My ex got all the qualities you listed. But then things changed; he betrayed me. He's been coming back & forth between me and another person. He kept saying nobody was able to replace me but he didn't want to commit and just being friends now. And I said no to being his friends. I admit I made mistakes in the relationship too, but now there's no hope for us anymore. I'm heartbroken :(
Lifestyle compatibility is important - don't ignore it. I was dating a lawyer who earned over 5 times my income. They paid more in annual taxes than I ever earned in a year. I tried to keep up with expensive costs when we ate out and saw fancy shows, but the financial strain was too much. They were unwilling to scale down, so I eventually walked away. A shame, but wish I'd seen this coming at the beginning. Thanks Susan for another great video!
Yeah, that’s me. I’m the reclusive and he’s the social butterfly. It doesn’t mean that I don’t get along well with people. I just value establishing more solid and non-superficial connections (hard nut to crack here)… When I’m at his place, oftentimes, he would ask if he could go out with friends and that’s okay for me. I have things I do while he’s away. What matters to me is at the end of the day, he comes back. And he also supports and encourages me when I need a few moments to be alone when I make little projects at his place… But still… we have a huge hurdle to get through - he likes me very much the same as I like him. He gets jealous every now and then (a “healthy” amount), makes me feel desired and wanted… He is just not “ready” or “looking for a relationship” at the moment… This will be a topic for us to sit through and discuss honestly.
You certainly should discuss this. The part that is concerning is “not ready.“ There are underlying factors way beyond time at hand. If you can get to his fears and concerns about being in a relationship, and truly unearthed the root cause of these hesitancies, you might be able to progress this forward.
@@SusanWinter thank you! We talked over the phone last Friday and he told me why he was not looking for a “relationship” at the moment. He feels constrained and that somehow he is losing freedom when in relationships. We haven’t met over the weekend when we normally do. But the next time we meet, I would like to talk face to face and observe his body language while he anawers my questions. The main ones: 1.What does this thing we’re doing mean to you if you are not looking for a relationship? 2.How can a blossoming relationship help you loosen up, not make you feel restrained, and help you grow as a person? I’ll break these serious convos into smaller “intimate sessions” so he doesn’t feel too bombarded and overwhelmed.
@@danepinar3506 I hope you were able to clarify the situation. A social butterfly stating they prioritize their freedom over any relationship, be sure they like attention and more outside too, can't be trusted. I've seen too many men in relationships and acting single on the outside when they're alone
I haven’t commented before but I have been going through a very stressful / confusing situation over the last 2 months and your videos have really helped me with advice and more importantly self growth. I’m still stuck in the same situation but what I’ve come to realize is that when in a battle you can only control your own soldiers. I don’t mean that in a confrontational way so I hope you understand what I mean. I know things won’t workout the way I want but you’ve helped give me strength to get through that. Thank you 💜
The biggest red flag is how you feel with the other person or in the relationship (but learn to separate what is yours and what is someone else's problem)..
All great points. The lifestyle should be able to find out quickly by asking questions. The qualities this person has might take a little time as I have found people are on their best behavior initially.
What happens when it feels like you knew the answers to these questions but now that you are living together it seems like the lifestyle portion has changed and you aren't quite sure how you feel about that but you can't imagine not being with them?
Relationships will evolve, so it is very important to be open about how certain things make you feel if you feel that it is hindering the relationship or your quality of life.
Great, great video!! Very helpful logical information and help!! Thank you. If only we would accept it as real truth and stop saying, but he’s so hot!!! Grown up decisions instead of naive fantasy!!
@@SusanWinter I’m rather trapped in a situation in which my ex is trying to get back with me and I’ve also been talking with another girl that she knows, I still am unsure what to do, it’s a bit of a love triangle
@@SusanWinter I’m rather trapped in a situation in which my ex is trying to get back with me and I’ve also been talking with another girl that she knows, I still am unsure what to do, it’s a bit of a love triangle
@@PJD-ol5fc do you believe in your heart of hearts and in your experience that your ex is capable of overcoming the issues that made them an ex? If so, it’s worth putting a hard line down to get those sorted. Proof is in the actions and behavior. But honestly, if you are unsettled about whether to move on from your ex, it’s a little unfair to bring in a new person until you’ve cleared that in your mind. You could do that in your own time really sorting out your feelings and figuring out if your ex is worth the exploration. Or you could simply leap forward and be done with the past. The call is yours.
Hi Jean P! I know and I'm so sorry. I'm learning how to do SEO. It took 2 1/2 hours to fill out this video properly. (Jonathan would be very proud of me.) huge improvement because last Tuesday's video took me six hours. It's quite a bit of business if you're trying to find a good title that explains what the viewer will be seeing without making it cheesy Clickbait.
@@SusanWinter misunderstood me. My hours have been odd lately. Up til 4 am EST and out cold during normal daylight hours. However, I do understand. I have a separate unrelated YT account/channel and I agree, it is difficult at times. No worries… You’re doing great as always! 🫵🪨💯
I am usually bored which evolves to irritated. They mostly data dump and never engage in a back and forth. I usually walk away knowing more about their neighbors dog than they know about me. 😅
This is the type of advice that I wish I had over a decade ago. This is all so true.
Omg Yes!!!! 1000 times Yes!
Aww I am so glad you found it helpful!
My ex got all the qualities you listed. But then things changed; he betrayed me. He's been coming back & forth between me and another person. He kept saying nobody was able to replace me but he didn't want to commit and just being friends now. And I said no to being his friends. I admit I made mistakes in the relationship too, but now there's no hope for us anymore. I'm heartbroken :(
Character and emotional maturity are everything. What we will experience with someone is whats internal. Choose with purpose.
Beautifully stated, Sherri
Lifestyle compatibility is important - don't ignore it. I was dating a lawyer who earned over 5 times my income. They paid more in annual taxes than I ever earned in a year. I tried to keep up with expensive costs when we ate out and saw fancy shows, but the financial strain was too much. They were unwilling to scale down, so I eventually walked away. A shame, but wish I'd seen this coming at the beginning. Thanks Susan for another great video!
Oh gosh he should have been paying your way! Sounds like a tightwad yikes, you dodged a bullet
Why wasn't he paying??
Why were you paying?
Yeah, that’s me. I’m the reclusive and he’s the social butterfly. It doesn’t mean that I don’t get along well with people. I just value establishing more solid and non-superficial connections (hard nut to crack here)… When I’m at his place, oftentimes, he would ask if he could go out with friends and that’s okay for me. I have things I do while he’s away. What matters to me is at the end of the day, he comes back. And he also supports and encourages me when I need a few moments to be alone when I make little projects at his place… But still… we have a huge hurdle to get through - he likes me very much the same as I like him. He gets jealous every now and then (a “healthy” amount), makes me feel desired and wanted… He is just not “ready” or “looking for a relationship” at the moment… This will be a topic for us to sit through and discuss honestly.
You certainly should discuss this. The part that is concerning is “not ready.“ There are underlying factors way beyond time at hand. If you can get to his fears and concerns about being in a relationship, and truly unearthed the root cause of these hesitancies, you might be able to progress this forward.
@@SusanWinter thank you! We talked over the phone last Friday and he told me why he was not looking for a “relationship” at the moment. He feels constrained and that somehow he is losing freedom when in relationships. We haven’t met over the weekend when we normally do. But the next time we meet, I would like to talk face to face and observe his body language while he anawers my questions. The main ones: 1.What does this thing we’re doing mean to you if you are not looking for a relationship? 2.How can a blossoming relationship help you loosen up, not make you feel restrained, and help you grow as a person? I’ll break these serious convos into smaller “intimate sessions” so he doesn’t feel too bombarded and overwhelmed.
@@danepinar3506 I hope you were able to clarify the situation. A social butterfly stating they prioritize their freedom over any relationship, be sure they like attention and more outside too, can't be trusted. I've seen too many men in relationships and acting single on the outside when they're alone
I haven’t commented before but I have been going through a very stressful / confusing situation over the last 2 months and your videos have really helped me with advice and more importantly self growth. I’m still stuck in the same situation but what I’ve come to realize is that when in a battle you can only control your own soldiers. I don’t mean that in a confrontational way so I hope you understand what I mean. I know things won’t workout the way I want but you’ve helped give me strength to get through that. Thank you 💜
The biggest red flag is how you feel with the other person or in the relationship (but learn to separate what is yours and what is someone else's problem)..
Love your tiger print chaise and leopard pillows!! Thanks for this video ❤
Glad you like them!
We have to face reality. Dating to find true love is extremely difficult. Modern day women have to many options
All great points. The lifestyle should be able to find out quickly by asking questions. The qualities this person has might take a little time as I have found people are on their best behavior initially.
That truly is the key. There are certain clues you can determine by their lifestyle and high level choices
What happens when it feels like you knew the answers to these questions but now that you are living together it seems like the lifestyle portion has changed and you aren't quite sure how you feel about that but you can't imagine not being with them?
Relationships will evolve, so it is very important to be open about how certain things make you feel if you feel that it is hindering the relationship or your quality of life.
Thank you Susan. I don't know how you tolerate me at times. I really appreciate it 🙏
I wish I saw your page years ago. But nevertheless, I'm glad I found you. So far, so good. Thank you. ❤
You strike the perfect balance of elegant and down to earth 🌍 yes, I think that's what it is. I could listen to you all day ❤
Much love from the UK ♥️
Much love back to you from sunny Arizona!
Susan you look like a Goddess in the color blue.
Thank you! I just got this top and fell in love with the color!
Great, great video!! Very helpful logical information and help!! Thank you. If only we would accept it as real truth and stop saying, but he’s so hot!!! Grown up decisions instead of naive fantasy!!
Great video and helpful tips! You’re also such a cutie! 😊
❤thanks Susan
Thank you for watching!
Thank you Susan, great advice.
Any time!
Exactly what I needed
Thanks for watching!
@@SusanWinter I’m rather trapped in a situation in which my ex is trying to get back with me and I’ve also been talking with another girl that she knows, I still am unsure what to do, it’s a bit of a love triangle
@@SusanWinter I’m rather trapped in a situation in which my ex is trying to get back with me and I’ve also been talking with another girl that she knows, I still am unsure what to do, it’s a bit of a love triangle
@@PJD-ol5fc do you believe in your heart of hearts and in your experience that your ex is capable of overcoming the issues that made them an ex? If so, it’s worth putting a hard line down to get those sorted. Proof is in the actions and behavior. But honestly, if you are unsettled about whether to move on from your ex, it’s a little unfair to bring in a new person until you’ve cleared that in your mind. You could do that in your own time really sorting out your feelings and figuring out if your ex is worth the exploration. Or you could simply leap forward and be done with the past. The call is yours.
@@SusanWinter thank you so much!
Is there a way I can book a session? I have some specific questions about my current relationship.
Absolutely! Please visit the consultation page on my website www.susanewinter.net
Thanks sooooo much ❤
Thankful for your channel, very good insight ❤.
Odd hours as of late. Hate missing your lives. Hugs to Nikka 🐶
Hi Jean P! I know and I'm so sorry. I'm learning how to do SEO. It took 2 1/2 hours to fill out this video properly. (Jonathan would be very proud of me.) huge improvement because last Tuesday's video took me six hours. It's quite a bit of business if you're trying to find a good title that explains what the viewer will be seeing without making it cheesy Clickbait.
@@SusanWinter misunderstood me. My hours have been odd lately. Up til 4 am EST and out cold during normal daylight hours. However, I do understand. I have a separate unrelated YT account/channel and I agree, it is difficult at times. No worries… You’re doing great as always! 🫵🪨💯
I am usually bored which evolves to irritated. They mostly data dump and never engage in a back and forth. I usually walk away knowing more about their neighbors dog than they know about me. 😅
I had to cackle😅😅. They r not ur person. When u meet your person, the conversations will make sense
He's shorter than me but he has great qualities I desire.
I'm being shallow but I don't want a man shorter than me😢
Maybe take a bit more time to get to know him! Attraction can come in many forms.
I can’t imagine rejecting a good man for this reason. I hope you got over this and grew up x
Theres nothing to date lol 😆 i love it
❤❤❤❤
Thanks for watching