My journey to the third relapse

Hi guys, my name is Vera and I'm suffering from an eating disorder. It came to me that since I can't talk to people from my surrounding, making such videos could be a kind of a therapy. If you have any thoughts and ideas to share, you're always welcome :)
In this video I'm trying to trace back my ED and find out the reasons. Surprisingly enough, they are different every time I face a relapse

[@anfiskawp]

In my opinion, if you afraid to gain weight now you haven’t any chance to be physical and mental healthier in the future. You just need to accept it.