Hey everyone! This is the second part of the Single's Guide to Finland and the last one 🤓 Part 1 is HERE: th-cam.com/video/PpsE1lIThWQ/w-d-xo.html Wants to know about dating in Sweden, Norway and Denmark? 🇸🇪🇳🇴🇩🇰 bit.ly/3EqzYR9
It was baffling to me how in each and every case where Finns of both genders were asked about their perspectives about the dating culture, both genders complained that the other was too reserved, were unable to have a relaxed conversation, either required alcohol [or not] to lower culturally instilled inhibitions and so on. Tellingly, more than a few said they would prefer to date persons from other countries because foreign persons were not so reserved, not so socially inhibited, were indeed, not like (socially detached) Finnish men and women! It's too bad there couldn't have been a livestreamed part 3 where as many men and women who were interviewed during these 2 videos could join a conversation that explores these matters. Personally, I think social boundaries and having strict criteria for friendships are important; in fact my own complaints about the American culture are that it's far too loose where social interctions are concerned. The almost necessary social requirement to smile and be happy all the time is perhaps the most off-putting, superficial American trait I can think of. Such a conversation might make for an excellent exchange of views that could enhance thinking on both sides of the world. PS : I posted a separate response focused on the contradictions of Finnish cultural norms. The suggestion above is just that, nothing more. Best wishes...
@@DatingBeyondBorders Many thanks for your reply; I stand corrected. 🙂 (I think there was at least one male whose comments mirrored the female perspective, but I would consider that a statistical outlier.) Generally I would amend my remark to assert Finnish men have some homework to do in catching up with their European counterparts and that Finnish women have a point in characterizing them, in not so many words, as "chauvinist". I would also maintain that it seems Finnish culture has created social barriers for young people in the spontaneous authentic expression of feelings, as seen in this 2 part video*. Never more so than in matters of dating/coupling up. For men not to show up with flowers on a first date (much less give them from time to time as a sign of affection after entering into a relationship); for men (and women?) to rarely say "I love you" to their girlfriend or spouse... quite frankly, I think that type of behaviour is bizarre. I would have liked to know if, for example, in a country where gender equity is among the most advanced in the world, whether a boyfriend or husband might cook a meal for their beloved in anticipation of their coming home late from work. To me THAT would be a sign of true gender equity as much as a sign of affection. No wonder the married young lady said that if a man were to merely give her flowers she would promptly dump her husband (if I remember the interview correctly). *I've found your channel fascinating and this 2 part Finnish "chapter" on Dating Beyond Borders the best yet. Hence my very first reaction to it. Keep up the good work!
In my experience Finns are the most chill, no messing about people I’ve met. The girls I’ve met made it clear pretty quickly if they were interested and it was a real breathe of fresh air.
Growing up in a Chinese family, I never heard my parents tell each other they loved each other. They did but it was just never said. And it’s also true that Chinese people show love through actions more vs words.
@@tallisinwonderland4724 It's the name of our YT channel. We are three international living in Finland and we speak Finnish in our videos. Come and see! We also have subtitles in 4 languages!
Great video, as always. I am Brazilian and I find it so odd how people there are so sexually open (which is a GOOD thing), but are extremely closed off with their emotions. In Brazil talking about your feelings is normal and encouraged, but I personally think that getting naked in front of someone I don't really know well is waaayyyy more vulnerable than talking about feelings. I can talk about my feelings all day, but I get nervous about being naked lol
And how women are forced to behave like men to prove they are"independent"...They arent open or modern at all,they all cater to men while pretending to like it too.Very sad.A lot of lazy men there.
It is so right for you to include alexi himself! he has done many videos on this subject aswell, im sure these help people who arent familiar with the social fabric of finland.
@@henri191 yes, it's true that hot climates sometimes have more extraverted nations. On the other hand, asians turned it 180 degrees. They have moist, hot climates and they are the most intraverted cultures.
@@Србомбоница86 China, Japan and SoKor aren't. But that's because they have social rules that bound them (unlike Nordics where freedom is top most). China is not as strict as Japan and Korea for sure. South east Asia are way more extroverted.
The English word "Love" is very soft. The Finnish word "Rakastan" (I love) has every hardest consonant in the Finnish language, with a bunch of As in between. That's not a word that slips out, and those aren't words you throw out carelessly.
As an American guy, I find it funny that Finns find it difficult to hold a conversation, but they have no problem hooking up. It seems to me that those two aspects of Finnish culture should be flipped around. Having a healthy body image is great, but shouldn't it also come with a healthy dose of confidence? Personally, I am an extrovert, but I am very private as well. I have no problem starting a conversation with anyone, but my deepest secrets and feelings only come out when I am with someone whom I love. True trust takes time to earn.
@biibiib buubuub There's something called phatic communication, which means to communicate with another person to gauge the personality of the other person and to stablish some basic rapport. This is the main purpose of small talk or basic conversations and that's very important because communication is not just the words that you say but also your facial expressions, voice tone and body language. But unfortunately the social skills of most Finns are so lacking that they don't understand this concept and overthink the purpose of a conversation.
@biibiib buubuub You missed the point. What I'm saying is that they really struggle to make conversations with new people because they have very poor social skills and don't understand what phatic communication is. It's something that could be fixed easily if socializing wasn't something discouraged by Finnish culture
@biibiib buubuub Really? This is literally what everyone says in Finland, you can ask any random person in Finland what are Finns like and they'll tell you that they're very shy and struggle communicating. I don't know what those statistics have to do with this.
Thank you Marina, Dante, and Oleh for filming, editing, interviewing and making this Finland series! The views look very cinematic. I learned several important things from this video! Hope to see the series going to Norway in the future. I believe that Marina never hooked up. I really do 😉
With my personality, I would be stuck in the middle. If I was in Southern Italy or Sicily, I would be looked at like I'm a Finnish man. But if I was in Finland, I would be loud enough to be mistaken for a Southern Italian or Sicilian man.
Same here. In Finland, I'm considered loud and different (I'm not shy to say my opinion, I give people compliments). In Canada, I'm considered reserved and almost rude. I don't make small talk enough and I don't say people's names when I'm talking to them.
I'd like to take a moment of silence for all the women dating Finnish men. 🤣 As a Mexican American I can say the lack of romance and communication is by far the hardest part to deal with. Thank for making this video, it made me feel so validated in my frustration lol.
Dates are inherently unnatural for connecting with people, since you have to represent yourself while also trying to get to know the other person. Also, I think a part of what makes interactions between men and women awkward, is that if you as a man treat the woman as your equal with equal input on the date, you end up in a decision paralysis of neither making choices. It's hard being to assertive, especially if you don't know the other person. Most Finnish women also tend to want to pay for themselves, so choosing a venue for a date can be tricky. For me the solution seems pretty clear, don't do dates; Meet people in hobbies and activities and spend time together there. Go eat or for a coffee together afterwards and see if you click. I think men and women are pretty good at communicating once they get past on the "Date number n" part and just start being a couple, but dates are a shitty way to fall in love.
The big city mentality and norms effects on how people seem and behave on streets. Also seasons and the weather have a big effect. Couples meet in bars, clubs, parties, cruises, but also often in schools, workplaces, through hobbies etc. and traditionally in social dance events. In those social dance events people don't have to express their feelings, because there's that artist as a Cyrano de Bergerac to express the feelings in behalf of people through the lyrics. The Karaoke culture is probably an extension to that. If you ask people when they feel they are in a loving relationship the most, it's probably not going to be when they get flowers, compliments on their looks or other verbal acknowledgements. If you ask women to tell their favorite stories about their husbands, they actually might not tell about the times when their husbands behaved romantic gentlemen like. And since saying "I love you" or something towards that is a big thing, there are euphemisms used to express deeper feelings.
Finns can be shy but living in the USA as an European you get so darn tired of the fakeness and phoniness of people, the shallowness, the lack of wittiness, how basic people’s conversations are. I know not all Americans are like that, but the majority I have encountered were. I would still prefer any European to an American (north and south), maybe Canadians may be different.
You europeans are too needy to take politeness as real friendship. These are manners. Would you approach a grumpy French guy or a smily American? It's like your co-worker does you a favour and you think he is hitting on you
i don't think those are fake. they are just simply more cheerful. that's definitely better than the rude european style where you can see dark and sad faces most of the time.
I've been living 3 years in Finland and I think the video is very spot on almost everything and their read on Finnish dating culture is very accurate. I've experienced that to be successful with Finnish girls you need to act more like a Finnish guy, as the lady described Finnish guys are quite passive and wait for the woman to do a lot of the moves but that's what works the best. Most Finnish women get uncomfortable when guys try to make moves, give compliments or show interest, that's why it's better to take things very slowly and let her make the moves, most Finnish women are comfortable moving things forward when they want to. However I think they weren't being honest regarding the hookup culture because I've talked to a lot of people and the nightlife scene has been deteriorating drastically specially after covid. A lot of friends have told me that the hookup culture and nightlife used to be very active 10 years ago but it has been declining since then. What remains of the hookup culture is restricted mainly to tinder now.
This video gives mixed signals (probably like the culture there). One group of woman said they were dying for men to be more social and the other confirmed what you said. One thing is for sure, the men ended up like this for a reason. Maybe I'm making a bias connection here but this awkwardness in male/female dynamic seems to follow in cultures where the women are liberated/equals. We know what comes along with that, high divorce rates, single parent households, deterioration of the family unit and values, less couples, lower birth rates, etc. It is so bad in Japan that the free market has monetized the relationship experience. Men are now paying for the company of women with no sex, just to feel a connection. The men there are so unconfident when it comes to talking to women they choose not to even try. It's no wonder the Fins needed alcohol courage just to say hello.
@@chazly30 It looks like mixed signals but in reality they're just not telling you the whole story, they find most Finnish guys boring but even if they find foreign guys more attractive it's not going to matter because they won't be comfortable with them, it will take them a lot of effort being comfortable with a man that is more extroverted and most of them will just give up and sabotage themselves. I don't think that women independence is the issue here, I'm Colombian and to be honest I think the women there are a lot more independent than Finnish women. The issue comes from a culture where socializing is discouraged and the dating culture is too basic, it's the fault of both men and women, as you can see from the video Finns refuse to connect with other people and takes it them a very long time to do it, they don't know how to flirt and they're weary of people showing interest. This is why there are so many singles here in Finland and most people break up, it's exactly as you said, I rarely meet people who are in a relationship here in Helsinki, most of them are single.
@@sanher20 You put out some mixed signals of your own there lol. The very first sentence in your response you both disagreed and then agreed by giving an example of mixed signals saying "...find foreign guys (extroverts) more attractive.....they won't be comfortable with them........most of them will just give up and self sabotage". If I had to deal with this I would be less inclined to make an effort too. Communities where individuals choose to live by more "old fashion" standards don't have these kind of problems. They're not problem free but these kind of social distortions only happen in "liberated societies". Dull men don't help but there's more to it then that, right? Doesn't sound like we're totally disagreeing.
@@chazly30 I wouldn't call what they do a mixed signal because there is a deeper problem in there that is related to their passive culture and low self esteem, they are telling you what they like but they are not willing to put the necessary effort to get it. Nowadays I don't feel very motivated to talk to them to be honest, the main reason why I'm in Finland is because life is very easy here, but dating here is very disappointing, however you can sometimes get very lucky and meet a very fun Finnish girl, which is rare, or a girl from another country.
@@sanher20 Why would they put the necessary effort in? The women say that's what they want but then don't engage back because the guy "might expect something". MIXED SIGNALS lol. So what came first the chick or the egg? You're saying the men's low self esteem (which leads to passivism) made it like this? I'm saying dealing with those kind of women killed their confidence and gave the guys low self esteem. I mean I wouldn't waste my time and it sounds like you don't either. I feel like we're going in circles but am I wrong?
You should do an episode in small town Ireland next. And ask the older generations what dating was like back in the day. Have you done an Ireland episode already?
As a Finnish man I've found that generally Russian women are more easy to read and approach than Finnish women. Then there's that practical and nature loving Finnish side of me that's like "why cut a bouquet of flowers off the ground to give to someone and not let them live and grow instead". Sooo dating life has always had some contradictions, no matter who I meet 😅 As for the hook up thing, I think it might also be an extrovert vs introvert thing (though not always). I always looked for a deeper connection through mutual interests.
@@inconnu4961 Nice to hear :) I think these personality types exist everywhere. Things like media and entertainment might make the other seem more prevalent in specific places.
No experience with Finnish women but with Russian and all I can say is while it is easy to approach them, they usually are the total opposite of the portrayed Finnish women when it comes to dating and casual sex which is almost not happening and most are looking with intentions like serious dating. Hooking up with them at first date is very rare.
@@hasana.3078 Yes, that's correct. Most Russian women are not "easy" in that way. I only talk about serious dating and how smoothly things go in creating some kind of bond. But I think the same goes for Finnish women who are looking for a partner, most will not jump to bed directly.
@@hasana.3078 Lol, Russian women are as easy as Finnish women IF YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE. There is literally NOTHING you need to do. Their legs spread wide on the first date no problem.
This channel is awesome for two things, knowing about dating around the world and also improving your listening skills in english with all the accents lmao I need to watch it more
I am curious about the Finns lifestyle satisfaction when they get older. At min 12:15 she said it is not a stigma to be divorced or a single mom in Finland and they are said to be the happiest people in the world. From a little googling, it appears they have a 60% divorce rate and had their lowest marriage rate in a hundred years. It would appear from her that marriage is not that important and the majority of people will be alone when they are older (Not implying lonely). Interesting to see if this is the direction of the rest of all western countries. More free sex, less marriage and more single parent households. (no value judgment just an observation)
Marriage is not seen as a necessary part of starting a family anymore, most finns especially in the south are very irreligious to begin with. I come from a family where my dad was divorced and never married my mum, and I grew up happy and normal. I knew a lot of others whose parents were married and it honestly had nothing to do with how the kids or the family turned out in the end. Harder to comment on the 'free sex' part other than that most people here don't take sex too seriously but I have a hunch we're still a bit more conservative on that front in comparison to some others. I honestly don't see a problem sleeping around (though I never have) if you don't want anything serious for the moment. I think the happiness thing is more about people feeling content with life and not worrying about their future as much (due to stable income and a safety net) and I think a lot of other nordics would agree with my take.
@@klimtkahlo I hear you but 2 things I would say. In both marina’s vids you seem to hear Finnish girls both wanting men not to help them (individuality) and wishing they would be somewhat more chivalrous. Also still does not answer the question about are they all happy when everyone is single at 70
that's because the parameter for the survey of happiest countries are financial (where Finland is high on), healthcare etc. not necessarily happy people.
So true about the Finnish men's compliments. It doesn't really feel like a compliment when they say I have nice boobs/ass. It makes me feel like a piece of meat. Complimenting something else makes a man stand out, not just be like all the other men.
LMAO! what flavor is your Koolaid? do you ever ask or wonder how much money a man makes? men are often seen as human bank machines, so we feel your pain!
@@inconnu4961 in Finland we women earn our own money. I have never wondered how much money a man makes. I don't let men to pay for my drinks/food/whatever. Actually it's more the rule in Finland that everyone pays for themselves. And even married couples often have their separate finances. So cool down with your beverages that aren't sold in Finland.
I have this issue with Finnish women all the time because most of them can't take compliments, they almost never believe them or don't understand the intention behind them. I've found it's better to just do a very light flirting with them and give them very few compliments or no compliments at all.
Tqvm Marina for this most insightful clip. Learned quite a bit about this beautiful nation and their culture. Karaoke bars - Wow!, I am sold. But only after a few beers. Most definitely make it a point to visit Nordic & Scandinavian countries soon.
I do think the hook up scene is big in Finland but I also think we are somewhat more "traditional" and conservative compared to the other Nordic countries, like Sweden for an example. And btw, if you want to meet a more outgoing sort of a Finn: go to karelia, that's different 😂👍
@Alex Sulonen In what way would you say you're more traditional and conservative than us Swedes? I'm half Finnish myself but have never lived in Finland
@@MissSylvia67 the question why would they be , in incel theory a small minority of males sleeps with most of the women while most males are sexless and that might be worse in scandinavian countries where feminism is very strong .
Finnish guy here. I dont know about others, but I often see people i want to compliment on. But i never do, because i dont want to come across as creepy/weird. I think most Finns feel the same way, but they then use alcohol as an excuse, to voice out their comments about others and to flirt. That way, they can always blame the alcohol, if things get awkward. I have never done that, but its because i get quiet, when im drunk. I have trouble speaking at the best of times, but when im drunk, my ability to remember words, plummets even further. Normally i might have 90% chance of remembering any given word, but when im drunk, it drops to maybe 20 or 30% (idk if my shitty memory is genetic, or because my mom was regularly drunk whenever she was pregnant 🤷) Anyways. I want to say that Finns are on average, much more introverted, than most other people. Sure, we have some extroverts, but they are relatively rare (i would guess extroverts are about as common in Finland, as left handed people). I have seen many TH-cam and Tiktok videos, where the people have claimed to be introverts. But nearly always, they come across as, what would be considered as extroverts in Finland. I like to think im a super introvert. I regularly go days, even months without saying a single word (longest time i have gone without speaking, was 6 months). Even so, i have seen a lot of Finns, who make me look like an extrovert! Its crazy here! 😳
Everything in your video makes the "dry comedy" from Lake Woebegone on the "Prairie Home Companion" that much funnier.....especially "I love you" on the deathbed!! Great video! DD
You don't even need to ask them. You can see it right away. They (the women) want to be the men in a relationship but don't want the responsibility that comes with it.
@@mirieshii1948 Or perhaps they know that it will be shot down if they try. "Why are you saying such nice things to me? What have you done? What's going on? Why are you buying me chocolates? Why are you holding the door? I'll get it myself. You think I need help?"
Charlotte should really move back to Canada or the US. Her thoughts here are golden, especially the challenges she face when interacting with Finnish guys. I'd like to see the full conversion.
1:21 - has this bartender girl worked in Japan? I met a Finnish bartender girl there looking pretty much like her, she was really nice, my favourite type of a lady.
Chill, open minded women, and karaoke bars?!?!? I mean, I have been a fan of Finland for a while, but I really gotta get there ASAP!!! Perhaps my karaoke skills will be appreciated in Finland. 😆
karaoke is a pretty recent phenomenon in Finland (as being very popular), it has exploded hand in hand with social media and all the narcissism it entails.
Great videos, I suggest to visit northern, western and easter parts of Finland too cause dating is different in a different areas. Tho ppl might be acting similar, but it aint the same thing in every corner of Finland 😅
Let's be honest,nordic/Scandinavian men are not exactly the most dynamic folk are they. They have other qualities but interaction (romantic) with women is not their strong point.
They are normal men! They have their dignity, they are smart and respectable! Women seek a clown with a red nose to entertain them like they are little girls!
@@JAG214 thats because of feminism and how women act towards men. there is no incentive to be tactful with women given how they treat men. western women are masculine, rude, narcissitic and entitled, and have abandoned everything men value beyond looks. women ruined western countries and families. no man is thrilled to interact with a western woman beyond sex because they are mostly just horrible people, especially to men.
Same in Austria - we do not say 'I love you' that often. But in case it is said it means something. And - for sure - divorce rates here are far lower than US.
Im a Finnish man and had a traditional very old school upbringing in the family while living in both Finland and Sweden from small rural places in the country to bigger cities. I consider that there is definitely a thing in the Finnish culture regarding social interaction between people who dont know each other especially between men and women. I would say Finnish people not to be more introverted than others but more reserved in general.. I think we have forced reservedness, "you should not disturbe others" and boys are still beeing brought up to do back breaking work and be cannon fodder in an eventual war without complaining, also that old upbringing instilled manners!
Then why do they remain introverts even if other people themselves show interest in them (that is, no anxiety) It is the most difficult thing on Facebook to “make friends” with Finnish (not only they will not be accepted, but they will definitely send a complaint for a spamer request for friends)
@@botlfpx you might simply met pure introverts, also consider that some just want to be anonymous on the internet. Its a part of the Finnish culture to be reserved towards strangers, one thing that plays a big role is that Finland for a long time was a country to emigrate from not a country to immigrate to, immigration to Finland didn't really start until the 90s. I don't think Finland has much more introverted people than other countries, but we do have a Finnish culture.
@@jarmomoskuvaara It’s “strangers” on the street And what kind of “strangers” can there be on a social network, where you can see from photos and posts a person’s whole life (family, how he works and rests, what he is interested in) I have been to Finland 2 times, I go to concerts and it is in my profile. But there is less interest and friendliness in me than in poor Syrian or African immigrants.
@@botlfpx so your experience has been that some finns accept or want to befriend some immigrants better than others? Can I ask where you are from, I assume you are a man?
wow i am yet to encounter a single finnish woman, all of them are seemingly in happy relationship with finnish guy so very contrasting from real life experience
Biggest takeaway for men: approach in a calibrated way. Just talk to Finnish women. We're all gonna leave this world one day. We'll regret for the days we did NOT do than we did. Say "I love you" more often and of course in Finnish. Make a move and try to kiss them first before asking them to go home.
Forget all claims of Finnish women being strong and independent. They resent having to take the initiative and rather long for being courted the old fashion way.
Another great video! I want to meet the bartender girl lol, and the woman who is more my age who talks about the sandwiches the bars give you. You're a great interviewer!!
Well this is very interesting... sounds like a lovely place... i love to travel ... it's now on the list. Love european women... actually europe in general... less judgemental- willing to explore ..
Another thing is how is silence connecting. Sure when you get to know the person and the relationship is well established you have quiet time, like if you are reading or watching a show or out walking or about alone or with friends. One thing that was different with my German husband he wants or like being near me. We spend loads of time together before kids, now he’s with one daughter doing this or with the other doing that or out by himself or with me. He’ll tell me I love you. Or he’ll buy gorgeous flowers or he do the silliest things like I swing by the mall and got you some popcorn. Like I said he is as in European as it comes. He is patient with me emotionally and that’s why I love him to the sun and back. I needed someone tender loving kind thoughtful and just so much fun. Could any Swedish, Norwegian or Finnish guy get there? If these people can’t get there in a life time why in Gods name would I want anything to do with these people even as a friend. No I still feel they are on a completely different plant and please stay there.
I live in Tampere, Finland, since more than 5 years. I have a Finnish boyfriend since 6 years, that's why I moved here. But I can only again say, it would be so nice, SO NICE, if Finnish men would do something. Dates, saying nice things, outgoing, going out, buying flowers, saying nice things, something, but nope. You can basically wait forever. I feel like if you go on a date with a Finnish guy once in a year, you are lucky. Finnish guys are VERY passive and as that one woman said, we have to do basically everything, and that's true. And yes, unfortunately Finnish people, especially men, drink a lot and expect to be in the same first night in their bed. These moms are lucky. I wish I would have a night alone, without kids and dad is taking care of them, that I can have fun. I wish that this would happen at some point to me too.
Welcome to equality toots! now you are equal with men! time you do a little work and earn your keep! dont you like sex too? women act like they do men a favor when they sleep with them once in a blue moon! Your experience with the Finnish men is like most mens experience with most women! women dont do anything positive, think they have done a man a favor sleeping with him, but will accumulate a very high body count with complete strangers & women ask for the world on a silver platter! but are utterly CLUELESS that they do any of this!
@@inconnu4961 "dont you like sex too?" What kind of question is that? No I do not like it. Yes it is a favor towards men. I know that not all women are or think like this, but I do. So far, in my experience, a lot of women sleep with men just to keep them happy towards them and the children, if there are some, and to keep the relationship smooth. If you think that women are clueless and stupid, that is on you and your problem then
the entire western media is about hating on men and making men weak. basically men act like women and women act like men. hook up culture is horrible. womens pair bonding ability gets wrecked by sex with different men because of biological differences in sexual psychology. western men arent enthusiastic about dating women who are not feminine, not traditional, not submissive and not virgins. there is no point approaching girls anyway
If people would walk up to and talked to other people they found cute/interesting there would be no end to social interactions ever and the world would end.
I have bad memories from dating and being in relationships with Finnish men (not women). Thank God I move abroad :) Feeling much better, here everyone smiles and talks to each other like normal people in broad daylight. The horror :)
I think different cultures have a different interpretation of openness. In my opinion, Finnish men are more open than Canadian men because they are more sincere. They mean what they say, even if they might not say much or come across as too shy. Canadian men do talk more, but they're usually full of crap. Living in Canada, I feel like people are rarely sincere. They have the American capitalist approach to socializing where you always have to sell yourself and show your best side at all times. I don't consider this being open at all.
My ex its not Finnish but ,he behaves like a Finnish man according people in this video , rarely said I love you,or buy me flowers,or talk about his fellings,only talk about how he was feeling when he was drunk,he is shy also honestly I think that men in general whatever is their nationality can suck at most of this things....Any way if I survived 5 years with my ex a non Finnish man that behaves like a one,I definitely can survive in a relationship with a Finnish man.
Thanks, good to know. I have had that impression of Finns, but still thought that maybe there are socially and soully smooth ones too, gentlemen and ladies. I was put off by an app-dater-to-be for not making an effort towards em although I made an extensive, telling presentation and not responding empathically to my personal, long emails. he rather criticised mefor it , doesn't seem to read them and is neither grateful nor appreciative, even rolling his eyes verbally when I tell him off and say what I like, need and want, which he ignored, while still expecting to get even more. I feel castrated by such male passivity and lack of courtship, with the audacity of pretention still. I felt drained and frustrated, losing all interest and motivation to go on. I guess I don't excell in dating myself yet, nor in grounding nor in self-worth. But they still have the entertainer-singer Arja Saionmaa, who is more open and warm. Maybe it comes wirh show-business. I oppose the tall blond man claiming a date with dinner on him without sexual intercourse is lost down the drain, since he - and she(?) - totally miss the gift of feminine essence, beauty and soul. Of course it is often lost or hidden in modern day women, nothing we are brought uo with,learn and cultivate.
No, Its the worst. You cant even talk to strangers here without them looking like theres something wrong with you. Other cultures are more open so its easier to talk to people from other cultures.
That's why they long for it now haha.. Because they know it exists. Before the internet, Finnish women didn't know what was available in other countries' dating cultures.
Interesting to see all these Finnish videos. Most guys I talk to seem to want to avoid Finland. They prefer the other Scandinavian countries, especially Estonia. Belarus is the place to be IF you can get a decent Visa. That place seems to be the favorite. Although I do not have experience with this myself so I cannot comment on it. Out of the northern most countries that I have seen videos on from channels like yours and many others I would probably like to try my hand in Norway the most. Swedes and Fins seem to be too uptight for my tastes. These are great videos though and help me plan my trips better.
@@hoo_jii sorry but I do. I subscribe to a bunch of traveling daters, not just DBB. Why all the hate? Im guessing its political. So if you dont have a valid reason kindly not reply. This is why American men are looking for women in other countries. Tired of the hate.
@John_Conner222 I don't have a dog in this fight, but Estonia isn't part of Scandinavia (neither is Finland, but it's considered a Nordic country). Belarus isn't a Scandinavian cointry either.
@@toomuchinformation You are correct I just kinda lump them all together because they have similar characteristics that I am looking for. Estonia and Belarus are more like the Nordic countries than their Slavic neighbors. Estonian people look Nordic while their Hungarian or Bulgarian neighbors do not. I guess its been a habit of mine. I usually lump the UK and even Germany into that group sometimes as when I visit those countries it feels Nordic so Its just been a habit of mine to lump them together. I try not speak it out loud because it obviously offends. Patriotism is a real thing and I respect it.
My experience with women is if the woman is not feminine naturally you wouldn't feel like doing more flirty things to her because it would seem like she does not like all of that and she strong independent. So they are giving out totally contradictory signals to men. On one hand they want to be like men but they dont really want to be like men because they are not. None of them said they approach men first or bring them flowers.
I completely agree, they have an internal conflict regarding their femininity and independence so they don't know what to do. The most traditional Finnish women don't receive flirting very well so you need to become more passive and let her make the moves.
@@sanher20 yes very expected. I am amused they say they prefer Italian or Spanish men , or even US men..how many of them fit the mold of a Italian or Latin woman ? lol Spanish , Italian or Latin women are much much more open and fun.
@@Valkyri3Z They do like foreign men but they contradict themselves again. They like the confidence and that most foreign guys are more fun but they still want them to be passive and let them make the moves. They also tend to be very passive themselves, not show interest, not talk unless drunk, not flirt which makes things more boring as you said.
@@artomeri7266 You can't be serious. Do you even date? Dating is all about social skills. If you have a confident, charismatic and socially calibrated normal looking guy vs an introverted, shy and awkward supermodel, I can promise you that the normal looking guy wins every single time dealing with women, even if he's on the rather uglier side.
@@VPortho Socially calibrated "normal" guy winning a shy supermodel? :D Buddy, stop living in the fantasy land. The supermodel takes the wife of the average guy EVEN if the supermodel is a certified rapist or murderer. Women do not care about your personality. In fact, most women actually ENJOY abuse. Proven by stats and research all and over again and again.
@@user-my4lf4bx6v Has nothing to do with liking sex. Women can have sex everyday in a commited relationship. Studies have proven that the vast majority of women cannot have an orgasm during a one night stand.
@@user-my4lf4bx6v I dont know if you are a woman. But most women need to feel trust and security to be able to relax enough to have an orgasm. Must not be a serious relationship, can also be a well functioning and stable FWB situation. But ONS are a waste of time for most women and more often than not has negative mental effects.
Hey everyone! This is the second part of the Single's Guide to Finland and the last one 🤓
Part 1 is HERE: th-cam.com/video/PpsE1lIThWQ/w-d-xo.html
Wants to know about dating in Sweden, Norway and Denmark? 🇸🇪🇳🇴🇩🇰 bit.ly/3EqzYR9
I bought your book. Absolutely would like to see the Single's Guide to Norway 🇳🇴
@@Sammi_Kristiansen I wish I could! So far I'm in Canada, but hopefully I get a chance to head there soon enough 🤓
It was baffling to me how in each and every case where Finns of both genders were asked about their perspectives about the dating culture, both genders complained that the other was too reserved, were unable to have a relaxed conversation, either required alcohol [or not] to lower culturally instilled inhibitions and so on. Tellingly, more than a few said they would prefer to date persons from other countries because foreign persons were not so reserved, not so socially inhibited, were indeed, not like (socially detached) Finnish men and women!
It's too bad there couldn't have been a livestreamed part 3 where as many men and women who were interviewed during these 2 videos could join a conversation that explores these matters. Personally, I think social boundaries and having strict criteria for friendships are important; in fact my own complaints about the American culture are that it's far too loose where social interctions are concerned. The almost necessary social requirement to smile and be happy all the time is perhaps the most off-putting, superficial American trait I can think of.
Such a conversation might make for an excellent exchange of views that could enhance thinking on both sides of the world.
PS : I posted a separate response focused on the contradictions of Finnish cultural norms. The suggestion above is just that, nothing more. Best wishes...
@@walterzielinski6654 It was the women who complained about the Finnish men; the Finnish men I interviewed had no such issues with Finnish women
@@DatingBeyondBorders Many thanks for your reply; I stand corrected. 🙂 (I think there was at least one male whose comments mirrored the female perspective, but I would consider that a statistical outlier.) Generally I would amend my remark to assert Finnish men have some homework to do in catching up with their European counterparts and that Finnish women have a point in characterizing them, in not so many words, as "chauvinist". I would also maintain that it seems Finnish culture has created social barriers for young people in the spontaneous authentic expression of feelings, as seen in this 2 part video*. Never more so than in matters of dating/coupling up. For men not to show up with flowers on a first date (much less give them from time to time as a sign of affection after entering into a relationship); for men (and women?) to rarely say "I love you" to their girlfriend or spouse... quite frankly, I think that type of behaviour is bizarre. I would have liked to know if, for example, in a country where gender equity is among the most advanced in the world, whether a boyfriend or husband might cook a meal for their beloved in anticipation of their coming home late from work. To me THAT would be a sign of true gender equity as much as a sign of affection. No wonder the married young lady said that if a man were to merely give her flowers she would promptly dump her husband (if I remember the interview correctly).
*I've found your channel fascinating and this 2 part Finnish "chapter" on Dating Beyond Borders the best yet. Hence my very first reaction to it. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for making this wonderful video about Finnish culture & dating, Marina! So honored to be a part of it🧡 Kiitos!
Thank you! I found out so much about Finnish culture/dating scene through you. Next time - sauna 🧖🏻♀🧖♀
I’m actually doing a project on Helsinki city for being smart and sustainable city 😂😂… let me know if anyone can help me.
Love from Canada 🍁
@@DatingBeyondBorders sex is a part of a healthy human life. Aswell as food.
Hookups aren't healthy the same as Junkfoods are.
In my experience Finns are the most chill, no messing about people I’ve met. The girls I’ve met made it clear pretty quickly if they were interested and it was a real breathe of fresh air.
I must be uggo then
Growing up in a Chinese family, I never heard my parents tell each other they loved each other. They did but it was just never said. And it’s also true that Chinese people show love through actions more vs words.
Fins are so polarised, summer fins, winter fins, day time fins and night time fins 😅
haha very, very true!
And Almost Finns! 😄
@@almostfinns 😂
@@almostfinns what’s an almost fin?
@@tallisinwonderland4724 It's the name of our YT channel. We are three international living in Finland and we speak Finnish in our videos. Come and see! We also have subtitles in 4 languages!
Finland is really one of my fave countries. I felt more at home and at ease with the social codes there than in my own country 😂
Great video, as always.
I am Brazilian and I find it so odd how people there are so sexually open (which is a GOOD thing), but are extremely closed off with their emotions. In Brazil talking about your feelings is normal and encouraged, but I personally think that getting naked in front of someone I don't really know well is waaayyyy more vulnerable than talking about feelings. I can talk about my feelings all day, but I get nervous about being naked lol
....stop lying. Brazilians aren't that reserved sexually.
and they also have high depression rates
And how women are forced to behave like men to prove they are"independent"...They arent open or modern at all,they all cater to men while pretending to like it too.Very sad.A lot of lazy men there.
@@joas3324 the men became beta males. hahaha. as they say, the women there became the very same kind of men they hated.
@@mirieshii1948 Exactly!!Well said!!!
It is so right for you to include alexi himself! he has done many videos on this subject aswell, im sure these help people who arent familiar with the social fabric of finland.
Good stuff!
Love Finland! Did my Erasmus there! Honoust people and they love to party. Loved it cant wait to go back
So , basically the best way to talk with them about feelings is when they are drunk , not extrovert like people from other countries
Most ppl are introverts, statistically.
Northern countries have even higher introvert / extravert ratio.
@@Samaelish agree , like people from the America Continent , since the North until the south are more extrovert , talk louder than others
@@henri191 yes, it's true that hot climates sometimes have more extraverted nations. On the other hand, asians turned it 180 degrees. They have moist, hot climates and they are the most intraverted cultures.
@@Samaelish china is not introvert
@@Србомбоница86 China, Japan and SoKor aren't. But that's because they have social rules that bound them (unlike Nordics where freedom is top most). China is not as strict as Japan and Korea for sure. South east Asia are way more extroverted.
The English word "Love" is very soft. The Finnish word "Rakastan" (I love) has every hardest consonant in the Finnish language, with a bunch of As in between. That's not a word that slips out, and those aren't words you throw out carelessly.
As an American guy, I find it funny that Finns find it difficult to hold a conversation, but they have no problem hooking up. It seems to me that those two aspects of Finnish culture should be flipped around. Having a healthy body image is great, but shouldn't it also come with a healthy dose of confidence?
Personally, I am an extrovert, but I am very private as well. I have no problem starting a conversation with anyone, but my deepest secrets and feelings only come out when I am with someone whom I love. True trust takes time to earn.
Yeah, it's a kind of psychological compensation. Suppressing feelings for some reason.
Ya like the American dating scene is so great. NO
@biibiib buubuub There's something called phatic communication, which means to communicate with another person to gauge the personality of the other person and to stablish some basic rapport.
This is the main purpose of small talk or basic conversations and that's very important because communication is not just the words that you say but also your facial expressions, voice tone and body language. But unfortunately the social skills of most Finns are so lacking that they don't understand this concept and overthink the purpose of a conversation.
@biibiib buubuub You missed the point. What I'm saying is that they really struggle to make conversations with new people because they have very poor social skills and don't understand what phatic communication is. It's something that could be fixed easily if socializing wasn't something discouraged by Finnish culture
@biibiib buubuub Really? This is literally what everyone says in Finland, you can ask any random person in Finland what are Finns like and they'll tell you that they're very shy and struggle communicating. I don't know what those statistics have to do with this.
Thank you Marina, Dante, and Oleh for filming, editing, interviewing and making this Finland series!
The views look very cinematic. I learned several important things from this video!
Hope to see the series going to Norway in the future. I believe that Marina never hooked up. I really do 😉
😂
With my personality, I would be stuck in the middle.
If I was in Southern Italy or Sicily, I would be looked at like I'm a Finnish man. But if I was in Finland, I would be loud enough to be mistaken for a Southern Italian or Sicilian man.
Same here. In Finland, I'm considered loud and different (I'm not shy to say my opinion, I give people compliments). In Canada, I'm considered reserved and almost rude. I don't make small talk enough and I don't say people's names when I'm talking to them.
I'd like to take a moment of silence for all the women dating Finnish men. 🤣 As a Mexican American I can say the lack of romance and communication is by far the hardest part to deal with. Thank for making this video, it made me feel so validated in my frustration lol.
Dates are inherently unnatural for connecting with people, since you have to represent yourself while also trying to get to know the other person.
Also, I think a part of what makes interactions between men and women awkward, is that if you as a man treat the woman as your equal with equal input on the date, you end up in a decision paralysis of neither making choices. It's hard being to assertive, especially if you don't know the other person.
Most Finnish women also tend to want to pay for themselves, so choosing a venue for a date can be tricky.
For me the solution seems pretty clear, don't do dates; Meet people in hobbies and activities and spend time together there. Go eat or for a coffee together afterwards and see if you click.
I think men and women are pretty good at communicating once they get past on the "Date number n" part and just start being a couple, but dates are a shitty way to fall in love.
her finland and aleksi himself are two finnish youtube legends for us foreigners straight up
sex is a part of a healthy human life. Aswell as food.
Hookups aren't healthy the same as Junkfoods are.
The big city mentality and norms effects on how people seem and behave on streets. Also seasons and the weather have a big effect. Couples meet in bars, clubs, parties, cruises, but also often in schools, workplaces, through hobbies etc. and traditionally in social dance events. In those social dance events people don't have to express their feelings, because there's that artist as a Cyrano de Bergerac to express the feelings in behalf of people through the lyrics. The Karaoke culture is probably an extension to that. If you ask people when they feel they are in a loving relationship the most, it's probably not going to be when they get flowers, compliments on their looks or other verbal acknowledgements. If you ask women to tell their favorite stories about their husbands, they actually might not tell about the times when their husbands behaved romantic gentlemen like. And since saying "I love you" or something towards that is a big thing, there are euphemisms used to express deeper feelings.
Finns can be shy but living in the USA as an European you get so darn tired of the fakeness and phoniness of people, the shallowness, the lack of wittiness, how basic people’s conversations are. I know not all Americans are like that, but the majority I have encountered were. I would still prefer any European to an American (north and south), maybe Canadians may be different.
You europeans are too needy to take politeness as real friendship. These are manners. Would you approach a grumpy French guy or a smily American? It's like your co-worker does you a favour and you think he is hitting on you
Canadiens have the same phoniness
"Have a great day"! But they don't really mean it? I get that.
Same here Indian as well.
i don't think those are fake. they are just simply more cheerful. that's definitely better than the rude european style where you can see dark and sad faces most of the time.
The energy you have with Varppu is so positive and funny
I've been living 3 years in Finland and I think the video is very spot on almost everything and their read on Finnish dating culture is very accurate. I've experienced that to be successful with Finnish girls you need to act more like a Finnish guy, as the lady described Finnish guys are quite passive and wait for the woman to do a lot of the moves but that's what works the best. Most Finnish women get uncomfortable when guys try to make moves, give compliments or show interest, that's why it's better to take things very slowly and let her make the moves, most Finnish women are comfortable moving things forward when they want to.
However I think they weren't being honest regarding the hookup culture because I've talked to a lot of people and the nightlife scene has been deteriorating drastically specially after covid. A lot of friends have told me that the hookup culture and nightlife used to be very active 10 years ago but it has been declining since then. What remains of the hookup culture is restricted mainly to tinder now.
This video gives mixed signals (probably like the culture there). One group of woman said they were dying for men to be more social and the other confirmed what you said. One thing is for sure, the men ended up like this for a reason. Maybe I'm making a bias connection here but this awkwardness in male/female dynamic seems to follow in cultures where the women are liberated/equals. We know what comes along with that, high divorce rates, single parent households, deterioration of the family unit and values, less couples, lower birth rates, etc. It is so bad in Japan that the free market has monetized the relationship experience. Men are now paying for the company of women with no sex, just to feel a connection. The men there are so unconfident when it comes to talking to women they choose not to even try. It's no wonder the Fins needed alcohol courage just to say hello.
@@chazly30 It looks like mixed signals but in reality they're just not telling you the whole story, they find most Finnish guys boring but even if they find foreign guys more attractive it's not going to matter because they won't be comfortable with them, it will take them a lot of effort being comfortable with a man that is more extroverted and most of them will just give up and sabotage themselves.
I don't think that women independence is the issue here, I'm Colombian and to be honest I think the women there are a lot more independent than Finnish women. The issue comes from a culture where socializing is discouraged and the dating culture is too basic, it's the fault of both men and women, as you can see from the video Finns refuse to connect with other people and takes it them a very long time to do it, they don't know how to flirt and they're weary of people showing interest. This is why there are so many singles here in Finland and most people break up, it's exactly as you said, I rarely meet people who are in a relationship here in Helsinki, most of them are single.
@@sanher20 You put out some mixed signals of your own there lol. The very first sentence in your response you both disagreed and then agreed by giving an example of mixed signals saying "...find foreign guys (extroverts) more attractive.....they won't be comfortable with them........most of them will just give up and self sabotage". If I had to deal with this I would be less inclined to make an effort too. Communities where individuals choose to live by more "old fashion" standards don't have these kind of problems. They're not problem free but these kind of social distortions only happen in "liberated societies". Dull men don't help but there's more to it then that, right? Doesn't sound like we're totally disagreeing.
@@chazly30 I wouldn't call what they do a mixed signal because there is a deeper problem in there that is related to their passive culture and low self esteem, they are telling you what they like but they are not willing to put the necessary effort to get it. Nowadays I don't feel very motivated to talk to them to be honest, the main reason why I'm in Finland is because life is very easy here, but dating here is very disappointing, however you can sometimes get very lucky and meet a very fun Finnish girl, which is rare, or a girl from another country.
@@sanher20 Why would they put the necessary effort in? The women say that's what they want but then don't engage back because the guy "might expect something". MIXED SIGNALS lol. So what came first the chick or the egg? You're saying the men's low self esteem (which leads to passivism) made it like this? I'm saying dealing with those kind of women killed their confidence and gave the guys low self esteem. I mean I wouldn't waste my time and it sounds like you don't either. I feel like we're going in circles but am I wrong?
You should do an episode in small town Ireland next. And ask the older generations what dating was like back in the day. Have you done an Ireland episode already?
As a Finnish man I've found that generally Russian women are more easy to read and approach than Finnish women. Then there's that practical and nature loving Finnish side of me that's like "why cut a bouquet of flowers off the ground to give to someone and not let them live and grow instead". Sooo dating life has always had some contradictions, no matter who I meet 😅
As for the hook up thing, I think it might also be an extrovert vs introvert thing (though not always). I always looked for a deeper connection through mutual interests.
This is refreshing to hear! The US is renowned for its hook up culture, but there are many of us, like you, who long for the deeper connection.
@@inconnu4961 Nice to hear :) I think these personality types exist everywhere. Things like media and entertainment might make the other seem more prevalent in specific places.
No experience with Finnish women but with Russian and all I can say is while it is easy to approach them, they usually are the total opposite of the portrayed Finnish women when it comes to dating and casual sex which is almost not happening and most are looking with intentions like serious dating. Hooking up with them at first date is very rare.
@@hasana.3078 Yes, that's correct. Most Russian women are not "easy" in that way. I only talk about serious dating and how smoothly things go in creating some kind of bond. But I think the same goes for Finnish women who are looking for a partner, most will not jump to bed directly.
@@hasana.3078 Lol, Russian women are as easy as Finnish women IF YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE. There is literally NOTHING you need to do. Their legs spread wide on the first date no problem.
This channel is awesome for two things, knowing about dating around the world and also improving your listening skills in english with all the accents lmao I need to watch it more
I am curious about the Finns lifestyle satisfaction when they get older. At min 12:15 she said it is not a stigma to be divorced or a single mom in Finland and they are said to be the happiest people in the world. From a little googling, it appears they have a 60% divorce rate and had their lowest marriage rate in a hundred years. It would appear from her that marriage is not that important and the majority of people will be alone when they are older (Not implying lonely). Interesting to see if this is the direction of the rest of all western countries. More free sex, less marriage and more single parent households. (no value judgment just an observation)
Divorce happens if the relationship fails. Statistics have shown that marriage is becoming less and less common in Finland.
Marriage is not seen as a necessary part of starting a family anymore, most finns especially in the south are very irreligious to begin with. I come from a family where my dad was divorced and never married my mum, and I grew up happy and normal. I knew a lot of others whose parents were married and it honestly had nothing to do with how the kids or the family turned out in the end. Harder to comment on the 'free sex' part other than that most people here don't take sex too seriously but I have a hunch we're still a bit more conservative on that front in comparison to some others. I honestly don't see a problem sleeping around (though I never have) if you don't want anything serious for the moment.
I think the happiness thing is more about people feeling content with life and not worrying about their future as much (due to stable income and a safety net) and I think a lot of other nordics would agree with my take.
I think that shows a true equalitarianism between men and women. Typical from Iceland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark and I guess Finland too.
@@klimtkahlo I hear you but 2 things I would say. In both marina’s vids you seem to hear Finnish girls both wanting men not to help them (individuality) and wishing they would be somewhat more chivalrous. Also still does not answer the question about are they all happy when everyone is single at 70
that's because the parameter for the survey of happiest countries are financial (where Finland is high on), healthcare etc. not necessarily happy people.
Please make same episode about ESTONIA.
So true about the Finnish men's compliments. It doesn't really feel like a compliment when they say I have nice boobs/ass. It makes me feel like a piece of meat. Complimenting something else makes a man stand out, not just be like all the other men.
LMAO! what flavor is your Koolaid? do you ever ask or wonder how much money a man makes? men are often seen as human bank machines, so we feel your pain!
@@inconnu4961 in Finland we women earn our own money. I have never wondered how much money a man makes. I don't let men to pay for my drinks/food/whatever. Actually it's more the rule in Finland that everyone pays for themselves. And even married couples often have their separate finances. So cool down with your beverages that aren't sold in Finland.
I have this issue with Finnish women all the time because most of them can't take compliments, they almost never believe them or don't understand the intention behind them. I've found it's better to just do a very light flirting with them and give them very few compliments or no compliments at all.
if i were to compliment a girl on her boobs or ass id get blocked or told off.
are you girls ok if we compliment on those things?
@@putiner2039 at least I'm not ok with that kind of compliments and I don't know any other woman who would like that kind of compliments
Huge fan of this channel for promoting love all around the world❤
Tqvm Marina for this most insightful clip. Learned quite a bit about this beautiful nation and their culture. Karaoke bars - Wow!, I am sold. But only after a few beers. Most definitely make it a point to visit Nordic & Scandinavian countries soon.
I do think the hook up scene is big in Finland but I also think we are somewhat more "traditional" and conservative compared to the other Nordic countries, like Sweden for an example.
And btw, if you want to meet a more outgoing sort of a Finn: go to karelia, that's different 😂👍
@Alex Sulonen In what way would you say you're more traditional and conservative than us Swedes? I'm half Finnish myself but have never lived in Finland
but aren't half finland males incels ?
@@hunterthompson6737 Half Finnish males incels? I live in Sweden, I don't know about half Finnish males but why would they be?
@@MissSylvia67 i think i saw a study or stats saying half finnish males aren't even having sex at all
@@MissSylvia67 the question why would they be , in incel theory a small minority of males sleeps with most of the women while most males are sexless and that might be worse in scandinavian countries where feminism is very strong .
What a great video, I absolutely loved it! I hope that you will make a video about estonians as well 🇪🇪❤
Such a great video Marina! 🤩Thank you very much for inviting us! As we usually say: we'll be here whenever you want. ❤
Finnish guy here. I dont know about others, but I often see people i want to compliment on. But i never do, because i dont want to come across as creepy/weird. I think most Finns feel the same way, but they then use alcohol as an excuse, to voice out their comments about others and to flirt. That way, they can always blame the alcohol, if things get awkward. I have never done that, but its because i get quiet, when im drunk. I have trouble speaking at the best of times, but when im drunk, my ability to remember words, plummets even further. Normally i might have 90% chance of remembering any given word, but when im drunk, it drops to maybe 20 or 30% (idk if my shitty memory is genetic, or because my mom was regularly drunk whenever she was pregnant 🤷)
Anyways. I want to say that Finns are on average, much more introverted, than most other people. Sure, we have some extroverts, but they are relatively rare (i would guess extroverts are about as common in Finland, as left handed people). I have seen many TH-cam and Tiktok videos, where the people have claimed to be introverts. But nearly always, they come across as, what would be considered as extroverts in Finland. I like to think im a super introvert. I regularly go days, even months without saying a single word (longest time i have gone without speaking, was 6 months). Even so, i have seen a lot of Finns, who make me look like an extrovert! Its crazy here! 😳
Very interesting! Thank you!
LOVE these videos.
Everything in your video makes the "dry comedy" from Lake Woebegone on the "Prairie Home Companion" that much funnier.....especially "I love you" on the deathbed!! Great video! DD
Finnish men are very shy reserved and hesitant to make first move to the girl they like just like myself. I would fit right in there.
This is rather one-sided presentation. Why not ask the men what's wrong with the Finnish women?
You don't even need to ask them. You can see it right away. They (the women) want to be the men in a relationship but don't want the responsibility that comes with it.
@@mirieshii1948 Or perhaps they know that it will be shot down if they try. "Why are you saying such nice things to me? What have you done? What's going on? Why are you buying me chocolates? Why are you holding the door? I'll get it myself. You think I need help?"
@@Sisterlisk right. Progressive women in the west tend to find offense in everything. Then complain why there's no "good men" left.
Because women hate criticism and wont tolerate it! Only men tolerate criticism.
@@Sisterlisk I don't understand the concern. Can you elaborate?
Charlotte should really move back to Canada or the US.
Her thoughts here are golden, especially the challenges she face when interacting with Finnish guys.
I'd like to see the full conversion.
I dated a Turkish woman and she was much more intentional with me than finnish women have been, and our conversation flowed much smoother in english
1:21 - has this bartender girl worked in Japan? I met a Finnish bartender girl there looking pretty much like her, she was really nice, my favourite type of a lady.
Chill, open minded women, and karaoke bars?!?!? I mean, I have been a fan of Finland for a while, but I really gotta get there ASAP!!!
Perhaps my karaoke skills will be appreciated in Finland. 😆
Another great video Marina!
karaoke is a pretty recent phenomenon in Finland (as being very popular), it has exploded hand in hand with social media and all the narcissism it entails.
Awesome video
Those 5 friends were awesome, such a fun gals group!
Great videos, I suggest to visit northern, western and easter parts of Finland too cause dating is different in a different areas. Tho ppl might be acting similar, but it aint the same thing in every corner of Finland 😅
Dating a reindeer in lapland
Let's be honest,nordic/Scandinavian men are not exactly the most dynamic folk are they. They have other qualities but interaction (romantic) with women is not their strong point.
They are normal men! They have their dignity, they are smart and respectable! Women seek a clown with a red nose to entertain them like they are little girls!
You are just talking about most guys in first world counties nowadays
@@JAG214 thats because of feminism and how women act towards men. there is no incentive to be tactful with women given how they treat men. western women are masculine, rude, narcissitic and entitled, and have abandoned everything men value beyond looks. women ruined western countries and families. no man is thrilled to interact with a western woman beyond sex because they are mostly just horrible people, especially to men.
I don't agree with that. I think they are very dynamic people and they are in general very respectful towards women.
What a nice content☺️ success always🙌🏻✨ greetings from Brazil😊🇧🇷
Same in Austria - we do not say 'I love you' that often. But in case it is said it means something. And - for sure - divorce rates here are far lower than US.
“Not a classic one night stand start” 😂
The bartender girl looks EXACTLY like Anna Bey, it's insane
Im a Finnish man and had a traditional very old school upbringing in the family while living in both Finland and Sweden from small rural places in the country to bigger cities. I consider that there is definitely a thing in the Finnish culture regarding social interaction between people who dont know each other especially between men and women. I would say Finnish people not to be more introverted than others but more reserved in general.. I think we have forced reservedness, "you should not disturbe others" and boys are still beeing brought up to do back breaking work and be cannon fodder in an eventual war without complaining, also that old upbringing instilled manners!
Then why do they remain introverts even if other people themselves show interest in them (that is, no anxiety)
It is the most difficult thing on Facebook to “make friends” with Finnish (not only they will not be accepted, but they will definitely send a complaint for a spamer request for friends)
@@botlfpx you might simply met pure introverts, also consider that some just want to be anonymous on the internet. Its a part of the Finnish culture to be reserved towards strangers, one thing that plays a big role is that Finland for a long time was a country to emigrate from not a country to immigrate to, immigration to Finland didn't really start until the 90s. I don't think Finland has much more introverted people than other countries, but we do have a Finnish culture.
@@jarmomoskuvaara It’s “strangers” on the street And what kind of “strangers” can there be on a social network, where you can see from photos and posts a person’s whole life (family, how he works and rests, what he is interested in) I have been to Finland 2 times, I go to concerts and it is in my profile. But there is less interest and friendliness in me than in poor Syrian or African immigrants.
@@botlfpx so your experience has been that some finns accept or want to befriend some immigrants better than others? Can I ask where you are from, I assume you are a man?
I feel like some women want conversations to be more like chit-chat, kinda all over the place, and men keep it too straightforward. 😭
great video
Sweden, specifically Stockholm, is the hook-up scene of Europe.
Which ethnicity do Swedish women find most attractive?
wow i am yet to encounter a single finnish woman, all of them are seemingly in happy relationship with finnish guy so very contrasting from real life experience
Always good to see Varpu! She seems like a good wife and good mom.
I'm jealous of her husband and kids!
Awww kiitos! This melts my heart 🧡
It's sounds like Finland is very much like Japan when it comes to dating
Now i want to learn finés and go to date in Finland😀
Biggest takeaway for men: approach in a calibrated way.
Just talk to Finnish women. We're all gonna leave this world one day. We'll regret for the days we did NOT do than we did.
Say "I love you" more often and of course in Finnish.
Make a move and try to kiss them first before asking them to go home.
Any man who can handle social situations, has confidence and sense of humor, will succeed dating in Finland. There is little competition. :D
Forget all claims of Finnish women being strong and independent. They resent having to take the initiative and rather long for being courted the old fashion way.
@@perkelix Yeah no worries. I'll make my moves on them and court them and sweep them off their feet
@@perkelix I like that they're independent in the way that they would pay for half of the dates and can take care of kids
@@Sammi_Kristiansen They wouldn't.
"sober techno parties" big lol.
Another great video! I want to meet the bartender girl lol, and the woman who is more my age who talks about the sandwiches the bars give you. You're a great interviewer!!
I am not surprised those interviewed girls look forward for more compliments.
Scandinavian cultures seem rather similar to Japanes and Korean social culture. Interesting.
True. There are many similarities with them.
Affections verbally and actions are important.
Well this is very interesting... sounds like a lovely place... i love to travel ... it's now on the list. Love european women... actually europe in general... less judgemental- willing to explore ..
Iceland takes the crown for hookups. The girl at the bar looks like the elf queen or the lady of the woods in the Lord of the Rings.😊
sex is a part of a healthy human life. Aswell as food.
Hookups aren't healthy the same as Junkfoods are.
Another thing is how is silence connecting. Sure when you get to know the person and the relationship is well established you have quiet time, like if you are reading or watching a show or out walking or about alone or with friends. One thing that was different with my German husband he wants or like being near me. We spend loads of time together before kids, now he’s with one daughter doing this or with the other doing that or out by himself or with me. He’ll tell me I love you. Or he’ll buy gorgeous flowers or he do the silliest things like I swing by the mall and got you some popcorn. Like I said he is as in European as it comes. He is patient with me emotionally and that’s why I love him to the sun and back. I needed someone tender loving kind thoughtful and just so much fun. Could any Swedish, Norwegian or Finnish guy get there? If these people can’t get there in a life time why in Gods name would I want anything to do with these people even as a friend. No I still feel they are on a completely different plant and please stay there.
Couldn't agree more with you, LOL. They're on a very weird planet and I hope they all stay there together :)
outsiders marrying finnish person gets you ''finnish life sentenced''. moving to finland with your finnish spouses, in most cases.
I live in Tampere, Finland, since more than 5 years. I have a Finnish boyfriend since 6 years, that's why I moved here. But I can only again say, it would be so nice, SO NICE, if Finnish men would do something. Dates, saying nice things, outgoing, going out, buying flowers, saying nice things, something, but nope. You can basically wait forever. I feel like if you go on a date with a Finnish guy once in a year, you are lucky. Finnish guys are VERY passive and as that one woman said, we have to do basically everything, and that's true. And yes, unfortunately Finnish people, especially men, drink a lot and expect to be in the same first night in their bed. These moms are lucky. I wish I would have a night alone, without kids and dad is taking care of them, that I can have fun. I wish that this would happen at some point to me too.
You need to communicate your wants with some men. Some men want instructions and they don't resent it.
Welcome to equality toots! now you are equal with men! time you do a little work and earn your keep! dont you like sex too? women act like they do men a favor when they sleep with them once in a blue moon! Your experience with the Finnish men is like most mens experience with most women! women dont do anything positive, think they have done a man a favor sleeping with him, but will accumulate a very high body count with complete strangers & women ask for the world on a silver platter! but are utterly CLUELESS that they do any of this!
@@inconnu4961 "dont you like sex too?" What kind of question is that? No I do not like it. Yes it is a favor towards men. I know that not all women are or think like this, but I do. So far, in my experience, a lot of women sleep with men just to keep them happy towards them and the children, if there are some, and to keep the relationship smooth. If you think that women are clueless and stupid, that is on you and your problem then
@@mizulightblue you seem like a nightmare
@@SoulWeasel69 I might be yours, yes.
Happy Friday, Marina! Have a great time in Finland 🇫🇮
Who is the bartender girl in the vid? The one at 1:32
Stop the Finnish men slander. We aren’t all like that
the entire western media is about hating on men and making men weak. basically men act like women and women act like men. hook up culture is horrible. womens pair bonding ability gets wrecked by sex with different men because of biological differences in sexual psychology. western men arent enthusiastic about dating women who are not feminine, not traditional, not submissive and not virgins. there is no point approaching girls anyway
@@sshreddderr9409Facts.
If people would walk up to and talked to other people they found cute/interesting there would be no end to social interactions ever and the world would end.
Good video.... :D
I find it funny that you only added subtitles for the Canadian girl 😅
Yeah well if your game is on point there's next to no competition here in finland
I have bad memories from dating and being in relationships with Finnish men (not women). Thank God I move abroad :) Feeling much better, here everyone smiles and talks to each other like normal people in broad daylight. The horror :)
Ai säkin oot sellanen normaali puhuva ihmispallero.
I think different cultures have a different interpretation of openness. In my opinion, Finnish men are more open than Canadian men because they are more sincere. They mean what they say, even if they might not say much or come across as too shy. Canadian men do talk more, but they're usually full of crap. Living in Canada, I feel like people are rarely sincere. They have the American capitalist approach to socializing where you always have to sell yourself and show your best side at all times. I don't consider this being open at all.
My ex its not Finnish but ,he behaves like a Finnish man according people in this video , rarely said I love you,or buy me flowers,or talk about his fellings,only talk about how he was feeling when he was drunk,he is shy also honestly I think that men in general whatever is their nationality can suck at most of this things....Any way if I survived 5 years with my ex a non Finnish man that behaves like a one,I definitely can survive in a relationship with a Finnish man.
Amun urang ningali teh tengarti jadi sedih ah
damn I would kill it in Finland!
My new friend is Finnish.
Karaoke always make me unease somehow.
Thanks, good to know. I have had that impression of Finns, but still thought that maybe there are socially and soully smooth ones too, gentlemen and ladies. I was put off by an app-dater-to-be for not making an effort towards em although I made an extensive, telling presentation and not responding empathically to my personal, long emails. he rather criticised mefor it , doesn't seem to read them and is neither grateful nor appreciative, even rolling his eyes verbally when I tell him off and say what I like, need and want, which he ignored, while still expecting to get even more. I feel castrated by such male passivity and lack of courtship, with the audacity of pretention still. I felt drained and frustrated, losing all interest and motivation to go on. I guess I don't excell in dating myself yet, nor in grounding nor in self-worth. But they still have the entertainer-singer Arja Saionmaa, who is more open and warm. Maybe it comes wirh show-business.
I oppose the tall blond man claiming a date with dinner on him without sexual intercourse is lost down the drain, since he - and she(?) - totally miss the gift of feminine essence, beauty and soul. Of course it is often lost or hidden in modern day women, nothing we are brought uo with,learn and cultivate.
No, Its the worst. You cant even talk to strangers here without them looking like theres something wrong with you. Other cultures are more open so its easier to talk to people from other cultures.
Finnish people sound like robots 🤖🤖 when they talk English
What she says about flowers, yes. Finnish men have very little romantic sense. Now that more foreign men are here, they need to step it up.
That's why they long for it now haha.. Because they know it exists. Before the internet, Finnish women didn't know what was available in other countries' dating cultures.
We were brought up like that. If I bring flowers to my wife, she asks "what did you do ? Why?" That really does not encourage buying flowers, right?
@@IkeVMAX4 On the rare occasions I get flowers I almost cry it is so special to me. Even the ones from the supermarket, but that is just me.
@@pamelakilponen3682 I usually bring flowers on birthdays, anniversaries etc. So 2 times a year. That much is expected.
@@IkeVMAX4 Exactly! a woman can take any innocent gesture and turn it into a crime! Women are crazy, and should be avoided!
Reminds me of Minna Häkkinen :)
"Classic onenight" 😂
Interesting to see all these Finnish videos. Most guys I talk to seem to want to avoid Finland. They prefer the other Scandinavian countries, especially Estonia. Belarus is the place to be IF you can get a decent Visa. That place seems to be the favorite. Although I do not have experience with this myself so I cannot comment on it. Out of the northern most countries that I have seen videos on from channels like yours and many others I would probably like to try my hand in Norway the most. Swedes and Fins seem to be too uptight for my tastes. These are great videos though and help me plan my trips better.
Finland at least is almost Scandinavian but Estonia? And were you lumping Belarus to Scandinavia as well??
Sorry but you have no idea what you’re talking about
@@hoo_jii sorry but I do. I subscribe to a bunch of traveling daters, not just DBB. Why all the hate? Im guessing its political. So if you dont have a valid reason kindly not reply. This is why American men are looking for women in other countries. Tired of the hate.
@John_Conner222 I don't have a dog in this fight, but Estonia isn't part of Scandinavia (neither is Finland, but it's considered a Nordic country). Belarus isn't a Scandinavian cointry either.
@@toomuchinformation You are correct I just kinda lump them all together because they have similar characteristics that I am looking for. Estonia and Belarus are more like the Nordic countries than their Slavic neighbors. Estonian people look Nordic while their Hungarian or Bulgarian neighbors do not. I guess its been a habit of mine. I usually lump the UK and even Germany into that group sometimes as when I visit those countries it feels Nordic so Its just been a habit of mine to lump them together. I try not speak it out loud because it obviously offends. Patriotism is a real thing and I respect it.
No. It's Spain.
Where does it say it's easy to have sex?
Subscribe just now, from Manila Philippines. 🇵🇭👍😀
Nordic people are just miss understood. We don't need to be all the same.
My experience with women is if the woman is not feminine naturally you wouldn't feel like doing more flirty things to her because it would seem like she does not like all of that and she strong independent. So they are giving out totally contradictory signals to men. On one hand they want to be like men but they dont really want to be like men because they are not. None of them said they approach men first or bring them flowers.
I completely agree, they have an internal conflict regarding their femininity and independence so they don't know what to do. The most traditional Finnish women don't receive flirting very well so you need to become more passive and let her make the moves.
@@sanher20 yes very expected. I am amused they say they prefer Italian or Spanish men , or even US men..how many of them fit the mold of a Italian or Latin woman ? lol Spanish , Italian or Latin women are much much more open and fun.
@@Valkyri3Z They do like foreign men but they contradict themselves again. They like the confidence and that most foreign guys are more fun but they still want them to be passive and let them make the moves.
They also tend to be very passive themselves, not show interest, not talk unless drunk, not flirt which makes things more boring as you said.
@@sanher20 its basically grass is greener on the other side syndrome.. lol
We aew here
Sounds like the guys lack social skills. Is there any material you suggest for guys on how to approach and connect with women?
Social skills do not matter the least in dating. It is all about looks, or money (if one into gold diggers)
@@artomeri7266 You can't be serious. Do you even date? Dating is all about social skills. If you have a confident, charismatic and socially calibrated normal looking guy vs an introverted, shy and awkward supermodel, I can promise you that the normal looking guy wins every single time dealing with women, even if he's on the rather uglier side.
@@VPortho I mean I agree with you but a shy and awkward supermodel would definitely be something the ladies would want over an ugly charismatic guy.
@@VPortho Socially calibrated "normal" guy winning a shy supermodel? :D
Buddy, stop living in the fantasy land.
The supermodel takes the wife of the average guy EVEN if the supermodel is a certified rapist or murderer.
Women do not care about your personality. In fact, most women actually ENJOY abuse. Proven by stats and research all and over again and again.
Both guys and girls lack social skills, making a conversation with a Finnish girl is often very tedious.
bruh this is right next to my office when did she come
Let's be in love make love often go places do things together often
The Nordic chicks still need tp learn that hook-up culture mostly benefits the men.
Why? Both like sex, men and women?
Ah yes, because women don't like sex🤡
@@user-my4lf4bx6v Has nothing to do with liking sex. Women can have sex everyday in a commited relationship. Studies have proven that the vast majority of women cannot have an orgasm during a one night stand.
@@dagda3000 ah yes, because tired inconsiderable people in a committed relationship will have so much better results 🤡🤡🤡
@@user-my4lf4bx6v I dont know if you are a woman. But most women need to feel trust and security to be able to relax enough to have an orgasm. Must not be a serious relationship, can also be a well functioning and stable FWB situation. But ONS are a waste of time for most women and more often than not has negative mental effects.