Narcissists ONLY Get Married For THIS! - Why A Narcissist Will OR Will NOT Marry You

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 220

  • @JessStanley
    @JessStanley  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tell me your thoughts on this video topic!
    Don't forget to subscribe!
    If you'd like to set up a chat with me you can email
    BookAChatWithJess@gmail.com

  • @jcnlaw
    @jcnlaw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +268

    Seasoned divorce lawyer here. This video is spot on! If you get a whiff of narcissistic behavior, DO NOT MARRY. You will end up miserable and dragged through the divorce courts. Stay single! Stay safe!

    • @Lacuna1122
      @Lacuna1122 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Victoria Bergman locked up and humiliation? Narcissism is a response to trauma, that's like saying blame the woman that got raped. Be less dumb, that's how we improve the world.

    • @bellaapple2166
      @bellaapple2166 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Victoria Bergman I agree I always feel like they shouldn't be walking the earth. I had Narc parents and of course went ahead to have all narc partners. To make matters worse my first 10yrs of therapy none of the therapist understood NPD.

    • @katherinebravo4872
      @katherinebravo4872 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I got a ring after 3 months it was so fast but so many red flags lied and fights I felt I was going crazy so I broke up with him and blocked him I know he wanted to trap me he was mean out of no where like bi bolar and big on guilt tripping I pawned the 💍 haha

    • @dyoung2739
      @dyoung2739 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I ignored all of the red flags, made excuses for the red flags and here I sit after over 30 years involved in an extremely messy divorce. Young folks should be thankful for channels like this that are dedicated to narcissism. I had no idea what a narcissist was. My life would be so different had I known. Narcissism should be taught in schools.

    • @natalijamartina
      @natalijamartina 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I am so happy to hear from an expert. I almost did. He put my engagement ring off. How sad, but I know it is better for my healthy future.

  • @davidmcguire9803
    @davidmcguire9803 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Remember A Narc wants Status and Power. Always looking for something better ...Always

  • @cttofl8822
    @cttofl8822 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    They literally don’t care about you at all. Lol. Getting married is like a icing on the cake. They took you for what you got. I’m glad he chose her over me. She can have him. Lock her down. You saved me! Thanks 🙏

  • @scc4348
    @scc4348 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Very true my crazy narcissist ex always hung the marriage carrot in front of me.. thinking he’s some prize. Initially he thought I was perfect - caring, understands him and was loving - eventually he was lazy and nasty to me, his mask fell off so I held him accountable. Suddenly, I was the worst girlfriend he had ever had and marriage was off the table. Thank God it was…

  • @sylviaamodeo7090
    @sylviaamodeo7090 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    The narcissist I married, clearly wanted to gain my substantial inheritance.
    Thankfully, I woke up with the DEVINE advice.
    Greed will cause much heartache, and be fatal .

    • @natalijamartina
      @natalijamartina 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Did you save your money? How long until he showed his true colours?

    • @sylviaamodeo7090
      @sylviaamodeo7090 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@natalijamartina
      I saw the Red Flags so to speak really early in the relationshit.
      Narcissists are pros at putting on and off their Mask of deception though. After several slips, the demon mask stayed on a liitle bit too long and I knew it was time to RUN. Run as far as you can!!!!!

    • @cpet5048
      @cpet5048 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know that feeling.
      Mine was a reunion ex. He realised I was the only child, therefore when my parents leave this earth everything is mine. He was giving me advice about inheritance too much of it ..made me see red flags and eyes open. Had to end it wasn't the ex for me.
      Nothing in life is easy, however we do need to use more commonsense and pay attention to ourselves and relationships with others.
      We're too quick to date, sex, baby and marriage and that's when action starts ..to their eyes they see us as feeble individuals and easy to manipulate. Like Judge Judy would say, STEP BACK AND OPEN YOUR EYES.

    • @rhyannjoedan
      @rhyannjoedan ปีที่แล้ว

      Its actually scary to think of what these people are capable of. I layed down strong boundaries about money in my last relationship of just 2 months and that ended. I aint saying she a gold digger….. but 🧐 hmm maybe

    • @traceybiles2061
      @traceybiles2061 ปีที่แล้ว

      They look for money and assets land..get prenup..

  • @livingnow7017
    @livingnow7017 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I guess I ended up not being a good supply for my ex narc fiance! After he discarded me and moved out of our house, 2 1/2 months later he got engaged and 5 months after that he married her! I just got wind of this the other day...I have been no contact for a year now! He's her problem now! 😊

  • @Brittany-hd2uf
    @Brittany-hd2uf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Narcs won’t even give you your stuff back after a break up, no way they’re going to let you go during a divorce!

  • @jasonstone8222
    @jasonstone8222 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    When you come out of a narc marraige then your gonna have trust issues.

    • @ladyvirgo013
      @ladyvirgo013 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Facts 💯

  • @LauraHernandez-nx6rw
    @LauraHernandez-nx6rw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Yes Yes Yes!!!! 🎯 I am not good supply and can't be happier about this!

  • @texannadeb5005
    @texannadeb5005 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    My narc repeatedly asked me to marry him. The last time he asked me he got in my face about my refusing to marry him. I was discarded 10 days later and within 90 days he was married to the woman he was having an affair with all the while he was asking me to marry him. She is wife number 5. He cannot be alone and must trap his prey. Somehow I think I was smart to say no!😂

    • @sgtmuffinbadger6147
      @sgtmuffinbadger6147 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lol sounds like mine. I told her I wasn't going to marry someone who lies to me and smears me.

    • @Lifewithlatoya6
      @Lifewithlatoya6 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They absolutely can’t be alone

    • @sf4010
      @sf4010 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sounds like my ex gf narc. Wanted rush a marriage, told her I won't marry someone that doesn't love me and that she needs go to therapy for some of her narc behavior......narc rage, stonewalling, discard and she had new supply within weeks

  • @youalreadyknow6763
    @youalreadyknow6763 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Wow this exactly my situation after 35+ years of marriage and NOW realizing my husband is a narcissist 🥲 Miserable marriage

  • @etaokha4164
    @etaokha4164 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    He always avoided to commit lolz. That's the giveaway 😂. He disappeared and never came back.

  • @Twinmama143
    @Twinmama143 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    20 years and we never got married. 2002-2020. Right on the dot. His selfishness broke us up.

    • @miss.l.c.minister
      @miss.l.c.minister 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      With all due respect can I ask you why would you stay with a disgusting narcissist for more than even one month let alone 20 years I'm not being condescending I'm not being rude I'm trying to comprehend your mindset I say that to you with utmost respect with respect did he use some sort of spell on you I'm not joking I'm really not joking I had someone turn around and use control medicine on me and took it out to an Indian reserve so I'm not joking but the thing about it is we non-stop thought and I Non-Stop kept saying there is no way on God's green earth that I would be with a person like you so I know you've done something so could you please with respect clearly give me an answer as to why you was safe with somebody for 20 years please I beg of you help me understand this

    • @Twinmama143
      @Twinmama143 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@miss.l.c.minister I had never heard of narcisissm ever in my life. I wish I knew something about it I would of understood the manipulation a lot better and sooner.

    • @alanalane2318
      @alanalane2318 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Me 2. Don't feel bad. Been with him since 18..He was 32(unbeknownst to me married) and I am 40 now. I hate the wasted time..but delighted to not end up married.

  • @carriedillmann4455
    @carriedillmann4455 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    OH SO TRUE!
    I lived it for 15 years!🤬

    • @karenk2409
      @karenk2409 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      46 here! Life is so good now!

  • @nabeninja5718
    @nabeninja5718 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Just about to begin the filing for a divorce after 5 years marriage. I survived 1 discard and as she was planning her 2nd I knew something was up. I learned all about covert narcissism’ and NPD and it fit the profile to a t. I felt betrayed and confused and wrestled with my cognitive dissonance for days. The future and our marriage was a hoax. I asked her, what do I need to do to save this marriage? Her reply “you have to make me your only priority”. That’s when I saw her for who she is. I pierced through her mask and all of the last 5 years finally started to make sense. Channels like these and the stories of others have greatly impacted me and helped makes sense of this. I exhausted myself by doing her bidding, even moved to another state for her. Time to reclaim my authentic self. Thanks so much and hope your healing journey takes you to wonderous places. You’re not alone

    • @wandajemison4166
      @wandajemison4166 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm happy for you

    • @natalijamartina
      @natalijamartina 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bravo! I broke up, 3years, I was there with all my heart. But I see now that my love was spread naive. Not the first time, but certainly the last!🖐

  • @karinjanesevanrensburg7511
    @karinjanesevanrensburg7511 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    1 year no contact. Divorced him 2 years ago. He hoovered me 6 months ago, I didn't fall for it. I was wife no 5, he is getting married to wife no 6... at 62 years???? He tried to get his hands on my pension.

  • @jayhibpshman
    @jayhibpshman 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I'm here after breaking an engagement in such a relationship. I still feel guilty even though I know it was abusive. Listening to Jess helps by reminding me that what I 'lost' was unhealthy and was not going to change for the better.
    It still hurts, though with time and no contact, it has softened somewhat.
    Stay safe everyone

    • @ThumbsUpKitty
      @ThumbsUpKitty 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I hope you get peace of mind some day.. Remember that phrase.. "Peace of Mind"

    • @katkos2750
      @katkos2750 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Love is not pain !

    • @natalijamartina
      @natalijamartina 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      How are you doing? Time away helps?

    • @natalijamartina
      @natalijamartina 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@katkos2750 amen!

    • @jayhibpshman
      @jayhibpshman 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@natalijamartinaI still feel it. It just feels farther away and I have new things to think about. So, yes, I would say I am doing better.

  • @tinylittlebutstillalion4101
    @tinylittlebutstillalion4101 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    I am very happy to say that i am not married anymore, i was for 17 years, i am free and Single as a pringle going on 5 years, HURRA ❤

    • @drumdad54sdl47
      @drumdad54sdl47 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "Single as a Pringle.."
      I love it!

  • @sophiaparker1507
    @sophiaparker1507 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    He told me for years that he was going to marry me, 21 years later still nothing and I am glad! Used to be a goal of mine until he gave me an option spend money on the ring and no wedding, or get a cheap ring and small wedding in Vegas!! 😳😔😣!! Glad I am not getting married!

    • @Twinmama143
      @Twinmama143 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sophia, same thing happened to me. We never got married . I met him when I was 16, I’m 36 now. We were engaged but because he didn’t want to be left out, all his friends were getting married.

  • @carolinecavalcante5778
    @carolinecavalcante5778 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Biggest clue that you married and or dated a narcissist is how you feel after you breakup. First confused and drained but slowly after healing you feel a million times better and the biggest proof is pictures. Take a look at yours during the relationship right after and then a few months and years later you will recognize yourself back again when looking in the mirror and you will feel stronger than ever, two other major clues over the time after the breakup

  • @liorasitelman1856
    @liorasitelman1856 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Was married to one but got out of it very early on. Grateful he signed the papers and that I never got pregnant by him. He’s remarried and in a foreign country so completely out of my life

  • @chadposey6906
    @chadposey6906 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    going through a divorce with one now, she's been dragging it out for months, been cheating our entire marriage, just an awful human being

  • @Lifewithlatoya6
    @Lifewithlatoya6 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’m praying my baby daddy marry his ride or die ASAP lol he tried to marry me as the last resort because my feet were out the door 😂 soooooooooooooo fkn HAPPYYYYYYYYY I didn’t do that dumb shit GOD IS GOOD 🙏🏿 🙌🏿

  • @dondion5034
    @dondion5034 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Too late, just found this out, oh Lord.

  • @peterknyk1942
    @peterknyk1942 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Perfect timing for this video, today, Jess! After getting a very long list of everything she wants from the marital home and accumulated marital property including financial, I once again realized that, according to the narcissist “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine and there is no other option”! OMG! 😱 happy Friday, Jess! ☺️

  • @sheilablanton4894
    @sheilablanton4894 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    its all a trick ..

  • @jaycehogan7616
    @jaycehogan7616 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I did a 1 on 1 with Jess this week. The clarity, honesty and understanding is unmatched. I can’t thank her enough for her ear, her knowledge and compassion. She brought to light things I did not see, considered or ever thought about.

  • @JudgeJulieLit
    @JudgeJulieLit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    * marriageable

  • @sumanapal1453
    @sumanapal1453 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Every word was spot on.....So thankful to God & family that I could rebuild my life after the traumatic marital experience.

  • @butslug
    @butslug 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    He told me and everyone else that we were going to get married. So when I dumped him everyone was so shocked. He is like the biggest douche canoe. About six months into our relationship oh, I had already decided that if he proposed I was going to say no.

    • @JessStanley
      @JessStanley  2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Bonus points for fabulous use of the word douchecanoe!

    • @habsfan8768
      @habsfan8768 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just out of curiosity how long were you together after knowing that?

    • @butslug
      @butslug 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@habsfan8768
      Ive been out 18 months. And boy am I so glad that I never married him. So many things were wrong about it. Like he thought I should move in with him. But not bring my kids. It was after we first broke up and got back together that I realized what a toxic dumpster fire he was. I'm going to say it happened around the one-year mark.

    • @habsfan8768
      @habsfan8768 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@butslug interesting....I had an opposite situation...kind of a Stockholm syndrome relationship with an abusive woman who physically, and psychologically abused me...and she completely discarded me out of nowhere, reeled me back in (and I started setting boundaries) only to block me completely...for months and months I was so fucking hurt, and I completely forgot about the negative abuse....until about a year later....now I look back and realized I dodged a huge bullet...she cheated the whole time, and at the end was claiming she was pregnant trying to get me to commit to her fully (with someone else's kid)..

    • @deedeemoore6096
      @deedeemoore6096 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You definitely dodged a bullet that's a good.thing you didn't waste another minute wit that dude and showed him the grand exit !!

  • @sylviaamodeo7090
    @sylviaamodeo7090 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Ya, did his homework on financial gain.....begging me to marry.
    I pray justice and karma will prevail.

  • @jodiburnett6211
    @jodiburnett6211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    All this.
    My narc marriage lasted 4 years and 9 months.
    Of absolute Twilite Zone Hell.
    Divorced. No contact. Ughhhhhh.

  • @nolaclarke253
    @nolaclarke253 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A union without true love....interesting! Transactional entanglements.

  • @Antoinette1205
    @Antoinette1205 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Not me thank you🔥🔥🔥

  • @sylviaamodeo7090
    @sylviaamodeo7090 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Rebecca Zung..... For sure

  • @MissAllaCinderella
    @MissAllaCinderella 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I needed to hear this! My narc, and really only, best friend of 12 yrs (isn’t that sad?🥺) just asked me to marry him about a week ago… I said no, but my goodness, so many layers there!! Still kinda dumbfounded.

    • @raewynurwin4256
      @raewynurwin4256 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @ODENORE Emmanuel these people are money scammers, true as I breath.

    • @ellensilverman9141
      @ellensilverman9141 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @ODENORE Emmanuel Spammer go away!

    • @ShontaeShakur
      @ShontaeShakur 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too!!!!

  • @joehooper89
    @joehooper89 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    My ex narc fiancé litterally lost her mind in a drug induced mania when her little sister got married. We had been engaged for over 5 years at that point but everytime I went to book the venue and do all the leg work I would end up listening to my gut and call it off before surprising her with the 4/20 wedding she had made clear that she wanted. the red flags that would pop up when I would start diverting some of my paycheck towards deposits saved me. Later on after I discovered that the money I was taking had interfered with her ability to get supply for her addiction issues that she had been hiding from us for 3 years

    • @a.c.4732
      @a.c.4732 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      wtf goes on in their minds , Joe ?
      Every time I try to process this thought, I just end up totally confused and bewildered ....
      God give me the strength to stay away , this time for good .

  • @charlenewall4950
    @charlenewall4950 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You described my life. After 25 years I divorced him. It was awful but I got out.

  • @stevehartwell1861
    @stevehartwell1861 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Too right.

  • @natsdaley9615
    @natsdaley9615 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Spot on ...
    I was a good step mum with a flat that was cheap rent he was able to save his money always wanted separate bank accounts though as I was bad with money 💰 Now looking back I see I was just another in a long line of another's.... Thanks Jess

  • @josephmelnyk9988
    @josephmelnyk9988 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    leaving my narc ex was the best thing ever and my girl I have now is so wonderful

  • @jannlewandowski5540
    @jannlewandowski5540 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hello again Jess. My ex narc married 2 weeks after I left him. That was a long time ago. I KNOW he married a very RICH woman, therefore he will be taken care of. Who knows where he is today? He was very GREEDY...

  • @brennagill2355
    @brennagill2355 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I really enjoyed this video.I am 52 years old and have never been married.This video is the truth.I always run away for my own safety .June 2022

  • @JacK-qn4zh
    @JacK-qn4zh 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    They are only there for one reason...To Benefit from.

  • @andrebrown3456
    @andrebrown3456 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Just how long for the new supply who married a narc, take to catch on to how abuses the narc is?

  • @danielskyles6184
    @danielskyles6184 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    good word Jess

  • @cherylthompson2731
    @cherylthompson2731 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My friend married someone 13 years ago because she was pregnant?? Not...
    13 years later, he is a shell of a man and his twin boys have been put in the middle all this time. With her bad mouthing him, he has tried to leave but, she needs someone to take care of her and pay her bills.
    Whenever he leaves, she gets sick, falls, burns herself. I wish I could get legal help for him 😔

  • @lindsay5348
    @lindsay5348 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This was incredible

  • @BLHz8blah1
    @BLHz8blah1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The first thing my narc ex told me when I started grey rock and I quote "You are putting me in a position that I don't want to be in, I don't want to be alone."

    • @raewynurwin4256
      @raewynurwin4256 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @ODENORE Emmanuel go away voodoo not needed here

    • @ellensilverman9141
      @ellensilverman9141 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@raewynurwin4256 Those three little dots in the right hand corner of his comments...report it, because it's unwanted solicitation

  • @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp
    @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you Jess for this video and teach me a lot that what a narcissist is all about it's crazy but it's reality thank you for this video again Jess have a great day

  • @donnaditredici8213
    @donnaditredici8213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Will they re marry

  • @chriswalls5831
    @chriswalls5831 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    That's a good thing not marrying them

  • @wildthang68
    @wildthang68 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The narc I know, I think he has to have one steady girl so he has somebody to cheat and sneak around on because it's not fun unless he's hurting or deceiving some one it's part of the thrill for him

  • @Rainbowlorikeetbebe
    @Rainbowlorikeetbebe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Brilliant message Jess, thankyou so very much 👏

  • @Speedracer-Girl
    @Speedracer-Girl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    The narc I was dating was separated. But, apparently, that was just for show. As we moved further along into being an exclusive couple, I saw the first red flag when he really wasn't full time employed at the tire shop. He seemed to have a lot of time off, but the excuses about not getting put on the schedule started. Then his car got side-swiped and he called the soon-to-be ex to help him pay for it. Then his dentures cracked (yep DENTURES at 44!) and he needed her help again since he was under her med/dent while his divorce was in process. At their proceedings, he asked for half: house, cars/bikes, bank, and her 401k. Well, she was going to give him all that he asked.
    Something was rotten in Denmark: I was in the process of selling/buying a house when we started dating and he offered $50K out of his divorce settlement to pay towards the down payment. This was where my gut sounded the final alarms!
    The Truth: He hadn't worked in 7 years and was living off of her. He also had no right to her 401k or half the accounts as he hadn't contributed in YEARS. They had been married for 13 years and he was coddled and given everything by her. I said if he was serious, he would pay me 2 months rent up front. I did this as a final way to confirm if those actions weren't just more lip service, now coming my way. With clarity, I was seeing him manipulate and leech and this was what saved me from being his next, long time victim.
    He ghosted me and I recently learned he got her to buy him 2 motorcycles and a brand new Four Runner. Oh, and the divorce was rescinded (the court house confirmed) 3 days after he moved back "home to mommy"!
    They are slimy, slimy parasites!

    • @prtyinpinkxoxo
      @prtyinpinkxoxo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      His dentures cracked OMG my is 60 years old but his dentures really cracked cuz he showed them to me over video chat pathological liars who gives to his shits I woke up this morning with a text I probably not going to hear from you today probably put a bug in my ear cuz he's probably with his secondary since he's been with me for 4 days making up for lost time LOL

    • @prtyinpinkxoxo
      @prtyinpinkxoxo 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @ODENORE Emmanuel I see you put the same reply on everybody's comments I don't need anybody's help I can't even stand this guy but if he thinks he's playing a game with me I'll take the gifts in the meantime I live 18 hours away from him I work three jobs seven days a week totally 81 hours a week don't have time for the b******* and I'm 60 years old I'm not in f****** high school

    • @jamesritch5245
      @jamesritch5245 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That dude must of have crazy D game 😂

    • @jamesritch5245
      @jamesritch5245 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @ODENORE Emmanuel ol fake ass spam with nothing better to do

    • @rociorizo8469
      @rociorizo8469 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow

  • @maedouglas9177
    @maedouglas9177 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you
    You so much 🙋

  • @stephleesimmons8501
    @stephleesimmons8501 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks, you are spot on

  • @GroovyChic868
    @GroovyChic868 ปีที่แล้ว

    I left narcissist after a 5 yr relationship. He moved on to one and found another one. This one had a house, do he discarded the first one. Do you think he might propose to this new source since she has a nice house? She moved him in after less than 3 months of dating.

  • @sherryfrisbie5956
    @sherryfrisbie5956 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I lived every point you shared...10 years free. Thank you Jess~

  • @kimmidojo6102
    @kimmidojo6102 ปีที่แล้ว

    Man, I needed to hear this!! Great timing!! Thank you ❤

  • @jackiep5009
    @jackiep5009 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    We started arguing over marriage. It had been nine years and I moved to his family land. It was time on my book. But his Narc spider mother was dead against me having anything of their family. His new supply I believe is the ex wife or someone else chose. By her. Evil evil evil

  • @dennismccole7255
    @dennismccole7255 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    they accused U of cheating when they r, they r always projecting

  • @MT-ee1ez
    @MT-ee1ez 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Good stuff Jess, keep up the good work!

  • @Grrrrrrr123
    @Grrrrrrr123 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    He forced the engagement but then didn’t want to marry which was strange we are divorcing now as we did eventually marry

  • @christinemunger7054
    @christinemunger7054 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video!

  • @Anna-gz2sh
    @Anna-gz2sh 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's so funny when you said about being a doormat....my narc told me that I need to smile more often when he comes through the door. I have to stand in front of it as he comes in and smile. I just can't take his stupidity. I want to leave but how do I move? I feel financially incarcerated. Houses are so overpriced, I could never afford and rents have been tripled in price. What are my options? Wish I had a windfall. But can't count on wishes.

    • @katkos2750
      @katkos2750 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Smile more often LOL

    • @katkos2750
      @katkos2750 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Separate yourself from him mentally and start working towards your goal to be independent of him .. over time you can plan your exit for good !

  • @Kestrel99
    @Kestrel99 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My fiancé lured me in with multiple trauma stories. Down the road she asked me how I felt about signing a prenup. I had 4 times the assets she had and she said she would get her dad’s inheritance. Her dad was a Foot Locker manager😂.
    I said sure let’s get one and from there the discard was on. The abuse was on before that but she was still in it until my prenup comment

  • @Mothermochi
    @Mothermochi 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ahh got married and then tried to make him grow up and go to therapy. Now he is saying I abuse him because I started having boundaries

  • @stevenlangdon-griffiths293
    @stevenlangdon-griffiths293 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video is correct

  • @donnaditredici8213
    @donnaditredici8213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What are the requirements for a nar to marry

  • @Bigpatriot1776
    @Bigpatriot1776 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    My ex narc of 18 years married one of her 3rd party supplies and since then her new victim paid her collection debt and now is on the second car her new victim husband bought her in two years, it's disgusting how a narc will sell their soul and body for materialistic gain. I feel sorry for her clueless new victim

  • @lorainegardener559
    @lorainegardener559 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    True words

  • @MarsWolf81
    @MarsWolf81 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What if you're struggling to know for sure if you are with a narcissist? I feel like you're talking about my situation but I still can't seem to wrap my head around this being my truth..

    • @natsdaley9615
      @natsdaley9615 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You'll never get the answer dear one. But if you're asking is it me it's not you trust me x

    • @Bella-Luna777
      @Bella-Luna777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It's due to the cognitive dissonance, you will never truly wrap your head around it because you're not the psychopath!

    • @aselyne5631
      @aselyne5631 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Trust me you never wrap your head around it...that's just how demonic these people are

    • @natalijamartina
      @natalijamartina 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s true when you ask yourself. Trust yourself. Always!

  • @tinahiggins2932
    @tinahiggins2932 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Marriage to a narcissist is like cutting of your own leg!!! And the divorce to him down loading the paperwork like pro. Making threats so I would sign off. After he begged me to marry him. Said no 6plus times. Smh!SMH!! Marriage meant nothing to him he even forgot 2 anniversary. It was like a tile to a car. Sad wish I could sue him for mental and physical damage because boy did he do a number. Nothing but lies I don't even know who he is or was. Had knew supplie with in days. 3months later they buy house together.. so much wasted time and energy. So Rebecca I asked her before never received a answer what can if anything we do about this is the courts??? Is there anything?? I was totally left screwed and in major debt the whole marriage is on my credit card... and he acts like I never existed... HELP!!!!!

  • @brendaleverick3655
    @brendaleverick3655 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    They marry someone who adores them and who looks great and whom is young.

  • @kathyjenkins4067
    @kathyjenkins4067 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The ex psychopath narc wanted to get married cause he wanted my house. Thank goodness I didn't marry him!

  • @sandy0519871
    @sandy0519871 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Finally did it after 10 years smh and now getting a divorce 🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @jannlewandowski5540
    @jannlewandowski5540 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My ex narc wanted to get married, but after 5 years, I realized I was FUTURE FAKED. He had no intentions of marrying me. I left him, and weeks later, he rebounded and married her! How crazy Is that? Well this was 10.7 years ago and I am fine now. I BLOCKED HIM, CHANGED MY PHONE #, AND I MOVED. I'M back to my normal self, and as far as that DEMON is concerned, I hope the women he dates figure him out and dump him like I did.

    • @mariansinger2596
      @mariansinger2596 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @ODENORE Emmanuel SPAM

    • @natalijamartina
      @natalijamartina 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      How are you doing? My situation, just lasted 3 years.

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@natalijamartina This is now 2023, and I am fine. Time heals. I hope you are well.

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@Marian Singer HI Marian, it's 2023, Feb. I'm doing fine. Time does heal, and when you have a good support system, that helps a lot. I hope you are also doing well..Take care..

  • @sharonbell1094
    @sharonbell1094 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Through the discard, my ex actually informed me he changed his mind about marrying me when my dad told us he'd changed my name leaving his properties to me into half my son's name. He saw the red flags when he told my parents he wanted to marry me after only a few weeks. My ex said, the fact I'd told him I'd do a prenup as he had nothing and I had and will have a lot, meant I didn't trust him. 🤨 Hmmm ...
    They're weird things, aren't they?

    • @sharonbell1094
      @sharonbell1094 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @ODENORE Emmanuel sure you did, but I think you're on the wrong page as no one here wants their ex back. 🧐
      Please remove your dodgy link.

    • @raewynurwin4256
      @raewynurwin4256 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@sharonbell1094 scammers for sure.

  • @spacegirl226
    @spacegirl226 ปีที่แล้ว

    My ex husband latched on to me because I was going places and he was stuck. I didn't want to get married, though he told me repeatedly he wanted to marry me since we were "already together." I wasted a decade on this creep. Once he had me trapped, everything went south. My health, my hopes and dreams, my life -- everything became about how I could keep him happy. He wanted a mommy and a maid, not a wife. He didn't act like a husband or a man even once. When the situation got rough, he ran away like a coward and left me standing alone to hold the bag.
    We've been divorced now for a full year. He has already remarried -- to the woman he was grooming and cheating on me with. The only thing I can say after finding this out and analyzing the situation is that he can't be alone and has moved from woman to woman to woman. He needs the supply. He needs someone else to pay the bills. He needs a place to live. No one falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs a place to live. And he's going to treat this younger partner the same way he treated me. What idiot gets married to a man who was cheating on his spouse with you? And you don't think he'll do it to you once he gets bored of you?
    Well, not my problem now. I put in my time and wasted more than a decade on this cretin. Childhood trauma has ruined me, and now I'm doing my best to heal from it and stop the cycle from happening again.
    Stay strong, survivors. You'll get through this.
    Thank you, Jess.

  • @prtyinpinkxoxo
    @prtyinpinkxoxo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    LOL I was laughing my ass off I was listening to you Jess he lives in another state and he's been coming twice a month to see me for like 3 days so it's like 6 days out of the month for the last couple of months he's been doing this we all know he's with his main one when he lived here with me the only way I make him think he can control me as he sends me money and he buys me tons of gifts every month it's my monthly allowance he calls it LOL keep the f****** gifts flowing buddy I know what you're all about

    • @carpathia0117
      @carpathia0117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I've done the long distance thing myself because I like the romantic aspect of it, you can't miss someone who's always around and I like my space for my friends, job, interests but for them it's just bed hopping and keeping multiple people on a tether.

    • @prtyinpinkxoxo
      @prtyinpinkxoxo 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@carpathia0117 right now he's texting me and tells me he doesn't like my tone in my voice LMAO I'm hip to what he's doing and you think that I would do great myself to be on his level the romantic part of my end the guy is ugly as f*** he pushed his way into my life and you know how the story goes I have my own life here with my children and I work three jobs I work 81 hours a week I don't have time for his f****** b******* and I told that to his face many times when he came

    • @cathrineflanagan6617
      @cathrineflanagan6617 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I was in the exact same that situation that ended recently, but there comes a time when it becomes so miserable to be around a whiney, bragging, baby that always has to be right about everything. Watch out when his other personality comes out. Usually happens when he's contemplating another supply or getting bored. My narc suddenly turned psycho and was angry about all the things he gave me, screaming and threatening me. I'm glad it was over the phone because I think he could have done some damage. I'm not worried about him, he lives a few states away but be careful they can turn on a dime. Also keep in mind he probably has multiple sex partners so protect yourself

    • @prtyinpinkxoxo
      @prtyinpinkxoxo 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Roads are reversed now I'm the long distance because I was the secondary and he still has the main one but remember they're just roommates LMAO it doesn't bother me I let him know it doesn't bother me I said I don't give a s*** you're got a harem of girls down there don't ever accuse me of something when you're the one that's doing it and I also put it out there I'm not the one that lives with you and the only reason why he buys me things and sends me money is to control me to keep me here for I won't be with anybody else cuz he is nothing to look at his body shot he can't even talk to talk anymore because I see through the b******* the only thing that I can say is fat lady Jess knows what she is talking about whatever anything that I'm going through with this ass wipe she puts out a video of what I was going through at the time like this married video when I saw her come on my home screen on my phone I listen to it I'm like just lady knows her f****** s***she's so funny. He's not pulling all over my eyes if he wants to continue to send me money and gifts fine by me that doesn't mean I got to sit when the common Dad throws orders at me and talks about my tone and I don't give two s**** about him after for everything that he did for me no he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he knows me I'm a hard one to crack LMAO

  • @donnaditredici8213
    @donnaditredici8213 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ty have a great day blocked everything still texting me asking to text him

  • @OSTARAEB4
    @OSTARAEB4 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I know two NARC women I’ve gone NC with. I met one’s husband only once. The other didn’t act like a woman in love with him. I met him numerous times and he was socially awkward but successful and the best Ivy League and good institutions in employee. She didn’t come from such a background. They never had children and they’re now divorced for many years. She rarely worked and couldn’t hold a job for long when she did. She got a substantial settlement and she’s now with another guy for many years. I now see her pattern and both are malignant female Narcs that remora from one man to another for the money 💰. Disgusting, dark, no soul women.

  • @phoenixrising2671
    @phoenixrising2671 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Glad I was not marriage material due to all of these reasons. 😆😆😆😆🙌🙌🙌🙌

  • @mariansinger2596
    @mariansinger2596 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I am now divorced and happily made him a 3 time loser.

  • @deb2319
    @deb2319 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Acurate!

  • @jesuswilljudge7296
    @jesuswilljudge7296 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This narc that went ghost on me in 1999, married a chick 4 months after sleeping with me cause she's from Brooklyn and I'm from long island, he used her so he can look at skyscrapers and buildings, and go to wall street, they are opportunists, now he's divorced lol.

  • @ritadoran5039
    @ritadoran5039 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    No they will not marry you but they will use u for every last bit of love. Light and energy
    My idiot ex thought I was not wealthy enough 4 him
    Im a great human being and a heart of gold his loss my gain

  • @johncappuccio4198
    @johncappuccio4198 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I've been married for over 8 years to this person. She filed for divorce a few days before Thanksgiving last year. We have 3 kids , 2 girls 7.5 yrs and a boy 4.5 yrs old. The first 4 years were crazy , but I thought it was because she was a meth/heroin/alcoholic who had supported her habit by prostitution. I thought if I removed her from the streets she would get better. As I said after 4 years she finally went to rehab. It got a little better which I was happy about, but then I started to see the real her. The drugs seemed to keep her more under control, so I thought. It wasn't until after she filed for divorce 5 months ago, that I finally found out what was going on.
    She called me a Narcissist ? I had never been called that before. Looked it up and my mind was expanded 10X. Everything I read about a Narcissist and how they treat their supply was exactly what she had been doing to me for years.
    I've been reading and listening to just about everything I can get to help me to process and get my life together. It still isn't over because she's fighting for the kids and has already brought her new supply over to the house . He stayed over for almost 2 weeks and the kids saw them engaging in various sex acts. They haven't recovered since.
    I'm so thankful for what your doing , you've helped me so much. You've helped me and my kids start to get our lives back together. You are SUPER SPOT ON in this video about why they marry.

    • @JaneDoe-ng3zm
      @JaneDoe-ng3zm ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm a trucker truckers say you can't make a housewife out of a whore they will always go back to the street lifestyle,so true

  • @intentionallyqueen.478
    @intentionallyqueen.478 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    But they will future fake the hell out of you if you allow them.

  • @alycatuniverse6901
    @alycatuniverse6901 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How do I know if his a Narc ? I need help. Is there a way I can email you ?

    • @JessStanley
      @JessStanley  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If you'd like to set up an appointment to talk with me you can email bookachatwithjess@gmail.com

  • @alaskanpersuasion9190
    @alaskanpersuasion9190 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Haha I know a narc who is always the bride and never the bridesmaid 😂🤣😂🤣

  • @ericnorthman9410
    @ericnorthman9410 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Money. He never wore his wedding ring never ....

  • @cttofl8822
    @cttofl8822 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    And when you say marriages and divorces costs $$$ oh yes it does and they will be having MORE & MORE of those . Not just 1 or 2 but these narcs will have and be living multiple and double lives !!!

  • @Peacealways247
    @Peacealways247 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    He told everyone we were getting married after about 8 months of us becoming involved. After 3 dates he told me he trusted me...HAHHAA!!! Wow, but I didn't tell him I trusted him. I told him, um, you don't even know me like that but whatever. He began trying to impress my family, tried acting like he was my SAVIOR, he had issues with my many of my friends which I told him I was NOT letting them go for him. We went on a mini vacation with my parents, he acted a fool because my step son met us for dinner who is 30+ yo and he acted like someone asked him to pay child support for him. After my parents him him yelling about that issue, he then asked me not to talk to anyone about "our issues", I told him he's the one with the issues. When he began to act really weird, I spoke with his ONLY friend, he got mad about that too so I KNOW I was NOT marriage material for him. 10 months later, he marries someone who gave up her apartment and I must say, her peace to be with him. She has adult kids who live in another state. I know she's going after the material things as he has a big house but it's really nothing but a hell hole...she'll find out sooner or later because he controls everything.

  • @leo-wr6do
    @leo-wr6do 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm ashamed to admit it....I was a great source of supply......I don't know how I got away....she got tired of trying to marry me. I still love her but she's no good.

  • @davidmcguire9803
    @davidmcguire9803 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    She works at The World Bank Married her husband for Money (500K a year). She cheated but never left. He found out and took her back. Then he cheated -She Divorced Him and cleaned him out. Still talks about The Ex constantly. She's on the Hunt for $$$$ Supply.

  • @johnpaul2285
    @johnpaul2285 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    💍⚰️

  • @clnhunter9137
    @clnhunter9137 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    My ex girlfriend narc has the nickname of “runaway bride “.

    • @clnhunter9137
      @clnhunter9137 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      She also would never marry me, thank God, I stood up for myself … she wouldn’t even refer to me as a boyfriend … that I consider a complement …