Will caregiving ruin our relationship?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ค. 2024
- Will caregiving ruin our relationship?
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We are often asked if caregiving would ruin our relationship or if Charisma will burnout! We decided to sit down and discuss this very important topic with you all and how we will handle the potential stress!
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About Cole & Charisma:
Welcome to the official Roll with Cole & Charisma TH-cam channel! Since the start of our relationship we've
gotten a lot of questions about our experiences as not only an interracial couple, but an interabled one as well. On
this channel you can catch us doing travel and adventure vlogs, challenges, our inclusion series, couple first times, music, and so much more! We started this vlog to bring people into our lives, to answer some questions about how we navigate the world, and hopefully raise awareness surrounding accessibility and dating in a wheelchair. You'll quickly see in our episodes that we're all about inclusion and keeping a great attitude no matter your
circumstances, so if that's what you're into, you're in the right place!
Hope y’all enjoyed the video! As we’re going to continue practicing social-distancing until things calm down, we’d love to hear from y’all what other topics or HOME activities you’d like us to do a video of! What do y’all have in mind?!
Roll with Cole & Charisma Sending lots of love from Alaska. Stay safe. Your a beautiful couple. Love love your videos. Very positive. ❤️
Awesome ya'll, i am glad you are still in love with each other, and having fun, xoxo LPP
Play games.. do laundry 🧺 lol bing watch Netflix and chill 😂🤷🏾♀️
Let Cole help with cooking I'd love that
I would love you to talk about the misconception that many people have, that disabled people don't get horny or even have sex. We don't need tutors and we do what we want when we want as long as it doesn't harm us. In relation to caregiving, if she's Mrs right, she stay and if you can get the balance right between work and personal logistics, you've nailed it. 👍
Charisma’s name fits her soo well
I know right
dats da truth
Jen O thank you! 🤗 shout out mama Kat!
Yes!!
Right!!! It fits her 100%
I can see the relationship between Cole and Charisma Was put together by the Heavenly Father. God bless you both.
Bridgette DeFreitas Right. It’s so beautiful to not only see it but feel it.
I totally believe you. They’re so beautiful to me
Most Definitely!!!
You can see it!!💜❤🧡
Ameen ameen ameen
If that ain’t the truth
Cole hit the lottery with charisma she is an amazing woman one in a million
She did pretty well too.
When you love one another, there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for that person.
i will hire someone to change his diaper but that is as far as i will go LOL
Smh ^ keyword: love, actual real love lol
Amen
Emily stevens He doesn’t wear a diaper 😂🤦🏻♀️ He wears a catheter for urine and I’m pretty sure he has to take laxatives for the other end and he sits on the toilet.
@Red Carded www.christopherreeve.org/living-with-paralysis/health/secondary-conditions/bowel-management
This explains in detail why some quadriplegics have to take laxatives regularly.
Am I the only one who likes the video before watching 😂👀
Same🤗
No
No
Nope😀
Portia Shakwane lol I like before watching too 😆
I LOVE how his eyes light up as he looks at her.
I LOVE their chemistry and how respectful they are conversating. They both have alot to say but neither interupts. On top if ALL that they are both sooo funny.
I have a caregiver she been with us for 15 years now. She comes Monday thru Friday to give me my shower, get me dress, and cook breakfast. My wife lay me down at night.
congrats
🙌🙌🙌
That caregiver must be payed good. I am glad you have someone great
YOURE INDEED LUCKY
@@ilovejesus9303 I used to be a caregiver. They don't make much.
The fact that you recognize and can articulate that concern...is major in managing whatever may arise, you'll do really well I'm sure
Thank you! ❤️
I’m so open to an interabled relationship if that’s what life brings me
I feel like all relationships have some form of care giving. Even with couples who are quite healthy.❤️
Yes very true, oftentimes it's mental health too :)
So true
Well said. I’m married to an able bodied man who seem to break his bones at various times. He’s had 8 hip replacement surgeries before he turned 50. And then was involved in a head on collision on vacation in Africa. Had to be airlifted back here for broken femur, broken ribs and blood clots. Seems I have lived my marriage life in hospitals and rehab centers.
My husband is my caregiver I had a massive stroke which I can't drive nor work as a Rn my memory is a really bad so I will not working as a Rn. Which I am a very independent person and now I went through a very deep depression. So I talk to him as well he is not going to leave me but I told him that he is not a caregiver and I gave him a easy way out then he said he would never ever leave me. 💖💖💖
Before my dad passed in August of 2018, I was his caretaker. He'd had Alzheimer's, prostate cancer, and Parkinson's which caused him to be eventually wheelchair bound literally overnight. My dad was 6'7" and the orderlies couldn't understand how I was able to transfer, bathe him, etc. by myself. I said this... I love my daddykins and asked God for the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the wisdom of Solomon to care for him. Love truly covers a multitude of things. I'm also forever grateful for having family and friend supports to keep the balance. God is good!Because it was very difficult to find or afford outside caretakers. So pretty much it was me. Be blessed. Your positivity is infectious. Thank you. May your love for each other continuously multiply. May God's light in you both brighten the dark places in this world and they be forever positively changed by it.
You're strong and loving! Not many people could handle that.
God bless you.
Beautiful story! God bless you!🙏
Be careful who you choose as a mate. While I was healthy, everything was great in my marriage. When I became ill with an auto-immune disorder, my husband couldn't handle it. He left me with three children to raise. I so admire these two.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Stay strong Sue
Sorry
@@patmebg3794 Thank you. It had a happy ending. I fell in love with my attorney. Together 10 years. Very happy :) Good luck to you and a happy life too!
So sorry to hear that your husband left you.
They are such a cute couple. Cole is sooooo freaking handsome and charisma is freaking gorgeous . . . 💜💚❤💛💙
Well said Charisma and Cole. We all have to take care of each other in marriages and relationships. What all matters is Love ❤️. Sending love and prayers 🙏🏻🙏🏽much love fra Norway 🇳🇴
Cole is lucky to have a woman like Charisma to love him. My wife went blind in 2004 and there were things I had to help her with. When we would go shopping, I would just hold her hand to guide her. I didn’t think about the things that I did for her, I loved her and simply did things for her automatically. I lost her to cancer in 2015 and would do anything to have her back.
That being said, you have to plan to have extra help. I had to work and sometimes late hours and got exhausted. More help would have made my wife’s life better, there are things that I would have liked to have done for her that I did not have time to do.
If Charisma loves Cole the way I loved my wife, then she is not going to tire of taking care of him. But she will need help, especially as she ages and loses the energy that her youth is giving her.
Awe I LOVE this. Absolutely, caregiving never feels like a "chore." As Cole said, we make it fun and that's what I love.
I gotta find me a lady like charisma, she’s so sweet and beautiful...cole congrats buddy you found a awesome lady!
U really need? Come to me...
yall saying how lucky cole is to be with charisma, and he certainly is lucky, charisma is so sweet and beutiful. But what about how lucky charisma is? Please find me someone as kind, funny and handsome as cole.
@@elianab1794 I have a twin brother with c p. He is kind and funny, well smart too !
@@279vs 😂😂😂. Lol, stopp!!
@@279vs You playing matchmaker here or what!!
When he said "don't leave me" n hugs he, jeeez I felt dat🥺❤️
You guys use to be camera shy when it came to pda, I see y’all coming out of your shells and I love it!
I love their PDA.
Has anybody said how much cole looks and acts like chris pratt? Charisma he’s guarding your galaxy girl 👌🏽👍🏽
Sunny M couldn’t agree more
He sounds like him too
That’s it. He does lol
The special thing about your channel is that you talk about the good, the bad, the ugly and I still envy you Charisma. You are beautiful, smart, funny, and have a hot guy. I wish you two the very best 😍
I can only use one of Dr Phil's favorite sayings to tell you what I think of his comment. "You can't fix stupid". Anyone can look at the two of you to see and feel the love you have for each other. My husband and I have been together for over 40 years and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I only hope the same for you and your future family.
Amen! Well said.
I love Cole and Charisma are a beautiful couple. At one point Charisma will get burnt out so they will need to hire someone to come in to bath him and get him ready for bed.
Just like everyone else, I feel like Cole will walk again.
Dr. Phil over stepped a line when he made such an assumption.
They are both adorable-I feel God had a hand in putting those two together. I love this love story. I can feel thier love just by watching the videos. God bless you.
My dad and I both have a unique chronic disease caused Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome (CVS) and my mom is the best caregiver both of us could ever ask for, for this confusing and demanding illness. My dad presented symptoms and had his first episode 16 years ago but he was a medical mystery to every doctor he went to. It wasn't until a Grey's Anatomy episode centered around the rare disease was aired and was recommended to my father by several of people who knew about his symptoms that my dad knew there was a logical explanation to his suffering (doctors already tried removing organs, exploring during surgery and countless other tests for the first 8 years of my dad seeking help). My dad took his newfound knowledge of CVS to one of the handful of specialists in the world at the time, presented his case, and left with a full-proof plan to get started on a diagnosis and medication for "preventative treatment". Now that we know what my dad has, it is very clear to my family and I that I also am affected by CVS. I remember thinking my dad was dying of cancer or some other terminally ill disease when I was growing up because with each late night hospital trip and vomiting episode I saw my big, burly father's skeleton start to unveil itself. Since we have gone on certain meds we both dont have episodes as often or as severe as we once did. My mom has been the constant through this entire journey. I never truly understood how helpless and vulnerable I am during an episode until I didnt have my mom with me during the heat of an attack. Caregivers like Charisma and my mom dont get enough credit. If it werent for my mom, my dad and I would probably be dead. If you know someone like this, thank them.
I’m an SCI nurse, I do this everyday and I’m emotionally and physically exhausted. Much respect for her, I don’t see a lot of relationships last but not every relationship/person are the same. I have so much to say about the matter but all I’m gonna say is Good luck to you both.
Omg!!!! I found your channel on accident. I'm 32, single mom of 2 teen girls. I had a major stroke in November. Still working 67hrs a week to provide for them. You tube recommend your channel... heres the crazy part I live in NEWPORT NEWS!!! SO close and now I can't stop watching the love you both have!! ❤ thank you for the positivity!!! Praying I find someone just the same for me
I just discovered your channel and I've been watching for 2 hours straight when I should be studying (oops). You guys have such fun personalities, it's so fun to watch. I've been smiling for so long, my face hurts.
Omg me too. I love them both such a beautiful couple.
I was a picu nurse until I fell ill at 27yo. Fast forward a decade and I did all I could do to keep working as a nurse but my body could no longer handle it 3yrs ago. I’m now on SSDI and celebrating my 10yr anniversary of being chronically ill this year. I’m 37yo and had to move in with my mom 3yrs ago. My significant other could not handle it. My family is even emotionally abusive. You are truly blessed to have an amazing woman, family, and all around support system at your side. I absolutely adore you two. Beautiful couple and I just love your content. 🙏🏼💗
Cole will walk again.
I don't know when or how, but he'll walk.
God is gonna make a way... Yes yes yes
Maybe in another life
Right i said and feel the same way
Roxanne Williams how is ‘god’ going to make a way for him to walk when your god can’t even regrow an amputees limb. If Cole ever walks it’ll be solely because of science and the efforts of researchers.
Don't single me out because of my belief... I think it's God, u think it's science, either way cole walks again, do we really care how... Nope. Have a scientific night ❤
I don’t have anyone in my life that is special needs but, since I found your channel, I watch your channel religiously. It is not only uplifting, it answers so many questions that I have often wondered and it also makes me realize “a day in the life.” Watching your struggles, triumphs, failures, gains, infectious positivity, and every day life opens up a world I would never have a glimpse of. Where I have seen those in a wheelchair in the past, felt compassion, and said a prayer for them under my breath, it never even crossed my mind the impact a caregiver has on their lives and the lives of the caregiver. Thank you for all that you do to bring us a glimpse of your world.
She genuinely love Cole.. when you love someone it becomes a normal daily task that you do. She cares for him so doing what she does is the norm because it comes from a good place. She not getting paid for this or looking for a reward . She doing out of love. I just love her personality an has a humble spirit bout her self.
Cole, my prayer is that you’re fully restored. You guys are soooooo amazing for one another, and so blessed...
Caregiving is not just physical help and goes both ways. Even in equal abled relationships, one partner may take on certain responsibilities, such as financial planning, while the other partner may take on other roles. It’s about it being a team.
Very well said
Love that response.
Staci Lee ... well said
Staci Lee absolutely! Well said!
From a little old lady in AZ-you guys rock! Thank you for being the beautiful young couple you are. Charisma, you were so right when you stated that at some time in life, we're all going to need care. Steve and I have been married for 37 years. Everything changed six years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went from a dynamic force, the caretaker of our home and hearth, to barely able to walk. From the first moment of my diagnosis, he took over everything-home, cooking, garden, critters, our business, and managing all my appointments to getting me there on time. He thought of every single thing necessary to ensure I had a good outcome. I swear to you, he even controlled the weather to make sure that long 3 hour drive (one way!) to my infusions was smooth sailing. I predict you two will be just as in love 37 years from now as you are right this moment! 💙💚
As a caregiver of a quadriplegic man, I found that the hardest thing was not the work itself, but his frustration that turned to anger directed at me. Everybody is different and I will give you that. However, that was the hardest thing to deal with
Cole being excited to be a dad was adorable! 😭😭😭😭🤩🤩 you dont see that alot nowadays
Love you two. I thrive on positive energy. I was a caregiver to my mom for many years and I understand where Charisma is coming from. Taking care of you is important. Whether you’re caring for a spouse, parent or another significant person in your life, you want nothing short of the very best for them. For me, the love for my mom made it an honor to take care of her, not a burden ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Linda Johnson I have to say.... AMEN! I am a CNA and cared my dad, Mom, and others in the family before I received my certification. I found my self at a young age caring for others. My grandma was a nursing and I have some schooling in healthcare. I loved taking care of my Parents and like you it was an Honor! 😀🙏🏽💙 You want the best for your loved ones. I care for my clients like they are family. Do unto others as you have them do unto you. Taught by a teacher... My mother.😉
Linda Johnson love this!!
Love this 👏
I love how raw and real they are. They do not edit their mistakes when talking. I love that.
He looks at her with so much love in his eyes. What a perfect match
Seeing you guys together makes me happy, stay positive
We’re sooo BORED in the house!! ✨ Love you guys and hope you all are safe and sound through all of this chaos! 💕💜 thanks for sharing some good content for us to enjoy!
Love you guys! It’s such a breath of fresh air to see such young, happy people doing their thang and educating people ❤️
Love that you two communicate so well with each other, that will go a long way. So keep on rolling.
It’s great that you guys discuss all the various possible details of your relationship and most importantly you’ve got family support. Love you guys
Caregiving is what couples do for each other. You have great support. You two are doing everything right.
Their chemistry is so great! I love this!!
I see amazing connection between these two. The way they look at themselves is awesome.
Watching you guys lighten up my day. One can easily see how genuine your love for each other is. The eyes never lies, and all I see is love and respect for each other.
When you love some one you will do every thing you cam for someone you truly love
True and Charisma has shown that during the course of their relationship.
You two are so special and thank you for sharing with us. You don't have to but you do. It's a joy & an honor to be allowed into your world. God bless you always ♡
I really love y’all relationship.❤️❤️ I have watched plenty of you guys videos and they've brought tears to my eyes to see how young and strong both of you are it's truly a blessing to watch.
You Guys Are So Sweet, Matured, And Open Minded May God Bless You 🙏🙏🙏
Friendly reminder: DON’T SKIP THE ADS!❤️
I never skip ads on this channel. Thanks for the reminder.
@@queentinadoire6931 why? do they not get paid if we skip?
lighow I wondered the same thing.
Why
I actually listen to their ads but this is one of the only channels I do that for.
Your morning routine video pop'd up on my feed and I fell in love with you both! 🤗 You guys' energy is infectious and thru the roof! I've been binging during this quarantine although I'm still working both my jobs. One is me driving buses delivering food to the kiddies who are out of school and y'all give me that same feeling of joy in my heart❤ Blessings!
I love how loving, giving and caring you guys parents are. It's all about LOVE ❤
I'm so glad you cleared that up because I was worried for a while but I see you got this thing down to a science. KEEP LOVING EACH OTHER NO MATTER WHAT.
If there is a stronger couple it is you two! You were meant for each other. ❤️from Alaska. 💕
Thank you guys for sharing. My wife agrees that caregiver burn out is real, but after 20 years together I wouldn't want anyone else.
Your relationship with each other is beautiful and your channel is amazing. It greatly portrays how much you guys would do for the person you love and it’s just amazing that you two have each other. You guys are the best!
Your awareness of potential issues and stressors is going to be so helpful in the future. I love you guys tons!! Sending positive vibes ❤️❤️
Charisma as long you take good care of yourself, everything will be fine. Love❣️❣️ you guys
Just saw a video clip on utube, titled " Cole's beautiful voice" I couldn't help but cry tears of joy! The sheer joy on his face and the nurses cheering at the sound of his voice. It is easy to see you were detained for something great. Furthermore, Cole and my 24 yr. old son look so much alike. Charisma and Cole you make my day with each post. You two are the most beautiful couple i have ever seen. Cole, your kind of guy is what I wish my daughter will have for a life partner someday, and I want my son to find someone like Charisma. Blessings!
I've always believed that you guys will be just fine !!! With your love for each other and your positivity there are no doubts!!! You guys are blessed to have a village !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!
I love that you guy plan what to say but not blocked out all the way. Really allows me the watcher to feel like it’s a casual learning experience from you guys (which makes it easier to absorb information better)
Omg both of u r complete angels. Even though u have a disability u don’t let that stop u from finding ways to make sure she is happy and not to overwhelmed with wat all that she does. God bless u both and u can see the luv u have for each other from Mars!!!
You guys are my absolute fav youtubers and give me so much hope as a wheelchair user! I just started a TH-cam channel and am uploading weekly 💕 keep up the amazing work
I love the way they look at each other you can see the love they have for each other. I love her she's so great she's awesome
OMG, you guys make me SO happy when you make a new video! You are such a bright light to so many people. Thank you!
This man cannot keep his googly eyes off you! 🧡 love this!
Jodi Doubleyou ...it’s true and it adorable.
I was raised in a family where care giving is norm. We cared for many family members who had become very ill. Its definitely work BUT its love. When love is involved it helps and God strengthens. You two make an incredible couple. May God continue to bless and strengthen your union.
The way he smiled talking about having children warmed my heart. I hope you guys are doing well during this crazy time!
I found your TH-cam channel like a week ago and after watching the caregiver video I fell in love with you too and went back and started watching your older videos. I am watching them in order from oldest to newest 😂 and all I have to say is that both of you are so inspirational in SO MANY WAYS! both your families are beautiful and caring! And I honestly cannot wait to see your wedding and beautiful mixed babies 💕 you two have a genuine and pure love. A love that I definitely want to find one day too! I hope you continue as humble because I know you two will go far with your channel! So much love and blessings 💕🇲🇽
When u love somebody u just do what u need too. I understand about burn out. But as humorous as Cole is I cant imagine helping him and burn out. I also see where Charisma is coming from. I have fired so many nurses and thought oh hell no your not treating my husband like that! During a 2 yr battle with cancer he had a colostomy and cathetee. She was always in a hurry. At point I saw how many acidic burns he had. That was it out she went. Took months of extra proper care for the burns to clear. Then the remainder 18 mo no burns. The surgeon was amazed.so sometimes a spouse can just do it better. I think u have a awesome team! There was a reason put u together and happy u both have families to help when needed. I love watching your videos. Such a inspiration. Bless u both!
I love how you both work things out together that in itself makes a great relationship and yours is bright Wish you all the best God bless
I love their banter especially the argument about the intro song. That’s real love folks. ❤️
You both are absolutely amazing!! Your love for each other is evident in every video and it shows! Cole your positive outlook on life can teach, even me at 51, how to look at the bright side of things. Seeing you and everything you go thru makes my issues seem small and as odd as that sounds I like that feeling. May God Bless You Both with many years of happiness!!
Love watching ya"ll" true love conquers challenges"
Stay positive
Awwww, love you guys!!! ❤️🤍 I have severe Rheumatoid Arthritis which is crippling most of the time. My boyfriend has been my rock and caregiver with his whole heart. Y’all are such a wonderful example of true strong love. Thanks for the uplifting content! 🥰
Guys this video was extremely well needed, it’s sooo awesome that the both of you are fully equipped with families support. I personally cares for my sister and I am without family support. Plus, Cole has showmanship in his abilities despite his physical-challenges he has the mentally to look for ways to be independent, also the love y’all has for each other will replenish your creativity to function well in a marriage relationship ✅
I love y'all so much, and I wish the both of you a life fill with love and happiness. Please continue to make videos, because you bring so much joy and positive energy to my day. Have a blessed day!
I dont know how I came across you guys, but I'm so glad I did. I've been binge watching. I've had to depend on my husband many of times after complications from my bone marrow transplant (leukemia). But when you love someone that's what you do. Love guys you literally make me smile❤
You guys are so cute I love the way you guys love each other, I definitely know how being a care giver gets to be exhausting bc I took care of my mom, grandmother & dad before their passing but I did it out of love & I wouldn't change a thing, God will continue to give you the strength charisma to care for Cole, may God bless you guys 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
My step grandfather fell off a roof and ended up in a wheelchair. And my step grandmother took care of him for many years. But they was so in love and cute. That's who you 2 remind me of.
You two are such a beautiful couple,when there's love,nothing can break it🙏❤
Right
I love the smiles in the first few seconds.
I just found you guys.... I really appreciate your openness and real...life.
I texted a friends mom to tell her who much I... I love her. I am .. sometimes there’s no words. Thank you. Thank you for putting the real out there.
Wow this video just pop up and I watch it. Never watch such a touching ,loving, refreshing video. God keep blessing the beautiful couple. Love you guys.
You guys are so right!!! I’m an ambassador for Ohio DSPs & I advocate for better pay, the “burn out” working 80 plus hours a week isn’t healthy. Making it fun!!! is the 🔑 . Dr Phil isn’t correct, I work with people who are married and have a disabilities & are very happy 😊! Stay positive
I feel like this relationship is made in heaven and I believe someday I will find love too
Praise the Lord
OMG you guys are amazing. I was my mother's caregiver for 23 years and she was paraplegic from M.S. You guys have a great foundation and such beautiful understanding of each other. Congratulations and God bless 😇🙏
Having the ability to communicate and have honest conversations with each other about how you both feel are a few of the essentials needed in any relationship, no matter the circumstance. I also think humour is a key factor, having fun and being able to laugh with each other is such a blessing. Both of you having such a goofy and hilarious sense of humour will carry you through.❤️🌻❤️🌻❤️🌻❤️🌻❤️🌻
Y'all are such a beautiful couple. Love y'all videos. Stay safe. Much blessings
Love you guys! You are both such amazing people! Stay safe!
Most of the time when watch your videos i do not see a disability.. You both are blessed with loving families also.. and are very positive in every way.
Charisma is absolutely stunning. Her inner beauty really shines through as well. She is so genuine. You both meant for each other. Ying for the yang!💜
I’ve been with my bf(I’m disabled he’s not) and we’ve been together for more than a year
Wish you both love and happiness.