Shouted from the crowd: "I'm not going to be in a Van down by the river, I'm an English major!" Matt Foley: "Well, well, we've got ourselves a Bill Shakespeare!"
@@asparrow9876 That J.K Rowling is one of the evilest people ever. Her fictional Harry Potter novels have push kids into using Witchcraft. In the Bible it states there is a place in the Lake of Fire for Sorcerer's. Evil, evil woman!
"Everyone has potential...and that potential is limited ONLY by social status, class, education, human prejudice, laws of physics, financial constraints, time and space, basic economic principles, and the whims of people more poweful than you." From The Blatantly Obvious a The Secret Parody (a video and book promoted by Oprah).
Don't forget constraints from biology & genetics. After all, *the* most important time in anyone's life is the first 9 months. Nevermind a bacteria, virus or accident can utterly destroy your entire existence.
@Manny Santiago Hey, thanks for the info. I love Aaron Mate, & will def check out. Yup, *your first 3 months in utero is THE most important time in your life* And none of us had ANYTHING to do with that. It's obvious, but always ignored. Basic things like gender, race & sexuality, are all determined before birth. Who you are born to, along with where & when you were born, determines almost everything in your life. Again, none of us had any control over this. The science is quite clear about these very basic concepts (and I'm not even delving deeper into the biology, such as the effects of intra-uterine nutrition on fetal development). But the US has become quite scientifically illiterate. We ignore overwhelming scientific evidence when it doesn't fit the narrative. So everyone thinks we all begin at the same starting place at birth. Thus, those who work hard and make smart choices will be healthy, wealthy & wise. Otherwise, it's your fault. It's *The Great American Lie* Don't believe it! The fact is, you *CANNOT* be ANYTHING you want to be, no matter how hard you work. For instance, Oprah could never, ever, ever be a pro quarterback. And Trump could never be a mother. We need to end this insidious lie.
Billionaires always have magical ideas that they say will work for everyone. And nobody can tell you otherwise because you’re rich, and nobody who made a lot of money has ever been wrong about anything, right? For example the guy on Joe Rogan recently who said basically that capitalism is perfect and should never be changed at all because all socialistic ideas for citizens are super evil...
@@martinaee Billionaires are billionaires for a reason, either they worked at it like "a Steve Jobs" or " a "Warren Buffett" Advice from billionaire winners should be taken in realistic terms in regards to overall success, this could be anything from general family success to doing what you love as a career, not simply to become a "billionaire" although it may lead to a robust financial income (and happy life)
Oh god you liberals are so fucking pathetic. Oprah was incredibly poor growing up and a victim of rape. If anyone should be poor it should be her but she worked her way to the top and deserves to be where she is. What special privileges did oprah have that none of these student do?
@@ontologicallysteve7765 So... you were there with Oprah, day to day, through all of her struggles and rise to fame and can tell us that not once did Oprah ever put into practice the positive affirmations that she tells other people to use?
That is because the standards have sunk there. When you are being stupid you can only keep up the academic charade for so long, eventually vapid celebrities are all you can muster for support.
Celebrities not in touch with us Americans is surprising?! Not to me in the least. I listen to them as much as I do the Mainstream News media 📺 Not at All.
My uniqueness must be broken after all the choppy water. All I hear from these commencements is “You’re basically finished, so get in line to pamper me even better with whatever’s left of your youthful exuberance... oh, and don’t forget you live to pay my deferred taxes.”
Oprah has never spoken publicly about Bill Cosby, but I’m old enough to remember how their fame in the 1980’s fed of of each other. Yet no one in the media has even asked her a question regarding Cosby. The lease correct me if I’m wrong.
Nobody in the media ever talks about anything bad that some big Hollywood celebrity does so long as they are politically left... now I wonder why that is.
Commencement ceremonies full of platitudes or cliches and sitting through a graduation of some-odd hundred students is exactly why I skipped the ceremony and went right to celebrating.
I still vividly remember how boring and difficult to sit through the commencement address was when I was done with college. It was former senator Bill Bradley’s wife. I remember saying it would have been better to just have some mayor or something do it. It was really pathetic and insulting.
@@richardbarry04553 Ugh. You aren't kidding. And I bet everyone spoke with that monotone voice with long pauses in between. Then you have someone that occasionally throws a joke in there, which is hit or miss depending on their execution. The biggest slap to the face is how much they charge you for a one-time use cap and gown plus whatever charge they want to throw at you, just so your family can watch you sit and listen to a bunch of speeches. I went to Temple, which is a huge university with a bunch of graduates, so no way in hell was I going to sit through all of those names.
CONGRATULATIONS: All you Future ASSISTANT MANAGERS at Applebbees, CVS, WALMART, and other famour corporate chain Stores. And for those who don't make it,... STARBUCKS is always hiring.
Even without debt and trying my best to land a good job, the system is BS. I’ve been looking for new ways to get hired and find experts, but I sure wish I was one of those successful dropouts. College isn’t for everyone (not is marriage or parenting), but the corporate world requires more education for not doing more work. It’s a big money making scheme.
@sk0sH I think that you're thinking of Secular Talk, he has around 678k subscribers. Jimmy and Sam Seder have been going neck and neck with subscribers for a while, being only a few thousand people off from each other. For a while Jimmy was ahead of Seder, now Seder has a few thousand more. Personally I like Jimmy's channel way more.
@sk0sH I agree. Some people are getting demonetized over some pretty absurd reasons. Uploaders have to censor so much in their videos just because of the guidelines.
Oh God the worst is when someone says since college graduations happen extremely close to Mother's Day, "No one could think of a better gift for Mom than watching their child graduate on Mother's Day." Like.......shut up..............
There should be a reality show where out of touch celebrities live with and like, normal people and actually have to find their way out of the poverty they are shown. Like, they have the same money and job as the normal person and have to deal with everything around them and they are shown how POVERTY IS NOT A CHOICE AND YOU CAN'T JUST 'NOT BE POOR' OR JUST 'GET A BETTER JOB.'
If just one of those celebrities had said, "I'm supporting Bernie Sanders, and fighting for Free Public College Tuition, and ending Student Loan Debt!" They would have brought the house down, and all those graduates would have been on their feet in major applause!
The mill of capitalism. So sad. I’m ready to pull my 13 year-old out of school. “Look under your seats”, says Oprah. ‘There’s a mountain of student debt.” ‘Goodbye and good luck”. The head of Apple gives a commencement lisp. Dr. Ken Jeong has never been funny.
@@HailNihilism The federal loans used to be ~ 3% fixed interest (in the 70s & 80s). It was possible to actually pay off your loans. But Reagan, Bush, Clinton and their banksters ended all that. They turned education into a luxury for the rich and enslavement for the poor. They could change this in a second. But no. They prefer making money off our kids hopes and dreams. What selfish, small thinkers they all are.
@@Lchristyhastings And Obama, who day one amnestied all banksters. To end crushing usury against the new generation of college students is now impracticably fanciful "pixie dust."
Jimmy, you got your WSJ subscription more than a year ago (IIRC) to see some story. I happened to rewatch the video you mentioned it in a few days ago.
This makes me so grateful! The speaker at my son's graduation was actor Daryl Mitchell who was paralyzed in an accident in 2001. His speech was the best I've ever heard in my life. So inspirational and heartfelt. These are awful!
@@berryseinfeld6772 I legit get annoyed now by my friends worshipping celebrities. I don't blame them nor make fun of them because I truly get it. It takes a lot to take that veil away but once you see it, it literally disgusts you. It feels like you finally waking up to a stockholm episode and realizing you were being controlled this whole time. CA just reeks of pretentious nobodies with the intentions to gain power. We are the consumers and the buyers. I ain't buying anymore lol
Malorie right. I mean I still go see independent films and classic movie re-showings, but I can’t believe people care about the royal family baby or like a new Avengers movie. We’re living in an insanely fascinating time in history and I’d just legit rather watch TH-cam discussions.
Most people never get past act one. For the lucky few who get to act two and have letters after their name, they don't get much further than that and often end back up at act 1, serving coffee in starbucks. Welcome to capitalism.
Ah, the truth. Not a big seller at commencements. Never let evidence get in the way of pretty platitudes about chasing a myth with rugged individualism. Such a lovely commencement to their dreams being destroyed by a rigged system.
@@jareddinwiddie2332 I would not know what the statistic is without getting out my calculator, but off the top of my head and informed by the data I have, If it was anything smaller than 1 in 50,000 students I would be most surprised.
@@jareddinwiddie2332 I am reminded of the comment in a written interview I read many years ago from the Koch brothers of how to become a billionaire, one of them said that's easy, go to school, work hard, and inherit $400 million from your father.
YES Tim Cook, don't waste time on problems that have been solved. Invent new problems like sticky keys on keyboards and then deny you ever did it. Waste of space goof!
He is what you should expect. Cook didn't get where he is today through innovation, creativity, and know-how. He got where he is today though being a good enough corporate stooge to work his way up to the top of the corporate ladder. Jobs was the only guy with innovation who had any ability at running that company. Now they are just yet another corporate giant being run by big corporate types.
Yet another brainwashed millenial that thinks billionares sit around smoking cigars and getting back massages. Most of them sleep 4 hours a night and work insane hour people couldnt handle without a mental breakdown.
@@mrjohnnyk you're crazy if you think all it takes to remain succesful is hire people. Not to mention the decades of working nonstop for almost no pay to even get to a point of being able to delegate responsibilities. 62% of Americas billionares are self made. So tired of you whiney pseudo nihilist crybabies who think the worlds unfair because you cant start a family on minimum wage.
Welcome to sociopath class 101. I'm your teacher, TheAuspicious! Always agree with the majority and mainstream narrative even if they are wrong. Don't ever rock the boat and stand for something like morality, order, justice and equality cuz your "superiors" will feel threatened by you. Lick as many boots upwards and do their bidding like a good little tool and don't ever disagree with someone who outranks you. Get the people "beneath" you to like you and trust you even if you don't like them so you can use or backstab them when the time comes cuz this is all about you. Collectivism is so out of fashion, people only respect money and power so if you have this thing called a conscience, get rid of it ASAP cuz it'll get you nowhere in this materialist society. Any questions?
Oprah came from a poor family in the oppressed south and became rich because of her compassionate nature. Its not just "Hey she's rich, therefor greedy and out of touch" Being rich is not the problem, its what they do with the riches and how they get that way.
Keep up the good work Jimmy. You’re the only media commentator that is truly fair and balanced. I’m a conservative but I can see where you’re coming and can relate to it.
YOU! Are what you are... You don't want praise, You don't want pity You bang your own drum ! Some will think it's noise, but others, they will think it's pretty And so what if you love each sparkle and each bangle . So long as you always try to see things from a different angle Because dear students, your life is a sham Till you can shout out you are what you are. ^ This was a totally authentic non plagiarised commencement speech. Honest.
Even when the bills for your exorbitant tuition comes due....remember things are always working out for you. And take solace in knowing that part of that bill includes oprahs fee
I listened to Jeff Bridges give a commencement speech last month. He said "remember any news caster you see on TV, he is looking into the camera and lying to you." It was awesome.
It's funny university used to be where revolution, or at least radical reform, was fomented. Now it's about how to survive on loans and promises until that "dream job" opens up at McDonalds. I genuinely feel sad for those kids.
2:48 first time Jimmy has showed the crowd. Well done, sir.
5 ปีที่แล้ว +3
They are so disconnected that they think they are connected. It's disgusting. And these are the people who think they have the moral authority to tell everyone what to think, say and how to vote. These are the folks who live in gated communities but are totally cool with caravan after caravan, as long as *their kids* don't have to go to school with the illegals. Rules for us, not them.
Oprah - Say it “everything is working out for *me* “.
Crowd - “Everything is working out for you”.
Ha ha ha brilliant.
Dos Wheels Яouges that’s what I though she meant 😂
Hahahahaha 🤣😂
😂😂😂😓
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Oprah: "Maybe I should run for President"
Trump: "I know Oprah's weakness"
Oprah: "I'm out"
Oprah has really gotten beyond obnoxious. They're all bad but, she had the most awful.
I know right and a brack at dat !
Heard Oprah missed her dogs a few years ago when she was in Maui so she sent her private jet to Chicago to pick them up.
She's *always* been obnoxious…
Viola---'OWN' it! Did she mean 'Oprah Winfrey Network'? Anyway, was that at a church or graduation? Lol
M.S. , so true! Even for the dumb-down , politically -correct , 80 per-centers , she is a poor choice.
"You'll be living in a van, down by the river!"
-Matt Foley
Shouted from the crowd: "I'm not going to be in a Van down by the river, I'm an English major!"
Matt Foley: "Well, well, we've got ourselves a Bill Shakespeare!"
Too bad Chris Farley isn’t around to give THAT commencement speech!
@@docwells7 First thing they do, is cull all the Shakespeares.
Chris Farley
You get some debt! And you get some debt! And u get some debt!!!
Yes. The Country's Debtfrastructure Industrial Complex Kingdom depends on it.
Debt All The Things!
Degree in Fast food! Wow! Only take thirty years to pay the loan,then you can move out of the cardboard box in the park, and rent a hovel.
The trillion dollar Student Loan debt Crisis
*Some?*
"Look up to the sky because the ground sucks."
That is oddly inspiring.
particularly if you're caught in quicksand
kung futzu - You should write stuff for Jimmy! It’s clever
👍🏼
😂😂😂😂😂
@@OMGAnotherday thank you :D
hahaha
kung futzu - Credit where credit is due.
👍🏼✊🏼✌️🌅
Jimmy's commencement speech would end up turning students into the new Yellow Vests.
- with matching poodle do's just like Oprah's..!
Statutory Grape 😂😂😂😂
Statutory Grape - Clever 👍🏼✊🏼✌️🌅
LOL... Absolutely
That's true at least he wouldn't be feeding them a bunch of empty platitudes
Obviously, entertainers who pretend to be imaginary people all day long would be the best choice to speak in these forums.
These people are successful, so yeah. The whole commencement speech tradition is stupid no matter who gives it.
Everything is working out for us 1 percenters. Everything is working out for us 1 percenters.
i bet she can't even hear the hum of her private jet's engines over that very special mantra
@@daltonbedore8396 hahha. Probably given to her by Marianne Williamson, her new age cult leader who's running for president.
Seems like the left's new mantra is "fix it till its broke"
Being rich is just a title if you really believe that exekution would change something you are delusional
@@LANCEtheBOIL The depths of your delusion knows no bounds
When standing in line for food stamps think "Everything is always working out for me!"
It's your fault you are on food stamps pussy.
Thank god you fought for food stamps as hard as the rich fight for corporate wealfare
@@letsomethingshine how does it feel to go through life blaming other people for your own mediocrity?
Everything is working out for You, Dont Complain. Dont Raise My Taxes!!!
Taxing Oprah won't make poor people rich. Budgeting and knowledge of compound interest might though
Apple dude: "I can sail my battleship through choppy seas. What? All you have is a canoe? You can do it too! You'll be perfectly fine!"
She should have paid off their debt
I generally disagree with bailing people out.... but whatever; oprah good afford it.
@@asparrow9876 get your fucking mommy issues outta here, little prick
@@asparrow9876 That J.K Rowling is one of the evilest people ever. Her fictional Harry Potter novels have push kids into using Witchcraft. In the Bible it states there is a place in the Lake of Fire for Sorcerer's. Evil, evil woman!
Not a JK Rowling fan, but mmmaaannn did this thread get fucking weird.
@@paulcarmi8130 I bet you're fucking pissed that we bailed out for profit corporate banks after they crashed the economy then... right?
"Everyone has potential...and that potential is limited ONLY by social status, class, education, human prejudice, laws of physics, financial constraints, time and space, basic economic principles, and the whims of people more poweful than you."
From The Blatantly Obvious a The Secret Parody (a video and book promoted by Oprah).
Don't forget constraints from biology & genetics. After all, *the* most important time in anyone's life is the first 9 months. Nevermind a bacteria, virus or accident can utterly destroy your entire existence.
@Manny Santiago
Hey, thanks for the info. I love Aaron Mate, & will def check out.
Yup, *your first 3 months in utero is THE most important time in your life* And none of us had ANYTHING to do with that.
It's obvious, but always ignored. Basic things like gender, race & sexuality, are all determined before birth. Who you are born to, along with where & when you were born, determines almost everything in your life. Again, none of us had any control over this.
The science is quite clear about these very basic concepts (and I'm not even delving deeper into the biology, such as the effects of intra-uterine nutrition on fetal development).
But the US has become quite scientifically illiterate. We ignore overwhelming scientific evidence when it doesn't fit the narrative.
So everyone thinks we all begin at the same starting place at birth. Thus, those who work hard and make smart choices will be healthy, wealthy & wise. Otherwise, it's your fault.
It's *The Great American Lie*
Don't believe it!
The fact is, you *CANNOT* be ANYTHING you want to be, no matter how hard you work.
For instance, Oprah could never, ever, ever be a pro quarterback. And Trump could never be a mother.
We need to end this insidious lie.
This is the quality comedy content I come here for.
@Ken Nuppenau Look at you comin'' in hot! Talk about angry...
@Ken Nuppenau These ain't Hillary supporters. That can only be a positive. A sane opposition.
@Ken Nuppenau
Agreed.
I dont like Oprah, but she's everything communists hate, lol. 😂
Everything is working out for the 1% Oprah!
Magical Thinking...by a billionaire....
Billionaires always have magical ideas that they say will work for everyone. And nobody can tell you otherwise because you’re rich, and nobody who made a lot of money has ever been wrong about anything, right? For example the guy on Joe Rogan recently who said basically that capitalism is perfect and should never be changed at all because all socialistic ideas for citizens are super evil...
@@martinaee Billionaires are billionaires for a reason, either they worked at it like "a Steve Jobs" or " a "Warren Buffett" Advice from billionaire winners should be taken in realistic terms in regards to overall success, this could be anything from general family success to doing what you love as a career, not simply to become a "billionaire" although it may lead to a robust financial income (and happy life)
Oh god you liberals are so fucking pathetic. Oprah was incredibly poor growing up and a victim of rape. If anyone should be poor it should be her but she worked her way to the top and deserves to be where she is. What special privileges did oprah have that none of these student do?
A billionaire who *didn't* get where she's presently at by putting into practice the immutable horseshit she's projecting upon others.
@@ontologicallysteve7765
So... you were there with Oprah, day to day, through all of her struggles and rise to fame and can tell us that not once did Oprah ever put into practice the positive affirmations that she tells other people to use?
4:08 Someone should ask Ken, "what if we don't want to be a self deprecating Asian caricature when we grow up? "
Shots fired lol
Abe Nyayapathi “yeah, but did he dieeeee”?
@Ken Nuppenau please elaborate
@Ken Nuppenau Sure. Why am I jealous and bitter and a cuck? That's what elaborate means, give an explanation to your claims
@@abenyayapathi1083 you have to define jealous and bitter for the short bus window licker
Such a parade... Kinda sad how much of a superficial show everything seems to be in the US...
@Kalida, you are so right. So shallow.
Kalida Oprah Winfrey was a major proponent of superficial pop spirituality throughout the 1990s and far too many Americans followed her lead.
It sucks people try and follow the wave they end up as sheep being herded rather than free thinking people
Most human beings are superficial on various levels.
@@theTruthSeekerishere only if they're taught or forced that way. I think education is key to help humanity develop its potential.
I say that to Oprah all the time "Everything is always working out for YOU."
She has a unique talent that people bought into, I'm as anti Oprah as the next person but you have no talent.
A gang of insults disguised as advice.
Apparently, actors are now the new academic elite. Damn, is there anything celebrities can't do?
That is because the standards have sunk there. When you are being stupid you can only keep up the academic charade for so long, eventually vapid celebrities are all you can muster for support.
Yes with a select vocabulary and friends like Epstein
Be sincere
Enter heaven?
Celebrities not in touch with us Americans is surprising?! Not to me in the least. I listen to them as much as I do the Mainstream News media 📺 Not at All.
cj p not to mention all the late night parties, drugs and casual sex
I'd like to know how much these universities ponied up for their commencement 'guests'.
teddy G How much of your student loans cover the guests fees?
I guess it's the other way around. They buy a building, get their names in stone, and get to play inspirational
Much more 💰 than you’ll ever see in your entire life.
I could write a fanfiction more believable than those celebs!
You are 20 minutes from being slapped with reality.
Hilarious!!! LMAO!!!
Embraces your Student Debt!..Lol.
Jimmy needs to do high school commencement speeches, before they all go off to debtor's island... I mean, college.
Jimmy on fire! Abby with the assist!
It's nice to see Abby laughing for a change.
it is nice to see abby
My uniqueness must be broken after all the choppy water. All I hear from these commencements is “You’re basically finished, so get in line to pamper me even better with whatever’s left of your youthful exuberance... oh, and don’t forget you live to pay my deferred taxes.”
What they really need is for people to tell these kids the truth...
"Listen kids... This is the best it's ever going to get for you."
Oprah has never spoken publicly about Bill Cosby, but I’m old enough to remember how their fame in the 1980’s fed of of each other.
Yet no one in the media has even asked her a question regarding Cosby.
The lease correct me if I’m wrong.
Nobody in the media ever talks about anything bad that some big Hollywood celebrity does so long as they are politically left... now I wonder why that is.
Im sure she blew Cosby to get to where she's at today.
John Klise They’re not politically left though, they are NeoLiberal centrists
@@mikemiller442 she has no memory of that lol
@@avinashreji60 "NeoLiberal centrists" = new conflation of the word "fascist."
Commencement ceremonies full of platitudes or cliches and sitting through a graduation of some-odd hundred students is exactly why I skipped the ceremony and went right to celebrating.
The commencement ceremony guest dolts would make an ardent pacifist reach for the nearest AK-47.
I still vividly remember how boring and difficult to sit through the commencement address was when I was done with college. It was former senator Bill Bradley’s wife. I remember saying it would have been better to just have some mayor or something do it. It was really pathetic and insulting.
@@richardbarry04553 Ugh. You aren't kidding. And I bet everyone spoke with that monotone voice with long pauses in between. Then you have someone that occasionally throws a joke in there, which is hit or miss depending on their execution. The biggest slap to the face is how much they charge you for a one-time use cap and gown plus whatever charge they want to throw at you, just so your family can watch you sit and listen to a bunch of speeches.
I went to Temple, which is a huge university with a bunch of graduates, so no way in hell was I going to sit through all of those names.
CONGRATULATIONS: All you Future ASSISTANT MANAGERS at Applebbees, CVS, WALMART, and other famour corporate chain Stores. And for those who don't make it,... STARBUCKS is always hiring.
Love your work Jimmy+Jimmy Dore Fam
"You need to look to the sky. The ground sucks!" 🤣😂
Meme profanity is the first refuge of the diction challenged. P.S. See no chemtrails ... .
Also Indiana and Wisconsin don't fall into Lake Michigan because Illinois sucks!
Makes me sick. People with masters are my employees and drop outs are billionaires
Jeff Garbarek
Exactly
Even without debt and trying my best to land a good job, the system is BS. I’ve been looking for new ways to get hired and find experts, but I sure wish I was one of those successful dropouts. College isn’t for everyone (not is marriage or parenting), but the corporate world requires more education for not doing more work. It’s a big money making scheme.
What are their Master's in, and what is your business in?
"You are all individuals."
"We are all individuals"
"I'm not"
Co "Life of Brian"
Best joke ever performed.
Every week, you are gaining another ONE THOUSAND subscribers, give or take. Keep it up, Jimmy!
Working class poeple pay the taxes
It used to be more than that actually, but it has slowed since adpocalypse 3.0
@sk0sH I think that you're thinking of Secular Talk, he has around 678k subscribers. Jimmy and Sam Seder have been going neck and neck with subscribers for a while, being only a few thousand people off from each other. For a while Jimmy was ahead of Seder, now Seder has a few thousand more. Personally I like Jimmy's channel way more.
@sk0sH I agree. Some people are getting demonetized over some pretty absurd reasons. Uploaders have to censor so much in their videos just because of the guidelines.
True Dat! I've been keeping tabs on it. Shows you how many people are finally waking up!
$30/month for WSJ - What? FOR WHAT?!!! - lol
I can misinform you for free.
Lol Abby's on fire with the zingers.
and her lines weren't written by someone else!
I must have spaced out, she had one generic sexual reference about Ken and Zach Kaf is all I recall, Pepi I thought was more clever.
Admit it. You think Abby is hot. Agreed.
Haha She may be, but like soda pop, hot and funny just don't mix.
@@dewittstr8laces84 you forgot smart also
Oh God the worst is when someone says since college graduations happen extremely close to Mother's Day, "No one could think of a better gift for Mom than watching their child graduate on Mother's Day." Like.......shut up..............
There should be a reality show where out of touch celebrities live with and like, normal people and actually have to find their way out of the poverty they are shown. Like, they have the same money and job as the normal person and have to deal with everything around them and they are shown how POVERTY IS NOT A CHOICE AND YOU CAN'T JUST 'NOT BE POOR' OR JUST 'GET A BETTER JOB.'
Denzel Washington has the absolute best graduation speech.
I wish I was so rich to not notice a $30/mo payment.
It happened to me with Amazon Prime. I didn't even know I subscribed and got charged for 6 freakin months and I didn't even use it.
@@ironmantis25 I need to manage my bank account weekly to avoid going negative, because evil banks like to charge poor people extra.
You are a deadbeat.
Charlie Chuckleberry dumbest comment award
Steve Jobs: "First break all the rules."
School-of-Hard-Knocks: "First be a genius, then break some of the rules."
Brilliant
First break all the rules. Then spend your life behind bars writing books about not breaking rules 😂.
Steve Jobs, genius? Wow.
As they are paid over 100k+ for those speeches.
@Janet Baker Adding to the graduates' debt burden.
“You are your own thing! You need to look to the sky! The ground sucks!” lol
The most real and honest commencement speech ever was the one from David Foster Wallace
If just one of those celebrities had said, "I'm supporting Bernie Sanders, and fighting for Free Public College Tuition, and ending Student Loan Debt!" They would have brought the house down, and all those graduates would have been on their feet in major applause!
Celebrities only back corporate stooges like Biden
Until other people's money runs out and they can't pay for it anymore.
@@james-xf1ox doesn't stop the US funding Israel to the tune of 10 Million daily. So yeah..helping Americans = bad. 🙄
@@Getloose360 oh shit your a communist.
A Trump birthday card ad on a Jimmy Dore video is just fantastic. Love ya Jimmy
I got that, too, lol.
That's not authoritarian at all!
To the Class of 2050: "And as human extinction begins, remember to say, 'Everything is working out for me!'"
@Ken Nuppenau what is your view on eugenics?
@Ken Nuppenau 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol😂 thanks for the humor jimmy!!! It’s great to hear you take a humorous approach :-). It’s a breath of fresh air 🙏✨👌
Just discovered this show
Fuckn amazing
The mill of capitalism. So sad. I’m ready to pull my 13 year-old out of school.
“Look under your seats”, says Oprah. ‘There’s a mountain of student debt.”
‘Goodbye and good luck”.
The head of Apple gives a commencement lisp.
Dr. Ken Jeong has never been funny.
Listen to Tim Minchin's commencement address to cleanse the palate.
@@HailNihilism oh, no doubt it's a big racket.
@@HailNihilism The federal loans used to be ~ 3% fixed interest (in the 70s & 80s). It was possible to actually pay off your loans.
But Reagan, Bush, Clinton and their banksters ended all that.
They turned education into a luxury for the rich and enslavement for the poor.
They could change this in a second. But no. They prefer making money off our kids hopes and dreams.
What selfish, small thinkers they all are.
@@HailNihilism As to pay "brand name" professors like R.R. a quarter million dollars a semester to teach two courses.
@@Lchristyhastings And Obama, who day one amnestied all banksters. To end crushing usury against the new generation of college students is now impracticably fanciful "pixie dust."
Jimmy, you got your WSJ subscription more than a year ago (IIRC) to see some story. I happened to rewatch the video you mentioned it in a few days ago.
Jack Albrecht that’s hilarious that he forgot lol
All that weed he's smokin.
One of the best commencement speeches I have heard was by Tim Minchin. A brilliant musician, lyric and music writer , and comedian.
Absolutely, a classic. Should be here somewhere on youtube
Was thinking the exact same thing! Brilliant!
2nd best is Ali G. at Harvard. So funny.
7:02 Stand up if you're broken! ahahah..
Lady in the front row went with the flow and stood up 😁
Who was that? He’s hilarious.
This makes me so grateful! The speaker at my son's graduation was actor Daryl Mitchell who was paralyzed in an accident in 2001. His speech was the best I've ever heard in my life. So inspirational and heartfelt. These are awful!
After being red pilled I can't stand to hear any celebrity talk about anything.
Right? I feel the exact same way.
Malorie especially after living in LA for a few years. You see who these people are in their inception. Empty vessels.
@@berryseinfeld6772 I legit get annoyed now by my friends worshipping celebrities. I don't blame them nor make fun of them because I truly get it. It takes a lot to take that veil away but once you see it, it literally disgusts you. It feels like you finally waking up to a stockholm episode and realizing you were being controlled this whole time.
CA just reeks of pretentious nobodies with the intentions to gain power. We are the consumers and the buyers. I ain't buying anymore lol
Malorie right. I mean I still go see independent films and classic movie re-showings, but I can’t believe people care about the royal family baby or like a new Avengers movie. We’re living in an insanely fascinating time in history and I’d just legit rather watch TH-cam discussions.
@@berryseinfeld6772 yessss! 100%!
"you need to look to the sky, the ground sucks!" in tears laughing!
My friends dad, "Alright fuckos... you're in charge of your OWN destiny now. Can't blame us no more!" True and hysterically good advice!
diane bald we're not friends are we? As that sounds like my dad.
@@waynetemplar2183 Those crusty assholes have knowledge!
"May your hats fly as high as your dreams." -Michael Scott 🙂
Most people never get past act one. For the lucky few who get to act two and have letters after their name, they don't get much further than that and often end back up at act 1, serving coffee in starbucks.
Welcome to capitalism.
Ah, the truth.
Not a big seller at commencements. Never let evidence get in the way of pretty platitudes about chasing a myth with rugged individualism. Such a lovely commencement to their dreams being destroyed by a rigged system.
No one can make it to the 1%?
@@jareddinwiddie2332 I would not know what the statistic is without getting out my calculator, but off the top of my head and informed by the data I have, If it was anything smaller than 1 in 50,000 students I would be most surprised.
@@Nine-Signs most top 1%ers dropped out or didn't have a college degree. Shows how much that piece of paper is worth.
@@jareddinwiddie2332 I am reminded of the comment in a written interview I read many years ago from the Koch brothers of how to become a billionaire, one of them said that's easy, go to school, work hard, and inherit $400 million from your father.
Damnit Jimmy, you're just too awesome, you always make me laugh, while spilling the truth.
Here's my commencement speech: "How now, brown cow?"
YES Tim Cook, don't waste time on problems that have been solved. Invent new problems like sticky keys on keyboards and then deny you ever did it. Waste of space goof!
He is what you should expect. Cook didn't get where he is today through innovation, creativity, and know-how. He got where he is today though being a good enough corporate stooge to work his way up to the top of the corporate ladder. Jobs was the only guy with innovation who had any ability at running that company. Now they are just yet another corporate giant being run by big corporate types.
You get a worthless mantra! And you get a worthless mantra. Everyone's getting a worthless mantra.
I want to hear a commencement speech start with, “Ask yourself, when did toilet paper become a major buying decision?
*"We can all be Billionaires!*
_I earned it through hard work._
_Keep working hard."_
- Billionaires Bullcrap Marketing Service
Yet another brainwashed millenial that thinks billionares sit around smoking cigars and getting back massages. Most of them sleep 4 hours a night and work insane hour people couldnt handle without a mental breakdown.
@@leetskeet4476 You're crazy if you think they don't hire teams of people to do most of their work for them.
@@mrjohnnyk you're crazy if you think all it takes to remain succesful is hire people. Not to mention the decades of working nonstop for almost no pay to even get to a point of being able to delegate responsibilities. 62% of Americas billionares are self made. So tired of you whiney pseudo nihilist crybabies who think the worlds unfair because you cant start a family on minimum wage.
Leet Skeet Remind me how the guys on Wall Street got their money?
@@avinashreji60 you're implying anyone who got rich on wall street got that way by cheating and stealing.. proves my point exactly..
I have to say that I have never really been a fan of comedy, but I truly enjoy The Jimmy Dore Show :D
I skipped my college graduation ceremony. Never regretted it for moment.
Me too
“everything is better for me”=everything has been a lie up to this point
"Intervention for her friend"!!!! Bwaaahaahahaaha!!
When did celebrities get creepy? They have always been self-involved narcissists, but somewhere along the way they got really sick.
Oprah could have paid everyone's student loans off in the audience.
Welcome to sociopath class 101. I'm your teacher, TheAuspicious! Always agree with the majority and mainstream narrative even if they are wrong. Don't ever rock the boat and stand for something like morality, order, justice and equality cuz your "superiors" will feel threatened by you. Lick as many boots upwards and do their bidding like a good little tool and don't ever disagree with someone who outranks you. Get the people "beneath" you to like you and trust you even if you don't like them so you can use or backstab them when the time comes cuz this is all about you. Collectivism is so out of fashion, people only respect money and power so if you have this thing called a conscience, get rid of it ASAP cuz it'll get you nowhere in this materialist society. Any questions?
Tim Cook looks just like my grandma
🤣🤣Love it!!🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Send my condolences to your grandma!
Oprah came from a poor family in the oppressed south and became rich because of her compassionate nature. Its not just "Hey she's rich, therefor greedy and out of touch" Being rich is not the problem, its what they do with the riches and how they get that way.
"Alright, that's enough of that shit"
Very excited to see Jimmy in Chicago next month 😀
Keep up the good work Jimmy. You’re the only media commentator that is truly fair and balanced. I’m a conservative but I can see where you’re coming and can relate to it.
Jimmy on Fire tonite! Thanks for the Laughs!
YOU!
Are what you are...
You don't want praise,
You don't want pity
You bang your own drum
!
Some will think it's noise, but others, they will think it's pretty
And so what if you love each sparkle
and each bangle
.
So long as you always try to see things from a different angle
Because dear students, your life is a sham
Till you can shout out
you are what you are.
^ This was a totally authentic non plagiarised commencement speech. Honest.
Congratulations! You graduated into hundreds of thousands of student debt and you will probably never see retirement! GREAT JOB! *pat on back*
Even when the bills for your exorbitant tuition comes due....remember things are always working out for you. And take solace in knowing that part of that bill includes oprahs fee
Those that live like gods cannot judge us mortals... YOU ARE THE MOST CORRUPT!!
Tim Cook, could have paid everyone's student loans off in the audience.
Why should he have to?
@@jareddinwiddie2332 I said he could have.
@@jareddinwiddie2332...I have a question.
Do humans have arms?
Yes, Oprah. Everything is always working out for you.
I love that. "Now repeat after me". And just silence from the crowd.
Why couldn't Brad Pitt front the Straight Pride parade?
I listened to Jeff Bridges give a commencement speech last month. He said "remember any news caster you see on TV, he is looking into the camera and lying to you."
It was awesome.
Jimmy and co. are on a roll today! I'd love to contrast with Mike Rowe.
This is gold! Thanks for the laughs.
Yes, pure comedic gold!
Id say " it must be nice to have everything working out for you"
It's funny university used to be where revolution, or at least radical reform, was fomented. Now it's about how to survive on loans and promises until that "dream job" opens up at McDonalds. I genuinely feel sad for those kids.
They are being cheated out of a true education 😡.
Spoon-fed bs.
Eat the Rich.
what sauce?
I’m getting “the ground sucks” tattooed on me now hahahahaha
So glad I found this show ‼️❣️‼️
2:48 first time Jimmy has showed the crowd. Well done, sir.
They are so disconnected that they think they are connected. It's disgusting.
And these are the people who think they have the moral authority to tell everyone what to think, say and how to vote.
These are the folks who live in gated communities but are totally cool with caravan after caravan, as long as *their kids* don't have to go to school with the illegals.
Rules for us, not them.
It is called entitlement