I had My daughter at 30 weeks during Covid 19 and couldn’t hold her for 4 days after I gave birth, after 6 weeks in NICU and The last 3 weeks in Special care- my partner couldn’t see her for those 3 weeks due to restrictions changing She is now a beautiful bouncing 2yr old who has beat all her milestones by ridiculous amounts Even after 2 yrs I am still seeing a postpartum therapist for everything I went though but I am so much better than what I was and accepting that everything my partner and I went though was our own journey cause I kept comparing to all my other friends pregnancy’s. You and Keith are so strong and will get stronger going on this premmies journey My love to you both and your lil family 🖤
I appreciate that Becky and Keith kept the pregnancy off line. I think there is so much of our lives on the internet. It’s wonderful to see people set healthy boundaries.
Yes! Plus you get to avoid all of the "advice" from ppl telling you what to do and not do, having to hear everyone's opinions, prying questions, etc. I mean, ik most ppl mean well but ppl also don't know when to keep their opinions to themselves when it comes to something as life changing as this.
At this point I’m not mad that you know who isn’t there anymore and more sad that he took Ariel and the boys from all their longtime friends and tarnished some sweet memories :(
@@gemstone108THIS. This is what crushed me the most about the incident that shall not be named. I was truly heartbroken for Ariel and those poor little boys losing their closest friend circle all for that assholes actions. Some part of me hopes that they keep in touch with Ariel off camera and just don’t want to admit it because people will always insinuate that you can’t be friends with one without the other, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem like it. It’s such a sad situation for all parties, all except _one._
@@ellespoonies im sure they keep in touch - they are all friends after all, bounded as sisters. I do not think it is about "not wanting to admit it" but more about the privacy aspect so that the past or any negative associations with it are not brought up. I hope and want to be sure that we will see Ariel some time together with the girls :)
Besides crying during the whole episode and being extremely happy for them, Becky described me “I want to be a mom, but don’t want to go through the pregnancy and birthing stage”
Yes! I think it was so nice to hear someone else express this and it not be met with judgement. I love kids, I think I would make a wonderful mother someday and I can see Becky already is and will continue to be an AMAZING Mama. But pregnancy scares me to death. It looks and sounds so uncomfortable, there are so many risks and complications, labor can be so traumatic and I really wish I could have a child but skip all of that lol. My only options would be adoption or surrogacy though.
@@lexilion16 What sucks is that it's so much money if you want to go surrogacy. I get it, the person going through the pregnancy should be well taken care of, but it makes it not easy for the people who either had a terrible first pregnancy, so can't really carry another, or the family's that really want a child, but is scared to carry the child.
It does! One of my oldest acquaintances used the mother's maiden name as a first name for one of their kids, and when paired with his last name, it sounds very captain of industry like our new Try Baby.
I think we can all agree that Maggie is the MVP of friendships. She is clearly so valued that she is invited to step in as substitute husband, mother and sister during what sounds like a difficult pregnancy
Vsauce made a video about that phenomenon. Its called "Did People used to look older?". Its mainly about why we have the feeling that our parents looked older when they were our age but also about how we have a picture in mind when we think about a specific name.
Yes I was already getting emotional hearing Becky get emotional about her very valid disappointment towards the experience but then I looked over and realized Rachel was crying for her and it made me even MORE emotional! Lol the love these ladies have for each other is unmatched and them and their children are so lucky to be surrounded by people with so much love and good will for each other
I wanted a c section because I have MS and the hospital refused until one Dr in the whole hospital said she's getting the c section BUT if that Dr was not in the hospital I was told multiple times the on call Dr could override that call and have me do natural birth with no epidural because the pain people said they wouldn't give me one because of my MS. Luckily everything worked out to plan but my anxiety was through the roof over being forced to do natural birth without any drugs and then having an episode post birth.
@@karlimiller3279Damn, that sucks glad it turned out alright ❤. I am 19 and have MS too. I’m not having kids for a WHILE, but I too, am planning to have a c-section since I have a skeletal muscle disorder that would make giving birth more difficult. Knowing you may not have the option would terrify me, you rock!
@@DentInEden when the time comes remember to hold firm in what you want. The way some doctors spoke to me was absurd. I was born a month early and so was my sister so I wanted my birth plan way in advance and a male doctor said it was more reason to do natural because it would be a small baby.
@@karlimiller3279 Haha, don't worry. If there is one good thing about having MS, a congenital muscle disorder, and just being plain stubborn; is that I will stand firm regarding my health. I once had severe stomach pain and a male doctor thought i was having pre-mentruel cramps and over exaggerating. Turns out my digestive system had stopped contracting and I now need to take medicine for it 😅
I just love Becky's use of language- how she kept correcting herself from saying "Until he gets better at xyz" to "Until his body gets better at xyz". That subtle change makes all the difference and melts my cold heart.
That nurse who said “I’m so sorry your decisions were taken away” was honestly the most touching thing, it seems clear Becky truly appreciated that moment. Coming from someone who’s gone through their own trauma (not labor ofc), the people who acknowledge it and give empathy is the best support from my experience. I’m glad at least one person was able to give that to Becky. Major congrats to Becky, Keith, and Henry! I’m glad they’re happy now and recovering from that insane labor experience. Not surprising at all that Henry loves being outside with people lol.
i've noticed how opposite keith and becky's approach to raising a kid as public figures is from what wife-guy's was. I think keith was able to see first hand the negative repercussions of having your kid well-known to millions of people can have and was able to learn from that and handle it so much more responsibly!
I'm very glad they made that decision! I think that the whole situation made them more cautious, but overall Keith and Becky have been more clear about their boundaries with private life and what goes on the internet, and they don't really monetise their relationship in that sense, so I do think that they would have been private nonetheless
As soon as Becky started talking about the nurse saying "I'm sorry your choices were taken away" I started bawling. It's great to have people around who are upbeat and positive, of course. But it's sooo impactful to have someone validate the emotions and grief you feel when you have an experience go so far sideways from what you were hoping for ❤
41:25 this part reminds me of the hunger games when cinna meets katniss. he goes "im sorry this happened to you" and she says "most people just congratulate me" and i feel like that shows how much that nurse empathized with becky instead of the others just brushing away all the bad things as if that wasn't an awful experience
I was like that with my niece. Her mom didn't want to ask anyone if they wanted to hold her in case we'd think it was because she didn't want to hold her own kid. Young, first time mom fears and all that. I was like "give me that baby" and then I didn't want to let her go.
@@imjuliewatersthe only way to be really lol. I respect every parents right to decide who is allowed and when they're allowed to hold their baby and if they say no that's perfectly fine and I'm honored just to see them. But if you're comfortable with letting me hold your baby omg yes please, washing my hands now so I can hold that precious little loaf lol
The anesthesiologist should thank their lucky stars Keith was out of the room when he said that awful thing to Becky. Also can’t believe that Keith was also rehearsing as Juliet through all of this !
I had a shattered leg and a kneecap dislocated in the wrong direction for 14 hours (and grinding on a nerve) after coming in an ambulance to the ER and waiting to just see a doctor. When I got taken for xrays so they could check if more damage had been caused by the 14 hour wait, the xray tech grabbed and violently twisted my leg under the scanner. And then yelled at me that I needed to relax and stop moving or she couldn't scan me. Turns out in doing that she ADDED fractures to my leg. But my screaming was "dramatic"
Sobbing with Becky at 42:00. I'm so sorry that your birth story was completely out of your control, so painful and not at all what you expected, but so happy for you and Keith!! You're going to be the best parents to little Henry💙
I did too! I was a bit surprised cause I have no personal experience with birth/pregnancy. But I'm all too familiar with doctors dismissing your pain and being patronising a-holes 😢
As an Occupational Therapist, thank you to Maggie and Becky for shouting us out, we rarely get mentioned and most people don't know what we do, so that was awesome ❤
My 9 yr old daughter saw an OT at a center for 3 years and gets in school services as well right now. She has so much more core strength to do so many things now and better fine motor skills as well. Thank you so much for all that you guys do!!
Rachel is the most woman championing woman in the world and I love her. Also, made my heart so warm that Maggie stepped in to go to appointments with Becky. Ugh! Love you women! Congrats, Becky & Keith, Henry is SO lucky!
Thanks to Becky for her generosity here - she didn't have to share any of this but she did. I also had a high risk pregnancy and then birth trauma. Hearing other stories is so validating.
the fact that Keith and Becky don't have immediate family here but everyone from the workplace is literally not letting them feel any discomfort is so heartwarming. maggie and zach, nick and rachel, eugene and matt and everyone else in the second try. so beautiful and wholesome
Becky talking about the writhing in pain and no epidural portion of her labour was honestly so nice and validating to hear. That portion parallels what I went through giving birth and the “well you can’t get an epidural if you don’t sit still” why is it always a male anesthesiologist who could never understand the pain saying that? Anyways thank you Becky for being willing to share, and congratulations to you and Keith!
I had a room full of female nurses literally laugh at me and tell me to stop being dramatic when i was crying in pain. One's set of genitalia does not impact their ability to treat and understand pain. Doctors treat pain unfamiliar to them all the time.
I'm a doctor, I know us newer doctors are mindful of having good bedside manners, but some of the older doctors are very rude...But yes we really appreciate the work the nurses do.
as a med student graduating next year some of this was hard to hear, but it's necessary to hear too. the only thing i would offer a different perspective on is the doctors having the "5 minutes of glory" while the nurses do all the work. of COURSE nurses do a lot of work and are wonderful for their patients, but so much of the work doctors do is big picture behind the scenes stuff that isn't necessarily visible to patients and family. it just really sucks when doctors aren't able to communicate and work with their patients well.
@@OceanLover1188 you’ve completely misunderstood. They were quoting the video… it was either Becky or Rachel that referenced ‘5 minutes of glory’. That’s not how the commenter feels and it’s not how most doctors ever perceive it. I get it might seem that way for patients but for the doctor that’s 5 minutes of a day sandwiched in between lots of other pressures and emergencies. That’s what they’re trying to say.
I ended up having an un/under medicated c-section because no one believed my pain and thought I was just feeling normal pressure. It took me years to heal from the trauma of being sliced open and then being told to stop screaming I’m being too loud. Becky, I’m so so sorry you had to endure that. It’s all terrible but Henry is lucky to have you as his mama.
This happened to me too. I kept trying to describe how things were feeling beforehand and the anesthesiologist got tired of it, so they started and I could feel everything. Then he has the nerve to say to me after, "see, I told you it would work out!" Thankfully I at least had great L&D nurses, one of them went out of the recovery room to cuss him out for a good 10 minutes, then came back in and cried with me for at least 20 minutes.
I was having the most insane pain I've ever felt (having already given birth twice) and my nurses were telling me to stop crying and being dramatic... Those ladies were real quiet when they rolled me to surgery when the doctor realised I had been bleeding internally for hours and lost way too much blood.
The most beautiful part of the story (from my perspective) is Keith demonstrating to Becky how to hold her breath. It's the most beautiful thing to find someone who can reach you and communicate when you are in such extremity.
This is the first YCSWU podcast that left me in tears. This episode is a testament as to why pregnancy is such a personal and intimate subject, and people should be respectful of people’s decisions. Such a horrifying birthing story. I’m so glad Becky and baby boy are doing well now, and are happy and healthy. And thankful Keith was such a strong support for Becky and Henry.
I'm so shocked with how they treated Becky's pain in labor. The medical team should be aware that labor is way more intense when the water breaks, but the fact that she was shaking is a sign that she's giving birth. I'm sorry she had to go through that, but I'm glad everyone is happy and healthy now ❤
As soon as she said she was shaking I was like she's in transition and having the baby like now! I understand not wanting to chance infectious but when my water broke without me going into labor they put me on antibiotics almost right away. They should have been checking her more that's insane.
It sadly doesn’t surprise me anymore. Healthcare has become an absolute fucking shitshow train wreck in this United States now. The Healthcare system HEAVILY needs to be reformed. Staffing to patient ratios need to be so much more safer, benefits need to be more sufficient for staffing. Healthcare should not be transactional and for profit.
L&D nurse here! Magnesium is given for neuro protection and then betamethasone is given to help the lungs in preterm babies! Also if they told you an epidural can wear off they’re full of it! Epidurals are a continuous infusion into the epidural space, they don’t wear off. And if you do manage to gain feeling back it’s almost always remedied with a larger dose of meds added. However, Congrats Becky and Keith!!! So happy for you guys!
The amount of times my jaw dropped at Becky's experience with the doctors in the hospital. I cannot. I hope now post-partum she can make the choices she wants to and gets all the support she needs and wants.
I just had a traumatic pregnancy and early birth this past May, and I don’t know if Becky is feeling the same way I do, but it’s like you’re grieving for the experience you had but feel like you shouldn’t because your baby is here and you’re both healthy. It is so hard because we don’t often talk about these things. Sending you big hugs, Becky. As my nurse in the hospital said - “just let it out, you don’t have to let it go.”
You can grieve the past experience while also being happy and grateful for the safe and happy present. Pregnancy, child birth, and post partum (particularly NICU) journeys require a lot of courage. Take all the time you need to acknowledge and process your emotions, they are valid ❤❤❤
It absolutely is a grieving experience.. it was the scariest and hardest but best day of my life. You grieve, girl. I had my son in march and still grieve. Sending love
It’s totally a grieving experience, you had this idea and it wasn’t that way. I remember hearing other babies in the rooms around me right after I gave birth. There is so much more to that but I definitely understand
My daughter is 6 and I still grieve over elements of her birth experience even though she's happy, healthy and we've had an excellent 6 years. Trauma is rough. ❤
as tough as it was for becky, hearing about her and keith’s support system was so heartwarming. so beautiful. not everyone has that and it brought me to happy tears hearing about that
I think the reason that fans have been so respectful is because that is the kind of environment that y'all cultivate. So kudos to y'all for making your spot on the internet/social media respectful and understanding! Also, congratulations!
Also new doctor here, this was rough to hear, but unsurprising, unfortunately 😢. I’ve met some truly horrible older doctors that really need to retire and stay retired…! The nurses can also be hit or miss, but they do a huge brunt of the work in most situations and sometimes were the only people that would treat med students as humans. Im so sorry you had a horrific experience with turkey man. So glad that Henry is okay and you’re okay!! 🧡
I think a big part of it is also that our medical system has continuously de-prioritized doctors spending time at the bedside. Doctors are so bogged down with administrative tasks and pressured to shorten visit slots and increase patient load that patient care really suffers. This is definitely also one of the major contributors to physician burnout
The nurses on my ob/gyn rotation were the absolute worst. I genuinely considered dropping out of PA school altogether because of how I was treated on that labor and delivery unit. It makes me dread when I inevitably have to go to one as a patient.
Rachel crying with Becky is so stinkin precious. Rachel is mother. Also, I literally was cooking dinner yesterday and I thought, “I wonder if Becky and Keith want or plan to have kids. They seem like they would be good parents.” Later, my sister was like, “did you hear about Keith and Becky?!” - like you are our personal friends. I never would comment or dm any questions about having kids because it’s so personal and such a big deal for couples but it was just crazy that I had that little thought and then all the sudden, you had a baby! So happy everyone is okay and sooo sorry you had to go through all of that. Thank you to Maggie, Rachel , Keith and “the village” helping and supporting y’all.
35:54 hearing Keith’s reaction and about him cheering you on saying, “we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna be okay” has got me in TEARS. SUCH an intense experience Becky, so grateful everyone is home safely and happy and healthy! Excited for you both 😁🩵
Congrats Becky, Keith and Habersbaby! ❤ Even if you had just decided to tell us the intro to this episode "everyone is happy and healthy," and left it at that, that is way more than what we the audience are entitled to. In any case, it is good to have you back because I love your beauty advise and special brand of chaos lol
“This was the start of a really unfun time in my life” …as a long term current NICU mama (we still have at least 2 more months) this hit so hard! Especially talking about losing the golden hour. I wasn’t able to hold her for 5 days because she was on a ventilator and 6 weeks before I could non-nutritive nurse. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s helping to process my own.
As a fellow NICU mom, the part about not being able to have all of the post birth experiences really hit home. It’s a loss all on its own, especially when it’s your first born.
36:27 I don’t know why this part made me tear up-like of course it’s funny, but also it’s just so sweet to see a partner be so…dependable I guess? Relied upon? Not totally sure what I mean, it’s just so sweet
I immediately started crying right when Becky started crying. You are so strong and so brave. I'm so sorry that your birth experience was far from ideal, but I am so proud of you, Keith, and Henry. So happy that you three are healthy.
Dear Becky, I decided to skip the episode because yes, pregnancy and childbirth stories are triggering to me; so please don't take it personally, because it doesn't lessen my happiness for you. All I needed to know, I found from the comments: it's a boy named Henry (a statesman's name if I ever heard one), he is fine, all-y'all are fine. I am certain that you and Keith will be great parents, that Henry-bean will be raised with the love and the laughter you've enjoyed for your whole marriage. You got this, grrrl. Much goodwill from Tampa, Florida.
This is a very sweet comment to leave. I'm sorry the subject here was sensitive to you- I'm sorry you went/are going through tough times. But your kindness here shows you are a kind of light in this world that should keep on shining bright. You showed up here as best you could to support Becky and the team here. I hope you have just as loving people around you to support you as well. 💞
My son just came home from 60 days in the NICU July 31st ♥️ he was 10 weeks early. Hearing Becky talk about that first 24 hours is so powerful. I remember laying in postpartum at night hearing babies cry in neighboring rooms, knowing their moms were holding and comforting them and just crying all night thinking about my baby in a box alone on the other side of the hospital. Thank you for sharing this ♥️ if you’re a NICU mama too, look up Dear NICU Mama podcast 🥰
My daughter is 10. I didn’t have any of the bonding things because she needed open heart surgery. And people are amazed at how close we are. Kids don’t remember the very beginning, they know who is with them everyday. I am so happy for you and so sorry you didn’t have a great beginning.
Ugh, don't even get me started on abortion laws and assistance for new mothers here in the U.S. Rachel summed it up perfectly: "You have to have this baby, and good fucking luck." That aside, congrats to Becky and Keith on Baby Habs! You all don't owe us anything when it comes to your personal lives, but Becky, I appreciate you sharing your experiences all the same!
@@fineacorndefine necessary. Example: if your fetus has a Down syndrome you cannot abort it. If mother is not in direct danger you cannot make an abortion. Even if the fetus has genetic defects and high probability of “not making it” you’re still forced to give birth just because you’re not in danger as a mother. You’re choice doesn’t matter. What’s even more terrifying is that doctors are refusing procedures even if you ARE in danger because the law is very unspecific about what causes harm for mother and what doesn’t. There were cases of women dying specifically because of this law.
Becky is the first person I've heard describing the contraction pain as excruciating as they felt when I gave birth to my second child. Just insane, absolutely want-to-escape-my-body level pain. And I feel better hearing you talk about it too, so thank you for sharing :)
I MISSED BECKY’S VOICE. I am so glad Baby and mum are healthy and thriving now. My heart goes out to you for how much of a whirlwind your birth was. All the love thank you so much for sitting with me ❤
Watching Becky talk about her Doula at home is basically what latin moms do for their grandkids. Both grandmothers stay over for weeks to help the new mom with the baby and help the new mom adjust.
My first night on the ward, hearing everyone else's baby while mine was on a different floor, was so so hard. I think the only thing keeping me from crying was the exhaustion! You did an amazing job under incredibly hard circumstances. So happy to hear your voice again!
Oh Becky, I'm so so angry for you that those doctors were so awful during this process and I'm so thankful you and Baby Henny are safe and healthy! I respect you so much for keeping and protecting your peace through this whole process and wish you only the best in your motherhood journey! Congratulations ❤
Becky I just wanna say I’m so happy for you, I’m happy you and little Henry are healthy and that your home now, I hope that even though your start wasn’t the best that every day going forward it amazing, make sure to give him a kiss for every like you get on any post you talk about him or the back of his head is in, because he needs to be compensated for his work lol congratulations!!!
Speaking as a former baby who was born in 12 weeks early and stayed in the NICU for 11 weeks, y’all are rockstars. Watching your newly born child in the NICU is rough for even one day, but weeks is super hard. My parents were visiting my dads family in Seattle, WA (when they’re living in Richmond, VA) when I decided it was time to exit and that’s a super hard journey for parents to deal with. My mom has told me before that she had to leave when she went to visit me one day and I had an IV in my head (because they ran out of other veins). I wish you, Keith, and baby Henry the best of health and everything good for eternity! Y’all are going to love being parents and I wish you all the very best ❤
Congrats Becky and Keith. So becky, I have a "heart" uterus as well, I never found out until after 3 miscarriages and a full term pregnancy and I was 49 years old. It caused me many years of pain but nobody told me until I was getting ready for menopause. So crazy
Hooray for a Habersbaby! Hooray for Rainie! As a fellow unexpected NICU mamma, so so so much love to Becky and Keith. I'm thankful you're already on the therapy train, because it took me 5 years to admit that our son's premature birth was traumatic for me and go get help. Wish I had given myself that love sooner, but SO grateful for it now!
My sister was extremely preemie, my mother just kept bringing the NICU nurses baked goods. Years later they still remembered her as "chocolate pizza lady"
I so so appreciate Becky sharing her story on the podcast. My twins came at 32 weeks and were in the NICU for 6 weeks too. I felt every second of the story and sending tons of love in your healing post partum journey!
Still can’t believe they really just hard launched a baby, but it’s so in character for Becky to just keep it silent and then just casually tell us out of nowhere. I’ve missed Becky on the podcast and so glad she’s back with the new addition to the family! We love you Becky and we love the new baby too!
I was so saddened to hear what Becky had to go through. The way that Becky described all of the things that Keith and her support system would do for her everyday, like friends bringing her clothes and having meals with her, it sounds like Becky and her new baby are so loved by all of the people around her. Congratulations on the new addition to your family!
I immediately started tearing up with Becky when she talked about not getting that bonding moment. I haven’t had a baby yet but I feel like it’s always a subtle fear of people who hope to experience it one day and I felt for her ❤
So sad to hear Becky's story! I empathise so much because I went through something similar. Midwives in Australia promote giving birth without anesthetics (ridiculous!), and they kept ghosting me and my partner when I asked for the epidural. I gave birth to quite a large baby girl without an epidural and felt so distressed afterwards... The relevance of having medical professionals that actually listen to people!! Congrats to both!
Oh Becky I want to hug you so hard rn 😭 13 almost 14 years ago I had my baby at 33 weeks and all this years i thought I had forgotten of all this feelings because my mind got filled with all the beautiful memories we have created since then had taken over all the trauma but I’m here sobbing remembering how awful is all the things you looked up to never happened how everything is so scary and unclear and how your brain doesn’t comprehend at real time the things are happening. I was shocked to find out i was getting discharged and not my daughter. everything now feels like a fever dream that day even though is the most wonderful day of my life because my first child was born it was also the most scary day of my life
Wow. I’m a birth doula and listening to your birth story broke my heart. I can’t believe the nurses and doctors weren’t listening to how much pain you were in. I can’t believe they assumed you weren’t far enough along, dilation-wise, for an epidural. I could tell you were at the very end of your labor just by you describing it. And making you stay in bed during your labor is just inhumane. At the very least, they should have let you change positions in the bed. UGH. I’m so sorry Becky.
i LOOOOOVE that Becky and Maggie mentioned Occupational Therapy! I majored in that field and it is one of the areas in the medical field pepople don't really acknowledge/starting to acknowledge. it's super super important for such a holistic practice to be mentioned and appreciated!
The way I cried when Becky cried, I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I’m incredibly happy and that you are okay, and that your baby is okay! Good job, girl, you are amazing ❤❤❤
I have happy tears over how lucky little Henry is to have Becky and Keith as parents. Kid has won the lottery. I'm so sorry the process to bring him here was not in any of your control. I couldn't imagine.
This was truly the most special, most authentically beautiful and lovely and honest and magical podcast I've listened to all year. Between the specialness of making a baby and their friendship and the general support and love for Becky. It's really so incredible. She's so lucky.
I can't speak enough about how much I appreciate the lengths you guys went to to protect your own private lives from public view, but the lengths others went to to do the same for you. Good for yall. Best of luck and happiness to the newly-minted Habers-trio!
As a nurse, thank you for all your kind words. Brought tears to my eyes. Congratulations, Keith and Becky! So glad everyone is home, happy, and healthy. Welcome to the world, Henry! 🤍
I’m in nursing school currently and It is so fulfilling to hear how even though Becky didn’t get the experience she wanted she had an amazing team of nurses to help her out. Nursing school is stressing me out but the hope to be that comfort for someone has made me motivated again. Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations!
So lovely to hear the happy news and that all is well! Congratulations to you Becky and Keith! Updated to add: I had an extensive NICU experience and was worried this would be super triggering, but after 6 years it was just so nice to hear another mom talk about the trauma and scary stuff that can come with aging a preemie. Thanks so much for sharing your story with the world Becky.
Maggie honestly is such an amazing friend. So happy for a healthy baby and mama. Being in pain and no one believing you is the worst. I'm a chronic pain patient and it's infuriating. I also went thru pregnancy loss and fertility help to get my daughter. Thank you so so much for sharing your story. Congrats!
Congratulations to Becky and Keith on your precious little Henry. Thanks for talking about your experiences Becky. Traumatic births can be hard to wrap your head around but they are a reality for so many of us and being able to discuss it makes others feel less alone ❤ So glad everyone is ok
5:42-7:15 I'm glad you guys called out the discrimination and injustice of states that force people to go through pregnancies, and the manipulative strategy of cut-off weeks. Thanks for standing up for people's rights on your platform.
Photo gifts like photo books are such a great way to share things with family. My brother and sister-in-law ended up getting fridge magnets made for all of the family for Christmas, and it was honestly so sweet. They also don't post pictures of my nephew online, and a lot of our older aunts/uncles/grandparents don't use social media anyway, so they were all so excited to have a photo magnet of him to put on their fridges.
I just had a miscarriage last Monday and had low progesterone as well. but this video makes so happy that you and your baby are so healthy! 💙 makes me happy for yal, because it’s amazing to be able to carry a child! Congrats Keith and Becky 🎉
Honestly, you should report that anesthesiologist to the medical board. What he said is so far from okay and the last thing that should be said to a laboring person. Honestly shouldn't be said to anyone in pain and that's literally the type of people they deal with all day long. I'm so sorry. How traumatic for you and Keith.
That's my thought as well. It might just be a normal day for him but it's so traumatizing to hear. I can't imagine people having to go through that while in the process of giving birth.
I had a very similar pregnancy and birth experience and I cried right along with Becky. Process that pain, girl. It's okay that the birth wasn't the best day of your life.
Listening to everything Becky went through really shined a light and gave me an idea on what my mom went through and where her thoughts were during this time. She doesn't like talking about it in detail with me but I was also in the NICU for 6 weeks and took a while for my body to eat, digest and breathe. My heart goes out for Becky for having her decisions snatched from her but I'm glad she had such a great support team.
Make sure your doctor follows up with kidney function tests! Your uterus and kidneys develop at the same time and there is a strong correlation between heart shaped uterus and kidney issues later in life.
Support is super important for new parents. We had my Mom's funeral 2 days before I went in to have my baby. I pushed everyone away. I'm really grateful for those who were persistent and kept checking in.
This brought back a flood of emotions for me. I had a traumatic birth 23 years ago and while time dulls the pain, it stays with you for as long as you remember. But that baby is now 23 and she graduated college last year. She is healthy happy and incredibly smart. Her and her brother are the lights of my life and I would do it all again in a second for them. Congratulations! ❤❤❤
Me sitting here thinking Becky was genuinely on holiday lol Or just wanted a break, I didn't question anything 😅 congratulations!!! I'm glad the baby was born healthy
The Habersbaby Hard Launch will be spoken about for generations. Congratulations Becky and Keith!!!
Henry habersberger sounds like a character in a wes anderson film, also Should their couple name be Beith or Kecky?
@@EvWuzhere I vote Beith. It's the kind of name Keith would come up with.
Keiky
@@iamalgam9179 keiky, do you love me, are you riding? Say youll never ever leave from beside me
I had My daughter at 30 weeks during Covid 19 and couldn’t hold her for 4 days after I gave birth, after 6 weeks in NICU and The last 3 weeks in Special care- my partner couldn’t see her for those 3 weeks due to restrictions changing
She is now a beautiful bouncing 2yr old who has beat all her milestones by ridiculous amounts
Even after 2 yrs I am still seeing a postpartum therapist for everything I went though but I am so much better than what I was and accepting that everything my partner and I went though was our own journey cause I kept comparing to all my other friends pregnancy’s.
You and Keith are so strong and will get stronger going on this premmies journey
My love to you both and your lil family 🖤
I appreciate that Becky and Keith kept the pregnancy off line. I think there is so much of our lives on the internet. It’s wonderful to see people set healthy boundaries.
I kept my pregnancy offline and people talked shit on me and now its a trend
me too, and it made the surprise theres a baby insta posts more fun imo
I've joked with my husband "Oh if we have babies, lets not tell anyone." Lol
Yes! Plus you get to avoid all of the "advice" from ppl telling you what to do and not do, having to hear everyone's opinions, prying questions, etc. I mean, ik most ppl mean well but ppl also don't know when to keep their opinions to themselves when it comes to something as life changing as this.
Awww…. Congratulations I’m so happy for both of them 🎉🎉❤❤❤
"We're not having 'Eugene babysits Henry for the first time'" THE LAYERS OF SHADE
This is the comment I was looking for bc I said THE SAME THING 😂
Just one more thing _he who should not be named_ took from us
At this point I’m not mad that you know who isn’t there anymore and more sad that he took Ariel and the boys from all their longtime friends and tarnished some sweet memories :(
@@gemstone108THIS. This is what crushed me the most about the incident that shall not be named. I was truly heartbroken for Ariel and those poor little boys losing their closest friend circle all for that assholes actions. Some part of me hopes that they keep in touch with Ariel off camera and just don’t want to admit it because people will always insinuate that you can’t be friends with one without the other, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem like it. It’s such a sad situation for all parties, all except _one._
@@ellespoonies im sure they keep in touch - they are all friends after all, bounded as sisters. I do not think it is about "not wanting to admit it" but more about the privacy aspect so that the past or any negative associations with it are not brought up. I hope and want to be sure that we will see Ariel some time together with the girls :)
Besides crying during the whole episode and being extremely happy for them, Becky described me “I want to be a mom, but don’t want to go through the pregnancy and birthing stage”
I’m honestly super glad she said that bc that’s how i feel
Yes! I think it was so nice to hear someone else express this and it not be met with judgement. I love kids, I think I would make a wonderful mother someday and I can see Becky already is and will continue to be an AMAZING Mama. But pregnancy scares me to death. It looks and sounds so uncomfortable, there are so many risks and complications, labor can be so traumatic and I really wish I could have a child but skip all of that lol. My only options would be adoption or surrogacy though.
same here... terrified of it to be honest...
I have never felt more seen as a mom.
@@lexilion16 What sucks is that it's so much money if you want to go surrogacy. I get it, the person going through the pregnancy should be well taken care of, but it makes it not easy for the people who either had a terrible first pregnancy, so can't really carry another, or the family's that really want a child, but is scared to carry the child.
'Henry Habersberger' as a name has serious main character vibes! Love it! Congrats Becky and Keith!
snd it goes well with Hot Dog Hebersberger 😂
Daddy's got a new favorite 😊
It does! One of my oldest acquaintances used the mother's maiden name as a first name for one of their kids, and when paired with his last name, it sounds very captain of industry like our new Try Baby.
it reminds me of henry hugglemonster 😅😭
I love it
I think we can all agree that Maggie is the MVP of friendships. She is clearly so valued that she is invited to step in as substitute husband, mother and sister during what sounds like a difficult pregnancy
It probably helps that she’s a nurse haha
she's the true wizard of friendship
I can’t explain it but the name Henry makes so much sense for Keith and Becky, like it matches them
Vsauce made a video about that phenomenon. Its called "Did People used to look older?". Its mainly about why we have the feeling that our parents looked older when they were our age but also about how we have a picture in mind when we think about a specific name.
I literally made a list (I LOVE baby names lol)...I thought of Henry! but also Wilder, Oliver, Atticus etc
IT'S SO CUUUTE
They all have 5 letters too 💖
Probably cause they mentioned it last year 😂😂
Rachel crying when Becky cries 🥺 I’m so happy Becky decided to share her birth story, I was really hoping she would ❤️
Man I had to pause and cry before that.
Yep Rachel’s a Cancer, we can be very empathetic! I was bawling and I’ve never met Becky lol
I cried as well. I can't listen to people cry without getting emotional.
Yes I was already getting emotional hearing Becky get emotional about her very valid disappointment towards the experience but then I looked over and realized Rachel was crying for her and it made me even MORE emotional! Lol the love these ladies have for each other is unmatched and them and their children are so lucky to be surrounded by people with so much love and good will for each other
absolutely! Rachel also had such a hard journey with pregnancy, she understands what Becky was talking about
I would hold and hug Becky for a month straight. "All the choices were taken away from me", just really hits.
That stuck out to me the most. 100% sums up my birth and hospital experience a year ago. 😢
I deeply appreciate her sharing her story.
I wanted a c section because I have MS and the hospital refused until one Dr in the whole hospital said she's getting the c section BUT if that Dr was not in the hospital I was told multiple times the on call Dr could override that call and have me do natural birth with no epidural because the pain people said they wouldn't give me one because of my MS. Luckily everything worked out to plan but my anxiety was through the roof over being forced to do natural birth without any drugs and then having an episode post birth.
@@karlimiller3279Damn, that sucks glad it turned out alright ❤. I am 19 and have MS too. I’m not having kids for a WHILE, but I too, am planning to have a c-section since I have a skeletal muscle disorder that would make giving birth more difficult. Knowing you may not have the option would terrify me, you rock!
@@DentInEden when the time comes remember to hold firm in what you want. The way some doctors spoke to me was absurd. I was born a month early and so was my sister so I wanted my birth plan way in advance and a male doctor said it was more reason to do natural because it would be a small baby.
@@karlimiller3279 Haha, don't worry. If there is one good thing about having MS, a congenital muscle disorder, and just being plain stubborn; is that I will stand firm regarding my health.
I once had severe stomach pain and a male doctor thought i was having pre-mentruel cramps and over exaggerating. Turns out my digestive system had stopped contracting and I now need to take medicine for it 😅
I just love Becky's use of language- how she kept correcting herself from saying "Until he gets better at xyz" to "Until his body gets better at xyz". That subtle change makes all the difference and melts my cold heart.
That nurse who said “I’m so sorry your decisions were taken away” was honestly the most touching thing, it seems clear Becky truly appreciated that moment. Coming from someone who’s gone through their own trauma (not labor ofc), the people who acknowledge it and give empathy is the best support from my experience. I’m glad at least one person was able to give that to Becky.
Major congrats to Becky, Keith, and Henry! I’m glad they’re happy now and recovering from that insane labor experience. Not surprising at all that Henry loves being outside with people lol.
This made me cry as someone who’s had two traumatic births I wish someone told me that
I had a traumatic birth with my second and the nurse validating my experience was so appreciated.
@@Emivibes96couldn’t have been that traumatic if you had a second 😂
@@jk7713 that’s extremely rude to say to someone I wouldn’t say that to someone else if I were you
i've noticed how opposite keith and becky's approach to raising a kid as public figures is from what wife-guy's was. I think keith was able to see first hand the negative repercussions of having your kid well-known to millions of people can have and was able to learn from that and handle it so much more responsibly!
I'm very glad they made that decision! I think that the whole situation made them more cautious, but overall Keith and Becky have been more clear about their boundaries with private life and what goes on the internet, and they don't really monetise their relationship in that sense, so I do think that they would have been private nonetheless
As soon as Becky started talking about the nurse saying "I'm sorry your choices were taken away" I started bawling. It's great to have people around who are upbeat and positive, of course. But it's sooo impactful to have someone validate the emotions and grief you feel when you have an experience go so far sideways from what you were hoping for ❤
It sounds like Becky had a great support team throughout her pregnancy 🤍 I cried with her as she shared her experience. I’m not a mom but I empathize.
Same. I had to sit down on my stairs and cry.
We announce the spin-off of "Keith Eats the menu" to "Henry finishes the bottle! " So happy for you both!
underrated comment
Plus “Keith Murders An Anesthesiologist.”
41:25 this part reminds me of the hunger games when cinna meets katniss. he goes "im sorry this happened to you" and she says "most people just congratulate me" and i feel like that shows how much that nurse empathized with becky instead of the others just brushing away all the bad things as if that wasn't an awful experience
Becky; "you don't have to hold the baby"
Rachel: "give me the baby and nobody gets hurt"
Becky posted this on her story this morning
I was like that with my niece. Her mom didn't want to ask anyone if they wanted to hold her in case we'd think it was because she didn't want to hold her own kid. Young, first time mom fears and all that. I was like "give me that baby" and then I didn't want to let her go.
@@imjuliewatersthe only way to be really lol. I respect every parents right to decide who is allowed and when they're allowed to hold their baby and if they say no that's perfectly fine and I'm honored just to see them. But if you're comfortable with letting me hold your baby omg yes please, washing my hands now so I can hold that precious little loaf lol
Please put a time stamp where she said this partttt ❤
The anesthesiologist should thank their lucky stars Keith was out of the room when he said that awful thing to Becky. Also can’t believe that Keith was also rehearsing as Juliet through all of this !
I hope Becky cussed him out. I know she doesn’t remember much but I hope somewhere in all that chaos she got to tell the doctor to piss off
I had a shattered leg and a kneecap dislocated in the wrong direction for 14 hours (and grinding on a nerve) after coming in an ambulance to the ER and waiting to just see a doctor. When I got taken for xrays so they could check if more damage had been caused by the 14 hour wait, the xray tech grabbed and violently twisted my leg under the scanner. And then yelled at me that I needed to relax and stop moving or she couldn't scan me. Turns out in doing that she ADDED fractures to my leg. But my screaming was "dramatic"
Keith wouldn’t have done anything 😂 he’s so submissive
UGH I'm so mad on your behalf that happened to you, that's horrible in so many ways. I am so sorry. @@robynp9872
@@jk7713yo have you not seen Keith in Without a Recipe…? And Becky is his LIFE. He would 💯 percent have told off that doctor.
Sobbing with Becky at 42:00. I'm so sorry that your birth story was completely out of your control, so painful and not at all what you expected, but so happy for you and Keith!! You're going to be the best parents to little Henry💙
You aren’t alone! I started crying at work when I got to that part. Congrats Becky and Keith!!
I did too! I was a bit surprised cause I have no personal experience with birth/pregnancy. But I'm all too familiar with doctors dismissing your pain and being patronising a-holes 😢
same I really cried and had my heart broken
Me too 😢 . I had to stop chopping veggies and just sit for a minute. It’s especially sad knowing what kind people Becky and Keith are.
You held it together two minutes longer than I did.
As an Occupational Therapist, thank you to Maggie and Becky for shouting us out, we rarely get mentioned and most people don't know what we do, so that was awesome ❤
My 9 yr old daughter saw an OT at a center for 3 years and gets in school services as well right now. She has so much more core strength to do so many things now and better fine motor skills as well. Thank you so much for all that you guys do!!
I'm an OT student, and I just came down here to say the same thing!
What kind of schooling is needed for your career?
@@daliacanseco3983 Hello! A bachelor degree and a master/doctorate in OT.
I was just about to comment the same thing! I’m loving the OT shoutout 🥹
Rachel is the most woman championing woman in the world and I love her. Also, made my heart so warm that Maggie stepped in to go to appointments with Becky. Ugh! Love you women! Congrats, Becky & Keith, Henry is SO lucky!
Thanks to Becky for her generosity here - she didn't have to share any of this but she did. I also had a high risk pregnancy and then birth trauma. Hearing other stories is so validating.
the fact that Keith and Becky don't have immediate family here but everyone from the workplace is literally not letting them feel any discomfort is so heartwarming. maggie and zach, nick and rachel, eugene and matt and everyone else in the second try. so beautiful and wholesome
Becky talking about the writhing in pain and no epidural portion of her labour was honestly so nice and validating to hear. That portion parallels what I went through giving birth and the “well you can’t get an epidural if you don’t sit still” why is it always a male anesthesiologist who could never understand the pain saying that? Anyways thank you Becky for being willing to share, and congratulations to you and Keith!
I had a room full of female nurses literally laugh at me and tell me to stop being dramatic when i was crying in pain. One's set of genitalia does not impact their ability to treat and understand pain. Doctors treat pain unfamiliar to them all the time.
@@xelenaxyz Misogyny is still real lmao
@@aff77141 Yeah and so is misandry. How exactly is this relevant to my comment?
@xelena7093 thankyou for saying this!
@@xelenaxyz m!sandry is not real LMAO
I'm a doctor, I know us newer doctors are mindful of having good bedside manners, but some of the older doctors are very rude...But yes we really appreciate the work the nurses do.
as a med student graduating next year some of this was hard to hear, but it's necessary to hear too. the only thing i would offer a different perspective on is the doctors having the "5 minutes of glory" while the nurses do all the work. of COURSE nurses do a lot of work and are wonderful for their patients, but so much of the work doctors do is big picture behind the scenes stuff that isn't necessarily visible to patients and family. it just really sucks when doctors aren't able to communicate and work with their patients well.
@@samwarren2850ah you'll need to quickly change this attitude or you're not going to have a fun time ANYWHERE you work...
@@fineacorn lol what attitude? the one where I defended my profession AND acknowledged the incredible work done by my nurse colleagues?
@@samwarren2850 Your job is to help people. It's not about "Glory".
@@OceanLover1188 you’ve completely misunderstood. They were quoting the video… it was either Becky or Rachel that referenced ‘5 minutes of glory’.
That’s not how the commenter feels and it’s not how most doctors ever perceive it. I get it might seem that way for patients but for the doctor that’s 5 minutes of a day sandwiched in between lots of other pressures and emergencies. That’s what they’re trying to say.
I ended up having an un/under medicated c-section because no one believed my pain and thought I was just feeling normal pressure. It took me years to heal from the trauma of being sliced open and then being told to stop screaming I’m being too loud. Becky, I’m so so sorry you had to endure that. It’s all terrible but Henry is lucky to have you as his mama.
I am so deeply sorry you experienced that....that's horrifying, I am so sorry.
This happened to me too. I kept trying to describe how things were feeling beforehand and the anesthesiologist got tired of it, so they started and I could feel everything. Then he has the nerve to say to me after, "see, I told you it would work out!" Thankfully I at least had great L&D nurses, one of them went out of the recovery room to cuss him out for a good 10 minutes, then came back in and cried with me for at least 20 minutes.
I was having the most insane pain I've ever felt (having already given birth twice) and my nurses were telling me to stop crying and being dramatic... Those ladies were real quiet when they rolled me to surgery when the doctor realised I had been bleeding internally for hours and lost way too much blood.
Good lord, I’m sorry that happened to you!
I’ve had three C-sections so I know what that’s like.
I know I'm a random stranger but that sounds HORRIFYING and I am so sorry you had to experience that
So happy for Becky, Keith, and Henry! I'm so glad fans have been respectful of their privacy and they didn't need to announce before they wanted to.
The most beautiful part of the story (from my perspective) is Keith demonstrating to Becky how to hold her breath. It's the most beautiful thing to find someone who can reach you and communicate when you are in such extremity.
This is the first YCSWU podcast that left me in tears. This episode is a testament as to why pregnancy is such a personal and intimate subject, and people should be respectful of people’s decisions. Such a horrifying birthing story. I’m so glad Becky and baby boy are doing well now, and are happy and healthy. And thankful Keith was such a strong support for Becky and Henry.
This one and the one where Rachel talks about her cancer both had me crying!
I’m so glad to hear fans are being respectful of Becky and Keith during this time :)
I'm so shocked with how they treated Becky's pain in labor. The medical team should be aware that labor is way more intense when the water breaks, but the fact that she was shaking is a sign that she's giving birth. I'm sorry she had to go through that, but I'm glad everyone is happy and healthy now ❤
As soon as she said she was shaking I was like she's in transition and having the baby like now! I understand not wanting to chance infectious but when my water broke without me going into labor they put me on antibiotics almost right away. They should have been checking her more that's insane.
As someone who is very experienced with the medical world that was extremely unsurprising she was treated poorly horrible but unsurprising
It sadly doesn’t surprise me anymore. Healthcare has become an absolute fucking shitshow train wreck in this United States now. The Healthcare system HEAVILY needs to be reformed. Staffing to patient ratios need to be so much more safer, benefits need to be more sufficient for staffing. Healthcare should not be transactional and for profit.
L&D nurse here! Magnesium is given for neuro protection and then betamethasone is given to help the lungs in preterm babies!
Also if they told you an epidural can wear off they’re full of it! Epidurals are a continuous infusion into the epidural space, they don’t wear off. And if you do manage to gain feeling back it’s almost always remedied with a larger dose of meds added.
However, Congrats Becky and Keith!!! So happy for you guys!
The amount of times my jaw dropped at Becky's experience with the doctors in the hospital. I cannot. I hope now post-partum she can make the choices she wants to and gets all the support she needs and wants.
My friend Maggie was my secondary support person when I gave birth. Everyone needs a Maggie.
As a Maggie myself, I appreciate this comment 💗
I just had a traumatic pregnancy and early birth this past May, and I don’t know if Becky is feeling the same way I do, but it’s like you’re grieving for the experience you had but feel like you shouldn’t because your baby is here and you’re both healthy. It is so hard because we don’t often talk about these things. Sending you big hugs, Becky. As my nurse in the hospital said - “just let it out, you don’t have to let it go.”
You can grieve the past experience while also being happy and grateful for the safe and happy present. Pregnancy, child birth, and post partum (particularly NICU) journeys require a lot of courage. Take all the time you need to acknowledge and process your emotions, they are valid ❤❤❤
I also had to grieve the experience I didnt have that I thought I would get. It’s so so many complex emotions
It absolutely is a grieving experience.. it was the scariest and hardest but best day of my life. You grieve, girl. I had my son in march and still grieve. Sending love
It’s totally a grieving experience, you had this idea and it wasn’t that way. I remember hearing other babies in the rooms around me right after I gave birth. There is so much more to that but I definitely understand
My daughter is 6 and I still grieve over elements of her birth experience even though she's happy, healthy and we've had an excellent 6 years. Trauma is rough. ❤
as tough as it was for becky, hearing about her and keith’s support system was so heartwarming. so beautiful. not everyone has that and it brought me to happy tears hearing about that
I think the reason that fans have been so respectful is because that is the kind of environment that y'all cultivate. So kudos to y'all for making your spot on the internet/social media respectful and understanding!
Also, congratulations!
Also new doctor here, this was rough to hear, but unsurprising, unfortunately 😢. I’ve met some truly horrible older doctors that really need to retire and stay retired…! The nurses can also be hit or miss, but they do a huge brunt of the work in most situations and sometimes were the only people that would treat med students as humans. Im so sorry you had a horrific experience with turkey man. So glad that Henry is okay and you’re okay!! 🧡
I think a big part of it is also that our medical system has continuously de-prioritized doctors spending time at the bedside. Doctors are so bogged down with administrative tasks and pressured to shorten visit slots and increase patient load that patient care really suffers. This is definitely also one of the major contributors to physician burnout
The nurses on my ob/gyn rotation were the absolute worst. I genuinely considered dropping out of PA school altogether because of how I was treated on that labor and delivery unit. It makes me dread when I inevitably have to go to one as a patient.
From a L&D nurse magnesium is for Neuro protection for the baby. The steroid is for lung development for premature babies.
thanks. what does neuro protection entail?
@@janetipoo it reduces the risk of the baby having cerebral palsy, other neurologic disorders, and death
It has been shown to protect against or minimise the risk if intracranial bleeding
Rachel crying with Becky is so stinkin precious. Rachel is mother. Also, I literally was cooking dinner yesterday and I thought, “I wonder if Becky and Keith want or plan to have kids. They seem like they would be good parents.” Later, my sister was like, “did you hear about Keith and Becky?!” - like you are our personal friends. I never would comment or dm any questions about having kids because it’s so personal and such a big deal for couples but it was just crazy that I had that little thought and then all the sudden, you had a baby! So happy everyone is okay and sooo sorry you had to go through all of that. Thank you to Maggie, Rachel , Keith and “the village” helping and supporting y’all.
I remember one of them (I think it was Keith) mentioning in a video that they wanted to be married for at least 3 years before having kids
Baby Slider is a legend! Best casual baby drop ever!
Baby slider I cannot 😂😂
Yess, I thought I was the one calling her baby Slider xD
35:54 hearing Keith’s reaction and about him cheering you on saying, “we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna be okay” has got me in TEARS. SUCH an intense experience Becky, so grateful everyone is home safely and happy and healthy! Excited for you both 😁🩵
Congrats Becky, Keith and Habersbaby! ❤
Even if you had just decided to tell us the intro to this episode "everyone is happy and healthy," and left it at that, that is way more than what we the audience are entitled to.
In any case, it is good to have you back because I love your beauty advise and special brand of chaos lol
“This was the start of a really unfun time in my life” …as a long term current NICU mama (we still have at least 2 more months) this hit so hard! Especially talking about losing the golden hour. I wasn’t able to hold her for 5 days because she was on a ventilator and 6 weeks before I could non-nutritive nurse. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s helping to process my own.
HUGS HUGS HUGS❤❤❤❤😢
When Becky was talking about choices being taken away and Rachel started to tear up with her. Remembering my own experience started to tear up. 😢
As a fellow NICU mom, the part about not being able to have all of the post birth experiences really hit home. It’s a loss all on its own, especially when it’s your first born.
36:27 I don’t know why this part made me tear up-like of course it’s funny, but also it’s just so sweet to see a partner be so…dependable I guess? Relied upon? Not totally sure what I mean, it’s just so sweet
Didn’t know I would fully cry just 5 minutes later 😭
Literally tears rolling down my face imagining the reality of what that must have been like.
I immediately started crying right when Becky started crying. You are so strong and so brave. I'm so sorry that your birth experience was far from ideal, but I am so proud of you, Keith, and Henry. So happy that you three are healthy.
Dear Becky, I decided to skip the episode because yes, pregnancy and childbirth stories are triggering to me; so please don't take it personally, because it doesn't lessen my happiness for you. All I needed to know, I found from the comments: it's a boy named Henry (a statesman's name if I ever heard one), he is fine, all-y'all are fine. I am certain that you and Keith will be great parents, that Henry-bean will be raised with the love and the laughter you've enjoyed for your whole marriage. You got this, grrrl. Much goodwill from Tampa, Florida.
This is a very sweet comment to leave. I'm sorry the subject here was sensitive to you- I'm sorry you went/are going through tough times. But your kindness here shows you are a kind of light in this world that should keep on shining bright. You showed up here as best you could to support Becky and the team here. I hope you have just as loving people around you to support you as well. 💞
*consensual warm hug* 🤗
Sending you love.
@@ssuuzziiee Thanks so much, kind ma'am/miss. I'm truly happy for this family!
@@legasalinah9776 Consent all around, and right back atcha!
My son just came home from 60 days in the NICU July 31st ♥️ he was 10 weeks early. Hearing Becky talk about that first 24 hours is so powerful. I remember laying in postpartum at night hearing babies cry in neighboring rooms, knowing their moms were holding and comforting them and just crying all night thinking about my baby in a box alone on the other side of the hospital. Thank you for sharing this ♥️ if you’re a NICU mama too, look up Dear NICU Mama podcast 🥰
I teared up reading this 😢
As someone w birth trauma thank you for the trigger warning Becky!! & congratulations!!
My daughter is 10. I didn’t have any of the bonding things because she needed open heart surgery. And people are amazed at how close we are. Kids don’t remember the very beginning, they know who is with them everyday. I am so happy for you and so sorry you didn’t have a great beginning.
Ugh, don't even get me started on abortion laws and assistance for new mothers here in the U.S. Rachel summed it up perfectly: "You have to have this baby, and good fucking luck." That aside, congrats to Becky and Keith on Baby Habs! You all don't owe us anything when it comes to your personal lives, but Becky, I appreciate you sharing your experiences all the same!
Well, I’m from Poland and here you can’t have abortion AT ALL. It’s completely banned in every single scenario. It’s terrifying living here.
@SilviosLinda it's legal when necessary or caused by a criminal act. That was a simple Google search to locate that info.. & you live there???
@@fineacornin theory.... you have to prove the criminal act. Good luck with that.
@@fineacorndefine necessary. Example: if your fetus has a Down syndrome you cannot abort it. If mother is not in direct danger you cannot make an abortion. Even if the fetus has genetic defects and high probability of “not making it” you’re still forced to give birth just because you’re not in danger as a mother. You’re choice doesn’t matter. What’s even more terrifying is that doctors are refusing procedures even if you ARE in danger because the law is very unspecific about what causes harm for mother and what doesn’t. There were cases of women dying specifically because of this law.
@@fineacornyou’re right in a sense that I shouldn’t have written it’s not possible to have abortion at all, but it’s still really bad in here
Becky is the first person I've heard describing the contraction pain as excruciating as they felt when I gave birth to my second child. Just insane, absolutely want-to-escape-my-body level pain. And I feel better hearing you talk about it too, so thank you for sharing :)
I MISSED BECKY’S VOICE. I am so glad Baby and mum are healthy and thriving now. My heart goes out to you for how much of a whirlwind your birth was. All the love thank you so much for sitting with me ❤
Watching Becky talk about her Doula at home is basically what latin moms do for their grandkids. Both grandmothers stay over for weeks to help the new mom with the baby and help the new mom adjust.
This group of women are so beautiful and supportive. Becky, Rachel, Maggie, and Rainie are all such beautiful souls.
My first night on the ward, hearing everyone else's baby while mine was on a different floor, was so so hard. I think the only thing keeping me from crying was the exhaustion! You did an amazing job under incredibly hard circumstances. So happy to hear your voice again!
Oh Becky, I'm so so angry for you that those doctors were so awful during this process and I'm so thankful you and Baby Henny are safe and healthy! I respect you so much for keeping and protecting your peace through this whole process and wish you only the best in your motherhood journey! Congratulations ❤
Also makes sense now why Bowie was having an issue with babies in the pet psychic episode 😅
Becky I just wanna say I’m so happy for you, I’m happy you and little Henry are healthy and that your home now, I hope that even though your start wasn’t the best that every day going forward it amazing, make sure to give him a kiss for every like you get on any post you talk about him or the back of his head is in, because he needs to be compensated for his work lol congratulations!!!
Speaking as a former baby who was born in 12 weeks early and stayed in the NICU for 11 weeks, y’all are rockstars. Watching your newly born child in the NICU is rough for even one day, but weeks is super hard. My parents were visiting my dads family in Seattle, WA (when they’re living in Richmond, VA) when I decided it was time to exit and that’s a super hard journey for parents to deal with. My mom has told me before that she had to leave when she went to visit me one day and I had an IV in my head (because they ran out of other veins). I wish you, Keith, and baby Henry the best of health and everything good for eternity! Y’all are going to love being parents and I wish you all the very best ❤
Second this! Also anytime I want to introduce myself as a qualified speaker, all I'm gonna say is "as a former baby"
Congrats Becky and Keith. So becky, I have a "heart" uterus as well, I never found out until after 3 miscarriages and a full term pregnancy and I was 49 years old. It caused me many years of pain but nobody told me until I was getting ready for menopause. So crazy
Hooray for a Habersbaby! Hooray for Rainie! As a fellow unexpected NICU mamma, so so so much love to Becky and Keith. I'm thankful you're already on the therapy train, because it took me 5 years to admit that our son's premature birth was traumatic for me and go get help. Wish I had given myself that love sooner, but SO grateful for it now!
My sister was extremely preemie, my mother just kept bringing the NICU nurses baked goods. Years later they still remembered her as "chocolate pizza lady"
I cried tears of rage when hearing about the horrible doctors in the ER. I'm so glad you guys are healthy, becks. Sending you a huge hug❤
Congrats to Becky and Keith! 👶
I so so appreciate Becky sharing her story on the podcast. My twins came at 32 weeks and were in the NICU for 6 weeks too. I felt every second of the story and sending tons of love in your healing post partum journey!
Still can’t believe they really just hard launched a baby, but it’s so in character for Becky to just keep it silent and then just casually tell us out of nowhere. I’ve missed Becky on the podcast and so glad she’s back with the new addition to the family! We love you Becky and we love the new baby too!
I was so saddened to hear what Becky had to go through. The way that Becky described all of the things that Keith and her support system would do for her everyday, like friends bringing her clothes and having meals with her, it sounds like Becky and her new baby are so loved by all of the people around her. Congratulations on the new addition to your family!
I immediately started tearing up with Becky when she talked about not getting that bonding moment. I haven’t had a baby yet but I feel like it’s always a subtle fear of people who hope to experience it one day and I felt for her ❤
So sad to hear Becky's story! I empathise so much because I went through something similar. Midwives in Australia promote giving birth without anesthetics (ridiculous!), and they kept ghosting me and my partner when I asked for the epidural. I gave birth to quite a large baby girl without an epidural and felt so distressed afterwards... The relevance of having medical professionals that actually listen to people!! Congrats to both!
Congrats to Becky and Keith! I had a feeling that could be the reason for her absence , it was purely speculation. So happy for the little family.
I wanted to cry with and hug Becky during this
love hearing becky talk so openly about being on zoloft! i’m on zoloft as well and it saved my life :,)
Oh Becky I want to hug you so hard rn 😭 13 almost 14 years ago I had my baby at 33 weeks and all this years i thought I had forgotten of all this feelings because my mind got filled with all the beautiful memories we have created since then had taken over all the trauma but I’m here sobbing remembering how awful is all the things you looked up to never happened how everything is so scary and unclear and how your brain doesn’t comprehend at real time the things are happening. I was shocked to find out i was getting discharged and not my daughter. everything now feels like a fever dream that day even though is the most wonderful day of my life because my first child was born it was also the most scary day of my life
Wow. I’m a birth doula and listening to your birth story broke my heart. I can’t believe the nurses and doctors weren’t listening to how much pain you were in. I can’t believe they assumed you weren’t far enough along, dilation-wise, for an epidural. I could tell you were at the very end of your labor just by you describing it. And making you stay in bed during your labor is just inhumane. At the very least, they should have let you change positions in the bed. UGH. I’m so sorry Becky.
And to not believe you were feeling pushy. I’m so mad on your behalf.
So grateful for the work you do ❤ but yeah SAME I was MAD
i LOOOOOVE that Becky and Maggie mentioned Occupational Therapy! I majored in that field and it is one of the areas in the medical field pepople don't really acknowledge/starting to acknowledge. it's super super important for such a holistic practice to be mentioned and appreciated!
yes, such interesting work
The way I cried when Becky cried, I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I’m incredibly happy and that you are okay, and that your baby is okay! Good job, girl, you are amazing ❤❤❤
I have happy tears over how lucky little Henry is to have Becky and Keith as parents. Kid has won the lottery. I'm so sorry the process to bring him here was not in any of your control. I couldn't imagine.
This was truly the most special, most authentically beautiful and lovely and honest and magical podcast I've listened to all year. Between the specialness of making a baby and their friendship and the general support and love for Becky. It's really so incredible. She's so lucky.
the real question is, How is Alfred with his new little brother?
Alfred's probably chill. Wondering how Grandpa Barry is doing
They talk about this in the TryPod! It's delightful.
I can't speak enough about how much I appreciate the lengths you guys went to to protect your own private lives from public view, but the lengths others went to to do the same for you. Good for yall. Best of luck and happiness to the newly-minted Habers-trio!
As a nurse, thank you for all your kind words. Brought tears to my eyes. Congratulations, Keith and Becky! So glad everyone is home, happy, and healthy. Welcome to the world, Henry! 🤍
I’m in nursing school currently and It is so fulfilling to hear how even though Becky didn’t get the experience she wanted she had an amazing team of nurses to help her out. Nursing school is stressing me out but the hope to be that comfort for someone has made me motivated again. Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations!
So lovely to hear the happy news and that all is well! Congratulations to you Becky and Keith!
Updated to add: I had an extensive NICU experience and was worried this would be super triggering, but after 6 years it was just so nice to hear another mom talk about the trauma and scary stuff that can come with aging a preemie. Thanks so much for sharing your story with the world Becky.
Maggie honestly is such an amazing friend. So happy for a healthy baby and mama. Being in pain and no one believing you is the worst. I'm a chronic pain patient and it's infuriating. I also went thru pregnancy loss and fertility help to get my daughter. Thank you so so much for sharing your story. Congrats!
Congratulations to Becky and Keith on your precious little Henry. Thanks for talking about your experiences Becky. Traumatic births can be hard to wrap your head around but they are a reality for so many of us and being able to discuss it makes others feel less alone ❤ So glad everyone is ok
5:42-7:15 I'm glad you guys called out the discrimination and injustice of states that force people to go through pregnancies, and the manipulative strategy of cut-off weeks. Thanks for standing up for people's rights on your platform.
Went here after listening the spotify episode. Congratulations, Keith and Becky. Hello Henry! The habersbaby ❤
Photo gifts like photo books are such a great way to share things with family. My brother and sister-in-law ended up getting fridge magnets made for all of the family for Christmas, and it was honestly so sweet. They also don't post pictures of my nephew online, and a lot of our older aunts/uncles/grandparents don't use social media anyway, so they were all so excited to have a photo magnet of him to put on their fridges.
I’m so sorry that your pregnancy was difficult but I’m so glad that your baby is doing well! Congrats Becky and Keith!
I just had a miscarriage last Monday and had low progesterone as well. but this video makes so happy that you and your baby are so healthy! 💙 makes me happy for yal, because it’s amazing to be able to carry a child! Congrats Keith and Becky 🎉
HIYA HUGS HUGS HUGS❤❤❤
I had 3 miscarriages in between my 2 girls so I totally know the pain. Sending you lots of love ❤🙏
Hugs for you 💞💞
so happy for Becky to be back and to be able to hear about her journey!
Honestly, you should report that anesthesiologist to the medical board. What he said is so far from okay and the last thing that should be said to a laboring person. Honestly shouldn't be said to anyone in pain and that's literally the type of people they deal with all day long. I'm so sorry. How traumatic for you and Keith.
That's my thought as well. It might just be a normal day for him but it's so traumatizing to hear. I can't imagine people having to go through that while in the process of giving birth.
I had a very similar pregnancy and birth experience and I cried right along with Becky. Process that pain, girl. It's okay that the birth wasn't the best day of your life.
Listening to everything Becky went through really shined a light and gave me an idea on what my mom went through and where her thoughts were during this time. She doesn't like talking about it in detail with me but I was also in the NICU for 6 weeks and took a while for my body to eat, digest and breathe. My heart goes out for Becky for having her decisions snatched from her but I'm glad she had such a great support team.
Make sure your doctor follows up with kidney function tests! Your uterus and kidneys develop at the same time and there is a strong correlation between heart shaped uterus and kidney issues later in life.
The way I didn’t even know this 🤡 and I’m a nurse! Thankfully my kidneys are good
Seriously this is why I love comment sections 🙌
Support is super important for new parents. We had my Mom's funeral 2 days before I went in to have my baby. I pushed everyone away. I'm really grateful for those who were persistent and kept checking in.
This brought back a flood of emotions for me. I had a traumatic birth 23 years ago and while time dulls the pain, it stays with you for as long as you remember. But that baby is now 23 and she graduated college last year. She is healthy happy and incredibly smart. Her and her brother are the lights of my life and I would do it all again in a second for them. Congratulations! ❤❤❤
Me sitting here thinking Becky was genuinely on holiday lol Or just wanted a break, I didn't question anything 😅 congratulations!!! I'm glad the baby was born healthy