Probably half my stims relate to music: I hum, click my teeth rhythmically, even breathe in rhythms to create a “drumroll” in my ears. As a child, I learned to hum and click subvocally to get away with almost constant stimming at school.
I still don't think I stim...or perhaps not in 'typical' autistic ways, other than listening to songs on repeat. That said, I did notice my left hand curling and uncurling for a few seconds when I was in a busy train station last week.
Absolutely brilliant video; both your taste in music and humor are clearly on a different level from most content creators I've seen, thank you for being such an authentic breath of fresh air. I'm curious as to your relationship with guitars. I've been playing guitar since I was a teen and I'm just about 40 now, just discovered my AuDHDness and got diagnosed last month. I've come to the realization that my relationship with guitar is way more complex than I had considered prior to that. I think that my relationship with guitar is 70% therapeutic. For one, it is a giant, complex stim! Its tactile, auditory, visual, and even emotional, all wrapped up in one activity. And guitars themselves are fun to have and collect, so it tickles that autistic need in me for organization, collection, and categorization, as well as the more embodied stims.
Thank you so much for your kind comments, Brandon. As you know, I'm struggling right now, so your appreciation is perfectly-timed. I'm actually not that fussed about guitars, though I absolutely understand why someone might be healthily obsessed by them. This TH-cam channel is my guitar collection - I like having an organised assortment of work to share. I also write poetry, and I enjoy the writing, categorisation and - hopefully - publication. As I said in this video, I love being creative. I love being in a 'flow state'. The happiest I've been was when I was making the terrible 'Teddy Scare' (it's on my other TH-cam channel). A 37 year-old-man shouldn't be cheekily making a film about possessed teddy bears on a university campus, but it was the best fun. However, needless to say, it doesn't pay the bills.
I have always loved music. My mom was a music teacher in public schools. My dad played clarinet, flute and string bass. My brother also plays string bass , bass guitar and piano. I was the least talented of the family, but I played piano and cello when I was younger in our local symphony, along with my dad and brother. I always had certain classical or broadway musical albums that I would play on my record player (mid 1960s) over and over and over. I still have a tendency to do this today with Spotify “Liked Songs”. Certain songs or musical pieces put me in a wonderful mood. And so I do like to play them over and over. I did so enjoy this video. Thanks.
Music is the best. I used to think it was films, and I still return to poetry again and again, but music is magic. It's infinite. It's a space to be free and expressive in a way that can resonate with so many people. This might be more important for autistic people, who are more used to being shunned for simply being themselves. Music is an extremely important way of regulating my emotions - both listening to it and, very occasionally, making it. I wish I was talented - I can only play bad rhythm guitar and basic tracks on my computer - but the process is so much fun, even if no one else is listening. Indeed, this is the attitude I have when I'm making TH-cam videos!
Oh wow, thank you so much, James! I'm feeling a bit sore about the song because it was recently rejected for a film festival, but I had so much fun making it, and comments like yours make it worth it. As I'm typing this, I'm listening to Tom Rosenthal - he's absolutely ridiculously talented. Gorgeous music.
Thank you for the recommendation i look forward to exploring tom rosenthal's musiic 👍. Sorry to hear your song was'nt accepted they have missed out there with that one☹️🙋♂️
@@jamesnock5572 Ah, you're took kind - thank you! I've submitted loads of poems over the past 20 years, so I'm used to rejection. External approval (in terms of my artistic efforts) has become less important since I've found out (in my 40s) that I'm autistic. That will sound like I'm bitter, but I'm not - there are so many poets & musicians who I wish could share 1/10th of their talent with me.
Another top-notch video! Music played a big role in my life for many years. Searching for the meaning of life through lyrics maybe? Words and noises arranged to evoke meaning and emotion... Anyway, I'm totally going to lookup some of the artists you mentioned. Can't wait until Nine et Neuf does a US tour, haha! Seventeen by Sharon Van Etten has been my "repeat" song lately.
I occasionally pay proper attention to lyrics, but I'm mainly interested in the sounds and how they somehow magically provoke such intense feelings. Do look up the artists I mentioned! I like the song Seventeen. Not sure when Nine et Neuf are touring the US!
I used to be a vocalist in a metal band. Such a great experience. However, I found shows to be a challenge when engaging with the crowd... "Hey... hello everyone! This next song is called... uh... what is it called again? Ah... just play the song *uncomfortable silence*... play the song please." The ability to funnel my rage and and sadness into song was amazing, and I felt truly at peace after my musical expellation. It was like I'd tapped into some unwieldy form of extroverted energy.
That's so cool that you were a vocalist in a metal band. It's cool that you were in a band, whatever the genre! My friend Paul used to be in a band - his TH-cam channel is Adult with Autism, which is also the name of his soundcloud (he writes more acoustic songs these days, but you can still hear the metal in his voice!)
@@AutisticNotAlien Ah nice! I'll check out your friend's channel! I often wonder these days if I wasn't having a sort of performative meltdown onstage. With a lot of the positive interactions we had with crowds (perhaps not so much when I spoke between songs) there would be this supercharged feeling I'd feel as if I had acquired a slight aspect of superspeed. I'd see this as an extroverted conduit of sorts... a social electrocution, if you will. Soon after the energy left me, I felt completely at peace. I was basically abandoned by the band without explanation after close to 20 years of being together. It makes some sense as I often didn't mesh with the general aesthetic of the band, and I often clashed with the members for their ignorant behavior. I also felt less comfortable onstage and wanted to make music without the ego posturing. I am trying to get back to songwriting, but I've somewhat hyperfocused on vocals without building on any other aspect. I'm a little inept software-wise, but I do want to create some compositions through sampling and audio manipulation. Would you suggest any sort of approach or software in particular?
@@Ophmar4 I occasionally do poetry readings (I'm doing one tonight!), and before I realised I'm autistic, I often wondered why I struggled so much to just speak with people in the interval or afterwards. Even my ad libs for my reading were scripted! On stage, I was in control, but when I'm off stage, I'm in a world of unpredictability, egos, competition, hidden rules... Basically, I know what it's like to feel abandoned. I just can't play the game that most people seem to enjoy playing, so now I'm giving myself permission to pour more energy into things I enjoy - like silly TH-cam videos and songs. Talking of which...I'm not sure about sampling and audio manipulation (though it's something I would absolutely love to try). I use the most basic version of FL Studios, which doesn't allow vocals to be included - I record all my vocals on my phone! I then add them into Camtasia once I've finished filming the video. It's very crude and amateurish, but I like the limitations, especially when I'm making a parody that is deliberately simple in tribute to the early days of synth pop! I really like some of Dayglow's songs (e.g. 'Can I Call You Tonight?'), and he's made TH-cam videos about how he produces them. He uses Logic Pro.
@@AutisticNotAlien I used to hit the stage with help from alcohol, but that was rather unsustainable. A poetry reading sounds like a really interesting performance, and I like the idea of scripting the intervals between the substance! I'd try to force interactions in the past, and it often led to shock of discomfort from others. I've been diagnosed since 4 months ago, and I am very much aligned with investing in myself as well. I'm also in my early 40s, and I do feel like fitting into these neurotypical standards have really confused who I am. I've always found the performance of social interaction itself really interesting, so my own social performance is very curated. I use a social strategy I've dubbed predictive probability where I form the basis of interactivity, and I practice weeks or months in advance to navigate the paths the conversation could lead to. I sort of enjoy this, strangely enough, and I don't really know who I am without the mask. Thank you so much for sharing, and thank you for the insight! I've been enjoying your videos and I appreciate your perspective and style. I feel like I relate to your experience quite a bit, and I look forward to the next upload!
@@Ophmar4 I'm so glad you have enjoyed the videos. I think making a video is like your 'predictive probability' strategy because it's about planning ahead and being satisfied that you tried your best to show yourself in your best light. I'm always anxious because I can't always predict what's going to happen. Making a TH-cam video is to know exactly what's going to happen in a mini universe you created.
😊 I don't have a huge musical knowledge but I do like a lot of different music and would feel deprived if i could not listen to something when I want to, I also listen to music on repeat and wasn't aware this was unusual. Until recently.
I honestly thought that everyone listened to songs on repeat. I'm not especially knowledgeable about music either, but I know what I like and I like what I know!
@@BlueRoseHelen252 Yes, me too - if I don't like it, I *really* don't like it! I love deep diving into music I love, though I'm usually more interested in the people & culture rather than the mechanics of music.
Thank you, Michael. Yes, I've really noticed the ADHD side recently. Constant need for activity and endless supply of whacky ideas. Not helpful when I have a day job and other responsibilities to fulfil!
Yep, I'm on Soundcloud, and there are some songs on my other TH-cam channel. I'd really like to do some more Nine et Neuf songs. Feel free to share links to your own music (I'm guessing you're a musician).
I really enjoyed this video Neil.... Makes me want to go create something! I have very little artistic things on my channel. But with a love for videography, I think it would be fun. I bet you enjoyed making this one....I think music is so important for us! :) Your made up names for songs....hilarious! Very creative.
There's plenty of artistic material on your channel! Mine is just super silly and extra indulgent. I enjoyed making this video, but it took sooooo long! Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed watching it.
Probably half my stims relate to music: I hum, click my teeth rhythmically, even breathe in rhythms to create a “drumroll” in my ears. As a child, I learned to hum and click subvocally to get away with almost constant stimming at school.
I still don't think I stim...or perhaps not in 'typical' autistic ways, other than listening to songs on repeat. That said, I did notice my left hand curling and uncurling for a few seconds when I was in a busy train station last week.
Absolutely brilliant video; both your taste in music and humor are clearly on a different level from most content creators I've seen, thank you for being such an authentic breath of fresh air.
I'm curious as to your relationship with guitars. I've been playing guitar since I was a teen and I'm just about 40 now, just discovered my AuDHDness and got diagnosed last month. I've come to the realization that my relationship with guitar is way more complex than I had considered prior to that.
I think that my relationship with guitar is 70% therapeutic. For one, it is a giant, complex stim! Its tactile, auditory, visual, and even emotional, all wrapped up in one activity. And guitars themselves are fun to have and collect, so it tickles that autistic need in me for organization, collection, and categorization, as well as the more embodied stims.
Thank you so much for your kind comments, Brandon. As you know, I'm struggling right now, so your appreciation is perfectly-timed.
I'm actually not that fussed about guitars, though I absolutely understand why someone might be healthily obsessed by them. This TH-cam channel is my guitar collection - I like having an organised assortment of work to share. I also write poetry, and I enjoy the writing, categorisation and - hopefully - publication.
As I said in this video, I love being creative. I love being in a 'flow state'. The happiest I've been was when I was making the terrible 'Teddy Scare' (it's on my other TH-cam channel). A 37 year-old-man shouldn't be cheekily making a film about possessed teddy bears on a university campus, but it was the best fun. However, needless to say, it doesn't pay the bills.
I have always loved music. My mom was a music teacher in public schools. My dad played clarinet, flute and string bass. My brother also plays string bass , bass guitar and piano. I was the least talented of the family, but I played piano and cello when I was younger in our local symphony, along with my dad and brother. I always had certain classical or broadway musical albums that I would play on my record player (mid 1960s) over and over and over. I still have a tendency to do this today with Spotify “Liked Songs”. Certain songs or musical pieces put me in a wonderful mood. And so I do like to play them over and over.
I did so enjoy this video. Thanks.
Music is the best. I used to think it was films, and I still return to poetry again and again, but music is magic. It's infinite. It's a space to be free and expressive in a way that can resonate with so many people. This might be more important for autistic people, who are more used to being shunned for simply being themselves.
Music is an extremely important way of regulating my emotions - both listening to it and, very occasionally, making it. I wish I was talented - I can only play bad rhythm guitar and basic tracks on my computer - but the process is so much fun, even if no one else is listening. Indeed, this is the attitude I have when I'm making TH-cam videos!
Brilliant song and video 😂😂🙋♂️
Oh wow, thank you so much, James! I'm feeling a bit sore about the song because it was recently rejected for a film festival, but I had so much fun making it, and comments like yours make it worth it. As I'm typing this, I'm listening to Tom Rosenthal - he's absolutely ridiculously talented. Gorgeous music.
Thank you for the recommendation i look forward to exploring tom rosenthal's musiic 👍. Sorry to hear your song was'nt accepted they have missed out there with that one☹️🙋♂️
@@jamesnock5572 Ah, you're took kind - thank you! I've submitted loads of poems over the past 20 years, so I'm used to rejection. External approval (in terms of my artistic efforts) has become less important since I've found out (in my 40s) that I'm autistic. That will sound like I'm bitter, but I'm not - there are so many poets & musicians who I wish could share 1/10th of their talent with me.
“Time to mask for my own benefit”. If we are going to do it, that’s the only good reason!
Yep. I'm in my 40s now, and I'm tired. Time for some me time instead of constantly trying to please other people.
Another top-notch video! Music played a big role in my life for many years. Searching for the meaning of life through lyrics maybe? Words and noises arranged to evoke meaning and emotion... Anyway, I'm totally going to lookup some of the artists you mentioned. Can't wait until Nine et Neuf does a US tour, haha! Seventeen by Sharon Van Etten has been my "repeat" song lately.
I occasionally pay proper attention to lyrics, but I'm mainly interested in the sounds and how they somehow magically provoke such intense feelings. Do look up the artists I mentioned! I like the song Seventeen. Not sure when Nine et Neuf are touring the US!
Oh, I’m stealing that band name game, that’s super fun!
Yes, do it! I think the trick is not to over-think them. Have fun!
I used to be a vocalist in a metal band. Such a great experience. However, I found shows to be a challenge when engaging with the crowd...
"Hey... hello everyone! This next song is called... uh... what is it called again? Ah... just play the song *uncomfortable silence*... play the song please."
The ability to funnel my rage and and sadness into song was amazing, and I felt truly at peace after my musical expellation. It was like I'd tapped into some unwieldy form of extroverted energy.
That's so cool that you were a vocalist in a metal band. It's cool that you were in a band, whatever the genre! My friend Paul used to be in a band - his TH-cam channel is Adult with Autism, which is also the name of his soundcloud (he writes more acoustic songs these days, but you can still hear the metal in his voice!)
@@AutisticNotAlien Ah nice! I'll check out your friend's channel!
I often wonder these days if I wasn't having a sort of performative meltdown onstage. With a lot of the positive interactions we had with crowds (perhaps not so much when I spoke between songs) there would be this supercharged feeling I'd feel as if I had acquired a slight aspect of superspeed. I'd see this as an extroverted conduit of sorts... a social electrocution, if you will. Soon after the energy left me, I felt completely at peace.
I was basically abandoned by the band without explanation after close to 20 years of being together. It makes some sense as I often didn't mesh with the general aesthetic of the band, and I often clashed with the members for their ignorant behavior. I also felt less comfortable onstage and wanted to make music without the ego posturing.
I am trying to get back to songwriting, but I've somewhat hyperfocused on vocals without building on any other aspect. I'm a little inept software-wise, but I do want to create some compositions through sampling and audio manipulation. Would you suggest any sort of approach or software in particular?
@@Ophmar4 I occasionally do poetry readings (I'm doing one tonight!), and before I realised I'm autistic, I often wondered why I struggled so much to just speak with people in the interval or afterwards. Even my ad libs for my reading were scripted! On stage, I was in control, but when I'm off stage, I'm in a world of unpredictability, egos, competition, hidden rules...
Basically, I know what it's like to feel abandoned. I just can't play the game that most people seem to enjoy playing, so now I'm giving myself permission to pour more energy into things I enjoy - like silly TH-cam videos and songs.
Talking of which...I'm not sure about sampling and audio manipulation (though it's something I would absolutely love to try). I use the most basic version of FL Studios, which doesn't allow vocals to be included - I record all my vocals on my phone! I then add them into Camtasia once I've finished filming the video. It's very crude and amateurish, but I like the limitations, especially when I'm making a parody that is deliberately simple in tribute to the early days of synth pop! I really like some of Dayglow's songs (e.g. 'Can I Call You Tonight?'), and he's made TH-cam videos about how he produces them. He uses Logic Pro.
@@AutisticNotAlien I used to hit the stage with help from alcohol, but that was rather unsustainable. A poetry reading sounds like a really interesting performance, and I like the idea of scripting the intervals between the substance! I'd try to force interactions in the past, and it often led to shock of discomfort from others.
I've been diagnosed since 4 months ago, and I am very much aligned with investing in myself as well. I'm also in my early 40s, and I do feel like fitting into these neurotypical standards have really confused who I am. I've always found the performance of social interaction itself really interesting, so my own social performance is very curated. I use a social strategy I've dubbed predictive probability where I form the basis of interactivity, and I practice weeks or months in advance to navigate the paths the conversation could lead to. I sort of enjoy this, strangely enough, and I don't really know who I am without the mask.
Thank you so much for sharing, and thank you for the insight! I've been enjoying your videos and I appreciate your perspective and style. I feel like I relate to your experience quite a bit, and I look forward to the next upload!
@@Ophmar4 I'm so glad you have enjoyed the videos. I think making a video is like your 'predictive probability' strategy because it's about planning ahead and being satisfied that you tried your best to show yourself in your best light. I'm always anxious because I can't always predict what's going to happen. Making a TH-cam video is to know exactly what's going to happen in a mini universe you created.
😊 I don't have a huge musical knowledge but I do like a lot of different music and would feel deprived if i could not listen to something when I want to, I also listen to music on repeat and wasn't aware this was unusual. Until recently.
I honestly thought that everyone listened to songs on repeat. I'm not especially knowledgeable about music either, but I know what I like and I like what I know!
@@AutisticNotAlien I don't deep dive into music knowledge but I definitely know when I don't like certain music, my taste is quite varied.
@@BlueRoseHelen252 Yes, me too - if I don't like it, I *really* don't like it! I love deep diving into music I love, though I'm usually more interested in the people & culture rather than the mechanics of music.
😀
You ticked all the ADHD boxes for me. That was a journey ❤
Thank you, Michael. Yes, I've really noticed the ADHD side recently. Constant need for activity and endless supply of whacky ideas. Not helpful when I have a day job and other responsibilities to fulfil!
@@AutisticNotAlien the video was great it really had alot of aspects of my life in there lol
@@michaelmckibbin9665 Thank you very much.
Great video and great comment sections 🥰 subscribed!
Thank you very much! Yay for the comments too, including yours!
Are you on bandmix? Aha, just spotted the soundcloud link. Excuse me a while.
Yep, I'm on Soundcloud, and there are some songs on my other TH-cam channel. I'd really like to do some more Nine et Neuf songs. Feel free to share links to your own music (I'm guessing you're a musician).
I really enjoyed this video Neil.... Makes me want to go create something! I have very little artistic things on my channel. But with a love for videography, I think it would be fun. I bet you enjoyed making this one....I think music is so important for us! :) Your made up names for songs....hilarious! Very creative.
P.S. Did you sing this song? or is it the group? I'm not familiar with them....
There's plenty of artistic material on your channel! Mine is just super silly and extra indulgent. I enjoyed making this video, but it took sooooo long! Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed watching it.
The song was sung by Julien et Fleur, who formed the band in Neufchâteau in southern Belgium in 1978. (Correction: I sang it!)
@@AutisticNotAlien 😅this boy has skillz
@@AutisticNotAlien i love silly, cheesy and bathroom humor. Those things make me laugh.