This is what actively dying looks like hospice care
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 พ.ค. 2024
- This is for educational purposes and I truly believe that understanding the process of end of life, the different stages, can better prepare us for what to expect and ultimately, reduce our fear and anxiety around end of life.
As mentioned in the video, trigger warning, there is video that shows the actively dying stage.
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00:00 Intro
01:25 Trigger Warning - Terminal Secretions
03:12 Trigger Warning - Changes in Breathing
05:25 Trigger Warning - Agonal Breathing
#endoflife #hospice #activelydying
When my sweet mother passed, there was nothing like this. She was not conscious, and we noticed her heartbeat showing in her neck and watched as it got slower and slower. When it stopped, she smiled the most precious smile and her little head just fell gently to one side. My brother had just commented to her, “ Mom, I wish we could see your sweet smile one last time”. It was quite a gift.
My mother had a beautiful transition as well and was not conscious!! We too were blessed with her opening her eyes wide open and the biggest smile ever and then gently closed her eyes again. That was approx an hour or so before she passed. May I ask you a question? Did you mother know Jesus as her Savior?
the woman in the clips is not conscious so I'm not sure why you needed to mention that.
My mother went in a similar manner. I was there to witness her final breath. Still not sure if it was a blessing or a curse!
Thank you. I had the same experience with both of my parents. This is only SOME patients.
Look up Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇
My wife recently passed away, and I was prepared because of your videos. Thank You Julie
Very sorry for your loss.
Deeply sorry for your loss! 😥😥
♥️
Likewise here. My dad passed in September, and her videos helped me through his last few hours.
❤
I sat with my mom as she died a year ago, and she seemed very at peace. She was conscious to the end, but just got weaker and weaker, and faded away reporting no pain. She turned her eyes 45 degrees to look right at me seconds before she took her last breath when I said to her, "I'm sitting with you, like you wanted", (she had previously expressed she didn't want to die alone). She was 85, and everything felt in perfect order.
I'm not ready to see my mom pass and I'm 41, never married and no kids and I'm scared to be alone. 😣
I'm glad you got to be with your mom at the end.
My mother always told me as well that she didn't want to die alone. When she went in 2020 bc of COVID, the hospital wouldn't let any of the family be with her in her final moments. I told them calmly she told me for years she didn't want to go alone but they didn't care and seemed to enjoy my frustration. So thinking I had nothing to lose I charged toward her room only to be tackled by 3 guards who then beat me savagely, and I was arrested. I then got fired at my job bc of the arrest and my wife divorced me. I spent 6 months in jail all bc I wanted to be with my mom when she went. I just hope she knows how hard I tried and how cruel humans can be towards other humans
@@BenDover91187 man that's horrible...I am so sorry. , 😞
@@BenDover91187 next time requst hospice they bring you loved one home to you
What kind of family films a relative dying? Then has put on TH-cam?
I wanted to thank the family who provided the video of their loved ones to provide education to the public.
I just wanted to thank the family who allowed the video of their loved one to be shared. It's risky sharing that intimate moment on the Internet. My respect and gratitude to you.
I was gonna comment the same. Thank you very much for letting us know. 😊
The person passed away and people doing this for educational purpose. They are not disrespecting the person in the video 😅
@@theminegirl3775 I'm assuming from reading the comment the OP is talking about it being "risky sharing an intimate moment like this on the Internet" because of all the anonymous people hiding behind their screen that feel it is in anyway appropriate to type nasty, hurtful things. Knowing how intentionally cruel some people can be for no reason on social media, the family was still kind enough to share this moment for educational purposes.
Did this women gave her agreement? If not, what gives the family the right to put out these videos? Should not be published at all. It's disgusting and derogatory to make money on fucking youtube out of that.
Very true!!!!
I held my mom up, the death rattle was so awful. I was alone, there was a storm so nobody could get here. It was just me and mom. She died in my arms. Her hospice doctor was her piano student growing up so we were close, and I'm so thankful. She gave me tips and massive support. Not sure I'd do it again for someone else but I'm thankful I got to be here with my mom. I was honored she was in my home at the end. I can't believe its been 9 months already.
Yeah, I was alone when both of my Parents passed. I believe it was Lord that got me through. And I believe it was meant to be
You are a good daughter.
People don't understand unless they have been through it themselves.
I believe part of us dies with them when they go as it never feels the same again.
DAwnhasbtoken6304. I'm sorry for your loss. I was at my Mom's bedside when she passed too. It was difficult, but very peaceful.
@@tomsmith8511 Part of us dies with them, but they also leave a piece of themselves with us. I like to think that it fills the hole they leave in our hearts slowly over time. We never stop missing them, but we do begin to heal. 💔❤️🩹♥️
I’m so sorry that you went through that. I can imagine how traumatic that would’ve been. Sending love ❤
“ the more we know
the less we fear “
amen
thank you so much
KNOW JESUS CHRIST or there is plenty to fear.
I was holding my father's hand when he took his last breath. It wasn't the same as in this video. He had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He was on a morphine drip. No laborded breathing. I was not scared. I was not sad. I actually felt peace and from nowhere I started praying the Lord's Prayer out loud. I have never in my life prayed it with as much heartfelt conviction as I did in those few minutes. Every shred of doubt that I ever had about what happens to us when our bodies die is gone. My father, mother and 3 brothers are all united together in Heaven next to Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.🙏
I’m sorry for your loss
Glad that he knew Jesus!
On a serious note. Hospice nurses have my highest respect. Idk how you all do it. Thank you for being you and doing what you do during the most difficult time for people. You always have a special place in my heart
Yes and to veterinarians as well who have to put our pets "to sleep".
They have a high "self deletion" rate--maybe primarily because of this--and I want them to know that they are very much appreciated.
@@RealHomeRecording ,
For real. My bosses wife is a hospice nurse and I have no idea how she can be the beaming person she is. Guess it's a different respect for life.
@@NoreenaEckert thank you for all you do ☺ I just ran across your site and I am glad I did as I am getting older now and have always wondered about these things.
So true. One of our local and much loved vets took the 'self deletion' route as having to put any animal to sleep weighed so heavily on him. A lovely man and much missed.@@RealHomeRecording
I was with my grandmother when she passed, and it was exactly like this. I’ll never forget it. Honored to have been by her side.
I, too, was with my grandmother when she passed. This was in the hospital. The nurse explained to my mom and me what would happen as far as the breathing so we wouldn't think she was gasping for air in a traumatic way. Anyway, she passed, at 92, just as we were told. That was 22 years ago and I miss her more than ever.
I was with my 94 year old aunt for her final days and it was just like this too. My cousin and I traded time slots as we refused to let her be alone when she passed. I cherish the time spent with her. She finally passed about 15 minutes after I left one day and we like to think she was staying strong and didn’t want to go with me there. She waited until my cousin Dee, her main caretaker, was there and I was gone. I really miss her.
Same here, but with my dad. It was so hard to see him so frail and small - this man who used to lift me up off the ground when he hugged me. My mom and sister went home, knowing he would likely not last the night. That’s still unthinkable to me… but it did mean I got to be there alone with him at the end and like you, it felt like an honor ❤
@@Teal_Seal I'm so about the loss of your dad, so sad. I'm so glad that you got to be there with him at the end though, that's great.
@Image-X I agree. I really feel that they know who is around them. My whole family was around my dad when he passed except for my brother he just left the house because he was feeling like he just couldn't cope at the moment and it was within 5 minutes after he left the house that my dad passed. We called him my brother back after he passed.
I guess my husband and I were blessed with a different experience. He died of blood cancer, but there was no death rattle, he was breathing just ike he was sleeping, quiet and peaceful. He died at home, one hour after hospice was called in. The nurse said she was going to give him pain meds, and I said for what? He was not in pain, never had any pain with his blood cancer! He was watching the NFL football playoffs the day before he died, as usual. The hospice nurse was amazed that he died so fast and peaceful. She said he knew he had to go, and went to Heaven quickly to be reunited with his family. It was a beautiful experience, nothing like this video. I was so grateful.
Jason did you read my comment??? MY HUSBAND HAD ZERO DRUGS!
That was such a blessing ma'am!
Thank you😊
I am grateful that this person and their family would give you permission to show others what death may look like. What an act of kind generosity. I do appreciate deeply your videos.
I had the privilege of attending both my parents’ deaths. I found it to be a beautiful experience. It was almost like birthing them into their next stage. It was a powerful full circle event. Thank you for educating people about the death process. And thank you to the family who allowed the footage of their loved one to be shared with us.
I described this similarly. I felt like I supported my dad through "labor" into his next phase.
That's a really beautiful way to look at it
Many people's worst fear is dying alone. I was there along with other close relatives when my grandmother died. It put her at peace/made her happy that all of her immediate family was there during her final moments. I cried typing that out but would have regretted NOT being there.
Look up Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇
That's wonderful. I hope I can think of it that way when my moms' time comes. Thank you!
I’d just like to say how grateful I am to the family of the woman featured in your video, for allowing their videos to be used - and also that I’m very sorry for their loss. This sort of content is so important for educational purposes, but also for helping loosen the taboos around death that often only make things more difficult for the dying, and the bereaved loved ones left behind. Along with Nurse Julie herself, this family have done a very compassionate service to the community in contributing to this content. ❤
I agree. So much thanks to the family for sharing the video and I’m so sorry for your loss :(
Reminded of losing my dad to lung cancer at his last week.
@@melbourneausttours I’m so, so sorry to hear this, friend. I lost my dad back in 2014 and I still miss him every single day. I’m thinking of you, and of all those who loved your dad.
I was a hospital porter, frequently working with deceased patients in an acute hospital and mortuary setting. I must say the opportunity to play a vital role at the end of a persons life has a sense of pride and compassion. Essentially knowing the care of another human did not simply end at their last breath. Thank you for educating the public with the process of end of life.
Thank you for your support to the recently deceased.
Thank you for your role in many families' lives and for your lovely words.
I visited my grandmother in the hospital the day she died, my father waited for me to arrive before he had to run for an errand, it wasn't supposed to be an end of life event but when I walked into the room she was already doing the terminal secretions and I thought she was snoring, so I said "Nice seeing you grandma, I'll talk to you later." called my dad to ask when he would be back but before I finished the phone call the nurse informed me she had passed. I was always a little worried my talking during her sleep shocked her into some sort of medical event, but this video helps sooth some of those concerns, she was already prepared for the end, just waited for me to show up and say goodbye.
My Dad passed away in 1999. Wish I had known that all these phases of active dying were truly normal. It was horrific thinking my Dad was suffering minutes before his actual death. Thank you so much for this video. It has brought me much comfort.
Yes I felt the same about when my mum passed away. I actually used the words horrific. We wasn't given any help from the palliative care so didn't know what to expect, or do.
Yes, I agree with your statement. I wish I knew then what I know now.
Just posted the same , lost someone I was with for 42 years.
I feel what you all feel now. 💜
Me too!
I’ve just lost two patients. I’m about to lose my 3rd because they go in threes. We just had to educate their family on this breathing. I’ll be surprised if he makes it through the night. So glad to give families comfort in knowing they are in no pain.
What do you mean they go in threes? You always lose 3 at the same time?
@@badchunky1 so for some reason it’s a phenomenon that happens in the medical field. I’ve done geriatric care for 8 years and I specialize in Alzheimer’s disease. I truthfully don’t know how to explain it and I doubt nurse Julie would either because who knows why it happens. We just know when 1 goes atleast 2 more will follow shortly after. Some times you’ll get lucky and only lose the one. Being in hospice though it’s what is inevitable as they are out on these services to pass away.
She means she helps kill them- 3 at a time.@@badchunky1
I completely believe in this phenomenon. I'm not a Hospice Nurse, but I've experienced this throughout my entire life. Any time I've lost a friend or family member, it always seems to happen in threes. When I lose one, I immediately wonder who is gonna go next. It never fails. I recall spending time with my great grandmother, who was Cherokee Indian. She was a very spiritual soul, and she was the one who first told me about the phenomenon. I never thought much about it until I became older and started losing loved ones. It ALWAYS happens in threes. 🕊
@@Amberlynn2228 To lose one patient, nurse Lynn, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two looks like carelessness. To lose three…
I've never seen a person pass. She was not in pain and I am thankful that you explained this to us. RIP dear lady.
This is exactly what it was like being present for my grandfather passing. It is possibly the hardest and most difficult thing to witness. The amount of raw emotions is hard to handle.
Exactly what my mom did in her last minutes, I had been watching your videos in the weeks leading up to my mom's death. It still is unreal that my mom is gone.
💗💗💗💗💗
I know what you mean, I was at the hospital sitting next to my mother when she died. They had her knocked out and she died in her sleep. So sorry for your mom. But our moms are better now they are in Heaven.
My mother went unconscious. She just went from there. I don’t remember any gurgling or that fish out of water breathing. Everything just stopped. She didn’t want even an iv. So probably died of dehydration when she wasn’t drinking anymore. I don’t know. Before she got to the last stage she tried to get out of bed. She didn’t know what she was doing. We settled her back down and that was the only time she did that. I was wondering if that was an involuntary flight reaction. It was surprising and I’m so glad she didn’t try that when nobody was in the room.
Very special mother to us all.
God be with you and give you comfort and peace in Jesus name. Holy Spirit surround them and protect them in Your Love in Jesus name.
My apologies if this sounds insensitive, but I was wondering; Would you rather not seen it..? I feel like if this would be someone close to be this would never leave my mind… ☹️
As a retired nurse in oncology, palliative care, and hospice, I applause you for the excellent video you shared to educate others on the stages seen prior to death. It's so important, Sherrey
Thank you for all this information
Wish I had known all these symptoms when my dad passed years ago
You're much appreciated
Your videos and crusade to normalize the dying and death experience is so honest, sensitive, and educational.
As I prepare to say goodbye to my Dad, these have provided a sense of ease and normalcy that remove fear and provide peace.
Thank you.
This was almost an exact duplicate of how my mother passed as I held her hand praying Lord please take her home. It was difficult to watch her pass, as family was gathered around her bed. It changed me forever.
I hope He IS LORD of your life as He says Why do you call me LORD when you do not do as I say? and share with others the gospel (which He also expects of us.
I wish I had seen your videos before my mother passed away. She was in a nursing home at the age of 100, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks when they called me to say she was gone. Thank you for your valuable information and compassion!
I’m an RN and this was very accurate. I’m glad to see the kind respectful videos donated by families used to educate people on the natural process of dying! Don’t be afraid, these people are comfortable and at peace! Thank you Julie for showing what we nurses see all of the time and are comfortable with.
How do YOU know they are comfortable and at peace?
@@su-rv2uq What makes you think she's not at peace or comfortable? Surrounded by family at her last moments of this life. Why wouldn't she be?
@@mesister3862I watched my twin sister die. She was only 55 and the amount of trauma, I continue feeling 2 years later, tells me it wasn't "comfortable" at all. Maybe the difference between old age dying and dying from being in a difficult shutdown of the body?
Is that how you want to die?
We aren’t being told the age of these people or what is killing them. We also don’t know which drugs have been administered.
I have been with two members of my family when they died and both went to sleep and never woke up. I heard no gurgling noises. I understand that the gurgling is produced during to bodily fluids in the throat, but neither my mother nor my nephew made those sounds. My nephew was on a morphine driver due to cancer but my mother was not, she had a massive stroke that shut down her brain.
When my time comes, like everyone else, I want it to be quick and painless. I don’t want to hang on for weeks, wasting away in a coma.
@@lorireed8046
The medical profession are, imo, far too comfortable with the word “comfortable.”
We had massive scandals in the UK because doctors were writing in peoples charts that they were to be made “comfortable.”
What that actually meant was put them on a morphine driver and kill them off so we can free up some beds. It was absolutely disgusting.
The nurses are not absolved from guilt - they are the ones who actually carried out the doctors’ orders!!
It was a bit like the workers at Auchwitz blaming Hitler for their operating the gas chambers.
My brother who died from ALS was similar to the second video but I’d also add there are exceptions (as there is to everything) in that my mom smiled at me, closed her eyes, and then died without a gasp or a pause. It was literally like she just fell asleep and I remain to this day grateful for the ease of her passing. Thanks to the family for their willingness to share such a personal moment in the collective life of their family.
Dont thank them unless the lady gave them permission before hand. This is so personal and should be treated as such unless she wanted to share it
I watched and took care of my dad given him his last dose of morphine And a couple other end of life care medications he needed To stay relaxed because he had terminal agitation badly until we got it under control, He had a l s and I had the privilege of caring for him until the end. A horrific disease to watch someone die from But hospice was a godsend for my family and him. He did suffer 3 days until we got him super medicated With the agitation But I hear that is somewhat normal for some people Without hospice he would not have had a peaceful Final transition. When I saw a l s I felt compelled to reply to your comment I am sorry for your Loss.
@lc4life369 that’s what I was thinking as well.
@@Trinabiss97they posted it to social media so clearly they want the public to see it.
Look up Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇
Seeing my great grandma like this tore me up. I wish I would've had this video then to prepare me. Hospice nurses are true angels! ❤
Seeing my grandfather like this tore me all the way up. No one told me he had gotten that bad 😭
Same thing happened with me and my nan, had no idea what I was about to walk into and now I can't get the image out of my head!
In the last eighteen months I’ve lost both my parents to cancer. I was with them at the beginning and the very end and I must say the experience terrified me and I’ve been tormented since. *NOW* I know that the “stages” were “normal” and it’s brought me great comfort to know they weren’t in pain. I’m grateful that I got to be there for them both (even though they were unconscious when I arrived) but I *do* believe they knew that I was with them. I cannot thank you or the kind family of this lady enough for sharing this and explaining it in easy to understand way. Thank You so much. x
My sincere condolences! I am sorry for your loss, two parents in such a short time....
🙏Sending hugs, love, light, and my deepest condolences. They know you were there til the end. God bless you, and your loved ones 🙏❤️🩹
sorry for you loss but how do you know they were not in pain???
I'm still traumatized from losing dad 2 years ago 😭😭
I feel you so deep❤ They do hear you. 100%! My aunt was dying of brain cancer. She was more like a sister since my grandma raised me. We lost my dad to addiction many years earlier and she had told me her biggest fear was my grandma seeing her die. Her last day, she had been basically unconscious for 2 weeks. The tumor had robbed her of communication. I got home to switch out my grandma and she had the “death rattle” for hours by that time. My grandma finally went to bed and I stayed with her for an hour talking and that I would keep her promise. And then she died. There’s not another feeling in the world like watching someone you’ve loved your whole life die. I don’t even cry anymore. 4 years later I held my grandma as she died and I don’t remember if I cried or not. I think I felt relief because she was so sick and I still feel I should have done more. I am not proud of myself that I couldn’t face her more towards the end. I was suffocating. 10 years of my life vanished while I was trying to work and save their lives. They all died anyway and all I got was 10 years lost.
My MIL w/ Alzheimer's transitioned into actively dying at our home a year ago this Friday. It was during her evening meal that she stopped eating and suddenly looked as if she was slipping into a coma right before our eyes. We called her hospice team to clue us in on what was happening but all they would say was "we can confirm she's had a change in condition". I knew it was the beginning of the end. She surprised us Monday after the weekend passed by being awake and alert and emotionally responsive to my husband lovingly talking to her. We caught her final smiles and wordless, joyful expressions at seeing us on video. She was thirsty so we syringe fed her 1/2 cup of water - she sucked each syringe dry. And then her eyes rolled up, her lids closed halfway and she slipped into that zombie-like coma again. This lasted for the next 6 days, through Thanksgiving and into the following weekend. Prior to that last week we'd seen mottling on her hands, and then it was gone. Then we saw it on a knee, and then it was gone. A few days before the Sunday she passed we saw the mottling in her face, making her look like she had a holographic deathmask. We were sponging her mouth for moisture the whole time she was unconscious. On her last night, her breathing became very mechanical, like a hydraulically mechanized animatronic character. We knew she was close, but we had no idea how close. We went to bed and awoke early the next morning to pick up her sister from flying in last minute on the earliest a.m. flight. Mom's room was quiet. She'd slipped away quietly sometime in the night between 11pm and 6am. Nine days of active dying, like birth in reverse - laboring, transitioning and then passing through the portal of mortality. I had never seen death so closely, nor so naturally before. I felt at that moment exactly what you are saying, Julie: people in our modern society need to see the reality of life and death, its naturalness, its realness. After experiencing my MIL's passing as I did I'm no longer afraid of being there for anyone at life's end. Thank you for all you do to guide the rest of us in the process of dying through your outstanding content. God bless!
My Mom has Alzheimer’s. Thank you for sharing your story. My wish is she goes at home and peacefully.
I like your description of this rather than watching this video. I get that it's for educational purpose but I don't think it should be even filmed. Nearly everyone will see someone go through this so no need to show it. Describing it is sufficient.
Gosh, the way you describe the process also got me thinking it is like birth in reverse.
it's a 're'-birth. ;-)
@@philippamediwake1235
@@Dahmer_Jeff I think it depends on the individual. Personally, I prefer to be able to see what the stages of death are than having it described. When my MIL was in the stages of dying, the nursing staff at the aged care home described to me what to expect. Even though it was described to me, I was not prepared for those stages and it caused me worry and angst. Having seen my MIL pass away in 2019 prepared me for my 86 year old Dad's passing in 2020 and my 90 year old FIL's passing in January of this year. I consider it a privilege to have been by their side as they were in the process of leaving this Earth. Hard to see your loved one die, but an honour to be by their side.
I was with my mom when she passed in 2016. She had heart and kidney failure and we knew it would be any day. She was eating her lunch and talking to me when she died. It was very peaceful. My brother passed eight months later while I was with him in a hospice center from cancer. His nurse didn't think it would be that day but he wanted me there because he said he was dying. He was very peaceful all day until the last minute maybe where his breathing increased. At the time, I held it all together for my loved ones, but it was a life changing time of my life. If I could give anyone advice during times of anticipated loss, it would be to talk about your feelings. Don't take everything on alone because you feel like you don't want to be a burden. When other people offer to be there with you, let them! ❤
I was a hospice nurse in Florida for the first half of my nursing career. I worked in a hospice IPU and continuous care. I have attended 100’s of deaths and when my mom went on hospice here in Tennessee; I was blown away that the level of support or lack there of here than in Florida. My mom passed away in November and her passing was unlike any other I’ve been apart of. Between the lack of support from hospice (no continuous care, no support from “care team”, Social Services and Bereavement) and how she passed, I’m traumatized. I can’t even think about going back into nursing after this. I spent the past four years caring for her full time.
Thank you for educating those that aren’t in the healthcare field and those that have never worked with hospice. I know not all hospice are the same, but this was just purely a horrible experience.
My husband passed in 2022 and hospice had given us reading material that showed the different phases. This was a lot like his breathing at the end. We were able to recognize the stages and realize he was not in pain. Thank you for all you do!
Hi Tammy, how's your day going with you?
Good morning Tammy, how was your night?
My mom passed in August. I was by her side with my 2 sisters. We were with her 24/7 in the end. A night or two before she died, I would record how long each pause between breaths was. I had no idea it was normal. I did a lot of Google searching in her final days. The sights and sounds all seem so scary to the living but I know now it was natural and that she was comfortable and pain free thanks to hospice. Thank you for all you do Julie. 💜
So sorry for your loss.
I did the same with my Mom. I would count how many seconds between gasps and at the end I knew.
Until now, 22 years later, I never know what my dad's end of life true experience really meant, thank you THANK YOU for showing this, this is invaluable.
I had a friend I did errands for when he was at the end of his prostate cancer. He was in a facility and I was considered his NOK so I was called when the end was near. I’m so glad you are educating people about end of life because since I didn’t know what would happen next, I had to leave. It really shook me up! It takes special people to take care of people who are at the end of life. Thanks to all that work to make their transition easier! ❤
I was with both my parents when they passed, two years apart. I feel blessed to have been with them.
My dad passed earlier this year. I was with him the last 48 hours and this is EXACTLY how it happened. It was such an honor to be with him as he died. I am so grateful to the hospice nurses who prepared me for what to expect and provided comfort by explaining that he wasn't in pain when his breathing changed. The rattled breathing was jarring to listen to, but I was so glad to know that he wasn't in pain.
❤🧡🧡💛💚💚💙💜💜🤎
Your clip showed up on my TH-cam algorithm shortly before my father's death, randomly. It helped quite a bit and prepared us for the end. He went rather peacefully, and I was there at the end. Thank you very much for the knowledge shared.
My mom died in a hospice facility 13 years ago. It took her 30 days to pass. One of my sisters decided to sleep in my mom's room every night at hospice. On day 30, my brother told my sister that she had to go home as she was disrupting the patients at night, screaming. Shortly after my sister left, my mom passed away. I believe that my mom didn't want any of us to actually see her die. None of us were in her room when she passed.
My Mom was the same way...we are a very large family (7 kids) we were all involved with taking care of her at the end...her death seemed to go on and on...finally everyone but myself my daughter (a nurse) and my father stayed with her...we all decided to lie down and get some sleep..around 4:30 in the morning my daughter went in to check on my mom and she was gone..I've been saying this since she passed (in 2014) that she wanted to be alone and not have all of us watching her die....she also had all of the breathing that the Nurse talks about...good info....my father passed away in August of 2020 (AT THE HEIGHT OF COVID) and was in a facility so family could not be with him...they allowed my brother and sister to say their goodbyes and he died about 45 minutes after they left...now my dad probably wanted his family to all be with him....
@@reeniehannan4111 I'm sorry you guys couldn't be with your dad when he passed. I didn't mention this in my original comment, but there are 7 kids in my family too. My dad died in 2002 in the hospital & several of us kids were grateful that neither one of our parents passed during Covid. Not being able to spend time with them (even though they were both in comas) would have been so hard.
Your videos have given me comfort an understanding of this process . I wish I would have seen these 4 years ago when my father passed as we were shocked and crying in fear for him .. I suffered from the trauma and then went into a spiral of depression and alcoholism.. 😢 I am over 3 years sober now ! Good bless you ❤
I would like to send you a virtual hug. I am so very sorry for your loss and for the pain you have suffered. Chin up, my lovely. With love from Christine x
I also wish I had found Nurse Julie's channel before losing my Mom in 2016 from cancer & Dad in 2019 from heart failure! I'm happy to hear you were strong enough to get sober again CONGRATULATIONS!!🎉💪🥳 I on the other hand tried commiting suicide with drugs after Mom passed away & ended up in ICU for 6 days then a psych ward for 3weeks! Tried staying straight for Dad but when he passed I feel like I died with him! Can't wait to be with them again! 🕊️💔
Congratulations on your sobriety!!!
I wished I knew this before I went through my first death process, losing my father and going through it did some trauma to me as well. ❤
@@lifesabitch8012 thoughts with you. Wishing you health and happiness
I watched men die in Viet Nam. I watched my wife die of cancer. She was cognitive almost to the end. She just stopped talking, closed her eyes and quit breathing. At least she was at home with her family where she wanted to be and I got to tell her how much I loved her before she passed. That was over three years ago and I still miss her.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Me and my dad and brother watched my mom die of cancer and a stroke after being in hospice care for a week. It’s so hard to witness a loved one going this way.
2001 I lost my grandmother and was in the room as she left. All of these stages, I did witness. Thank you for your sharing and explanations. And thank you to the family that shared their loss with us.
Not sure i can watch this right now , i saw it in my feed and clicked just to tell you and any hospice worker , you are truly angels amongst men and women , i took care of my grandmother her last two weeks here , and the hospice workers that came the two of them a young man and a older woman not much younger than my grandmother, my grandmother passed of stage four lung cancer , she passed as peacefully as she could at home with me and the help of some other beautiful souls, i woke one morning to do what I normal would do , give her the breathing treatment and give her the morphine , i dont remember exactly the order of things all i know is i went to do the dishes and something told me to check on her and she had stopped breathing, no more gasping , no more pain , i am honored to have taken care of her in her last days , its really hard to write this , I'll watch this soon , but i cant right now , just thank you , thank you from everything i am you and all hospice workers are so truly amazing and im so thankful that my grandmother had people like you around her when she passed over. Thank you!
When I lost my mom 12 yrs ago I still remember the nurses, their kindness and explaining as she was actively failing. I am forever greatful to hospice nurses.
I lost a sister about 5 years ago to cancer. Her nurses were so gentle with her and answered our questions in a calm, matter-of-fact way and encouraged us to gently touch her, talk to her, hold her hand, whatever we thought might bring her comfort. I don't know if she knew we were even there, but it helps to think that maybe she did know.
I sat with my mom as my dad died 6 months ago. I was 51 years old, and had never watched someone die. I guess I assumed they closed their eyes, and slowly and quietly stopped breathing. The process was identical to these videos, with a lot of the moaning sounds and the seemingly struggle to breathe. It was so traumatizing to me that when I think of my dad, the first thing that comes to my mind is the image of his last 3 days in thw hospital. I'm hoping in time when I think of him it will be more pleasant memories. 😢
My brother, sister & I were with Momma when she took her last breath. That sound haunted me for years every time I closed my eyes. I never want to experience that sound again and I've told my kids that I do not want them to witness that with me or their daddy. I admire those of you that have peace from being there when your loved ones passed.
I was with my husband's grandmother when she passed and the weeks leading up to that point and it was a beautiful experience. I was in aww at how different it was.
It will get better. My mom just passed on Oct 7 and for a long time, her last couple of days in hospice were all I could think of when thinking of her. I still do, but not as much. Look at your photos and videos of your dad and of you and other family with him often. I've been doing that and it makes me feel so much better when I feel really down.
@@christenm3200 Momma has been gone 24 years. Unfortunately, I can't say it's gotten better for me yet
@@susiedupree1253 I'm so sorry. Everyone's experiences are so different. I'm not sure if for me, it's because I grew up moderately religious and as a teen/adult, I've found myself very spiritual. I still pray every night and now I add a little bit at the end where I specifically address my mom- tell her that I love her and miss her so much. Then I spend a couple of minutes talking to her like I would when I'd come home from school or during a phone call after work, or whatever. Tell her about things going on and things she wasn't physically present for, special events like how we celebrated a holiday or someone's birthday, or big events like a graduation or a wedding. Sometimes I feel better after, like it was cathartic, and sometimes it depresses me and I cry myself to sleep. Sometimes making the person a special part of a daily routine can help you to feel comforted rather than sad. It's a really delicate balance; I know there are certain cultures that continue to set a place for the person at the dinner table and that comforts some people but that would really depress me. I hope you're able to find peace and comfort where you can.
This is actually my biggest fear regarding the death of my parents, that I will be haunted by the last days of their life and when I remember them it will be as they were in those moments
Thank you Julie. You presented that very well. As a retired professor of emergency medicine, I would occasionally bring in a hospice nurse to explain that very same thing to my medical and nursing students.
This was incredibly nice of the family to allow you to share. Bless them.
This was my experience with my dad who was 82 when he passed.
I've only ever seen one other aunt actively pass; however, the experience was entirely different than this, or my dad. She was fifty-five, and healthy and taken by a rare and freak brain cancer within six months of diagnosis. Her passing was far rockier and by no means this tranquil, sadly. Rest in peace Di.
My mother was on hospice and this is exactly how it was. It hurts to see, but it is accurate. She just seemed asleep, but breaths got shorter and she finally passed. We were all happy as a family to be with her, sad as it was. Thank you
💗💗💗💗💗
I agree, Nurse Julie. People need to see reality. Trust me, active death in hospice care is a lot better than some scenes I covered during my career. Thank you for your ongoing work. God bless.
Thank you ❤️
@@hospicenursejulie
Thank you for your videos. I’m trying to prepare for my son’s Stage 4 cancer demise. He was offered hospice by his oncologist 3 months ago but does not want to admit this is the end. It breaks my heart.
@@CheriDawn❤
@@CheriDawn has he accepted palliative care? I’m not sure how close he is, but the difference (in his particular case, nuanced) is that people can receive palliative care in a number of different scenarios including when the patient has years left or while they’re still being treated with curative intent.
That difference in “definition” may be a good compromise for him, psychologically, and would allow him to receive the benefits of help with his physical pain, spiritual health, and mental health.
I’m not certain if he’d qualify for this on an outpatient basis since he’s already been considered to qualify for hospice. It may be worth asking about anyway, even if the answer is no. You’ll know in your heart that you tried everything you could to support him. 🙏🏼💔
@@ahk1213 Thank you for your reply. He is on palliative care now. His bone cancer spread to his lung 3 1/2 months ago. His oncologist offered him Hospice but he declined. ❤️
I was a hospice nurse. Thank you for putting this video up. I believe it will be a great comfort to people trying to be prepared.
You are an angel. I was by my mother's side during her death. She did the exact same things as this woman. You are showing people important steps. I know everyone is different. However, this is a mirror of my mom's. Thank you.
Hi Kathy, how's your day going with you?
My 100 year old Daddy passed on November 1st. Julie, your videos have helped me more than anything else ever could. All the condolences on earth can't give me a tiny bit of comfort your words have.
GOD BLESS you & all the other hospice care givers out there. Ya'll do a service for the families that no one else could/would do.
100 years, what a great and blessed age.
I feel like the second clip is the perfect example of the body knowing what it's doing. Something that scares the living, but is just the body not needing to breathe so much anymore as it shuts down. Bless this family for sharing this.
I am so thankful to see someone so caring taking care of hospice patients. My parents passed thirty years ago. This video gives me comfort, knowing they weren't alone. Thank you, Julie. ❤ ❤
Thank you so much for helping us to understand what is expected/normal. In the "it's tough enough already" situation, mental preparedness for reality & its comfort is very appreciated.
I can't stress enough how important your videos are. I knew nothing of what was happening when I witnessed my mum's death recently and it frightened me. The hospice nurses told me nothing and I got conflicting feedback on where mum was at. It has been THE most traumatic event I have witnessed and I'm still processing it. That said, I now know mum passed naturally and this video has helped me enormously, thank you.
I am so sorry to hear of that experience for you with your Mum. But I am glad you can have your mind put at ease by watching these educational pieces now ❤
I’m so sorry that the staff did not prepare you properly or respectfully.
When my grandmother passed after a serious stroke almost 5 years ago, I really appreciated how much the staff at her LTC facility (after she was transferred back from the hospital for palliative care) helped us to recognize and track the signs that she was near to death.
It was not easy to witness, but it was reassuring to know that breathing patterns like this were completely normal. She lost the ability to speak after the stroke, and that was tough because we all wanted to be sure we were following her wishes.
The night she passed, me, my sister, my dad, my uncle, and our spouses spent the evening just hanging out with her around her bed, talking and joking with each other. Eventually I had to go home to my little kids, and my sister stayed by her side reading to her until she passed in the middle of the night.
She commented on how her breathing changed again right before she passed, like Julie showed. My sister noticed it and squeezed my grandmother’s hand and told her it was ok to go ❤ I’m so thankful that she had someone beside her right until the end.
This video is so helpful, and really lines up with what we experienced sitting with my grandmother.
Julie, you are a Treasure! As I've posted before, I am a Hospice Care Liaison here in Milwaukee. At least once a day, during my many Hospice Care Family Meetings or Goals of Care conversations with loved ones, I recommend your TH-cam Channel. For those families, sons and daughters, and caregivers still contemplating their options, I know your channel helps bring comfort to those with questions and concerns. Thank You for all you do! -Jeff
Thank you Jeff for all you do
I live in n indiana my ex husband is scared of hospice he thinks it means death. Can u dm some thing to help him w his fear . He has end stage nash liver kidney heart and very confused weak pale and can't rly eat much
I looked after my Mum in her last week of life and watched her take her last breaths and it was the most traumatic thing I've ever been through and will never get over it
I am so grateful for the family who shared these videos and for you who shared them. It helped me prepare myself and our family for the time of my father's loss so that we could be with him at the very end and recognize this.
It seems odd to "like" this video, but this really is incredibly informative.
🥰🥰🥰🥰- thank you 🥰
Wow. When you described the last video as “fish out of water,” I kinda had a transcendental moment. When my father was dying, and I was sitting with him observing his breathing, I wrote a poem called “Poor little fishy.” I have never shared it with anyone because I didn’t think anyone would understand why I would write something like this. But hearing you describe this as “Fish out of water” made me realize I’m not alone in experiencing this. Thank you.
Thank you family and team in showing what we each could expect as we slowly pass away.
My mom passed, in her home, last April at 88 and it was just like the video. Sister in law was a hospice nurse and we were told what to expect. While it may look like suffering, it was peaceful and was exactly what mom would have wanted. Thank you, Julie. Hospice care nurses are angels.
Hi, Julie - my mom died about 6 weeks ago and, after watching you for about a year, I felt brave enough to watch this one (I had to take a break). My grief is awful right now, I just feel so, so empty without my mom. Thank you for working so hard at demystifying the death process.
It will get better. 😊
Sorry for your loss, may God give the strength you need to endure such a loss, hugs to you
'alegna' ---- Find a local Hospice. Mine had an excellent grief counselor. I went about 10 months after my wife passed away. Sessions were difficult, but did help immensely.
My mum died 4 years ago and this was very hard to watch.
Instead of thinking about the good times I always see her in her final moments like in this video.
God bless you❤ Your Mom is happy and serene with God and other family members
First- please let the family know we are very sorry for the loss of their loved one. Thank you for sharing this very intimate natural part of death and dying. We hope it is a comfort to know we share in your grief.
My mum is currently in a nursing home with a terminal lung condition. My wife is a nurse and so has experienced this a lot and while she has told me what to expect, it doesn’t truly prepare you for what it will look like. I’m so glad to have found this video so I am more prepared when the time comes. Thank you.
As a CNA I have been there for a client on Hospice and that is accurate. Thank you for sharing
Man, I wish there was a video like this to watch 10 years ago to prepare me for my mother's death. I thought she was suffering. I was holding her hand and calmly telling her it was okay to let go because I thought she was drowning in her own fluids or something. This takes the PTSD down a notch. Thank you for this.❤
I'm sorry you've had to carry that, I hope now you might find a measure of peace. Your Mother is free, please take care of yourself and let go of that trauma lovey.
I feel you 😢 and so sorry for your loss, pls see my comment
Likewise!
I did the same for my Mum as she passed, whispered in her ear that everything was going to be okay and I was there and it was okay to let go. It's so hard to give them the permission to end their pain and begin our grieving. I had googled end-stages and was prepared for what was going to happen, so I knew when she started to pause her breathing that it was time. I called the nurses and some family to let them know, and then the world stopped for a time as we sat by her while she passed. It was surreal.
I can tell you your Mother felt Fantastic !!! I had a Motorbike Crash and a Stroke years later. It's a better feeling than anything you could ever Imagine. It happened twice to me !!! I stopped breathing both times !!! I am not at all afraid of Dying now I know what it's really like !!!
Oh gosh Miss Julie if I'd only had this prior to my daughter's death from cancer...
I was so traumatized I can't tell you. My first time to see someone die and it was my beloved 33 year old...
Your videos will help me process now.
I wish ALL hospice nurses would educate...
I have been blessed to share the final days, hours, moments with both parents and my mother-in-law. The preparation by the hospice nurses allowed me to know what to expect and to be present in the way each needed. It turned what could have otherwise been traumatic into a thankful memory of being there for my loved ones.
WOW, Iam a CNA for over 30 years and have been with many ppl when they pass away. This video took me back to Nov 27, 2017 when I held my Mother in my arms and watched and heard her take her last breaths. It was like my soul being ripped out of me. I must say that I've always tried to not let my residents or clients, pass away alone. I know I wouldn't and don't want to and hope someone does that for me. These videos are very informative and so very real at the end of life. Books and typed words do not even come close. Thank you for the information and thank you for making me feel what I felt with my Mom. It was like we became 1 and it was just like that moment all over again, so real. 🙏😢🙏
I witnessed this with my Dad a month ago. It is actually traumatizing for me coz his face wasnt relaxed. I pitied him so much. I miss you so much Dad, but I am honored to be with you during your last day on earth. I love you so much!
I'll have to agree with you and I don't believe dying atleast in such ways is not agonizing and an extremely difficult process for the one dying....It's not like they just pass quickly I've been with several of my family members and I could tell its not painless without struggle...I hope I go quickly I'd rather be able to take a drug and pass quickly within 5 minutes or less not laying there for days struggling to stay alive....My grandfather passed this way on my 21st birthday me by his side and thru the 2 week process it was terrible people kept telling me just to him its ok to let go he told me boy are you crazy I wanna live!!!...I'm glad I was next to him and shared the suffering with him.....
@@megclifton6692 Wow.. i think this is exactly how my Dad would have responded if he could still talk during his last few days. He was confined in the hospital twice in a month’s time, first was around 11 days - that’s when he started having difficulty talking to no talking anymore - then second was around 3days and was sent home coz they said it’s about a matter of days or so before he passes… on the day he died, I remember my Mom whispering to him and I knew she said that “It’s ok to let go” and boy I knew if my Dad could still talk and open his eyes, he would have said the same thing that he still wants to live! Coz even after all the pain he was going through, he just kept fighting and even told me and my brother in our language “I will still live long” - that was one month and a half or so before he passed. That was what was also painful to me. That he really didn’t wanna go yet. Even if he knew he was terminally ill. He was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer June 2021 and passed away October 3, 2023. His face was in pain upto the last day 😪
@@megclifton6692 I’m also wishing we could all just pass away peacefully right? Just thinking about how my Dad was makes me cry coz I really pitied him. Doctors didnt even give him anything for pain management.
@@megclifton6692 Seriously man, that looks fucking terrifying. I‘ll rather blast myself with a 9mill than going through that.
Thanks, Julie, for relieving families of uneeded stress that would normally accompany this traumatic experience... you are truly a blessing.
Thank you so much!
I hope it okay to add this. Yes. Thank you.I want to understand these things and have never seen them. Your videos are beautifully done. I think at conception, just like with all living things, there is this magnificent energy that forms the baby, then comes birth, then the great unfolding of growing up, then the energy for decades that coasts along, then wanes and we grow older. Then just like all living things, the energy winds down. We expire and become stardust again. So to me, this precious woman is winding down to become stardust again, and this is the last part of that. Thank you for helping me understand that.
@@velvetbees I love your words. I feel the same, but you expressed it so well.
@@ingriddoerksen9518 Thank you. 😊🌺🦋
My father died in hospice. You nurses are worth your weight in gold. They explained the process so we knew what to expect and was not shocked or panicked. It was peaceful. Thank you for what you do. By the way, morphine is a dying persons best friend.
First, I would like to thank you for your educational videos. I have been watching them for about a year and a half before my wife passed in early January. Your videos helped prepare me somewhat for the clinical aspect of her passing. Second, I saw everything this video showed. While the emotional toll on losing my spouse has been great, without your work, it could have been worse. Thank you for what you do.
When my Dad passed from leukemia at the age of 80, I remember seeing his feet flex as he took those last breaths.
I knew he was not in pain or fear because he was sedated, but I am glad to now know that he wouldn't have been anyway.
Being 74 myself, your videos are preparing me for the inevitable. I have never feared being dead, just the means of getting there. Other than death by trauma, it is good to realize it is a natural process that we go through, and is not as painful as we might think.
Thank you.
How old were you when your father passed way
@@tpfmike1976 I was 43.
Julie, I am a retired nurse of 30 years. I did attend thousands of deaths...it was a privilege to be a hospice nurse and review so many lives.Every person has a story.
I found you videos while helping my wife care for her mom as this process was happening. I almost put the phone down before thank goodness coming across your accurate and realistic real life description of the process. We are no strangers to elder care as we've been doing it for years but not much can prepare you for the end . I hope others find this video as I'm sure it'll answer most questions of what's happening and put minds at ease.
Thank you.
I have sat with people that were very close to me in hospice and held their hand when they passed. The people that worked there I cannot thank enough. Truly amazing and compassionate people. ❤
Never in a million years would I have ever thought I’d be interested in hospice as a nurse, but I can say that it quickly grew on me and it is such a honor to care for someone who is terminally ill.
Thank you, Bri....❤.
My daughter is an RN in hospice care and absolutely loves it. unfortunately, younger nurses all want to work in delivery. The true heroes are the nurses that are there at the end when people are experiencing the hardest step in life and quite often they are going through it alone.
I’m a RN and my significant other passed away 5 months ago unexpectedly. He went into cardiac arrest and was intubated.When they let me see him he was having agonal breathing. I asked them to let him pass on. Being a nurse I knew he wasn’t going to survive.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
@@ijustrealllylikecats Thank you. I truly appreciate it. 🕊️❤️🩹
I'm sorry for your unexpected loss.
So sorry for your loss...that was a very kind and selfless decision to make, and I'm sure it was a very difficult one.
@@snowygirl131 Thank you so much. He felt ill and started losing weight…gone in 2 weeks.
❤️🩹🕊️
My mother passed away at 55 a few years back in hospice, and it was not a particularly nice experience to see. Her breathing sounded almost exactly like the video at 1:25 for probably 24 hours. I was determined to stay with her until the end with my Dad, but I just couldn't listen to it. When I finally said to my Dad that I think I had to go because I was finding it hard, he told me she wouldn't want me to be watching something that was difficult, and then 30 minutes after I left she was gone. I feel like she may have been waiting for me to go.
Thank you so much to not only you but your followers/fans for the education and visuals. My grandfather whom I’m very close to is approaching the final stages in the death cycle. It’s been quite a ride, but this truly has helped me prepare and my hope is that with your videos I can really embrace and enjoy this one last journey with him.
...... such a beautiful, insightful way to see your Grandfather to the end, by entering his hours as the journey progressed, He knew you Loved Him, yes... 🌿🕊⚘..... x&o.
I cried watching this. My heart is heavy with so much pain and guilt. I wish I saw this video before my dad passed. It would have changed everything we did the last few hrs of being with him. He did exactly what was shown on this video. Mom and I didn't know he was "actively dying". We would have been holding him in our arms until he passed instead of us sitting in the corner praying and waiting for him to wake up. I thought he was in pain and I didn't want to see him suffer. I wish someone in the hospital prepared us. Thank you for your educational videos.
I think your father would want you to know that nothing you did was wrong. You were scared and no one told you what to expect. I lost my beautiful maternal grandmother at the rehabilitation place. My uncle called us and said that after they had left for the night she passed. They called him to let him know. When my sister asked me if we should go up to see her, she had fallen and broken her hip. They repaired it and sent her to the rehab place where she died peacefully (they said). I still have guilt and remorse for not going up to visit, but I had a dream once that I was looking at a painting of her when she was in her 30s, and her arms came out of the picture to hug me. When we visited her at the funeral home, she looked like she was sleeping. That was the first time I ever felt like "I wanted to crawl in the coffin with her" feeling. I laid my head on her chest and told her how much I loved her and that I was sorry for not being there when she passed. Whenever I find a dime in a strange place I know it is her telling me that she loves me. I mean I have found dimes in pretty strange places believe me. Like on a kitchen counter after I have cleaned like a maniac and could swear there was nothing there, then I look down, and there is a shiny dime. There were times in the car when I would go out there and cry and I would feel something under my rear, get up, and there was a dime! So many places, so many times. I was the love of her life Grandchild. #1, We had so much in common most of all our reading. She even came to the hospital when I was coming clean and sober, went to all the AA meetings with me, etc... Even when she was mad at me, I always knew I was loved. My mom on the other hand has forgotten what it means to have a beloved child. Now that I have a daughter of my own, I know what unconditional love is, and I don't get that from my mom. I try to understand but I don't. She is a bitter person who will end up dying with no one who loves her near. I can't do anything to change those dynamics. I forgive her but don't want to be around her as her every word is a criticism. Oh well, such is life I guess. I like these videos because she normalizes things instead of us being scared of death. Thank you nurse Julie.
You did what you thought was the best… your daddy knows that
@@ericksaavedra8613 Thank you erick. Your post response came right on the day I really needed to hear it :)
@@kathleenkenyon1583 thank you very much for sharing the lovely story with your grandmother. I got in so deep and lost reading your post and felt like I watched a movie of your life. I saw your journey. I read it numerous times. The love you shared with your grandmother echoed thru beautifully with your words. Sadly your mother and daughter missed a great opportunity of joy in having a close relationship with you. We must accept cruel destiny sometimes, such is life. I applaud your strength in staying sober. I have a similar background. 17 years sober and clean here. Also, I am familiar with the story of dimes, many of my friends had this happen too with them - I told my dad in prayers to make it a hundred bill if he wants to let me know he is around lol. I wish you a healthy, abundant and fantastic year ahead friend!
The best gift you gave him was to pray for him
I’m super glad the family shared the video, as I am you have too. This makes me less scared of death. The lovely lady looked very at peace, and I’d like to leave this earth without pain. Rest in peace to the family and the woman in this video ❤😊
Holy moly! What a great channel. Thanks for showing us the afterlife is a wonderful thing for the transitioning. Thank you very much for this educational video. This is truly truly truly a remarkable series. I can’t wait to watch your other videos.
Just lost my Mom 2 weeks ago from her battle with Alzheimer's dementia. Last week was her funeral. And I can confirm this video is accurate. This is exactly what it looks like. She was 78.
I was with my dad and with my sister when they were dying and I remember hearing these sounds. They both passed within 10- 8 hours of going through these sounds. I feel asleep at the very end and woke up to them peacefully still and not breathing and as a result I missed the agonil breathing at the very end. Thank you to the family that shared this 🙏🏼
My mother died because of misdiagnosed cervical cancer. She was a large lady and the cancer left her weighing no more than a young child. I was with her at the end and these clips bring it all back so vividly. RIP Mom.❤
This reminds me of a family member who died. She was not that old but during the last couple of months she drastically went down in weight. Her skin felt papery which i had only felt previously on a neighbor who was easily 40 to 50 years older.
That memory of her came back to me recently when another family member from same household got deathly sick. She seems to be healing, but required really risky surgery and became even thinner than the family member who died. Even her voice was drastically different. Very quite, horsed, and as if she somehow smoked 50 years of cigars in a couple of months. I first thought she was operated on her throat, but is “just” a side effect of her surgery.
I also lost my mother to cervical cancer. She was diagnosed too late and had lost a lot of weight. I was 7 years old when I stood there next to her bed in hospice. I wish you and your family well.
The cancer killed her sorry to say..a misdiagnosis is that but cervical cancer would have beat most things they would have tried
Mine Also died because of a misdiagnosed colon cancer. I don't think these videos Make the pain any better.
@@carle5538 So true. It's like they make those awful times anew.
My Mum passed peacefully a few years ago, it was difficult in the early stages when she recognised that her mental faculties were deteriorating which hurt her so much. Always a vital person dedicated to helping others, a Nurse since her teens then retrained to work as an Interpreter until retirement. The most difficult part for her was losing her independence. Her decline was too much for us to deal with and she entered a Hospice with some of the most caring loving people I have ever seen.
She is in a better place now and suffers no more !!!!
Excellent video, hopefully this helps family members of sufferers.
This is what happened to my mother, I witnessed this live for more than 24 hours non-stop before the end came. It was definitely a maturing milestone in one's life, watching it on a video does not fully convey the entire range of sensations and feelings overwhelming one's mind in these cases. This is something for what no one can get prepared in advance, one just tries to face it as best as possible while trying not to collapse due to emotional overcharge.
I wish I could have seen this before my mother passed it would’ve been so much less traumatic for my father and myself ❤ you are amazing Ty for your videos ❤
The fact this video has 500k views actually breaks my heart 😢 I felt so alone when I was taking care of my loved ones and never even thought to look online for support. It felt as if I was the only one who was going through something so awful.. and there are thousands of us. A lot probably feeling as I did.
I want to THANK YOU KINDLY for this video. Not many people know about all of this & I believe the world should have this knowledge. I had to find out the hard way,on my own, when I was 22 & was alone with my grandpa in the hospital😢I knew what was going on so I just held his hand & sang hymns to him cause that's what he loved:me, holding my hand & hymns.
RIP grandpa&granny🥀
Thanks again,God Bless
Thank you, so much for your clear, concise explanations. As a Clergyman, I've stood at the bedside of many and offered calming explanations of what a loved one is seeing. Your clinical explanations have gone a long way in providing information that Many Clergy do NOT get in seminary!
I've got generalized anxiety disorder, and much as I try to believe and accept what you're teaching us in this video, I can't help but feel panicky about witnessing what my mind is processing as discomfort and pain.😔
Same here. While being said it is normal process and no pain, it still looks a torture to go through.
I agree the clips were not meant to disturb, but in my mind how the does anyone know what the patient is going through just because it happens all the time does not me there is no suffering and in my opinion if you are that weak you could not raise much of a fight to say or prove you are in pain, I find this very disturbing and only creating fear and if euthanasia was allowed it would be far better to be put to sleep with a needle just in case.
@@timoshea1767exactly normal doesn't mean there were no pain we in our religion believe that there will be different death different angels for bad people and good people the bad people will have painful death so I don't know, do you guys also believe in this?
ICU RN here. Don’t panic - this woman was relaxed and not struggling. A painful death looks very different.
@amirhamza7610 I think death is a neutral force in the world that has no bearing on morality of the dying. It wouldn't make sense because it's subjective and death isn't subjective
I remember when the hospice nurse told our family my mother was actively dying. It truly rocked me to my core. But I love hospice because they were so compassionate and kind during the end of life process ❤️
Yep, I had the old optimistic denial trope when the nurse said my dad maybe 2 weeks left to live. Sure enough he got home on the 26th of June they put him on hospice and he went on the 11th of July, they’re not wrong, I was just trying to accept and cope with the inevitable.
My dad passed in 2015 and I too needed information like this. Thank you to the family who shared this private moment to help us through this difficult period. I was shaving my dad as he passed so that moment is burned into my memory with love. Up to the point of watching this video, I believed my shaving skills were hurting him. Now I understand his facial expressions were a manifestation of actively dying.
Thank you, Julie!
Thank you to the people who offered their videos to share.