What a wonderfully insightful video. I've never heard this perspective on the matter. Brent, I think your channel could take off. The clarity in which you speak about this topic is almost alien to me. I'm not sure if your TH-cam channel simply compliments your guide or if it's a standalone thing, but I think by following the TH-cam success formula this channel could go grow to the millions. Clickbait, tags, cards, social media and all that jazz. I wanted to ask, how did you get to the point where you not only knew this, but truly practiced this way of thinking? It is one thing to feel a freedom from obligation once in a while, it is another thing to live by it, be it naturally or through practice. Anyways, loved the video- thanks.
Hey Dan, thanks for the kind words - I appreciate it! To your question, there are a few different ways that you can take these concepts and make it into your way of life. One major way is be super vigilant when you find yourself saying "I have to" or "I should" and replace all of it with choice. It's helpful to literally say it with your voice - I choose to wash the dishes (or whatever). It can also be powerful to look at aspects of your life that you don't like and "choose" them. The stuff that you're trying to change that is resisting change - just choose it. Accept completely as if you were choosing it. This might seem like a simple play in semantics, but it's more than that. It feels like power. Finally, a third one would be to practice standing more completely in your own authority. It's one thing for me to say all this stuff that I did in the video, but when push comes to shove, would you be willing to stand in the knowing that there's nothing that you have to do? Ideally you want to take this kind of material and make it into your own thing and ground yourself deep into it so that other's can't knock you off your footing. Hope this helps!
I was talking about my family life on Reddit and someone hit me like a rock with “It sounds like you’re living a life of complete obligation, no joy, you’re walking dead.” I had never considered it before. A life of 100% obligation. I stumbled on your video. The most coherent thing I’ve come across regarding obligation. I think I get it but I need to explore it more. What can you suggest (without me going into detail of my situation here) ?
Thanks for that! Unfortunately I can't think of anything else in terms of further reading, especially without the benefit of knowing your situation. But if you like, you could always get a 1-1 coaching session w me for $5 and that would give me a chance to help you a bit more directly. Link here: www.brentthecoach.com/f441d936
How would you apply this philosophy to working out (I want to do this) if you don’t feel like it? Or resisting the urge to masturbate to porn (I don’t want to do this) if you have an urge?
Hey! Starting with working out, look at the fact that you simultaneously want to work out (thus you asking this question) and also DON'T want to work out (otherwise you'd already be doing it). So both intentions are present here. Furthermore what I'm saying in this video is that there's no obligation or judgement about what you end up doing. You either work out or don't, and you reap the consequences of whichever choice you make. There's nothing outside of choice and consequence in this regard. So with all this said, you're invited to make your choice. Suppose you're free tomorrow for an hour or so and you can get to the gym. When the time comes to go, make your choice and commit. Are you going? Good - then go. What's stopping you? If you're NOT going, then simply don't. If you stay home, the key is not to lie to yourself. Don't "make it okay" for you to stay home because "you'll do it tomorrow", or because it would "be a waste of time", or because "it's too hard and I don't have enough discipline for it". But at the same time, don't lie to yourself that you can NOT go to the gym AND get the results of going to the gym. It's either one or the other. From an absolute standpoint, both are fine. If it's your desire to be a dude who goes to the gym, then turn this activity into something that you love. Make it into your own thing. Find methods that work for you. Find a pace that works for you. Give yourself time to adjust to your new habit. Completely let go of the gym as something you're supposed to do. Instead it's something that you love doing. See the difference there? Does this also give you a sense of how to approach the porn & masturbation bit?
@@brenthuras1 so in terms of PMO, the case would still be that it’s my choice to, always was and always will be, I reap the consequences of either choice, but there’s no obligation or “having” to make a certain choice. Okay. I just want to not have an urge to masturbate anymore, like you said make working out something I love but what should I do in terms of PMOING?
I'm sorry dude, I know enough to be able to say something helpful about this. You would have to look into things like: Is there any non-zero amount of jerking off that's healthy and good? If so, how much? Also: Where is this compulsion to masturbate coming from, see if you can locate and articulate that.
the very thing i needed to hear , thanks 💛
What a wonderfully insightful video. I've never heard this perspective on the matter. Brent, I think your channel could take off. The clarity in which you speak about this topic is almost alien to me.
I'm not sure if your TH-cam channel simply compliments your guide or if it's a standalone thing, but I think by following the TH-cam success formula this channel could go grow to the millions. Clickbait, tags, cards, social media and all that jazz.
I wanted to ask, how did you get to the point where you not only knew this, but truly practiced this way of thinking? It is one thing to feel a freedom from obligation once in a while, it is another thing to live by it, be it naturally or through practice.
Anyways, loved the video- thanks.
Hey Dan, thanks for the kind words - I appreciate it!
To your question, there are a few different ways that you can take these concepts and make it into your way of life. One major way is be super vigilant when you find yourself saying "I have to" or "I should" and replace all of it with choice. It's helpful to literally say it with your voice - I choose to wash the dishes (or whatever).
It can also be powerful to look at aspects of your life that you don't like and "choose" them. The stuff that you're trying to change that is resisting change - just choose it. Accept completely as if you were choosing it. This might seem like a simple play in semantics, but it's more than that. It feels like power.
Finally, a third one would be to practice standing more completely in your own authority. It's one thing for me to say all this stuff that I did in the video, but when push comes to shove, would you be willing to stand in the knowing that there's nothing that you have to do? Ideally you want to take this kind of material and make it into your own thing and ground yourself deep into it so that other's can't knock you off your footing.
Hope this helps!
I was talking about my family life on Reddit and someone hit me like a rock with “It sounds like you’re living a life of complete obligation, no joy, you’re walking dead.” I had never considered it before. A life of 100% obligation. I stumbled on your video. The most coherent thing I’ve come across regarding obligation. I think I get it but I need to explore it more. What can you suggest (without me going into detail of my situation here) ?
Thanks for that! Unfortunately I can't think of anything else in terms of further reading, especially without the benefit of knowing your situation. But if you like, you could always get a 1-1 coaching session w me for $5 and that would give me a chance to help you a bit more directly. Link here: www.brentthecoach.com/f441d936
if we could just allow people the room and space to give
How would you apply this philosophy to working out (I want to do this) if you don’t feel like it? Or resisting the urge to masturbate to porn (I don’t want to do this) if you have an urge?
Hey!
Starting with working out, look at the fact that you simultaneously want to work out (thus you asking this question) and also DON'T want to work out (otherwise you'd already be doing it). So both intentions are present here. Furthermore what I'm saying in this video is that there's no obligation or judgement about what you end up doing. You either work out or don't, and you reap the consequences of whichever choice you make. There's nothing outside of choice and consequence in this regard.
So with all this said, you're invited to make your choice. Suppose you're free tomorrow for an hour or so and you can get to the gym. When the time comes to go, make your choice and commit. Are you going? Good - then go. What's stopping you? If you're NOT going, then simply don't. If you stay home, the key is not to lie to yourself. Don't "make it okay" for you to stay home because "you'll do it tomorrow", or because it would "be a waste of time", or because "it's too hard and I don't have enough discipline for it".
But at the same time, don't lie to yourself that you can NOT go to the gym AND get the results of going to the gym. It's either one or the other. From an absolute standpoint, both are fine.
If it's your desire to be a dude who goes to the gym, then turn this activity into something that you love. Make it into your own thing. Find methods that work for you. Find a pace that works for you. Give yourself time to adjust to your new habit.
Completely let go of the gym as something you're supposed to do. Instead it's something that you love doing. See the difference there?
Does this also give you a sense of how to approach the porn & masturbation bit?
@@brenthuras1 so in terms of PMO, the case would still be that it’s my choice to, always was and always will be, I reap the consequences of either choice, but there’s no obligation or “having” to make a certain choice. Okay. I just want to not have an urge to masturbate anymore, like you said make working out something I love but what should I do in terms of PMOING?
I'm sorry dude, I know enough to be able to say something helpful about this. You would have to look into things like: Is there any non-zero amount of jerking off that's healthy and good? If so, how much? Also: Where is this compulsion to masturbate coming from, see if you can locate and articulate that.
Hey are you still monitoring your emails?
Hi! Yup I saw and responded to yours