You're not entitled to my body
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ต.ค. 2016
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No one is entitled to your body. NOT EVEN MEEEEE.
Thanks to my friend Eric who played the creepy producer startlingly well! The part almost came too naturally to him, haha. I've witnessed a lot of entitlement on the part of both men and women - people who feel like they're owed your body, attention, time. It's incredibly annoying and violating. Also apologies to my boyfriend Brad, who is constantly playing a creep in my videos.
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-mentions that it's not all guys
-mentions that guys can experience harassment too
guess the anti-feminists and mras have nothing to complain about now!
Nemojerhi too bad that seems to have passed right over their heads ;A;
I just saw someone getting mad that it was a man hitting on her boyfriend. As if Anna chose who hit on her boyfriend.
Nemojerhi no it's still weird that it's a guy who's being creepy to the girl and another guy being creepy to the guy. It's always a guy being the creep.
Debisib again as the previous commenter said it's a true story! She can't pick who harassed her boyfriend.
Haha funniest joke I've heard in a while xD
The encounter at 2:33 was one of the weirdest things I've witnessed.
Anna Akana Anna pl answer
Anna Akana
Must have been really uncomfortable. *shudder*
Anna Akana OMG you are so hilarious I swear your boyfriend is so lucky to have you
this is life! also I apologise on behalf of Australians. Australian guys are like that if you don't get violent they won't stop
Anna You're the best!!! Your Pokémon Go video was the best!!!
This happened when I was out with my friend (I'm a guy, she's a girl), and this guy kept putting his arm around her waist, regardless of her moving it FIVE times. Eventually, I could see he wouldn't let up, and she was just trying to ignore him, so I had to go up and explain that if a girl moves your hand off her waist, she ain't interested.
The worst part? He thought I was only saying this because I was her boyfriend - as in, a friend can't legit just recognize that women are people too...
Guys, can we all have one of those secret meeting and discuss what's okay and what's not?
Rougeification Thanks for being such a caring man❤
Thank youuuu
You kind sir have earned my respect. Bravo, just fantastic 👏
Why don’t we all just have that meeting not just guys. I mean it’s just a thought that if you want to end this then everyone should be included.
You restored my faith in humanity. I hope more men act like you do.
i notice that your videos get quite a lot of dislikes, and i know that it’s because your videos are controversial, and people don’t like hearing that they’re not supposed to do these things. thanks for speaking up for us.
I think the opinion of lesbian about feeling unconfortable with men does not count here
Huh? That makes no sense
@@Ear_Pecks mate that was brutal, made me laugh hope it was a joke
James Blake lmao but it’s true.
About 6% of the votes are dislikes. That's a fairly small amount really, in the scheme of things...
If women make videos stating that strangers touching them makes them uncomfortable, you should take their word for it, guys.
Awww no
I'm a guy and already knew to not be an entitled asshole, I and respect women as well. So everyone who is the opposite of the two things I just listed. please just stop you look like an asshole.
Try your direct supervisor touching you. Not fun. I had to directly ask him to stop. Im not a touchy feely person. If i want to touch you i will. Otherwise dont touch me. And its all about body language and emotional intelligence. Its not that hard to tell who is attracted to you and who isnt. I have another story about being touched randomly. My mom was buying a sofa set. I worked a night shift at the time so i was pretty tired. I was sitting on a stool by the check out counter when someone behind me started to rub my shoulders like a massage. I was so tired i remained calm but i thought wtf is happening right now?? It ended up being a guy that worked there i think he actually owned the place. He was much older than me because he spoke about being in Vietnam. We talked for a bit. He realized i was a wise soul. So i remember him telling my mom after the sale "never let her go". It was just weird. I mean. Going up and massaging a perfect stranger? Come on now. Even im not that forward
Bayareablackman here ❗I'm a man and I can't stand a man or female I don't know putting their FN hands on me THEY SOON FIND OUT it goes both ways
@@erk44 Exactly
Why are people arguing over wether this is a legitimate complaint? Like geez guys just don't touch strangers without asking, it shouldn't be that complicated
Because people are dumb.
And in this case, we are making it obvious, but sometimes, things are on the fringe of everything, of friendship, of 'clean' flirts, of simple and 'legal' casual approach and so on so you can easily become the victim target of their game by reversing the 'grudge' and 'misjudging' on your part (o0) when actually you were probably right about it. No need for drama, just simple honesty and clear humor to lay off and not try this kind of move again or they will leave you no choice but to deal with it maybe a bit more harshly next time XD But yeah, a lot of people are dumb and although education cannot replace intelligence, it's hard sometime to deal with their lack of intelligence.
But why girls can touch strangers ? Girls touch other girls all the time, hair, shoulders, and even guys......so. Ofc there is a limit but if you can´t be touched in any way when someone approaches you in a "harmless way", then you have a phobia.
lol, so meet a stranger and ask 'can i touch you', thats just weird.some people just have a touchy background, they cant help it.
eze daniel they need to figure it out then
I was at a party, and a woman came walking past me, and she groped me. I obviously felt extremely uncomfortable, I told her not to do that, and then she and a few people (women) sitting around me laughed. I don't think they realized that what just happened was fucked up. Yeah, I'm pretty pissed
SamBryan ' yup, women who call themselves "feminists" (when they really mean "Women>Men") need to stop acting like we're always the victim. women are capable of sexual assault too.
That's fucked up. If I'd seen that I'd have put them in their place. Not okay for anyone to harass or assault someone!
briyana alisha I'm a feminist and I'm for equality so what's your point?
briyana alisha feminists know that it's wrong to touch people without their consent.
It pisses me off so much that women like this exist. The worst thing is that everyone just trys to brush it off when it happens to a man because ,,he likes it anyway". Society really needs to change the way they see men.
I hate when people touch me without being emotionally close. So I usually say “please don’t touch me, it makes me uncomfortable” and if that doesn’t work I gently but firmly push them off of me.
Kieran Vreeland same. I have a bit of touch aversion too (ptsd also doesn’t help to it) this has not only happened with guys but old ladies and elderly people in general towards me. And every single time I’ve called the behavior out to a relative that was present they always dismissed me, save for my grandma who asked ‘ what? she did that?! what even--‘ like it’s creepy as hell. I already don’t feel comfortable with pda usually, even less from a stranger or someone I’m not close with.
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Not the youtuber we asked for but the youtuber we so desperately need.
An ace kid!! Another one!! Like me!! Yayyyy!!!!!
Pole Gremlin not the comment we needed, But the one we deserved
I'm Batman!
Uhmmm... no?
"Oh careful! I'm still contagious right now."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA oh my god!!! I love this
bg6b7bft good one haha!
one of these days I hope I get the chance to use this...
bg6b7bft HAHA oh my gosh 😂😂
Or just start randomly coughing on them
Person: *touches me*
Me: "I have a horrible skin disease."
Dude I will use this next time😂
Thanks for the suggestion though
Hell yeah, never thought of that one
That would work well 😂
That's great
"Ana waat?"
"Anna Akana!"
"Anaconda????"
"ANNAAA AKAAAANA!"
"Alright jeez just take a chill pill, akuna matata..."
Bien Crafts
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😅😅😅🤣🤣
Oh my god that is hilarious
This is so funny.
Bien Crafts isn’t it hakuna?
Put down the crack pipe 🙄
I would just say "Can you please not touch me?" Like in a calm, respectful way. It could be towards any gender or situation. I try not to overthink it
I'd add that if you don't want to get into an explaination of why this bothers you, just say "it's a long story, but could you please not touch me". this ques the man that A. you don't want to be touched and B. you don't want to have to explain why. Any decent human will accept and respect that. there could be many reasons you don't want to be touched, prior abuse, skin conditions that cause sensitivity, etc... and the reason is unimportant. but handling it this way does the job perfectly well, without accusing the (possibly well intentioned) man of wrongdoing.
Exactly, it was not a situation where he would have formal power of her, like teacher-student, boss-worker, etc.
I says something similar, along the lines of, "Hey this is nothing against you personally, but I just am not a touchy person. So don't take this as an offense to you, but I need more of a personal bubble"
I might include, "not a touchy person, with people I don't know well", if I know they're gonna see me being touchy with friends at that party or venue, since I'm not totally against being touch, I'm just against strangers being real touch out of no where.
I try to believe the best in people and assume they're not trying to force themselves on me, but instead just have different physical comfort levels than I do. Some people could say i'm being overly polite, but I'm ok with erring on the side of over polite.
^ This ^
I usually say: "I only give anal" and they walk away.
the entitlement part YES some guys just can't handle rejection no matter if you are polite, you pull the boyfriend card or you act completely rude they have that feeling of "how dare you turn me down!" it makes me so angry
why me Reject a girl and see what happens. Women act entitled too.
She never said they didnt... Furthermore, you stereotyped woman in general, while she said some guys. Come on dude think about what you do.
Muricans, you're weird. This is diferent in the rest of the world
Pedro Urmah Luminem not rlly, actually. this happens everywhere. you’re just choosing not to notice it
@@ambermey way to get offended. It doesn't invalidate whst he said
so im quite a huging person (and s girl) i hug everyone and one time a coworker told me he doesnt like it. i said okey and thats the end of the story. some ppl are creeps some just are huggers BUT communication and aceptence is important. you can say you dont want that and i have to stop it. no disscusion no problem
Cute cat on a bicycle
Love this!!
I have a friend that loves hugs and she must have had experiences like that because when we became friends she asked me "Hey I really like hugging my friends, are you ok with that?" it was such a nice thing to do, I answered yes of course, but it´s nice that she asked because I could have been someone that isn´t very comfortable with that
Something like this happened to me last weekend. I went to a party (which I rarely do to avoid situations like this) and there was a pretty friendly guy that started talking to me. We were having a conversation and he touched my arm (no big deal) but because I'm pretty thin he was surprised by how skinny my arm was, so he decieded to see if he could pick me up, which he did without even asking me. Mind you, I had just met the guy! Once he had his hands on me I told him no but of course he didn't stop. Best thing is that he did it again when he saw me later while I was talking with someone else, again without asking. I tried to push him away, but he was almost twice my weight. At least he did apologise when he saw me get visually upset but still, do I need to be on the verge of crying for you to understand that you have no right to randomly pick up a stranger?
Ok... So yes, I imagine he was hitting on you and his touch thing was part of it. However, possibly (a this is just possibly) he was one of those 'touchy' people. I've worked here in OZ for 14 years and I have had guy and girls, touch me at work and social situations.
See Ragnarok - Vacation Teaser Trailer the work scene where Thor is touching his roommate while dictating a letter - I've had that happen tons of times here.
Though, as an American, I find it very awkward - it's not a sex thing at all - more of a 'we are mates' kind of thing. Booze increases those kind of behaviors. Not sure who is to blame here. Americans feel very strong about personal space, but a lot of places just don't have that.
Not the worst thing... I've known Jordies and Scottish who f'ing head butt you at times when they drink. Like out of the blue they just head butt you - not even pissed off. Like "You're my friend, I am really enjoying this evening, I've had a few, now would be a good time to express how much I like you as a friend by headbutting you."
Totally. Part of me wondered if it was a cultural thing, but he did it 3 times in a very awkward, calculated manner, which made me realize it was hitting on me.
Yeah. I could see that as well. Some guys think it's a move of some sorts. Like the first step to intimacy.
I can say I always have found it soooo awkward at work when someone grabs my shoulders so casually... Like "hmm... what is going on here??'
It's a cultural thing in that Australian guys can be very forward and very aggressive. But it's not cultural in that they don't have any concept of personal space and what is...and is NOT appropriate. He knew. This, however, is one of the reasons I like Australian women so much...they know how to deal with Australian men. A good swift kick or hand check to the nuts usually gets the message across. But however you decide to respond, when your personal space is invaded the response needs to be immediate. Because if you don't do anything, guys that are this much of an asshole take it as an invitation to do it again...and again...and then go further. And remember, you don't even owe a person like this a response. Walking away is perfectly acceptable too.
Phanic!at the 21 Crybabies named Trøye Sivan 🦄
I have to agree, I live in Aus and we are quiet the touchy bunch. We don't quiet have the same personal space thing. But if you don't like someone in your personal space you need to make it known to them so they can try and no invade it.
For people touching me, I usually say, "Whoa, easy there!" And use my hands to remove theirs from me. This seems to work equally well on creeps and touchy people.
If they argue or challenge you, simply say, "I just don't like strangers touching me."
You are the only hope for the future humanity has. People seem to have gone crazy these days.
Aw, thank you!
I usully move away or sometimes grab their hands and shove them off with a disgusted look on my face while telling them "Don't touch me" lol most guys get the hint, SOME like to say sorry and try to push it.
That sounds like a good method too. It really all depends on the tone of the situation.
This is really interesting. I once had a colleague hit on me several times asking to take me out and not getting the hint of me ignoring him. I just ignored him anyway. I was also speaking to a guy back then and when I told him about it he was like ‘well just tell him you have a boyfriend, why complicate it and allow him to keep asking you’. I was like, but why do I need to be someone’s property for a guy to leave me the hell alone? A guy should get the clear image of you not being interested and bug off? And so for this guy I was seeing it was my fault for not saying I have a boyfriend.... small minded people.
why are you being so hateful,when some girl comes to closer to me i say i have aa Gf it dosent make me her property,and it is easier to tell i have bf/gf becasue than the other person wont have any hope of getting the guy/girl, people still respect love and relationships
@@adityamakwana612 people should just respect your boundaries regardless you're in a relationship or not. If you say no, it's no, the other person should stop even if you're single. I get that saying that you're in a relationship is easier, but the principle of "trying to win you over" is absurd and should stop. It's not like once they know you're "available" then they have the right to try everything in order to conquer you. And this goes for both genders.
@@irenecarlotto2982 sure i mean any mature person will agree with almost all points you said but my point was that a friend giving easy,fast and workable solution is not a bad person and also saying i have a bf/gf does not make me their property
@@adityamakwana612 it does not make you a property, but the way you use this excuse let people think you are. I mean, why people should let you alone only if you're in a relationship if they don't see you as something to possess? I think it's not about how you feel, but how others see you. Hope you understand what I mean😅
@@irenecarlotto2982 i also think its a mind set,i have said i have a gf to a girl and i dont think she thought i was my gfs property we still are good friends also once in school mt first crush told me she had a bf i didnt think she was someones property.so it must be a narrow mind set
If a guy doesn't understand "I don't like that" line, then you have no reason to care about his feelings at that moment
just say LOUDLY..."Stop Touching Me" !!!
Hawk Moe Or just firmly. And say it with the your body language too. The eyes say it best, I have found
Hawk Moe yeah I say this and most time almost eveytime I get "bitch" comment also sometimes you feel intimited and just want to leave but I speak only in my personal experience (I know not every man is the same)
Delmi Cortave
..or just kick'em in da nutz !
Is that sexual harassment? "THIS PERSON JUST SEXUAL HARASSED ME!"
Said the woman who could not understand a joke and wanted to make a scene since Hugh Mungus "obviously" referred to his lower area rather than him being fat. At least the security didn't fall for it
Hawk Moe Or you can say Hes Raping me
I always say in a funny way "Personal spaceeee" while removing arms or hands of my body, also why smiling a little.... i try not to be rude even when is not even my fault :S ...
Most people undestand, just one guy told me, you need to be more friendly ... wtf ._.
Best responses from both of you. I'm using your lines next time.
Lol, since when does friendly mean letting people touch you?
I like this line. :)
AyAReI00 That guy sounds like he was upset and must be so uptight up his rear-end. Did you put salt in his salad??
great way to handle it!
Once a girl spanked me in college, in front of my friends. Thanks to my rare presence of mind, I immediately grabbed her hand after the spank hit and smiled politely at her saying "Please, I don't like these kind of things.". She smiled and apologised saying that she thought I liked these kind of tricks as friends.
bullshit
Rare ....🙄?
I don't complicate things like that. When someone touches me and I don't like it I look in his eys and say "Don't touch me" and than I go on with conversetion without hard feelings. Sometimes you can carry on conv normaly, depends on guy. When he does it again I say "Don't touch me, or I slap you". Third time I slap and go away. When I was younger I slaped the second time. Depends on situation. I would never come to idea of sayin "I have a bf" even I had, and once he was not far away from me. Earned slapping works wonders, they are always shocked and leave you alone.
melonka100 sometimes they get violent though and try to kill.
Melonka100 good on you for standing up for yourself as a woman. I think more women should do this. You aren't a victim and you aren't blaming society for you not wanting a confrontation
😠🤬👃👊🖕
🥴🤕
There are many women who think they're entitled to men's money. Sexism works both ways.
AznYunHou she mentioned that in the video, but valid point!
AznYunHou No one said it didn't.
AznYunHou not the same dumbass
AznYunHou this is true, but feeling entitled to someone's money is far different than feeling entitled to someone's body because you're being "a nice guy", violating someone's personal space, and touching them without consent.
That doesn't make it okay for men to be creepy to women.
What the heck right after she said, "Dislike, block," and swiped her hand, I lost Internet connection. What wizardry is this!?
OMG same!!
Me too, wth?!
Mine too I think Anna might have broken the statute of secrecy, don’t worry the ministry is on it
Black Mirror
@@victoriaann6910 I THOUGHT THE SAME HAHA
I appreciate you being open about freezing up. It's something that a lot of people don't talk about, but has happened to me multiple times when being "hit-on" (or harassed). It's nice to know that it happens to a strong, funny, confident woman like you. It helps remove some of the shame associated with freezing. Thanks, you're doing the world a lot of good with your videos :)
This boy I know has a crush on me and he keeps grabbing my hand and I really hate it. I've hinted to him that I don't like it and he either replies with "I don't care? Your friends with me right?" Or something else to try to guilt trip me, even his friends have noticed how weird it's getting. I love him, I really do , but I don't want to date him or hold his hand or anything. Any advice?
If his interest is that obvious then your rejection should be more obvious than hint. If you hate, pull away your hand rather than put up with.
Just simply tell him "i do not want to date with you." Then he could stop wasting his time on a girl who want to get rid of him. If he had decided that you are the right girl for him then he better lost his hope in order to moving on.
Koray thank you, I now think that is the only solution. Literally every hint I say he can brush off. I'm just gonna tell him. Wish me luck I guess?
that is your fault,,,once a man fall for u the only think that works is no friendship or relation of any kind,,,men tend to think there is always hope
James Blake how is it her fault??? just because you're nice to a guy doesn't mean you're obligated to date him.
If he's you're friend then he should care that you don't want your hand held. :/
I hope this all worked out okay in the end.
Try, "You may feel you're just being friendly, but I'm uncomfortable with touching on short acquaintance, so...hands off!" If he doesn't like that, tough! What he thinks of you is none of your business.
give this man a like!
That sounds good.
no. You don't get it
James G When did I say "all men are like this"??? Or that you should call them filthy pigs? Wtf... I said fear of STRANGERS is a real and legitimate thing. Most of my best friends are guys. Stop making it so personal.
Warren Cotton i was almost beat up after I let a bouncer throw out a guy who was three times my age who earlier had gripped my wrist in a club. He touched me after I politely told him "no thanks" and ignored him while he continuously asked me to dance with him. Not a rare story. Happens to my friends all the time. So nope, being polite isn't going to help if most of the men that touch you are the ones that feel grossly entitled to your attention.
I once had a guy shame me for twenty minutes because I didn't want to sleep with him...
You stuck around for the whole twenty minutes?
Actually ya... why did you listen for 20 minutes? haha
I was young, impressionable girl and I felt really bad and believed him. He called me "fucked up"
+Steven W it wasn't until later that I realized that he was the fucked up one
Very true, maybe he figured you'd change your mind or forget that you weren't interested.
I'm a person who loves hugs and being patted on the back and stuff when I'm feeling depressed (I always ask "do you need a hug", but that's not where I'm going") so sometimes I forget that some people feel differently about it. So sometimes I'll see a friend who is crying and I'll pat them on the back and say stuff like "are you okay" or "if you need to talk to somebody you can always talk to me". So sometimes I do that and they curse me out in front of everybody. I'm not entitled to be able to pay you in the back or hug you, but you shouldn't make that person feel like a bad person and yell " THIS PERSON IS HARASSING ME!!!" Or "GET OFF ME YOU CREEP!!". You could just say "I know you're trying to be nice but could you please not touch me because it makes me feel uncomfortable" or just "please don't touch me". If they continue or they get too close to a point where you feel endangered then of course you can scream at them and slap them and stuff.
Depending on the situation they might not be in a space to say it nicely. Maybe there upset because they were assaulted? You can’t touch people who don’t want to be touched then dictate how they can react. Ask first!
This happened way too often with me and my girlfriends. This is extremely common. It is creepy and very uncomfortable guys! Please don't do it. Where the hell have you learned this as a seductive approach?
I'm personally very uncomfortable with touching people in nearly any situation. If it's a stranger, I usually back away as soon as they reach towards me and let them notice it; if it's a classmate or a new friend that's being nice but just doesn't know me too well yet, I usually just gently move away and explain to them
And if it's my sister, I just punch her because that's how love works ^^
Australians TRIGGERED!!!!
Jessica Jung no
MAOMAO!
nope
not really
Pls don't
generally speaking i don't mind when someone touches me, so long as it's in a platonic way; though everyone is entitled to their own level of personal space. But in the past when someone starts making physical advances that I don't want, i ask them to back up. i say in a somewhat friendly tone "can you... can you back up a bit? I'm feeling crowded." i use this because it stops the behavior (usually) without having to put them in a place of shame or embarrassment, which helps keep them from getting defensive. by placing the focus on you and your feelings it keeps the focus off of their unwanted behavior giving them an opening to change it without being put on the spot
man ...can i put my number in your phone....my daughter: no i dont want a virus in my phone
Roasted 🤣
i love you before but i love you even more now because of the stranger things reference
Angel B. same
ikr
Angel B. EXO LLLLL
don't forget the black mirror reference!
Wasn't it a Black Mirror reference? Or did I miss something completely? Or is it both?
"'Please dont touch." As you pull away would work just fine.
You wouldnt even have to raise your voice.
and then the guy gets al "woah come down, get over yourself, who do you think you are, etc. etc.
If they guy starts saying that shit you tell him that I am myself and you're not allowed to touch me.
+boxb333 and if he doesn't back off kick him in the nuts. I just don't see why you can't start by telling him verbally to back off.
You have to stand up for yourself Every time.
She said she didnt .
I said I didn't like to be touched. He then followed me around the store, breathing on my neck, saying he was "just trying to be friendly". Every solution you come up with, trust me, *we have tried it*. And we still get threatened, beat, or shot. SO thank you for your input, it will be given the consideration it deserves.
ima readin the comments n say it with me: hitting on someone is not the same as getting into someone's personal bubble w/ (usually obvious) sexual desire on their mind
but yeah the best i got is to swipe it off like a leach
They don't know what it's like until they're treated like that every time they're out and trying to have a good time. Your content always makes me feel seen and heard
There are many women too who think they're entitled to men's bodies. Sexism works both ways.
Muaz Kashif she literally just. mentioned that did you want the video? LOL
Not the point of the video, and women don't usually just grab men's bodies at a party etc
No theyre arent.
Some of these women will suck yo up without an introduction...
+Stop The Madness First off its there, secondly there are. I have experienced it, so have the majority of males
depends on the guy. but either way, he needs to know you don't want it. personal space is an invitation earned, not a right. total red flag.
Couldn't have said it better
Nolan Milnes yesssss I like that
Nolan Milnes nah if it was in England it's a normal thing as mates
Nolan y
equipped even the largest economy we had
Nolan y
equipped even the largest we had
I'm not going to touch someone, especially someone I just met unless it's really necessary... (i.e. the "tap on the shoulder" because the line moved or keeping you from stepping off the curb in front of a bus)
And, I also don't want to make someone uncomfortable - especially someone that I would like to get to know better...
But, that said, I don't know the rules anymore. We're all told that "unwanted or unwelcome advances" are sexual harassment, but the only way to know if an advance is "unwanted or unwelcome" is to ask someone if they want to get coffee so they have an opportunity to react the that "advance."
I get that people at work are there just for work but that's also where most people meet other people... I don't spend any time out clubbing or bar hopping - I'm an adult and I've got to get up early to go to work. And I don't take it personally if someone doesn't want to get that coffee I suggested. There has got to be some middle ground... Maybe...? No...? Okay...
I am a very touchy person when i am with my friends, it's a habit, i touch their shoulders, hands, hair. But one time a friend of mine said he didn't liked it and so i started tracking myself to not do that anymore.
It is that simple. Respect people, you don't own their bodys. And be a decent human being
1. Personal space
2. Personal space
3. Stay out of my personal space
4. Keep away from my personal space
5. Get outta that personal space
6. Stay away from my personal space
7. Keep away from that personal space
8. Personal Space
9. Personal Space
Eze Wong what about how your skin is invading your personal space
Eze Wong hahaha what an aaassshole!!
Being someones girlfriend doesn't make you his property.
She obviously phrased it that way, because that's probably what this kind of people think - they won't stop hitting on you when you politely say you aren't interested, but they'll stop when you say you are in a relationship. The most obvious conclusion is that they stopped out of respect for some random dude that happens to be your boyfriend, and that they never met, not out of respect for you and your decisions. They stopped, because they think of it that way - some other dude called dibs on you, so it's against a 'bro code' to keep hitting on you. Continuing to harass you after you said you aren't interested is perfectly fine, though, because... I have no ide why, honestly.
actually yes, especially if he is paying for the drinks
Maxwell Jacobs Duh but it's fucked how saying "I'm not interested" doesn't go through some guys' heads and "I have a boyfriend" does. I shouldn't have to be someone's girlfriend for a dude to leave me be.
bonkers donkers no not really
Being a boyfriend doesn't make you a ATM.
I know many ppl may think its the best advice to respectfully tell that they dont like to be touched, but they ignore the fact that the damage is allready done at that point. I dont know about You, but being touched against my will always makes me feel extremely angry on the inside. It feels the same as if someone hit you in the face and you respectfully answered: "I'm sorry, could you not do that again?" Its not that easy.
Honestly is the best policy. Always go with it. It's best to let someone know where you stand or why you aren't interested.
i don't understand why people get touchy. you can do this with friends but it's just awkward to do with strangers.
I Australian and his accent is making me cringe so hard 😂😂
I’m Australian and I totally understand
mood
Same 😂
this literally happened to me yesterday at a party he just put his arms around me and it was so uncomfortable cuz he wanted to dance and i told l i'm tired cuz i was trying to be nice but he refused so i lied and i told him i was a lesbian, he was like "force yourself to be bisexual tonight" and "can i have a kiss"
like damn i feel so bad for the actual lesbians who go through this
When people find out I rap, a good percentage of them ask me to freestyle for them, so I completely understand where you're coming from with your response to "say something funny."
that aussie accent was terrible. i'm australian btw. but nice try haha.
It's wasn't great, but it's wasn't entirely inaccurate. I'm also Aussie.
lurveNpeace agreed
I've heard worse.
Aussies are annoying either way
What a huge assumption you have just made.
Martial arts: Grab the hand, grip between the thumb and index finger, pinch very hard. Twist at the wrist, rotating their arm up and backward. Follow through with a turn away from the guy, and place an elbow to the ribs as you do. If you're fast enough, there's no witnesses. Another good one is a heel stomp to the top of the foot. Tell the bartender or bouncer you were touched inappropriately, so you have an alibi.
Or... you could do as you did and avoid confrontation. Which is the best solution in any case. Still, advise the bouncer in that case, because they'll alert security that there's a Mr. McFeely in the house.
Otherwise, I say take the ship and nuke the site from orbit: It's the only way to be sure. Telekinesis is also a preferable option, it's less strategic and leaves no evidence.
Seriously, a touch on the shoulder does not warrant a take over to brutal force... That would be counter-invading.
I mean its not like he grabbed her breasts or anything...
George Lionon as I mentioned, there's always options. I prefer lasting impressions.
Won't work if he's a cop
Eric Martin then he shouldn't be touchy freely.
You go beat up a cop for touching your shoulder, let's see how well your week will go lol
I've never seen someone so capable of touching on serious and important subjects while still being funny and entertaining as her.
Well I mean this kind of stuff always happens at bars and clubs which is why I don’t go cause I hate getting touched by strangers. Can’t even go enjoy myself at a concert cause some random dude once put his arms around my waist and started grinding on me🤦🏽♀️ kinda gotta expect it when you go to these places
People get a little wild and forget their manners at those type of events, some people know that, and just act like they've forgotten to take advantage of that guise.
I was grabbed like that by a bunch of young italian male tourists while they were asking for direction. It was so creepy. I immediately stepped few steps back.
STRANGER THINGS REF WOO
IKR!!
+
Skylar Coland IM IN LOVE
YASSSSSSSS
When?
The struggle is real.
Being called Anna when your name is Hannah
And Hannah when your name is Anna.
I find that jumping away like you've been electric shocked and saying "What are you doing!?" works pretty well. It's all about breaking the "freeze" reaction a lot of people seem to get when uncomfortable.
If you still want to talk to the person, just obviously step back from them.
Remember that they are making it awkward for you. Don't be afraid to let it be awkward.
Well, not to be a dick, but in my experience, Australians are quite touchy-friendly. I mean, a sidehug is not a Trump-moment, and it is quite possible that he simply was friendly and relaxed. Now I personally know that some people are very touch-sensitive, like you, so I am very conscious of small signals when meeting strangers, but my natural instinct is something similar ... There is honestly nothing in it about me being entitled to your body and I absolutely do the exact same thing
This is not meant as a "oh, it's no problem, stop being such a bitch", it's meant more as a kind of promoting-empathy explanation. I mean, it's not like every physical touch is a comeon, for some people it is just our natural way of behaving.
He did it three times in a suuuper awkward and calculated way. I don't mind natural or organic touching in a conversation, like on the arm or whatever, but he did a very deliberate wide sweep of taking me into his arms THREE TIMES
Anna Akana
Well, I'm not saying you're wrong for feeling creepedout or anything,a dn foc ourse I wasn't there, I just wanted to point out that it might have been his natural way of interacting. Of course, this might also just be me being paranoid on behalf of natural-touchers everywhere or something ...
AnotherVolvoxFan when you're traveling to another country, it's better to keep your hands to yourself. You don't know how people will react. I know you didn't mean to be dismissive but either way you shouldn't be in someone's personal space because you don't know how they feel about it
AnotherVolvoxFan "natural touchers" need to learn how to censor their touching sometimes
different cultures and different norms. But as usual classic American thinking they are the only people in the world.
"WHAT A BITCH!" I see too many guys at bars respond to women this way no matter how polite the woman may be when "rejecting" them.
You're frequenting all the wrong bars. :p
Andrew, I guess that makes a man's fault too for being rejected.. "He should've picked a girl that will like him" or "he should be more attractive and rich"... lol... victim blaming never stops...
What the hell are you talking about...not everything that happens is someone's fault. The same guy who gets rejected by one girl can have a date with another one, it's no one's fault if someone does not match with another human, it's just like it is. Try to see the positive not to guess the negative, which isn't there.
Cause most of us guys like to troll.
Then don't blame women if they react negatively towards your types of guys.
It's 2021 and you're still be able to save lives. Should've known you before. Thanks ana. Love from the Phillipines.
"Guy hitting on me"
Me: please stop ✋ I'm not interested
Him: oh cmon you know you like me
Me: if you keep on insisting I will make up an excuse like I have a boyfriend or I am a lesbian so please don't make it hard for yourself....... have a nice day :3
The end. 👍🏻
But thank god I barely get out of the house and I'm not attractive enough to catch someone's eyes with 20 other beautiful girl standing besides me and that I clearly don't stand out.
Guy/girl: Hey you're pretty
Me: *chokes on air or whatever* I'm sorry honey but do you need glasses? "And if they have glasses": I'm sorry honey but you need to get new glasses cause those don't seem to work
But luckily I don't have a vey low self esteem :) and I don't think of myself as low life or whatever the Funk.
I have mostly guy friends and am in a male dominant field, so maybe that is why I feel this way, but I have no issue telling a guy when he is making me uncomfortable. I'll tell him what he is doing that is making me uncomfortable and why it is making me uncomfortable. Luckily though, that hardly happens
I guess they would be "uhh okay" and step back, maybe say sorry if that wasnt the intention, and be sad if he was trying to make a move and got shaked off. I cant imagine more reactions that a normal guy would have.
Kitty Well if they have any form of intelligence or care, they would most likely just say sorry and move on.
That's how it should be. Clear communication is important.
All differently. Most of the time its a misunderstanding and we can move past it/become friends(and once more after a really long time). Sometimes they'll say sorry and leave it at that. Sometimes they'll scoff and brush it off. Sometimes they'll try to make me feel guilty for making them feel bad (I'm a really firm person though so its all good). And once the person didn't listen and actually kept harassing me, so I said "It is clear that you can't take no for an answer, so I have told a friend about you and will notify the campus police if you don't leave me alone." Also, I make it sound like this happens all the time. It doesn't. I am in mechanical engineering, so the male to female ratio is wayyyyy off, but even then, most are respectful.
Savannah Garza lucky you being around such nice understanding men! Seriously though..
I think it would be fine to tell someone you don't like to be touched or simply pull away from them.
Then again though, you might be worried about what sort of social presence you create by doing this. I'm already estranged, so I have no qualms. You may want to consider being upfront none the less.
If a girl pulls away if I am touching her clearly she isn't comfortable with me or is not interested in me so I back away. I can read social cues :P
Or they can just not touch me in the first place... Because she literally just met him.
My approach (and outlook on life in general) is to be bold and honest. Be polite at first but don't tolerate it twice. People don't know your boundaries if you don't tell them. If you want them to stop, like touching you, simple say something along the lines of "Excuse me. Please don't touch me." If you want to shut down advances "You seem like a nice person but I'm not interested in you romantically." It's not easy to reject or be rejected so be polite and affirmative. If you're making advances make your intentions clear. If someone's going to throw a hiss fit because you rejected them that person is a child that you or anyone else should not date. Define the relationship. When everyone knows everyone's place and boundaries it's smooth sailing.
Look at their neck intently... "have you always had that thing?" "What thing?" "That pustule thing on your neck?"
Walk away.
They'll work out its their head later.
Pro tip: Don't be worried about offending someone.
"Don't touch me" problem solved
My goto line is: "I have ebola".
ⵔⵓⴽⴰⵜⴽⴰⵜ Oh god 😂😂😂
The problem with this is that women have been seriously hurt, stalked and killed for turning men down. So it's scary to respond this way.
Men are violent though...
No, they're not. You've been told they're all violent, you're just agreeing with what you're told
Story time: I spent the night at my friends house with her, her boyfriend, and one of our other guy friends. We stayed up veeery late. Come around 5:30 or 6 in the morning, my friend and her boyfriend were asleep, and me and the other guy were watching American Horror Story. He was leaning on my shoulder, which I was cool with. But then he started rubbing my shoulder. Then my arm. Then my leg. He started to poke his fingers under my skirt when I pushed his hand off. He said sorry and stopped. Later he said he didn't know what he was thinking and that it wouldn't happen again. The terrible thing is he has a girlfriend and he knows i'm asexual/aromantic. And I still felt dirty afterwards, like I had done something wrong. And I was afraid to talk about it, even though normally I'm very outspoken and blunt. The whole incident was weird and I still feel gross when I think about it.
Hey! I'm sorry you felt that way and still kind of do. I think the best thing to do is to talk about it with someone you trust. Try make the story something of the past, and remember that you didn't do anything wrong.
He apologized. Let it go.
SilenceIsGolden Tf? So you don't know when know his name, but he knows you're asexual for some reason? When did that conversation come up? What are you lying for?
I know his name, I just didn't think I should say it on the internet? We've known each other for 5 years.
Whitney D. I didn't mean for it to come off as though I was still angry at him, because I'm not. The main point of my post was that I felt gross afterwards, as though I had done something wrong. I'm sorry if I didn't convey that clearly enough.
I used to freeze up in situations like this out of shock. I asked for divine guidance on this bc it hasn’t happened in a long time so it might have the same triggering (& ineffective) effects w me if it happened again.
The word of advice is to apply the same advice you gave when you need to project confidence. So, immerse yourself in the content of the moment & that way you won’t have any space to contemplate the validity of what type of response would maintain a sense of comfort for all parties. All you’re focused on is action instead of the vibe of counteracting.
I think people who handle these situations masterfully are very much in the moment to respond in a way that scolds without creating a scene more than it deserves. You get the message across properly for yourself & enough for the perpetrator to receive the vibe in a way that marked their misdeed...bc the majority (if not all) of the time, they know what they’re doing. So in a way you extend your relief efforts to future others.
To cement it, imagine how that ‘confidence game play’ would pan out so it is that much more accessible at the times you need to resource them.
I am pretty straightforward in expressing my discomfort when my personal space is invaded. Like "I would love to keep up with this friendly conversation but I would appreciate you to not touch me again. Thank you." And if they react aversely to it I would either walk away or entertain the argument depending on what they said. If they respect it, I would thank them again for being a mature enough human being and knowing that some people are uncomfortable with casual physical touch that may or may not have meaning.
Black mirror reference...?
i think it was stranger things. good show. haven't seen black mirror to compare though but I know people who liked stranger things also like that so could be something to look into!
I think she referenced both! :D
***** oh! that's neat then
variansloth yeh!!
Yeah the blocking thing haha, awesome reference
YES I love this. I'm a guy and honestly my own gender disgusts me more often than not. I mean I Understand the way we think but just... why. Why are most such dogs? I'll never understand what makes other guys just randomly and rudely hit on a girl like this, even of they know she has a boyfriend! I guess my morals are still intact though.
NIELS MICHIELS Not at all. I'm a straight male but I see this sort of thing All the time. A comment like yours is typical though. As to be expected. I respect and get along with females more than I do with males. I'm not saying ALL guys are like this, just as Anna said.
Since we're assuming things about people.
Let me guess, dad disrespected your mother and other women/ beat your mother and so you don't understand how to respect women.
All this guy said is that, as a man he sees how other men act, as a man he knows how men think but he understands the difference between wrong and right and can respect women and recognize boundaries. Based off of your comments I'd say you're probably part of the problem (including emasculating men that aren't assholes to women).
Cams250 Yeah....that comment was meant at me.
+Geli K
I don't assume lightly, most guys i meet that think this way had a horrible male figure in their life and pretty much think that it a sin to be a guy and have some faint sense of masculinity and are disgusted with the fact that they're a guy.
*"since we're assuming things about people.
Let me guess, dad disrespected your mother and other women/ beat your mother and so you don't understand how to respect women."*
And no, mom and dad are pretty much happily married still after 45 years and if there is one guy who is pretty much the perfect husband it's my dad.
And i'm pretty much not the "touching women type" if you cath my drift.
Alyssa Vee
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*THANK YOU*
I think the problem is that men are expected to make the moves and advances, but some aren't very good at it. This plus alcohol equals creepiness. I think a lot of men think being forward is good, and tend not think things through when alcohol is involved.
I'm someone who is the opposite end of the spectrum, and I really struggle to pick up girls, because I'm way too inhibited and worried about appearing creepy.
Once I was with my boyfriend at a party, and a guy grabbed me in a similar way, kissed me on my cheek, and whispered in my ear “I am just trying to rally him up” and laughed (referring to rallying up my boyfriend who was next to me). Creepiest experience of my life. Just to give an example that clearly isn’t about flirting.
I've had women act like this towards me and it's honestly confusing. Like why are you touching me, but you're not interested in a relationship? Or worse is the drunk woman who started kissing me when I was CLEARLY not interested
That scene where the producer was hitting on your boyfriend made me so uncomfortable that I almost broke my neck cringing.
I think any of the potential responses you considered were valid. In fact, all of them one after another would have been awesome.
HAHA thanks Geordie
I am a grumpy antisocial guy. Thats why I get pissed when men hug me. But I get horny when women hug me.
Anna is seriously one of my favorite creators
I love the way you incorporate your sponsors
Trust your gut. If he FELT creepy and and you didn't like it. Then, Just NO.
I am in this situation with a couple of guys that constantly want to hug me. Excuse me, you don't me that well enough for me to hug you. And also I am not interested.
Omg me too! 😧
I feel your pain. If only more men understood the words "I'm not interested".
Say that to them loud.
And respect people who actually respect your bodyspace.
Explain to them politely that you don't like hugs. If they do it regardless you have every right to get a bit rude.
except no one will say "im not interested" they just assume men are mind readers
When I’m around women, I get so afraid of being “that guy” that I just stay away from them. I worry that anything I say or do will be taken the wrong way. Even when I get the courage to talk to one, I don’t touch her (at all) or let her touch me. I know I look like a jerk, but it’s better than the potential alternative.
The only ppl that dislike her videos are ppl that are guilty of this evil behavior....
Everyone complaining about how she's overreacting over nothing has clearly not had their personal space invaded to a point where they've felt extremely uncomfortable in the situation. Especially as a woman, having a man touch you when it's unwelcome (even if it's not in a sexual way) causes alarm flags to go up in our brains and it's really unsettling.
I had to ward off a very aggressively forward black woman who approached me on the street on a Sunday afternoon by suggesting to her that I was with my boyfriend. (I'm straight, so is the friend I was with)... but yeah, she declared "I love that boy", abandoned the friend she was with, came up to us, wrapped her arm around mine, and repeatedly asked if I was interested in "having some fun"... she hung around and walked with us for what felt like 30 minutes (it was probably more like 5 in reality) even after I made it clear I was a) not interested b) pretended to be gay c) not interested...
aaron4820 I'm sorry something so uncomfortable happened to you. It's awkward when people don't respect you when you say no. I just want to mention that mentioning her race doesn't have anything to do with the story. I know you're only describing a story in detail so others can envision the situation and not necessarily be racist, but other readers may take this example and add this to their repertoire of reasons to be racist. On the other hand, it may make people of other ethnicities uncomfortable because it makes them feel like regardless of the situation, skin colour remains a dominant feature that other people will remember the for.
Lilian G It was uncomfortable in the moment and definitely awkward, but it's just something that happened, no one was hurt, some were embarrassed, and that was it. Race had nothing to do with it, the same way tank tops had nothing to do with it even though she was wearing one, just telling a story as I lived it, how people react to it is their choice, I'm not going to redact details just in case someone might be offended over how someone else might hypothetically react to my story.
There are definitely women who are too sexually aggressive too! Since I'm a woman, I have not really experienced that side of it myself (probably like you haven't really experienced aggressive dudes), but I totally believe it happens and for the love of god, SOMEONE GIVE US A SOLUTION
Anna Akana A drunk Malaysian girl jumped on me at party once and forced kissed me while her friends took pictures, I've had gay guys hit on me as well, but no where near as forward as those two experiences I've described (thankfully..!), all of that said, I can count the number of times I've been hit on / advanced upon, flatteringly or uncomfortably, however I'd imagine it's much more of a nuance for you where it's too often to count, I'm not going to pretend this is an issue equally experienced by men and women, it's not, it's likely to lean heavier towards women.
I was going to say as far as "solution" goes, perhaps just being clear that you have no interest could work, except I know it doesn't, In the Malaysian girl story, I was genuinely quite uncomfortable, I physically removed myself and went for the door, she grabbed my ankle as I was leaving the sofa, it was humiliating, for both of us. The reaction of the room wasn't "Hey, leave that guy alone!", it was "boooooo! what's wrong with you? have some fun man".. so even if you do give a stern and clear message to the guys that "You aren't interested", people are just going to think you're stuck up bitch like I was a partypooper for not wanting to be force kissed by essentially a stranger, which is okay as long as we give less shit about opinions of ourselves from people we don't really care about.
In my workplace there's this 50year-old guy who has made constant approaches to me, both physically and verbally. Once, he touched my armpit while I was stretching and THEN SMELLED IT. I was beyond uncomfortable. I've told him to stop doing that, but he still does it. Btw, I'm 24 and a guy. I am gay, but that doesn't make it ok. -
I love your videos! You're smart, funny and socially conscious, and a good role model to girls, guys and everyone in between! Keep it up!
Sometimes they might just be clingy friends too. But it’s still really uncomfortable
Channel Emperor Kuzco: "no touchy".
Communication is the key to relationships... and the key to avoiding them.
"Please don't touch me without asking" is usually what I say.
This is everything. well done Anna
Oh I just say "you're in my bubble!" And push them away
Ha! Black Mirror. And I shrug away from people easy, just woosh away~
the term 'comedian' gets thrown around loosely around the youtube community
And your point is?
yasss love you
well maybe its time for you to sit down
and you're funny as hell!! I laugh out loud at every video you post!
I just realized you’re my favourite TH-cam channel Rn. I’ve never had a favorite before. Ily
Just pause for a second when they expect you to say something, look at them with a very amused face and go. "How much do you value your balls?"
Amazing how fast this opinion of "my body blah blah blah" changes when the guy touching you is rich.
uh, no it doesn't. Did you not see the ad at the end? I'm making my own money, biiiiiiiitch
Botie Master right or if brad pit did it or chadum Tatum
Clearly the solution hear it's to change the cultural norm so women can experience rejection and harassment accusations from men there are attracted to. And men can experience the horrors of being touched without prior consent. But no, you won't be the victim then would you?
when i experience the horrors of being touched without prior consent i typically push the other person away and remove myself from the situation.
of course, i'm not a victim, if theres a problem i solve it.
Actually, that would piss me off even MORE, because the guy is so conceited that he thinks that if he has money, he can do whatever? No! Touching people without consent is just being rude and you're probably a douchebag, but thinking that you CAN because you're rich and think you're better is downright obnoxious.
I'm pretty sure Gotham will continue being awesome
I love your content Anna! ❤
What I usually say is "I like my personal space." It puts it on me, so it doesn't seem like I'm attacking their ego. Sometimes I get a weird look, but not a lot of pushback.