You Have Been Watching! Religion
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- Religion is the topic in this segment of You Have Been Watching!, the British panel game show. Hosted by Charlie Brooker, this episode from August 2009 featured panelists Ben Miller, David Mitchell and Holly Walsh.
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5:23 "My mum was a nurse (very unconventional). She didn't believe in hospitals"... O_o Bad career move.
Sort of like an ice cream man that doesn't believe in cream.
Anna LLoyd I have heard a Christian priest that didn't believe in Jesus, before.
Anna Quillfeldt Those actually exist. Usually in the form of priests who have lost their faith but aren't immediately able to quit their jobs. I think there's actually a charity for that.
Damian Freeman Watch "The Bishop's Gambit" on youtube. It's an episode of Yes Prime Minister. You'll love it.
@@leemartin5021basically a rabbi
Ironically, the man in the video is holding a Cavendish banana -- which was engineered in 1836 by humans to be seedless. Without the seeds, banana trees can't reproduce and the plantations they grow on can only exist for about a quarter of a century before the ground gives out and the trees all die. The guy literally picked the one and only fruit that disproves his point entirely.
It actually proves evolution quite nicely too. It is a nice example of intelligent design, but unfortunately for rayy it's an example of intelligent design by humans and was achieved through the same gradual genetic changes over generations that he wants to deny.
Good point, only the banana plant is and herb and not a tree.
Natural bananas are starchy and the seeds are as big as the pomegranate's; meant for the smelly primates we evolved from
Priceless!
We need more ridicule of religion.
It isn't at all difficult, so many religious debates out there, which if you skip the religious person talking is fairly heavily ridiculing religion. Then again skipping it is boring, can't get a good laugh and a weak argument that way.
softan
No, apparently they haven't. Thus Iraq, Afghanistan, clinic bombings, the killing of gays, etc.. etc.. etc...
I totally believe that God is proved through the banana, perfect for the human hand. However I'm anti-God because the pineapple is a bloody pain in the arse.
You're peeling it wrong lol
Coconuts
Quit sticking it there then.
THIS is why I'm proud to call myself a Briton! :D
Kevin Russell Can't thumb you up so +1 :(
No offense to the brits, I like you guys, but it's true.
The Bibleman thing cracked me up. Is this for real?
I think the most disturbing thing about the angel programme is the fact that it is advocating unproven faith 'healing' methods and the idea that those are more useful against illness than actual medical science.
Most people have monsters under their bed.
Bibleman had a bible under his bed.
So yeah he also had a monster.
Look how this school bus fits perfectly down the ravine!
"Imagination or visitation?"
Or possibly Jimmy Saville. Yeah, I went there!
I completely agree with David's comments about the Bibleman's production quality. a lot of North-American based Evangelical broadcasts are a kin to a taping of your children's school play. The production quality is limited to cutting to different cameras with precise angles on their subjects. The special effects and costumes are circa late 70s-mid 80s Canadian local programming or high-budget PBS specials. it's an absolute joke! for organizations that clear millions of dollars annually, they love to really believe they drive home the point that they are actually "not for profit", but that's horseshit. I'm pretty sure John Hagee doesn't show up on television every week in a department store suit and WalMart shoes.
5:30 Your mom was a nurse you didn't believe in hospitals, lol! No wonder you were coughing up blood as a child
Josh Carpenter... had to watch twice to see that
Utterly hilarious - I had no idea of the existence of Bibleman before now. And I agree - why can't all bishops dress like that?
Bibleman would be legitimately scarey to encounter in real life. That's a show where the villain is the main character.
angel jimmy savile
Bananas have been selectively breed for many of these traits. Very odd that they didn't look that sort of thing up.
I remember these form when I was a kid, Psalty, the giant hymnal: Psalty's Songs for Little Praisers
"NEARLY GOT YOU!"
I knew David Mitchell was an atheist, but I've never seen him mock religion before!
He doesn't mock moderate people, only Creationists and ridiculous stuff like Bibleman.
So fucking what if he did?
How many panel shows do you brits have?!
***** Plenty. Frankly I'm amazed we have enough good comedians to go on them all and still be funny.
Satirical panel shows are the best.
The banana isn't "naturally" evolved, it's a cultivar that has been selectively bred for suitability for human consumption for thousands of years. So OF COURSE it's highly suitable for eating, they bred it that way since before the (possible) birth of Christ!
Unfortunately, that was the bottom of the banana he was peeling, not the top.
Watertight explanation about the banana indeed. If it weren't for the fact that modern bananas are in fact cultivated! Cultivated over many thousands of years by humans. Wild bananas are all kinds of shapes and sizes. Some contain seeds and taste horrid. Lol.
bibleman can't be fucking true holy shit
www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=cr&ei=ssdVUo7SNojY0QWa_ICQDw#q=bibleman
I'm still in shock xD
It gets worse, so much worse and so terribly wrong. Google "Psalty The Singing Songbook". And no, it's not a parody.
YAUUN LOL found it. Look forward to the good laughs I'll no doubt get out if this.
YAUUN Aargh... TheBibleReloaded did a video covering one of those things. I wish I'd remained ignorant to its existence.
Seriously, America. We need to have a heart-to-heart about how you raise your kids!
My mum was a nurse ... she didn't believe in hospitals.
So, not a nurse then!
I sighed so hard at that, I broke my xiphoid process
Best part is the Banana is only the way it is by selective breeding, human activity to remove the seeds (which did make up 50% of the banana weight) and make it longer and easier to peel.
So yes, it is the product of intelligent design.
By humans.
And how the fuck do they explain the coconut?
nejtilsvampe God does not want us to eat coconuts, that's why he gave them such a hard shell. Eating coconuts is blasphemous. We are only allowed food which has groves and fits perfectly into our hands. So bananas basically. Maybe carrots and sausages too. As long as it's more or less penis-shaped it's ok, I guess.
stefanmuc2k what about clams and oysters and other things that you can fit up to 3 fingers into, usually?
nejtilsvampe Wasn't aware that coconuts needed explaining? LOL! Maybe Ray Discomfort can address the coconut too - since he did such a marvelous job on the banana. Can't wait to hear his vast wisdom on the watermelon.
"Look how this school bus fits perfectly down the ravine."
Bahaha
The arrogance of these angel believers really pisses me off, they think that they're so special or important that an angel or god would personally save THEM from death or disaster yet let thousands of others die horribly every day?! Makes me sick.
Where did the angel touch you? Show me on the dolly...
Oh america, what a silly goose you are.
I awoke to a mysterious figure at the end of my bed once, but uncle Jimmy says to keep it a secret.
Good gut laugh out of this one.
Hahaha oh...wait.
LOL!!! To funny. Was he a priest? (joking)
"My mum was a nurse and didn't believe in hospitals" & "Look how this school bus fits perfectly down the ravine" were highlights for me.
bibleman.... dafuq america
Bibleman is a prime example of exactly why I don` t live in the nation of my birth.
Jon Doe Don't blame you.
LOL We have politicians who are just as loopy. They're called the Tea Party and yes, bible belt 'Murcia thinks they're great.
If you've been touched by an angel...call the police.
Doctor who is doing its utmost to make people scared of angels.
2014. It's hard to believe that there are people who still believe in stories, that were made up by some cavemen more than two thousands years ago. Terrifying and depressing
Its terrifying so many are willing to kill for such beliefs..
And this comment was a pre-Trump election world haha.
Fast forward 7 years....
At 5:20 My mum was a nurse, but a very unconventional. And she didn't believe in hospitals. Oh dear...
My mother was a devout Christian, but very unconventional. She didn't believe in Jesus. Oh dear....hold on, that's the American Tea Party.
My mother was my father, but very unconventional. He didn't believe in me. Oh dear...
I reckon this is one of the few British shows that Americans are not looking forward to remake. Lol!
I'm sure they could make a unfunny and self-centered version of this. It is their way
"My mom was a very unconventional nurse, she didn't believe in hospitals."
We need more TV like this. Mocking religion is the best way to put it into context.
I could not hold back the laughter at that Bibleman thing. It's so stupid...*laughs*.
Also, isn't making idols like...a sin or something? Eh, why am I expecting consistency.
Although you must admit there is something frickin' hilarious to the idea of a superhero whose actions make him resemble a villainous cult >_
Damian Freeman Exactly, you expected consistency.
Her mother didn't believe in hospitals?
"My mum was a nurse but she didn't believe in hospitals!" what kind of nurse is that?
I worked in the Health Service for almost 40 years and have met both nurses and doctors who don't believe in hospitals. It's called "cognitive dissonance". Put in simple terms it means a willingness to set aside one's principles to earn a living. I also knew a Jehovah's Witness who was in charge of a blood bank.
Probably a similar kind of airline pilot as my uncle Trevor. He didn`t believe in aircraft and was sadly flattened by a 747 landing at Heathrow while he was running along the runway waving his arms.
To be fair anyone who worked in state health care would have to stop believe in hospitals.... Lot of nurses work in and propagate more use of home care, just saying for balance in discussion :-)
The bad kind.
The thing about not believing in hospitals, is that they're there whether or not you believe in them, and there is demonstrable evidence of their existence. You can see them, you can hear the normal hospital-type sounds when you enter them, you can touch them, you can smell them, you can even taste them if you're so inclined, but none of that can be done for their god (or any god for that matter). And they say *we're* the crazy ones.
GuitarMasterGraeme In fairness, a lot of religious people do practice science and (because they aren't stupid) accept its theories. Most of the religious people I've encountered who disbelieve in science have a tendency to be from the kind of cultural background that fears that science goes against religion. This belief is damaging to both scientists and religious people (though they are by no means incompatible, I am referring to those of both groups who do not overlap when I say this) - scientific people start to dismiss religious people and, by extension, all religion as being superstitious and ignorant (certainly false, unless you wish to condemn - for the sake of an example - the head of the Human Genome Project as a man ignorant of science and reason), while certain religious people deny the truths reached by logic and reason (which, from a religious perspective, were tools given to us by God) purely because they worry that it might cause doubts (which from their perspective at least ought to be obvious falsehood - truth cannot disprove truth). I for one am a Christian who completely accepts evolution (among other scientific theories) as true, because that is where the evidence takes me.
Just thought I'd share this, but humans are the ones that designed the banana as we know it. Wild bananas in the past were full of poisonous hard seeds and basically inedible, it wasn't until humans began to cultivate them asexually to produce clone plants with seedless fruit that we were able to have the bananas we know today.
Yes! I was about to say just this. I was waiting for one of the panelists to address that.
KING OF THE SEAGULLS
I love how angry David Mitchell gets and then, at the end "plumbing angel", he gets a big, shit-eating grin on his face. I love that man.
David Mitchell is at his funniest when at his angriest and most incredulous
George Lucas should totally sue their asses.
And Dawkins should be like a supervillain, Bibleman's arch enemy. I'd watch that :P
The Pineapple is the work of The Devil!
Yup... that one does not get peeled and does not go in the mouth ...
Walter White
You're just not trying hard enough.
Oh God...the coconut! :O Possibly the AntiChrist?
Just going to say this now: There would be nationwide outrage if this aired in America. xD
Maybe I'm basing it on all the Fox news fails I've seen on youtube but I just imagine this episode getting a really bad reputation.
Actually yeah... This is probably due to Fox news that I imagine there would be ridiculous OTT reactions.
***** To be fair wasn't there national outrage when some women who's house got hit by a Tornado said she was an atheist?
TangyMeringue
Yup and then there was outrage when comedian Doug Stanhope organized a fundraising campaign on her behalf and generated $120k, solely because he wanted to piss off the god botherers.
I don't think there's any misconception here: Americans are the most fervently religious of the West.
***** A British politician recently said that the floods they've experienced in England were caused by the legalisation of gay marriage.
haha in all his power and wisdom an angel came to help 1 middle class white kid with anaemia, while ignoring all the ones who cant get a decent meal or go home without being hit.
almost killed myself laughing with "Look how this school bus fits perfectly down the ravine" and "Invention of the green screen?"
This is why I fucking love the U.K.
I love my country. :)
I like the villian saying "stop with the bible spouting"
What if there actually Was a person in her room, a well-meaning relative snuck in and gave her some medication, knowing that her mother wasn't treating her with anything, and it actually helped.
Took a break from doing uni work and a friend links me this, OH MY FUCKING WHAT Bibleman is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen.
I grew up in a really religious household and the only Bible-based show I ever watched was Veggie Tales.
I love this. But it's a shame no one mentioned that we specifically bred bananas to grow like that. The original form of the banana is a short, thick, bitter fruit full of seeds.
The Bible man proves that if school is too hard, turn to religion.
A "wonderful shine on his face and I could see through him"?Sounds more like David Cameron than an angel to me!
Child realises the fake coughing to get out of school was getting out of hand and comes up with cunning cover story.
And there are actually STILL people that take religion seriously. Go figure...
''she didn't believe in hospitals''.lmao
"she was a nurse.., but a bit unconventional. She didn't believe in hospitals". No, she just thought it better for her sickly (but decidedly robust looking daughter re: the photo of the kid in her swimming togs), would be better off getting so dangerously ill that she hallucinated. She's damned lucky the kid didn't get febrile convulsions. Oh wait. She probably did on account of her hallucinating a creepy white guy touching her pre-pubescent breast area in the middle of the night.
I had a very religious moment once in my teens, Sadly I wasn't visited by an angel, it was by a demon... I figured it was a wake up call from God, that I needed to stop being so sinful and change my life. So I did, or well I tried, if nothing else I went to church more. Years later I learned about sleep paralysis, revisited my memory of the demonic visitation... wouldn't you know it was a perfect match. Moments before my visitation I had a very lucid dream which often precedes sleep paralysis, in the visit I was unable to move, same as sleep paralysis. So from personal experience I've seen just how easily the mind can accept a supernatural explanation for a natural occurrence we don't understand.
My sink is backed up, I could use a plumbing angel right about now! I'm going to call a plumber and then I will start praying really hard. If a plumbing angel gets to my house and unclogs my sink before the human plumber I called then I think we have a air tight argument for the existence of god and angels. Fingers crossed, here it goes.
This is a funny religion moment from the British TV panel show "You Have Been Watching" on Channel Four (United Kingdom).
“My mom was a nurse, she didn’t believe in hospitals” wtf????
"Josh Carpenter"??? i.e. the carpenter Joshua, or Yeshuah, or Jesus? That's both too obvious and not obvious enough.
Hello and welcome to another exciting adventure of Repressed Homosexual er... umm... Bibleman. Right, Bibleman..
"My mum was a nurse... Who didn't believe in hospitals..."
Erm...
Sorry, speechless!
Using the Superman theme for this Bibleman thing is blasphemy. Superman and John Williams will no longer allow you into heaven.
If anyone hasn't seen them, look at any of the American bible channels, you will either laugh your socks off or projectile vomit.
One of the things I love most about David Mitchell is that he can state his point of view without feeling the need to be offensive about it. He stated what was unfair about the "Angel" program and what was wrong with the "banana argument" without resorting to the "all christians are f***ing retarded!" argument. I know David doesn't identify as an atheist but it's still comforting as a Christian to know that not all non-believers have to resort to being disrespectful and insulting. Dawkins really could take a lesson from Mitchell.
Dawkins doesn't say all Christians are retarded, he just destroys the faith with facts.
Mitchell is an atheist though he's wrong on this, there are several types of angels in the bible.
The problem with this is that the depiction of an angel as a man is gibberish, they are literally described in the bible:
Seraphim is a 6 winged monster with hands; Cherubum is a multiple faced abomination e.g. man, ox, lion and eagle with a semi-human form but with calve's feet, 4 hands and wings; Ophanim is a wheel with rims and spokes, eyes all the way around the edge etc. That little girl, if she saw an angel, she would have shit herself.
When you said “comforting as a Christian”, were you referring to yourself?
Now now. Both Mitchell and Dawkins make valid points
Wow. The making "bananas a religious thing" thing is very weird and disturbing. These people are crazy.
Bibleman. The worrying thing is that some people do not laugh it this stupid show. I will be waiting for their verses against women which the bible is full of.
Odd that Bibleman didn't throw out Austin 3:16 which states;
"I just kicked your ass."
If God created the banana for human consumption, why don't some people like the taste?
I'm still not sure if that superhero is real or not. You never know
Wait, it is? Jesus Christ
I am atheist, but the Bible does list the different roles given to sects of Angels within the heavenly host
:D
Now I have trouble deciding which would win in a contest of silliness, the Bible Man or the Banana Man. If either of them had been introduced as atheist satire of Christianity, they'd have been judged as too over the top.
It's 2019. Where are the absurd costumes?
We're forgetting the other option; it could be imagination or visitation OR seeing Jimmy Saville after he flicked the light on.
Shoulda shown them one of Kirk Cameron's terrible films.
Try that banana argument with an orange. They're a right bastard to peel.
5:23 hahaha, "my mum was a nurse, but very unconventional, she didn't believe in hospitals" laughed my ass of there :P
Where's the bit in EVEN THE BIBLE
"All Gods except Allah" hahahahahahahaha what a piece of power lmao. Sarcasm at its best!!!!
Zesty ass superhero. Thought they didn't like that
Not a religious person but Bibleman was the shits.
Your task for the day, should you choose to accept it, is to look-up how the bible describes angels
Terrifying is how they're described.
Angels don't have wings/feathers in the bible..
I reckon the Crimson Bolt and Boltie would've sorted Bibleman out.
Did no one suggest DNA-testing that feather?
the day i gave up on god was when i asked my religious teacher if being an honest good human and doing good to everyone was enough to go to heaven without praying to him...and he replied NO !! if you do good but forget to pray you will go to hell... I then told him What type of a person is so arrogant that we have to pray to him and please him and just being a good person is not enough !!!
I found a Bibleman board game in a thrift shop about 6 months ago. I took it home for $0.50. To win the game you have to fight the baddies, "save" 6 children, and drop the kids off at church! It's hilarious. Pretty easy to reverse the game and pay for the bad guys, just drop the kids off at the docks.
Ha. We need a show like this in the US. BUT IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN ON CABLE. They are more in to brainwashing then helping people.
Sweeeeeeet!!
God had a hard time following up his succes with the banana, and some inventions like the Pomegranate and the coconut didn't recieve the same amount of praise.
10:30 I was sitting here going: "Take a bite, take a bite, so many penis jokes, take a bite! Awww... he didn't take a bite..."
Where did he get that lightsaber??
5:30 ....then she wasn't a fucking nurse then!
"Yes we'd like you to work here at St Mary's Ward."
"Oh, I'm afraid I don't believe in Hospitals, can't work in somewhere that doesn't exist!"
Search for "songs of praise with subtitles." for some very ... odd subtitles. also, I get "The Way of The Master" in my TV package. I thought it was a show about Buddhism with a title like that.