Another enjoyable discourse from Prof Vaknin. What was particularly interesting in the study cited was that DT traits were not all equally related to sexting behaviours. Rather, the authors found that different maladaptive personality traits predict different kinds of sexting behaviors. "Sharing own sexts was predicted by narcissism and Machiavellianism, whereas risky sexting, non-consensual sexting and sexting under pressure were related to psychopathy and Machiavellianism [...] Narcissism did not appear to be related to more negative form of sexting, which were predicted by psychopathy instead." (Morelli, Urbini, Bianchi et al., 2021). I wonder what you make of this finding, Prof Vaknin? In my view, it seems to speak to the differing relationship to control which can be seen amongst different DT configurations. To wit: narcissists are primarily seeking supply, and some illusion of consent or fantasy of deeper intimacy represents 'higher quality' supply. More psychopathically disordered individuals, on the other hand, are primarily 'getting off' on the sense of control and playing the puppetmaster. In more psychoanalytic terms, I'd like to ask whether this can be translated into an attempt to organize the chaotic landscape of internal objects, in other words to allay the anxiety resulting from object inconstancy. Sexting represents a perfect maladaptive remedy to this, as it is relatively easy to do and involves no real-world involvement or risk from the psychopathic/schizoid/autistic subject. It is, in a sense, a microcosm for the disordered relating function; a virtual sandtray for playing with internal objects. Best to you, your colleague and admirer, Marie.
The youth of today are living the consequences of our social epigenetic evolution. They require developmental nurturing and guidance, not judgement. Sadly, their behaviors make absolute sense to me given how they have been led from their elder generations.
I blame social media for this, I'm 34, but I grew up right before the facebook, tinder and pornhub boom, but it is much harder for the ones who grew up during this time, I thank God I didn't have a smartphone with internet access at my finger tips until I was in my late 20s, i can see a big difference in those born in the 80s from those born in the 90s, bless all our hearts though.
Your description, down to the name "babe" which he used for his widowed mother and myself, interchangeably, sounds like my last partner. I met him coming out of a decade long marriage. Spent 5 years with him. He infantilized me. At first it was weird, but as the years, and lockdown progressed, I slipped into the role of child. I escaped, literally, 5 months ago. Changed continents to visit family and didn't return. My question, which I guess I am going to answer, is : does the relationship become non sexual in nature because he has turned her into an innocent child? I had 2 marriages and then this relationship, with men who stopped having sex with me the last few years together. They always said they enjoyed my company but not "that way". Yet the relationships all started as sexual. I have watched many of your videos and have learnt so much. Thank you. I am 53, a woman, and just entered menopause. I do feel liberated. Unlike after previous breakups, I am leading a quiet life, enjoying my hobbies and reading, walking, spending time alone (after a lifetime of living with others. From parents to children to partners. ) I often wonder if I am a dark triad. And if so, it's time to acknowledge and accept that rather than try to pretend in a relationship, and follow their cue on how I should be. As the youngest of 5 siblings and the only girl, I was groomed from a young age to be the infant. To deny my adulthood. It was why I became so promiscuous as q teenager. I thought it was what adults did. Yet my relationships all pushed me back into the role my parents had designated for me, specially my father. He died 8 years ago and it did catalyse the ensuing divorce from my second husband. Only to find myself with another who did the same. I feel I am a preprogrammed robot or avatar. That I repeat the pattern over and over again. My 30 year old son, is patronising me. I moved to be closer to him. So I can see my only true liberation would be to distance myself even from him.
Another enjoyable discourse from Prof Vaknin. What was particularly interesting in the study cited was that DT traits were not all equally related to sexting behaviours. Rather, the authors found that different maladaptive personality traits predict different kinds of sexting behaviors. "Sharing own sexts was predicted by narcissism and Machiavellianism, whereas risky sexting, non-consensual sexting and sexting under pressure were related to psychopathy and Machiavellianism [...] Narcissism did not appear to be related to more negative form of sexting, which were predicted by psychopathy instead." (Morelli, Urbini, Bianchi et al., 2021). I wonder what you make of this finding, Prof Vaknin? In my view, it seems to speak to the differing relationship to control which can be seen amongst different DT configurations. To wit: narcissists are primarily seeking supply, and some illusion of consent or fantasy of deeper intimacy represents 'higher quality' supply. More psychopathically disordered individuals, on the other hand, are primarily 'getting off' on the sense of control and playing the puppetmaster. In more psychoanalytic terms, I'd like to ask whether this can be translated into an attempt to organize the chaotic landscape of internal objects, in other words to allay the anxiety resulting from object inconstancy. Sexting represents a perfect maladaptive remedy to this, as it is relatively easy to do and involves no real-world involvement or risk from the psychopathic/schizoid/autistic subject. It is, in a sense, a microcosm for the disordered relating function; a virtual sandtray for playing with internal objects.
Best to you, your colleague and admirer,
Marie.
I fully concur with all your statements.
The youth of today are living the consequences of our social epigenetic evolution. They require developmental nurturing and guidance, not judgement. Sadly, their behaviors make absolute sense to me given how they have been led from their elder generations.
I blame social media for this, I'm 34, but I grew up right before the facebook, tinder and pornhub boom, but it is much harder for the ones who grew up during this time, I thank God I didn't have a smartphone with internet access at my finger tips until I was in my late 20s, i can see a big difference in those born in the 80s from those born in the 90s, bless all our hearts though.
Your description, down to the name "babe" which he used for his widowed mother and myself, interchangeably, sounds like my last partner.
I met him coming out of a decade long marriage.
Spent 5 years with him.
He infantilized me. At first it was weird, but as the years, and lockdown progressed, I slipped into the role of child.
I escaped, literally, 5 months ago. Changed continents to visit family and didn't return.
My question, which I guess I am going to answer, is : does the relationship become non sexual in nature because he has turned her into an innocent child?
I had 2 marriages and then this relationship, with men who stopped having sex with me the last few years together.
They always said they enjoyed my company but not "that way". Yet the relationships all started as sexual.
I have watched many of your videos and have learnt so much.
Thank you.
I am 53, a woman, and just entered menopause.
I do feel liberated.
Unlike after previous breakups, I am leading a quiet life, enjoying my hobbies and reading, walking, spending time alone (after a lifetime of living with others. From parents to children to partners. )
I often wonder if I am a dark triad. And if so, it's time to acknowledge and accept that rather than try to pretend in a relationship, and follow their cue on how I should be.
As the youngest of 5 siblings and the only girl, I was groomed from a young age to be the infant. To deny my adulthood. It was why I became so promiscuous as q teenager. I thought it was what adults did.
Yet my relationships all pushed me back into the role my parents had designated for me, specially my father.
He died 8 years ago and it did catalyse the ensuing divorce from my second husband.
Only to find myself with another who did the same.
I feel I am a preprogrammed robot or avatar. That I repeat the pattern over and over again.
My 30 year old son, is patronising me.
I moved to be closer to him.
So I can see my only true liberation would be to distance myself even from him.
Keep going and keep strong..you are vert self aware, dont stop
I LOVE the Next Gerneration.
I helplessly HATE the programming being inflicted upon them.
Sam, since a Covert Borderline is one step removed from the Psychopath and the Narcissist, would that make him a Machiavellian in the dark triad?
In the dark tetrad (together with the Borderline).
@@samvaknin Thank you for your answer.
Samurai Vakninja
Is it possible for a narcissist to obtain narcissistic supply from an abusive mother?
Thank you
If she only abusive, if abuse is her only behavioral mode, then no. But watch my video on masochistic covert antinarcissist.