Seasoned divorce lawyer here. This video is spot on! If you get a whiff of narcissistic behavior, DO NOT MARRY. You will end up miserable and dragged through the divorce courts. Stay single! Stay safe!
@Victoria Bergman locked up and humiliation? Narcissism is a response to trauma, that's like saying blame the woman that got raped. Be less dumb, that's how we improve the world.
@Victoria Bergman I agree I always feel like they shouldn't be walking the earth. I had Narc parents and of course went ahead to have all narc partners. To make matters worse my first 10yrs of therapy none of the therapist understood NPD.
I got a ring after 3 months it was so fast but so many red flags lied and fights I felt I was going crazy so I broke up with him and blocked him I know he wanted to trap me he was mean out of no where like bi bolar and big on guilt tripping I pawned the 💍 haha
I ignored all of the red flags, made excuses for the red flags and here I sit after over 30 years involved in an extremely messy divorce. Young folks should be thankful for channels like this that are dedicated to narcissism. I had no idea what a narcissist was. My life would be so different had I known. Narcissism should be taught in schools.
They literally don’t care about you at all. Lol. Getting married is like a icing on the cake. They took you for what you got. I’m glad he chose her over me. She can have him. Lock her down. You saved me! Thanks 🙏
Very true my crazy narcissist ex always hung the marriage carrot in front of me.. thinking he’s some prize. Initially he thought I was perfect - caring, understands him and was loving - eventually he was lazy and nasty to me, his mask fell off so I held him accountable. Suddenly, I was the worst girlfriend he had ever had and marriage was off the table. Thank God it was…
The narcissist I married, clearly wanted to gain my substantial inheritance. Thankfully, I woke up with the DEVINE advice. Greed will cause much heartache, and be fatal .
@@natalijamartina I saw the Red Flags so to speak really early in the relationshit. Narcissists are pros at putting on and off their Mask of deception though. After several slips, the demon mask stayed on a liitle bit too long and I knew it was time to RUN. Run as far as you can!!!!!
I know that feeling. Mine was a reunion ex. He realised I was the only child, therefore when my parents leave this earth everything is mine. He was giving me advice about inheritance too much of it ..made me see red flags and eyes open. Had to end it wasn't the ex for me. Nothing in life is easy, however we do need to use more commonsense and pay attention to ourselves and relationships with others. We're too quick to date, sex, baby and marriage and that's when action starts ..to their eyes they see us as feeble individuals and easy to manipulate. Like Judge Judy would say, STEP BACK AND OPEN YOUR EYES.
Its actually scary to think of what these people are capable of. I layed down strong boundaries about money in my last relationship of just 2 months and that ended. I aint saying she a gold digger….. but 🧐 hmm maybe
I guess I ended up not being a good supply for my ex narc fiance! After he discarded me and moved out of our house, 2 1/2 months later he got engaged and 5 months after that he married her! I just got wind of this the other day...I have been no contact for a year now! He's her problem now! 😊
My narc repeatedly asked me to marry him. The last time he asked me he got in my face about my refusing to marry him. I was discarded 10 days later and within 90 days he was married to the woman he was having an affair with all the while he was asking me to marry him. She is wife number 5. He cannot be alone and must trap his prey. Somehow I think I was smart to say no!😂
Sounds like my ex gf narc. Wanted rush a marriage, told her I won't marry someone that doesn't love me and that she needs go to therapy for some of her narc behavior......narc rage, stonewalling, discard and she had new supply within weeks
With all due respect can I ask you why would you stay with a disgusting narcissist for more than even one month let alone 20 years I'm not being condescending I'm not being rude I'm trying to comprehend your mindset I say that to you with utmost respect with respect did he use some sort of spell on you I'm not joking I'm really not joking I had someone turn around and use control medicine on me and took it out to an Indian reserve so I'm not joking but the thing about it is we non-stop thought and I Non-Stop kept saying there is no way on God's green earth that I would be with a person like you so I know you've done something so could you please with respect clearly give me an answer as to why you was safe with somebody for 20 years please I beg of you help me understand this
@@miss.l.c.minister I had never heard of narcisissm ever in my life. I wish I knew something about it I would of understood the manipulation a lot better and sooner.
Me 2. Don't feel bad. Been with him since 18..He was 32(unbeknownst to me married) and I am 40 now. I hate the wasted time..but delighted to not end up married.
Just about to begin the filing for a divorce after 5 years marriage. I survived 1 discard and as she was planning her 2nd I knew something was up. I learned all about covert narcissism’ and NPD and it fit the profile to a t. I felt betrayed and confused and wrestled with my cognitive dissonance for days. The future and our marriage was a hoax. I asked her, what do I need to do to save this marriage? Her reply “you have to make me your only priority”. That’s when I saw her for who she is. I pierced through her mask and all of the last 5 years finally started to make sense. Channels like these and the stories of others have greatly impacted me and helped makes sense of this. I exhausted myself by doing her bidding, even moved to another state for her. Time to reclaim my authentic self. Thanks so much and hope your healing journey takes you to wonderous places. You’re not alone
1 year no contact. Divorced him 2 years ago. He hoovered me 6 months ago, I didn't fall for it. I was wife no 5, he is getting married to wife no 6... at 62 years???? He tried to get his hands on my pension.
I'm here after breaking an engagement in such a relationship. I still feel guilty even though I know it was abusive. Listening to Jess helps by reminding me that what I 'lost' was unhealthy and was not going to change for the better. It still hurts, though with time and no contact, it has softened somewhat. Stay safe everyone
He told me for years that he was going to marry me, 21 years later still nothing and I am glad! Used to be a goal of mine until he gave me an option spend money on the ring and no wedding, or get a cheap ring and small wedding in Vegas!! 😳😔😣!! Glad I am not getting married!
Sophia, same thing happened to me. We never got married . I met him when I was 16, I’m 36 now. We were engaged but because he didn’t want to be left out, all his friends were getting married.
Biggest clue that you married and or dated a narcissist is how you feel after you breakup. First confused and drained but slowly after healing you feel a million times better and the biggest proof is pictures. Take a look at yours during the relationship right after and then a few months and years later you will recognize yourself back again when looking in the mirror and you will feel stronger than ever, two other major clues over the time after the breakup
Was married to one but got out of it very early on. Grateful he signed the papers and that I never got pregnant by him. He’s remarried and in a foreign country so completely out of my life
I’m praying my baby daddy marry his ride or die ASAP lol he tried to marry me as the last resort because my feet were out the door 😂 soooooooooooooo fkn HAPPYYYYYYYYY I didn’t do that dumb shit GOD IS GOOD 🙏🏿 🙌🏿
Perfect timing for this video, today, Jess! After getting a very long list of everything she wants from the marital home and accumulated marital property including financial, I once again realized that, according to the narcissist “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine and there is no other option”! OMG! 😱 happy Friday, Jess! ☺️
I did a 1 on 1 with Jess this week. The clarity, honesty and understanding is unmatched. I can’t thank her enough for her ear, her knowledge and compassion. She brought to light things I did not see, considered or ever thought about.
He told me and everyone else that we were going to get married. So when I dumped him everyone was so shocked. He is like the biggest douche canoe. About six months into our relationship oh, I had already decided that if he proposed I was going to say no.
@@habsfan8768 Ive been out 18 months. And boy am I so glad that I never married him. So many things were wrong about it. Like he thought I should move in with him. But not bring my kids. It was after we first broke up and got back together that I realized what a toxic dumpster fire he was. I'm going to say it happened around the one-year mark.
@@butslug interesting....I had an opposite situation...kind of a Stockholm syndrome relationship with an abusive woman who physically, and psychologically abused me...and she completely discarded me out of nowhere, reeled me back in (and I started setting boundaries) only to block me completely...for months and months I was so fucking hurt, and I completely forgot about the negative abuse....until about a year later....now I look back and realized I dodged a huge bullet...she cheated the whole time, and at the end was claiming she was pregnant trying to get me to commit to her fully (with someone else's kid)..
I needed to hear this! My narc, and really only, best friend of 12 yrs (isn’t that sad?🥺) just asked me to marry him about a week ago… I said no, but my goodness, so many layers there!! Still kinda dumbfounded.
My ex narc fiancé litterally lost her mind in a drug induced mania when her little sister got married. We had been engaged for over 5 years at that point but everytime I went to book the venue and do all the leg work I would end up listening to my gut and call it off before surprising her with the 4/20 wedding she had made clear that she wanted. the red flags that would pop up when I would start diverting some of my paycheck towards deposits saved me. Later on after I discovered that the money I was taking had interfered with her ability to get supply for her addiction issues that she had been hiding from us for 3 years
wtf goes on in their minds , Joe ? Every time I try to process this thought, I just end up totally confused and bewildered .... God give me the strength to stay away , this time for good .
Spot on ... I was a good step mum with a flat that was cheap rent he was able to save his money always wanted separate bank accounts though as I was bad with money 💰 Now looking back I see I was just another in a long line of another's.... Thanks Jess
Hello again Jess. My ex narc married 2 weeks after I left him. That was a long time ago. I KNOW he married a very RICH woman, therefore he will be taken care of. Who knows where he is today? He was very GREEDY...
My friend married someone 13 years ago because she was pregnant?? Not... 13 years later, he is a shell of a man and his twin boys have been put in the middle all this time. With her bad mouthing him, he has tried to leave but, she needs someone to take care of her and pay her bills. Whenever he leaves, she gets sick, falls, burns herself. I wish I could get legal help for him 😔
The first thing my narc ex told me when I started grey rock and I quote "You are putting me in a position that I don't want to be in, I don't want to be alone."
Thank you Jess for this video and teach me a lot that what a narcissist is all about it's crazy but it's reality thank you for this video again Jess have a great day
The narc I know, I think he has to have one steady girl so he has somebody to cheat and sneak around on because it's not fun unless he's hurting or deceiving some one it's part of the thrill for him
The narc I was dating was separated. But, apparently, that was just for show. As we moved further along into being an exclusive couple, I saw the first red flag when he really wasn't full time employed at the tire shop. He seemed to have a lot of time off, but the excuses about not getting put on the schedule started. Then his car got side-swiped and he called the soon-to-be ex to help him pay for it. Then his dentures cracked (yep DENTURES at 44!) and he needed her help again since he was under her med/dent while his divorce was in process. At their proceedings, he asked for half: house, cars/bikes, bank, and her 401k. Well, she was going to give him all that he asked. Something was rotten in Denmark: I was in the process of selling/buying a house when we started dating and he offered $50K out of his divorce settlement to pay towards the down payment. This was where my gut sounded the final alarms! The Truth: He hadn't worked in 7 years and was living off of her. He also had no right to her 401k or half the accounts as he hadn't contributed in YEARS. They had been married for 13 years and he was coddled and given everything by her. I said if he was serious, he would pay me 2 months rent up front. I did this as a final way to confirm if those actions weren't just more lip service, now coming my way. With clarity, I was seeing him manipulate and leech and this was what saved me from being his next, long time victim. He ghosted me and I recently learned he got her to buy him 2 motorcycles and a brand new Four Runner. Oh, and the divorce was rescinded (the court house confirmed) 3 days after he moved back "home to mommy"! They are slimy, slimy parasites!
His dentures cracked OMG my is 60 years old but his dentures really cracked cuz he showed them to me over video chat pathological liars who gives to his shits I woke up this morning with a text I probably not going to hear from you today probably put a bug in my ear cuz he's probably with his secondary since he's been with me for 4 days making up for lost time LOL
@ODENORE Emmanuel I see you put the same reply on everybody's comments I don't need anybody's help I can't even stand this guy but if he thinks he's playing a game with me I'll take the gifts in the meantime I live 18 hours away from him I work three jobs seven days a week totally 81 hours a week don't have time for the b******* and I'm 60 years old I'm not in f****** high school
I left narcissist after a 5 yr relationship. He moved on to one and found another one. This one had a house, do he discarded the first one. Do you think he might propose to this new source since she has a nice house? She moved him in after less than 3 months of dating.
We started arguing over marriage. It had been nine years and I moved to his family land. It was time on my book. But his Narc spider mother was dead against me having anything of their family. His new supply I believe is the ex wife or someone else chose. By her. Evil evil evil
It's so funny when you said about being a doormat....my narc told me that I need to smile more often when he comes through the door. I have to stand in front of it as he comes in and smile. I just can't take his stupidity. I want to leave but how do I move? I feel financially incarcerated. Houses are so overpriced, I could never afford and rents have been tripled in price. What are my options? Wish I had a windfall. But can't count on wishes.
My fiancé lured me in with multiple trauma stories. Down the road she asked me how I felt about signing a prenup. I had 4 times the assets she had and she said she would get her dad’s inheritance. Her dad was a Foot Locker manager😂. I said sure let’s get one and from there the discard was on. The abuse was on before that but she was still in it until my prenup comment
My ex narc of 18 years married one of her 3rd party supplies and since then her new victim paid her collection debt and now is on the second car her new victim husband bought her in two years, it's disgusting how a narc will sell their soul and body for materialistic gain. I feel sorry for her clueless new victim
What if you're struggling to know for sure if you are with a narcissist? I feel like you're talking about my situation but I still can't seem to wrap my head around this being my truth..
Marriage to a narcissist is like cutting of your own leg!!! And the divorce to him down loading the paperwork like pro. Making threats so I would sign off. After he begged me to marry him. Said no 6plus times. Smh!SMH!! Marriage meant nothing to him he even forgot 2 anniversary. It was like a tile to a car. Sad wish I could sue him for mental and physical damage because boy did he do a number. Nothing but lies I don't even know who he is or was. Had knew supplie with in days. 3months later they buy house together.. so much wasted time and energy. So Rebecca I asked her before never received a answer what can if anything we do about this is the courts??? Is there anything?? I was totally left screwed and in major debt the whole marriage is on my credit card... and he acts like I never existed... HELP!!!!!
My ex narc wanted to get married, but after 5 years, I realized I was FUTURE FAKED. He had no intentions of marrying me. I left him, and weeks later, he rebounded and married her! How crazy Is that? Well this was 10.7 years ago and I am fine now. I BLOCKED HIM, CHANGED MY PHONE #, AND I MOVED. I'M back to my normal self, and as far as that DEMON is concerned, I hope the women he dates figure him out and dump him like I did.
@Marian Singer HI Marian, it's 2023, Feb. I'm doing fine. Time does heal, and when you have a good support system, that helps a lot. I hope you are also doing well..Take care..
Through the discard, my ex actually informed me he changed his mind about marrying me when my dad told us he'd changed my name leaving his properties to me into half my son's name. He saw the red flags when he told my parents he wanted to marry me after only a few weeks. My ex said, the fact I'd told him I'd do a prenup as he had nothing and I had and will have a lot, meant I didn't trust him. 🤨 Hmmm ... They're weird things, aren't they?
My ex husband latched on to me because I was going places and he was stuck. I didn't want to get married, though he told me repeatedly he wanted to marry me since we were "already together." I wasted a decade on this creep. Once he had me trapped, everything went south. My health, my hopes and dreams, my life -- everything became about how I could keep him happy. He wanted a mommy and a maid, not a wife. He didn't act like a husband or a man even once. When the situation got rough, he ran away like a coward and left me standing alone to hold the bag. We've been divorced now for a full year. He has already remarried -- to the woman he was grooming and cheating on me with. The only thing I can say after finding this out and analyzing the situation is that he can't be alone and has moved from woman to woman to woman. He needs the supply. He needs someone else to pay the bills. He needs a place to live. No one falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs a place to live. And he's going to treat this younger partner the same way he treated me. What idiot gets married to a man who was cheating on his spouse with you? And you don't think he'll do it to you once he gets bored of you? Well, not my problem now. I put in my time and wasted more than a decade on this cretin. Childhood trauma has ruined me, and now I'm doing my best to heal from it and stop the cycle from happening again. Stay strong, survivors. You'll get through this. Thank you, Jess.
LOL I was laughing my ass off I was listening to you Jess he lives in another state and he's been coming twice a month to see me for like 3 days so it's like 6 days out of the month for the last couple of months he's been doing this we all know he's with his main one when he lived here with me the only way I make him think he can control me as he sends me money and he buys me tons of gifts every month it's my monthly allowance he calls it LOL keep the f****** gifts flowing buddy I know what you're all about
I've done the long distance thing myself because I like the romantic aspect of it, you can't miss someone who's always around and I like my space for my friends, job, interests but for them it's just bed hopping and keeping multiple people on a tether.
@@carpathia0117 right now he's texting me and tells me he doesn't like my tone in my voice LMAO I'm hip to what he's doing and you think that I would do great myself to be on his level the romantic part of my end the guy is ugly as f*** he pushed his way into my life and you know how the story goes I have my own life here with my children and I work three jobs I work 81 hours a week I don't have time for his f****** b******* and I told that to his face many times when he came
I was in the exact same that situation that ended recently, but there comes a time when it becomes so miserable to be around a whiney, bragging, baby that always has to be right about everything. Watch out when his other personality comes out. Usually happens when he's contemplating another supply or getting bored. My narc suddenly turned psycho and was angry about all the things he gave me, screaming and threatening me. I'm glad it was over the phone because I think he could have done some damage. I'm not worried about him, he lives a few states away but be careful they can turn on a dime. Also keep in mind he probably has multiple sex partners so protect yourself
Roads are reversed now I'm the long distance because I was the secondary and he still has the main one but remember they're just roommates LMAO it doesn't bother me I let him know it doesn't bother me I said I don't give a s*** you're got a harem of girls down there don't ever accuse me of something when you're the one that's doing it and I also put it out there I'm not the one that lives with you and the only reason why he buys me things and sends me money is to control me to keep me here for I won't be with anybody else cuz he is nothing to look at his body shot he can't even talk to talk anymore because I see through the b******* the only thing that I can say is fat lady Jess knows what she is talking about whatever anything that I'm going through with this ass wipe she puts out a video of what I was going through at the time like this married video when I saw her come on my home screen on my phone I listen to it I'm like just lady knows her f****** s***she's so funny. He's not pulling all over my eyes if he wants to continue to send me money and gifts fine by me that doesn't mean I got to sit when the common Dad throws orders at me and talks about my tone and I don't give two s**** about him after for everything that he did for me no he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he knows me I'm a hard one to crack LMAO
I know two NARC women I’ve gone NC with. I met one’s husband only once. The other didn’t act like a woman in love with him. I met him numerous times and he was socially awkward but successful and the best Ivy League and good institutions in employee. She didn’t come from such a background. They never had children and they’re now divorced for many years. She rarely worked and couldn’t hold a job for long when she did. She got a substantial settlement and she’s now with another guy for many years. I now see her pattern and both are malignant female Narcs that remora from one man to another for the money 💰. Disgusting, dark, no soul women.
This narc that went ghost on me in 1999, married a chick 4 months after sleeping with me cause she's from Brooklyn and I'm from long island, he used her so he can look at skyscrapers and buildings, and go to wall street, they are opportunists, now he's divorced lol.
No they will not marry you but they will use u for every last bit of love. Light and energy My idiot ex thought I was not wealthy enough 4 him Im a great human being and a heart of gold his loss my gain
I've been married for over 8 years to this person. She filed for divorce a few days before Thanksgiving last year. We have 3 kids , 2 girls 7.5 yrs and a boy 4.5 yrs old. The first 4 years were crazy , but I thought it was because she was a meth/heroin/alcoholic who had supported her habit by prostitution. I thought if I removed her from the streets she would get better. As I said after 4 years she finally went to rehab. It got a little better which I was happy about, but then I started to see the real her. The drugs seemed to keep her more under control, so I thought. It wasn't until after she filed for divorce 5 months ago, that I finally found out what was going on. She called me a Narcissist ? I had never been called that before. Looked it up and my mind was expanded 10X. Everything I read about a Narcissist and how they treat their supply was exactly what she had been doing to me for years. I've been reading and listening to just about everything I can get to help me to process and get my life together. It still isn't over because she's fighting for the kids and has already brought her new supply over to the house . He stayed over for almost 2 weeks and the kids saw them engaging in various sex acts. They haven't recovered since. I'm so thankful for what your doing , you've helped me so much. You've helped me and my kids start to get our lives back together. You are SUPER SPOT ON in this video about why they marry.
And when you say marriages and divorces costs $$$ oh yes it does and they will be having MORE & MORE of those . Not just 1 or 2 but these narcs will have and be living multiple and double lives !!!
He told everyone we were getting married after about 8 months of us becoming involved. After 3 dates he told me he trusted me...HAHHAA!!! Wow, but I didn't tell him I trusted him. I told him, um, you don't even know me like that but whatever. He began trying to impress my family, tried acting like he was my SAVIOR, he had issues with my many of my friends which I told him I was NOT letting them go for him. We went on a mini vacation with my parents, he acted a fool because my step son met us for dinner who is 30+ yo and he acted like someone asked him to pay child support for him. After my parents him him yelling about that issue, he then asked me not to talk to anyone about "our issues", I told him he's the one with the issues. When he began to act really weird, I spoke with his ONLY friend, he got mad about that too so I KNOW I was NOT marriage material for him. 10 months later, he marries someone who gave up her apartment and I must say, her peace to be with him. She has adult kids who live in another state. I know she's going after the material things as he has a big house but it's really nothing but a hell hole...she'll find out sooner or later because he controls everything.
I'm ashamed to admit it....I was a great source of supply......I don't know how I got away....she got tired of trying to marry me. I still love her but she's no good.
She works at The World Bank Married her husband for Money (500K a year). She cheated but never left. He found out and took her back. Then he cheated -She Divorced Him and cleaned him out. Still talks about The Ex constantly. She's on the Hunt for $$$$ Supply.
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Seasoned divorce lawyer here. This video is spot on! If you get a whiff of narcissistic behavior, DO NOT MARRY. You will end up miserable and dragged through the divorce courts. Stay single! Stay safe!
@Victoria Bergman locked up and humiliation? Narcissism is a response to trauma, that's like saying blame the woman that got raped. Be less dumb, that's how we improve the world.
@Victoria Bergman I agree I always feel like they shouldn't be walking the earth. I had Narc parents and of course went ahead to have all narc partners. To make matters worse my first 10yrs of therapy none of the therapist understood NPD.
I got a ring after 3 months it was so fast but so many red flags lied and fights I felt I was going crazy so I broke up with him and blocked him I know he wanted to trap me he was mean out of no where like bi bolar and big on guilt tripping I pawned the 💍 haha
I ignored all of the red flags, made excuses for the red flags and here I sit after over 30 years involved in an extremely messy divorce. Young folks should be thankful for channels like this that are dedicated to narcissism. I had no idea what a narcissist was. My life would be so different had I known. Narcissism should be taught in schools.
I am so happy to hear from an expert. I almost did. He put my engagement ring off. How sad, but I know it is better for my healthy future.
Remember A Narc wants Status and Power. Always looking for something better ...Always
They literally don’t care about you at all. Lol. Getting married is like a icing on the cake. They took you for what you got. I’m glad he chose her over me. She can have him. Lock her down. You saved me! Thanks 🙏
Very true my crazy narcissist ex always hung the marriage carrot in front of me.. thinking he’s some prize. Initially he thought I was perfect - caring, understands him and was loving - eventually he was lazy and nasty to me, his mask fell off so I held him accountable. Suddenly, I was the worst girlfriend he had ever had and marriage was off the table. Thank God it was…
The narcissist I married, clearly wanted to gain my substantial inheritance.
Thankfully, I woke up with the DEVINE advice.
Greed will cause much heartache, and be fatal .
Did you save your money? How long until he showed his true colours?
@@natalijamartina
I saw the Red Flags so to speak really early in the relationshit.
Narcissists are pros at putting on and off their Mask of deception though. After several slips, the demon mask stayed on a liitle bit too long and I knew it was time to RUN. Run as far as you can!!!!!
I know that feeling.
Mine was a reunion ex. He realised I was the only child, therefore when my parents leave this earth everything is mine. He was giving me advice about inheritance too much of it ..made me see red flags and eyes open. Had to end it wasn't the ex for me.
Nothing in life is easy, however we do need to use more commonsense and pay attention to ourselves and relationships with others.
We're too quick to date, sex, baby and marriage and that's when action starts ..to their eyes they see us as feeble individuals and easy to manipulate. Like Judge Judy would say, STEP BACK AND OPEN YOUR EYES.
Its actually scary to think of what these people are capable of. I layed down strong boundaries about money in my last relationship of just 2 months and that ended. I aint saying she a gold digger….. but 🧐 hmm maybe
They look for money and assets land..get prenup..
I guess I ended up not being a good supply for my ex narc fiance! After he discarded me and moved out of our house, 2 1/2 months later he got engaged and 5 months after that he married her! I just got wind of this the other day...I have been no contact for a year now! He's her problem now! 😊
Narcs won’t even give you your stuff back after a break up, no way they’re going to let you go during a divorce!
When you come out of a narc marraige then your gonna have trust issues.
Facts 💯
Yes Yes Yes!!!! 🎯 I am not good supply and can't be happier about this!
Lol good way to put it
Bravo girl, bravo!!!
My narc repeatedly asked me to marry him. The last time he asked me he got in my face about my refusing to marry him. I was discarded 10 days later and within 90 days he was married to the woman he was having an affair with all the while he was asking me to marry him. She is wife number 5. He cannot be alone and must trap his prey. Somehow I think I was smart to say no!😂
Lol sounds like mine. I told her I wasn't going to marry someone who lies to me and smears me.
They absolutely can’t be alone
Sounds like my ex gf narc. Wanted rush a marriage, told her I won't marry someone that doesn't love me and that she needs go to therapy for some of her narc behavior......narc rage, stonewalling, discard and she had new supply within weeks
Wow this exactly my situation after 35+ years of marriage and NOW realizing my husband is a narcissist 🥲 Miserable marriage
He always avoided to commit lolz. That's the giveaway 😂. He disappeared and never came back.
20 years and we never got married. 2002-2020. Right on the dot. His selfishness broke us up.
With all due respect can I ask you why would you stay with a disgusting narcissist for more than even one month let alone 20 years I'm not being condescending I'm not being rude I'm trying to comprehend your mindset I say that to you with utmost respect with respect did he use some sort of spell on you I'm not joking I'm really not joking I had someone turn around and use control medicine on me and took it out to an Indian reserve so I'm not joking but the thing about it is we non-stop thought and I Non-Stop kept saying there is no way on God's green earth that I would be with a person like you so I know you've done something so could you please with respect clearly give me an answer as to why you was safe with somebody for 20 years please I beg of you help me understand this
@@miss.l.c.minister I had never heard of narcisissm ever in my life. I wish I knew something about it I would of understood the manipulation a lot better and sooner.
Me 2. Don't feel bad. Been with him since 18..He was 32(unbeknownst to me married) and I am 40 now. I hate the wasted time..but delighted to not end up married.
OH SO TRUE!
I lived it for 15 years!🤬
46 here! Life is so good now!
Just about to begin the filing for a divorce after 5 years marriage. I survived 1 discard and as she was planning her 2nd I knew something was up. I learned all about covert narcissism’ and NPD and it fit the profile to a t. I felt betrayed and confused and wrestled with my cognitive dissonance for days. The future and our marriage was a hoax. I asked her, what do I need to do to save this marriage? Her reply “you have to make me your only priority”. That’s when I saw her for who she is. I pierced through her mask and all of the last 5 years finally started to make sense. Channels like these and the stories of others have greatly impacted me and helped makes sense of this. I exhausted myself by doing her bidding, even moved to another state for her. Time to reclaim my authentic self. Thanks so much and hope your healing journey takes you to wonderous places. You’re not alone
I'm happy for you
Bravo! I broke up, 3years, I was there with all my heart. But I see now that my love was spread naive. Not the first time, but certainly the last!🖐
1 year no contact. Divorced him 2 years ago. He hoovered me 6 months ago, I didn't fall for it. I was wife no 5, he is getting married to wife no 6... at 62 years???? He tried to get his hands on my pension.
I'm here after breaking an engagement in such a relationship. I still feel guilty even though I know it was abusive. Listening to Jess helps by reminding me that what I 'lost' was unhealthy and was not going to change for the better.
It still hurts, though with time and no contact, it has softened somewhat.
Stay safe everyone
I hope you get peace of mind some day.. Remember that phrase.. "Peace of Mind"
Love is not pain !
How are you doing? Time away helps?
@@katkos2750 amen!
@@natalijamartinaI still feel it. It just feels farther away and I have new things to think about. So, yes, I would say I am doing better.
I am very happy to say that i am not married anymore, i was for 17 years, i am free and Single as a pringle going on 5 years, HURRA ❤
"Single as a Pringle.."
I love it!
He told me for years that he was going to marry me, 21 years later still nothing and I am glad! Used to be a goal of mine until he gave me an option spend money on the ring and no wedding, or get a cheap ring and small wedding in Vegas!! 😳😔😣!! Glad I am not getting married!
Sophia, same thing happened to me. We never got married . I met him when I was 16, I’m 36 now. We were engaged but because he didn’t want to be left out, all his friends were getting married.
Biggest clue that you married and or dated a narcissist is how you feel after you breakup. First confused and drained but slowly after healing you feel a million times better and the biggest proof is pictures. Take a look at yours during the relationship right after and then a few months and years later you will recognize yourself back again when looking in the mirror and you will feel stronger than ever, two other major clues over the time after the breakup
Was married to one but got out of it very early on. Grateful he signed the papers and that I never got pregnant by him. He’s remarried and in a foreign country so completely out of my life
going through a divorce with one now, she's been dragging it out for months, been cheating our entire marriage, just an awful human being
I’m praying my baby daddy marry his ride or die ASAP lol he tried to marry me as the last resort because my feet were out the door 😂 soooooooooooooo fkn HAPPYYYYYYYYY I didn’t do that dumb shit GOD IS GOOD 🙏🏿 🙌🏿
Too late, just found this out, oh Lord.
Perfect timing for this video, today, Jess! After getting a very long list of everything she wants from the marital home and accumulated marital property including financial, I once again realized that, according to the narcissist “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine and there is no other option”! OMG! 😱 happy Friday, Jess! ☺️
its all a trick ..
I did a 1 on 1 with Jess this week. The clarity, honesty and understanding is unmatched. I can’t thank her enough for her ear, her knowledge and compassion. She brought to light things I did not see, considered or ever thought about.
How much was it?
* marriageable
Every word was spot on.....So thankful to God & family that I could rebuild my life after the traumatic marital experience.
He told me and everyone else that we were going to get married. So when I dumped him everyone was so shocked. He is like the biggest douche canoe. About six months into our relationship oh, I had already decided that if he proposed I was going to say no.
Bonus points for fabulous use of the word douchecanoe!
Just out of curiosity how long were you together after knowing that?
@@habsfan8768
Ive been out 18 months. And boy am I so glad that I never married him. So many things were wrong about it. Like he thought I should move in with him. But not bring my kids. It was after we first broke up and got back together that I realized what a toxic dumpster fire he was. I'm going to say it happened around the one-year mark.
@@butslug interesting....I had an opposite situation...kind of a Stockholm syndrome relationship with an abusive woman who physically, and psychologically abused me...and she completely discarded me out of nowhere, reeled me back in (and I started setting boundaries) only to block me completely...for months and months I was so fucking hurt, and I completely forgot about the negative abuse....until about a year later....now I look back and realized I dodged a huge bullet...she cheated the whole time, and at the end was claiming she was pregnant trying to get me to commit to her fully (with someone else's kid)..
You definitely dodged a bullet that's a good.thing you didn't waste another minute wit that dude and showed him the grand exit !!
Ya, did his homework on financial gain.....begging me to marry.
I pray justice and karma will prevail.
All this.
My narc marriage lasted 4 years and 9 months.
Of absolute Twilite Zone Hell.
Divorced. No contact. Ughhhhhh.
A union without true love....interesting! Transactional entanglements.
Not me thank you🔥🔥🔥
Rebecca Zung..... For sure
I needed to hear this! My narc, and really only, best friend of 12 yrs (isn’t that sad?🥺) just asked me to marry him about a week ago… I said no, but my goodness, so many layers there!! Still kinda dumbfounded.
@ODENORE Emmanuel these people are money scammers, true as I breath.
@ODENORE Emmanuel Spammer go away!
Me too!!!!
My ex narc fiancé litterally lost her mind in a drug induced mania when her little sister got married. We had been engaged for over 5 years at that point but everytime I went to book the venue and do all the leg work I would end up listening to my gut and call it off before surprising her with the 4/20 wedding she had made clear that she wanted. the red flags that would pop up when I would start diverting some of my paycheck towards deposits saved me. Later on after I discovered that the money I was taking had interfered with her ability to get supply for her addiction issues that she had been hiding from us for 3 years
wtf goes on in their minds , Joe ?
Every time I try to process this thought, I just end up totally confused and bewildered ....
God give me the strength to stay away , this time for good .
You described my life. After 25 years I divorced him. It was awful but I got out.
Too right.
Spot on ...
I was a good step mum with a flat that was cheap rent he was able to save his money always wanted separate bank accounts though as I was bad with money 💰 Now looking back I see I was just another in a long line of another's.... Thanks Jess
leaving my narc ex was the best thing ever and my girl I have now is so wonderful
Hello again Jess. My ex narc married 2 weeks after I left him. That was a long time ago. I KNOW he married a very RICH woman, therefore he will be taken care of. Who knows where he is today? He was very GREEDY...
I really enjoyed this video.I am 52 years old and have never been married.This video is the truth.I always run away for my own safety .June 2022
They are only there for one reason...To Benefit from.
Just how long for the new supply who married a narc, take to catch on to how abuses the narc is?
good word Jess
My friend married someone 13 years ago because she was pregnant?? Not...
13 years later, he is a shell of a man and his twin boys have been put in the middle all this time. With her bad mouthing him, he has tried to leave but, she needs someone to take care of her and pay her bills.
Whenever he leaves, she gets sick, falls, burns herself. I wish I could get legal help for him 😔
This was incredible
The first thing my narc ex told me when I started grey rock and I quote "You are putting me in a position that I don't want to be in, I don't want to be alone."
@ODENORE Emmanuel go away voodoo not needed here
@@raewynurwin4256 Those three little dots in the right hand corner of his comments...report it, because it's unwanted solicitation
Thank you Jess for this video and teach me a lot that what a narcissist is all about it's crazy but it's reality thank you for this video again Jess have a great day
Thank u
Will they re marry
That's a good thing not marrying them
The narc I know, I think he has to have one steady girl so he has somebody to cheat and sneak around on because it's not fun unless he's hurting or deceiving some one it's part of the thrill for him
Brilliant message Jess, thankyou so very much 👏
The narc I was dating was separated. But, apparently, that was just for show. As we moved further along into being an exclusive couple, I saw the first red flag when he really wasn't full time employed at the tire shop. He seemed to have a lot of time off, but the excuses about not getting put on the schedule started. Then his car got side-swiped and he called the soon-to-be ex to help him pay for it. Then his dentures cracked (yep DENTURES at 44!) and he needed her help again since he was under her med/dent while his divorce was in process. At their proceedings, he asked for half: house, cars/bikes, bank, and her 401k. Well, she was going to give him all that he asked.
Something was rotten in Denmark: I was in the process of selling/buying a house when we started dating and he offered $50K out of his divorce settlement to pay towards the down payment. This was where my gut sounded the final alarms!
The Truth: He hadn't worked in 7 years and was living off of her. He also had no right to her 401k or half the accounts as he hadn't contributed in YEARS. They had been married for 13 years and he was coddled and given everything by her. I said if he was serious, he would pay me 2 months rent up front. I did this as a final way to confirm if those actions weren't just more lip service, now coming my way. With clarity, I was seeing him manipulate and leech and this was what saved me from being his next, long time victim.
He ghosted me and I recently learned he got her to buy him 2 motorcycles and a brand new Four Runner. Oh, and the divorce was rescinded (the court house confirmed) 3 days after he moved back "home to mommy"!
They are slimy, slimy parasites!
His dentures cracked OMG my is 60 years old but his dentures really cracked cuz he showed them to me over video chat pathological liars who gives to his shits I woke up this morning with a text I probably not going to hear from you today probably put a bug in my ear cuz he's probably with his secondary since he's been with me for 4 days making up for lost time LOL
@ODENORE Emmanuel I see you put the same reply on everybody's comments I don't need anybody's help I can't even stand this guy but if he thinks he's playing a game with me I'll take the gifts in the meantime I live 18 hours away from him I work three jobs seven days a week totally 81 hours a week don't have time for the b******* and I'm 60 years old I'm not in f****** high school
That dude must of have crazy D game 😂
@ODENORE Emmanuel ol fake ass spam with nothing better to do
Wow
Thank you
You so much 🙋
Thanks, you are spot on
I left narcissist after a 5 yr relationship. He moved on to one and found another one. This one had a house, do he discarded the first one. Do you think he might propose to this new source since she has a nice house? She moved him in after less than 3 months of dating.
I lived every point you shared...10 years free. Thank you Jess~
Man, I needed to hear this!! Great timing!! Thank you ❤
We started arguing over marriage. It had been nine years and I moved to his family land. It was time on my book. But his Narc spider mother was dead against me having anything of their family. His new supply I believe is the ex wife or someone else chose. By her. Evil evil evil
they accused U of cheating when they r, they r always projecting
Good stuff Jess, keep up the good work!
He forced the engagement but then didn’t want to marry which was strange we are divorcing now as we did eventually marry
Great video!
It's so funny when you said about being a doormat....my narc told me that I need to smile more often when he comes through the door. I have to stand in front of it as he comes in and smile. I just can't take his stupidity. I want to leave but how do I move? I feel financially incarcerated. Houses are so overpriced, I could never afford and rents have been tripled in price. What are my options? Wish I had a windfall. But can't count on wishes.
Smile more often LOL
Separate yourself from him mentally and start working towards your goal to be independent of him .. over time you can plan your exit for good !
My fiancé lured me in with multiple trauma stories. Down the road she asked me how I felt about signing a prenup. I had 4 times the assets she had and she said she would get her dad’s inheritance. Her dad was a Foot Locker manager😂.
I said sure let’s get one and from there the discard was on. The abuse was on before that but she was still in it until my prenup comment
Ahh got married and then tried to make him grow up and go to therapy. Now he is saying I abuse him because I started having boundaries
This video is correct
Thank you very much!
What are the requirements for a nar to marry
My ex narc of 18 years married one of her 3rd party supplies and since then her new victim paid her collection debt and now is on the second car her new victim husband bought her in two years, it's disgusting how a narc will sell their soul and body for materialistic gain. I feel sorry for her clueless new victim
True words
What if you're struggling to know for sure if you are with a narcissist? I feel like you're talking about my situation but I still can't seem to wrap my head around this being my truth..
You'll never get the answer dear one. But if you're asking is it me it's not you trust me x
It's due to the cognitive dissonance, you will never truly wrap your head around it because you're not the psychopath!
Trust me you never wrap your head around it...that's just how demonic these people are
It’s true when you ask yourself. Trust yourself. Always!
Marriage to a narcissist is like cutting of your own leg!!! And the divorce to him down loading the paperwork like pro. Making threats so I would sign off. After he begged me to marry him. Said no 6plus times. Smh!SMH!! Marriage meant nothing to him he even forgot 2 anniversary. It was like a tile to a car. Sad wish I could sue him for mental and physical damage because boy did he do a number. Nothing but lies I don't even know who he is or was. Had knew supplie with in days. 3months later they buy house together.. so much wasted time and energy. So Rebecca I asked her before never received a answer what can if anything we do about this is the courts??? Is there anything?? I was totally left screwed and in major debt the whole marriage is on my credit card... and he acts like I never existed... HELP!!!!!
They marry someone who adores them and who looks great and whom is young.
The ex psychopath narc wanted to get married cause he wanted my house. Thank goodness I didn't marry him!
Finally did it after 10 years smh and now getting a divorce 🤦🏾♀️
My ex narc wanted to get married, but after 5 years, I realized I was FUTURE FAKED. He had no intentions of marrying me. I left him, and weeks later, he rebounded and married her! How crazy Is that? Well this was 10.7 years ago and I am fine now. I BLOCKED HIM, CHANGED MY PHONE #, AND I MOVED. I'M back to my normal self, and as far as that DEMON is concerned, I hope the women he dates figure him out and dump him like I did.
@ODENORE Emmanuel SPAM
How are you doing? My situation, just lasted 3 years.
@@natalijamartina This is now 2023, and I am fine. Time heals. I hope you are well.
@Marian Singer HI Marian, it's 2023, Feb. I'm doing fine. Time does heal, and when you have a good support system, that helps a lot. I hope you are also doing well..Take care..
Through the discard, my ex actually informed me he changed his mind about marrying me when my dad told us he'd changed my name leaving his properties to me into half my son's name. He saw the red flags when he told my parents he wanted to marry me after only a few weeks. My ex said, the fact I'd told him I'd do a prenup as he had nothing and I had and will have a lot, meant I didn't trust him. 🤨 Hmmm ...
They're weird things, aren't they?
@ODENORE Emmanuel sure you did, but I think you're on the wrong page as no one here wants their ex back. 🧐
Please remove your dodgy link.
@@sharonbell1094 scammers for sure.
My ex husband latched on to me because I was going places and he was stuck. I didn't want to get married, though he told me repeatedly he wanted to marry me since we were "already together." I wasted a decade on this creep. Once he had me trapped, everything went south. My health, my hopes and dreams, my life -- everything became about how I could keep him happy. He wanted a mommy and a maid, not a wife. He didn't act like a husband or a man even once. When the situation got rough, he ran away like a coward and left me standing alone to hold the bag.
We've been divorced now for a full year. He has already remarried -- to the woman he was grooming and cheating on me with. The only thing I can say after finding this out and analyzing the situation is that he can't be alone and has moved from woman to woman to woman. He needs the supply. He needs someone else to pay the bills. He needs a place to live. No one falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs a place to live. And he's going to treat this younger partner the same way he treated me. What idiot gets married to a man who was cheating on his spouse with you? And you don't think he'll do it to you once he gets bored of you?
Well, not my problem now. I put in my time and wasted more than a decade on this cretin. Childhood trauma has ruined me, and now I'm doing my best to heal from it and stop the cycle from happening again.
Stay strong, survivors. You'll get through this.
Thank you, Jess.
LOL I was laughing my ass off I was listening to you Jess he lives in another state and he's been coming twice a month to see me for like 3 days so it's like 6 days out of the month for the last couple of months he's been doing this we all know he's with his main one when he lived here with me the only way I make him think he can control me as he sends me money and he buys me tons of gifts every month it's my monthly allowance he calls it LOL keep the f****** gifts flowing buddy I know what you're all about
I've done the long distance thing myself because I like the romantic aspect of it, you can't miss someone who's always around and I like my space for my friends, job, interests but for them it's just bed hopping and keeping multiple people on a tether.
@@carpathia0117 right now he's texting me and tells me he doesn't like my tone in my voice LMAO I'm hip to what he's doing and you think that I would do great myself to be on his level the romantic part of my end the guy is ugly as f*** he pushed his way into my life and you know how the story goes I have my own life here with my children and I work three jobs I work 81 hours a week I don't have time for his f****** b******* and I told that to his face many times when he came
I was in the exact same that situation that ended recently, but there comes a time when it becomes so miserable to be around a whiney, bragging, baby that always has to be right about everything. Watch out when his other personality comes out. Usually happens when he's contemplating another supply or getting bored. My narc suddenly turned psycho and was angry about all the things he gave me, screaming and threatening me. I'm glad it was over the phone because I think he could have done some damage. I'm not worried about him, he lives a few states away but be careful they can turn on a dime. Also keep in mind he probably has multiple sex partners so protect yourself
Roads are reversed now I'm the long distance because I was the secondary and he still has the main one but remember they're just roommates LMAO it doesn't bother me I let him know it doesn't bother me I said I don't give a s*** you're got a harem of girls down there don't ever accuse me of something when you're the one that's doing it and I also put it out there I'm not the one that lives with you and the only reason why he buys me things and sends me money is to control me to keep me here for I won't be with anybody else cuz he is nothing to look at his body shot he can't even talk to talk anymore because I see through the b******* the only thing that I can say is fat lady Jess knows what she is talking about whatever anything that I'm going through with this ass wipe she puts out a video of what I was going through at the time like this married video when I saw her come on my home screen on my phone I listen to it I'm like just lady knows her f****** s***she's so funny. He's not pulling all over my eyes if he wants to continue to send me money and gifts fine by me that doesn't mean I got to sit when the common Dad throws orders at me and talks about my tone and I don't give two s**** about him after for everything that he did for me no he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he knows me I'm a hard one to crack LMAO
Ty have a great day blocked everything still texting me asking to text him
I know two NARC women I’ve gone NC with. I met one’s husband only once. The other didn’t act like a woman in love with him. I met him numerous times and he was socially awkward but successful and the best Ivy League and good institutions in employee. She didn’t come from such a background. They never had children and they’re now divorced for many years. She rarely worked and couldn’t hold a job for long when she did. She got a substantial settlement and she’s now with another guy for many years. I now see her pattern and both are malignant female Narcs that remora from one man to another for the money 💰. Disgusting, dark, no soul women.
Glad I was not marriage material due to all of these reasons. 😆😆😆😆🙌🙌🙌🙌
I am now divorced and happily made him a 3 time loser.
Acurate!
This narc that went ghost on me in 1999, married a chick 4 months after sleeping with me cause she's from Brooklyn and I'm from long island, he used her so he can look at skyscrapers and buildings, and go to wall street, they are opportunists, now he's divorced lol.
No they will not marry you but they will use u for every last bit of love. Light and energy
My idiot ex thought I was not wealthy enough 4 him
Im a great human being and a heart of gold his loss my gain
I've been married for over 8 years to this person. She filed for divorce a few days before Thanksgiving last year. We have 3 kids , 2 girls 7.5 yrs and a boy 4.5 yrs old. The first 4 years were crazy , but I thought it was because she was a meth/heroin/alcoholic who had supported her habit by prostitution. I thought if I removed her from the streets she would get better. As I said after 4 years she finally went to rehab. It got a little better which I was happy about, but then I started to see the real her. The drugs seemed to keep her more under control, so I thought. It wasn't until after she filed for divorce 5 months ago, that I finally found out what was going on.
She called me a Narcissist ? I had never been called that before. Looked it up and my mind was expanded 10X. Everything I read about a Narcissist and how they treat their supply was exactly what she had been doing to me for years.
I've been reading and listening to just about everything I can get to help me to process and get my life together. It still isn't over because she's fighting for the kids and has already brought her new supply over to the house . He stayed over for almost 2 weeks and the kids saw them engaging in various sex acts. They haven't recovered since.
I'm so thankful for what your doing , you've helped me so much. You've helped me and my kids start to get our lives back together. You are SUPER SPOT ON in this video about why they marry.
I'm a trucker truckers say you can't make a housewife out of a whore they will always go back to the street lifestyle,so true
But they will future fake the hell out of you if you allow them.
How do I know if his a Narc ? I need help. Is there a way I can email you ?
If you'd like to set up an appointment to talk with me you can email bookachatwithjess@gmail.com
Haha I know a narc who is always the bride and never the bridesmaid 😂🤣😂🤣
Money. He never wore his wedding ring never ....
And when you say marriages and divorces costs $$$ oh yes it does and they will be having MORE & MORE of those . Not just 1 or 2 but these narcs will have and be living multiple and double lives !!!
He told everyone we were getting married after about 8 months of us becoming involved. After 3 dates he told me he trusted me...HAHHAA!!! Wow, but I didn't tell him I trusted him. I told him, um, you don't even know me like that but whatever. He began trying to impress my family, tried acting like he was my SAVIOR, he had issues with my many of my friends which I told him I was NOT letting them go for him. We went on a mini vacation with my parents, he acted a fool because my step son met us for dinner who is 30+ yo and he acted like someone asked him to pay child support for him. After my parents him him yelling about that issue, he then asked me not to talk to anyone about "our issues", I told him he's the one with the issues. When he began to act really weird, I spoke with his ONLY friend, he got mad about that too so I KNOW I was NOT marriage material for him. 10 months later, he marries someone who gave up her apartment and I must say, her peace to be with him. She has adult kids who live in another state. I know she's going after the material things as he has a big house but it's really nothing but a hell hole...she'll find out sooner or later because he controls everything.
I'm ashamed to admit it....I was a great source of supply......I don't know how I got away....she got tired of trying to marry me. I still love her but she's no good.
She works at The World Bank Married her husband for Money (500K a year). She cheated but never left. He found out and took her back. Then he cheated -She Divorced Him and cleaned him out. Still talks about The Ex constantly. She's on the Hunt for $$$$ Supply.
💍⚰️
My ex girlfriend narc has the nickname of “runaway bride “.
She also would never marry me, thank God, I stood up for myself … she wouldn’t even refer to me as a boyfriend … that I consider a complement …