I firmly believe that the current "hookup" culture has destroyed the relationship between men and women. A lot of men now EXPECT a women to hop into bed on the first date. I can still remember a time when there was such a thing as dating, getting to know one another, and THEN getting into a relationship/marriage. I wish we could return to old fashioned values, where sex is reserved for marriage.
Yes lol men are to blame. The one thing which has destroyed the relationship between men and women is this radical feminist movement. always blaming others and never taking blame for your own actions. Your a sexist male demonizing person. Who probably went through something similar to this and now blame the world for your actions without taking any responsibility yourself. Shame on you
+ Heather: "A lot of men now EXPECT a women to hop into bed on the first date." I'd say a lot of WOMEN also EXPECT a man to hop into bed on the first date too. Heck, I'm only "ahem" 39 and "double ahem" turning the big 4-0 next year, but I too remember when there was such a thing as dating. I dated my husband for a full year before we got engaged. And I know that "hooking up" existed long before I came along, but I believe that we Gen Xers kind of got the ball rolling on it. And the result is that this new generation, millennials, take hooking-up to an extreme . I hate to generalize, but it seems that millennials don't seem to know how to "date". They don't seem to know how to have romantic feelings or form stable relationships.
Heather Nolan Well most men (boys) don't go for that. There is a few people I know who don't even want that stuff until after marriage. I see why though, when your married you are more committed rather than just dating which you can easily step away from. Still, I wouldn't say that ALL of them are like that but majority yes.
Return to the times in which a mere biological function was completely needlessly and arbitrarily placed on some imaginary pedestal, which resulted in two people masochistically forcing themselves to suppress their natural urge for each other for a long period of time just to fulfill a societal expectation? How about we DO NOT return to that inane nonsense?
I hate that I got so involved with this culture at such a young age (14). I can now say it's done way more bad for me than good. I have extremely low self esteem and my anxiety and depression have taken over me. I often feel empty and worthless and I still don't have much respect for myself. It's been 3 months since I've last hooked up (which is long for me) and I'm trying to make it my New Years resolution to stay celibate until I find the right person. But it's definitely like quitting a drug, it's really hard to not go back to. I understand why god wants us to wait for marriage, because it really does damage the soul.
HAIL HOLY QUEEN MOTHER OF MERCY MY LIFE, MY SWEETNESS, MY HOPE, YOUR DON'T START FROM WHAT'S MISSING IN YOU BUT FROM WHAT EXISTS FOR YOU GOD BLESS YOUR FRIEND IRELAND, RUAIRI
Bri You are becoming wise early. The only way to root out a vice is to practice the virtues. Do not condemn yourself for your mistakes. I'm Catholic, but I also incorporate some of the teachings of thich nhat hanh, wonderful Buddhist monk. He wrote living Buddha, living Christ. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and practice virtues. In fact Bishop Barron did a study on the 7 lively virtues. Even if you are still practicing a vice, add a virtue, and the vice will eventually fade away. God bless you precious child of God.
+Bri You touch on a point that perhaps, if fleshed out further, could help you in your journey as it has done for me. The Church's teachings on sex are not there so that people will never have sex. Rather, it is so that sex can be fully enjoyed in a complete and loving relationship. The problem with the hookup culture, and even with relationships in general, is that people tend to think that sex is what one should aim for in relationships. This is very short sighted. As you yourself have unfortunately experienced, by treating sex as the end in itself, it has led to a devaluing of one of the most important and valued human acts that comes from a loving relationship, which in turn has led you to experience what you have experienced. Essentially, the Church's teaching is that through abstinence in the short term, you will benefit greatly in the long term. As young people, it is difficult for us to think of what is happening next week, let alone in a few years. However, by trusting in your faith as well as taking responsibility for your actions, abstinence is not only possible, it is hugely rewarding. That last part has been the most important philosophy for me, and it is one that few people are taught from a young age, if at all. We are responsible for our own actions. When we choose to do something, it is not because of an urge we have had. Neither is it because someone else asked us to do it. It is because we ourselves have chosen to do it. By accepting this, we are able to control ourselves far better. So in essence, accept that you are responsible for your own actions and that this is something to take great happiness in. Furthermore, look at what kind of person you want your future husband to be married to. Perhaps it could be a strong, responsible woman who is wise beyond her years! ;)
There are men who feel sickened and uncomfortable with the hookup culture too. It's rather shameful, I think, for us to accept the notion that "hookup culture" is all about female victims and male predators. No, actually, this is something both sexes engage in and are equally responsible for--and clearly, it's not making most people healthy and happy, though I'll grant that some are happy with endless aimless nihilistic screwing.
+Max Kolbe ن Just keep seeking the Father Abba, through his Beloved Son Yahshua and ask for forgiveness for a life of doing it your way walking in the flesh, not getting to know Elohim through Prayer and Petition and talk about your sins. He wants a personal relationship with us so he can commune with Our Bodies and show us the Way on how to understand his Written Word. When we commune with Elohim asking and asking again for guidance and discernment. I like to ask for eyes to see, ears to hear and a heart to understand the signs of the times and how to Navigate them by studying specific sections of the Bible as Prophesy unfolds. Alan Horvath has some great Word studies. Shalom
I agree. However, as a young man, hookup culture is tempting and when you’re at the party, it feels fine and right, and it’s so dominant that it feels like what you’re “supposed” to do. And if you don’t participate people think you’re weird. But that’s the call of Christians - to transform the culture and show that sexuality is indeed good but in the context of love. To promote a culture that includes that psychological bond that precedes sexual acts. To me hookup culture really just lazy. To actually get to know people as whole people, not just as bodies, I think takes some creativity and work, but it’s that endeavor which represents the best that society has to offer.
1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything.
Hookup culture very rarely is mutual. Someone almost always gets hurt, and it happens to both men and women equally. I have seen it to many times, and have been the guilty one to take advantage of another, and had it done to me. When the shoe is on the other foot it is not so innocent after all.
The Hook-up Culture is also very prevalent in the Gay Community, too, and maybe more so. It leaves a very strong void within the Heart (Soul), a sense of emptiness, and not realizing that there's far more to life than availability of sex, gay or straight.
Monarchy is the best!: You are troubled and completely ignorant in the topic. Heterosexual and homosexual are two sides of the same coin. It’s called sexuality. One does not choose it as for most people it’s part of their natural constitution. It’s what one does with sexual desire that matters. Your hateful and completely ignorant comment is degenerate. People like you who call themselves so called religious are everything BUT religious, everything BUT Christ-like. You are lost. And what’s scary is that you think you know it all.
Amen. I’ve felt this painful sadness of the heart many times. In fact, so often, that this alone can send me down the path of chastity. It’s an awful feeling, indeed
Thank you Bishop Barron, for addressing this issue of today's "pick up culture." I am a 59 year old woman who came face to face with that culture during it's beginning in the 60's & 70's. I was a child of very religious 50's parents & when I began to meet up with this, I couldn't deal with it so I walked away from dating out of fear. I am now a 59 year old single person who is basically alone but I can't afford rent so I live with a friend. who had simalar issues. We are both Catholic & NOT gay but due to today's moral label's I feel we get branded with that no matter what. The main point is that I am alone now, no family & I fear that God will see my life as a waist. This "hook up" culture has been very damaging in so many ways. I thank you for talking about it & warning young people of the damage it causes. God bless!
Honey, sacrificing dating because you don't want to offend God us not a waste but you are actually storing up treasures for yourself in heaven and I'm sorry people regarded you and your friend that way. If you ever feel lonely, just talk to Jesus. Trust me you'll love it.
When I read, "I feel nostalgia for times I have never lived in," it surprised me because that's exactly the phrase that I say. It is sad to think that many people just don't know how much more fulfilling it is to live in chasity or understand the full meaning of it.
Fr Barron, you're a little brave to approach a subject that often doesn’t like to tread on Sacred ground. You've used logic, philosophy, religion, common sense to tackle this area of misunderstanding. Another thing that crossed my mind when watching this video, well what about the consequences? Like unexpected pregnancies? Let me guess the guy is going to be totally understanding, accept this new life, and work on getting married. Or is he going to bolt, not take responsibility and suggest abortion as the quick fix? (Mind you it’s the female that has to undergo this inconvenience, not the male) . Sex, I believe has more fulfillment in a married state, where the bond is made up of love and not convenience, hence the Hookup Culture. Maybe the Church is not so old fashioned after all?
There are women who want abort the baby too. Please don't blame only men because women also want to bail on responsibility and indulge in pleasure, which sounds from your comment that only men get pleasure... no, women too.
As a Catholic I totally agree with everything Fr. Bishop Barron said. The purpose of Sex instituted by Christ is for the exclusive act within marriage, to pro create and intimacy with your spouse. Those who participate in the hook up culture obviously do not follow the Christian purposes of sex either because they are non- practicing Christians or they are not Christian. So again, how you understand sex boils down to who you are . But I would like to point out that in my opinion, even if you are not a Christian , casual sex will always leave you with negative feelings. Its like as humans, we are wired for exclusivity with LOVE when engaging in sex. As a happily married woman of 20 years, i have enjoyed the bountiful fruits of sex within its Christian purposes .
And, if it is possible for someone to have sexual intercourse without being attached, then that is a sign of the horrible wounds and scar tissue in their hearts. GOD, please have Mercy on us. May the defiler spirits not overcome our precious human brothers and sisters!
N. M. C. Verhaeghe Yes! Even where both parties profess free and willing participation, and that a 'good time' is being had there can be a lot of self-delusion at work and repression of true needs.
The damage, if exists, is ALWAYS caused by selfish actions of one of the parties involved. Either one person was told from the start that the relationship with stay on sex alone but still decided to keep unrealistic expectations and hence brought the damage onto themselves (newsflash: nobody forced them to accept such a deal), or the other person was lying by either implying or by making promises of something more than just casual sex, which they never intended to fulfill. But yes, blame the "culture". People should never be blamed or in any way held responsible for their actions.
This really is a major problem for young women. In my day it was "Sex and the City," now it's "Girls," but every generation since the layer 60s has been told that casual sex is fun, having it makes them "free spirits," yet this philosophy runs counter to both religion and biology. Females simply don't naturally feel the need to mate with multiple partners, especially when they barely know those partners. However, popular media makes young women feel weird or prudish when they feel used instead of empowered after one night stands and when they express desire for relationships over hook-ups. I've had several friends who became near-suicidal (one actually attempted it but thankfully was unsuccessful) because they felt so used and like worthless pieces of meat from casual sex. Part of the push for hook-up, in my opinion, comes from the postponement of marriage. Since we expect young women to not only graduate college but grad school, establish careers, and then look for husbands, these women may be in their late 20s-30s before they are given permission from society to settle down. The Sexual Revolution (and later the "safe sex" movement) taught that as long as pregnancy was prevented, sex should be viewed as nothing more than a fun way to pass a half an hour or so. Only freaks let emotions get in the way. However, most women do develop feelings for the men who share their bodies (sexual bonds tend to create these feelings prematurely and with false intensity, often causing the women to stay with men they otherwise would not have chosen without the sexual bond). This may sounds sexist, but the sexes aren't biologically equal. It's in the male's best interest biologically to "spread his seed," but for the female, it's in her best interest to find one male who will provide for her relatively few offspring and stick around. Even the secular world can see that "hook-up culture" runs against our inherited nature. I wish I knew what the solution to this mess was. If enough young women decided not to have meaningless sex, there would be a "herd immunity" in which young men would know not to pursue it until they were in committed relationships. However, the situation right now is that if a young woman refuses sex, there are 1,000 other girls who will take her place, and she'll be alone at home. Since I am a married woman in my 30s , I can look back and see that it's far better to be alone than with someone who is just using you for sex. However, as a teen, few things seem worse than being the only person at high school/university without a boyfriend/girlfriend. No one (or very few) wants to return to shaming girls into waiting until marriage, especially since marriage now comes later and later in life. However, it seems that girls are told one of two things: either wait until marriage unless they want to be thought of as "loose women," or just wear condoms and have a good time. The only way I can see young women waiting until marriage is if we encouraged them to marry during their university years (something I'm fine with but many others discourage). The "free love" ideal just leads to broken hearts, unplanned pregnancies, and mental/physical health crisis.
"Females simply don't naturally feel the need to mate with multiple partners," In any society which does not have the stigma on female promiscuity and where women have the full autonomy over their bodies and reproductive choices (any culture that is not patriarchal), they are actually very happy to mate with multiple partners. Not natural my ass.
The impulse to 'spread his seed' I think is actually a misunderstanding by a lot of people, of male sexuality. Its true in one sense, but actually, the sex drive in men can be harnessed as a method of bonding in a relationship. Women especially just dont seem to understand that men crave sex because they crave affection, sensuality, validation and free expression of their naturally aggressive (or passionate) impulse; which is so often seen as unacceptable in their natural and naked form. They have to be adjusted or expressed in some other way..which exacerbates the problem. There is nothing wrong with men pursuing sex with intensity, the problem is that they just aren't getting a respectful education and dare I suggest support, in the deeper aspects of their being and so exist and interpret the world, as a power hungry, high torque motor, on meagre rations of 'spiritual' and philosophical fuel. The so what, is that women are now being taught that they can have whatever they want and men are being demonised and told they're not good enough.
This began with the arrival of the "Pill" in the 60's and the subsequent philosophy of free love. As an elder who lived through those times, I can promise free love is NOT freedom. It is slavery, and as the decades pass, the coming of wisdom brings sorrow over a youth squandered on a lie which produced not freedom, but suffering.
Certain moral absolutes appear within our experience. Examples abound: the sexual abuse of children is always wrong; the direct killing of the innocent is always wrong; slavery is always wrong; the exploitation of the weak is always wrong, etc. These are like logical absolutes--the whole is always greater than any of its parts; I think therefore I am--or like mathematical absolutes--2 + 2 is 4, etc. To deny these is to invite moral and intellectual chaos.
I got embroiled in this hook up culture despite some significant part of my conscience knowing it was wrong in my late teens. Then I got into a good relationship by the time I had just turned 20. Those first 2 years were some of my happiest until I started to fall into this trap of hook up culture and that lead me into doing things that I never imagined I would knowingly do. Fucked up that relationship and then messed up another one after that. I spent the next 4 years after that immersed in that hook up culture and It always ends up making you feel worse. Last time I hooked up, I just felt bad and almost empty inside despite the woman making me feel momentarily good. Hookup culture is accepted in culture but it will lead you down a moral decline. My advice to anyone is fight back against your worst instincts and form a healthy relationship with 1 woman and do your best to maintain that healthy relationship and build a nuclear family if you can.
It feels good to hear your speak again Fr. Barron, thousands of us on TH-cam really look up to and rely on your wisdom and insight. Thank you for this excellent post!!
I've learned that the biblical & traditional ways are the best, I've given up on immortality for ever, my life is very blessed as a result, God will bless you if u obey his decrees and curse u if u don't. That's what I've learned...
Casual sex is like a business transaction. Its a deal that two parties sign and once the process is completed the two parties serve no purpose to each other anymore. From a business point of view, its a win-win situation. But are human beings just some business deals we expect to get some profit out of? Is reducing sex to a transaction in the name of convenience really something to feel empowered about? Is this how you want to treat people - like some sex objects to fulfil your needs?
The words of Chesterton ring true: "The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected."
Long day at work, followed by a very loud rehearsal. Thought I would relax by checking to see if you had posted a new video. Glad I did. Thank you father, another gem. Pax
Paul said that there are many things we are free to do in this life but very few of these things are actually for our benefit.......this is what's going on with hook up culture, you're free to engage in that behaviour but ultimately it will harm rather than liberate.
You know what would have made me happy? If the article I was critiquing had made even a tiny gesture in the direction of objectivity. The problem is that it simply bracketed any objective moral context for sexuality. It was all a matter of "freedom" and "self-expression" and "self-reliance." We can get to the fullness of Catholic truth another time; I'm just looking for a simple acknowledgement that there is something to human sexuality beyond "being yourself."
Well said Fr. Barron! Sadness of the heart is exactly what this hook-up/no commitment culture is bringing about today. I've always liked Bob Dylan too!!! One of my favorites! His songs were astute!
Freedom to take what you want from whomever you want to take it from leads to a sense of personal power; this is the aphrodisiac that feeds hookup culture. The problem is that once you have achieved the skills needed to take whatever you want from everyone else, you are entirely selfish and entirely alone. And this is exactly how beings made to participate in a generous, humble communion with God define what it means to be in hell.
So refreshing to find a heavyweight intellectual from the catholic tradition, pondering relevant questions in a modern accessible media as TH-cam. Well done!
You're right: we have been over this a number of times. You seem to have an allergic reaction to the word "absolute." In agreeing that the things I've mentioned are wrong (and I assume you mean that they admit of no exeptions), then you have conceded my point. Just don't use the word "absolute" if it bothers you. And Jon, unless you come, finally, to some values that simply appear as self-evidently good, you are caught in the problem of the infinite regress.
I'll admit I'm in a bubble the minute you admit you're in one too. Then once we get over this psychological distraction, we can return to real argument.
Father, thank you for your ministry and life of service. The singular Catholic message for young people regarding purity is devotion to Our Blessed Mother. We have in the Roman and Communion of Catholic traditions, testimonies and treatises from the saints that explain the grace of purity requires devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. That is Our Lord's arrangement. Now more than ever, all Catholics should consecrate their mind and senses to Jesus through Our Lady!
Love your videos. Admire your ministry. And hope one day to meet you, but I'm sure I'm in a long line of those eager to meet you. I'm 50 and I'm watching my brilliant and beautiful agnostic daughter of 25 live and embrace this attitude. unfortunately, I was her role model. I'm afraid we get old fast, and wise, too late, and this makes me very sad.
I'm so sad I thought this was normal back then. I thank God and the beauty of the Catholic faith for recently showing me the truth of what it means to love: to will the good of the other :] The fact that the hookup culture is so normal among young people truly demonstrates how much of a genius Satan is. Freedom, peace, fulfillment, and joy comes from doing God's will! Not from using others for sexual pleasure!
Enrich your body and soul with experiences that will elevate its value. Having more sexual experience will not be one of those, as you overuse your body and emotions, it will already be exhausted, anxious, and full of negative emotions when the right man or woman comes.
My conversations are with young women who are frustrated and depressed that no one wants to ‘date’ any more, that romance seems to be dead. Not for everybody, but enough that a lot of young people are seriously unhappy.
Father, one great thing about your series is you're bringing the Chesterton club spirit to the internet via TH-cam. A self-congratulatory, Ayn Rand-worshipping, Calvinism-tinged toxic culture such as ours seemingly has little space for the public forum discussion anymore. Respectable debate seems impossible and to naturally devolve into one-liner quips and platitudes(see velourkungen below)or shouting matches. As a once Chesterton Club president, it's so refreshing to see Uncommon Sense is back
I tried having a "no strings attached" relationship with this girl. We were both in a serious long-term relationship. I very quickly fell in love with her and all sorts of dark and terrible things followed suit. And after two years of us getting on and off, I can safely say that 1) there is no such thing as "casual" sex. 2) I've never been as low as I am now. The last two years have been filled with incredible amounts of unfulfilled desire, multiple cases of continuosly broken heart (for almost all participants) and terrible amount of suffering. The worst thing about this sort of "casual" relationship is that there is no responsibility for anything. "You feel bad? Not my problem, we are not in a serious relationship where I would feel obliged to care for you, remember?" It's filled with selfishness and breeds immense amounts of suffering. I've wounded people most close to me. And you don't ever want to feel this amount of guilt, let alone combined with unsatiable desire for someone who fcked your life up. Stay away from anything resembling a "casual" relationship!!! I am lost in it, but you don't have to be.
A few years ago I got condemned by a young lady when I pointed out to her that this hook-up thing is not good. I realize now that the way I expressed this to her was insensitive and obtuse, especially given my own former lack of restraint. Nevertheless, I did not have the intention of "judging" or blaming her, just pointing out the cause-effect relationship regarding this particular matter, and where it leads, that it isn't beneficial. I hope in the future I can handle these types of issues when they come up with greater maturity and knowledge.
I really respect the way you have put this across. However, I have had this experience as well with multiple ladies and the problem is they all seem to think it is okay and will call you a misogynist just because you have a different opinion.
Well said. Unfortunately, people today are blind by this culture and they would not or could not listen to this entire video. Blessings to you Bishop Baron.
Our culture encourages skepticism toward religious ideas, but uncritical acceptance of secularism and relativism. Our culture has completely obliterated the meaning of sexuality and indeed has left a confused and disoriented populace trying to get by on ideas like "whatever feels good." This is not only less than what the dignity of the person deserves, it is frequently, perhaps always, less than what he or she truly desires.
I love Father Barron because I disagree with him. However, hold on, his arguments and assessments are always respectful, thoughtful, and sincere. Whereas I come across a few people here and there who want to debate and WIN, regardless of friendship, Father Barron shows us that DISCUSSION is worthwhile and amazing. Thank you for all these videos. Like I said, I disagree with almost everything you say, but I respect everything you say.
In movies and real life many people will first have sex and then try to start a relationship. This does not make sense at all. You are going to be intimate with someone you really don't know and then hope you fall in love? I remember the excitement of first meeting and liking someone and slowly watching it grow. The hope and happiness that it gives is way better than sexual satisfaction. To me it is.
2 years late, but nah, that's just Western movies. Plenty of stories outside the West don't do it. Although I can't say the same for real life love lives. Maybe in Islamic countries, that still might be the case. I've known at least one newly wed couple in my birth city, still outside of the West, who actually married without having intercourse before because the wife had faith in God, and followed through it. God bless the couple.
Well, the world can say anything, we, as parents, we can educate our kids the way we consider is the best, hope God and our Lady help them to overcome all those things, at least is we try to teach them, thanks a lot B Barron
Correction: I should have said "they DENY its true purpose". Catholics are they only ones who don't have a problem with sex. We just have a problem with sin.
Your Excellency, thank you very much for your clear explanations about the trap of hook-up; it is an ever-present danger to drag those attempting it into bondage.
So sad to know about this. Values are buried away and it becomes a meat market. I wasn’t even allowed to hold hands with anyone! What a world we live in 😔
I notice that H.Rosin appears on my local radio station less than 24 hours after when this video was filed. Thanks for the heads up on what she's been doing.
@@gw437 I'm not surprised. It's pretty nuts. On one hand, our culture seems to insist upon desacralizing sex as much as possible. Yet if you question anyone's sexual privileges, all of a sudden sex becomes the most important thing in the world and we hear about it endlessly in our media and social media feeds (and classrooms from my experience) day in and day out. "Erotophobia is a Patriarchal strategy to oppress women" and all that. This one aspect of life--which actually has a limited function--utterly dominates the discourse. Consequently, as you point out, these other aspects of life fall by the wayside.
I have no quarrel with your saying that you find my reasonings unconvincing. For that could say as much about you as about my reasonings. What I was objecting to was the insinuation that I was engaging in a mere appeal to authority. And Jon, the implied psychological criticism that I'm just "reverse engineering" things holds absolutely no water, for it applies every bit as much to you. Secularism is, after all, an ideology with its own "long tradition."
Great video. The endless quest for complete egalitarianism has turned into something really ugly, just as it always does. Also, I'd just like to say that your videos have done as much if not more than my local church has done to instil faith in me again after years of atheism. I couldn't shake the feeling that this world is sick but you have put so many things in perspective for me. Thanks for everything, Father.
My knowledge about my own gender was so clouded due to the ideas about women of the woman you're talking about. I had such a screwed up idea that I thought I was liberating myself by being abrasive and forward, even though it felt wrong intuitively. I didn't grow up religious, but I remember after I became Catholic, one night in prayer, crying to the virgin Mother, almost angrily, about why she wasn't there for me, why I didn't know of her, when I was younger, before I made foolish decisions.
I've seen that hookup culture has destroyed people's capacity to deal with problems. Most women I know get into relationships that last between 1 month and half a year and then they break up because a couple problems appeared.
I disagreed with Bishop Barron on one of his previous videos on living a childfree life. Here I agree with him. To be fair, my generation (the GenXers) kind of got the whole hook-up thing going. Before I was married, I did a few one-nighters . But I now think that there is a culture of hook-ups and this younger generation has taken it too far. I hate to slam millennials here, but I think that because they believe in this whole hook-up thing, they don't know how to form stable relationships. They don't know how to "date" anymore. Texting has replaced actual communications and "sexting" has replaced true romantic emotions.
+BassPlayerSusan Agreed regarding the 'romance is dead' point. I believe this has to do with two big points. 1) Universities. The universities openly advocate to sleep around with as many people as you want. As long as you practice so called 'safe sex', you will be fine. It's just a bit of fun, right? Condoms on request as well as handing them out to everyone on the campuses are very common. 20 years ago, it was commonplace for someone of my age (24) to be married and perhaps have one if not two children on the way. Now, the college life is extended into the mid to late twenties, essentially extending childhood. 2) Parenting. We have come into an age where liberal (one could argue leftist) parenting is getting more and more common place. It is rare for a family of teenagers to attend Church. Children are not taught the value of responsibility, rather that everything should be given to them (ie. rights).Parents do not discipline children and prefer to let them 'roam free'. That's my little rant :)
The damage to males wasn't mentioned. They will also suffer from the sadness of the heart but, will be manifest in possibly some different outwardly destructive ways. Also, not mentioned is that when one is in the "hook up" mode, he or she is missing so many good things in life they deserve and wasting their short precious life.
Unfortunately what the Bishop says is too true. A very close friend of mine who was and still is a very kind-hearted woman got into hook up culture and she has become so confused in her romantic pursuits. Shes become dismally depressed but she cannot see the love and deep connection she is looking for cannot be found in casual sex. I hope more young women see this video.
I am not building off of my feelings. I was an agnostic for a part of my life, I'm willing to go wherever truth is. But I'd have to deny truth itself if I acknowledged materialism to be true. I'm using reason, not feelings.
Ok, in steps: Thesis: In order to affirm materialism you have to deny that human persons exist. If human persons don't exist, there is no one to recognize their own existence, or explore science, since both recognition and knowledge are acts that must be willed. Therefore, materialism is false by the very basis of our own willed recognitions and actions. 1) In materialism, reality is confined to the strictly material and thus precludes the immaterial (consciousness) from interacting with the
As a 21 year old, I can confirm this culture certainly exists. There is no commitment, effort or meaning. I wish people my age and younger seek relationships that are meaningful and strong where sexual activities then carry on with more purpose. Restraint equals satisfaction later.
The sex is usually acted on while drunk. And then the morning comes. There is the embarrassment and humiliation, a strange feeling of being estranged from yourself, as if somehow the act of hooking-up separated you not only from the person you were with, but from yourself too, somehow, But your're not sure how or why or what to call it? Some call it a little death. Perhaps the person, to discover the source of the emptiness, peruses sex more and more, the estrangement and sadness grows deeper.
Multiple de facto marriages (consummation) followed by de facto divorces leads to future marriage instability (from habituation of a divorce mentality) which puts strain on resulting children (from de facto or de jure marriages) of the future, not to mention society at large.
I liked her comment savvy headhunters, very amusing. How worthy is this man? In measuring every man, there is always someone better or worse, but nobody to really love, just temporary stock moving through a warehouse. Off course many find their warehouses empty and old stock has moved on and become worthless.
St. Jerome, in the fifth century (I believe) wrote: The Apostolic See accepts married men to be Priests provided they live no longer as husbands to their wives." and marriage has never been allowed after ordination, if a single man was ordained he had to practice celibacy. The Church imposed a fine on Priests who married, yet Priests started to pay the fine and marry anyway and this led to corruption. Single priests who were already ordained started taking mistresses and corruption occurred.
After being truly converted and under the control of the Holy Spirit those lusts disapear. Our focus and desires are replaced by the New Nature God provides.
Is this claim of yours something that you know absolutely or not? If so, you undermine your own argument; if not, it's just one not very convincing opinion among many.
I firmly believe that the current "hookup" culture has destroyed the relationship between men and women. A lot of men now EXPECT a women to hop into bed on the first date. I can still remember a time when there was such a thing as dating, getting to know one another, and THEN getting into a relationship/marriage. I wish we could return to old fashioned values, where sex is reserved for marriage.
I'm not even religious and I can easily see that it doesn't benefit anyone in the long run.
Yes lol men are to blame. The one thing which has destroyed the relationship between men and women is this radical feminist movement. always blaming others and never taking blame for your own actions. Your a sexist male demonizing person. Who probably went through something similar to this and now blame the world for your actions without taking any responsibility yourself. Shame on you
+ Heather: "A lot of men now EXPECT a women to hop into bed on the first date." I'd say a lot of WOMEN also EXPECT a man to hop into bed on the first date too. Heck, I'm only "ahem" 39 and "double ahem" turning the big 4-0 next year, but I too remember when there was such a thing as dating. I dated my husband for a full year before we got engaged.
And I know that "hooking up" existed long before I came along, but I believe that we Gen Xers kind of got the ball rolling on it. And the result is that this new generation, millennials, take hooking-up to an extreme . I hate to generalize, but it seems that millennials don't seem to know how to "date". They don't seem to know how to have romantic feelings or form stable relationships.
Heather Nolan Well most men (boys) don't go for that. There is a few people I know who don't even want that stuff until after marriage. I see why though, when your married you are more committed rather than just dating which you can easily step away from. Still, I wouldn't say that ALL of them are like that but majority yes.
Return to the times in which a mere biological function was completely needlessly and arbitrarily placed on some imaginary pedestal, which resulted in two people masochistically forcing themselves to suppress their natural urge for each other for a long period of time just to fulfill a societal expectation?
How about we DO NOT return to that inane nonsense?
Hapiness comes from meaning not from pleasure. Shallowness is not meaningfull, love is.
Voy a robarte esa frase, esta muy buena.
Terapia Carrillo I agree
wow!! that’s a great explanation 🤯
Exactly!! Hookup culture is debtcherry.
"Blessed are the pure at heart, for they shall see God." - Mt 5:8
Thanks so much for that. May God continue to bless you.
I hate that I got so involved with this culture at such a young age (14). I can now say it's done way more bad for me than good. I have extremely low self esteem and my anxiety and depression have taken over me. I often feel empty and worthless and I still don't have much respect for myself. It's been 3 months since I've last hooked up (which is long for me) and I'm trying to make it my New Years resolution to stay celibate until I find the right person. But it's definitely like quitting a drug, it's really hard to not go back to. I understand why god wants us to wait for marriage, because it really does damage the soul.
HAIL HOLY QUEEN MOTHER OF MERCY MY LIFE, MY SWEETNESS, MY HOPE, YOUR DON'T START FROM WHAT'S MISSING IN YOU BUT FROM WHAT EXISTS FOR YOU GOD BLESS YOUR FRIEND IRELAND, RUAIRI
Bri You are becoming wise early. The only way to root out a vice is to practice the virtues. Do not condemn yourself for your mistakes. I'm Catholic, but I also incorporate some of the teachings of thich nhat hanh, wonderful Buddhist monk. He wrote living Buddha, living Christ. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and practice virtues. In fact Bishop Barron did a study on the 7 lively virtues. Even if you are still practicing a vice, add a virtue, and the vice will eventually fade away. God bless you precious child of God.
cindy dieball thank you xx
+Bri You touch on a point that perhaps, if fleshed out further, could help you in your journey as it has done for me.
The Church's teachings on sex are not there so that people will never have sex. Rather, it is so that sex can be fully enjoyed in a complete and loving relationship. The problem with the hookup culture, and even with relationships in general, is that people tend to think that sex is what one should aim for in relationships. This is very short sighted.
As you yourself have unfortunately experienced, by treating sex as the end in itself, it has led to a devaluing of one of the most important and valued human acts that comes from a loving relationship, which in turn has led you to experience what you have experienced.
Essentially, the Church's teaching is that through abstinence in the short term, you will benefit greatly in the long term. As young people, it is difficult for us to think of what is happening next week, let alone in a few years. However, by trusting in your faith as well as taking responsibility for your actions, abstinence is not only possible, it is hugely rewarding.
That last part has been the most important philosophy for me, and it is one that few people are taught from a young age, if at all. We are responsible for our own actions. When we choose to do something, it is not because of an urge we have had. Neither is it because someone else asked us to do it. It is because we ourselves have chosen to do it. By accepting this, we are able to control ourselves far better.
So in essence, accept that you are responsible for your own actions and that this is something to take great happiness in. Furthermore, look at what kind of person you want your future husband to be married to. Perhaps it could be a strong, responsible woman who is wise beyond her years! ;)
god isn't real
There are men who feel sickened and uncomfortable with the hookup culture too. It's rather shameful, I think, for us to accept the notion that "hookup culture" is all about female victims and male predators. No, actually, this is something both sexes engage in and are equally responsible for--and clearly, it's not making most people healthy and happy, though I'll grant that some are happy with endless aimless nihilistic screwing.
Dean, you are so right. Both genders are to blame.
+Max Kolbe ن Just keep seeking the Father Abba, through his Beloved Son Yahshua and ask for forgiveness for a life of doing it your way walking in the flesh, not getting to know Elohim through Prayer and Petition and talk about your sins. He wants a personal relationship with us so he can commune with Our Bodies and show us the Way on how to understand his Written Word. When we commune with Elohim asking and asking again for guidance and discernment. I like to ask for eyes to see, ears to hear and a heart to understand the signs of the times and how to Navigate them by studying specific sections of the Bible as Prophesy unfolds. Alan Horvath has some great Word studies. Shalom
@Joe Smith TH-cam was also made by Jews, Jesus was also a Jew, your religion was made by JEWS
They aren't happy for long... especially when the hooking up stops 🤫
I agree. However, as a young man, hookup culture is tempting and when you’re at the party, it feels fine and right, and it’s so dominant that it feels like what you’re “supposed” to do. And if you don’t participate people think you’re weird. But that’s the call of Christians - to transform the culture and show that sexuality is indeed good but in the context of love. To promote a culture that includes that psychological bond that precedes sexual acts. To me hookup culture really just lazy. To actually get to know people as whole people, not just as bodies, I think takes some creativity and work, but it’s that endeavor which represents the best that society has to offer.
Absolutely addicted to Bishop Barron's videos. I've learned so much
1 Corinthians 6:12
“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything.
Hookup culture very rarely is mutual. Someone almost always gets hurt, and it happens to both men and women equally. I have seen it to many times, and have been the guilty one to take advantage of another, and had it done to me. When the shoe is on the other foot it is not so innocent after all.
Well said.
The Hook-up Culture is also very prevalent in the Gay Community, too, and maybe more so. It leaves a very strong void within the Heart (Soul), a sense of emptiness, and not realizing that there's far more to life than availability of sex, gay or straight.
Was there ever a sense of chastity in the gay community?
+Rick Agard very few get it...the sense of Chastity.
Monarchy is the best!:
You are troubled and completely ignorant in the topic. Heterosexual and homosexual are two sides of the same coin. It’s called sexuality. One does not choose it as for most people it’s part of their natural constitution. It’s what one does with sexual desire that matters. Your hateful and completely ignorant comment is degenerate. People like you who call themselves so called religious are everything BUT religious, everything BUT Christ-like. You are lost. And what’s scary is that you think you know it all.
@@mzoesp You seem to be ignorant of the science of homosexuality friend. Read and think.
Amen. I’ve felt this painful sadness of the heart many times. In fact, so often, that this alone can send me down the path of chastity. It’s an awful feeling, indeed
God bless you. It's very easy for those who've been in that scene to relapse, but have faith and hope. Don't ever give up. You're a hero.
Thank you Bishop Barron, for addressing this issue of today's "pick up culture." I am a 59 year old woman who came face to face with that culture during it's beginning in the 60's & 70's. I was a child of very religious 50's parents & when I began to meet up with this, I couldn't deal with it so I walked away from dating out of fear. I am now a 59 year old single person who is basically alone but I can't afford rent so I live with a friend. who had simalar issues. We are both Catholic & NOT gay but due to today's moral label's I feel we get branded with that no matter what. The main point is that I am alone now, no family & I fear that God will see my life as a waist. This "hook up" culture has been very damaging in so many ways. I thank you for talking about it & warning young people of the damage it causes. God bless!
Honey, sacrificing dating because you don't want to offend God us not a waste but you are actually storing up treasures for yourself in heaven and I'm sorry people regarded you and your friend that way. If you ever feel lonely, just talk to Jesus. Trust me you'll love it.
When I read, "I feel nostalgia for times I have never lived in," it surprised me because that's exactly the phrase that I say. It is sad to think that many people just don't know how much more fulfilling it is to live in chasity or understand the full meaning of it.
Fr Barron, you're a little brave to approach a subject that often doesn’t like to tread on Sacred ground. You've used logic, philosophy, religion, common sense to tackle this area of misunderstanding.
Another thing that crossed my mind when watching this video, well what about the consequences? Like unexpected pregnancies? Let me guess the guy is going to be totally understanding, accept this new life, and work on getting married. Or is he going to bolt, not take responsibility and suggest abortion as the quick fix? (Mind you it’s the female that has to undergo this inconvenience, not the male) .
Sex, I believe has more fulfillment in a married state, where the bond is made up of love and not convenience, hence the Hookup Culture. Maybe the Church is not so old fashioned after all?
There are women who want abort the baby too. Please don't blame only men because women also want to bail on responsibility and indulge in pleasure, which sounds from your comment that only men get pleasure... no, women too.
As a Catholic I totally agree with everything Fr. Bishop Barron said. The purpose of Sex instituted by Christ is for the exclusive act within marriage, to pro create and intimacy with your spouse. Those who participate in the hook up culture obviously do not follow the Christian purposes of sex either because they are non- practicing Christians or they are not Christian. So again, how you understand sex boils down to who you are . But I would like to point out that in my opinion, even if you are not a Christian , casual sex will always leave you with negative feelings. Its like as humans, we are wired for exclusivity with LOVE when engaging in sex.
As a happily married woman of 20 years, i have enjoyed the bountiful fruits of sex within its Christian purposes .
You don't have to complete a marriage by having children.
Hookup culture always causes damage because rarely is there one situation where one of the two parties involved is not attached to the other.
And, if it is possible for someone to have sexual intercourse without being attached, then that is a sign of the horrible wounds and scar tissue in their hearts. GOD, please have Mercy on us. May the defiler spirits not overcome our precious human brothers and sisters!
N. M. C. Verhaeghe Yes! Even where both parties profess free and willing participation, and that a 'good time' is being had there can be a lot of self-delusion at work and repression of true needs.
The damage, if exists, is ALWAYS caused by selfish actions of one of the parties involved. Either one person was told from the start that the relationship with stay on sex alone but still decided to keep unrealistic expectations and hence brought the damage onto themselves (newsflash: nobody forced them to accept such a deal), or the other person was lying by either implying or by making promises of something more than just casual sex, which they never intended to fulfill.
But yes, blame the "culture". People should never be blamed or in any way held responsible for their actions.
Father Barron, you are simply right/correct, its amazing, I'm watching this, feeling, yes, yes, YES, hahaha.
This really is a major problem for young women. In my day it was "Sex and the City," now it's "Girls," but every generation since the layer 60s has been told that casual sex is fun, having it makes them "free spirits," yet this philosophy runs counter to both religion and biology. Females simply don't naturally feel the need to mate with multiple partners, especially when they barely know those partners. However, popular media makes young women feel weird or prudish when they feel used instead of empowered after one night stands and when they express desire for relationships over hook-ups. I've had several friends who became near-suicidal (one actually attempted it but thankfully was unsuccessful) because they felt so used and like worthless pieces of meat from casual sex.
Part of the push for hook-up, in my opinion, comes from the postponement of marriage. Since we expect young women to not only graduate college but grad school, establish careers, and then look for husbands, these women may be in their late 20s-30s before they are given permission from society to settle down. The Sexual Revolution (and later the "safe sex" movement) taught that as long as pregnancy was prevented, sex should be viewed as nothing more than a fun way to pass a half an hour or so. Only freaks let emotions get in the way. However, most women do develop feelings for the men who share their bodies (sexual bonds tend to create these feelings prematurely and with false intensity, often causing the women to stay with men they otherwise would not have chosen without the sexual bond). This may sounds sexist, but the sexes aren't biologically equal. It's in the male's best interest biologically to "spread his seed," but for the female, it's in her best interest to find one male who will provide for her relatively few offspring and stick around. Even the secular world can see that "hook-up culture" runs against our inherited nature.
I wish I knew what the solution to this mess was. If enough young women decided not to have meaningless sex, there would be a "herd immunity" in which young men would know not to pursue it until they were in committed relationships. However, the situation right now is that if a young woman refuses sex, there are 1,000 other girls who will take her place, and she'll be alone at home. Since I am a married woman in my 30s , I can look back and see that it's far better to be alone than with someone who is just using you for sex. However, as a teen, few things seem worse than being the only person at high school/university without a boyfriend/girlfriend. No one (or very few) wants to return to shaming girls into waiting until marriage, especially since marriage now comes later and later in life. However, it seems that girls are told one of two things: either wait until marriage unless they want to be thought of as "loose women," or just wear condoms and have a good time. The only way I can see young women waiting until marriage is if we encouraged them to marry during their university years (something I'm fine with but many others discourage). The "free love" ideal just leads to broken hearts, unplanned pregnancies, and mental/physical health crisis.
"Females simply don't naturally feel the need to mate with multiple partners,"
In any society which does not have the stigma on female promiscuity and where women have the full autonomy over their bodies and reproductive choices (any culture that is not patriarchal), they are actually very happy to mate with multiple partners.
Not natural my ass.
Well said!!
@@olajuwon021 At least they say they're happy.
The impulse to 'spread his seed' I think is actually a misunderstanding by a lot of people, of male sexuality. Its true in one sense, but actually, the sex drive in men can be harnessed as a method of bonding in a relationship. Women especially just dont seem to understand that men crave sex because they crave affection, sensuality, validation and free expression of their naturally aggressive (or passionate) impulse; which is so often seen as unacceptable in their natural and naked form. They have to be adjusted or expressed in some other way..which exacerbates the problem. There is nothing wrong with men pursuing sex with intensity, the problem is that they just aren't getting a respectful education and dare I suggest support, in the deeper aspects of their being and so exist and interpret the world, as a power hungry, high torque motor, on meagre rations of 'spiritual' and philosophical fuel. The so what, is that women are now being taught that they can have whatever they want and men are being demonised and told they're not good enough.
This is TH-cam gold. Thank you Bishop Barron for all this wisdom and knowledge with the Word and Jesus
It’s 2021, and this video still rings true. The results are in and just as was said here, sadness and depression of the heart is rampant.
For every video i watch from bishop barron, i feel more smarter
He does it again! Thank you and God bless you Father Barron!
This began with the arrival of the "Pill" in the 60's and the subsequent philosophy of free love. As an elder who lived through those times, I can promise free love is NOT freedom. It is slavery, and as the decades pass, the coming of wisdom brings sorrow over a youth squandered on a lie which produced not freedom, but suffering.
Certain moral absolutes appear within our experience. Examples abound: the sexual abuse of children is always wrong; the direct killing of the innocent is always wrong; slavery is always wrong; the exploitation of the weak is always wrong, etc. These are like logical absolutes--the whole is always greater than any of its parts; I think therefore I am--or like mathematical absolutes--2 + 2 is 4, etc. To deny these is to invite moral and intellectual chaos.
I got embroiled in this hook up culture despite some significant part of my conscience knowing it was wrong in my late teens. Then I got into a good relationship by the time I had just turned 20. Those first 2 years were some of my happiest until I started to fall into this trap of hook up culture and that lead me into doing things that I never imagined I would knowingly do. Fucked up that relationship and then messed up another one after that. I spent the next 4 years after that immersed in that hook up culture and It always ends up making you feel worse. Last time I hooked up, I just felt bad and almost empty inside despite the woman making me feel momentarily good. Hookup culture is accepted in culture but it will lead you down a moral decline. My advice to anyone is fight back against your worst instincts and form a healthy relationship with 1 woman and do your best to maintain that healthy relationship and build a nuclear family if you can.
It feels good to hear your speak again Fr. Barron, thousands of us on TH-cam really look up to and rely on your wisdom and insight. Thank you for this excellent post!!
I've learned that the biblical & traditional ways are the best, I've given up on immortality for ever, my life is very blessed as a result, God will bless you if u obey his decrees and curse u if u don't. That's what I've learned...
Casual sex is like a business transaction. Its a deal that two parties sign and once the process is completed the two parties serve no purpose to each other anymore. From a business point of view, its a win-win situation. But are human beings just some business deals we expect to get some profit out of? Is reducing sex to a transaction in the name of convenience really something to feel empowered about? Is this how you want to treat people - like some sex objects to fulfil your needs?
Welcome to capitalism. That's where beings-as-commodity comes from.
The words of Chesterton ring true: "The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected."
Long day at work, followed by a very loud rehearsal. Thought I would relax by checking to see if you had posted a new video. Glad I did. Thank you father, another gem. Pax
Paul said that there are many things we are free to do in this life but very few of these things are actually for our benefit.......this is what's going on with hook up culture, you're free to engage in that behaviour but ultimately it will harm rather than liberate.
As always an excellent commentary by fr. Barron.
You know what would have made me happy? If the article I was critiquing had made even a tiny gesture in the direction of objectivity. The problem is that it simply bracketed any objective moral context for sexuality. It was all a matter of "freedom" and "self-expression" and "self-reliance." We can get to the fullness of Catholic truth another time; I'm just looking for a simple acknowledgement that there is something to human sexuality beyond "being yourself."
Well said Fr. Barron! Sadness of the heart is exactly what this hook-up/no commitment culture is bringing about today. I've always liked Bob Dylan too!!! One of my favorites! His songs were astute!
Freedom to take what you want from whomever you want to take it from leads to a sense of personal power; this is the aphrodisiac that feeds hookup culture. The problem is that once you have achieved the skills needed to take whatever you want from everyone else, you are entirely selfish and entirely alone. And this is exactly how beings made to participate in a generous, humble communion with God define what it means to be in hell.
So refreshing to find a heavyweight intellectual from the catholic tradition, pondering relevant questions in a modern accessible media as TH-cam. Well done!
God bless you Bishop! Thank you
You're right: we have been over this a number of times. You seem to have an allergic reaction to the word "absolute." In agreeing that the things I've mentioned are wrong (and I assume you mean that they admit of no exeptions), then you have conceded my point. Just don't use the word "absolute" if it bothers you. And Jon, unless you come, finally, to some values that simply appear as self-evidently good, you are caught in the problem of the infinite regress.
I'll admit I'm in a bubble the minute you admit you're in one too. Then once we get over this psychological distraction, we can return to real argument.
Fr. Barron, your video is very timely. I can forward it to someone who's reading the book Freedom by Franzen in her secular book club. Thank you.
Father, thank you for your ministry and life of service. The singular Catholic message for young people regarding purity is devotion to Our Blessed Mother. We have in the Roman and Communion of Catholic traditions, testimonies and treatises from the saints that explain the grace of purity requires devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. That is Our Lord's arrangement. Now more than ever, all Catholics should consecrate their mind and senses to Jesus through Our Lady!
Love your videos. Admire your ministry. And hope one day to meet you, but I'm sure I'm in a long line of those eager to meet you. I'm 50 and I'm watching my brilliant and beautiful agnostic daughter of 25 live and embrace this attitude. unfortunately, I was her role model. I'm afraid we get old fast, and wise, too late, and this makes me very sad.
Thanks Bishop, "Freedom just around the corner for you
. But with the truth so far off" -- I will remember this quote from Bob Dylan's song
I'm so sad I thought this was normal back then. I thank God and the beauty of the Catholic faith for recently showing me the truth of what it means to love: to will the good of the other :] The fact that the hookup culture is so normal among young people truly demonstrates how much of a genius Satan is. Freedom, peace, fulfillment, and joy comes from doing God's will! Not from using others for sexual pleasure!
Right on, Andrew! I sadly fell victim to this culture in my adolescence/teens as well, but God has brought me a LONG way since.
Amen. And a promise of prayers.
Enrich your body and soul with experiences that will elevate its value. Having more sexual experience will not be one of those, as you overuse your body and emotions, it will already be exhausted, anxious, and full of negative emotions when the right man or woman comes.
My conversations are with young women who are frustrated and depressed that no one wants to ‘date’ any more, that romance seems to be dead. Not for everybody, but enough that a lot of young people are seriously unhappy.
Father, one great thing about your series is you're bringing the Chesterton club spirit to the internet via TH-cam. A self-congratulatory, Ayn Rand-worshipping, Calvinism-tinged toxic culture such as ours seemingly has little space for the public forum discussion anymore. Respectable debate seems impossible and to naturally devolve into one-liner quips and platitudes(see velourkungen below)or shouting matches. As a once Chesterton Club president, it's so refreshing to see Uncommon Sense is back
Thank you Bishop
I tried having a "no strings attached" relationship with this girl. We were both in a serious long-term relationship.
I very quickly fell in love with her and all sorts of dark and terrible things followed suit.
And after two years of us getting on and off, I can safely say that
1) there is no such thing as "casual" sex.
2) I've never been as low as I am now. The last two years have been filled with incredible amounts of unfulfilled desire, multiple cases of continuosly broken heart (for almost all participants) and terrible amount of suffering.
The worst thing about this sort of "casual" relationship is that there is no responsibility for anything. "You feel bad? Not my problem, we are not in a serious relationship where I would feel obliged to care for you, remember?"
It's filled with selfishness and breeds immense amounts of suffering. I've wounded people most close to me. And you don't ever want to feel this amount of guilt, let alone combined with unsatiable desire for someone who fcked your life up.
Stay away from anything resembling a "casual" relationship!!!
I am lost in it, but you don't have to be.
A few years ago I got condemned by a young lady when I pointed out to her that this hook-up thing is not good. I realize now that the way I expressed this to her was insensitive and obtuse, especially given my own former lack of restraint. Nevertheless, I did not have the intention of "judging" or blaming her, just pointing out the cause-effect relationship regarding this particular matter, and where it leads, that it isn't beneficial. I hope in the future I can handle these types of issues when they come up with greater maturity and knowledge.
I really respect the way you have put this across. However, I have had this experience as well with multiple ladies and the problem is they all seem to think it is okay and will call you a misogynist just because you have a different opinion.
Well said. Unfortunately, people today are blind by this culture and they would not or could not listen to this entire video. Blessings to you Bishop Baron.
This analysis is at once eloquent and surgical--the stitching is superb. The conclusion is poignant. It could not have been said better.
You have to be an emotionally void shell in order to be a "savvy headhunter." Enjoy.
🤣🤣
A very good presentation, your eminence!
I needed this video a lot. Thank you.
Thanks much for this video.
It defiles the soul in ways we can't understand. Christ warned us,
he told us to flee immorality!
Our culture encourages skepticism toward religious ideas, but uncritical acceptance of secularism and relativism. Our culture has completely obliterated the meaning of sexuality and indeed has left a confused and disoriented populace trying to get by on ideas like "whatever feels good." This is not only less than what the dignity of the person deserves, it is frequently, perhaps always, less than what he or she truly desires.
I love Father Barron because I disagree with him. However, hold on, his arguments and assessments are always respectful, thoughtful, and sincere. Whereas I come across a few people here and there who want to debate and WIN, regardless of friendship, Father Barron shows us that DISCUSSION is worthwhile and amazing. Thank you for all these videos. Like I said, I disagree with almost everything you say, but I respect everything you say.
In movies and real life many people will first have sex and then try to start a relationship. This does not make sense at all. You are going to be intimate with someone you really don't know and then hope you fall in love? I remember the excitement of first meeting and liking someone and slowly watching it grow. The hope and happiness that it gives is way better than sexual satisfaction. To me it is.
2 years late, but nah, that's just Western movies. Plenty of stories outside the West don't do it. Although I can't say the same for real life love lives. Maybe in Islamic countries, that still might be the case.
I've known at least one newly wed couple in my birth city, still outside of the West, who actually married without having intercourse before because the wife had faith in God, and followed through it. God bless the couple.
Well, the world can say anything, we, as parents, we can educate our kids the way we consider is the best, hope God and our Lady help them to overcome all those things, at least is we try to teach them, thanks a lot B Barron
Correction: I should have said "they DENY its true purpose". Catholics are they only ones who don't have a problem with sex. We just have a problem with sin.
Spend even a few minutes in an adoration chapel and you will know what the words "Our hearts are restless until they rest in you" truly means.
Your Excellency, thank you very much for your clear explanations about the trap of hook-up; it is an ever-present danger to drag those attempting it into bondage.
The loneliest people in the world are ironically not those who are weary of pain, but those who are weary of pleasure.
So sad to know about this. Values are buried away and it becomes a meat market. I wasn’t even allowed to hold hands with anyone! What a world we live in 😔
I'm put in mind of ... 'freedom isn't really free'
and another song,
~ freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose ~
I notice that H.Rosin appears on my local radio station less than 24 hours after when this video was filed. Thanks for the heads up on what she's been doing.
Do we really want a culture of "savvy headhunters" with regards to romance and intimacy? Sounds like a pretty cold world to me...
@@gw437 I'm not surprised. It's pretty nuts. On one hand, our culture seems to insist upon desacralizing sex as much as possible. Yet if you question anyone's sexual privileges, all of a sudden sex becomes the most important thing in the world and we hear about it endlessly in our media and social media feeds (and classrooms from my experience) day in and day out. "Erotophobia is a Patriarchal strategy to oppress women" and all that. This one aspect of life--which actually has a limited function--utterly dominates the discourse. Consequently, as you point out, these other aspects of life fall by the wayside.
I have no quarrel with your saying that you find my reasonings unconvincing. For that could say as much about you as about my reasonings. What I was objecting to was the insinuation that I was engaging in a mere appeal to authority. And Jon, the implied psychological criticism that I'm just "reverse engineering" things holds absolutely no water, for it applies every bit as much to you. Secularism is, after all, an ideology with its own "long tradition."
Great video. The endless quest for complete egalitarianism has turned into something really ugly, just as it always does. Also, I'd just like to say that your videos have done as much if not more than my local church has done to instil faith in me again after years of atheism. I couldn't shake the feeling that this world is sick but you have put so many things in perspective for me. Thanks for everything, Father.
My knowledge about my own gender was so clouded due to the ideas about women of the woman you're talking about. I had such a screwed up idea that I thought I was liberating myself by being abrasive and forward, even though it felt wrong intuitively.
I didn't grow up religious, but I remember after I became Catholic, one night in prayer, crying to the virgin Mother, almost angrily, about why she wasn't there for me, why I didn't know of her, when I was younger, before I made foolish decisions.
In the animal world, the objective is to procreate. In hook up culture, babies aren't desired.
I'm beatin down by your reason and intelligence. Time for me to take up my cross and follow my lord to Golgatha.
I've seen that hookup culture has destroyed people's capacity to deal with problems. Most women I know get into relationships that last between 1 month and half a year and then they break up because a couple problems appeared.
I disagreed with Bishop Barron on one of his previous videos on living a childfree life.
Here I agree with him. To be fair, my generation (the GenXers) kind of got the whole hook-up thing going. Before I was married, I did a few one-nighters . But I now think that there is a culture of hook-ups and this younger generation has taken it too far. I hate to slam millennials here, but I think that because they believe in this whole hook-up thing, they don't know how to form stable relationships. They don't know how to "date" anymore. Texting has replaced actual communications and "sexting" has replaced true romantic emotions.
+BassPlayerSusan Agreed regarding the 'romance is dead' point. I believe this has to do with two big points.
1) Universities. The universities openly advocate to sleep around with as many people as you want. As long as you practice so called 'safe sex', you will be fine. It's just a bit of fun, right? Condoms on request as well as handing them out to everyone on the campuses are very common.
20 years ago, it was commonplace for someone of my age (24) to be married and perhaps have one if not two children on the way. Now, the college life is extended into the mid to late twenties, essentially extending childhood.
2) Parenting. We have come into an age where liberal (one could argue leftist) parenting is getting more and more common place. It is rare for a family of teenagers to attend Church. Children are not taught the value of responsibility, rather that everything should be given to them (ie. rights).Parents do not discipline children and prefer to let them 'roam free'.
That's my little rant :)
The damage to males wasn't mentioned. They will also suffer from the sadness of the heart but, will be manifest in possibly some different outwardly destructive ways. Also, not mentioned is that when one is in the "hook up" mode, he or she is missing so many good things in life they deserve and wasting their short precious life.
"Sexual liberation is a weapon of political control" - E Michael Jones
Unfortunately what the Bishop says is too true. A very close friend of mine who was and still is a very kind-hearted woman got into hook up culture and she has become so confused in her romantic pursuits. Shes become dismally depressed but she cannot see the love and deep connection she is looking for cannot be found in casual sex. I hope more young women see this video.
Already liked Bishop Barron, but knowing that he has great taste in music makes me like him even more.
I am not building off of my feelings. I was an agnostic for a part of my life, I'm willing to go wherever truth is. But I'd have to deny truth itself if I acknowledged materialism to be true. I'm using reason, not feelings.
Ok, in steps:
Thesis: In order to affirm materialism you have to deny that human persons exist. If human persons don't exist, there is no one to recognize their own existence, or explore science, since both recognition and knowledge are acts that must be willed. Therefore, materialism is false by the very basis of our own willed recognitions and actions.
1) In materialism, reality is confined to the strictly material and thus precludes the immaterial (consciousness) from interacting with the
Thank you, Father Barron!
As a guy, I wish I waited. Any time I tried to divorce love from sex, I only ever ended up breaking another girl's heart, as hard as I tried not to.
As a 21 year old, I can confirm this culture certainly exists. There is no commitment, effort or meaning. I wish people my age and younger seek relationships that are meaningful and strong where sexual activities then carry on with more purpose. Restraint equals satisfaction later.
I'll prefer a sight from God for ever and ever! 😇😇😇
The reason why it's wrong isn't because it hurts you, it's wrong because God said so
Good video as always
God bless you.
The sex is usually acted on while drunk. And then the morning comes. There is the embarrassment and humiliation, a strange feeling of being estranged from yourself, as if somehow the act of hooking-up separated you not only from the person you were with, but from yourself too, somehow, But your're not sure how or why or what to call it? Some call it a little death. Perhaps the person, to discover the source of the emptiness, peruses sex more and more, the estrangement and sadness grows deeper.
The hook up culture seems great, till you get the herps and everyone who finds out about it refers to you as pizza pants for the rest of your life.
+Dave Jacobson I think I'll stick with the porn.
@Noah G. he is talking about hsv 2 which is genital herpes....while hsv 1 is oral herpes
@Noah G. both are herpes but hsv 2 is usually seen as worse
Most ppl that hook up like that usually feel lonely.
Multiple de facto marriages (consummation) followed by de facto divorces leads to future marriage instability (from habituation of a divorce mentality) which puts strain on resulting children (from de facto or de jure marriages) of the future, not to mention society at large.
I liked her comment savvy headhunters, very amusing. How worthy is this man? In measuring every man, there is always someone better or worse, but nobody to really love, just temporary stock moving through a warehouse. Off course many find their warehouses empty and old stock has moved on and become worthless.
St. Jerome, in the fifth century (I believe) wrote: The Apostolic See accepts married men to be Priests provided they live no longer as husbands to their wives." and marriage has never been allowed after ordination, if a single man was ordained he had to practice celibacy. The Church imposed a fine on Priests who married, yet Priests started to pay the fine and marry anyway and this led to corruption. Single priests who were already ordained started taking mistresses and corruption occurred.
The names of the 7 archangels are: Gabriel, Michael, Raphael, Uriel, Raguel, Remiel and Saraqael
After being truly converted and under the control of the Holy Spirit those lusts disapear. Our focus and desires are replaced by the New Nature God provides.
Is this claim of yours something that you know absolutely or not? If so, you undermine your own argument; if not, it's just one not very convincing opinion among many.