The Physical Symptoms of Grief
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
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“Grief is unpredictable, and it will go wherever it finds an outlet. If it can’t be expressed emotionally, it may find expression in the body.” (136)
Grief, like all emotions, isn’t just in your head; it shows up in your body in remarkable ways. But most people have never been taught what is common in the grieving process and how grief does show up in your body, and this can leave some people feeling stuck, spiraling through endless grief and pain. Grief has many physical symptoms.
When you learn the physical symptoms of grief, you can be more equipped to address it and work through the process of grief and loss. In this video we’ll learn from grief expert Dr. Dorothy Holinger the author of The Anatomy of Grief, how grief shows up in the body and what we can do to work through it.
Grief does not have a concrete number of stages of grief. But, when you learn about the physical symptoms you can gain more awareness of your body and be more accepting of those symptoms of grief and loss.
I recently recorded an interview with Dorothy about how grief impacts the body, but unfortunately some of the video files got corrupted, so I’m summarizing our conversation here. The full length interview is on my podcast. tinpodcast.podbean.com/e/how-...
I’m not going to pretend that grief is some easy thing that can or should be fixed, but there are some things you can do that can help your heart and body work through the suffering.
00:00 Introduction
01:03 All courses 40% off
02:02 How grief impacts the brain
02:46 How grief affects the heart
03:56 Grief tears
04:48 Decreased pleasure after a loss
05:01 Loss of appetite after a loss and difficulty sleeping
05:25 Weakened immune system while grieving
05:40 Headaches and body aches during grieving
05:56 Other somatic changes with grief
07:05 When you're not allowed to mourn
07:44 How to deal with grief
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In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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Grief isn't just for death... Huge life changes can leave you grieving for the future you lost.
can't agree more
Of course ur right
I feel like this may be happening to me x
True, and I'm so sorry!
Yes I know exactly what you are saying😢
We lost our only child on August 27 this year. He was only 14 yrs old. I do not want to get out of bed most of the time, much less live anymore. Thank you for you channel. You seem like you are a wonderful loving person who really tries to help people. God bless you.
Ohh Steven ..i lost my nephew on aug 28 😢 this yr. Or might he had gone on aug 27 only.dr declared him dead next day.. he was intelligent and playful child and only 8 yrs old.
Only son of my little brother.
I daily feel bad for my brother...i do cry but i am aunt of the child..i can still manage my emotions.. After reading ur comments,i am just imagining what is happening with my Brother and his wife .. every morning their eyes i can see swollen and Red.
Ur comment helped me to understand my brother more. He is smiling daily but i know he is crying inside.
I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏!!!! I lost my husband unexpectedly in July this year and feel insane from it. Have been going to see a therapist and to Griefshare group meetings. Eckhart Tolle and Wim Hof breathing helps me too. God bless you ❤ Take it minute by minute and know that you are not alone 🙏
I am so very sorry 💔 I too lost my only 15 yr old Son. Life will never be the same. Just know you are not alone.
So sorry for your loss. Lost my partner, mom, and job in a five-month span of time two years ago. Still trying to create a reality I want to be in. I send you and your wife love and healing energy. 💜As others have said, know that you are not alone and just take it minute by minute.
💜💜💜💜💜
I lost my husband of 25 years
My heart goes out to anyone going through grief
It is the worst!!!
💕💞
I lost my husband of 35 years…this kind of grief is totally unimaginable..until you are there. Even if you know it’s coming the heartache is off the charts.
I hope you guys are doing okay. I couldn’t imagine being with the love of my life and losing them. I’m so proud of you all for continuing on ❤
I lost my husband of 38yrs together I have a hard time eating sleeping without him
I lost my husband of 24 years today, it was so sudden and unexpected. I feel sick, my heart is like a stone, cold and numb. He was my best friend in all the world. The pain is unbearable.
When your world has been gutted, it's hard if not impossible to "get out and be around people." Physically, emotionally, gutted and reeling, many of us experiencing losses of loved ones can barely cope, let alone try to line up social plans with people who don't want us around anyway because we're a downer. And that's about what I'm going through. People don't realize how crucial it is to reach out to people who are grieving.
I understand your 'being a downer' point and then I wonder why I would want to get around such unsupportive people in the first place. I wish you peace and better people.
That is a good word to describe the pain, gutted! Hard to be happy, unless you have gone thru it you just dont get it!
Same here. I lost my youngest son 10 weeks ago today I have pretty good support but they don’t reach out like I feel they should. I think because maybe they never went through grief like we have. maybe they don’t understand the depth of the pain we have. I lost my brother to suicide. I lost my dad to cancer. losing my child is the worst one of them all. we don’t prepare to bury our children. and so how do we figure out how to live the rest of our life without them, when all of our lives, all we ever did as a parent was love, nurture, and protect them. how do we do holidays with our living children and not fall apart? I reach out to everyone all the time. all of those people who said, if you need anything, let me know. so many people don’t reach out to those people because they think they should be reaching out to me. now that’s not how it works. I literally take them all up on it! I reach out. I say hey can we go get a coffee? I need some joy with my sadness. I also am on bereavement support groups on Facebook. they help because they understand. particularly I’m on groups with parents that lost a child because regular bereavement groups are not the same. I lost my brother, I lost my dad. It doesn’t compare to losing a child. It is so different. It is a piece of you that you never intended on losing. we don’t plan to bury our children. We plan to bury our parents. Reach out to them. I also write on Facebook. sometimes people comment, sometimes they don’t . the first week or two you have hundreds of people liking and commenting on your post, supporting you and comforting you and then after those first two weeks, it’s all gone. so sometimes I get on there and I put on there. I’m still grieving. the world is still spinning, but mine stopped and I still need support. I still need friends to be here for me. This is what I’m going through…and then everybody reaches out again. sometimes we just have to be the one to reach out. and the ones who care, will be there. so if you need help go to a Support group in person, do a zoom support group or a telehealth support group, Facebook support group, Instagram support group, whatever. help yourself. if people don’t come to you, you go to them. God bless Michael’s mom. F23💛🕊️
@@dianathomas1025I'm so sorry that you're going through this. When you say that people don't reach out to you as you had hoped, how would you want them to reach out ? My 22yo childhood best friend suddenly died a few months ago and I wanna support his parents but I'm not sure how. How do you feel towards your son's friends? I'm worried that me being alive might make them feel worse...
The last thing I want to do is be around people. As an introvert, I find it exhausting to have to be in conversation with others at this time. They don't know what to say and often make things worse by what they blurt out.
"You're a strong woman. You'll get through this."
"He's in a better place."
"This is part of life."
"It'll get easier."
My husband of 55 years and I were absolutely "one." Now I am half. I will never be the same. My greatest desire is to join him, but I won't commit suicide. I know he is with the Lord, but there is nothing left for me here on this planet. People don't want to hear such things, and it takes too much effort to be and say what they are comfortable with. I find solitude much more healing than being around people.
When I was about 14 years old my grandmother told me that, several months after her mother died (which happened several years earlier) one of her arms swelled up dramatically. She went to her doctor who asked about recent life events. Grandma told him her mother had died. He asked if grandma had cried yet. She said no. He told her to go home and have a good long cry. Once she did her swelling went away and never returned. I was flabbergasted! My very literal 14 year old self asked, "So that was your TEARS in your arm??" And she said something like, 'It seems so.' I kinda tucked that away in my head for a long time but I am so grateful she told me. I would not have been able to accept that our memories, thoughts, and emotions have a direct impact on our physical health without that background knowledge. Everything I was taught up until that point was that our bodies are completely separate (and should be viewed as shameful) from our 'spiritual' selves, which is the only important part. My parents would have been livid if they knew she'd opened my mind in that way. Thank goodness for grandmas who don't follow the rules!
Thank you. I'm going to be crying a lot today missing mom (Thanksgiving)
thank you for sharing 🙏💞
Thank you for sharing this amazing story. Your gran's doctor sounds like the kind of doctor we all need at the moment
Love this! My grandma was the exact same way! She was my best friend & I'm so grateful for her! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing this ❤
My husband of 34 years was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2018 and passed on 2020. In this period I developed high bloodpressure, had to rely on medication for anxiety and depression and also was diagnosed with cancer.
This was the most difficult period in my life ever and also a very period. Lost friends.
Slowly learning to live without him.
But it is still difficult.
Many people do not understand grief
I have lost over 70 pets over my lifetime so far. That's a LOT of grief! Sometimes I didn't get to cope at all with one, before I lost another. Most people don't think that losing a pet is that big of a deal. But I've had closer relationships with my pets than I've ever had with people. At this stage of my life it's hard to feel anything any more. The worst thing to hear from people for me is... Don't cry. What I'd love is for just one person to be there with me and allow my grief in their presence. Unfortunately people are so uncomfortable with it, we are forced to endure alone.
People don't understand a pet is like a child and it hurts as such when you lose them. I've lost my cat recently and still haven't been able to fully cope with it.
I hope that you are able to accept your grief, work through it and come back whole on the other side.
@@abbasshah1963 Thank you. I'm so sorry about your cat. 🙁
@Abby. I’ve lost 4 dogs, and can’t imagine losing over 70. 😔 We lost one of our dogs, last June, but this loss was different. He drowned in our pool, and my husband tried to save him, but it was too late. I’ve been seeing a therapist, and she told me it was similar to ptsd. I cried every day for almost a month, then on and off for another month. Maybe you can relate having lost so many. 😔 It’s always hard to deal with the loss of a canine kid, but this was the worst. I believe, true animal lovers grieve the same as losing a human family member, or a friend.
@@debbiewalker273 I am so sorry to hear this! I do know that some losses can affect you more than others. When my previous dog died I lost it. I was also told I had PTSD. I couldn't get out of that pit and felt suicidal. Thankfully someone noticed and found me a sponsor for some therapy as I couldn't afford it myself, or I might not be here today. Over the years I have had gerbils, pet rats, sugar gliders, dogs, cats, horses, and ostriches. Each loss affected me deeply, and I was told that with so many over my life I had developed complex grief. I have cried oceans of tears. Even decades later I can sometimes become overcome by a memory of a certain pet. I wish I could say that it gets easier, but it doesn't. I try to remain focused on the current pets I have and how much they need me and the joys that they bring in the present. Sometimes it's difficult not to slip backwards and I've discovered that sometimes my "memory" makes the deceased "perfect" when in reality they weren't. I've also discovered that everyone grieves differently, and that I even grieved differently for different pets. Please don't let anyone tell you how to grieve or that you are doing it "wrong" or taking too long. Only you will know what you need to process it. Sending you supportive hugs!
@@abbykoop5363 Thank you Abby, and glad you were able to get help. 💜
Things I’ve done to help heal from grief: besides crying…a lot
-hug a plush toy
-talk to higher self/God
-write/ journal feelings
-imagine seeing them in my next life
-love yourself❤
Hope this helps!
Very helpful.
Thank you!
I lost my husband during covid and was left with a lot feelings of guilt, sadness, regrets, etc.😢
My mother died. I have had a little success with religion.
One thing that I do is to wear a hoodie that my very close personal friend used to wear. that way I can still say that he is able to give me hugs.
For all of you that has lost a child, i feel your pain. We are a tribe united by grief, no one gets it but us 😢
The absolute worst club to be a member of
I lost my daughter in 2005 and it’s a pain that never ends.
@@donnaabrams2570 donna, i also lost a daughter. It was one year ago april 6. She is the last thing i think about at night and the first thing in the morning. It should of been me but cancer doesnt care if your old or young. Part of my heart is missing as im sure you know. I keep telling myself one day at a time, but i dont think it will ever get better. As one mother to another i send love to you. Lee auslander
Yes, it's the most difficult. I lost my only son 3 months ago to fentynal poisoning. I'm sorry for all of your losses.
@@jeanninestanfill4352 i am so sorry🙏🏼 One day at a time.
I discovered after the death of my sister that adult sibling loss is not given much if any support. That relationship is not validated and deemed as important as other relationships in grief. There are grief support groups for so many types of relationships except adult sibling loss. It will be three years in January, and I grieve for Nancy every day 💔
I lost my only sibling in 2002 and had the same experience. Everybody was worried about my parents but seemed to expect I wouldn't be affected. I crumbled.
I send you lots of love and a warm hug and my experience that it becomes easier as time passes by. ❤️
My sister died at 38 and it was the same for me. I was 34 and devastated. Unfortunately it must of been for practice because 6 years later it was my mom then about 6 years later it was my brother and finally took care of my dad for 10 years and he died at hime as panned. Just two days of hospice help. I dont know how i came badk. Well actually i never have fully. Good thing i was a loner type and loved animals who replaced my family except two kids who are a good trip
Same For me Cathy My 5 year older Sister will have been gone for 3 years in January 2023🙏🏻
I Grieve for her ALOT! I Try not to but cant seem to stop..You are Not alone 💜
Someone said comparison is odious. My brother lost his dog and he grieves every bit as much as me.
Thank you for your comment. I to lost my only brother this past July. I’m trying to come to terms with this death. Grief is grief. I miss him so.
Social contact is the hardest part of getting over grief because other people don't want to be around someone in grief. They avoid you.
True❤😢
I haven't had much help. Either
This is so true and it even applies to your family members. It doesn't mean they don't love you but it's depressing and traumatic to be around anyone in extreme grief.
@@saritamullins8294 I imagine, then, that the family members love themselves much more than the person who needs someone's help.
@@carolynnorton9552 I suppose they do love themselves more than they do the person in grief and I'm sure all family members are not the same. There is an old saying that self love is the greatest love. Maybe it is.
In October of 2018, I lost my eldest daughter to diabetic complications. She was on dialysis during her last year of life. Got an infection that she couldn't overcome, resulting in the amputation of her arm. She died a week later.
4 months later, my home totally burned to the ground. My husband and two dogs did not make it out. I escaped by jumping out of the bedroom window, no shoes on my feet, no dentures in my mouth, just the clothes on my back. The house was a total loss which even took my car. Nothing was salvageable. All photos, momentos, everything gone.
I've never been the same since. I exist and pray that God reunites me with those who I've lost, soon.
love and Light to you 💔
May God send holy Angels to confort you... your story is ... I dont have words, I'd like to take you in my arms ...💖💖💖💖
May all saints and angels watch over You❣
I could not live through that. We are in end days. You will see all of them in perfect recognizable bodies again soon if they were believers.
Losing more then one loved one will change a person
2018 my mother died. I felt hollow and numb for about 3 years. My advice throughout the numbness is to literally exist. You don’t need a plan, make it through 1 day at a time. Exercise, sleep and socialising are all of the most difficult things to do. Nobody has the answer, just listen to your body, if you need rest, rest. If you need a walk, go. If you need to stay under the covers for a week, do it. Eventually the cloud lifts slowly. Eventually you will do 1 extra thing today that you couldn’t do yesterday. During grief the world slows down and I believe we need to listen and embrace the slow pace and to be kind to ourselves.
@Halie C47 as I read your comment I feel how my body is letting go of tension. Thank you. Yes, keep it simple. Listen to what my body says to me. This a note to myself. ❤to all
Thank you for your comment. I lost my mom 2021 it just seems like yesterday. Remembering all the love she showed me as a child. It’s almost surreal that she isn’t with me anymore. Loosing a parent is the greatest pain one can feel. I had the honor to keep her with me all my life and take care of her in her golden years with the help of my oldest son and husband
This reply, been looking for it for two months..no one can do or say anything, just a numbness and deadness that feels like it will never end, like an elephant sitting on your chest..what I just read lifted that elephant for a second, Thank you.
@@arlenesusanarivera7809 God bless you! I miss my parents so much! I think I have complicated grief. The winter months make it harder! Your not alone! Hope you feel better.👌💖
@@tomscerbo1588 thank you.
I lost mom a year ago and she was my only caretaker on this earth whom I can always rely on. I’m watching this at 1:00 am coz I can’t sleep. I can’t feel tastes or eat or do any pleasurable activities as you said. I have been praying n asking God to take me through this or take me too so I can be with mummy. God bless you for giving the solutions for this state I’m in.
💕💞
🥺
all the love to you ❤
My dad died about 6 weeks ago. Most days my body feels so tired, sometimes it feels so heavy like it's full of lead, it makes it hard to move.
I don’t have anyone to be around and that is the hardest part. The isolation is paralyzing.
I hear you sister... same same 😞 much love from Aotearoa NZ ❤
I lost my 39 yr old son 5 months ago. The emotional pain is unbearable for me. I cry every day because I miss him so much, and there is no support system for me. Since the day he died, 6/18/22, I wanted to go somewhere and just scream until my voice goes hoarse. Now his father is in the hospital because he recently had a stroke. I have been battling congestive heart failure for years so the stress and sadness of this loss is crippling me.
Trust God
Denise, I can't tell you how sorry I am for all you have endured in this life. I don't know about you but my only hope and prayer is that I am able to join my son soon. That is my faith. I pray one day you are with you loved ones. God bless!
After my sister's death my heart swelled. Now I know why. Grief is overwhelming me.
My younger brother passed away just over a year ago I cant accept it I havent spoken to anyone since the funeral I eat only toast I either sleep for long periods or short I dont want to listen to music which has always been my passion I just ache inside and out nothing is of interest anymore.!! Thankyou for your video..!
❤
I know it hurts but I always remember that one day I too will pass on and met my loved ones again we are not here as long as we think we are so look forward to the reunion
Grief Symptoms
1. How grief shows up in the brain 2:00
2. How grief affects the heart organ 2:42
(intense happiness can also enlarge the heart 3:40)
3. How do tears play into the grief? Are they healing 3:56
4. Decreased pleasure 4:47
5. Loss of appetite and difficulty eating 4:58
6. Difficulty sleeping and insomnia 5:17
7. Temporarily weaken the immune system 5:22
8. Headaches and other body aches are also common after a loss 5:38
What to do about these changes? 7:40
1. Exercise
2. Make sleep a priority
3. Good nutrition
4. Social connections
5. Pleasurable activities
Hope this helps everyone
Thanks! It’s so nice of you to do this. Happy Holidays!!🎄🎄🎄
Thanks, Super Grover! Love your name!
Thanks for that info!👌💖💖
🙏🏽
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lost my first born & only daughter 3 years & 10 months ago. She was 35. I have to force myself to move forward each day. It’s awful! Sending love to all. 🌸💗🌸
Deepest condolences.
@@jenine3124 Thank you so much!
I’m no where near that but I had a miscarriage after carrying my first and only daughter. Four weeks later I got diagnosed with cancer. Grief sucks. I’m really praying for you honey.
@@krisjackson6567 I’m so sorry about your sweet daughter. That’s so hard! 💔 I’ll be keeping you in my prayers also. 🌸💗🌸
💛
I lost my husband almost 5 months ago. When he was dying, I realized that he no longer had a future in that body. My spiritual beliefs are another story. I started to grieve then. I scream cried in the car. I felt that the breath.was being sucked out of my body. I started to believe that I had to manage my grief. There was sometimes too much. I have embraced it at times and distracted myself at other times. It isn't done with me but it is getting better. Writing this also helps. Grief is a part of life. I wish to understand.
Sorry for you
I feel exactly the same
I totally understand
I wish you all the best!!!
I lost my husband almost 2 months ago and I completely understand these feelings rage one day and feeling semi-normal the next it's just crazy. I feel like I died too they just didn't bury me.
I cried so much when my lovely mom passed away, I thought I had ruptured my heart, many many times.😢😢😢😢😢🙏🏻
I think having time to grieve before the physical loss just gives us extra time to grieve. We still have to work through the whole process.
Lost my husband 3 years back due to braincancer. Was married for 34 years. Still struggle to accept it.
I'm watching this at 5am having lost my 2 sons sleep is impossible even though I am so tired.❤
God bless you and your sons, Polly. I'm so sorry. May they rest in peace.🙏🕊❤
If it is any encouragement, we can reunite with them through dreams. Go see them,. Sleep.
3.29.19 my 3 school age children were killed. I don’t cry everyday. Maybe just 6 out of 7 days. I can only imagine what this does to a parent/mother, on a cellular level. 😢😢😢
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. May your three precious angels rest in peace.🙏🕊❤
My heart hurts for you. Please stay well darling. Sending you thoughts of love and support.
I lost my three year old grandson this past summer. The holiday season is just brutal. There are days I just cry. My family is shattered.
so deeply sorry for your loss, Pamela
Lots and lots and lot of BIG HUGS!!!!
I lost my son in 2004 and to this day my stomach is a mess, literal physical pain still occurs all these years later. Going to the cemetery to visit your child's grave takes a toll for a lifetime ...my heart hurts for all losses of family, friends, pets, strangers 💔 😢 life is brutal. I've learned to stay in prayer and realize the reality of pain and suffering manifests in many ways 🙏
I’m sorry for your loss Layne. I lost my son last year and it feels like it’s NEVER going to be ok. Hearing you say you’re still feeling the symptoms after all this time makes me feel so sad but less alone I guess. Seems like such a long time to be in pain. Grief is a constant companion
Im soooooo sorry!. I really do feel your pain. I wish I could bring back your loved one. I only hope an pray we can be with them soon!🙏
@STEVEN life is brutal but yes the constant HOPE of seeing them again is a joy to think of ❣️
I had to put my cat to sleep on thanksgiving 22, she was 12 years old, it's 2 weeks now, and I'm feeling every emotion, and watching this has brought back it all back.Im still waiting for her ashes. She passed away from cancer but it was quick. 😭🐈⬛👋💕🇦🇺
Sorry cokie5. They are family and you are grieving... I lost Tammy to cancer a year ago and I really miss her .
My 15 year kitty died in August ‘23. My heart is in pieces.
All these things can also happen when someone experiences abuse. I have all the symptoms you mentioned and then some from a marriage with a Narcissist. I have CPTSD, Panic Disorder, Anxiety disorder and many mental and physical ailments that developed during my married years. I’m no longer married to him, but the trauma is still very much alive as are my health issues from it, including Hashimoto’s. Grief isn’t just when you lose someone to death, it can be caused by other reasons as well. I was grieved daily by the abuse I suffered as well as watching my children suffer.
I agree with you alot of these symptoms occur when you are anxious and depressed 😔
Your story is my story I will pray for you; send blessing for healing though jesus christ our living God; 😊
@@lisaperkins7807 thank you sister. May Jesus bless you and keep you as well.
You're not alone with this type of grief.
My father passed with ALZ in 2017. Mom (Vascular Dementia) and grandma (Cancer) are both 96 lbs and racing to the finish line. I am a full time caregiver for mom. I am about to lose my mind...Anticipatory grief is horrific. I fell asleep watching so will re-watch. :/
What a grief! I was thinking, this burden is also due to the love you have invested. You may feel consumed by this burden but it is such a noble, holy thing you do. To be emptied is to make room for something holy. To care about the dying is a transformation toward the best of being human. You make me think of the exhaustion a newborn endures as he struggles toward life. This is your finest hour. I’ve lost son, daughter and beloved husband . It was as you said, losing my mind. I am a different woman now. The world is sweeter and I have an army in heaven that will ensure I’ll see the face of God and He will wipe away every tear. God bless you. Hold strong. It is the best deed any woman can do for God and loved one. Trust! Trust! Trust in God. He sees.
I helped care for my mum who passed in 2019. For the 8 months before she died, I dont recall laughing or smiling. Almost everyday had issues. I had no happiness, only worry, grief and fatigue. When she passed, I cried for 6 months but it wasnt as bad as i expected perhaps because I had a clear conscience and maybe because a lot of the grief took place before, I'm not sure.
Relatable. Lost her two months ago. Can’t function. Love and hugs to fellow caregivers. It’s a lonely and difficult path. When I can get out of bed someday, I’d like to visit those still going through it so that they can have a shower. Or a ride, or have lunch with someone.
Bless you, taking care of loved ones is so difficult. I took care of my grandpa 6 months before he passed away from dementia in 2020, and it was a very tiring and emotional journey. My mom and I were holding his hands when he passed away and my mom hasn't been herself since. Try to maintain your mental and emotional health. ❤
Sending love to you Christie.
I remember one of my friends suddenly lost her husband in a motor bike accident. She couldn't talk and was told when we grieve or in shock the muscles tighten in your throat. Three years ago I lost my mother - the same thing happened to me. The muscles tighten in my throat.
Same for me😢😮
That's exactly what I'm going through right now! In fact it almost felt like I was being strangled earlier today.
Thanks so much for mentioning this. ❤️💚💜
I’m 62 but I still wish you were my mother-
Thank you for teaching me everything I need to know to be happy and well adjusted!
Better late than never!
Two years and four months ago I lost the love of my life of 34 years I completely shut down, I couldn't attend his funeral, I could not cry, I still haven't, I think of him every day many times, I am now resolved ( I think ) to being in this colourless world where I push myself to try and live some sort of existence for the sake of others, my children, my siblings, my mother, my pets, I can.t seem to live for me it seems that there is no value, I don't think I'm depressed, I don't think I'm anything anymore.
When I lost a son I felt as you. Then I thought this love! How can I put this love for him back in the center of my life? It came to me to live for him. I went to college for him. I became a therapist for him. I tried in every way to be the positive and human and loving person he was. Years later it all became me too. I celebrate life. I love my life as he loved his. I also lost a daughter and then a beloved husband. I’m alone now in my old age and yet, I’ve never had more company. They are all in my rich heart and they are proud of me and wait for me. Life is precious. Baby steps Frances, baby steps.
You aren’t anyone? Ohhh you are every person you will ever love. We are eternally bound, all of us. I wish you joy, peace, love. Baby steps. It’s what every one who loves you wants for you.
@@Donna-cc1kt Wow Donna! Words cannot convey the meaning of your losses. Your awesome insight and wisdom are truly humbling and Godly in the utmost spiritual way. Thank you for sharing.
My deepest sympathy......
I get it, almost zombie like
When my father died in 2015 (sudden death) my twin sister and I both developed a stutter. Even now if i get upset or stressed out the stutter returns. I miss my Dad EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY ..... I try and cope with my loss by being the strong woman he raised and helping others who are in pain .... my humour which was lost is slowly returning .... i am laughing again and i know that this is what my Dad would have wanted. Sending courage, peace and healing to everyone in pain with their grief. God bless you all. 😘🤗
Losing a spouse thru divorce is as intense grief as death. Ten years later I’m still suffering. Death causes heartbreak but when your life long partner abandons you, nothing helps the grief.
Yes agree
Twenty five tears here, it’s reassuring to see someone else who understands the pain and grief of divorce. Prayers for you.
Yes very true. When someone dies and is physically taken from you in that way, it was (usually) without their intention to be away from you. But in divorce they chose to abandon you/your life together/your future. It is a different kind of grief and it still hurts very deeply. I’ve been there.
It's very hard because people aren't as understanding as they would be about bereavement through death. Also it's more complicated as you also have to deal with the sense of rejection on top of the loss.
I lost my beloved partner 11 months ago. I had the phone call that shatters your life. The pain is indescribable, I carry on because I have a beloved cat relying on me. I'm navigating the ocean of grief as best I can. Fortunately I'm Spiritual so I know he's around me, holding my hand, I keep a journal so we still talk. I'm no stranger to grief but this is on a different level, we doted on each other, he was my strength and stay. On top of PTSD, which he was helping me with 💔💔💔😞
I lost my 42 year old son April 28 2020 and I put on 40 lbs and living isn't very important to me anymore. I survive by the help from my faith in Jesus. I am counting on seeing my son again one day.
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I am believing with you.🤗
I still think I'm going to see my mother again too after I leave here.
I wish for you to be reunited with him when Jesus decides that it is the right time. Maybe until then we need to be preparing. May God Bless you.
This is my fourth Christmas without my beloved husband, who died from secondary cancer. Eighteen months later, I was diagnosed with cancer also. I continue to mourn the loss.
Sending prayers and best wishes your way. I pray that you beat the cancer. My dad just passed in February from lung cancer. Within 2 weeks of him being diagnosed he was gone. I just shake my head in disbelief everyday. My poor mum lost her husband after 53 years of marriage. He was only 71. I just thank god he didn’t suffer for long as what we seen over the 2 weeks was more than enough. 🙏🏻🙏🏻💖
Take care. Avoid stress, take vitamin C and kill the cancer cells through fasting
I also lost my 24year old son in a road accident i also did not want to get out of bed i when i did i would drink a bottle of wine just to go back to sleep,, that was 6 years ago it will get better eventually , keep strong bless you jacinta
Lost my husband in 2017, retired and moved to an area where you don't have to be rich to own a house. It's been an overwhelming responsibility to own my own house, especially when I live alone. Then I lost my sister, who lived in the town I retired to, a few months ago. She was so supportive and loving just after I moved up here and through the isolation of the Covid pandemic. After a tooth extraction a few weeks ago, I've had debilitating panic attacks, which has made me weak, shaky and have no appetite. My therapist says that grief can do this. So can childhood PTSD, a lifetime of worrying and hardship, and sudden scares. A tip for all those who grieve, are depressed or anxious - Stay away from alcohol! Intoxicants of any kind can mask the unpleasant emotions and physical discomfort you must face and process. It can make things a lot worse! It is better to meditate or pray with love, gratitude and trust. It's important to take care of yourself as though you are ill. Because grief and anxiety can truly make you physically ill.
When my mom died in 2020 of brain cancer it affected me so much. I have severe anxiety from it, it has affected my talking, walking and writing
Lost my father to a brain tumour 5 weeks ago. Lost my mother to cancer 4 days ago. My mother was my best friend. We did everything together. She wasnt diagnosed till a week before her death. The Dr's failed us. I miss them both deeply everyday
After my mother passed in 2018, I remember going to the newspaper office to get a copy of her death notice to give to my employer. Even though it was the middle of June, everything looked gray and bleak to me, like the deep of winter.
I saw and felt everything in a dull yellow tinge. I’ve never told anyone because I thought I was crazy. I’m glad I saw your post.
I had broken heart syndrome twice. First time 6 years ago when my 19 year old daughter died in a car crash and the second time when my then 18-year old daughter was diagnosed with leukaemia.
I'm so very sorry Christel for your pain and am sending you kind, gentle thoughts.
Such a correlation between grief and depression.
I remember a time when I was going through a difficult marriage and I went for a massage session for relief. Half way during the session whilst she was massaging my arms I just burst into uncontrollable crying. I was so embarrassed! The masseuse was lovely and she explained that it was trapped/suppressed negative emotion in my body that she was releasing for me. It makes perfect sense! I'm divorced now and much happier 🥰
So interesting…I’ve had three massages in my life and during all three I began to quietly weep and then sob. I could not stop but the masseuse (all different ones) continued to “work” on me. I noticed every time there was always a box of tissue near my body and I used them without hesitation. All my life, I’ve valued my ability to deal with stress, but now I well know that stress resides in every pore of my being and my smiles and kidding around does not fool myself.
Wow!!!
There is Really something to that for sure! A very good massage therapist I’ve gone too said he’s had lots of people start uncontrollably crying, or even laughing, during their massage. Sometimes I contemplate what a beautifully different healthy world we’d live in if everyone got a massage regularly. I’m glad you are free from that difficult marriage 🙂
@@oliviacasino8888awesome comment 💕 well said wisdom
Lost my mom & brother in 15 months. Holidays are brutal. Can't fill void. What they're saying is so true. One day at a time. ❤️
I lost my mother 12 years ago, i was numb for 10 years after that, in denial.
It has been only two years since ive started to accept the fact that she is gone and i am trying to vent it out.
To let go of trapped emotions and trauma that are so mature in age is very hard, it feels as if a body part is being separated from you.
Ive found great relief in your videos, thank you for your free content. 💖
Lollipops ex
I've handled a lot off loss over the past 10 years very good till a month ago when my dog died everything went bad. I realized that I never dealt with all the previous losses and losing her was the straw that broke the camel's back. I experienced just about all the symptoms you discussed. I am still very tired and battle to concentrate. Thanks for this info.🌻🌾
I feel the same, my dog is different, he’s a part of me, I’m terrified of losing him.
I lost my husband of 16 years this past February. His cancer diagnosis didn't even give him 18 months of life. We had just bought our first home together. During his illness I had to have open heart surgery. (Today is the anniversary of the surgery) My heart is truly broken. It's just 9 months this week and with Christmas coming on -- which he loved more than anything -- I'm walking a thin wire. I force myself to get out of the house, force myself to talk to family. Force myself to work. I worked as a hospice nurse and also am a suicde survivor from a previous relationship. Dawning age 60, it's hard to project a new life, a new beginning. I have very intense panic attacks, especially in the morning, but they are lessening.
Very sorry to hear. Psalm 34:18
Bless you, Tom. I imagine he is with you somehow in spirit.
I'm so so sorry Tom. 😭
My darling sister passed in June, 2014 and my Mom passed six months later. I’ve never been the same! My heart is somewhat enlarged.
Just lost my Momma a few days ago. Thanksgiving is going to be bittersweet today. Thanks for sharing this video today. Have a blessed thanksgiving with your beautiful family❤
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Love and hugs. 💛
Sorry for you loss,God help
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Last August I had lost my 17yr dog Rico. Whenever I discuss grief with others they always talked about the emotional part, but they never mention just how much pain physically you experience too.
I'm so relieved to hear that losing your sense of taste is normal! I actually thought I had covid because everything just tasted bland. For a good 2 weeks after my body was constantly aching and sore and nothing seemed to help except time
He was truly the first 'real' grief I had experienced and I truly thought my body was just gonna give up and die. Months later I still tear up thinking about him, but I know that I needed to allow my body that time to grieve and miss him ❤🕊
Sending love. I don’t know how I’ll survive when my dog dies. She is all I have. 😪💔
Oh yes, the grief about losing animals is very,very real. I still mourn my first little cat Eliza - even though many others have bounced and are still bouncing through my life…❤
Oh god, I didn't realise about the loss of taste. I lost my soul dog Amaya (aged 15.5) in September and a few weeks later also thought I had covid although I tested negative because I couldn't taste anything for over a week. I could have eaten soap and not known. I can't quite believe that I am able to still be alive when he is not. Sending hugs to you.
My doggo passed away as well and even though I had experienced grief before, I never experienced the physical side of grief. She was such a part of my daily routine and my joy. I would cry and not be able to breathe, I would get panic attacks which I had never had before when I thought of a life without her. I couldn't go to sleep and I couldn't wake up if I did. It was all so painful. I am so sorry for your loss, the grief is real.
@@QurVgn I agree,,my 11 yr old sheepdog is my best friend and only family....not "just a dog"
Cortisol causes abdominal swelling. Unshed tears cause anger, irritability and anxiety. It also affects the Maebodium Glands of the eyes 👀 causing blephorablasty, sinusitis and pist natal drip. You age before your years to the extent that people may be shocked when they see you after a few months. Deep Depression. Inability to speak properly. I am talking about the loss of a child. Triggers are with you day and night.
I was diagnosed with broken heart syndrome when my dog died. He was my angel and saved my life.
I understand. My beloved dog and inseparable companion of 14 years had to be euthanized two weeks ago. This is very difficult to get through. Wishing you well.
I’m in it too. May we all heal.😢
What was your symptoms? Blood clots, blocked arteries, high blood pressure? Blockage build up in the aorta?
I felt this was going to happen to me a couple weeks after my baby passed away. I wasn't sleeping at all or eating. I was crying every single day. I would shake all day and felt like my heart was going to give up on me whenever I got out of bed. I actually wanted god to take me because I couldn't bare the pain. I've lost several family members, had my heartbroken from relationships, nothing compares to this pain. I have no kids. She was my child. I'm terrified of moving on without her.
I hope you are doing better.
In college my roommate had an illegal abortion that was a horrible experience and when she returned she started passing out cold. In the car, the hallway, at the table. I asked her if she had told her boyfriend every detail from beginning to end and she hadn’t. After she did the fainting stopped.
Twenty years later a young physical therapy client of mine said she had been literally going blind for short bouts after a scary car accident she had by herself while her parents were out of the country. Once it happened at a job interview. I suggested she tell her story to a trusted friend and after she did she was fine.
I’ve often wondered if this would work with soldiers and PTSD. But I think they would have to choose their safe person, and not leave ANYTHING out. That’s important.
My beautiful Labrador, Lucy, was my best friend for 11 years. She was my shadow. When she got ill with cancer, I had to make the toughest decision to say goodbye, and it broke my heart. It broke my heart in a way that I have never been able to get over her death and the loss I feel. It has been 5 years since Lucy left and not a day goes by without my thinking about her. It physically hurts my heart.....I have lost my parents, two siblings and many close friends, but I cant seem to get over Losing Lucy. I cant even cry!
I am so sorry. I truly understand and feel your pain. I lost my beautiful kitty Posh two years ago this Christmas. She was 15 years old, then her son last month - Early Grey. Then two kitties went outside my house and never came back a month ago. They are my babies and I still pray for the two kitties (Mortimer and Squeek) every night. I weep for them! Typing this, I am crying. Your Lucy was your baby. You have memories of her no one else will have. I give you the BIGGEST hug and hold it. Your grief is so real and raw. She showed and gave you unconditional love that cannot be replaced. You don't ever have to let her go. And when (if) you do, it is okay. She will ALWAYS love you!
I’m the same. I’ve lost my whole family but when my dog died I couldn’t stand up for months and even four years on I’m so slow and breathless. I used to go to the gym five times a week. I just feel all my insides are ripped out. I walk round like a shell. 💔
@@California265 i feel your pain, i am so sorry
I hear you and feel you. I lost my dog a month ago and The day I set her free I got drunk with my 2 best friends...I was in complete denial, couldn't handle the pain. It was only when I collected her ashes that I was able to really cry and now I can't stop xx
You've had many tough losses! Be good to yourself Saying goodbye to pets& family , friends is so hard. Grieving is long process! Never give up and God Bless!🙏🙏💖
After heartbreak I aged 10 years in a year. It manifested itself all over 💔
I lost both of my beloved adult children suddenly in different accidents. My 36 year old son in a horrible multiple car crash 4 years ago. My daughter recently 4 months ago during an Asma attack! I fainted and was taken to the hospital due to chest pains … It has been a horrible roller coaster… I cannot sleep and my Dr. prescribed Klonopin and Ambien … He told me to the importance of sleep and a form of exercises… I still cry almost every day 😥😭😢🙏🏼
I’m so sorry, what a tragedy. My heart goes out to you. I lost my 18 y/o daughter this year and will never be the same. We miss her so much.
@@lsen9015 Oh my dear!! Thank you for answering and your condolences 💐 😞 I am sending mine as well for your terrible loss!! This shouldn’t be like this, our children should be the ones to bury us parents no us burying them … 🙏🏼😢
I'm so sorry ❤
@@lsen9015 so sorry to hear that ❤
my condolence to you
I lost my special needs daughter nine months ago ,We were always together she had Rett Sydrome,Epilepsy and Scoliosis, she was non verbal ,I miss her gravely, I have just really started eating better and coming out of my back and forth see saw state,It's hard losing a love one ,nothing feels the same. 🙏 🙏...
I'm so sorry. May your daughter rest in peace. Sending you a big hug.🙏🕊❤
@Sun Shine Thank you so much..
When I experienced the reason for my grief right after it happened, I literally felt my heart crack, as if broken. It was a literal sound and feeling in the region of my heart! I was shocked when it happened. Also I had shut down right afterwards, couldn’t/wouldn’t cry or speak of it at first (and I had young children that I felt I couldn’t fall apart in front of them) and over time I developed a muscle hardness like a literal lump in my throat. I used to sing all the time before, but after the event, my voice box was so constricted, I couldn’t really sing anymore, my voice was weak and uneven. And yes, the numbness is real too. Things that used to give me joy had me feeling numb. Exercise, sleep and social interactions were a long time returning and still aren’t at the levels they were before. I’m still going through it. It’s been 6 years.
I understand. When my husband died of cancer, I had partially grieved for three years already, but was still unprepared for being unable to sing or even listen to music for a read afterwards.
Same thing. that feeling in the throat and the chest pain. I felt like somebody stabbed me in the chest and ripped my heart out. Still get the feeling in my throat almost 5 years later. I've accepted that I have to carry this pain forever. I think we all do. But we get stronger, even if it doesn't feel like it. It's the only way to carry it
four years for me and i understand.
@@sabinekoch3448 ❤️
@@misslayer3340 ❤️
My son was murdered 5 years ago. Set up by his girlfriend. The shooter got a plea deal and she got away. I’m bitter, depressed, angry, etc…I spent last year fighting cancer, pulmonary embolism, IBS…yes, grief will tear your body up! I definitely had broken heart syndrome. My heart literally felt heavy the first year. I had to remind myself to breathe. I also lost massive weight the first year, but then cortisol hormone built up and now I’m bigger than I’ve ever been! I just want my son back! 💔
Your son is in your 💔 keep him close to you ✊
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Prayers for God's Peace.
Grief has definitely caused physical issues within my body and I agree with you that the heart feels heavy.....for a long time.
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@@Kimberly-ul1ph thank you! Prayers for you too🙏🏽🌷
😥🙏🙏🙏
I am truly sorry for your loss. Only a grieving parent can understand, as i am one. Life can be unfair, we have proof of that! Sending love and prayers to you. 🙏🏼
I lost my mum 6 and a half years ago. I was 5 weeks pregnant. My mum never knew. I spent the rest of my pregnancy pushing down my grief in case it hurt my baby. That baby is now a healthy 6 year old but I have had so many chronic “illness “ for 5 of those years. I think I didn’t grieve properly. I’m thinking about and missing my mum so much at the moment.
I’m so sorry. Sending you a digital hug ❤
I’m so sorry to hear that. I wonder if you’d be open to writing to your Mum or talking out loud to her. I know it’s not at all the same as having her there but it might be helpful X
I've been there too. I can't deal with it. No matter what. I cry all the time. Listen to songs. Nothing really works very well.
My back went out after losing my spouse. The back pain was real, intense, and lasted for two years.
A huge percentage of people diagnosed with MS are diagnosed after the death of a child. I got that diagnosis at 69 when my son died unexpectedly.
Thank you for this. I lost my adored wife last year and am still feeling sad and sick in a way that I couldn’t previously have imagined. But I mustn’t let adorable Moby down, so will eventually bash through it. Your advice is helpful.
My sister died when she was 27 and I was 20. I think I was repressing my grief and thought had was dealing with it quite well. About a year later, I lost feeling in my left leg. I went to a doctor who did some tests, then he started asking me about my life…if I had any deaths in my family relatively recently. I said yes my sister about a year ago. He ask how she died and what her first symptom was. I said she lost feeling in her left leg!! Up to that moment I never made the connection, and that leg never had problems again!
a year after my hubby died i suddenly couldn't breathe. i went to the hospital by ambulance (as i live alone) and spent five days there. then my sister came to take care of me for a while. i'm doing better now.
I just lost my beloved cat and Best friend, Mistletoe a week ago🌈💔😿 Feeling drained and my feet hurt. Thank you💜
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Emma you will never know how much you are helping people understand the human condition. Thank you for all you do 🙏🏻.
My beloved younger brother died suddenly and unexpectedly almost three years ago. I thought that I wouldn’t be able to survive my grief. I decided to start walking everyday and somehow it seemed to help. I still cry when I think about him but the pain is easier to bear.
We were with our friends when we found out their son died by suicide. I have been feeling bad that I just froze and couldn’t move or say anything initially. A few minutes later I felt like I was going to faint. Thank you for explaining that it’s normal to to have no response at first ❤
I lost my only sibling 3 years ago, my sister who was 14 years younger, don't have my own child, she was like my child . Its been 3 years now since I lost her in a very terrible situation, I have unbearable pain every day still and disconnect to the world, not to speak how I felt first 3 years after that terrible death and burial. I can't find anybody who would rely to me, that's the problem, people get scared when they see my intence grief..
Sorry about your loss. It's indescribable when something like this happens. Try to stay positive as best you can and cry when you need to. Rely on God. Reading the Psalms helps also.
We have a GOD who knows and feels what we feel, because he walked the earth in human flesh. He sees every tear. He is close to those with a broken heart and who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).
Will pray for U ,🙏💙
@@ducquessa4618 thank you, I miss her every breath I take .. like I lost a half of me.. that would be good to talk to her now, but she will not answer the phone..
I will pray for you too. 🙏
So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my only brother this year. It is the worst pain I have ever experienced and I feel so alone. I don't have the same circumstances you do but I understand that your loss is painful. My heart goes out to you
I lost my dad 2 1/2 years ago, i was not able to be with him during his final days, and i regretted it. Guilts, for not doing my part as his daughter, grief, for losing him, eat me from within. I developed mysterious illnesses, i feel myself slowly dying. And i welcomed it.
I lost the ability to cry after a family estrangement 17+ years ago. I have the need & desire to cry, yet nothing I've tried has given me the release...
try watching sad movies or listening to sad songs and don't resist the tears. just cry and wail and let it out.
Start watching sad movies , and see if you can cry for others … then you will be able to cry for
Yourself…
I have found writing poetry very helpful…and writing about grief and loss and abandonment, etc. find music that gives you goosebumps!
My husband of 25 years passed away in 2020 from liver cancer.
I buried myself in everyone else's problems and avoided my own.
Now, 3 and a half years later, it's like i woke up out of shock to realize my husband is gone.
Heart pounds, races, feels heavy and actually 'hurts'
Panic attacks, anxiety, insomnia,
No motivation
No desire,
Brain fog,
Anger,
Depression,........
Reading my bible and trying to build a relationship with God is the only way I feel better....
The only time I find Peace.
I am sorry for everyone's losses 💔
My twin sister suddenly passed 6 months ago, after decades of treatment resistant depression and bi-polar. Well, it is uncertain if she facilitated her own death or if it was accidental. I had retired at 57-1/2 a year earlier, to get away from work stress and to spend more time with her. I am so thankful I did. Now I am really struggling with doing things and making decisions -- very uncharacteristic for me. Arthritis makes it difficult to go back to working. In summer I spent my time gardening, now in the deep winter I am struggling with what to do with myself and a complete lack of desire to do anything. Luckily my husband is super supportive and understanding.
sorry & condolence
I lost my grandma four months ago. She was the most important person in my world since i was a little girl, losing her feels like a gigantic rock on top of me crushing my heart and lungs. This last month i got a really bad allergy, my face was all swollen, specially my eyes, i had inflamation everywhere and spent most of my time at the doctor's. Grieving is scary, but reading all your comments makes me feel better. Hope this message does the same to someone else ❤
The mind body connection is so fascinating.
I'm a recovering addict and the baby of 5 - 2 brothers and 2 sister's. My oldest brother drowned in July 2005, then my other brother took his own life in August 2015. Then my dad passed away in hospice from Dementia the following March 2016. Just when you wouldn't possibly think anything else could happen my sister was diagnosed with cancer in 2017. 10 months later she lost her battle in May 2018 due to the chemotherapy compromising her liver. And my we lost our mom just a little over 3 weeks ago. We thought she was getting better & stronger everyday. None of this feels real 😭😭😭 I don't want to feel any of this pain anymore. It's now just my oldest sister and I left...out of 7. I have 3 boys so I have to continue fighting for recovery. I feel like people think I'm making this up because it just doesn't seem possible. You can't make this up 😭 I'm exhausted mental, spiritually, physically and emotionally. Lord, help! 😭💔🙏 Grief is a pain like nothing I've ever felt and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
My oldest brother died in a drowning accident.aged 13...my next oldest brother aged 19 died in another type of accident...& then my youngest brother aged 40 died by suicide....he couldn't talk about our 2 older brothers, not even to me....the pain was too much for him...
The tears is something I have noticed and realized in my own life. When I am stressed, made to feel nervous and my anxiety is elevated my eyes will water constantly. This started when I was very, very young. May have even started at the time my dad died when I was 1 year and 10 months old.
The hearing......I have and do experience this loss of hearing, the muted effect even during highly elevated anxiety.
I have realized my anxiety began way back when I was very young.
You can't fight off grief no matter how hard you try It is what it is I been fighting through it for the past year and no matter what I do it affects you in so many ways
I hate it when someone says, "This, too, will pass. " or "We have to accept our fate. God only knows why he makes these things happen." Such apples and oranges comparison remarks to what's happening to the body, mind & emotion. Thanks for this video. It's opened my eyes to what has happened to me and the therapy I need.
I know what you mean. I didn't like how people ask me, are you feeling better. But I came to realize that what else can people say? Then when was on the other side and trying to comfort someone who lost a loved one I wanted to not say any of those those things. Maybe it's the meaning behind it that counts.
I lost my pet 3 months ago.. we had been best friends for 14 year's and I have been having problems with my heart and now I know why.. I also sleep all the time day and night! Thank you for the information you shared on your channel..
I lost my dog a month ago. I don't compare it to the loss of a child, of course. But I don't have kids and she was my baby, the focus of my life, my daily routine. I feel guilty for not realising she was sick until it was too late. I struggle to find the motivation to get up in the morning, to go out shopping, to socialise with friends. And I feel people think I'm over reacting because "It's only a dog" but for 12 years she was my life. I know it will get better but it's so painful 💔
@@linpollitt8950 Your dog was your baby and I love my pets similarly to my children. We are responsible for our pets in a similar way to children so it's natural and realistic to make that comparison. Our pets don't often let us know when there are health issues. Their health issues are often masked until there are significant changes in their behaviour and disease has progressed. Please don't feel guilty for not realising. Our fur babies are the masters of disguise sadly. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. She was your baby and you loved her and looked after her, focused your world around her. Please let go of any guilt you are feeling. You loved and looked after your girl and she was the centre of your life. The grief will get easier in time, please look after yourself and try to find the motivation to move forwards. Sending love to you xx
@@pamelalaird755 Thank you Pamela for your caring words. I'm getting there slowly x
@@linpollitt8950 Like you Lin, I have never had children but when I lost my Lucy, I was like a mum grieving for her child. To lose a child is the worse thing ever, and I am deeply sorry for all the people that have lost their children.
Thank you for this video. I believe it explains why I feel the way I do. Twenty years ago, we lost our twin daughters unexpectedly. My entire person will never be the same.
Lost my husband 2 years ago in a car accident we were both in. He was only 24. Love of my life. I’m prone to heart issues and have arrhythmia. Last night out of nowhere, my heart went to 135-140 beats per minute. I felt like I was going to die. We went to the ER and there I got a social worker to help me get started on more healing resources. This is the hardest it’s been since he died. I live in fear and sadness every day
The fact that we go into fight or flight mode following a loss explains why grief causes panic attacks in me. Thanks for this enlightening video.
Loss of sleep was barely mentioned, but I struggle with that ever since my loss. My doctor suggested I have PTSD over the incident. All I know is that after all the crying, anger, and analyzing-- after several years I just want to sleep normal again!
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you can find peace.
My mom passed on December 4th of this year. Thank you for your channel
I lost my brother a month ago and everyone gives advice along the line it's not as difficult for you as it is for your mother. Imagine how hard it will be if you lose your partner. Imagine a loss of child. Everyone in my culture stirs towards the parent that are left behind, yet siblings are left out in the cold. I told my coworkers I will be feeling this and they shrugged it off. Just push they say. Life goes on. You will be fine. Headache from the loss is not possible etc. I am not supposed to show grief. Just to get on with life. Mother just doesn't do much and I am supposed to do everything from working a demanding job to paying bills, buy food etc. On top of grief it's exhausting.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is very unfair that your acquaintances are dismissing your profound grief. Perhaps you can tell them how you are feeling. You have every right to grieve.
I am so sorry for your loss and I’m sorry to know that because of those advices it makes you feel not seen and not being heard🙏🏻 I know every individual’s grieving process is different but if it’s okay with you, may I know any suggestion on what might help you with your grieving process or what do you expect from people around you as your support system during this difficult time? Because I also have a best friend who just lost her sister too recently. Thank you in advance🙏🏻
I lost a sibling and pushed through, although I was younger. It manifested itself later in life as projecting my brother’s qualities onto a selfish person. I don’t know how to tell you to grieve so you don’t suffer later on. I didn’t think I needed counseling but maybe I did. Maybe try journaling everything. Hugs.
Proof right here that ppl haven’t learned anything about death/dying & grief/grieving-especially here in US…
SOOOO, since we haven’t been taught shit about it, we don’t know what to say about it, how to offer consolation or empathy and especially COMPASSION…PPL just stuff it down & go along their “not” merry way(s)….it’s unfortunate, SAD and quite pathetic how ppl respond to others’ grief-family or not…and don’t even get me started on pet loss bereavement!!! Try journaling if U can, seek therapy if U feel U can’t cope, there are support groups also-find someplace that is safe to counsel w/others who understand, for your own SANITY!!!!!
~~Blessings & hugs to U~~❤️🙏🌞
@@sharons5144 may sound like a cliche, but this is the one time you really should not abandon your friend. A lot of things may arise and she feels a lot of fear and is whirlwind of emotions. If you can offer a relief from those that would be great. Listen without judgement, don't expect her to be back in her old self as she was before the loss of her sister.We never are the same even if we do move on to live. I know it would help for me just to let deal with this pain, sorrow and feelings, because I already lost two best friends and I know bottling feelings is not good. I think that's what is the issue with people around me. They just expect me to keep it in and carry on as if nothing has happened. They don't understand the headaches, the overall fatigue and exhaustion that set in have to be let out and they have to deal with me being this way for a few months. I bet she is exhausted herself. Questioning her mental health and sanity to boot. I have two friends who are helping me through this one of which has been with me since day 1. Hell, since the moment I got the news. She didn't let me retreat into the shell and kept on talking to me and listening until 3 am. Don't let a day or two go by without talking to her or seeing her if you can and if she doesn't feel like it tell her it's ok and that she can lean on you. Kudos to you for wanting to help your friend. Most of mine have dropped me like a hot potato, yet it's weirdly okay. It is tragedy like these that reveal true friendships. It's best to let your friend vent it all out. Let her cry if she wants to, because all that grief can manifest itself as an issue later on. I did what people around me expected to six years back and that just came to bite me eventually. So, I am letting this flow through me and anyone who can understand is more then welcome.
I compare myself to a barn animal that can’t find there child. For whatever reason the animal lost its child. It’s a horrible sound it makes. Animals are the best teachers. I hate for ppl to remember this way. But that’s how it will be. The woman who cried a lot or was always depressed. But I do try I go fast I clean mow grass clean more I keep going. Thanks for great tips.
Your videos are a blessing to mankind.
I lost my dear dear greenconcure as I forgot to shut the door. I.m.terribly upset n I feel completely shattered. I cry cry cry .i was very much attached than my children. I m guilty
No one knows how I struggle
Now I realise that we should not be too much attached n pour our love
Losing a pet is the most tragic
Ipray that my pet should be safe wherever he is
So sorry for your loss😢
These symptems apply also when you are the victim of a partner who deceived, lied to you and abused you physiologically, mentally and betrayed you for decades.
I agree 100%! It's like grieving for something that will never be... the relationship you hoped for and the person you thought that you were. Also, grieving the partner who hasn't died physically but has died in every other way.
That happened to me too, Gisela. 45 years of marriage. He led a duplicitous life that was exposed only when he had a stroke. He was always a difficult man but I couldn't comprehend the depth of the lies and maliciousness, nor the cruelty of it once it was all exposed. I married as a teenager, now I'm ready for social security, so it is the loss of an entire life, all the time is gone, can never be recovered, and it was all always a lie. Now that I know the truth, I'm relieved for the divorce. But I can never have my life back. I'm trying to figure out how to move forward but I don't care because I'm numb. But I know that's not what I really feel, I just can't feel anything. And when I do start to feel, its just pain.
This is such an interesting subject. I lost my Mom a year ago and since then I have had Covid, the flu, an appendectomy and now lots of digestive problems. I feel tired all the time and have lost interest in most things. Sometimes, I ask the Universe/God how we are meant to go on with our "person." I am searching for meaning. Thank you for the video. I thought I was having bad luck but perhaps all of this is connected to my sense of loss.
Have you allowed yourself to cry more ? I'm unfortunately going to be dealing with the loss of my mom too , as she is ill. My aunt suggested grief counseling early
Have you joined a support group for some help ? God bless you
Go for massage & facial too...volunteer at an animal shelter
Adopt a furry friend . try EFT
“God will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore “
Since my husband's stage 4 cancer diagnosis, I've been struggling with what I suppose is 2-fold. I am grieving his illness and all he is enduring. I'm also grieving about a life without him in it. I'm just on auto-pilot and my body responds to grief with a terrible rash. I went through this with both my parents and it's brutal. Facing loss is something that doesn't get easier with practice and I'm grieving that, too.
Accept the circumstances and you will suffer less. Hugs.
@@tnt01 Do you speak from similar experience?
@@ga6589 Yes. I learned the concept of acceptance and applied to my situation. You will suffer in life when you do not accept any situation you do not want. You do not have to like what is happening, but accepting it with compassion will help you. Death and loss is a part of the cycle of life. Also, your husband and family members do not want you to be sad. All the best.
@@tnt01 it looks to me like you might need a hug too. Big hugs!
It is well. But it’s possible for him to be healed
I lost my mom and grandparents (2 of the 3 unexpectedly) and was betrayed by the person I loved, all within 2015-2017. I am just now finding some help in researching grief and paying attention to my personality and my health - realizing I am dealing with severe grief - something I had written off as depression or anxiety for all these years. Thank you for your videos.
It’s been almost a year since I lost Leesa. The pain hasn’t stopped. I don’t care about anything anymore. I’m not interested in anything anymore. I sleep, I exercise, I try to eat right (lack of appetite), I get acupuncture, I see a therapist and do EMDR, I finally gave in to try meds at Thanksgiving. Nothing seems to help. I’m stuck. Nothing seems to flip the switch or adjust the dial. I can’t concentrate, I have no energy, I can’t watch movies, tv or listen to music. It’s all pain. Everyday is pain. I just want the pain to stop. 😢
I lost my mom six months ago. Thank you for sharing this video ❤ Learning about the many facets of grief has actually been a great source of comfort to me; the more I try to understand it, the less frightening it is.
I lost my soul mate was with her for 8 years and I'm still heartbroken. It never leaves you. It's still moments of breakdowns and floods of tears . They say time makes it easier. Simply it doesn't. The lore you love them the more painful it hurts.
I lost her on the 28th of December just after Christmas.2022. So it's still raw. The physical pain is still there . Still have sleepless nights. Find it hard to keep up with everything.
I lost my soulmate 2 weeks ago, after a short illness. The grief is overwhelmng at times, we were together over 30 years. you are not alone. x
thank you for this compassionate video, I am grieving for the loss of my dad recently, and I found one of the most healing things I did was to feel the emotion of sadness and loss, and cry and sob so hard it hurt