@@MerkhVision I feel the same tho and honestly... If ive got a tapeworm then that things been with me since i was 10 at least as ive been ravenous as long as i can remember. However, some of that can most likely be blamed on my being intersex and XXY spec; which means i have lower energy lvls than others and thus need to consume more, esp carbs, to have enuf energy to do things; even just hangin around the house is exhausting in its own way depending on other factors as im also autistic so i have to make sure my sensory needs are met or else it drains me significantly. In my early to mid 20s i opted to get by thru drinking several liters of cola a day to keep up with the energy of average NTs like those i mingled with most of the time. Shockingly (or not) stopping that and eating a little more bread and pasta and the like actually meant i lost at least a hundred lbs/fiftyish kilos. And cannabis helps me keep myself peppy in much the same ways as caffeine used to. It was/is at its worst during puberty tho, both times around, for obvs reasons and makes me even more ravenous.
Bottle touches the floor for an instant...completely soiled. Put baby in toilet, then proceed to use toilet on top of baby...completely clean...because science.
Please play more of this. I was laughing my ass off, and I sent it to my wife, asking if that's what she does when she's home all day with my son, and she said it was basically an exact recreation of her day. If my son turns out like Kevin, I blame this video.
7:25 “Oh it has triangles on it and you want circles, i see. Okay so I should just put you up for adoption is what you’re trying to say.” Favorite line hands down.
Good luck. I have depression and panic disorder too and it really sucks. It does get better eventually. It takes time and treatment. Hole you can improve soon.
Ethan Steel I guess it's the balance against every other guy who doesn't bother to stay around at all. Nah I'm just kidding, we have our choices. Not being born womb-free that is
@@nerysstuart4210 Well, I mean, the only reason to get married in the first place is for free food and sex... so without that, there really is no point at all. You're basically just wasting everyone's time. Other than that, there's really no benefit in it for the man.
@@chaosmastermind "the only reason to get married in the first place is for free food and sex" Jesus christ!!! Are you even listening to yourself??? Haven't you ever heard of _love?_ While I myself don't necessarily believe in love at first sight, or "one true love for everyone," that doesn't remove the fact that people do fall in love! If it weren't for love, I wouldn't have been born. If it weren't for love, YOU wouldn't have been born!!
0:17 I happen to be able to read this and it's just an uncomplete text about that font in German (well, it's an old German font, that's why it's not in English) It says "Bisweilen wird jede Form der deutschen Kurrentschrift als Sütterlinschrift bezeichnet. Dies liegt wohl daran, daß die Sütterlinschrift diejenige Form der deutschen" and it's taken off of Wikipedia.
@@robertfletcher452 That was a movie. I dont even have children or plan on having any. Why does everyone on earth hate me because of that shitty entertainment company, Marvel???
14 years I’ve been a parent, I’m just now finding out I coulda been putting them in washing machine this whole time!? Boy Kevin knows all the parenting hacks! Thanks!
Every. Minute. Of this video. I absolutely LMFAO'd. At times, because of what was going on, but mostly just because of your reaction to it. I can die happy now. Or at least, I never need to watch another TH-cam video as long as I live. Nothing will ever be as funny as this.
Omg there is more!!! Is this a series!!😳 Please make it one (like a mini series)...btw I love your voice Kevin. I can't believe there's an entire country of people that talk like this. One day I must go
Regarding your last “job” video, I think I have the perfect job for you. LOOKING AFTER OTHER PEOPLE’S BABIES! You do such a great job Kevin, I couldn’t help pointing it out. Fantastic.
This is why Jim Pickens is the way he is, Mama Kevin did not raise him right.
His mom is Janice, or if you will, Bor- Janotnice
Are you implying that something is 'not right' with the dear leader?!
Explains a lot 🤣
wait a minute Jim is older than Kevin
does that mean Jim Pickens is a time traveler and Jim in other game is Jim from the future 😮
Wait this isnt how your supposed to take care of a baby?
Mother Simulator but I'm not a mother and this isn't a simulator
Lauren McLachlan and I beat my child
Krzysztof Czajka and I cover up the evidence
This isn't a simulator, ITS REAL LIFE
So basically you stole a kid xD
Or your just depressed lol
But if you're not a mother if it's not a simulator then that means you are a mother or you don't have a baby and you're just a child... or a person
i work at a daycare and i can tell yall that this is 100% accurate
Daycare don’t exist
Even the part where you shit on the baby and put the baby in the dryer?
The Blyat Master of course. Have you not been around kids before?
@@spencermcintyre4206 no, every chance I have I eat babies
Even the part where you throw the baby on the floor and let it slide and smack its head on the wall?
"I'm getting to know you and that's depressing" 😂😂😂
whens part two come out? i need more tips for taking care of my child and kevin is the only mom i trust
Me too he doesn't sugarcoat things he tells it like it is. Sometimes baby needs to go in the toilet.
John Doe my mother and you share very similar ideals of raising kids
He just has the best advice I don't know what I would do without him
@tess you might want to talk to the police about what your mother did to you
marschma r/whoooooosh
kid: wants green toy with circles on it
kevin: *i see okay so i should just put you up for adoption is what you're trying to say*
Parenting 101 😁👍🏻
nonsense kevin is the greatest mom that ever mommed
bore ragnarok
He's got a lot experience from raising Sims, nothing can go wrong!
i fucking knew it
there's always a ragnarok around
Ecstasy bore gagonacock
*Grognak
You were in super hot
"I just ate an entire loaf of bread and I'm not even full" Same, Kevin...same T-T
Yall might have a tapeworm lmao
@@MerkhVision
I'm too chubby for that addition in my life 😂
@@MerkhVision I feel the same tho and honestly... If ive got a tapeworm then that things been with me since i was 10 at least as ive been ravenous as long as i can remember. However, some of that can most likely be blamed on my being intersex and XXY spec; which means i have lower energy lvls than others and thus need to consume more, esp carbs, to have enuf energy to do things; even just hangin around the house is exhausting in its own way depending on other factors as im also autistic so i have to make sure my sensory needs are met or else it drains me significantly.
In my early to mid 20s i opted to get by thru drinking several liters of cola a day to keep up with the energy of average NTs like those i mingled with most of the time. Shockingly (or not) stopping that and eating a little more bread and pasta and the like actually meant i lost at least a hundred lbs/fiftyish kilos. And cannabis helps me keep myself peppy in much the same ways as caffeine used to.
It was/is at its worst during puberty tho, both times around, for obvs reasons and makes me even more ravenous.
I eat like 3 bites and I’m full so I have the opposite problem lol
Bottle touches the floor for an instant...completely soiled. Put baby in toilet, then proceed to use toilet on top of baby...completely clean...because science.
Dislike this reply
Bill Billinger haha
@@mrforheadflash Nah, I think I'll like it. 👍
It is a commonly known fact that babies have hydrophobic, antistain properties
It's science we can't begin to understand 🤣
Please play more of this. I was laughing my ass off, and I sent it to my wife, asking if that's what she does when she's home all day with my son, and she said it was basically an exact recreation of her day. If my son turns out like Kevin, I blame this video.
LOL it's a good thing tho Kevin is a great person
@@abelaguirre3978 Anyone capable of creating the likes of Jim Pickens is clearly hiding something
Well did he so far?
@@itz_grass5890 he likes to sing and hates soup, so... yep. So far so good.
Even shitting on the baby? Damn
“When I was a child I was lucky to get fungus”
When he was trying to throw the dirty diaper in the bin, and was like *GADOOSH!* The subtitles just said *GOOD JEWISH, GOOD JEWISH* Im dying
Lmfao
but he wasnt putting them in the showers
Heather Fryler why are you dying can I help
no f ing way 😆🤣
@@sir_rodent oh cool AKA as well in your name
*"im gonna raise my child for once"*
This is why Jim has no part in it
"Raising"
I feel like Kevin has become one of the Sims from his own videos.
Hes one of the santas now. Bad food, messy place, always left with screaming babies.
love my male irish mum
Gracie Wilkins he's Irish?
yeah, i guess his accent is fairly subtle tho
He is.
As Irish as the green and lovely lanes of Kelishandra.
Rafael Alódio come out ye black and tans
7:25
“Oh it has triangles on it and you want circles, i see. Okay so I should just put you up for adoption is what you’re trying to say.”
Favorite line hands down.
Kevin finally decided he was going to be a housewife after failing at being a cook, a janitor and a failing artist.
Marc Shanahan wait, he failed at being a failed artist?
That's right. You have to be a special kind of artist to fail at being a failed artist, but that's Kevin for ya.
this is my favorite drama plot
Marc Shanahan lmao im done
Marc Shanahan don’t forget his drunk friend babysitting Job and the doctor one oh yeah don’t forget his *CHECKERED PAST*
As a mother, I 100% trust Kevin to babysit my infant.
I think that kind of decision making makes u a bad mother lmao
Desperate Housekevin
Marc Shanahan you predicted the future
You predicted the story of jimantha and the mailman
“it looks like the antichrist”
my older sister at me when i was a baby
Mother Simulator but I have no parents
Extry read the text you wrote slowly you feckin idiot
It’s not *Baby simulator*
I had no idea what the video is about , this was the first thing that came to my mind so I agree with being a feckin idiot
Extry well now you’re making me feel like the feckin idiot
That's why we need communism , we all are feckin idiots
Considering the fact your name is James , man on man action should be ok
"I'm a mom not a superhero."
I didn't know there was a difference.
Kevin is such a great mom...
Kids ...
@Cyberpunk yea
@Cyberpunk it is a good place what do u mean???
Until the fucker throws the baby in the trash can and calls it a day.
@Cyberpunk Define joke
3:55: You left your box of cocaine on the stove
DADDY
No
Mom
OwO Daddy~
Aspen Calloway mommy
Ｍｏｍｍｙｕｗｕ
"It's like curling, but with a baby." ROFL!
I think this is a pretty accurate description of motherhood.
*He pooped on his baby.*
@@watevr4evr your point?
Just solidifying cthulhe's point
@@watevr4evr fair enough
i rarely comment on anything but i am currently very depressed and you managed to make me laugh and i am so thankful. youre a blessing to youtube :D
Good luck. I have depression and panic disorder too and it really sucks. It does get better eventually. It takes time and treatment. Hole you can improve soon.
Kitti Plajner you're right, he is a blessing.
Why is it always the pretty girls having depression?
Static Raizore I feel like it’s all sorts of people that get depressed. Depends on a ton of factors imo
Static Raizore I guess it's because pretty girls having depression get attention other depressed people don't
Kevin, you humor makes me die laughing every time. It deserves a 100 on Metacritic
i love these goofy games he plays, more like this.
Ironically, I got a birth control ad. No need to tell me twice 👍
DragonMaiden77 That's not ironic !
DragonMaiden77 same
I got one too. I guess because throwing your baby in the washer and toilet is "illegal" and "child abuse"
Lmao I gotta Trojan ad 🤣🤣🤣
Comedy night but it’s actually just my attempt at being a mother
Happy Mother's Day, Kevin.
But you didn't dry the baby?? How rude
But the baby likes being MOIST
A washing machine is just a big metal womb roller coaster XD
Dryers are very expensive don’t shame
@@ahok3314 dryers are my kink don't shame
Wiggity Wack :o
2:09 Kevin, you summed up parenthood perfectly haha I'm not crying, these are tears of joy over my son.
Jim Pickens: Begins
He was so cute.
Pacifier with Vin Diesel ? More like Bore:Ragnarok
Kevin should be the president of all mom groups with his prestigious child rearing skills
Where's the husband constantly demanding food and sex at?
Ethan Steel I guess it's the balance against every other guy who doesn't bother to stay around at all. Nah I'm just kidding, we have our choices. Not being born womb-free that is
@Ethan Steel sad
@@gircakes
Wow
Are you saying if you _dont_ do whatever your husband wants _you're_ the one to blame if your husband cheats on you?
That's low.
@@nerysstuart4210 Well, I mean, the only reason to get married in the first place is for free food and sex... so without that, there really is no point at all.
You're basically just wasting everyone's time.
Other than that, there's really no benefit in it for the man.
@@chaosmastermind "the only reason to get married in the first place is for free food and sex"
Jesus christ!!! Are you even listening to yourself??? Haven't you ever heard of _love?_ While I myself don't necessarily believe in love at first sight, or "one true love for everyone," that doesn't remove the fact that people do fall in love! If it weren't for love, I wouldn't have been born. If it weren't for love, YOU wouldn't have been born!!
Can I throw him? 😂 I can!
Unreal
Every healthy baby is aerodynamic, there's only one way to really test that...
As a child, I can recall firsthand, my mother snatching my bottle filled with scalding water and throwing my dirty diaper at me.
I love how the instruction on the wall is just old german cursive and explains the cursive itself 😂
Detriot: Become Human season two.
Takes a dump on the baby:
"Thats your exploration for the day."
Mommy, more like daddy, more like Avengers: Infinity Bore
More like Bore Ragnarok
That baby face is going to give me nightmares. Never going to have one of my own now.
Call me Kevin but my name is Jesus
thats right, i forgive you my son
Why do you want us to call you Kevin if your name is Jesus ?
My fathers will, son. I don't understand him either
Is the movie 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' about Call Me Kevi?
Karen Anderson You bring shame to our mother Kevin.
Outro Br krl que maravilha
5:29 I'm hecking dying. Kevin, play doctor simulator and save me.
Kevin’s real job calling is to be a Mom
0:17 I happen to be able to read this and it's just an uncomplete text about that font in German (well, it's an old German font, that's why it's not in English)
It says "Bisweilen wird jede Form der deutschen Kurrentschrift als Sütterlinschrift bezeichnet. Dies liegt wohl daran, daß die Sütterlinschrift diejenige Form der deutschen" and it's taken off of Wikipedia.
Well thats cool actually!
@@thanos8641 who knew Thanos found Wevena's factual comment as cool. Even though Thanos killed his adopted daughter in Infinity War
@@robertfletcher452 That was a movie. I dont even have children or plan on having any. Why does everyone on earth hate me because of that shitty entertainment company, Marvel???
Baby antichrist
Stawp commenting
Daniel Campbell IK I JUST HAD SO MANY THINGS TO SAY
I get you
Keke YA IK I THOUGHT OF THAT LIKE 5 MINUTES AFTER AND IT WAS KINDA TOO LATE BY THEN
LMAO
5:26
😂Best part😂
3:52 Is this a baby bottle with Umaru chan on it?
Space Turkey it sure is
Space Turkey you got a good eye!
Im glad im not the only one who saw that
i noticed too! i was gonna comment about it but i checked to see if someone else did first lol
Omg I commented the same thing 'cause I didn't see any comments. Now to delete it!
Damn it, Kevin, I Feckin’ Laughed for 11 Minutes 22 Seconds Straight.
i thought this was a fall out boy song title for a sec
Mother Simulator? More like, I Tormented my Satan Child: Simulator
More like Bore Ragnarok (you did set me up, so it’s partially on you)
Kid grows up wondering why he's really into golden showers.
*Gadush*
TheVenator is that a Bill Wurtz reference?
Morten Heidelbach .-.
GADOOSH! Acurate representation of white people, including me, trying to make baskets.
0:05
*Spits an excessive amount of lemonade everywhere*
I can not believe how hard I laughed. I almost died I was laughing so hard.
Lucifers orign story
Wow he almost got a basket....so close
I haven't laughed so hard in ages. This channel is amazing!
We should start saying "mommy" instead of "daddy" now, I guess.
Everyone in the comments call me daddy, but it’s 2018 what if I wanna be a mother?!?!?! Never change never change
*IRONIC THIS WAS POSTED 9 MONTHS AGO*
O h
I never knew I needed to hear Kevin saying GADOOSH in a frustrated voice until now lmao that was the best thing ever
Daddy? Did someone say Far Cry 5?
*celebration music "i like the celebration of my baby being washed" lmao😂
PAPI
I NEARLY PASSED OUT WHEN U PUT THE ROBOT BABY IN THE TOILET AND SAT ON HIM LOL
Mother simulator, more like...
Bore Ragnarok
Navstaa 321 I've been only watching this channel for short time. Can you explain this joke?
Go to his comedy club videos, in one of them is the origins of bore ragnorok
"This joke is way overused on this channel and needs to die already"
More like
Bore Ragnarok
No
hahaha, never gets old, like a cancer kid
14 years I’ve been a parent, I’m just now finding out I coulda been putting them in washing machine this whole time!? Boy Kevin knows all the parenting hacks! Thanks!
GUH-DUSH
Cubone Club
“oh fecking hell... GUH DUSHHHH!”
Lol I got a birth control ad before the video
Mummy Kevin 😤💦💦💦💦💦
stop
No
I’m dEAD lol
Call Me Kevin I’m sorry mummy💦💦💦💦
I only watch your Medieval Sims series, but if you start a series of this, I would definitively watch it! It made my day!
Thank you daddy
Kevin trying to fill the bottle and constantly dropping it is a mood
"When I was a child I was lucky to get fungus" ~Kevin
I'm trying to write something sad for school, and its really hard since im watching this right now. Ah.... im gonna keep on watching.
Id let kvn be my dad anyday
When he threw the pissed filled diaper at the baby I almost cried 🤣
WHAT AM I WATCHING
Aspen Calloway GOD
A supermom raising an antichrist baby
Every. Minute. Of this video. I absolutely LMFAO'd. At times, because of what was going on, but mostly just because of your reaction to it. I can die happy now. Or at least, I never need to watch another TH-cam video as long as I live. Nothing will ever be as funny as this.
I’m calling CPS
"It's like curling, but with a baby!" xD
"hope this child likes drinking boiling water" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Omg there is more!!! Is this a series!!😳 Please make it one (like a mini series)...btw I love your voice Kevin. I can't believe there's an entire country of people that talk like this. One day I must go
The maker of this game is a fan of anime
I love how you shout out everyone on patreon. It shows that you give a fuck, and its a nice touch. Maybe I'll join that list when I'm out of college.
7:11 Am i the only one who notices that *thats Himouto Umaru-Chan?*
Wait actually i never noticed her
7:27 - 7:33 made me burst out laughing. “awh you want a green one with triangles. do you’re saying you want me to put you up for adoptio”
This video comproves my theory that you are Jim pickes and you are trying to show us that with secret messages in your videos
He's just not old and bald yet.. give it time.
Baby is going to be Jim Pickens
Pickles!? Jim fuckin PICKLES!?? Lmfaoo
Oh gosh this game would drive me bananas 😂 it’s funnier watching you play it anyway Kevin
someone called him daddy I WONDER WHYYYY
5:30 BRUH LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The video didnt even start yet and Im already laughing imagining you play.
Mother simulator> Hogwarts mystery
Regarding your last “job” video, I think I have the perfect job for you.
LOOKING AFTER OTHER PEOPLE’S BABIES!
You do such a great job Kevin, I couldn’t help pointing it out. Fantastic.
im in tears