Egyptian mummy juice from that one SCP recovered from the Mana Charitable Organization
3. The color blue (/redacted log from a Keter SCP that can manifest items)
4. Infect this with 293 (obsession) and see what happens lol
5. A cup of something that will absolutely rival the effects of SCP 500, and be safely and easily replicated by conventional machines and medical drug making systems available in regular pharmaceutical industry standards. Because even giving 500 to the standards of the Everything Tree will not cover for the cloning process, we don't know if the tree has a limit.
6. A cup of seeds of the Everything Tree which retains all its anomalous abilities that which will grow in conventional gardens of suitable soil.
Congratulations, the last 2 is guaranteed to make humanity better.
How will the seeds work, only things that have a liquid form will work. So basically you’ll get a cup of liquified seeds.
8:15 Best entry.
This is actually so cool like wtf? so simple but so awesome
I like how one of the was for Cassy.
A cup of water from fountain of youth. An obvious top request.
In crying right now... the perfect drink is the mf grimace shake
Dr. Bright is not allowed to request a cup of explodium
Love that this coffee machine implied that it itself was god with the "blood of Christ" request.
(The message the machine showed when that request was made translated to: "This is my blood")
"A cup of the cure for cancer" and the agent could become rich
It's so funny that the coffee machine is the closest that the Foundation has come to finding a way to kill 682 (the hard-to-destroy lizard).
If I had access to a machine like that I would get a best luck drink and get a lottery ticket XD
You know the Foundation would confiscate the money.
luck comes in waves, youd die shortly after
I hope this channel has a ton of playlists, so I can binge watch like i do Netflix series
They have all of them in playlists 100 each
Idk why but i started laughing my ass off when the guy came out with a 500+ Autobiography jajajjaa.
Between that and the blood of Christ this SCP has a hell of a sense of humor.
This is one SCP that I actually want to have. lol
How the hell does this thing not have more stringent containment procedures? Like, there are half a dozen just up to this point which are downright benign compared to this thing that you can't even look at without class 3 or higher supervision and written permission of the site supervisor in triplicate. I mean, I can literally think of other SCPs that this thing should be able to "dispense" leading to an emergency containment breach.
This one is just wacky and I love it.
List of things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the foundation rule on this SCP:
Dr. Bright may not put "A cup of orgasm" from SCP-294 through SCP-914 on the Very Fine setting.
* Dr. Bright may not use SCP-294 to create a "cup of memetic orgasm" and use it on worldwide television.
* Dr. Bright is not permitted to use SCP-294 to create orgasms of any kind, memetic, sentient or otherwise.
* Given the results of requesting a cup of "Dear God No", Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to use SCP-294 directly or outside of approved testing.
* Given that he asked another staff member to request a "Cup of Explodium" from SCP-294 to "see what would happen", Dr. Bright is not allowed to ask other staff members to access SCPs for him, no matter how instructive, funny or helpful the results would be. The only exception to this is SCP-963.
That guy who typed in "cup of anti-water" would have killed himself and most or all of humanity if that had gone through.
6 more to 300!
The apple seeds strike again. Poor Dr King. 😅😂
First it was the never-ending pizza box, now it’s the never-ending beverage machine; what’s next… the endless sandwich container? (Which ain’t really a bad idea) 😏
"Potion that will give me Superpowers"
The applications seem almost endless
Just hop in SCP-914 set on Super Fine. That's what it's made for, and you know thats safe as aposed to whatever random "super power potion" the machine is grabbing from the serpents hand or the chaos Insurgency.
What is a safe range for a cup of anti-water? That for sure would explode the whole facility.
Has anyone ever tested the concept orders like it gives a 12 oz. Cup right?
What if I ordered "a cup of ALL COCA COLA FACTORY SUPPLY"
and if the cup managed to carry all of that volume defying logic.......that would be a fascinating order
Yeah, I'm not using that machine. Never know what was the last thing ordered from it.
they should try to get copies of liquids from other SCP‘s like scp-207
I'd ask for a cup of Super Solider Serum and see what happwns.
Since it's from a fantasy world, or let's say another dimension, the machine would simply respond [OUT OF RANGE]
Deadass been waiting for this one
Why the heck is this one Euclid?? That machine isn't going anywhere.
Cup of president's heart
Cup of prime minister's brain
Cup of speaker of house lungs
Ect
You can't contain or control its ability to gather things to dispense, though.
Because it can be a very powerful weapon in the right hands
Cup of Joe, Cup of Joe, Cup of Joe!!!
I am interested if writing "cup of healing potion" will give any result.
I feel like he’s already done this one exactly this way
My favorite SCP
wonder what would happend if they used this to try to remember what SCP-055 is. (a cup of unforgetting)
Wow! What would I ask for a cup of?
Hmmm... Let me think... 🤔 maybe...
1 ) A cup of total & complete healing.
2 ) A cup of perpetual perfect health.
3 ) A cup of comprehension & enlightenment.
4 ) A cup of perpetual youth, mid 20's.
5 ) A cup of perpetual immortality.
6 ) A cup of all psychic abilities, permanent.
7 ) A cup of super strength, permanent.
8 ) A cup of perpetual good luck!
Etc. Etc. Etc. Yeah, you get the idea. 😏
One thing I would be curious to try (now that I'm immortal) would be the famous "Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster" ~ The best drink in the Galaxy! From "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy".
How could I pass up THAT opportunity?
CHEERS! 🍻✌
Why would you want to be immortal?
@@BananaHoovyJ.Rabbit why do you want to be mortal
@@nightmarepolice7590 So that I can actually one day die and not watch everything around me burn. I'd rather die then have to watch all my friends and family die one by one.
Well, talk about a hot coffee incident, for sure.
This is fucking creepy. I would not touch that shit, EVER.
They should ask it for a cup of everything
"Hic est enim Calix Sánguinis mei" means "this is a cup of my blood"
Intelligence
Willing to live
Willingness to work
Energy
No procedures... then describes some procedures. A+ writing lol
Cup of cure for diabetes, cup of cure for cancer, cup of platinum, cup of youth rejuvenating serum
It might be possible to use this machine to figure out what the chains holding the Devourer of worlds are made out of
I want to cross test 507 with the cup of perfection to identify if it is the same liquid found in a previous shift
Perhaps place it in a secure SCP room rather then just the cafeteria though?
What would "a cup of immortality" get you?
If I had the chance I would type in "A Gallon of Milk" or "What Do You Recommend?"
Hmmm I wonder why the Euclid class rather then safe class.
Probably because of the ease of obtaining highly dangerous substances, such as acid, poison or other compounds.
Generally the class is based on how easy it is to contain. And this has less containment or level restrictions then some safe class scps
It is combined replicator and transporter machine.
Umm the replicators are based on teleporter tech
I wonder what would happen if you asked for a cup of something to kill scp 682
0:52 Why is nobody talking about the fact that the keyboard is not a normal QWERTY keyboard?
0:51 yeah ok buddy looks like a qwerty keyboard
If I typed in vitamins I'm deficient in would that be safe to drink
What would happen if they asked "a cup of scp 500"?
That feel when the other SCP (Cup of Joe) and the Sadist Tumblr could well be set in the same room and see what the fuck can this thing come up with.
cup of joe wasn't an scp? it's just the result of this scp being very literal in translation, and not best use of words by staff
@@dagazar I think there is an SCP by that name, it fuses to your hand and fills with bodily fluids and you dehydrate and malnutrish quickly if you don't drink it.
great video! :O
Why not test by asking water from fountain of youth? Do fountain exist?
Wonder what would have happened if someone asked for a “cup of (foreign language)”
Best cup of Sweat and Sour soup, within range please.
Addendum
The person who requested the best drink I ever had and it was cola and rum it probably also contained hormones that would’ve made it like the same at that time
Could 294 be used to acquire Y-909?
My input would have been 5-meo-DMT.
I wonder if you can make a healing liquid... Or some physical enhancing substance...
A cup of heal for exemple
A cup of luck... A cup of strength something like that... Or maybe you can make a cup of scp 500...but is possible it will take the pills and made them liquid so I don't think is a good idea
I was hoping he would talk about this ones use in trying to kill the lizard
I believe that's in 682's termination log
Mmmm… Ahlan Tea. Black. Had it when I visited Turkey, never had anything like it since. That or Menengiç Kahvesi, Turkish pistachio coffee. Wish I could find it here, probably have to live somewhere a lot more cosmopolitan.
I'd be that one asshole, asking for 'the skull case contents of' various politicians...
I'd just keep ordering molten gold and keep an ingot mold in my desk, lol
I HAVE A REQUEST TO CROSS TEST THE COFE MACHINCE AND THE TURTLE SHELL
Why did no one request water of eternal youth or potion of eternal youth? That would have been great if it worked.
Have they tried inputting "something that will kill SCP 682"?
@@avw5kt They did? I didn't see any of that on the item's page.
@@vladtheimpaler9577 Go to the scp 682 termination log, it's on there
COFFEE MACHINE GOOD.
the foundation can make bank with this device, horse semen is currently the most expensive fluid on the world! if they sell that, the foundation will never have financiall difficulties ever again!
What about the cup of air ?
I would request "cure for cancer"
and no one asked for a cup of panacea
A good known scp
SCP agents have friends?
I wonder what happened to all that molten gold that one researcher kept asking for ? 😂😂
How many people died after falling into a vegetative state permanently after drinking "Secret of Life"?