I love this video. I'm 31, married for 3 years and people are genuinely shocked when we say we don't want kids. I never wanted them but I went through stages trying to convince myself of it but kept coming to the same conclusion of I don't like them or want them for many of the same reasons as you. 'You'll change your mind one day' or some variation of that is what I hear from about 90% of people. It infuriates me that we are expected to have kids from most of society and people are so vocal of their opinions of peoples own personal choices.
I'm glad it resonates and I offered some validation that you're not alone! It's wild that there is such a focus on it, that your mind, the mind of someone that doesn't want them, is starting to say 'welllll maybe we just SHOULD anyway' 😂 The messages of the world sometimes find their way into your psyche!! Keep enjoying your husband and all of the things you are able to do with your higher level of freedom!
Hi everyone! Thanks for watching my little mini series even if is a bit off-the-topic of my usual channel vibes. However I love pondering and creating videos, it keeps me out of trouble, and it's interesting to create a discourse around important subjects, I love hearing from you all. X
Thank you! And where I am right now is stalking/living vicariously through you from this out-of-control Coronavirus island that the rest of the world is slowly banning travel to and from 😂 ahhhh good old blighty.
Arggg you just made me realise I missed a point - having children is the biggest carbon footprint you can leave on the planet BY FAR, plus the potential subsequent generations that follow them. Why do I now wish I lived in the dystopian future? Haha
i dont have kids and i agree with everything you said. all the same things i have been thinking about. my mom says, if she was young today, she would not have children either.
You are my inspiration! Long distance hiking is pretty much my sole purpose atm and I have walks planned for post-covid. Having turned 30 Im trying to come up with more creative comebacks at people asking me when Im having children. 👀
I like those glasses, you make them look really good. It is your life, do what makes you happy. It is a lot of work to raise a child. We gave up on having children after 14 years married. A little while later Martha found out she was pregnant. At 41 it was difficult and dangerous but, she wanted children(she was a NICU nurse). It was a big change in life and was very hard. I'd come home from work and take over as Daddy while Martha took a couple hour break. He grew up to be a good young man. It was hard for me when we climbed Mt Washington, He was 16 and I was 58. I couldn't keep up. I became a Dad as part of my identity. Since Martha died we support each other and life goes on. We have seen several other times where the kids grew up to be horrible. It is a gamble. You have carefully thought this through. Relax, you never know what lies ahead. BTW, people who decide that your personal choices are attacks on them, have mental problems and should be avoided. I thought of your last topic yesterday as I was shovelling snow. Snow shovelling is mindless repetition so my mind wanders. Have you considered finding a park ranger type job? If I've suggested this before, I claim senior moment. I hope that you have a great day. Good Luck, Rick
Thanks Rick! I think they're actually a bit too big for the bridge of my nose but I reason with that by saying I'm sure it looks all endearing and Rachel Weisz of me to keep having to push them back up again 🤣 There's something poetic in your life story though. It doesn't sound like something you just did for the hell of it, having children, or maybe that's just because you come across as so thoughtful in the things you write that i can't imagine you doing something without consideration. I'm so sorry to hear about you losing Martha, that hurt my heart, but to hear you hiking with your son and sharing something you love is really beautiful. That made me laugh about the mental problems and should be avoided people haha. I agree, but people can be so defensive! That's a good point about Park Ranger, I'd have to look into that in the UK as I'm not entirely sure if we have a version of that here! We definitely don't have a smokey bear uniform, which is a crying shame.
@@appalachiangirluk9960 Martha getting pregnant was a total surprise to us. She only had a slim chance of being able to get pregnant. So, after turning 41 we figured there was no chance. There is an old saying: if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. If you get back to the AT, I'll try to do trail magic for you in CT and tell you the long but humorous story of how we met and got engaged. When you got sick on the AT, I was very concerned that it was a tick disease because that's what killed Martha the year before. Each year I warn hikers about the ticks but still many get sick. I am looking forward to the next video. Good Luck, Rick
Wow, thanks for this video! Very entertaining and some great points uniquely expressed. I'm childfree by choice too, I think, age 31 F living in Melbourne, Australia. I say "I think" because I'm at the age where basically everyone is telling me I'm defective and it's making me question myself. I strongly doubt that being a parent really makes you a more selfless person. Well it does, but toward the child only. I think it actually makes you far more selfish to the rest of society. This was demonstrated to me a couple of years ago when I saw Taylor Swift tour (lol) and when she came over to our side of a the stadium all the parents picked up their children (who wouldn't have been born when I first became a fan) and put them on their shoulders so they could get as close as possible to Taylor. I couldn't see a thing, I was livid.
Oh gosh yeah I know the 'defective' rhetoric, but luckily not too well. My mum isn't at all fussed about me having a child luckily but I started to feel like 'should I be?' at around 24-27 because other people were. I think other people try to pressure you into it because they like to bring others into the misery gang haha, they can't stand to see your freedoms in comparison to their lack of. Misery likes to try and attract misery. And don't lol ashamedly about Taylor, this is a safe pro-Taylor space 🤣 but that is so infuriating and unfair of them to do that. Surely it should be a teaching opportunity for the children that they can't push and shove their way to something and should be respectful of other people?
I’m really enjoying your vlogs they do make me smile 😀 . I’m a father of two 6&7 they are amazing but I totally understand why you wouldn’t want kids . It’s your life , live it how you want 😀 keep vlogging
Hi..Enjoy your videos and honestly and just saying what you are thinking..I personally would not have kids nowadays with the way the world is...I did the WHW in august and loved it..First time hiking and i cant wait for this pandemic to be over to do more...Follow your heart and dont do what other people think you should do....Enjoy your life...x
Thank you! I'm glad I'm mildly interesting and I appreciate your feedback. Ahhh once you get the bug it is addictive. I loved The West Highland Way, I'm thinking of getting back up to the Highlands in March to get another hike in ASAP. I want to hike the Tour Du Mont Blanc and the Haute Route back to back in June/July, but I can't wait until then!!
I’m watching these and wishing we were pals, we have the same opinion on both of your topics so far 😂 if you ever find yourself in London, please let’s meet for a cuppa and have a chat, it would be hilarious 😂
@@appalachiangirluk9960 yes 😂 I’m near central, just by Brick Lane? Not the best spot for people who like being outdoors but good commuting options for when we are allowed to go out 🙄
Wowww, lovely! Check you, girl! Doing it in Central London, that job must be at least giving you some dividends even if it isn't forever and you're dreaming of other things. If I'm down that way in a post-tier world we'll definitely have to meet up. If you ever have any questions about the AT let me know, though if you've watched my vids you will see that I wasn't the luckiest hiker ever and got taken TF out halfway haha x
Hey hun, I like you, thanks for being so honest in this video and the last one about ambition. You, sound so like me in a female form. Do you think you might be a multipotentialite ? Please please, please, have a kid, at least one, YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT. I did not want kids for those exact same reasons. My son brought so much joy and happiness to me my whole family, the local library, neighbours, canal walkers, the nursery, the school, he is great in school plays. He makes me proud. Yes your life will change, it is all about them, but, my son will be 10 next year and I am already making plans for me again. Take care
Glad you like the vids! I'm trying and it keeps me entertained at least 😂 What an interesting word, I'd never heard of it before! It's an avenue of thinking and articles and posts and perspectives I'll no doubt go down for a few hours now haha. Thanks!
I guess one take on this is that you don’t really have children. You have children for 18 years but the whole rest of your life you have adult family and that’s where the real value is. My parents didn’t really enjoy having children, but I can see that they love having me and my sister in their lives now.
Yes you are stuck with a kid once you have it. For like 20 years. On the other hand you have a few years left until you will be stuck with NOT having kids for like 50 years.
@@appalachiangirluk9960 The year I thru hiked the AT there was a girl with a cat. I heard the cat was popular for killing shelter mice though I certainly didn't see them going up Kathadin. Oh well, memories.
The concept of having children so that you won't "die alone" is more than a bit warped. As you pointed out, there's no guarantee that your children will be able to support emotionally you in your old age - they could be terrible people (or you might just not get on) or they could die young or end up in prison. Even if your children were to become wonderful people, creating a human being for the purpose of them serving you in your old age is egocentric and pretty crazy. In the bigger picture, thinking about the health of the planet, in my opinion, it's irresponsible to have children unless you absolutely want them, can properly care for them, and plan to raise them to be conscientious adults. I really don't understand all those people who are begging you to have children. I wonder if they have the same attitude about their other likes/dislikes - that their preferences are the only "right" ones. Just because it's something that they enjoy, it's not necessarily for everyone. I'm sure you've experienced situations where someone told you about the most fantastic movie or TV show they've seen, and when you watched it, it was "meh". For myself, I, like you, was never that interested in having children, and I ended up not having any. I have nieces/nephews and children of friends that I enjoy spending time with, but am happy to send them back to their parents at the end of the day. I'll be retiring next year, and then I'll have complete freedom to do anything I choose. If I had children, I wouldn't be able to retire so early, as I would need to continue to support them. Having children is a huge responsibility and shouldn't be undertaken lightly, and whether or not you ever have children, I applaud you for giving it so much thought rather than the knee-jerk response of "of course I'll have kids".
I really enjoyed reading this thoughtful response!! Full of great points, especially the movie comparison and you're so right-on with that - why isn't it seen as a preference in the same way as other things? Plus, walking around the world and meeting people in an everyday friendship, work, romantic capacity: There are a LOT of psychologically and emotionally dysfunctional people out there and it makes me wonder how many were born to parents who just had them as a 'life step' without fulfilling their emotional needs and psychological development. It's so much more than just feeding and clothing a small person until they aren't small any more.
If so many people are now choosing child-free life, then how can we support pensions in future? Every women should have mandatory duty to produce at least one kid.
The world population has increased by around 2.6 billion since 1988, as of 2019 a quarter of that population was under 14, I think your concern is misplaced.
Is it fair of me to say the following? If you don't feel you want children you probably shouldn't have them, and in the end your whole video is about you not feeling you want children. If you felt you wanted them, your objections about it all would be far less prominent, if you had them at all.
![กี่หมื่นฟ้า | Your Sky Series EP.1 [2/4]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/qJbQs_nhjD4/mqdefault.jpg)
I love this video. I'm 31, married for 3 years and people are genuinely shocked when we say we don't want kids. I never wanted them but I went through stages trying to convince myself of it but kept coming to the same conclusion of I don't like them or want them for many of the same reasons as you. 'You'll change your mind one day' or some variation of that is what I hear from about 90% of people. It infuriates me that we are expected to have kids from most of society and people are so vocal of their opinions of peoples own personal choices.
I'm glad it resonates and I offered some validation that you're not alone! It's wild that there is such a focus on it, that your mind, the mind of someone that doesn't want them, is starting to say 'welllll maybe we just SHOULD anyway' 😂 The messages of the world sometimes find their way into your psyche!!
Keep enjoying your husband and all of the things you are able to do with your higher level of freedom!
Hi everyone! Thanks for watching my little mini series even if is a bit off-the-topic of my usual channel vibes. However I love pondering and creating videos, it keeps me out of trouble, and it's interesting to create a discourse around important subjects, I love hearing from you all. X
Your videos never disappoint!!! Love that you are living life on your terms. You are right where you are supposed to be my friend!
Thank you! And where I am right now is stalking/living vicariously through you from this out-of-control Coronavirus island that the rest of the world is slowly banning travel to and from 😂 ahhhh good old blighty.
Other people's children are the best as you just return them when your head gets burst 👀👍🏴
In our dystopian future, it will be considered selfish and unpopular to have children. You're way ahead of the curve.
Arggg you just made me realise I missed a point - having children is the biggest carbon footprint you can leave on the planet BY FAR, plus the potential subsequent generations that follow them. Why do I now wish I lived in the dystopian future? Haha
i dont have kids and i agree with everything you said. all the same things i have been thinking about.
my mom says, if she was young today, she would not have children either.
You are my inspiration! Long distance hiking is pretty much my sole purpose atm and I have walks planned for post-covid. Having turned 30 Im trying to come up with more creative comebacks at people asking me when Im having children. 👀
Aww thanks Claire you made my day! Do you have any particular trails in mind, out of interest?
I like those glasses, you make them look really good. It is your life, do what makes you happy. It is a lot of work to raise a child. We gave up on having children after 14 years married. A little while later Martha found out she was pregnant. At 41 it was difficult and dangerous but, she wanted children(she was a NICU nurse). It was a big change in life and was very hard. I'd come home from work and take over as Daddy while Martha took a couple hour break. He grew up to be a good young man. It was hard for me when we climbed Mt Washington, He was 16 and I was 58. I couldn't keep up. I became a Dad as part of my identity. Since Martha died we support each other and life goes on. We have seen several other times where the kids grew up to be horrible. It is a gamble.
You have carefully thought this through. Relax, you never know what lies ahead. BTW, people who decide that your personal choices are attacks on them, have mental problems and should be avoided.
I thought of your last topic yesterday as I was shovelling snow. Snow shovelling is mindless repetition so my mind wanders. Have you considered finding a park ranger type job? If I've suggested this before, I claim senior moment. I hope that you have a great day. Good Luck, Rick
Thanks Rick! I think they're actually a bit too big for the bridge of my nose but I reason with that by saying I'm sure it looks all endearing and Rachel Weisz of me to keep having to push them back up again 🤣
There's something poetic in your life story though. It doesn't sound like something you just did for the hell of it, having children, or maybe that's just because you come across as so thoughtful in the things you write that i can't imagine you doing something without consideration. I'm so sorry to hear about you losing Martha, that hurt my heart, but to hear you hiking with your son and sharing something you love is really beautiful.
That made me laugh about the mental problems and should be avoided people haha. I agree, but people can be so defensive!
That's a good point about Park Ranger, I'd have to look into that in the UK as I'm not entirely sure if we have a version of that here! We definitely don't have a smokey bear uniform, which is a crying shame.
@@appalachiangirluk9960 Martha getting pregnant was a total surprise to us. She only had a slim chance of being able to get pregnant. So, after turning 41 we figured there was no chance. There is an old saying: if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. If you get back to the AT, I'll try to do trail magic for you in CT and tell you the long but humorous story of how we met and got engaged.
When you got sick on the AT, I was very concerned that it was a tick disease because that's what killed Martha the year before. Each year I warn hikers about the ticks but still many get sick.
I am looking forward to the next video. Good Luck, Rick
i appreciate dry and monotonous.
Wow, thanks for this video! Very entertaining and some great points uniquely expressed. I'm childfree by choice too, I think, age 31 F living in Melbourne, Australia. I say "I think" because I'm at the age where basically everyone is telling me I'm defective and it's making me question myself.
I strongly doubt that being a parent really makes you a more selfless person. Well it does, but toward the child only. I think it actually makes you far more selfish to the rest of society. This was demonstrated to me a couple of years ago when I saw Taylor Swift tour (lol) and when she came over to our side of a the stadium all the parents picked up their children (who wouldn't have been born when I first became a fan) and put them on their shoulders so they could get as close as possible to Taylor. I couldn't see a thing, I was livid.
Oh gosh yeah I know the 'defective' rhetoric, but luckily not too well. My mum isn't at all fussed about me having a child luckily but I started to feel like 'should I be?' at around 24-27 because other people were. I think other people try to pressure you into it because they like to bring others into the misery gang haha, they can't stand to see your freedoms in comparison to their lack of. Misery likes to try and attract misery.
And don't lol ashamedly about Taylor, this is a safe pro-Taylor space 🤣 but that is so infuriating and unfair of them to do that. Surely it should be a teaching opportunity for the children that they can't push and shove their way to something and should be respectful of other people?
I’m really enjoying your vlogs they do make me smile 😀 . I’m a father of two 6&7 they are amazing but I totally understand why you wouldn’t want kids . It’s your life , live it how you want 😀 keep vlogging
I'm glad to crack a smile here and there! Merry Christmas 🎅 🎄
Merry Xmas . Hope Santa brings you some hiking gear 🎅😊x
Hi..Enjoy your videos and honestly and just saying what you are thinking..I personally would not have kids nowadays with the way the world is...I did the WHW in august and loved it..First time hiking and i cant wait for this pandemic to be over to do more...Follow your heart and dont do what other people think you should do....Enjoy your life...x
Thank you! I'm glad I'm mildly interesting and I appreciate your feedback. Ahhh once you get the bug it is addictive. I loved The West Highland Way, I'm thinking of getting back up to the Highlands in March to get another hike in ASAP. I want to hike the Tour Du Mont Blanc and the Haute Route back to back in June/July, but I can't wait until then!!
I’m watching these and wishing we were pals, we have the same opinion on both of your topics so far 😂 if you ever find yourself in London, please let’s meet for a cuppa and have a chat, it would be hilarious 😂
Okay I am so up for this. Are you also dry and monotonous 😂? What area of London (generally) are you in out of pure interest?
@@appalachiangirluk9960 yes 😂 I’m near central, just by Brick Lane? Not the best spot for people who like being outdoors but good commuting options for when we are allowed to go out 🙄
Wowww, lovely! Check you, girl! Doing it in Central London, that job must be at least giving you some dividends even if it isn't forever and you're dreaming of other things. If I'm down that way in a post-tier world we'll definitely have to meet up. If you ever have any questions about the AT let me know, though if you've watched my vids you will see that I wasn't the luckiest hiker ever and got taken TF out halfway haha x
Hey hun, I like you, thanks for being so honest in this video and the last one about ambition.
You, sound so like me in a female form. Do you think you might be a multipotentialite ?
Please please, please, have a kid, at least one, YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT. I did not want kids for those exact same reasons. My son brought so much joy and happiness to me my whole family, the local library, neighbours, canal walkers, the nursery, the school, he is great in school plays. He makes me proud.
Yes your life will change, it is all about them, but, my son will be 10 next year and I am already making plans for me again.
Take care
Glad you like the vids! I'm trying and it keeps me entertained at least 😂 What an interesting word, I'd never heard of it before! It's an avenue of thinking and articles and posts and perspectives I'll no doubt go down for a few hours now haha. Thanks!
I guess one take on this is that you don’t really have children. You have children for 18 years but the whole rest of your life you have adult family and that’s where the real value is. My parents didn’t really enjoy having children, but I can see that they love having me and my sister in their lives now.
BINGO
The level of concise I aspire to be
Yes you are stuck with a kid once you have it. For like 20 years. On the other hand you have a few years left until you will be stuck with NOT having kids for like 50 years.
That sounds like bliss 🤣
@@appalachiangirluk9960 More money for cat food. ;-)
@@wio2189 Don't have Cats, I'm away adventuring too much!
@@appalachiangirluk9960 The year I thru hiked the AT there was a girl with a cat. I heard the cat was popular for killing shelter mice though I certainly didn't see them going up Kathadin. Oh well, memories.
The concept of having children so that you won't "die alone" is more than a bit warped. As you pointed out, there's no guarantee that your children will be able to support emotionally you in your old age - they could be terrible people (or you might just not get on) or they could die young or end up in prison. Even if your children were to become wonderful people, creating a human being for the purpose of them serving you in your old age is egocentric and pretty crazy.
In the bigger picture, thinking about the health of the planet, in my opinion, it's irresponsible to have children unless you absolutely want them, can properly care for them, and plan to raise them to be conscientious adults.
I really don't understand all those people who are begging you to have children. I wonder if they have the same attitude about their other likes/dislikes - that their preferences are the only "right" ones. Just because it's something that they enjoy, it's not necessarily for everyone. I'm sure you've experienced situations where someone told you about the most fantastic movie or TV show they've seen, and when you watched it, it was "meh".
For myself, I, like you, was never that interested in having children, and I ended up not having any. I have nieces/nephews and children of friends that I enjoy spending time with, but am happy to send them back to their parents at the end of the day. I'll be retiring next year, and then I'll have complete freedom to do anything I choose. If I had children, I wouldn't be able to retire so early, as I would need to continue to support them. Having children is a huge responsibility and shouldn't be undertaken lightly, and whether or not you ever have children, I applaud you for giving it so much thought rather than the knee-jerk response of "of course I'll have kids".
I really enjoyed reading this thoughtful response!! Full of great points, especially the movie comparison and you're so right-on with that - why isn't it seen as a preference in the same way as other things?
Plus, walking around the world and meeting people in an everyday friendship, work, romantic capacity: There are a LOT of psychologically and emotionally dysfunctional people out there and it makes me wonder how many were born to parents who just had them as a 'life step' without fulfilling their emotional needs and psychological development. It's so much more than just feeding and clothing a small person until they aren't small any more.
If so many people are now choosing child-free life, then how can we support pensions in future? Every women should have mandatory duty to produce at least one kid.
The world population has increased by around 2.6 billion since 1988, as of 2019 a quarter of that population was under 14, I think your concern is misplaced.
Is it fair of me to say the following? If you don't feel you want children you probably shouldn't have them, and in the end your whole video is about you not feeling you want children. If you felt you wanted them, your objections about it all would be far less prominent, if you had them at all.