Im going through this exact thing right now 😮💨 My father has 4 kids and has literally been stored in a hospital morgue since August until HIS siblings/ family claim him because we’re not. He’ll be making his debut at a cemetery in NY for unclaimed family members with unmarked graves. We’re not wasting a red cent on cremation and we are NOT that generation.
@@Niklaus870 even worse- my mother, who also passed years before him, accepted this man and only married him when the children that weren’t from him were grown. Sad to say this was the norm for women in that generation to feel like they needed a man- worthless or not. It was a flex to have a man once upon a time and my mother drank that kool aid.
Call it abuse as much as you want, maybe you're right, I have a father like his, and his rough lessons made me the man I am now and helped me surpass a lot of life's difficulties.. After all of that he's still my father and love him and I'll be there whenever he needs me.
It's more common than you think. Your mother was deceived by how good their relationship was at the beginning that she doesn't really see the depths of how crappy your father is and can't understand why you want to cut him off and are very hostile towards him. Meanwhile, you the man has been abusing you your entire life and you can clearly see how terrible of a person they are.
@@amarrevolver4452 My guy, you need therapy. If your father is anything like Troy, go find a good therapist. The amount of suppressed trauma you find from that will surprise you. The reason why people call it abuse is because it is what it is. Abuse.
"He meant to do more good than he meant to do harm" - I absolutely hated and loved this line. I hate how people can justify angry, bitter and abusive people because of intention. Intention to me does not negate the action. The harm he caused to the family will forever be scars on their hearts, regardless of his "intention". Just because you may understand his POV doesn't justify his actions.
Troy was only a man with many faults trying to do what he thought was right while trying to deal with his own childhood trauma and demons ,children tend to raise parents up on a pedestal and expect perfection eventually you gotta grow up and realise they are only human.
@@michaelhorne4742 yes but there's a limit to that understanding. When you cross the line from discipline to abuse it doesn't matter anymore what your intentions were. It doesn't matter what hurt you experienced in your own upbringing. You've already caused more harm than good. Whatever lesson you were attempting to teach has flown out the window, and you have lost any credibility with whoever you were attempting to teach it to.
@@1SeeYouSpaceCowboy1 Think you kinda missed the point of my comment, no ones trying to excuse troy's behaviour but because of his violent and abusive upbringing he didn't think he was doing anything wrong in his own mind he was doing what he thought was right. When you live in violent household and environment alot of things become normalised and you dont understand the negative effects its had on your personality.
@@michaelhorne4742 i don't think i missed the point at all, my guy. you kinda just said the same thing twice. To which I reiterate: it's sad that Troy went through what he did, but the takeaway needs to be that what he went on to do to his son wasn't okay. We don't just stop at "well he had it hard too." we need to go beyond that and say, "okay, well, that was then, and it sucked, but this is now and you aren't justified in recreating the environment for your children that you had as a child." Acknowledging Troy's tragic childhood is valid, but remember, he's creating that same tragedy for his son and he is still accountable for that.
The last time Cory was home, his father beat him up and disowned him. The fact that one of the first things his mother does after seeing him again *is hitting him* really says a lot about her character. Cory always came second.
I agree I haven’t seen my father in 10 years, I know my siblings don’t, and we don’t care. Because he was a piece of shit. And hell if there’s even a funeral I’m not coming. I don’t care
But a man, especially a son, is supposed to be the most upright at their father’s funeral. When the man of the family dies away, the son becomes the man of the family. Everyone will look to him for comfort and peace. Him having a grudge at his father’s funeral shows he’s not a man yet, and that forgiveness coupled with courage and empathy is what will mold him into being a fine man one day. I had a father exactly like the one displayed in the play, jame earl jones. Huge, loud carrying voice, big punishments, and every time he spoke he never let you know if he was angry or was trying to show love. But I will never hold that against him, I can only do better than what he did.
My father was severely abused by his dad. Never held a grudge, treated his dad with respect. Treated us, his children, with love and respect. When speaking about my grandfather, my father said “I’m not going to continue and pass on the cycle. The trauma ended when I became a man”. He always said there was no use in holding a grudge, it’s killing yourself with the poison somebody else fed you. Let it go.
How did he do it? I’m currently in the same position but I just can’t let go of this hate, every time I see my dad I just have the urge to fight or flight
Corey is a character that truly deserved better. Abused by his father and ultimately gaslighted by his mother to go to the funeral of his abuser. Truly a painful cycle he had to endure
His mother realized through her own life that going to his fathers funeral was not for his father but for him to have some type of closure. You can't undue anything you have ever gone through but you don't have to be a prisoner of it either.
You obviously don't understand the complexity of this situation you to be a victim and you play into it. This is about closure sad how that's all you took from this scene.
She’s right tho. No matter the good or bad, a son or daughter has their duty. There’s no way around it. My dad left when I was 13, if he dies and I choose to make my last act towards him to be one of hatred and resentment and abandonment….. I don’t think we will get anywhere better. Troy did better than a lot of dads. That doesn’t excuse his faults. But a person deserves a basic respect.
It’s sad how many comments break down to “my daddy did the same thing, and so will I.” That spells out too many kids with hate-filled fathers who are gonna pour that hate all over them.
There’s a difference between being a hateful asshole and being a tough dad that still loves you. People gotta learn that, fathers have to learn that. Be better, big problem in America today. I do love that scene where he says it’s his “duty” to take care of his son. It is, but you gotta mix that with love
Dom Higinbotham yep let your ego go he was wrong whether it’s his fault or not chocking your son is wrong because he can become stronger than you and kill you one day
Cutting off a toxic relationship is a difficult thing to do with family, it's the furthest thing from weakness I can think of. It took me over a decade to do so myself, and the fact that the dude went to his father's funeral is a sign that he didn't learn, he didn't become better, he's still letting his father control him, even though he's a highly decorated marine. And I say that, but he gave up on his dream to become an athlete too, ultimate failure. That, and the fact nobody acknowledged that Troy was a song of a bitch, leads me to believe that, at the very least, the marine boy is going to fall right in his father's footsteps if he ever builds a family.
What i really love about this scene is how the mother states he is not a man, yet not only did he do a tour in vietnam, he was a good marine and got rewarded for his hardwork (the ribbons on his chest represent this: has vietnam campaign ribbon, good conduct ribbon, and a navy achievement medal.) He was a better person than his father, but the trauma his mother faced tried to guilt trip him to visit his father's funeral, a man that never taught him how to be a man, only exemplify how NOT to be a man. As a fellow Marine, my drill instructors were my father figures, and I can see how he has his mentality has changed to a level that his mother cannot understand. He will be the role model for his future family, unlike his father.
If you think that was a guilt trip. You should go back to barracks room n eat sum Crayola. Troy was a good father, terrible person sure. If your DI was your daddy, u need to go see a shrink boot.
I think by cory condemning his father and giving him zero veneration as a father is good. providing for your kids is the minimum you are supposed to do and troy acted like he deserved a medal for it. he was abusive to his sons and his wife. Cory has every right to say " i dont think you are even worth saying goodbye to, Im twice the man you were and I never hurt half the people you did."
@@stankobanko5103 no because Troy was an asshole but Cory's gonna be the one ending their relationship on bad terms. That's not on him and shouldn't be. A man is dead so swallow your pride cause it's not about you here.
@@samuelhong4272 i dont believe everything has to end on good terms. If a family member is so toxic that cutting them out of your life and never looking back makes you happy then you shouldnt feel bad for not making up with them. everyone has different perspectives but I dont think the norm of 'they are dead they deserve forgiveness and respect" is always valid. cory was tormented by his father and more was genuinely happier when he was gone. his mom shouldnt force him to reopen an old wound
Don't get me wrong, I understand where he's coming from but if he chose to not go then he'd embrace the darkness from Troy instead of the good man Troy could have been. This is where Corey becomes a man, saying no to temptation and going instead forges a path of his own making instead of feeling controlled by an angry and troubled father.
@@jorgegfigueroa9755 Becoming a man means being able to cut off a toxic relationship and not reopen it for nothing. He didn't learn, at the end, his father is in complete control of his life. He didn't become an athlete and he still went to his funeral, taking time off the military for it, time off he could've spent anywhere else.
@@jsmith434w Troy doesn't control anything anymore. He's dead. Now Cory has to decide if he's better and face his father one last time or will turn around.
I think you misunderstood the philology of troys embrace on his son it wasn’t about liking him he did what every morsel father couldn’t embrace the so called darkness while teaching effective lessons and life ones to his son he son dosent have to like him nor does he have to it’s a position in which it’s his responsibility
All the father said was facts and real life lessons but people like you won't understand that . Because he was right , in life you don't have to worry about if someone got to like you , just make sure they do right by you
@@rdbepa7656 you see that, I see a father rejecting a son. saying good things to your son and teaching him a life lesson are not mutually exclusive. If a man can't then he has failed as a father. Troy couldn't because he was always confrontational, he later failed as a husband with his infidelity. Troy is nobody you should be taking life lessons from.
@@Emperor.Penguin. well let me tell you life isnt always kind nor fair but he did took care of him and the basic need. Diamond are made under pressure but glass will break.
@@rdbepa7656 you can't be a father just with that, that's the tragedy of this story. It's not the father was wrong, as much as he was lacking some positive incentive, i know since my father is almost exactly the same as this Troy, he is all about the hardships of life, this and that, one day after i grew up i replied "what's the point of it all?" he looked baffled and asked "what?" i simply said "if life is a struggle, what is the point of keep on living just for the struggle?" i guess i like to believe that he realized all that talk about life being hard, was all he ever gave to me, he fed me, clothed me, made sure i knew it was him who made it possible, but i don't really feel there is a point to it all, i got no purpose, and i definitely feel empty, disconected and not really caring about anything at all. I never been in a fight with my father like this character, but my father did tried to test me once, breaking stuff at the ground when we were arguing, trying to see if i would escalate. I didn't. I understand most young men lack more discipline these days, but this story in particular goes to the other extreme.
Honestly, i was brought up in a similar way, and i still resent my mother even more than my father, because she alowed the abuse and his feat tatics to make me "a strong man". Its been 15 years since i've talked to them, and i swear on my daughter, i won"t be on their funerals.
I’m the same way. Although I have limited contact with my mother and no contact with my father, I a not taking care of either of them when they get too old.
I don't blame Cory. Troy fed him, clothed him and put a roof over his head, but that was Troy's job as his dad, period, did he want Cory to bow down and kiss his feet?!, come on. Troy was a bully and a tyrant. Troy was a failure as a husband, dad and person.
That ain’t troys fault tho. That’s societies fault. The world showed Troy a harshnessfor the color of his skin, family, many things . As things progressed in life, Troy didn’t see it through the new lens as he was tormented through his upbringing. That’s why he was hard on his family, because you have to have a strong mind to survive that. His son didn’t understand because times were changing. That’s why he was mad about sports while his dad wanted him to keep a job.
This is one of the most depressing movies I've ever seen because it's scary how realistic it is. The abuse that Cory went through and the horrors he faced growing up, that boy deserved so much more than what he got. The belittling that he was experiencing, the intellectual abuse from his father, and being held back at at time when he needed help to go forward, Cory deserved better than what he got. Agree or disagree?
If it wasn't for that clause in Denzel Washington's contract to never lose a fight, Cory deserved to kick Troy's butt. However, on a serious note, yes Cory deserved so much more.
They both failed him. She’s talking bout disrespecting his daddy when all his daddy did was disrespect him his entire life. A child is not beneath a parent. A child deserves respect too. His father never gave him any so why should he?
Cory should have just left after Rose slapped him. He did the right thing by leaving years before. Troy wasn't much as a father or husband. And if Rose didn't realize that she deserved no sympathy from Cory.
That's her husband. Good and bad, that's been her life and raising Cory for 17 years. You don't show up ON THE DAY that she has to bury him to stand on a high horse.
Nate River Not saying she deserves it, but she did nothing to fix the dysfunctional relationship during the marriage. She kept her mouth shut as she watched the mental/physical abuse happen all those 17 years with Troy. She should’ve left but she didn’t, so as a result is this scene right her.
What I got from this is the power of Choice and even if you have a parent like troy going to the funeral or not you need to find peace and move on if not it will always be there like a shadow in your mind that won't go away you need to heal or deal with it like everything else in life
Correct, this is the argument Rose should've made. Cory should attend so that he can have closure seeing Troy laid to rest, knowing Troy can't ever hurt him again. Then Cory can move on with his life in peace.
My step dad lost his family but my mother lost hers way before…she thought having a men will makes us grow up to be successful, we are now grown and angry. Step dad got killed by my older brother by defending his sister, my mom called the cops and said they killed the love of her life, the one who was cheating, stealing and abusing her kids. My older brother free and his words he said he’s gonna go finish what he started and Visit my mother….. haven’t heard from him and I know I’ll never see my mother…I know is that my feelings stop hurting once I knew something changed in the air knowing someone who didn’t deserve to live is gone. I love you bro.
Cory had every reason not to go to his funeral, Troy was a cruel, bitter, abusive drunk and his Mother seems like she cared more about him than she did her own Son. Cory deserved better Parents
Maybe Corey would of went to the funeral if his dad was a better person his son didn't want to go the funeral the son could of felt his dad was no good tbh
Troy was just like my mother. Tough love, as they would say. She passed on July 4th, 2014. No matter what she put us through, I still arranged a beautiful funeral for her. I love her and miss her dearly. But she chose to leave this world.
Cory still hasn’t healed. I don’t feel his mother should have made him feel bad for not going to the funeral. She’s guilting him just like Troy guilted him for existing. The mother is just as toxic...she stayed in that toxic marriage and forced her child to be subjected to that. Now she is still forcing him to be subjected to it. Slap him? Why? Because, he is finally able to protect his own peace from that mess? At the end of the day, it’s his choice...maybe he would have regretted it and maybe not. Troy’s life was hard, but he could have tried harder to be better than what was given to him. I know, that’s what I plan to do if I ever have children. My mom was toxic as well...so similar to Troy, but I will have to try harder to not keep passing that trauma on. It has to stop somewhere.
@@zealousforthemosthigh2811 I think you’re in the wrong conversation. The conversation on slavery is in the history channel posts, not about a movie on hardships and the trauma that comes with abuse in the guise of trauma.
How was the marriage toxic? Troy was faithful to Rose for eighteen years, held down a full-time job that entire time, provided his wife and a son with food and shelter. He made a mistake with Alberta, yes. But that does not mean the marriage was toxic. It is easy to judge other people and their life choices when you have the good fortune not to have lived in their shoes. Troy never set out to intentionally harm his son. All he tried to do was instill in Cory (and Lyons) the value of hard work. And all he had to work with as a father was his own father's example.
I'm sorry but I would've walked away from my mother after that confrontation. For her to even condone Troy's bullshit just shows how weak his momma really was. Then have the audacity to tell her son how he should feel. No wonder our communities is so fucked up. Folks praising dudes like Troy. That man didn't raise his first child, he treated the second child like shit & had a bastard child on his wife. He lied & cheated to get ahead & cost his son a college education. He was stubborn & stuck in his ways. Yet you all wanna make excuses for this man. The dude was trash & a cancer to his bloodline. If I was his son I wouldn't have even bothered to come home.
I think it's what you see through it all. A lot of people grow older and start to understand it. Understanding it doesn't mean to always accept it. For some it does, for others it simply means to understand. The mother lived a life her son didn't. She loved a life BEFORE her son..when the man provided for her. Hell for all the kids knew things didn't start to turn bad until the man HAD to be there to provide for the child. In the world black men lived there was already lack of opportunities. Then a child comes along and it probably would've been easier to just leave .for the man. That's how this nation made it for the black man. But he stayed. But the child was an extra mouth to feed. Every extra thing that man wanted to do, he decided not to. Instead staying in that one spot. Those shit jobs. With those shit bosses HOPING for better in a world that wasn't built for him, that constantly took with no escape. SHE saw all of that change him. The son didn't see all that. So she understood it and accepted it. She didn't leave him alone in a world that was trying to break him at every turn. Especially when all he did was choose to do the thing that he knew was right. He made that sacrifice and therefore she made hers. He is still human. At some point a person breaks. No one said that breaking point won't hurt anyone. But a human is just a human. That's not making excuses that's understanding. A human is JUST a damn human. Look how many years has passed before he even did something as such. He broke. Living the same life int he same spot doing all he thought was right in a world that was constantly besting him down...and the thing he stayed for, his son, doesn't appreciate all that he felt he sacrificed. All those things he went through. And his wife tells him he's wrong for expecting that appreciation. And along comes someone who basically gives him the same look and less pressure as his wife did back when. That's just reality. He didn't feel like sacrificing anymore. He spent his whole life doing just that. Passing things by or watching them pass by him. The mother is simply asking her NOW grown ass man of a son to UNDERSTAND. Not accept. He sent that boy to the military cause as far as that man understood military is a GUARANTEED career. College....for a black man...COULD work out ok. COULD. But then again this movie takes place in a time where honestly what has changed much about how this nation treated black people? The man wanted his boy to be SET. Guaranteed checks. GUARANTEED places to be. Guaranteed exleriences. And after that even during that, able to study whatever he wanted. You don't have to accept how it came off but to not understand, you're showing a level of immaturity. Lack of understanding anything that doesn't DIRECTLY deal with your perspective. There are other perspectives on the world that are affected by the things they experience. She's not asking her son to be like his father. Which is what your comment sounds like she's doing. Asking him to be there because he should look up to him and be like him. No She's simply saying that he should UNDERSTAND, by now, with his more mature mind, all that his father was TRYING to do. And for THAT attempt, of trying to make his son prepared for this world that doesn't give a shit about him, he needs to respect that.
She tells Cory that not attending the funeral won't make him a man, then suddenly reminisce on how much of family tyrant Troy has been to them. She is still afraid of Troy and it's showing. It should be Cory's decision to attend or not.
David: Tgose things you noted are rooted in fear still. She was a codependent and was willing to manipulate and deceive in order to maintain her ideal reality as she was the one benefiting. She, like Troy, was selfish and looking out for her own interest. The kids are the real victims in this. Troy and the mama made their life choices.
@David Edosomwan Ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? It's when you start to develop feelings and dependence for your captor, all being based out of fear. You said it yourself, right? Even after all the things that Troy gave to them, all the abuse and cheating, she still didn't want to lose him. She chose to endure all the abuse instead of letting go. Why? Because she wasn't strong enough to stand up to him. She was dependent on him. She had NO CHOICE but to love him, because she was AFRAID of him.
The small videos of this movie made me realise I am blessed to have my parents who are still together and now I support my mom more to get her things which she didn't get while struggling all her life. This is a damm good movie
I'm 41. After the age of 4, I probably saw my father a total of 4 times. He died last December and was cremated. I knew nothing about him and at this late in life I really didn't give AF. Was no point in going for a service and being told by complete strangers from his side the family how much I looked like him.
Can’t honor your mother and father if they don’t have any honorable qualities to mention. As a parent you gotta remember to be someone that makes their children proud and admire If you’re adult children don’t admire and they spent the majority of their lives with you Honestly that should tell you a lot about the influence you carry as person
No disrespect to God but idk why bible is portraying parents like they’re automatically innocent. There are some parents that don’t deserve to be honored
@FireArtVids21 because normally parents bring you life and nurture you and tbh it's just to keep families together honestly when my dad dies I believe im not going to his funreal well see though if I can forgive him
@@FireArtVids21 You misunderstand the bible then. That was never the assumption. There are some horrible parents depicted in the Bible. The reason it says honor your mother and father is it understand that holding onto resentment of your parents is detrimental not only to you but your future children as well. I've seen so many men and women who didn't properly heal and forgive their parents and ended up becoming exactly what they hated to their kids.
I,m glad I went to visit my father,s grave in Commins Mi.(3 hours from Holt in Lansing) At LORD TOWNSHIP CEMETERY IN MONTMORENCY because I was holding back 35 to 40 plus years of anger hate bitterness disgust annemostity & depression as well as UNFINISHED BUSINESS that I needed to close with my father & I,m glad I did😊!! I,m not perfect but I,m much more somewhat mello then I was all those years ago!!
My dad just passed away last weekend. His whole life he struggled with alcohol abuse. Him and my mom divorced when I was 3 and he never came around but a handful of times growing up. The bottle always won in the end. I am now 35 years old and planning my absent father's burial. The thing I had to realise is we are all the product of trauma that passes down from our parents. My dad most likely had trauma that he couldn't handle. The only way to get passed it is with forgiveness. Doesn't mean you have to forget what they have done to you or that you even have to love them. But by saying "I forgive you" is truly the only way to not let the anger or hate eat at you and have true peace. And honestly what I went through with him has made me into the proud father I am today. I have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old daughter with a 2nd baby girl on the way.
My father was almost exactly like this, difference is as he retired and got older, he had nothing but time to think about his mistakes and has spent the past few years mending our relationship and trying to be as supportive as possible. The amger in me wanted to ignore him and never give him the satisfaction. But the little boy who needed his dad still won over and i learned to leave the past in the past and now as a father myself try to understand him better.
I did a paper on this in college and got an A but I never really got to express how I actually felt about the movie in a whole. the paper wanted me to express what the title meant in comparison to the movie and each individual main character. I personally didn’t like the character Troy, but because it is apparent that he has loyalty somewhat to his wife and son but the love he gave to a damn barfly and then have the nerve to come home and expected Rose to except his explanation of infidelity. My husband even said that the character Troy was bold and had a lot of balls not to grovel and ask his wife for forgiveness and even more he was bold to lay down beside her without any fear and go to sleep. Me and my husband laughed and said if that was him he would’ve been scared to close his eyes next to me the way that Troy gave the information of his infidelity to his wife and then almost had a little nervous breakdown over his girlfriends death when she had their baby. I actually have to say that for black families back then a wife might have put up with that type of behavior but moving forward to this day and age there are a few to none that would ever tolerate Troy‘s behavior toward their son and themselves in their marriage.
I wonder if she even cared about her son...a lot of women even back then would have divorced or even killed a man that threatened their children even if they didn't care about themselves.
In Theater Appreciation, I had to write a critique on this play and I had to act out the “Why you don’t like me” scene. I got an A on both but I told my teacher I actually hate this play for the same reasons you gave and cause my dad abused me as a kid.
My father is like Troy. He is very cold person to me. He was beaten by his father many times. And one day he told to my mather that he wouldn’t beat his children like his father did. And he haven’t beaten me ones in my life but he was very cold and angry and aggressive to me. I was felt that he didn’t loved me because I was bad child or something wrong with me ( I didn’t know why it was happaning.. now he has a daughter with other woman just like Troy. He left my mother and they separated each other. (Thanks god) I’m now telling myself that I won’t be like my father. I will give my son or daughter that what my father didn’t give to me.
That was a woman’s job in that era (not saying its right just saying thats how it was) vows used to force a woman to say that she would “honor and obey” their husbands until their death. it was a spouses job to put up blinders to their husbands shortcomings and indescretions and be the woman that would lead that man to success or at least happiness. Thank fuck things arent like that anymore.
I think Rose knew that Troy was a less than perfect man. But she chose to live a life sacrificing for and loving him. She had doubts but she was invested. It’s heartbreaking.
I hated the way this movie ended. If your dad or mom don’t respect you, you don’t have to respect them. You don’t fucking owe them anything… You don’t have to forgive them for the pain they’ve inflicted on you. Neither did Corey but his mom guilt tripped him n shit. It’s annoying
I watched this before I became a father and then after I became one, and there was a huge difference for me between the two experiences. Before, I couldn't understand the mistakes and faults of my own father. I still had a chip on my shoulder for all the things I thought was unfair for me. Granted, my father wasn't abusive (far from it). He was kind, loving, and gentle. I looked up to him as a man, but there were more than a few occasions where I thought he was overbearing and bullying. He did seem like a big shadow to me, his voice nagging me wherever I walked. And his expectations seemed like a permanent burden on my shoulders. And I kept telling myself that I would not be like how he was and that I would never make the same mistakes as he would. But now, with a new son of my own, I can't help but empathize with my dad and his imperfections. First, he was human, and second I was his first and only child. He didn't come from a place of experience or knowledge. He was literally driving the car while building it at the same time, just like how I am doing right now. My father did mean to do more good than harm, just like how I am with my son. And I can only do what my father did; do the very best to my son as my father had for me, and never give up showing my love for him. I guess it is easier for me to say this little anecdote as my position is far away from Cory's experience in the movie. But it took something as big as Fatherhood for me to understand my own father's fatherhood. If this story has a sequel where Troy becomes a father, maybe Cory would get a better understanding. And from there, he can REALLY start becoming a better man and father than his own father.
"Son I don't have to like you. I'll tell you what's more important though. I love ya, more than anything in this world. That's why you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food in your belly. If I had the money, I'd buy us a T.V, but I can't right now. That doesn't mean I don't like you. Now come over here and help me build this fence." That's all it would have took...
That's kinda contradictory though. 'Love' is a much greater form of 'Like'. As a parent, you should love your children. If you don't like your children, how do you love them. Troy put food in his belly and such because he felt he had to as a father, not because he loved him. He dislikes him and see him as a symbolic of the working class family life he never wanted. He wanted to be an athlete, but was never able to so he projects it out on his family.
I know his pain, my dad is a football coach I never had any summers to relax or anything, he always said when I accomplish something that’s to be expected, I was always afraid of him and I was afraid to fight back against him and the bullies because everyone knew him. And I recently joined the marines to get away from my family and I ain’t ever coming back
I've almost missed 2 funerals. I was forced to go to my grandmother funeral. I didn't want to go. I was forced to go. I missed my cousin anas funeral. Didn't see a point of going. I was nice to her when she was alive.
Yeah and hopefully your petty lives will lead others to not show up to your funerals, it's about closure, closure for all. You cry babies are still upset your parents forced yall to church.
Rose shouldn't have guilt tripped Cory into going to the funeral it should be his decision wether to go or not. If she was really insistent on having him go she shouldn't have guilt tripped him but asked him to go *for her* instead, despite what Troy did to them, she still spent 18 years trying to be the best wife she could be for him which no matter what happens doesn't just go away overnight so I can understand why she would be grieving for that sorry excuse for a human being after everything that happened, I think it would have been better if she asked Cory to go for her, to at least support her, if not to pay any respect for his (pathetic) father.
Exactly. All this scene showed was that Rose is little to no better than Troy. She didn’t even offer him the chance to make his own decision, like a man, but instead pretty much forced him to go. He should have left the second after she slapped him.
I think this movie is to show the dysfunction in American households many of us grew up similar to this espically with black fathers who work and rarely sit down and talk to their kids about things. It was to show what not to be and to replicate what Cory did which was forgive and try to do better
"Intent Does not matter, only consequence. " - Kratos What happened to troy when he was growing was harsh and terrible. But how he acted and what he's done since isn't anyone's fault but his own. A Father's/Husband's duty is to not only provide but also set an example for your family and the generations to come. (Sometimes an example of what not to be is also needed.)
This scene made me tear up when I first saw it. Growing up my dad was in the military and was really strict. Id be scared to get in trouble for fear of when he came home and yelled at me and my brother. But after becoming an adult I realized that even at his worst my dad was nowhere close to Denzel's character here. He never put us down emotionally or hit us and this scene helped me realize that. My dad mellowed out as he got older and I also realized that many other people had it worse growing up
Reading all these comments about how both Rose and Troy were bad parents, and how Troy doesn't deserve any kind of respect made me realize that the world has forgotten a core step in this journey we call life. Mercy and forgiveness. It's with the foundation of love that this can be achieved. It's so sad to see people blinded from this. A wise man once said; "there will come a time where people will see lies and indecency as the truth, and the truth as lies and indecency".
Arnold schwarzenegger didn't go to his father funeral.... In my opinion Troy wasn't that bad compared to the father's I seen over the years who abused their own sons for sport.
People don’t seem o understand that you don’t have to explain yourself, you don’t have to stand there and justify anything. “Momma, I’m not going” Walks away while she cries about it. You say your peace and leave. There’s not a single reason he should’ve stood there and listened to her make excuses for him let alone stand there to let her put her hands on him.
Can we finally break generational trauma and stop living on the antiquated sorrows of our ancestors? The time for anger came and went, but it's time for healing now. It's time for growth now. It's time to let go of anger now.
I am 26 years old and I've seen this before in my life. I was Cory and I can relate to his feelings. I used to be scared of my dad, used to be defiant towards him when I grew up and even hated him for raising me as he did. But one you get the whole picture, you understand why. Troy didn't know any better, he left his house at the age of 14, his dad abuse him, never gave him love and he was a black man. How do you manage to give love back or to other people if you never received it. Sure he wasn't the best dad, but he tried to do everything with what he got (what he received), he was a better dad that his own dad. Cory can't see this because he didn't know his dad's past and did live in a different world. He got an education. He knew better. And somehow his dad and mom did that for him. They put him on their shoulders and that's why he sees a different world. We are humans, imperfect and filled with emotions. That's us. We need to understand us a bit more.
Good to know there's someone with some sense out there. All I see are cry baby comments about how evil Troy was. He did his best with what life gave him. Of course he wasn't perfect no one is. Rose put it all perfectly because she knew him like no one else did.
@@biggchris7434 "He did his best with what life gave him." Love is free dude. If I never heard an "I love you" from my dad I wouldn't go to his funeral either. Troy was abusive and that is simply not okay and not just "not perfect".
@@Blubableful some of our black grandparents didn't do a good job teaching our fathers on love or respect because they never received it themselves as kids. don't underestimate the psychological effects from racism in the south. they're only concern was to make sure their son was living and doing good in school. my dad never said "i love you" and did very similar things troy did, but the more you grow older, the more you look at the bigger picture of why they acted like this. you don't have to forgive them because everyone has a choice. but i hope the ones that did go through this grew to understand their fathers were just damaged kids themselves
@@Blubableful I never heard "I love you" from my dad either. He was not raised in a family that had love and he had never heard it from his father OR mother. After I moved out and graduated from college and saw the world I came back to visit. My dad had changed and he said the words. We have a very good and loving relationship now. You learn from what you see and multigenerational trauma is a thing. Cut the man some slack for when you're visiting Rome, you do as the Romans do.
I believe that its hard to come back to a place where you been treated and dealt a wrong hand. And i feel that Cory “first” make peace within himself for all the pain and then confront his father’s death with new lens. But in my pov, i guess in troy’s eyes. What makes you a man is able to pull yourself out of the mud, especially when you keep getting kicked down. But it doesn’t. He may have been there physically for his son but not mentally and THAT is unforgivable. And cory deserves to first come to terms with it and then confront losing his dad
It’s important to understand conditions, under which your parents were formed, what made them so bad. You have to be honest and don’t turn around from truth. But what other people forget, is that they WERE bad. You can show empathy to your parents and still recognise their mistakes. Any other way is a weakness. Too many people don’t get second part. You can have a kid and make mistake. You can understand that parenting was harder than you think, but mistake is a mistake. It’s hard to remember, it’s much easier to push responsibility from yourself and your parents, and sometimes it’s justified. We all are people, we aren’t all-powerful, but our mistakes aren’t always made because of this. You mustn’t justified all your fuck ups by this. If you won’t hold yourself in check, you will become much more awful than you ever wanted to be. And Troy did this, and more often than some people would like to abmit.
My father and I didn't always see eye to eye, but I did attend his funeral. My father's "widow" said that she only tolerated me because of my father over the phone, but it was a different story in front of her audience. My older brother stays at her house and has not contacted me since we buried my father. Am I sad? Absolutely not. I'm at peace without having anything to do with my father's extended family. As far as I am concerned, they can stay where they are.
I am sick and tired of toxic women thinking they have any kind of right at all to tell a man what does and doesn’t make him a man. What the hell do they know about manhood?
So Troy ruined that boy's future, beat him, cheat on his mom, and hurt her physically, but she still wants her son to go to his funeral? Nah, i would of walked.
I don’t know who wrote the script for this play/ movie, but I don’t think I’ve EVER seen better and when they chose the actors/ actress for this, they hit the Mother Load. You can SEE it in their eyes and on their faces, without even a word being said. Just pure Magic. I can watch this movie over and over and it touches me every time!!
Its sad to see how many broken and unhealed people are in these comments. All I have to say is forgive your parents. Holding onto hate and resentment will do you no good. And you will likely became exactly what you hated when it comes to your own kids. You think parents become this way because they took the time to heal and end the cycle of what their parents did to them?
My mom actually used the part where ,Troy tells his son how he doesn’t have to show love to him because he takes care of him, as why she was so cool to us as kids I laughed and showed her this clip I asked if she had even watched the movie or just that clip on TH-cam she didn’t say anything after
Probably did. But I didn't watch this movie until a few years ago. Before that, ice said it a few times. It's one of those "man things" to say. It has a meaning behind it.
@@Palpad100 It's not a "man thing". Most fathers love their kids, he's just toxic. Like mothers who use use their motherhood and accuse their adult children of being ungrateful to guilttrip their children into doing something their children know is wrong.
My father was like this to me, his father was like this to him and so on. Now I'm f**ked up, and I know I would be a horrible father, which is why I'm not having kids. Don't want to make a child suffer.
It’s crazy how people can relate to both Corey and Troy. Some dads do the best they can for their families and don’t even get a thank you by the end of day from their wife or children. Some children grow up being emotionally neglected by their children and as they get older and try talk about this with their parent/parents the parents justify it by saying they work so hard to keep a roof and clothes over their children. Parents start building emotional connections when they’re young. Yes, work and provide but at the same be there emotionally for your children. Children understand that your parents do a lot for you so sometimes understand that they’re trying do their best for you.
Letting Troy get to him and bring him down is gonna turn into Troy. Going to a funeral and showing love is the best way to rebel against him and show that you were a better man”
Not really. You dont realize that he doesn't want anything to do with his memories at all. He was no good to him. I can relate. I have nothing to do with my stepfather or father.
How the fuck are you supposed to give something that you ain't never had? When the fuck did Troy ever give Cory a hug or show him father son soft affection? Never. Yet you want Cory to turn the other cheek and do that. Get the fuck out of here. Thats a good way to be a fuckin door step for everyone to step on.
Exactly. Troy is, after all, Cory's father. I don't think simply attending the funeral would mean that Cory loved Troy, it would just show that Cory forgave and forgot. That's the best way to move on from someone, I'd say.
She has what's called blind loyalty. She overlooked how Tony treated him. Despite the fact he was an awful father and he cheated on her, she stayed loyal to him because that's what a spouse does. However, man or woman, if your spouse is in the wrong, you need to call them out on it.
In my opinion, there were different types of men back in the 1950s and earlier they were hard they stuck around they didn’t divorce their wives like everyone gives up now they provided for their families they broke their backs for their families it was a different type of fathers than now it was different types of husbands than now. life in a poor lower middle class family was different yes Troy wasn’t the most loving best hugs and kisses soft daddy but did his sons turn out good did they do better than him isn’t that the goal of every parent and parents are human too. Being a black man today is hard forget 1950 it was a different type of responsibility for your kid and as person who had a tough father I thought like Cory growing up but until I became a man I didn’t respect how hard my dad had to be and that he was a human being with flaws but he did me right and I thank my dad everyday for the toughness he gave me
Don't worry I mean only a man who never had an abusive father rather physical or psychologically would say that the little mr perfect who wrote this thing is braging he had a good life
What a load of nonsense. Better to divorce your wife and live apart than cheat on her and get another woman pregnant, which brings even more disgrace and shame to the family than a divorce would. You’re saying this as if Troy was the exemplar of fatherhood. Hint hint: he wasn’t. He was a POS who ruined his relationship with his son. Have you ever wondered why so many children who raised like that back in the 50s became depressed, suicidal or drug addicts? It’s because they had toxic upbringings. Stop justifying dysfunction just because it happened in the past.
Can we talk about how the mom slapping Cory was wrong on so many levels? 1) He's an adult and has the right to decide what he's going to do and what he's not going to do 2). He's in military uniform - have some respect for the uniform if nothing else.
Cory was in the right here, after what Troy did. Death does not absolve a person of the wrongs they may have committed in life, 'cause people still remember them.
Don't let your resentment turn into regret. My dad was a real mean asshole too but now im a dad. I understand now that my dad was just another human being growing up and learning like i was. I dont hold anything over my dad anymore . I dont talk to the guy but once or twice a year, but the pain and hatred is gone. I'm thankful that i grew up healthy and for the most part had good food and clothes and was never homeless.Parents aren't super heroes.theyre humans too
Troy was a hypocritical, self-absorbed narcissist with a victim mentality. That sabotaged his son's future because he was incapable of seeing him succession where he wasn't "allowed" to succeed. Acted like he deserved a medal for doing the literal bare-minimum of his duty as a father and ultimately kicked him out of his home over finally standing up to him because he had enough of his father's shit. Cory came out of it with loads of resentment, lost opportunities for the future and trauma because of a good for nothing piece of shit that was incapable of seeing anyone but himself happy. (Parents are flawed, but being a flawed parent and a abusive piece of shit are two very different things. Troy was a shitty father, husband and overall person and he's lucky to have gotten a funeral in the first place.)
I hated and loved this scene. Loved the power of the acting. Hated the whole setup of it. Because Cory wasn't Troy. He already fucking proved that. His mom trying to gaslight him to see him as a human being with flaws doesn't change any of the hurt he caused. I don't fucking care what he meant to do; it's what he did that matters in the end. Amazing movie. 10/10
Considering the time this story was based in, the dad was clearly trying to protect his son the best way he knew how. Hate him or not, he became a decorated soldier, and independent from his parents, unlike the other son who leached off them. I’m sure the dad wouldn’t care about him coming to his funeral, him not being a bum, criminal, etc was probably more important 🤷🏾♂️
Troy should be thankful to even have a funeral. He deserves to be forgotten and lay somewhere were he could not be remembered
Im going through this exact thing right now 😮💨 My father has 4 kids and has literally been stored in a hospital morgue since August until HIS siblings/ family claim him because we’re not. He’ll be making his debut at a cemetery in NY for unclaimed family members with unmarked graves. We’re not wasting a red cent on cremation and we are NOT that generation.
@@luvmelonqtym its sad you had to deal with someone like that
@@Niklaus870 even worse- my mother, who also passed years before him, accepted this man and only married him when the children that weren’t from him were grown. Sad to say this was the norm for women in that generation to feel like they needed a man- worthless or not. It was a flex to have a man once upon a time and my mother drank that kool aid.
@@luvmelonqtym sorry to hear that
@@luvmelonqtymDamn, I'm sorry you went through that but I'm glad y'all broke the cycle.
Cory was abused by both sides. For his mother’s denial and distance, to his father’s abuse and diminishing. He deserved better.
You'll never understand cause your not a man
Call it abuse as much as you want, maybe you're right, I have a father like his, and his rough lessons made me the man I am now and helped me surpass a lot of life's difficulties.. After all of that he's still my father and love him and I'll be there whenever he needs me.
It's more common than you think. Your mother was deceived by how good their relationship was at the beginning that she doesn't really see the depths of how crappy your father is and can't understand why you want to cut him off and are very hostile towards him. Meanwhile, you the man has been abusing you your entire life and you can clearly see how terrible of a person they are.
@@amarrevolver4452 My guy, you need therapy. If your father is anything like Troy, go find a good therapist. The amount of suppressed trauma you find from that will surprise you.
The reason why people call it abuse is because it is what it is. Abuse.
@@amarrevolver4452 This guy is literally the worst dad ever
"He meant to do more good than he meant to do harm" - I absolutely hated and loved this line. I hate how people can justify angry, bitter and abusive people because of intention. Intention to me does not negate the action. The harm he caused to the family will forever be scars on their hearts, regardless of his "intention". Just because you may understand his POV doesn't justify his actions.
This is greatly explained. Props to you!
EXACTLY 💯 💯
Lol no. Women will never understand the world of men.
this reminds me of Walter from Breaking Bad, while i understand his intentions it doesnt justify his actions
Wow u articulated this so good. This is what I tell myself as well w trauma w some of my brothers
I hate how she, in a way, minimizes all the shit Troy put them through
Troy was only a man with many faults trying to do what he thought was right while trying to deal with his own childhood trauma and demons ,children tend to raise parents up on a pedestal and expect perfection eventually you gotta grow up and realise they are only human.
@@michaelhorne4742 yes but there's a limit to that understanding. When you cross the line from discipline to abuse it doesn't matter anymore what your intentions were. It doesn't matter what hurt you experienced in your own upbringing. You've already caused more harm than good. Whatever lesson you were attempting to teach has flown out the window, and you have lost any credibility with whoever you were attempting to teach it to.
She's a psychopath like the majority
@@1SeeYouSpaceCowboy1 Think you kinda missed the point of my comment, no ones trying to excuse troy's behaviour but because of his violent and abusive upbringing he didn't think he was doing anything wrong in his own mind he was doing what he thought was right. When you live in violent household and environment alot of things become normalised and you dont understand the negative effects its had on your personality.
@@michaelhorne4742 i don't think i missed the point at all, my guy. you kinda just said the same thing twice. To which I reiterate: it's sad that Troy went through what he did, but the takeaway needs to be that what he went on to do to his son wasn't okay. We don't just stop at "well he had it hard too." we need to go beyond that and say, "okay, well, that was then, and it sucked, but this is now and you aren't justified in recreating the environment for your children that you had as a child." Acknowledging Troy's tragic childhood is valid, but remember, he's creating that same tragedy for his son and he is still accountable for that.
The last time Cory was home, his father beat him up and disowned him. The fact that one of the first things his mother does after seeing him again *is hitting him* really says a lot about her character. Cory always came second.
In them times god first marriage then kids
God is an excuse to get away things.
do you ever get the dildo out of your ass?
I agree I haven’t seen my father in 10 years, I know my siblings don’t, and we don’t care. Because he was a piece of shit. And hell if there’s even a funeral I’m not coming. I don’t care
@@jpcoqueran "god first ....now excuse me while I beat my kids and cheat on my wife "
Going to funeral with a grudge doesn't help either
That's why he ain't Going
@@diondreward1867 exactly
But a man, especially a son, is supposed to be the most upright at their father’s funeral. When the man of the family dies away, the son becomes the man of the family. Everyone will look to him for comfort and peace. Him having a grudge at his father’s funeral shows he’s not a man yet, and that forgiveness coupled with courage and empathy is what will mold him into being a fine man one day.
I had a father exactly like the one displayed in the play, jame earl jones. Huge, loud carrying voice, big punishments, and every time he spoke he never let you know if he was angry or was trying to show love. But I will never hold that against him, I can only do better than what he did.
@@dccrazy527 unless there is a law that you have to go.. Everybody is different.... Everybody has a different circumstances...
@@dccrazy527 and just because someone doesn't go to funerals doesn't make a person less than a man or a woman
My father was severely abused by his dad. Never held a grudge, treated his dad with respect. Treated us, his children, with love and respect. When speaking about my grandfather, my father said “I’m not going to continue and pass on the cycle. The trauma ended when I became a man”. He always said there was no use in holding a grudge, it’s killing yourself with the poison somebody else fed you. Let it go.
Gdang Bravo WOW, what a good man and father he was. I would have loved to have known him.
@@katydid1600 thank you so much. He was a wonderful human being and my biggest hero. I can’t say enough about my father
How did he do it? I’m currently in the same position but I just can’t let go of this hate, every time I see my dad I just have the urge to fight or flight
More so like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it.
I don’t even know him and yet he already wins Father of the Year. Abuse is often a cycle passed on to the next, he’s a strong man for breaking it.
Corey is a character that truly deserved better. Abused by his father and ultimately gaslighted by his mother to go to the funeral of his abuser. Truly a painful cycle he had to endure
You can say that again. The denial of his mother and the hatred and abuse of his father were so surreal.
His mother realized through her own life that going to his fathers funeral was not for his father but for him to have some type of closure. You can't undue anything you have ever gone through but you don't have to be a prisoner of it either.
You obviously don't understand the complexity of this situation you to be a victim and you play into it. This is about closure sad how that's all you took from this scene.
@@susmcflur you’re just an armchair psychologist with shitty opinions
She’s right tho. No matter the good or bad, a son or daughter has their duty. There’s no way around it. My dad left when I was 13, if he dies and I choose to make my last act towards him to be one of hatred and resentment and abandonment….. I don’t think we will get anywhere better. Troy did better than a lot of dads. That doesn’t excuse his faults. But a person deserves a basic respect.
It’s sad how many comments break down to “my daddy did the same thing, and so will I.” That spells out too many kids with hate-filled fathers who are gonna pour that hate all over them.
There’s a difference between being a hateful asshole and being a tough dad that still loves you. People gotta learn that, fathers have to learn that. Be better, big problem in America today. I do love that scene where he says it’s his “duty” to take care of his son. It is, but you gotta mix that with love
Dom Higinbotham yep let your ego go he was wrong whether it’s his fault or not chocking your son is wrong because he can become stronger than you and kill you one day
@theFareulookinat and what prevented him from going back with a knife instead of a bat? To just slicing his "dad"s throat in his sleep?
@theFareulookinat "because its his son" didnt stop the asshole from ruining his sons dream.
Either blood relations matter both ways, or none at all.
Cutting off a toxic relationship is a difficult thing to do with family, it's the furthest thing from weakness I can think of. It took me over a decade to do so myself, and the fact that the dude went to his father's funeral is a sign that he didn't learn, he didn't become better, he's still letting his father control him, even though he's a highly decorated marine. And I say that, but he gave up on his dream to become an athlete too, ultimate failure. That, and the fact nobody acknowledged that Troy was a song of a bitch, leads me to believe that, at the very least, the marine boy is going to fall right in his father's footsteps if he ever builds a family.
What i really love about this scene is how the mother states he is not a man, yet not only did he do a tour in vietnam, he was a good marine and got rewarded for his hardwork (the ribbons on his chest represent this: has vietnam campaign ribbon, good conduct ribbon, and a navy achievement medal.) He was a better person than his father, but the trauma his mother faced tried to guilt trip him to visit his father's funeral, a man that never taught him how to be a man, only exemplify how NOT to be a man. As a fellow Marine, my drill instructors were my father figures, and I can see how he has his mentality has changed to a level that his mother cannot understand. He will be the role model for his future family, unlike his father.
If you think that was a guilt trip. You should go back to barracks room n eat sum Crayola. Troy was a good father, terrible person sure. If your DI was your daddy, u need to go see a shrink boot.
@@illuminati7767 ahahhaha
@@illuminati7767 💯
Oh Matty boy, listen to JK 👆🏽
@@illuminati7767 hahahaha u think that was a dad? Troy could've done the same thing by paying alimony, nothing changes at that point
No matter how you were raised, when u become a parent you have a choice to be better for your kids. My mother was a big example of that
I think by cory condemning his father and giving him zero veneration as a father is good. providing for your kids is the minimum you are supposed to do and troy acted like he deserved a medal for it. he was abusive to his sons and his wife. Cory has every right to say " i dont think you are even worth saying goodbye to, Im twice the man you were and I never hurt half the people you did."
wrong
Samuel Hong you gonna elaborate?
@@stankobanko5103 no because Troy was an asshole but Cory's gonna be the one ending their relationship on bad terms. That's not on him and shouldn't be. A man is dead so swallow your pride cause it's not about you here.
@@samuelhong4272 i dont believe everything has to end on good terms. If a family member is so toxic that cutting them out of your life and never looking back makes you happy then you shouldnt feel bad for not making up with them. everyone has different perspectives but I dont think the norm of 'they are dead they deserve forgiveness and respect" is always valid. cory was tormented by his father and more was genuinely happier when he was gone. his mom shouldnt force him to reopen an old wound
@@stankobanko5103 K
Cory has the right not to go home a funeral. Troy wasn’t a good person at all let alone a good father.
Don't get me wrong, I understand where he's coming from but if he chose to not go then he'd embrace the darkness from Troy instead of the good man Troy could have been. This is where Corey becomes a man, saying no to temptation and going instead forges a path of his own making instead of feeling controlled by an angry and troubled father.
@@jorgegfigueroa9755 Becoming a man means being able to cut off a toxic relationship and not reopen it for nothing. He didn't learn, at the end, his father is in complete control of his life. He didn't become an athlete and he still went to his funeral, taking time off the military for it, time off he could've spent anywhere else.
@@jsmith434w Troy doesn't control anything anymore. He's dead. Now Cory has to decide if he's better and face his father one last time or will turn around.
@@redcrown5070 He doesn’t have to. That’s the point. He doesn’t have to mend the relationship his dad destroyed
I think you misunderstood the philology of troys embrace on his son it wasn’t about liking him he did what every morsel father couldn’t embrace the so called darkness while teaching effective lessons and life ones to his son he son dosent have to like him nor does he have to it’s a position in which it’s his responsibility
"Who in the hell said I got to like you"
Became
"Im not going to his funeral"
The things you say to someone can and will stay with them for a lifetime
All the father said was facts and real life lessons but people like you won't understand that . Because he was right , in life you don't have to worry about if someone got to like you , just make sure they do right by you
@@rdbepa7656 you see that, I see a father rejecting a son.
saying good things to your son and teaching him a life lesson are not mutually exclusive. If a man can't then he has failed as a father.
Troy couldn't because he was always confrontational, he later failed as a husband with his infidelity.
Troy is nobody you should be taking life lessons from.
@@Emperor.Penguin. well let me tell you life isnt always kind nor fair but he did took care of him and the basic need. Diamond are made under pressure but glass will break.
@@rdbepa7656 you can't be a father just with that, that's the tragedy of this story. It's not the father was wrong, as much as he was lacking some positive incentive, i know since my father is almost exactly the same as this Troy, he is all about the hardships of life, this and that, one day after i grew up i replied "what's the point of it all?" he looked baffled and asked "what?" i simply said "if life is a struggle, what is the point of keep on living just for the struggle?" i guess i like to believe that he realized all that talk about life being hard, was all he ever gave to me, he fed me, clothed me, made sure i knew it was him who made it possible, but i don't really feel there is a point to it all, i got no purpose, and i definitely feel empty, disconected and not really caring about anything at all. I never been in a fight with my father like this character, but my father did tried to test me once, breaking stuff at the ground when we were arguing, trying to see if i would escalate. I didn't. I understand most young men lack more discipline these days, but this story in particular goes to the other extreme.
He didnt even need to teach him that lesson like that.
He completely sabotaged the relationship with his son for no reason.
The real question is would troy have showed up to his son's funeral...?
Angel Salcedo yes I believe so. The worst thing a parent can do in his or her life is burying his or her own child.
Yes he would proudly to talk shit 🤣
@@tobiramasenju7462 He would've been on that "you struck out" shit.
Of course he would, you blithering idiot.
@@mezalong Looks like someone has daddy issues.
Honestly, i was brought up in a similar way, and i still resent my mother even more than my father, because she alowed the abuse and his feat tatics to make me "a strong man". Its been 15 years since i've talked to them, and i swear on my daughter, i won"t be on their funerals.
I’m the same way. Although I have limited contact with my mother and no contact with my father, I a not taking care of either of them when they get too old.
I don't blame Cory. Troy fed him, clothed him and put a roof over his head, but that was Troy's job as his dad, period, did he want Cory to bow down and kiss his feet?!, come on. Troy was a bully and a tyrant. Troy was a failure as a husband, dad and person.
Yeah. Cory never asked to come to earth. Can't believe shitty parents say to us. Oh I gave you life. Um I didn't ask to be here.
@@brianticas7671 Cory didn't choose his dad.
You know it’s only a movie, right ?
That ain’t troys fault tho. That’s societies fault. The world showed Troy a harshnessfor the color of his skin, family, many things . As things progressed in life, Troy didn’t see it through the new lens as he was tormented through his upbringing. That’s why he was hard on his family, because you have to have a strong mind to survive that. His son didn’t understand because times were changing. That’s why he was mad about sports while his dad wanted him to keep a job.
It’s not real.
“Your daddy wanted you to be everything he wasn’t” then why did he deny him his chance to play football and go to college?
A lot of fathers can’t beat their ghosts that was given to them by their fathers
@@renatobregupathetic
This is one of the most depressing movies I've ever seen because it's scary how realistic it is. The abuse that Cory went through and the horrors he faced growing up, that boy deserved so much more than what he got. The belittling that he was experiencing, the intellectual abuse from his father, and being held back at at time when he needed help to go forward, Cory deserved better than what he got.
Agree or disagree?
Agree wholeheartedly!
Agreed
If it wasn't for that clause in Denzel Washington's contract to never lose a fight, Cory deserved to kick Troy's butt. However, on a serious note, yes Cory deserved so much more.
They both failed him. She’s talking bout disrespecting his daddy when all his daddy did was disrespect him his entire life. A child is not beneath a parent. A child deserves respect too. His father never gave him any so why should he?
This isn’t bout being a man. We all have a choice it’s not right or wrong to go to a funeral. Cory is allowed to not go if he doesn't want to.
True
@@Freethinker_94 Thanks
Its disrespectful !
It’s a choice it’s neither good or bad. “Don’t pity the dead. Pity the living.” Their the ones who have remembered
@@Weplay2players subjective
Cory should have just left after Rose slapped him. He did the right thing by leaving years before. Troy wasn't much as a father or husband. And if Rose didn't realize that she deserved no sympathy from Cory.
Cory should've won that fight between his father
krsfrank wasn’t he trying not hurt him?
That's her husband. Good and bad, that's been her life and raising Cory for 17 years.
You don't show up ON THE DAY that she has to bury him to stand on a high horse.
Nate River Not saying she deserves it, but she did nothing to fix the dysfunctional relationship during the marriage. She kept her mouth shut as she watched the mental/physical abuse happen all those 17 years with Troy. She should’ve left but she didn’t, so as a result is this scene right her.
She did know it. She just took it bx she loved him
What I got from this is the power of Choice and even if you have a parent like troy going to the funeral or not you need to find peace and move on if not it will always be there like a shadow in your mind that won't go away you need to heal or deal with it like everything else in life
Correct, this is the argument Rose should've made. Cory should attend so that he can have closure seeing Troy laid to rest, knowing Troy can't ever hurt him again. Then Cory can move on with his life in peace.
My step dad lost his family but my mother lost hers way before…she thought having a men will makes us grow up to be successful, we are now grown and angry. Step dad got killed by my older brother by defending his sister, my mom called the cops and said they killed the love of her life, the one who was cheating, stealing and abusing her kids. My older brother free and his words he said he’s gonna go finish what he started and
Visit my mother….. haven’t heard from him and I know I’ll never see my mother…I know is that my feelings stop hurting once I knew something changed in the air knowing someone who didn’t deserve to live is gone. I love you bro.
Cory had every reason not to go to his funeral, Troy was a cruel, bitter, abusive drunk and his Mother seems like she cared more about him than she did her own Son. Cory deserved better Parents
Maybe Corey would of went to the funeral if his dad was a better person his son didn't want to go the funeral the son could of felt his dad was no good tbh
Troy was just like my mother. Tough love, as they would say. She passed on July 4th, 2014. No matter what she put us through, I still arranged a beautiful funeral for her. I love her and miss her dearly. But she chose to leave this world.
This man has Cpl Chevrons on his blues. He's a man.
Cory still hasn’t healed. I don’t feel his mother should have made him feel bad for not going to the funeral. She’s guilting him just like Troy guilted him for existing. The mother is just as toxic...she stayed in that toxic marriage and forced her child to be subjected to that. Now she is still forcing him to be subjected to it. Slap him? Why? Because, he is finally able to protect his own peace from that mess? At the end of the day, it’s his choice...maybe he would have regretted it and maybe not. Troy’s life was hard, but he could have tried harder to be better than what was given to him. I know, that’s what I plan to do if I ever have children. My mom was toxic as well...so similar to Troy, but I will have to try harder to not keep passing that trauma on. It has to stop somewhere.
You people still don't know the original problem, idiots, the initial problem was slavery.
@@zealousforthemosthigh2811 I think you’re in the wrong conversation. The conversation on slavery is in the history channel posts, not about a movie on hardships and the trauma that comes with abuse in the guise of trauma.
How was the marriage toxic? Troy was faithful to Rose for eighteen years, held down a full-time job that entire time, provided his wife and a son with food and shelter. He made a mistake with Alberta, yes. But that does not mean the marriage was toxic. It is easy to judge other people and their life choices when you have the good fortune not to have lived in their shoes. Troy never set out to intentionally harm his son. All he tried to do was instill in Cory (and Lyons) the value of hard work. And all he had to work with as a father was his own father's example.
he should have slapped her back.
Yada you living your life not theis movie 🙏🏾
I'm sorry but I would've walked away from my mother after that confrontation. For her to even condone Troy's bullshit just shows how weak his momma really was. Then have the audacity to tell her son how he should feel. No wonder our communities is so fucked up. Folks praising dudes like Troy. That man didn't raise his first child, he treated the second child like shit & had a bastard child on his wife. He lied & cheated to get ahead & cost his son a college education. He was stubborn & stuck in his ways. Yet you all wanna make excuses for this man. The dude was trash & a cancer to his bloodline. If I was his son I wouldn't have even bothered to come home.
I think it's what you see through it all.
A lot of people grow older and start to understand it. Understanding it doesn't mean to always accept it.
For some it does, for others it simply means to understand.
The mother lived a life her son didn't. She loved a life BEFORE her son..when the man provided for her. Hell for all the kids knew things didn't start to turn bad until the man HAD to be there to provide for the child.
In the world black men lived there was already lack of opportunities. Then a child comes along and it probably would've been easier to just leave .for the man. That's how this nation made it for the black man. But he stayed. But the child was an extra mouth to feed. Every extra thing that man wanted to do, he decided not to. Instead staying in that one spot. Those shit jobs. With those shit bosses HOPING for better in a world that wasn't built for him, that constantly took with no escape.
SHE saw all of that change him. The son didn't see all that.
So she understood it and accepted it. She didn't leave him alone in a world that was trying to break him at every turn. Especially when all he did was choose to do the thing that he knew was right. He made that sacrifice and therefore she made hers.
He is still human. At some point a person breaks. No one said that breaking point won't hurt anyone. But a human is just a human. That's not making excuses that's understanding. A human is JUST a damn human. Look how many years has passed before he even did something as such. He broke.
Living the same life int he same spot doing all he thought was right in a world that was constantly besting him down...and the thing he stayed for, his son, doesn't appreciate all that he felt he sacrificed. All those things he went through. And his wife tells him he's wrong for expecting that appreciation.
And along comes someone who basically gives him the same look and less pressure as his wife did back when.
That's just reality.
He didn't feel like sacrificing anymore. He spent his whole life doing just that. Passing things by or watching them pass by him.
The mother is simply asking her NOW grown ass man of a son to UNDERSTAND. Not accept.
He sent that boy to the military cause as far as that man understood military is a GUARANTEED career. College....for a black man...COULD work out ok. COULD. But then again this movie takes place in a time where honestly what has changed much about how this nation treated black people?
The man wanted his boy to be SET. Guaranteed checks. GUARANTEED places to be. Guaranteed exleriences. And after that even during that, able to study whatever he wanted.
You don't have to accept how it came off but to not understand, you're showing a level of immaturity. Lack of understanding anything that doesn't DIRECTLY deal with your perspective.
There are other perspectives on the world that are affected by the things they experience.
She's not asking her son to be like his father. Which is what your comment sounds like she's doing. Asking him to be there because he should look up to him and be like him. No
She's simply saying that he should UNDERSTAND, by now, with his more mature mind, all that his father was TRYING to do. And for THAT attempt, of trying to make his son prepared for this world that doesn't give a shit about him, he needs to respect that.
Well said
@@agonleed3841 Wow. You just blew my mind, shifted my veiw on the whole ending
Troy was Rose’s “Ride or Die”
@@agonleed3841that was a bunch of baloney. Because at the end of the day, his son didn’t ask to be born.
She tells Cory that not attending the funeral won't make him a man, then suddenly reminisce on how much of family tyrant Troy has been to them.
She is still afraid of Troy and it's showing. It should be Cory's decision to attend or not.
@David Edosomwan "apart from the affair"
Dude. Pause.
The affair alone guaranteed caused months, if not years, or grief.
David: Tgose things you noted are rooted in fear still. She was a codependent and was willing to manipulate and deceive in order to maintain her ideal reality as she was the one benefiting. She, like Troy, was selfish and looking out for her own interest. The kids are the real victims in this. Troy and the mama made their life choices.
@David Edosomwan Ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? It's when you start to develop feelings and dependence for your captor, all being based out of fear.
You said it yourself, right? Even after all the things that Troy gave to them, all the abuse and cheating, she still didn't want to lose him. She chose to endure all the abuse instead of letting go. Why? Because she wasn't strong enough to stand up to him. She was dependent on him. She had NO CHOICE but to love him, because she was AFRAID of him.
The small videos of this movie made me realise I am blessed to have my parents who are still together and now I support my mom more to get her things which she didn't get while struggling all her life. This is a damm good movie
Funerals are for the living. not the dead. If this man already had his closure. let him be.
I'm 41. After the age of 4, I probably saw my father a total of 4 times. He died last December and was cremated. I knew nothing about him and at this late in life I really didn't give AF. Was no point in going for a service and being told by complete strangers from his side the family how much I looked like him.
Can’t honor your mother and father if they don’t have any honorable qualities to mention.
As a parent you gotta remember to be someone that makes their children proud and admire
If you’re adult children don’t admire and they spent the majority of their lives with you
Honestly that should tell you a lot about the influence you carry as person
No disrespect to God but idk why bible is portraying parents like they’re automatically innocent. There are some parents that don’t deserve to be honored
@FireArtVids21 because normally parents bring you life and nurture you and tbh it's just to keep families together honestly when my dad dies I believe im not going to his funreal well see though if I can forgive him
@@FireArtVids21 You misunderstand the bible then. That was never the assumption. There are some horrible parents depicted in the Bible. The reason it says honor your mother and father is it understand that holding onto resentment of your parents is detrimental not only to you but your future children as well. I've seen so many men and women who didn't properly heal and forgive their parents and ended up becoming exactly what they hated to their kids.
I,m glad I went to visit my father,s grave in Commins Mi.(3 hours from Holt in Lansing) At LORD TOWNSHIP CEMETERY IN MONTMORENCY because I was holding back 35 to 40 plus years of anger hate bitterness disgust annemostity & depression as well as UNFINISHED BUSINESS that I needed to close with my father & I,m glad I did😊!! I,m not perfect but I,m much more somewhat mello then I was all those years ago!!
@@mrt094fuck the bible
Viola Davis is one good looking woman. She never ages.
My dad just passed away last weekend. His whole life he struggled with alcohol abuse. Him and my mom divorced when I was 3 and he never came around but a handful of times growing up. The bottle always won in the end.
I am now 35 years old and planning my absent father's burial. The thing I had to realise is we are all the product of trauma that passes down from our parents. My dad most likely had trauma that he couldn't handle.
The only way to get passed it is with forgiveness. Doesn't mean you have to forget what they have done to you or that you even have to love them. But by saying "I forgive you" is truly the only way to not let the anger or hate eat at you and have true peace.
And honestly what I went through with him has made me into the proud father I am today. I have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old daughter with a 2nd baby girl on the way.
That's right because forgiveness is for you and not the other person. Congratulations as well.
My father was almost exactly like this, difference is as he retired and got older, he had nothing but time to think about his mistakes and has spent the past few years mending our relationship and trying to be as supportive as possible. The amger in me wanted to ignore him and never give him the satisfaction. But the little boy who needed his dad still won over and i learned to leave the past in the past and now as a father myself try to understand him better.
I did a paper on this in college and got an A but I never really got to express how I actually felt about the movie in a whole. the paper wanted me to express what the title meant in comparison to the movie and each individual main character. I personally didn’t like the character Troy, but because it is apparent that he has loyalty somewhat to his wife and son but the love he gave to a damn barfly and then have the nerve to come home and expected Rose to except his explanation of infidelity. My husband even said that the character Troy was bold and had a lot of balls not to grovel and ask his wife for forgiveness and even more he was bold to lay down beside her without any fear and go to sleep. Me and my husband laughed and said if that was him he would’ve been scared to close his eyes next to me the way that Troy gave the information of his infidelity to his wife and then almost had a little nervous breakdown over his girlfriends death when she had their baby. I actually have to say that for black families back then a wife might have put up with that type of behavior but moving forward to this day and age there are a few to none that would ever tolerate Troy‘s behavior toward their son and themselves in their marriage.
I wonder if she even cared about her son...a lot of women even back then would have divorced or even killed a man that threatened their children even if they didn't care about themselves.
Welcome to the 1950s
In Theater Appreciation, I had to write a critique on this play and I had to act out the “Why you don’t like me” scene. I got an A on both but I told my teacher I actually hate this play for the same reasons you gave and cause my dad abused me as a kid.
My father is like Troy. He is very cold person to me. He was beaten by his father many times. And one day he told to my mather that he wouldn’t beat his children like his father did. And he haven’t beaten me ones in my life but he was very cold and angry and aggressive to me. I was felt that he didn’t loved me because I was bad child or something wrong with me ( I didn’t know why it was happaning.. now he has a daughter with other woman just like Troy. He left my mother and they separated each other. (Thanks god) I’m now telling myself that I won’t be like my father. I will give my son or daughter that what my father didn’t give to me.
Rose is really deluded with Troy, I tell ya that much.
That was a woman’s job in that era (not saying its right just saying thats how it was)
vows used to force a woman to say that she would “honor and obey” their husbands until their death. it was a spouses job to put up blinders to their husbands shortcomings and indescretions and be the woman that would lead that man to success or at least happiness.
Thank fuck things arent like that anymore.
I think Rose knew that Troy was a less than perfect man. But she chose to live a life sacrificing for and loving him. She had doubts but she was invested. It’s heartbreaking.
Troy was laying good pipe to rose thats why
@@khmershakur9197 😂😂😂
@@Monterey96 Now there's *modern women* ...
My Mama (God Rest her Soul) told me despite my father dishonoring her in life she still wants me to Honor him while he's still alive.
I hated the way this movie ended. If your dad or mom don’t respect you, you don’t have to respect them. You don’t fucking owe them anything…
You don’t have to forgive them for the pain they’ve inflicted on you.
Neither did Corey but his mom guilt tripped him n shit. It’s annoying
💯
very frustrating watch. forgiveness isn’t a given. you have no obligation to forgive.
I watched this before I became a father and then after I became one, and there was a huge difference for me between the two experiences.
Before, I couldn't understand the mistakes and faults of my own father. I still had a chip on my shoulder for all the things I thought was unfair for me. Granted, my father wasn't abusive (far from it). He was kind, loving, and gentle. I looked up to him as a man, but there were more than a few occasions where I thought he was overbearing and bullying. He did seem like a big shadow to me, his voice nagging me wherever I walked. And his expectations seemed like a permanent burden on my shoulders. And I kept telling myself that I would not be like how he was and that I would never make the same mistakes as he would.
But now, with a new son of my own, I can't help but empathize with my dad and his imperfections. First, he was human, and second I was his first and only child. He didn't come from a place of experience or knowledge. He was literally driving the car while building it at the same time, just like how I am doing right now. My father did mean to do more good than harm, just like how I am with my son. And I can only do what my father did; do the very best to my son as my father had for me, and never give up showing my love for him.
I guess it is easier for me to say this little anecdote as my position is far away from Cory's experience in the movie. But it took something as big as Fatherhood for me to understand my own father's fatherhood. If this story has a sequel where Troy becomes a father, maybe Cory would get a better understanding. And from there, he can REALLY start becoming a better man and father than his own father.
God bless you and your family bro
That was well said. Fatherhood pulls back the veil and completely changed our outlook with a ton of information we previously didn’t have access to.
"Son I don't have to like you. I'll tell you what's more important though. I love ya, more than anything in this world. That's why you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food in your belly. If I had the money, I'd buy us a T.V, but I can't right now. That doesn't mean I don't like you. Now come over here and help me build this fence."
That's all it would have took...
That's kinda contradictory though. 'Love' is a much greater form of 'Like'. As a parent, you should love your children. If you don't like your children, how do you love them.
Troy put food in his belly and such because he felt he had to as a father, not because he loved him. He dislikes him and see him as a symbolic of the working class family life he never wanted. He wanted to be an athlete, but was never able to so he projects it out on his family.
That pained smile when Viola was recalling all those bittersweet memories.... man....
I know his pain, my dad is a football coach I never had any summers to relax or anything, he always said when I accomplish something that’s to be expected, I was always afraid of him and I was afraid to fight back against him and the bullies because everyone knew him. And I recently joined the marines to get away from my family and I ain’t ever coming back
Good luck, friend. It will end better than it began.
@@blankblank2370 I made it to the marine corps and am now at camp Geiger
I've almost missed 2 funerals. I was forced to go to my grandmother funeral. I didn't want to go. I was forced to go. I missed my cousin anas funeral. Didn't see a point of going. I was nice to her when she was alive.
Yeah and hopefully your petty lives will lead others to not show up to your funerals, it's about closure, closure for all. You cry babies are still upset your parents forced yall to church.
Rose shouldn't have guilt tripped Cory into going to the funeral it should be his decision wether to go or not.
If she was really insistent on having him go she shouldn't have guilt tripped him but asked him to go *for her* instead, despite what Troy did to them, she still spent 18 years trying to be the best wife she could be for him which no matter what happens doesn't just go away overnight so I can understand why she would be grieving for that sorry excuse for a human being after everything that happened, I think it would have been better if she asked Cory to go for her, to at least support her, if not to pay any respect for his (pathetic) father.
Exactly. All this scene showed was that Rose is little to no better than Troy. She didn’t even offer him the chance to make his own decision, like a man, but instead pretty much forced him to go. He should have left the second after she slapped him.
My father was a hard man. As a man myself now i know it was his love and fear the world would crush me
I think this movie is to show the dysfunction in American households many of us grew up similar to this espically with black fathers who work and rarely sit down and talk to their kids about things. It was to show what not to be and to replicate what Cory did which was forgive and try to do better
Children always see what a parent thinks they're hiding. The pain in his voice
Man Viola killed this role and dropped gems too
"Intent Does not matter, only consequence. " - Kratos
What happened to troy when he was growing was harsh and terrible.
But how he acted and what he's done since isn't anyone's fault but his own.
A Father's/Husband's duty is to not only provide but also set an example for your family and the generations to come. (Sometimes an example of what not to be is also needed.)
I didn’t go to my dads funeral because I saw Fences instead
This scene made me tear up when I first saw it. Growing up my dad was in the military and was really strict. Id be scared to get in trouble for fear of when he came home and yelled at me and my brother. But after becoming an adult I realized that even at his worst my dad was nowhere close to Denzel's character here. He never put us down emotionally or hit us and this scene helped me realize that. My dad mellowed out as he got older and I also realized that many other people had it worse growing up
2:24 Cory looks so defeated after that line. 😂
Reading all these comments about how both Rose and Troy were bad parents, and how Troy doesn't deserve any kind of respect made me realize that the world has forgotten a core step in this journey we call life.
Mercy and forgiveness. It's with the foundation of love that this can be achieved. It's so sad to see people blinded from this. A wise man once said;
"there will come a time where people will see lies and indecency as the truth, and the truth as lies and indecency".
Tragic story...😞
When he blew the trumpet and looked up and saw the clouds like a bird wings outward very special moment..
He should’ve said “remeber when dad cheated on you” she would’ve been on his side 😢😂😂😂😂
Nah, she would have slapped him again
It took everything in my soul to go to my old mans funeral. But im glad I did.
Arnold schwarzenegger didn't go to his father funeral.... In my opinion Troy wasn't that bad compared to the father's I seen over the years who abused their own sons for sport.
People don’t seem o understand that you don’t have to explain yourself, you don’t have to stand there and justify anything.
“Momma, I’m not going”
Walks away while she cries about it.
You say your peace and leave. There’s not a single reason he should’ve stood there and listened to her make excuses for him let alone stand there to let her put her hands on him.
Can we finally break generational trauma and stop living on the antiquated sorrows of our ancestors? The time for anger came and went, but it's time for healing now. It's time for growth now. It's time to let go of anger now.
I love how they got his uniform right
Viola Davis is the best actress I've ever seen!
I am 26 years old and I've seen this before in my life. I was Cory and I can relate to his feelings. I used to be scared of my dad, used to be defiant towards him when I grew up and even hated him for raising me as he did. But one you get the whole picture, you understand why. Troy didn't know any better, he left his house at the age of 14, his dad abuse him, never gave him love and he was a black man. How do you manage to give love back or to other people if you never received it. Sure he wasn't the best dad, but he tried to do everything with what he got (what he received), he was a better dad that his own dad. Cory can't see this because he didn't know his dad's past and did live in a different world. He got an education. He knew better. And somehow his dad and mom did that for him. They put him on their shoulders and that's why he sees a different world.
We are humans, imperfect and filled with emotions. That's us. We need to understand us a bit more.
Good to know there's someone with some sense out there. All I see are cry baby comments about how evil Troy was. He did his best with what life gave him. Of course he wasn't perfect no one is. Rose put it all perfectly because she knew him like no one else did.
@@biggchris7434 "He did his best with what life gave him." Love is free dude. If I never heard an "I love you" from my dad I wouldn't go to his funeral either. Troy was abusive and that is simply not okay and not just "not perfect".
@@Blubableful some of our black grandparents didn't do a good job teaching our fathers on love or respect because they never received it themselves as kids. don't underestimate the psychological effects from racism in the south. they're only concern was to make sure their son was living and doing good in school. my dad never said "i love you" and did very similar things troy did, but the more you grow older, the more you look at the bigger picture of why they acted like this. you don't have to forgive them because everyone has a choice. but i hope the ones that did go through this grew to understand their fathers were just damaged kids themselves
Shut the fuck up. You thought you ate here.
@@Blubableful I never heard "I love you" from my dad either. He was not raised in a family that had love and he had never heard it from his father OR mother.
After I moved out and graduated from college and saw the world I came back to visit. My dad had changed and he said the words. We have a very good and loving relationship now.
You learn from what you see and multigenerational trauma is a thing. Cut the man some slack for when you're visiting Rome, you do as the Romans do.
Damn she's a phenomenal actress!
I understand the son's feelings, my father is the same ,I can't with him
I believe that its hard to come back to a place where you been treated and dealt a wrong hand. And i feel that Cory “first” make peace within himself for all the pain and then confront his father’s death with new lens. But in my pov, i guess in troy’s eyes. What makes you a man is able to pull yourself out of the mud, especially when you keep getting kicked down. But it doesn’t. He may have been there physically for his son but not mentally and THAT is unforgivable. And cory deserves to first come to terms with it and then confront losing his dad
It’s important to understand conditions, under which your parents were formed, what made them so bad. You have to be honest and don’t turn around from truth. But what other people forget, is that they WERE bad. You can show empathy to your parents and still recognise their mistakes. Any other way is a weakness.
Too many people don’t get second part. You can have a kid and make mistake. You can understand that parenting was harder than you think, but mistake is a mistake.
It’s hard to remember, it’s much easier to push responsibility from yourself and your parents, and sometimes it’s justified.
We all are people, we aren’t all-powerful, but our mistakes aren’t always made because of this. You mustn’t justified all your fuck ups by this. If you won’t hold yourself in check, you will become much more awful than you ever wanted to be.
And Troy did this, and more often than some people would like to abmit.
Kinda wanted to see a rematch between Troy and Cory the Marine
My father and I didn't always see eye to eye, but I did attend his funeral. My father's "widow" said that she only tolerated me because of my father over the phone, but it was a different story in front of her audience. My older brother stays at her house and has not contacted me since we buried my father. Am I sad? Absolutely not. I'm at peace without having anything to do with my father's extended family. As far as I am concerned, they can stay where they are.
I am sick and tired of toxic women thinking they have any kind of right at all to tell a man what does and doesn’t make him a man. What the hell do they know about manhood?
Viola Davis what a gifted and tremendous actress ,a strong woman ,absolutely love her ,what a great movie ,this film touched me so ,
My dad and I weren’t not close we hardly ever I say I love you but if my dad died I would want to go to his funeral and pay my respects
Blah bleep boop I am ASAIN
@@nonso1078 it’s not about being white or black, it’s about at least being the bigger man then your father!
@@jdfox8889 what?
@@nonso1078 whatever
@@XXLRUNNER hahahahah
“Disrespecting your Daddy ain’t gonna make you a man, Cory.” Oh, and Troy abusing Cory made TROY a Man? Ha, that’s one helluva laugh 😂
So Troy ruined that boy's future, beat him, cheat on his mom, and hurt her physically, but she still wants her son to go to his funeral?
Nah, i would of walked.
Sometimes healing can hurt more than getting wounded
I don’t know who wrote the script for this play/ movie, but I don’t think I’ve EVER seen better and when they chose the actors/ actress for this, they hit the Mother Load. You can SEE it in their eyes and on their faces, without even a word being said.
Just pure Magic. I can watch this movie over and over and it touches me every time!!
Its sad to see how many broken and unhealed people are in these comments. All I have to say is forgive your parents. Holding onto hate and resentment will do you no good. And you will likely became exactly what you hated when it comes to your own kids. You think parents become this way because they took the time to heal and end the cycle of what their parents did to them?
You are introduced life, the people of you, will be there. You don't have to be them. Be bigger than them
My mom actually used the part where ,Troy tells his son how he doesn’t have to show love to him because he takes care of him, as why she was so cool to us as kids I laughed and showed her this clip I asked if she had even watched the movie or just that clip on TH-cam she didn’t say anything after
Probably did. But I didn't watch this movie until a few years ago. Before that, ice said it a few times. It's one of those "man things" to say. It has a meaning behind it.
@@agonleed3841 Those "man things" are fucking toxic.
@@Palpad100 It's not a "man thing". Most fathers love their kids, he's just toxic. Like mothers who use use their motherhood and accuse their adult children of being ungrateful to guilttrip their children into doing something their children know is wrong.
My father was like this to me, his father was like this to him and so on. Now I'm f**ked up, and I know I would be a horrible father, which is why I'm not having kids. Don't want to make a child suffer.
Or you could try to do better for your own kid
"ok mom, thinks for abusing me right along side him all those years, and after this conversation, I won't be at your damn funeral neither.
It’s crazy how people can relate to both Corey and Troy. Some dads do the best they can for their families and don’t even get a thank you by the end of day from their wife or children. Some children grow up being emotionally neglected by their children and as they get older and try talk about this with their parent/parents the parents justify it by saying they work so hard to keep a roof and clothes over their children. Parents start building emotional connections when they’re young. Yes, work and provide but at the same be there emotionally for your children. Children understand that your parents do a lot for you so sometimes understand that they’re trying do their best for you.
Letting Troy get to him and bring him down is gonna turn into Troy. Going to a funeral and showing love is the best way to rebel against him and show that you were a better man”
Nope, no contact don't go
Nope that will be considered acting if he don’t want to go he don’t want go his mother should have been ok see you later and kiss him
Not really. You dont realize that he doesn't want anything to do with his memories at all. He was no good to him. I can relate. I have nothing to do with my stepfather or father.
How the fuck are you supposed to give something that you ain't never had? When the fuck did Troy ever give Cory a hug or show him father son soft affection? Never. Yet you want Cory to turn the other cheek and do that. Get the fuck out of here. Thats a good way to be a fuckin door step for everyone to step on.
Exactly. Troy is, after all, Cory's father. I don't think simply attending the funeral would mean that Cory loved Troy, it would just show that Cory forgave and forgot. That's the best way to move on from someone, I'd say.
She has what's called blind loyalty. She overlooked how Tony treated him. Despite the fact he was an awful father and he cheated on her, she stayed loyal to him because that's what a spouse does. However, man or woman, if your spouse is in the wrong, you need to call them out on it.
In my opinion, there were different types of men back in the 1950s and earlier they were hard they stuck around they didn’t divorce their wives like everyone gives up now they provided for their families they broke their backs for their families it was a different type of fathers than now it was different types of husbands than now. life in a poor lower middle class family was different yes Troy wasn’t the most loving best hugs and kisses soft daddy but did his sons turn out good did they do better than him isn’t that the goal of every parent and parents are human too. Being a black man today is hard forget 1950 it was a different type of responsibility for your kid and as person who had a tough father I thought like Cory growing up but until I became a man I didn’t respect how hard my dad had to be and that he was a human being with flaws but he did me right and I thank my dad everyday for the toughness he gave me
You said it perfectly
Don't worry I mean only a man who never had an abusive father rather physical or psychologically would say that
the little mr perfect who wrote this thing is braging he had a good life
@@papito9898 Troy wasn’t abusive though, he was just a hardass.
@@adewilson132 Making your son fear you as a child is abusive
What a load of nonsense. Better to divorce your wife and live apart than cheat on her and get another woman pregnant, which brings even more disgrace and shame to the family than a divorce would. You’re saying this as if Troy was the exemplar of fatherhood. Hint hint: he wasn’t. He was a POS who ruined his relationship with his son. Have you ever wondered why so many children who raised like that back in the 50s became depressed, suicidal or drug addicts? It’s because they had toxic upbringings.
Stop justifying dysfunction just because it happened in the past.
This is a really good movie
Can we talk about how the mom slapping Cory was wrong on so many levels? 1) He's an adult and has the right to decide what he's going to do and what he's not going to do 2). He's in military uniform - have some respect for the uniform if nothing else.
Bruh, that’s her goddamn son
@@antoniodoleman4105 and? Show some damn respect.
@@antoniodoleman4105 And you think that excuses her using physical violence on her own child? You're just like her. 😆😄🤦♂️🤦
RIP dad. And keep your promise. You’re the first person I will see. You promised. We ended well.
Those dress blues are mighty loose around the neck and where’s his cover?
Cory was in the right here, after what Troy did. Death does not absolve a person of the wrongs they may have committed in life, 'cause people still remember them.
People only can make sense of things by finding the positive side in it
incredible acting. truly.
This is the type of acting i miss. None of that fruity stuff a real story telling no bs the world needs this type of movies now more than ever.
Don't let your resentment turn into regret. My dad was a real mean asshole too but now im a dad. I understand now that my dad was just another human being growing up and learning like i was. I dont hold anything over my dad anymore . I dont talk to the guy but once or twice a year, but the pain and hatred is gone. I'm thankful that i grew up healthy and for the most part had good food and clothes and was never homeless.Parents aren't super heroes.theyre humans too
Troy was a hypocritical, self-absorbed narcissist with a victim mentality. That sabotaged his son's future because he was incapable of seeing him succession where he wasn't "allowed" to succeed. Acted like he deserved a medal for doing the literal bare-minimum of his duty as a father and ultimately kicked him out of his home over finally standing up to him because he had enough of his father's shit.
Cory came out of it with loads of resentment, lost opportunities for the future and trauma because of a good for nothing piece of shit that was incapable of seeing anyone but himself happy. (Parents are flawed, but being a flawed parent and a abusive piece of shit are two very different things. Troy was a shitty father, husband and overall person and he's lucky to have gotten a funeral in the first place.)
This...
Why would someone reject not going to an assholes funeral
Watching this in English 11. So far, it's crazy 😮
I hated and loved this scene. Loved the power of the acting. Hated the whole setup of it.
Because Cory wasn't Troy. He already fucking proved that. His mom trying to gaslight him to see him as a human being with flaws doesn't change any of the hurt he caused. I don't fucking care what he meant to do; it's what he did that matters in the end.
Amazing movie. 10/10
Considering the time this story was based in, the dad was clearly trying to protect his son the best way he knew how. Hate him or not, he became a decorated soldier, and independent from his parents, unlike the other son who leached off them. I’m sure the dad wouldn’t care about him coming to his funeral, him not being a bum, criminal, etc was probably more important 🤷🏾♂️