So in middle school, I had a ceramics class and one of the assignments was to make fruit-based salt and pepper shakers. I decided to make oranges but I hand-pinched them and they came out... realistically lumpy. I had unintentionally made prank shakers that looked so much like small oranges that had been left out too long that when my mom came to the school for one of those end of the year parent-teacher things she started to yell at me for leaving fruit to go bad in my class locker. I've shown them to people since and gotten similar reactions of revulsion. Accidental 10/10 prank item would craft again.
Or write one that is an introduction to one word, perhaps. Or The End. Just anything to make Simon frustrated. Terrible, I know, but keeping them in the basement like that all this time? And is ETA OK? Having heard from him-that voice their using is not him...
There are two pages left , Danny is there any story here at all? Simon never reads these ahead at all , Danny this is your next April fools prank just don’t let Simon read the comments.
Ha, one of my of my friends had a problem with a lunch thief in his office. Now don't do this at home because he almost got fired for it. He built a trap, it was a plastic lunch box, one of those Tupperware ones, except instead of a delicious sandwich, a sausage roll and a snack cake inside of the non transparent case, it had as many refitted party poppers with the streamers removed and replaced with the hottest chilli powder he could find rigged to an electric trigger. The lunch thief (turned out it was his manager) got blasted in the face with afore mentioned chilli power and had to take 3 days off untill his sight was passable again. Like I said, my friend just barely got away with it, he pulled up an article on his phone that stated the chilli power was a good way to mark clothing but didn't mention the absolute firestorm getting that stuff in your eyes was like. Since, HR and, for obvious reasons, his manager weren't able to stop the thefts, he said felt he had to take matters in to his own hands. The manager was pissed that his pay was docked for the total number of lunches he stole from my friend (about 50 in total, came to about £200) and my friend got transferred to another department, so his manager wouldn't retaliate. No one touched his lunches after that, newbies were warned to not take his food unless they wanted to be blinded. The office set up a camera on the staff fridge. Suddenly food theft wasn't as big of a problem anymore. It still happened, but HR would drop the hammer on it. My friend's stunt apparently resulted in a ton of paperwork they didn't want to do again.
That was absolutely brilliant. Good on him for finally catching the lunch theif. And glad he didn't lose his job. That's definitely a painful lesson learned by the manager.
I remember an older coworker telling me about a sandwich thief at work back in the 70s. This must have been going on for a while, because someone finally got pissed off enough that they took one slice of their sandwich, ran it across the window sill (and these are often nasty, covered with layers of dirt and dead flies) and put the sandwich back together. It disappeared as usual, and the problem never happened again! 😂
I had a co-worker whose husband kept getting his lunch stolen. She made a batch of brownies mixed with Ex-Lax. They found out who was stealing the lunches because he nearly shit himself to death. Never stole a lunch again though 😂😂
My mate kept having his penguin nicked from his butty box. This was back in the day when they were wrapped in paper and foil. After a few days of this, he decided enough was enough and "hooped" one wrapped it up, and packed it for work. Imagine his delight when it was missing come lunchtime.
Simon on Casual Criminalist: a sweet daddy, completely enamored of his daughter Simon on Brain Blaze: wants his daughter in the mines before age 12 and prefers she takes out loans for her uni than contribute to her higher education 🤣
I worked at a place where it was the boss who stole our food. Someone, sadly not me, got him back by putting some hot pepper jelly in what looked like a PB&J he spent the rest of the day in the bathroom and left our food alone for a while. The thing that bugged me the most was he was the boss he knew just how poor we all were.
Every place I have worked that has enough employees for lunch theft to actually be an issue has the lunch refrigerator under surveillance and usually there is a "no tolerance" lunch theft policy: you steal someone's lunch, you get fired on the spot.
One time I had forgotten a package of tortillas in the back of a cabinet and when I found them again, there was literally every color of the rainbow of mold growing on it. Fascinating but disgusting.
i once found a pack of unopened bacon in the back of the fridge, looked fine, then I saw the use-by was two years ago, took that shit outside and burned it on the bonfire in the garden, still stunk up the area!!! :S
One of my mom's husband was having just his dessert stolen from his lunch. So he found some very old dog poop (white) put some powdered sugar on it and placed it all in a plastic baggie. The dessert thief was caught by his screams of horror and never stole another dessert from anyone at that job....
Nah, good for his stock piled epsiodes, but it should end when it ends. Let the era of Business Blaze go out as it is name. In a blaze, and welcome in the era of Brain Blaze
I see it more as someone doing coke off the back of a Ripley's believe it or not book and then after all the coke has been done trying to read the book.
When I was working in a rather large office, I used to love really spicy food. I mean really spicy - I ordered the hottest chilli sauces from around the world and used them generously. No one ever touched my food twice.
Thats amazing. Whenever I bring a drink into the office I will make a point of drinking out of the bottle in front of people and then putting it back in the fridge.
I tend more towards WTF combos, like candied bacon and cookie butter sandwiches, or peanut butter and bologna. Pizza with bacon, pep, green olives, and pineapple.
I worked in an office with 1,000+ people and lunch theft was common. A coworker was tired of not having lunch because someone took it. They borrowed my Dave's Insanity Sauce and added it to some left over pizza. The pizza disappeared and they didn't have any issues their lunch disappearing again.
How about a normal lunchbox, with a note written on the lid, promising to give footage of any theft to both police and employer? You can back this up by putting an old, throw away smart phone into the box (make sure it's secured on top of the food, with camera facing the lid). Set the phone up with one of those free motion activated security camera apps (I like Alfred), and connect that sucker to wifi, so it automatically uploads footage of thieves to your personal account. Make sure you follow through on your promise if anyone dares steal from you.
My grandfather had the lunch thief issue at his firehouse… his solution was chocolate exlax laced cookies 🍪 witha BIG note DO NOT EAT … bastard ate the whole bag and EVERYONE knew who he was - problem solved with a touch of vengeance 😈
SAM! SAAAAM!! Thank you for once again making me CRY (from laughter, by adding those, once again EPIC memes, it's been a while since this high quality-level!!)!!!
"Probably not the boss"...we had the founder of the company steal a few euro microwave pizza from the fridge. Got caught on a camera across the room (kind of adjacent room, open kitchen type thing). Anyways. Sometimes it IS the boss. You don't get rich by splurging.
I don't even drink beer and I went there. Positive vibes from New Hampshire, remember to be kind to each other and yourself during this pandemic and social crisis
What is it with Brits & toast? Doesn't matter what the problem is, they're like, "Oh here, have a spot of tea!" You're dog died? "Tea!" Your mom killed it? "Tea and biscuits!" Your dad killed your mom after she killed the dog? "Oh bless. Let's get you some toast, dear."
I don't think the baby mop is a practical idea, but the expression on my partner's face when she saw me playing video games while the baby chased the robot vacuum around the room was priceless. The stupid robot vacuum was her idea, I think it's about as effective as the baby mop.
This is true. I worked in a grocery store years ago and the wealthier customers were often caught stealing, and the security cameras usually revealed past events of theft when pulled and reviewed. They would then act surprised that they would get in trouble for stealing a "mere" couple hundred dollars worth of goods. They also usually tried to blame another customer in the same aisle despite the cameras clearly showing them grab the item and placing it in their purse/pants/baby-hand-basket-thing. This isn't meant to throw shade at all well off people, but some of them are like that.
I'm not so sure on how ethical the baby mop really is, I mean, that whole dunking them in the mop-bucket bit... (aww... someone else did that joke, too)
The mother told me about her experiences of "the office thief", and everyone there was pissed off with them so much they'd plant bait foods in the fridge, like sandwiches made with mouldy bread, soups with a shittonne of salt, drinks with laxatives in, milk that had gone badly off put in an opaque plastic bottle, etc., and yet, it didn't deter the thief, so either they had an iron stomach, or they were devastating the crapper on a regular basis!!! :S
Children and chickens are good together...circle of life lessons and chickens eat ticks if you let them roam. Positive vibes from New Hampshire, remember to be kind to each other and yourself during this pandemic and social crisis
That fake moldy sandwich bag wouldn't work in the places I've worked. There's always some designated food police, who throws away any item they find suspect, without bothering to contact the owners.
There was a guy who would go out to his vehicle for lunch. Every time after lunch he came back drunk. No one knew how he was getting drunk. There were no bottles in his vehicle, and he never left. Upon closer inspection of his vehicle they found a rubber tube coming out of his air vent. What he did was use the coolant reservoir for his alcohol. Then ran the tube from the reservoir through the air duct and out the air vent.
Okayokay hear me out. Danny isn't in Simon's basement. Simon is actually in Danny's basement, being forced to read unreasonably long intros for wee morsels of food.
I had that problem with lunches. I put 3 condoms in my sandwich, emptied 1/4 bottle of ginger ale and pissed in it, and melted exlax on a chocolate dessert and put it in the company refrigerator. After that, no one took my lunch anymore.
Did they stop after biting into the condom sandwich, you think? Or rather they, feeling parched from the mouthful of latex and lube, continue by taking a nice big swig of Piss-Ale? Feeling themselves to be the lucky type, do you wonder if they thought they could still get away with the chocolate? That surely it couldn’t be tainted too? (You’re smarter than that though.) I like to imagine they shit their pants. After drinking piss. After eating condom. After stealing someone’s lunch. After being lucky.
I asserted my lunchroom dominance with nicely colored bags that I wrote my name on ... and then because that's never enough for some reason, the hottest hot sauce I could possibly find, hidden safely twixt meat and cheese so as not to eat through the bread ... and in copious quantity as to squirt out when pressure is applied. Sure, you go hungry the first couple of days, but the a**hole that steals your food quickly learns not to touch yours as he or she gets a squirt of insanely burning spicy sauce down their throat when they take a bite of your sandwich. And then it's safe to go back to making normal sandwiches that are actually edible. LOL
This can also be supplemented by his arm in a sling timeline. There’s no continuity with that one. Has arm in sling and explains injury in his first appearance in the sling. Then uninjured Simon for a few consecutive videos. And back to injured. Then the process repeats. The magic of prerecording and editing.
Here's the problem with that lil invention. If it gets wide enough brand recognition, then the sandwich bugler will know it's not real mold and gobble gobble
Green food dye works, just a few drops on a sandwich and in your milk and nobody would touch it. I think I only lost one sandwich after doing this and found it in the kitchen bin. Not bad after 23 years working in an office of 1400 staff.
I need a Sam to sprinkle in fine vintage memes IRL in my life wherever I go. I’ll just carry around an ipad and they just pop up at the appropriate times.
Are we just going to gloss over the fact that the company was called " Better Than Pants"? I want to know other than turning your infant into a swifter, what else is " better than pants "?
OH so while I'm here (came back because I forgot what the hell I was talking about), @ Ryan Cole, can verify; comfy shoes, everything hanging free, no pants.
Years ago, in my first office job I was troubled by people using the last of the milk and not replacing it. (It was a small office and the expectation was that when the carton was getting low, someone would go to the shop nearby and replace it.) Frustrated by continually finding no milk in the fridge when I wanted a coffee, in desperation, I bought a carton of milk and wrote "I spat in this" on the side of the container with a big sharpie. This worked perfectly for several days, as no one else was will to risk consuming the milk. Unfortunately, a few days later, I found a new message written on the carton, underneath my own... it read "So did I". TLDR - This is why communism never works.
When my dad was a miner, a powder monkey to be exact, his shift had an issue with lost lunches. So one dude ground a beer bottle into dust and put it in a sandwich. One guy went to the ER and lunches remained in the lunch box they were put in till the owner opened it. And when he was a firefighter he made laxative brownies to solve a similar problem.
How do you discretely drink from your tie, in the middle of a meeting? Who would want to walk around all day with the weight of a bladder hanging on their necks? Ouch!
I'm in a bit of a pickle. I can't determine if watching this channel is really helping maintain my sanity, or if it's causing me to slowly lose my mind. Either way, please send cocaine. That should help me decide.
I could live with 90% fewer memes in these videos, Danny is a powerhouse writer but the constant breaks to the same 6 memes in ad infinitum is starting to grate on me
@@aalhard it's the repetition that gets me and doesn't add anything how many times must we hear 'daddy chill' or 'wtf danny' they lost their charm and I avoid these memes now in other parts of my life because they are so overused and played out by the editor of this channel
Is it just me or is simon getting funnier with each video? “Is it crack?” I was laughing through the whole video…had to remind it a few times because I laughed so hard I couldn’t hear what Simon said.
My trick for keeping room-mates and co-workers from stealing my food. Was to put food colouring in my milk or some other food. I've never met a person who would drink, green milk, or blue-ish mustered. That is if they don't know the trick. (Just for shits and giggles, a fun revenge, is to piss in their apple juice.
4:02 Except for when people know it's a thing and so aren't put off by the packaging. Or don't know it's a thing dump your sandwich in the bin and then send a memo or go around the office looking for the clown that let their food go mouldy in the fridge.
the clear answer is to bring a decoy lunch and hide your real one. in the decoy you put something disgusting or spicy or that has like 20 laxatives. you can spook somoene out of taking lunches if you get them to bite something real bad
The real easiest way to keep your lunch from being stolen is to take something that can go 4-6 hours without refrigeration; then you can just keep it with you. There's a reason PB&J is so popular, and not just that it's cheap and tasty.
So in middle school, I had a ceramics class and one of the assignments was to make fruit-based salt and pepper shakers. I decided to make oranges but I hand-pinched them and they came out... realistically lumpy. I had unintentionally made prank shakers that looked so much like small oranges that had been left out too long that when my mom came to the school for one of those end of the year parent-teacher things she started to yell at me for leaving fruit to go bad in my class locker. I've shown them to people since and gotten similar reactions of revulsion. Accidental 10/10 prank item would craft again.
I herby challenge Danny to write a script that is all introduction.
Or write one that is an introduction to one word, perhaps. Or The End. Just anything to make Simon frustrated.
Terrible, I know, but keeping them in the basement like that all this time? And is ETA OK? Having heard from him-that voice their using is not him...
That's encouragement and indulgence, not a challenge
There are two pages left , Danny is there any story here at all?
Simon never reads these ahead at all ,
Danny this is your next April fools prank just don’t let Simon read the comments.
megamind moment yes danny
I second that notion.
All in favor say aye.
Aye
Ha, one of my of my friends had a problem with a lunch thief in his office. Now don't do this at home because he almost got fired for it. He built a trap, it was a plastic lunch box, one of those Tupperware ones, except instead of a delicious sandwich, a sausage roll and a snack cake inside of the non transparent case, it had as many refitted party poppers with the streamers removed and replaced with the hottest chilli powder he could find rigged to an electric trigger.
The lunch thief (turned out it was his manager) got blasted in the face with afore mentioned chilli power and had to take 3 days off untill his sight was passable again.
Like I said, my friend just barely got away with it, he pulled up an article on his phone that stated the chilli power was a good way to mark clothing but didn't mention the absolute firestorm getting that stuff in your eyes was like.
Since, HR and, for obvious reasons, his manager weren't able to stop the thefts, he said felt he had to take matters in to his own hands. The manager was pissed that his pay was docked for the total number of lunches he stole from my friend (about 50 in total, came to about £200) and my friend got transferred to another department, so his manager wouldn't retaliate.
No one touched his lunches after that, newbies were warned to not take his food unless they wanted to be blinded. The office set up a camera on the staff fridge. Suddenly food theft wasn't as big of a problem anymore. It still happened, but HR would drop the hammer on it. My friend's stunt apparently resulted in a ton of paperwork they didn't want to do again.
Legend
That was absolutely brilliant. Good on him for finally catching the lunch theif. And glad he didn't lose his job. That's definitely a painful lesson learned by the manager.
He’s the real MVP.
legend XD
Your friend is a fucking Legend!
I remember an older coworker telling me about a sandwich thief at work back in the 70s. This must have been going on for a while, because someone finally got pissed off enough that they took one slice of their sandwich, ran it across the window sill (and these are often nasty, covered with layers of dirt and dead flies) and put the sandwich back together. It disappeared as usual, and the problem never happened again! 😂
I had a co-worker whose husband kept getting his lunch stolen. She made a batch of brownies mixed with Ex-Lax. They found out who was stealing the lunches because he nearly shit himself to death. Never stole a lunch again though 😂😂
Ahh Poetic Justice is a beautiful thing.
My mate kept having his penguin nicked from his butty box. This was back in the day when they were wrapped in paper and foil. After a few days of this, he decided enough was enough and "hooped" one wrapped it up, and packed it for work. Imagine his delight when it was missing come lunchtime.
@@mickf9258 what?
In college, I would label my milk, "Biology Experiment, Do Not Drink".
"Bull Semen, drink at your own risk"
Simon on Casual Criminalist: a sweet daddy, completely enamored of his daughter
Simon on Brain Blaze: wants his daughter in the mines before age 12 and prefers she takes out loans for her uni than contribute to her higher education 🤣
Simon you should do a Brain Blaze video on the craziest TSA stories. Kind of like Florida-man meets TSA.
The TSA is the Florida-man of governmental organizations
TSA and Florida man crossover. Simon would approve
@@greenybird7132 idk the cia is up to some crazy shit
I worked at a place where it was the boss who stole our food. Someone, sadly not me, got him back by putting some hot pepper jelly in what looked like a PB&J he spent the rest of the day in the bathroom and left our food alone for a while.
The thing that bugged me the most was he was the boss he knew just how poor we all were.
😂 that guy telling the time he's not drunk gets me every time 😂
Every place I have worked that has enough employees for lunch theft to actually be an issue has the lunch refrigerator under surveillance and usually there is a "no tolerance" lunch theft policy: you steal someone's lunch, you get fired on the spot.
One time I had forgotten a package of tortillas in the back of a cabinet and when I found them again, there was literally every color of the rainbow of mold growing on it. Fascinating but disgusting.
Sounds yummy,NOT!
i once found a pack of unopened bacon in the back of the fridge, looked fine, then I saw the use-by was two years ago, took that shit outside and burned it on the bonfire in the garden, still stunk up the area!!! :S
Did you taste the rainbow??
I think this is how Alexander Flemming discovered penicillin...
@@gustavselin1197 that's awesome! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
One of my mom's husband was having just his dessert stolen from his lunch. So he found some very old dog poop (white) put some powdered sugar on it and placed it all in a plastic baggie.
The dessert thief was caught by his screams of horror and never stole another dessert from anyone at that job....
Simon you HAVE to keep the dubbing of “Brain Blaze” at the start even when we get caught up! It’s good to hear ETA again lol
Nah, good for his stock piled epsiodes, but it should end when it ends. Let the era of Business Blaze go out as it is name. In a blaze, and welcome in the era of Brain Blaze
agreed. keep doing it.
Then that's just another thing for him to have to explain eventually. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 stop it.
Brainblaze is like walking in on someone taking a dump and reading Ripley's Believe it Or Not 😁
Yeah! It certainly is! (I hope that's what they're
going for!)
@@aceofspadess4945 jo. B9kk9
I see it more as someone doing coke off the back of a Ripley's believe it or not book and then after all the coke has been done trying to read the book.
Best description I've seen yet.
Rotting Turtle is a genius invention we don't deserve.
When I was working in a rather large office, I used to love really spicy food. I mean really spicy - I ordered the hottest chilli sauces from around the world and used them generously. No one ever touched my food twice.
If i had to deal with thieves, i'd just poison it
Thats amazing. Whenever I bring a drink into the office I will make a point of drinking out of the bottle in front of people and then putting it back in the fridge.
Peter Kovacs, you are a legend.
My grandpa did the same 😆 And when he wanted to hide from his boss, he'd open a jar of old kimchi 🤣🤣
I tend more towards WTF combos, like candied bacon and cookie butter sandwiches, or peanut butter and bologna. Pizza with bacon, pep, green olives, and pineapple.
Great timing. I finished Casual criminalist and while Simon says goodbye TH-cam alert s me about the new brain Blaze
I’ve been spoiled with epic blazes I don’t know how I feel about a blaze only 16 minutes and change. Either way good video keep it up fact boi
I worked in an office with 1,000+ people and lunch theft was common. A coworker was tired of not having lunch because someone took it. They borrowed my Dave's Insanity Sauce and added it to some left over pizza. The pizza disappeared and they didn't have any issues their lunch disappearing again.
How about a normal lunchbox, with a note written on the lid, promising to give footage of any theft to both police and employer? You can back this up by putting an old, throw away smart phone into the box (make sure it's secured on top of the food, with camera facing the lid). Set the phone up with one of those free motion activated security camera apps (I like Alfred), and connect that sucker to wifi, so it automatically uploads footage of thieves to your personal account. Make sure you follow through on your promise if anyone dares steal from you.
I want to watch Simon's reaction to a BB episode once it's finished. Him reacting to Sam's edits.
Edits?
I do believe you mean Fine Vintage Memes
@@cravenmoordik thank you. My mistake.
@@AmberLie You're forgiven....this time...
Agreed
My grandfather had the lunch thief issue at his firehouse… his solution was chocolate exlax laced cookies 🍪 witha BIG note DO NOT EAT … bastard ate the whole bag and EVERYONE knew who he was - problem solved with a touch of vengeance 😈
I've never stole someone's food. Humans are so insane.
Makes you realise that there is a thief in all of us!!!
@@mikespike2099 Speak for yourself, human. :)
Genius inventions we don't deserve = Simon Whistler
Simon is Batman?
Who invented that damn device?
“Just take a good suck from the heavenly tube to lift your spirits.”
Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
Nick I think that’s called vaping and it’s not safer, just less annoying to people around you.
I can't do this vaping thing I will continue to annoy people and smell terrible until they come out with something better! I'm a selfish knob also!
Classic Nick!
We need to have a serious talk about getting phrasing back in the mix.
I'm just as upset about this as you are Nick
Genius invention we don't deserve: Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up.
Damn you! We've been Rick Rolled!
SAM! SAAAAM!! Thank you for once again making me CRY (from laughter, by adding those, once again EPIC memes, it's been a while since this high quality-level!!)!!!
I’m not drunk
"Probably not the boss"...we had the founder of the company steal a few euro microwave pizza from the fridge. Got caught on a camera across the room (kind of adjacent room, open kitchen type thing). Anyways. Sometimes it IS the boss. You don't get rich by splurging.
Today I just found out: British students keep whole loaves of bread in their lockers
Shame you haven't found out what the plural of loaf is.
Maybe he does. He just loaves it that much.
@@Apolita1987 Nah. I had it, but I originally wrote "a loaf" of bread. I added the s when I reworded it without thinking about it. Fixed now.
@@JT_WARCRIME it's not the internet without at least one grammar -lesson- shaming a video.
Why did I immediately think of beer when Simon said a brewroom at school?
I don't even drink beer and I went there. Positive vibes from New Hampshire, remember to be kind to each other and yourself during this pandemic and social crisis
SOMEONE STOLE MY DIET PEPSI AND TOOK A COUPLE SIPS AND THREW IT OUT.
Sad thing is if this person had asked me to get them lunch. I would have.
the "I don't remember asking you a gd thing" was GREAT and well timed. absolutely excellent.
Genius Invention we don't deserve and so it's gone - Business Blaze
People used to steal my milk in the office for their hot drinks, I ended up just putting a few drops of green food colouring in it. worked a treat
I think Brian the meme accountant did not survive life in the basement. #ogbb
What is it with Brits & toast? Doesn't matter what the problem is, they're like, "Oh here, have a spot of tea!" You're dog died? "Tea!" Your mom killed it? "Tea and biscuits!" Your dad killed your mom after she killed the dog? "Oh bless. Let's get you some toast, dear."
I don't think the baby mop is a practical idea, but the expression on my partner's face when she saw me playing video games while the baby chased the robot vacuum around the room was priceless. The stupid robot vacuum was her idea, I think it's about as effective as the baby mop.
😂😂 Vivid mental picture! This has me laughing as much as the episode!!
Boss steals shit, you'd be surprised. Rich people don't stay rich by paying for stuff
The richer you are, the more stuff you get for free.
This is true. I worked in a grocery store years ago and the wealthier customers were often caught stealing, and the security cameras usually revealed past events of theft when pulled and reviewed. They would then act surprised that they would get in trouble for stealing a "mere" couple hundred dollars worth of goods. They also usually tried to blame another customer in the same aisle despite the cameras clearly showing them grab the item and placing it in their purse/pants/baby-hand-basket-thing.
This isn't meant to throw shade at all well off people, but some of them are like that.
Just because the boss makes more than you, doesn't make him/her rich
I'm not so sure on how ethical the baby mop really is, I mean, that whole dunking them in the mop-bucket bit... (aww... someone else did that joke, too)
Could make an interesting costume in adult size.
The problem with the moldy looking bags - the food police at my job would throw the sandwich away without a second thought.
The mother told me about her experiences of "the office thief", and everyone there was pissed off with them so much they'd plant bait foods in the fridge, like sandwiches made with mouldy bread, soups with a shittonne of salt, drinks with laxatives in, milk that had gone badly off put in an opaque plastic bottle, etc., and yet, it didn't deter the thief, so either they had an iron stomach, or they were devastating the crapper on a regular basis!!! :S
I would bake a special browny, wait 2-3 hours and see which colleague has to go to home early.
I'm sure they tried that too... :P
He probably sniffed food before eating it, which is a quick way to avoid spoiled milk or moldy bread.
Mixed milk with a laxative at uni for our fridge thief
I've heard stories where people made sandwiches with dog or cat food to deter a thief.
Wait. We had a choice between having kids and raising chickens? And here I am stuck with a kid when I could be a chicken king
Children and chickens are good together...circle of life lessons and chickens eat ticks if you let them roam. Positive vibes from New Hampshire, remember to be kind to each other and yourself during this pandemic and social crisis
That fake moldy sandwich bag wouldn't work in the places I've worked. There's always some designated food police, who throws away any item they find suspect, without bothering to contact the owners.
There was a guy who would go out to his vehicle for lunch. Every time after lunch he came back drunk. No one knew how he was getting drunk. There were no bottles in his vehicle, and he never left.
Upon closer inspection of his vehicle they found a rubber tube coming out of his air vent.
What he did was use the coolant reservoir for his alcohol. Then ran the tube from the reservoir through the air duct and out the air vent.
I just f-ing laughed so hard.
The guy telling the clock he wasn't drunk....
Okayokay hear me out. Danny isn't in Simon's basement. Simon is actually in Danny's basement, being forced to read unreasonably long intros for wee morsels of food.
I had that problem with lunches. I put 3 condoms in my sandwich, emptied 1/4 bottle of ginger ale and pissed in it, and melted exlax on a chocolate dessert and put it in the company refrigerator. After that, no one took my lunch anymore.
You. Are. A. Genius.
Did they stop after biting into the condom sandwich, you think? Or rather they, feeling parched from the mouthful of latex and lube, continue by taking a nice big swig of Piss-Ale? Feeling themselves to be the lucky type, do you wonder if they thought they could still get away with the chocolate? That surely it couldn’t be tainted too? (You’re smarter than that though.) I like to imagine they shit their pants. After drinking piss. After eating condom. After stealing someone’s lunch. After being lucky.
Surely if someone at work saw what looked like mouldy sandwiches in the fridge they'd throw the whole bag straight in the bin for everyone's sake? Lol
I asserted my lunchroom dominance with nicely colored bags that I wrote my name on ... and then because that's never enough for some reason, the hottest hot sauce I could possibly find, hidden safely twixt meat and cheese so as not to eat through the bread ... and in copious quantity as to squirt out when pressure is applied. Sure, you go hungry the first couple of days, but the a**hole that steals your food quickly learns not to touch yours as he or she gets a squirt of insanely burning spicy sauce down their throat when they take a bite of your sandwich. And then it's safe to go back to making normal sandwiches that are actually edible. LOL
WHOA!! We have it on record that the people in the basement actually get money!
Or a mug of cocoa and a cup of gruel.
I think it depends on how the show goes.
Allegedly
I feel cheated not even a 20 minute blaze. I want my money back
Simon standing up for female alcoholics good fact boi 😂
We miss the live chat.
BRING BACK THE ARCHIVE STREAM FACT BOI
#OGLC
#WeAreSimon
Nimos Stay, Legends.
@@AmberLie Couldn't have said it better myself
We'll be right back after this quick cocasaurus rex break
@@aceundead4750 ..... it'll only last about a week. 😂
They should outfit babies with some knives and sharp scissors...put them outside to mow the grass. Just like one of those robot mowers!
Bloody hell Fact Boi! How many of these did you pre-record before changing the name to Brain Blaze?
12 per day for seven years.
This can also be supplemented by his arm in a sling timeline. There’s no continuity with that one. Has arm in sling and explains injury in his first appearance in the sling. Then uninjured Simon for a few consecutive videos. And back to injured. Then the process repeats. The magic of prerecording and editing.
I’m still worried about ETA. We haven’t seen or heard from them in quite some time.
Please, the family is really upset.
Am I lucky I have a fridge in my office. Nobody steels from me 😂. Danny of course can only dream about sandwiches
In glorious communist basement utopia, no one dreams of sandwiches...
@@RHCole but Danny lives in the Blazement he's not in any utopia. He only gets bland Magic Spoon. If they don't sponsor Danny age Sam starve
@@stephjoviif show goes really badly, it's gruel, beating with shoe
and dreams of magic spoon in cold pillows as
comfort
Holy heck, a shorter Busi... Brain Blaze. I love the longer ones but I'm sure Simon's legs are happy for a shorter one. 😅
Here's the problem with that lil invention. If it gets wide enough brand recognition, then the sandwich bugler will know it's not real mold and gobble gobble
"I don't remember asking you a..."
This meme could see MUCH use.
Green food dye works, just a few drops on a sandwich and in your milk and nobody would touch it. I think I only lost one sandwich after doing this and found it in the kitchen bin. Not bad after 23 years working in an office of 1400 staff.
I need a Sam to sprinkle in fine vintage memes IRL in my life wherever I go. I’ll just carry around an ipad and they just pop up at the appropriate times.
This channel should be a one man Broadway show, once a week and different every time. I mean Broadway is the logical next step for Simon >.
But who will feed Danny and Sam in the basement?
Broadway Blaze
My nickname is Willy. I put a luggage tag on my milk labelled "Willy milk". Couldn't give it away
Are we just going to gloss over the fact that the company was called " Better Than Pants"? I want to know other than turning your infant into a swifter, what else is " better than pants "?
...comfy shoes.
Skirts are way better, lets everything hang free
no pants
@Noodlelynoodle, can verify. @Awesplosion, damn, you beat me to the punchline. Usually can verify.
OH so while I'm here (came back because I forgot what the hell I was talking about), @ Ryan Cole, can verify; comfy shoes, everything hanging free, no pants.
The joy when youtube alerts you of a new video ! 🥳
Years ago, in my first office job I was troubled by people using the last of the milk and not replacing it. (It was a small office and the expectation was that when the carton was getting low, someone would go to the shop nearby and replace it.)
Frustrated by continually finding no milk in the fridge when I wanted a coffee, in desperation, I bought a carton of milk and wrote "I spat in this" on the side of the container with a big sharpie.
This worked perfectly for several days, as no one else was will to risk consuming the milk.
Unfortunately, a few days later, I found a new message written on the carton, underneath my own... it read "So did I".
TLDR - This is why communism never works.
When my dad was a miner, a powder monkey to be exact, his shift had an issue with lost lunches. So one dude ground a beer bottle into dust and put it in a sandwich. One guy went to the ER and lunches remained in the lunch box they were put in till the owner opened it.
And when he was a firefighter he made laxative brownies to solve a similar problem.
How do you discretely drink from your tie, in the middle of a meeting? Who would want to walk around all day with the weight of a bladder hanging on their necks? Ouch!
A brewery is where beer is made. Never heard it used for tea before. 🍻☕🍻
I like the old "key cups"
They had this plug that would fit in the bottom of the cup & if you didn't have the removable plug the cup was useless.
The “brew room” bit is the most aggressively British thing I’ve ever heard.
Yet another business oriented Brain Blaze... Troll level: Expert
We had a cookie thief at work. Until! Someone made Exlax chip cookies. 😂
It only took about half an hour to figure out who it was. 💩🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
I feel like this channel exists to help Simon keep his sanity lol
I'm in a bit of a pickle. I can't determine if watching this channel is really helping maintain my sanity, or if it's causing me to slowly lose my mind. Either way, please send cocaine. That should help me decide.
"I don't remember asking you a God---- thing!" 😂🤣
You just have to love Samuel L. Jackson! That man is an international treasure! 🌟🌎👏🏾
I just realized how awesome Danny and Sam are. We put up with Simon just to see their work.
#basementftw
#FreeDanny
ROFL
I could live with 90% fewer memes in these videos, Danny is a powerhouse writer but the constant breaks to the same 6 memes in ad infinitum is starting to grate on me
@@Azerkeux if you can look at Simon for a minute, you can see a meme for a few seconds without spoiling immersion
@@aalhard it's the repetition that gets me and doesn't add anything how many times must we hear 'daddy chill' or 'wtf danny' they lost their charm and I avoid these memes now in other parts of my life because they are so overused and played out by the editor of this channel
Simon: fix that neon lamp. It just needs a new ballast. The brick-looking thing. Yank that out, get a new one, plug it in, you're done.
Is it just me or is simon getting funnier with each video? “Is it crack?” I was laughing through the whole video…had to remind it a few times because I laughed so hard I couldn’t hear what Simon said.
You could just put your lunch into a box with a lock, so that your food is harder and more risky to steal, than everyone else's food.
Oh, Simon. Adding 'R's to words as always. Never change.
Where is ETA? Stuck in the basement with Danny? #FreeETA
ETA was dragged out behind the chemical sheds and disposed of.
@@RHCole #CancelFactBoy
Taking someone's lunch is one of the most petty ,yet at the same time entitled behaviors. People suck.
I can almost guarantee tho, that the chickens you buy will go into retirement far before the babies you have…
My trick for keeping room-mates and co-workers from stealing my food. Was to put food colouring in my milk or some other food. I've never met a person who would drink, green milk, or blue-ish mustered. That is if they don't know the trick. (Just for shits and giggles, a fun revenge, is to piss in their apple juice.
Some of those were hilarious, and just crazy enough to work.
4:02
Except for when people know it's a thing and so aren't put off by the packaging. Or don't know it's a thing dump your sandwich in the bin and then send a memo or go around the office looking for the clown that let their food go mouldy in the fridge.
I was gonna say this about the “mold” sandwich bag. It’s genius until someone throws it away 😂
I was scrolling through thinking "I can't believe no one is going to say this." I almost got to the last of the comments before I saw it.
Genius sandwich bag till someone throws it in the bin lol
Memes were on point in this one. Laughed multiple times.
Danny gets paid 😂😄😂😄😂😄😂😄😂😄😂😄 good one,Simon
The amount of edited intros is really showing how far ahead Simon shoots these.
This channel has truly gone off the walls
the clear answer is to bring a decoy lunch and hide your real one.
in the decoy you put something disgusting or spicy or that has like 20 laxatives. you can spook somoene out of taking lunches if you get them to bite something real bad
Danny should request a better basement for being the beautiful wizard behind Blaze Boy ☺️😃😘
I don't think that request would go well for Danny. But we all know his value.
His chains get extended by 1 link for a good performance to a limit, of course
That's not how basement slavery works.
@@MF-R know from experience?? 😅
Hello fellow legends.
You pay Danny?, even though he is trapped in your basement, on sub level B12, corridor 8, sub section 2, chamber 1.
Somebody get this man a Nobel!
At 03:07 is that a montage of you and your "brother from another mother" Michael from VSauce? So funny! 🤣
I work in a pathology lab and I used to have the human organs one until one of my friends took it
I just got one about a week ago. I was kinda freaked out that it turned up in this video. LOL...
The real easiest way to keep your lunch from being stolen is to take something that can go 4-6 hours without refrigeration; then you can just keep it with you. There's a reason PB&J is so popular, and not just that it's cheap and tasty.
This is one of the episodes that makes me think Simon has nasal candy in his lunch bag.