REVEALING my IVY LEAGUE Personal Statement (NO-BS Common App Essay Guide)

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 152

  • @towardsuniverse
    @towardsuniverse 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Idk why 10 second into him reading the essay I felt tears from my eyes. Idk why I was moved by his essay!❤

  • @jadakamau7341
    @jadakamau7341 2 ปีที่แล้ว +647

    STOP this is such a clever, and engaging essay. I watched hundreds of similar videos and this is in my top 3!!!!!!

    • @BABYSTARZ
      @BABYSTARZ ปีที่แล้ว +20

      it rly isnt

    • @GulalaiSher
      @GulalaiSher ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@BABYSTARZ How so?

    • @imauz1127
      @imauz1127 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@BABYSTARZ alright babystarz

    • @Charleslihan0211
      @Charleslihan0211 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      what the other 2 top essays in your list? can you share them?

    • @bsraelcan
      @bsraelcan ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What are the other two on top three??

  • @scottjackson163
    @scottjackson163 ปีที่แล้ว +451

    I got into Stanford and Brown (the only two schools to which I applied) for graduate school. Years later, after I had completed my A.M. at Stanford, I wrote the school to get a copy of my application. I wanted to remind myself of what I had submitted as an essay. I thought the essay was pretentious rubbish. There is no substitute for luck in this world.

    • @TTAGGGTTAGGG
      @TTAGGGTTAGGG ปีที่แล้ว +70

      I really hope luck is on my side on Nov 1st because without divine intervention, I’m not getting into these institutions.

    • @aether_444
      @aether_444 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      applying to only stanford and brown is CRAZY LOL but glad it worked out for you hahahaha

    • @happyleggo9904
      @happyleggo9904 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'm sure the essay played a part, but you must've been a good student and an overachiever to get in those schools.

    • @viijackiiv9713
      @viijackiiv9713 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Very happy that you got in, but to anyone reading this please DON'T only apply to your dream schools. Its very possible that you will get in, but it doesn't hurt to spend just a few hours adapting your application to a safety school in case that you don't get accepted.

    • @happyleggo9904
      @happyleggo9904 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@viijackiiv9713 Definitely. I'm applying for colleges this year, and my safety is one that guarantees admission if you have a 3.0 GPA and all of the necessary credits to graduate.

  • @ilostmyearpodsbtwiamhannah815
    @ilostmyearpodsbtwiamhannah815 ปีที่แล้ว +201

    Literally one of the most creative essays I have heard

  • @attaboyspider3129
    @attaboyspider3129 ปีที่แล้ว +215

    The most important part of a college essay is telling a story of who you are. The personal statement has to do that AND combine with activities with the ECS so college admissions can tell you are not lost. Im guessing thats what P did especially how he talked abt research and no doubt prolly had internships in research and won awards in that field which made him essay stronger.

  • @tory3964
    @tory3964 ปีที่แล้ว +100

    This is the best, the one and only Personal Statement video an applicant needs to watch. Like there is absolutely no reason to watch other videos, this guy gave the best advice.

    • @insight2
      @insight2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      what prompt did he write it for?

    • @butter_free__8
      @butter_free__8 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@insight2 i was wondering that too actually. did u find out?

  • @saman8793
    @saman8793 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I love the humor in the essay as well as you looping back to your comparison to how your an habitual person just like the birds. Love it!

  • @txmxtx
    @txmxtx 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    This is the first common app essay guide video that I watched till the very end without skipping a second. Your video gave me literal chills and such great, solid tips that I can ACTUALLY apply to when writing my app. Keep it up, and thank you so much.

  • @awesomeyoutuber173
    @awesomeyoutuber173 2 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    yo keep pumping out that fire content bro. gonna share this with the boys on the college grind bc this is straight up the best advice on youtube

  • @micahmiller6066
    @micahmiller6066 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Bro I literally had no idea what to write as my college essay but this was so inspiring and such a genuinely helpful video! As a Fall 2025 applicant and recent subscriber I was so happy to find this, thank you preaching p 🙏🙏

    • @eersatzz
      @eersatzz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      good luck!!!!

  • @Eggysmother-ik3mh
    @Eggysmother-ik3mh ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Wonderful video. Preaching P, you give solid advice. This video gave GREAT advice. Not only that, you went into step-by-step detail on how to write such an essay. Thanks!

  • @samarthram2651
    @samarthram2651 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    You're like my wise older brother fr. Keep making that quality content my guy.

  • @limesneeze-hypixelminecraf8633
    @limesneeze-hypixelminecraf8633 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    this is a banger essay. i'm a rising senior and this is rly helpful, thanks!

  • @admissionsgames
    @admissionsgames ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Solid example of using an experience from every day life that relates to what you want to do. Kudos.

  • @arthurzhao6678
    @arthurzhao6678 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    one of the best personal statement videos I have ever seen

  • @matthewchen8229
    @matthewchen8229 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    My man preaching P be straight SAVIN my essays fr. Appreciate u my brotha 🙏💯

  • @lolipeaches6616
    @lolipeaches6616 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Am i the only one who finds his voice calming? Thank you man , you gave me hopes for my college applications 😊

  • @sssonotnosh
    @sssonotnosh ปีที่แล้ว +3

    this is the best essay i've ever read

  • @TaraPrahlad
    @TaraPrahlad ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Dude, this is actually so well-articulated. Tysm!

  • @shadman9758
    @shadman9758 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i love this guy's channel. Bro is funny and gives good advice at the same time

  • @iyanutube
    @iyanutube 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    recent harvard admit here and this was such a refreshing outlook on the essay process and i love how you were very confident in everything you wrote!

  • @AahilMahmood
    @AahilMahmood ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My fav line of this whole video
    "Bro! Are we in the second grade!"
    This killed me !!!!!!!!!

  • @Living.for.the.little.things
    @Living.for.the.little.things ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are a literal king for this 👑

  • @zanmar6764
    @zanmar6764 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This is incredibly helpful.Thank you for making all these videos.

  • @whatismeaninggg
    @whatismeaninggg 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    7:43 i’ve been laughing at this moment for about 20 minutes now lmao

  • @Jokkkkke
    @Jokkkkke ปีที่แล้ว +17

    My neighbor, who did her PhD in anthropology at Yale and her post-doc at Cornell, would really advise not to do this on your grad school application. He doesn't stick to what should be the focus of most peoples' grad school statement: their academic interests. On top of that, he also uses way too many A-grade synonyms and unconventional, sometimes long-winded, sentence structures. She says you have to keep it simple, yet formal because the admissions officer only has so much time

  • @kit7475
    @kit7475 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is actually so fire I love it

  • @CraftsRcute
    @CraftsRcute 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This guy is the GOAT

  • @diegojiang374
    @diegojiang374 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is literally the best PS advice video

  • @chadchampion7985
    @chadchampion7985 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is a great example of survivorship bias actually

  • @3lstepho
    @3lstepho 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    im gonna steal this essay. thanks big bro

    • @omar.savage
      @omar.savage 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Haha I don’t think that works

  • @Utonium3D
    @Utonium3D 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    your essay is so good that I think I have no chance anymore even though I have a really interesting story to show 😭

  • @BigmanHaus
    @BigmanHaus ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The thing is, you probably had a very strong application outside the essay. Meanwhile there is me, who needs it to explain that I'm not the low tier idiot both my gpa and SAT point at.

  • @Stareyiii
    @Stareyiii 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    DAMNN i did not expect that plot twist 😭

  • @elizustun8934
    @elizustun8934 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    WHATT? BEST AND MOST CLEVER ESSAY

  • @vedantpatil1781
    @vedantpatil1781 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    the last idea is the real deal fr ngl

  • @gowthamnaiduponnana7331
    @gowthamnaiduponnana7331 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Exactly seeing this video after a year! Oct 21st, 2023. applying to Dartmouth as ED. Wish me best of luck and give some tips

  • @oliviamou60
    @oliviamou60 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    wow your essay was incredible

  • @scuti7073
    @scuti7073 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    No omobamaepia to hook the reader. End on a good note
    Vary adjectives
    I need to write a sob story
    Do not bring up your achievements unless it contributes to the story
    You write a little bit more then edit it to condense forces u to keep the essential

    • @loveyalotz
      @loveyalotz 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      How is his essay a sob story???

  • @Tobyzguy
    @Tobyzguy ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Its so funny how divided this comment section is, good luck to everyone applying in the coming months!

  • @D1ani3l
    @D1ani3l 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    So with the quote thing, you said we shouldn’t do that in our intro. For mine, I didn’t necessarily use a famous quote or someone else’s quote per say. It was more so dialogue to like grab the readers attention. For instance, “Daniel!” My mom hollered. “Why are you awake at 12 am you have school tomorrow!” Should I not do that?

  • @heroryan7859
    @heroryan7859 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    DUDEEEEEEE that was such a good essay!!!!!!! Did the birds get their tree back?

  • @cjdenney9385
    @cjdenney9385 ปีที่แล้ว

    Okay AMAZING content and congrats on ur accomplishments! But also how do you style your hair? It's exactly what I'm going for lol

  • @XpertVision-o2d
    @XpertVision-o2d หลายเดือนก่อน

    Very Good Essay. What program was it for?

  • @prabhatkiranchaulagain1095
    @prabhatkiranchaulagain1095 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    25:03
    Bro, I subbed, particularly for your real laugh and sharing!

  • @juliethlambert1841
    @juliethlambert1841 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this! It was super helpful

  • @Blast800
    @Blast800 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Did you actually move them or you made up the process?

  • @caylawaddington385
    @caylawaddington385 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Y'all wild, I liked this video but I start my essays with quotes from me. I'm a gun violence prevention activist and I like, chant phrases for protests and it works for me. Quote yourself.

  • @Joel228-07
    @Joel228-07 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What they told my Jamaican-American mom after writing all those qualitative words... You should be an English major...

  • @crazyaboutjcrew8080
    @crazyaboutjcrew8080 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am watching this video one year after. Loved the essay. Yes the ending is clever but I think it works because we see it coming. We KNOW you're going to miss the motherfuckers and so we feel clever too. I find it a bit abrupt though, I thought there would be another sentence after that where you were going to undo your trick and "call them back" so to speak. So my question is: did you have a version where your story didn't end like that and then decided to cut it? And why? I know you said the AOs can see through it but on the other side I felt it was missing something on the personal level. Like humility maybe?

  • @nehavivek7902
    @nehavivek7902 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I know you briefly mentioned it but could you make a video about your research? Like how you got your ideas, labs and how you actually conducted it? I really want to do research but I'm lost on where to start.

    • @preachingp
      @preachingp  2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Research is a whole process in itself. I'll definitely make a vid on this topic

    • @butter_free__8
      @butter_free__8 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@preachingp what common app essay prompt did u write this essay for? My essay is pretty similar to you're theme wise (not the content ofc) but i couldn't figure out if it should be under 2nd or 7th prompt.

  • @xs-2004
    @xs-2004 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are a real inspiration, I guaranteed you will go somewhere 🎉👍👍

  • @rain_raii
    @rain_raii 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    so ngl you called me out and sort of dragged me by my hair in this video but ill be thanking u one my ps is fire so a win is a win actually!

  • @David.124
    @David.124 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Wow this confuses me because people always say to show your personality/personal life in your essay but this is more story telling

    • @analysis726
      @analysis726 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      there’s no one right way to do it

    • @loveyalotz
      @loveyalotz 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      A GOOD ESSAY IS A GOOD ESSAY!! you’re supposed to think of your essay as a STORY and your story says a lot about YOU!!!

  • @Charleslihan0211
    @Charleslihan0211 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    which prompt is this?

  • @husseinabbaka
    @husseinabbaka 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    where did you get in and how many schools you applied for?

  • @loveyalotz
    @loveyalotz 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Essay was fire

  • @saadsohail4690
    @saadsohail4690 หลายเดือนก่อน

    what prompt did you write this essay under ?

  • @mcpsquad6647
    @mcpsquad6647 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Meanwhile me: cut down the tree

  • @creampuffman42
    @creampuffman42 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    so just to be clear, this dude made this entire story up?

    • @eersatzz
      @eersatzz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      no, it happened

  • @kidbot123nasa6
    @kidbot123nasa6 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Crazy good

  • @curiousglasses8924
    @curiousglasses8924 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Quick question, when you said no quotes in the opening, did you mean no quotes like Albert Einstein said this, or did you mean no quotations like for example you're telling a story and you open with your mom dropping you off to some place saying "Make sure to text me when to pick you up!" (like that would also be a quote but I believe you meant no quotes as in an Albert Einstein type)?

    • @litete2512
      @litete2512 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Probably not any of those

    • @MrJoey18
      @MrJoey18 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ye age meant don’t make quotes from other people but I wouldn’t suggest doing eithet

  • @v0n1c
    @v0n1c 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This was really helpful, but I do have a question. In a lot of essays, I noticed that there's an event (in this case the birds) and it is tied in with an extracuricular (the science expirements in this case). How do you tie in a extracurricular/hobby into your essay, even if it has nothing to do with your topic?

    • @Gavin_M.
      @Gavin_M. 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I would start with broad generalizations first. Here's an example
      "oh these birds are annoying and i need a solution. i can talk about how i solve problems scientifically. ok, how does a scientist solve problems? through gathering data and observing, then through repeated experimentation"

  • @MAITREYEEMAJUMDER-co7lv
    @MAITREYEEMAJUMDER-co7lv 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    i am Maitreyee from West Bengal. So right now I am an ordinary high school student, and i have a target of joining high tier colleges and universities for my under-graduation. so i had a couple of questions about the process: 1. i don't have any experience about research and science fairs, and i am really interested in biology field, especially neuroscience and molecular biology, so how am i going to start these? 2. i am a very ordinary student, and i am really interested in athletics and cultural clubs, so is these going to help in the process of selection in top tier colleges and universities? 3. i am right now in the 10th grade, and next year i have my boards exams, so is it too late?

  • @srisaipatnaik2776
    @srisaipatnaik2776 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I want to do economics. How can I convey my qualities, like he did?

  • @ryanshulman201
    @ryanshulman201 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    bro i actually like that essay, but in my opinion the intro is a little too pretentious when it comes to the vocabulary. like you say "use your own voice" and then say stuff like "horrendous screeching... shatters my peaceful sleep," "cacophonous cry," "delicate creature." Nobody talks like that bro. I didn't say that kind of stuff and got into all the schools I applied to (including

    • @loveyalotz
      @loveyalotz 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Using rare words shows intelligence you don’t need more than 5 rare words in your essay that nobody knows

    • @chonker9228
      @chonker9228 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I agree w you may i see your essay pleek

  • @destdrom
    @destdrom 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    love ur vids Tikha masala!

  • @papakwamekuttin2978
    @papakwamekuttin2978 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Is it a good topic for me to write about how I've always been the odd one in mostly everywhere? And what metaphors can I use in the essay or should I just write it as it is. I'm having a really hard time here guys please help

  • @lmaowww3449
    @lmaowww3449 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    @preachingp I know you said don't start your essay with a quote...but could I if the quote is about me? Like It starts with my name.

    • @Tobyzguy
      @Tobyzguy ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Honestly, drop the quote. But it's hard to imagine it won't come off as elitist. Personal Essay is not the time for accolades.

  • @DSCuber-28-01-2019
    @DSCuber-28-01-2019 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Did you actually experience the plot of the essay, and actually made an Arduino project for it? Or was it just all from your mind. Can we make up stuff like this for essays?

    • @minhanhnguyen2250
      @minhanhnguyen2250 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      i think essay can have a degree of exaggeration but not making stuff up, thats j fake. I dont think he made up ab the adruino detail cuz its not worth the time making that up lmaoo

  • @sakalabhaktula
    @sakalabhaktula 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    “I drew predator faces on trees but only children were scared”- bro ayo

  • @hankhudson8736
    @hankhudson8736 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It’s really well written, but shouldn’t personal statements try to show off ur achievements and connect ur self to the major u intend to pursue?

    • @lamebudseeneye2440
      @lamebudseeneye2440 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      you obviously didn't watch the whole video

    • @hankhudson8736
      @hankhudson8736 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@lamebudseeneye2440 yea I wrote it before I got to that part. Still I think the essay should at least elaborate on accomplishments and draw a connection bw them to ur intended major

    • @preachingp
      @preachingp  2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Aight bro so I pretty much never reply to comments along these lines because I feel arguing is futile, but because I think you have good intentions I'll make an exception. If you're interested in applying to BS/MD programs, your personal statement is absolutely NOT the place to talk about your major and intended career interests. When 90%+ colleges already ask a "why do you want to be a doctor?" essay, there is no reason to redundantly add information here. Secondly, regardless of your major, the goal of the personal statement is still not to talk about accomplishments and your intended major in college. It's to provide colleges with an insight into your personality, something that is nearly impossible to convey anywhere else. There are few awards out there that would really need any more explanation for an admissions officer to understand their significance. And, if you needed to elaborate, then the additional information section is perfect for that. In regards to your major, colleges still don't really care about drawing the connection. For example, if you're applying as a CS-major and you NEED to explain to colleges how the clubs you're involved in and the awards you've won have led to this decision (i.e. it's not implicit), then there is a whole different problem here.
      Once you can truly understand the purpose of the personal statement, the writing just falls into place.

    • @hankhudson8736
      @hankhudson8736 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@preachingp hey man, sorry abt the late reply I’ve been busy these last few days. I gotcha, I’m applying as an Econ Major but most of my activities and awards are music related. I think you’re right, but since I don’t hv many Econ related things, I’m going to be in the case you described where I have to connect my activities to my major - but I’ll keep it brief since the personality factor u mentioned is significant. Thanks for the advice man and keep up the banger vids. I watch a lot of self improvement channels and you are the best spoken and concise

    • @djpanda6133
      @djpanda6133 ปีที่แล้ว

      Personal statements which show off achievements and connect you to your essay are for UK and European colleges, US essays are completely different.

  • @shashankmadala28
    @shashankmadala28 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    @Preaching P what college did you attend?

  • @lamebudseeneye2440
    @lamebudseeneye2440 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Bro makes my essay seem like a joke.

  • @jay.r.d
    @jay.r.d 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Let’s gooo

  • @ninidzneladze-ut5vl
    @ninidzneladze-ut5vl 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    how the fuck is this supposed to happen to me? you solve the problems and i ignore them

  • @sceneslab
    @sceneslab 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    umm.. what are some of the basic things that must be present in common app essay

  • @savannahingledew4777
    @savannahingledew4777 ปีที่แล้ว

    thank you

  • @shree__806
    @shree__806 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi. I am confused how to start my essay. What can I do?

    • @idostuff2671
      @idostuff2671 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      you should probably write a hook that catches the readers' or reader's attention. I don't really know how to explain it more than that.

    • @loveyalotz
      @loveyalotz 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Think of something in your life that you problem solved

  • @MariadeLourdesAniesSanch-ze7hf
    @MariadeLourdesAniesSanch-ze7hf ปีที่แล้ว

    because people never choose me

  • @MariadeLourdesAniesSanch-ze7hf
    @MariadeLourdesAniesSanch-ze7hf ปีที่แล้ว

    I like change

  • @subashjothiligam4388
    @subashjothiligam4388 หลายเดือนก่อน

    8:10 he turned black for a sec

  • @mityacolefilms
    @mityacolefilms ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This guy needs an ego check

  • @oliviamou60
    @oliviamou60 ปีที่แล้ว

    can u help review my essays?

  • @BlessedBraceletsARTS
    @BlessedBraceletsARTS 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I thought it was supposed to be about you? I'm not understanding much of who you are. I thought your supposed to explain ur life story someoe help

    • @bumnindonesia
      @bumnindonesia 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      yes same, I dont know the meaning of missing bird sound, how does it affect his life lol. However, the storytelling is good.

    • @bumnindonesia
      @bumnindonesia 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      yes same, I dont know the meaning of missing bird sound, how does it affect his life lol. However, the storytelling is good.

  • @kiannahom
    @kiannahom ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I tried looking at this video, but had unfortunately seen another video of yours (th-cam.com/video/whn12ofxq-U/w-d-xo.html) which may have prejudiced me. The long length of this video may not have helped. Anyway I saw the gist - the essay itself was good. You are also a very fluent speaker and I hope you are able to develop your full potential.

  • @annacochran1169
    @annacochran1169 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Bro is comparing being annoyed by bird to helping people with illnesses in India

  • @adkhambekyashnarbekov5758
    @adkhambekyashnarbekov5758 ปีที่แล้ว

    Good one

  • @adititiwariiiii
    @adititiwariiiii ปีที่แล้ว

    😩💕

  • @sashapushkin1799
    @sashapushkin1799 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Pure sophomoric tripe.

  • @parrotsarecolorful01434
    @parrotsarecolorful01434 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    womens sweater?

  • @hilol1364
    @hilol1364 ปีที่แล้ว

    birds

  • @AadhyaSingh-wk7hr
    @AadhyaSingh-wk7hr ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Doesn’t he looks like Baljit?

    • @timahlimah
      @timahlimah 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      embarrassing to be brown yourself making racist jokes 😭🙏

  • @Mr.Archduke
    @Mr.Archduke 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I don’t know if you read these comments still, and I liked your overall idea’s don’t get me wrong, but I believe your bulk isn’t engaging. I like your intro and conclusion, and even thought your ending was clear as ever, but your bulk made me fall asleep a bit. It’s overall a good essay, and your points are very much valid, but yet again your bulk is not engaging. And to a-firm my statement, THIS IS STILL VALID ADVICE.

  • @bronite3902
    @bronite3902 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    very poor;

  • @YourWrongImRight933
    @YourWrongImRight933 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Your topic sentence is so cliche.. is this a joke?

  • @rmantena5954
    @rmantena5954 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    That was a terrible essay.

    • @loveyalotz
      @loveyalotz 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Disagree

  • @karissaalf
    @karissaalf ปีที่แล้ว +2

    LMFAOOO