I can't explain why this particular story was so powerful to me. I think in part, is because my father recently asked me if I was gay...and I lied to him and said, "no". To remember that others died in that night club with their families never truly knowing who they really were is making me feel convicted. I want to work on stop asking for other's permission to be accepted, and just live. Because we're not granted forever.
Mr. Burton I came out to my family 35 yrs ago now....If there was 1 thing that I would suggest that you quintuple-check yourself about, it is the following: Do it for yourself 1st! NOT for them 1st. My particular experience reflects the trauma of having 2 fundamentalist christian siblings who have basically tortured me in a wide variety of mind games for decades now. So if/when you decide to come out, I trust that it will be a well-balanced decision for your particular context & that you are truly prepared for how they might respond. BEST WISHES!
coldflame your siblings suck. They are obviously lacking in life if they feel the need to wage psychological warfare on a family member. I can't help but think that arsholes will always find a way to legitimize their arsholery - basically your orientation made a target upon which to focus. And using religion as ammo is a mark of an inferior mind. F*ck them. I'm straight, but I have the right to be who I am & love whomever I chose (of consenting age, of course.) You deserve no less than that. Many blessings ❤
Theatre J Yes it is pathetic. Some things make it even worse. Our parents & extended family do not deserve it. The b&w thinking of fundy XXX-ianity infiltrated our family thru the oldest sibling & yes, ended up focusing on me in it's demonizing convictions (They're proud of their abusings, yet 'humble'). ...They are highly 'educated' people. Education coupled w/little insight or wisdom, I tend to describe it as.
Maybe giving *yourself* permission to just live might be the priority. My counselor keeps telling me that if I wouldn't treat someone I love the way I'm treating myself, then I deserve to treat myself better. Perhaps giving yourself the permission you've been seeking from others is the way to break free from the pattern? I wish you the best, De'Andre.
I don’t know what to tell you, im way older and came out years ago in a very different situation than yours. All I know is, I agree with that last statement, we’re not granted forever. The future is a promise, not a guarantee. I can’t tell you how to stop asking permission and just live. I’m hoping you figure it out somehow. All I can tell you is it’s your biggest priority right now. Later in life, you’ll realize how quick time goes. You can figure out the other stuff later.
AlecKetchupdude Its to show that we stand together, we will not be scared into hiding and to march for gun control. It's not to make me feel better. To take a stand for what I support and believe in.
I just want to say I couldn't imagine my life without my LGBTQ companions. I pray for the day when people get over being hung up on such variations. We all have more in common than we know!
This was incredible. Just beautifully told, heartwrenching. Coming out was surprisingly hard for me and eventually I was outed by someone I wrongfully trusted. Everything turned out okay, thank God, but I can't imagine how much worse it could have been if I didn't have accepting family. Quick psa: never out anyone no matter what. You never know their situation and if you are putting them in danger
I've watched this thing several times now. It still hits me. Because Chris is obviously a young man who didn't want to tell his Dad - I can relate - who nevertheless told him because of the terrible circumstance of what happened in Orlando.
I can relate to this completely -- I nervously changed my tinder preferences and came out etc. after the Pulse shooting and also the documentary Bridegroom which showed that true love between men does exist. Respect. Thanks for sharing.
I can relate. After the pulse shooting I partially came out. I realized that I couldn't keep lying to myself and everyone around me. I could only thing about the people that had died with the secret. So I pick up my phone and texted my best friend. That was the first time I said gay out loud. A weight had been lifted of my shoulders and I started living my life. Pulse's victims didn't lose their lifes in vain. Their stories changed lifes all across the world. Although their lifes ended so brutally they gave an entire new generation the strength to come out and fight for change.
Damn this gets to me, because im struggling to tell my friends and family that im bisexual... i think they would all be pretty much totally fine with it, but i think im just scared, that they will suddenly somehow see me with different eyes... and i dont have the guts to just say that out loud to people i have known all my life :/ especially because i have only had boyfriends so far so they are probably pretty sure that im just straight.... any advice on how to overcome that anxiety of telling them?
There is no easy way to do it. I am also bi and I struggled for years to tell people. I started first with my friends, then I told my parents. Don't worry about making a grand speech, just speak from your heart
TimarisFun come out when you're ready. And if you do tell them and react negatively, just remind them that nothing's changed about you other than the fact that they know you're bisexual. I'm pretty sure you have at least one friend/relative that'll support you but I don't know your scenario. Best of luck. And it doesn't even need to be a big, emotional announcement either. I was usually asked the question and responded with an upfront but casual "yup."
I'm struggling with the same issue right now. Yesterday I actually came out as bi for the first time to one of my friends. It was pretty casual, we were just talking about going to Pride again (he is gay, I went last year "just as an ally"). This casualty just worked pretty well - but only because I knew I was ready to let him know. So my best advice would be to take it easy and come out to a close friend or somebody who can relate to what you're going through - and know that other people are struggling with the exact same issues ❤
I had been thinking about it for years, but thought "I should get a girlfriend first, it'll be more logical to tell my mum then. But I thought about it more and more intensely, and one day, at the afternoon, I just decided: Now. Now is the time. I'll tell her. And she didn't bat an eye, then went into the other room to continue her laundry, and I had to follow her and ask things like: "Did you suspect anything? How do you feel about it? Is it okay to have a daughter-in-law when I get married?" I was a non-event to her, but huge to me. Take your time and don't set a date. Just say "now" and do it before you get too nervous. Don't make it big for THEM. But let them know it's big for YOU. (Also make sure you are safe, if you're in a hostile homo-phobic place. Never risk your health or roof over your head to come out. I hate to have to write this, but it's reality in many countries even today, 2018.)
I remember that day. It was after the Boston PRIDE parade. I had told my mom in the past that I thought I might be bi (turned out that I'm not). But I'm pretty sure that I'm a non-binary gender. It was then that I decided to be more proud of whatever I am. Some straight guy, some lesbian in a man's body, or anywhere in between.
I'm aro. I haven't told anyone except my internet friends. Some of my IRL friends ( Almost all of them.) are LGBTQ+ and have come out. I am fine to come out if I was gay or Bi or pan and so on. I just have that fear they will see me differently. Becuase I am aro. Or say you haven't found the one yet. I am just really nervous and scared.
Soul of Music why exactly would that be wrong? I mean your parents can’t possibly be mad at you for such a simple thing. You can’t develop any emotional feelings for anyone and that’s that, just tell them straight up
I don't think they would care that much. Also you are Aro, but not Ace? I think I am like that too, but I feel like that in the future it will be hard to do the diddle if I can't romantically like anyone.
SmolMusicalBean as everything, people dont need to understand any label you use for yourself. This is your life. Aro and ace people surely dont get the representation us gay and lesbian folks have, but you are valid and you are you and because of that you are wonderful. If you feel like coming out is something you need to do but that it can get confussing for your family and friends, look up some information, go all high school and do a Power Point (or Prezi, if you like animated presentations) and just talk them through it. Be honest about how you feel, of anything youve studied about yourself. Just be you!
wow that was so emotionally moving. The first thing I saw when I saw the thumbnail of this video was, "wow what could be this about? Is it about the conventional meaning of the phrase coming out? Or just the normal literal meaning of having a secret come out that is just any old secret secret? And for a long time I have understood what it means to come out to your peers, and most of all your parents, about coming out about your sexual orientation. Right away I knew that this guy was gay, and that that actually is what this video is about, but for the whole video I was kept pondering this deep question: "Is coming out about your sexual orientation the hardest thing to do, and the hardest secret to keep before you come out?" I've never thought I had had any secrets that were so secret that I couldn't tell anyone, but watching this video made me realize even more than I knew already, what it must be like to come out to parents that don't accept homosexuality, or anything on the lgbtq+ list for that matter. It made me realize how much it must mean to have to say that to your parents, when you already know that they are going to disapprove. But that whole emotionally moving topic aside, the other reason that this video was moving was that he was right at the end. If the guy who commited the shooting was anti-gay, he might have been gay himself, but just too jihadist to recognize that that's something that's perfectly ok. And in that scenario, if our society just accepted homosexuality more, then he would have been less likely to be so anti gay, and the 49 lives would have been saved. That is so moving too. But we will never know what the guy was thinking except from things we knew about him from friends and family while he was allive.
I remember I was on vacation in Arizona during the Pulse nightclub shootings. Back then I was either straight or questioning (I'm a teen and managed to figure myself out in the space of a year).
3:02 i’m not really good at English , i can not understand this sentence that he said. What “less one secret” mean? Could anyone please explain to me? At 3:02 thank in advance
One less secret, one secret less, like... -1 secrets, the secret being obviously the same as the topic of the video. That is, in practice: if the guy in Orlando did not have that one secret of beeing gay, ...
How am I supposed to tell my mom and step dad. I know they won’t except, I told my dad he excepted I just scared to tell my mom cause I live with her and I don’t want to get kicked out. I don’t want to leave my friends and I love the relationship I have with my mom. I don’t know what to do. But this video is pretty inspiring.
I know this is a sa video, bu for some reason I didnt understand what he was saying. how does his hooking up and the shooting co relate apart from doing it at the same time?
Arjun Sangha The implication is that the shooter was gay and in denial, so carried out the shooting due to his self-hatred. It's only a theory, though.
I would say to bring up the topic of any of the lbgt at one point, as a very distant topic, almost as if you are straight. That first time you bring up the topic of sexual orientation or sexual queerness, assuming you haven't done so already, should be as if it's something that is not you, but someone else. It could be like someone in the news that you use to bring it up. You could even take the pulse nightclub shooting as an example and say something along the lines of, "Hey I watched a video/read/listened to something about the shooting, and I can't help but think about whether the killer was gay...What if he was secretly gay and so brainwashed to think homosexuality was a bad thing, and that he was an immoral person that he not only wanted to kill himself, but other gay people... Could that be the reason that he commited the 49 people and killed himself?" I'm not saying this would have to be the example you use but if you were saying that you could go on to say, "Social media and the internet have created a world we live in today that is so conducive to propogating extremism, simply because websites can know what you like to see, and show you more of it." (even google does that) But the whole pulse nightclub shooting is just one example- I'm sure you can find other examples online of violence commited against gay people, or other people that identify as lgbtq+, and use that as an example of people being so mean to themself for being lgbt that they have turned themself against people that identify as such. (And it is proven to be human nature that you can feel biased against a group that you are part of. If you go to the harvard bias test, you will find that black americans will find themselves biased against themselves, simply because they live in a society that is biased against themselves, and that social pressure rubs off.) So anyway, you can find an example of someone committing violence against a group they are part of, and bring it up that first time you talk about it, (again, assuming that you haven't talked about it) Then test out the waters, and see how anti-bi they are. Going off of that you can see how many more times it will take that you will have to bring it up (still in terms of a distant problem, not related to yourself), and each time you bring up another person's personal dilema about being lgbt, you will make an inference about how many more times you will have to do so. Eventually they will start to empathise with the plight of the people you are talking about, even if they don't seem to be empathising. It will sit in their subconsous mind, and after planting that seed in their head more and more, they will start thinking about it subconsously more and more. I would wait at least a week in between planting each metaphorical seed in their head about this, because you don't want them to realize that you are bringing it up every day. It'll be some number of times before you can explain that you are bi, or that you will be able to tell them. Hopefully each time you bring up some topic about lgbt issues in the news, you can infer how much they are empathising with the issue, and you'll know when the time is right for you to come out yourself. But in the unlikely scenario that they figure out why you are bringing it up so often, you would have to explain that you are bi. But hopefully you can tell them yourself. The main thing is courage- you have to be confident each time you talk about any lgbt issue. Assuming that they have entirely different world belief systems than yours, you will have to bring it up a number of times before they actually start putting themselves in the shoes of these nameless lgbt people. They probably don't expose themselves to topics like this often, other than in the news, or whenever it happens involuntarily. So it won't even be on their radar that it's possible for normal people to be lgbt- because they probably think of lgbt people as very rare and as if they are some weird breed of people. But you probably know that- that's why you're asking. Anyway that would be my thoughts on what to do. Because chances are they will think of you almost entirely the same once you come out, but they will just think of you with that one difference for the rest of their life. That's how people are- if they aren't exposed to diversity in their formative years, any diversity they see will be a challenge for them to get used to. But people change and learn, and get used to things. Obviously I haven't even come to the "But can't you just pick one?" question that will surely come, and I don't know how to help you there, but hopefully I gave you a start, as a self admited straight male.
Great advice that +Ravi GOPINATHAN gave you, but depending on your situation you could test the waters with POSITIVE gay themes from the news. Like the actor Neil Patrick Harris, Marriage equality in the US, Ricky Martin that came out a few years ago - anything, but not connected to problems, death and misery. That's not a life their parents want for their child, they need positive role models shown, "this can be me". Also, depending on your situation and where you live - never come out if you risk your safety. Make sure you have a roof over your head and if you fear violence you need to think about your options, if it's really wise to come out at this time, or at all. Try telling a person you're really close with, that will not judge you. They can maybe be a support when you tell your parents. Best of luck!
+Linn Samir oh yeah that's true.. I didn't even think of positive gay themes haha when I wrote this comment a month ago. lol I wonder if this question was ever meant to be answered, or thought about in so much detail. But yeah that's definitely true also that you shouldn't come out if you fear violence. I wonder if the person who was asking this will ever come out to their parents, or whether we were a factor in making them come out sooner or later than they otherwise would have:/
No offense, but there is a difference in allies and us rainbow-ies when it comes to things like coming out. It's entertaining to be a victim and special snowflake for a while, but then you just want to get on with your life and get a partner and a job and three kittens and a new vacuum cleaner etc. It's good to remind people of this, especially those you come out to. You aren't just a sexuality, you are 98% other things too. About safety - I also forget that since I live in Sweden, and straight people are way more furious about homophobes than us doing something wrong, so worrying about safety here is seldom seen. (Unless in a devoted Jehowah's witness family or so.) But you never know where your fellow commenters are from, and I just got the feeling (for no reason??) that the OP was living in India, so I just thought I should mention it, since there is way less tolerance towards LGBT+ over there. Lastly, I love that you put so much effort into your reply! Keep doing your ally-job :-) And yes, I wonder what actually happened with the OP? Oh, the mysteries of TH-cam...
I'm gay too but I'm from South Korea one of the great country in Asia. But I didn't come out to my family I only have came out to my friends and some professors who are really close to me in my school. But I'm scared. If I will go abroad to study musical in near future which I have plan after all they gonna find it I just don't get it why I have to keep this feeling everytime but I will try hard to tell myself someday
I am amazed at how not one bufu reply in here has any regard for Bible. That’s what it takes to embrace homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle. It takes a wholesale jettison of the Holy Bible, total disregard for the future, and salvation. And a huge reliance on atheism or witchcraft/new age to replace your relationship with God. You’ve rewritten history to tickle your ears and support your lifestyle addiction to sin. If I were to say that I will pray for y’alls, you would curse me back and tell me not to bother. But God is on my side. I ask for His Mercy for you. Try not to curse me back and deepen your sin. God loves everyone.
Randy D. Truth will win out. When all your approving friends, and yourself, are stripped of the lies you cling to, as a shield, you will see exactly how this heinous sin, and your soul, appear in the eyes of God. You cannot hide your sin. You can only beg for mercy, and choose to change, for God to be able to heal you. It’s your choice. And truthfully, your consequences. No one was ever designed by God to be gay. I don’t care what pseudo Bible believers tell you.
That was CLEARLY a fart! I am an experr on that topic, since i am a vegetarian and fart more often than the average human being and had to learn how to hide and sneak out my gasses quite effectively. He tried. He failed. Now he rests.
How did i end up here You Tube, the title says"That moment your secret comes out" so i was just curious i stoped from that tinder part not hating on you homosexuals.🤗
That’s so sad. I’d feel guilty for the rest of my life if I had my first gay experience while miles away gay people were being shot in a nightclub for who they were.
I can't explain why this particular story was so powerful to me. I think in part, is because my father recently asked me if I was gay...and I lied to him and said, "no". To remember that others died in that night club with their families never truly knowing who they really were is making me feel convicted. I want to work on stop asking for other's permission to be accepted, and just live. Because we're not granted forever.
Mr. Burton I came out to my family 35 yrs ago now....If there was 1 thing that I would suggest that you quintuple-check yourself about, it is the following: Do it for yourself 1st! NOT for them 1st.
My particular experience reflects the trauma of having 2 fundamentalist christian siblings who have basically tortured me in a wide variety of mind games for decades now. So if/when you decide to come out, I trust that it will be a well-balanced decision for your particular context & that you are truly prepared for how they might respond. BEST WISHES!
coldflame your siblings suck. They are obviously lacking in life if they feel the need to wage psychological warfare on a family member. I can't help but think that arsholes will always find a way to legitimize their arsholery - basically your orientation made a target upon which to focus. And using religion as ammo is a mark of an inferior mind. F*ck them.
I'm straight, but I have the right to be who I am & love whomever I chose (of consenting age, of course.) You deserve no less than that.
Many blessings ❤
Theatre J Yes it is pathetic. Some things make it even worse. Our parents & extended family do not deserve it. The b&w thinking of fundy XXX-ianity infiltrated our family thru the oldest sibling & yes, ended up focusing on me in it's demonizing convictions (They're proud of their abusings, yet 'humble'). ...They are highly 'educated' people. Education coupled w/little insight or wisdom, I tend to describe it as.
Maybe giving *yourself* permission to just live might be the priority. My counselor keeps telling me that if I wouldn't treat someone I love the way I'm treating myself, then I deserve to treat myself better. Perhaps giving yourself the permission you've been seeking from others is the way to break free from the pattern? I wish you the best, De'Andre.
I don’t know what to tell you, im way older and came out years ago in a very different situation than yours. All I know is, I agree with that last statement, we’re not granted forever. The future is a promise, not a guarantee. I can’t tell you how to stop asking permission and just live. I’m hoping you figure it out somehow. All I can tell you is it’s your biggest priority right now. Later in life, you’ll realize how quick time goes. You can figure out the other stuff later.
The transparency and honesty is refreshing in a world where we keep things in and don't express as much.
Speechless. The last line, wow.
That ending gave me chills😢
But he didn't tell us about his Dad's reaction.
Man Chris. This is a Coming out story not like some drama queens just to get some like. Congratulations, a video worth watching.
*Pulse Nightclub shooting broke my heart. I'm glad I live in a progressive city. We marched the downtown streets in remembrance. A dark time indeed*
Manni Interrupted what does marching do for those people who died? Or is it just to make you feel better about how progressive you are?
AlecKetchupdude Its to show that we stand together, we will not be scared into hiding and to march for gun control. It's not to make me feel better. To take a stand for what I support and believe in.
So you're from Lincoln, Nebreska?
Shel that is incorrect. I live in TX
Coming out is hard but once you come out 😩😻 life becomes better.
The last line brought a tear to my eye
Thank you for sharing your powerful story, I cried, I can't believe the almost 100 thumbs down on this video.
It took me few seconds to understand what he meant in the last sentence, but wow. Chills.
Peace & Love
I dont get it? What orlando guy?
I love everything about this short piece. Your process, the development, the conclusion you come to that secrets suck, and maybe ... well done.
I have no words for your video. Love how you explain yourself and your story to your family
I'm crying. Thank you
Thank you for the story.
Amazing...be yourself, live YOUR life, YOUR way !!
Powerful stuff! Thank you!! So proud of your gutsy and authentic self! Take a bow! You deserve one. Love from Australia! 😘😘🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
I read "Outing Yourself" by Michelangelo Signorelli (spelled incorrectly) and used it as my guide. Was wonderful.
Just "WoW"
Oh my God! I’m bawling my eyes out right now. WOW
I just want to say I couldn't imagine my life without my LGBTQ companions. I pray for the day when people get over being hung up on such variations. We all have more in common than we know!
This was incredible. Just beautifully told, heartwrenching. Coming out was surprisingly hard for me and eventually I was outed by someone I wrongfully trusted. Everything turned out okay, thank God, but I can't imagine how much worse it could have been if I didn't have accepting family. Quick psa: never out anyone no matter what. You never know their situation and if you are putting them in danger
I've watched this thing several times now. It still hits me. Because Chris is obviously a young man who didn't want to tell his Dad - I can relate - who nevertheless told him because of the terrible circumstance of what happened in Orlando.
Wow. That blew me away. Beautifully shot, touching story eloquently told.
I remember having the same problems lol (with a girl)
I can relate to this completely -- I nervously changed my tinder preferences and came out etc. after the Pulse shooting and also the documentary Bridegroom which showed that true love between men does exist. Respect. Thanks for sharing.
I don't know why this messed me up so badly...
I can relate. After the pulse shooting I partially came out. I realized that I couldn't keep lying to myself and everyone around me. I could only thing about the people that had died with the secret. So I pick up my phone and texted my best friend. That was the first time I said gay out loud. A weight had been lifted of my shoulders and I started living my life. Pulse's victims didn't lose their lifes in vain. Their stories changed lifes all across the world. Although their lifes ended so brutally they gave an entire new generation the strength to come out and fight for change.
This was so powerful. I'm a trans guy, closeted to my dad, and this is seriously pushing me to tell him.
Beautiful story but "NPR is my favorite band" should be on a t shirt. Cheers if you read this.
But… how did your dad reply?? (love the Tee, by the way!)
Those shirts are at www.beatnikprints.com - his own creation!
Wow that was very beautiful
Wow. Such an amazing story. Thanks!
This is funny, scary, sad, and insightful all at the same time.
Uncle Android in Vermont is super proud of you, Chris! I look forward to meeting the lucky guy someday.
Damn this gets to me, because im struggling to tell my friends and family that im bisexual... i think they would all be pretty much totally fine with it, but i think im just scared, that they will suddenly somehow see me with different eyes... and i dont have the guts to just say that out loud to people i have known all my life :/ especially because i have only had boyfriends so far so they are probably pretty sure that im just straight.... any advice on how to overcome that anxiety of telling them?
TimarisFun Most people usually tell their friends first so that might be easier to do that first
There is no easy way to do it. I am also bi and I struggled for years to tell people. I started first with my friends, then I told my parents.
Don't worry about making a grand speech, just speak from your heart
TimarisFun come out when you're ready. And if you do tell them and react negatively, just remind them that nothing's changed about you other than the fact that they know you're bisexual. I'm pretty sure you have at least one friend/relative that'll support you but I don't know your scenario. Best of luck. And it doesn't even need to be a big, emotional announcement either. I was usually asked the question and responded with an upfront but casual "yup."
I'm struggling with the same issue right now. Yesterday I actually came out as bi for the first time to one of my friends. It was pretty casual, we were just talking about going to Pride again (he is gay, I went last year "just as an ally"). This casualty just worked pretty well - but only because I knew I was ready to let him know. So my best advice would be to take it easy and come out to a close friend or somebody who can relate to what you're going through - and know that other people are struggling with the exact same issues ❤
I had been thinking about it for years, but thought "I should get a girlfriend first, it'll be more logical to tell my mum then. But I thought about it more and more intensely, and one day, at the afternoon, I just decided: Now. Now is the time. I'll tell her. And she didn't bat an eye, then went into the other room to continue her laundry, and I had to follow her and ask things like: "Did you suspect anything? How do you feel about it? Is it okay to have a daughter-in-law when I get married?" I was a non-event to her, but huge to me.
Take your time and don't set a date. Just say "now" and do it before you get too nervous. Don't make it big for THEM. But let them know it's big for YOU.
(Also make sure you are safe, if you're in a hostile homo-phobic place. Never risk your health or roof over your head to come out. I hate to have to write this, but it's reality in many countries even today, 2018.)
This is a very powerful story. Great job.
I remember that day. It was after the Boston PRIDE parade. I had told my mom in the past that I thought I might be bi (turned out that I'm not). But I'm pretty sure that I'm a non-binary gender. It was then that I decided to be more proud of whatever I am. Some straight guy, some lesbian in a man's body, or anywhere in between.
I'm crying, this is so deep. ❤
Well, that one made me cry.
Does anyone knows where i can get the same bracelet that Chris use?
Living in Central Florida and having a precious gay teenage son PULSE woke up so many of us.
I'm aro. I haven't told anyone except my internet friends.
Some of my IRL friends ( Almost all of them.) are LGBTQ+ and have come out.
I am fine to come out if I was gay or Bi or pan and so on. I just have that fear they will see me differently. Becuase I am aro. Or say you haven't found the one yet.
I am just really nervous and scared.
Soul of Music aro? Sorry for my ignorance but what on earth is an aro?
Medj CHARLOTIN it's ok. Aro is short for Aromantic
Ace is asexual
Soul of Music why exactly would that be wrong? I mean your parents can’t possibly be mad at you for such a simple thing. You can’t develop any emotional feelings for anyone and that’s that, just tell them straight up
I don't think they would care that much. Also you are Aro, but not Ace? I think I am like that too, but I feel like that in the future it will be hard to do the diddle if I can't romantically like anyone.
SmolMusicalBean as everything, people dont need to understand any label you use for yourself. This is your life. Aro and ace people surely dont get the representation us gay and lesbian folks have, but you are valid and you are you and because of that you are wonderful. If you feel like coming out is something you need to do but that it can get confussing for your family and friends, look up some information, go all high school and do a Power Point (or Prezi, if you like animated presentations) and just talk them through it. Be honest about how you feel, of anything youve studied about yourself. Just be you!
wow that was so emotionally moving. The first thing I saw when I saw the thumbnail of this video was, "wow what could be this about? Is it about the conventional meaning of the phrase coming out? Or just the normal literal meaning of having a secret come out that is just any old secret secret? And for a long time I have understood what it means to come out to your peers, and most of all your parents, about coming out about your sexual orientation. Right away I knew that this guy was gay, and that that actually is what this video is about, but for the whole video I was kept pondering this deep question: "Is coming out about your sexual orientation the hardest thing to do, and the hardest secret to keep before you come out?" I've never thought I had had any secrets that were so secret that I couldn't tell anyone, but watching this video made me realize even more than I knew already, what it must be like to come out to parents that don't accept homosexuality, or anything on the lgbtq+ list for that matter. It made me realize how much it must mean to have to say that to your parents, when you already know that they are going to disapprove.
But that whole emotionally moving topic aside, the other reason that this video was moving was that he was right at the end. If the guy who commited the shooting was anti-gay, he might have been gay himself, but just too jihadist to recognize that that's something that's perfectly ok. And in that scenario, if our society just accepted homosexuality more, then he would have been less likely to be so anti gay, and the 49 lives would have been saved. That is so moving too. But we will never know what the guy was thinking except from things we knew about him from friends and family while he was allive.
Goosebumps
I remember the first time I heard about the shooting. I cried for about a day.
Thank you
My parents still didnt know. And I prefer to hide it than to make tgings complicated. Thats how sad my story is until now.
I remember I was on vacation in Arizona during the Pulse nightclub shootings. Back then I was either straight or questioning (I'm a teen and managed to figure myself out in the space of a year).
Beautiful video thank you 🙏
WOW!!! great video!!!!
3:02 i’m not really good at English , i can not understand this sentence that he said. What “less one secret” mean? Could anyone please explain to me? At 3:02 thank in advance
One less secret, one secret less, like... -1 secrets, the secret being obviously the same as the topic of the video.
That is, in practice: if the guy in Orlando did not have that one secret of beeing gay, ...
How am I supposed to tell my mom and step dad. I know they won’t except, I told my dad he excepted I just scared to tell my mom cause I live with her and I don’t want to get kicked out. I don’t want to leave my friends and I love the relationship I have with my mom. I don’t know what to do. But this video is pretty inspiring.
I told both my mom and dad who were divorced that I was seeing a guy when I was married.
This was beautiful and brave.
Tinder hasn't been working for me, I'm also lgbt
The shadow behind him kept making me think of angel wings, for some reason (even though it wasn't symmetrical).
Very well done.
Very interesting story. ❤😇
I know this is a sa video, bu for some reason I didnt understand what he was saying. how does his hooking up and the shooting co relate apart from doing it at the same time?
Dads always seem to be the hardest.
I cried
“He’s also a grumpy old white guy” you mean my grandfather?
Beautiful video
That was an amazing story... :'(
Hey meh is really early so shout out to soul pancake
Can someone please explain the last line for me please? I've watched this about 4 times now I just simply don't understand I feel so dumb...
Arjun Sangha The implication is that the shooter was gay and in denial, so carried out the shooting due to his self-hatred. It's only a theory, though.
I love this that moment when series
The way he told the story, I thought his secret was to announce that he first hooked up with a guy at the same time as the Pulse shooting.
I remember when the shooting happened. My phone blowing up because i kept getting notifications about it
help me to come out to my parents "Im bisexual" but i can't tell
I would say to bring up the topic of any of the lbgt at one point, as a very distant topic, almost as if you are straight. That first time you bring up the topic of sexual orientation or sexual queerness, assuming you haven't done so already, should be as if it's something that is not you, but someone else. It could be like someone in the news that you use to bring it up. You could even take the pulse nightclub shooting as an example and say something along the lines of, "Hey I watched a video/read/listened to something about the shooting, and I can't help but think about whether the killer was gay...What if he was secretly gay and so brainwashed to think homosexuality was a bad thing, and that he was an immoral person that he not only wanted to kill himself, but other gay people... Could that be the reason that he commited the 49 people and killed himself?" I'm not saying this would have to be the example you use but if you were saying that you could go on to say, "Social media and the internet have created a world we live in today that is so conducive to propogating extremism, simply because websites can know what you like to see, and show you more of it." (even google does that)
But the whole pulse nightclub shooting is just one example- I'm sure you can find other examples online of violence commited against gay people, or other people that identify as lgbtq+, and use that as an example of people being so mean to themself for being lgbt that they have turned themself against people that identify as such. (And it is proven to be human nature that you can feel biased against a group that you are part of. If you go to the harvard bias test, you will find that black americans will find themselves biased against themselves, simply because they live in a society that is biased against themselves, and that social pressure rubs off.)
So anyway, you can find an example of someone committing violence against a group they are part of, and bring it up that first time you talk about it, (again, assuming that you haven't talked about it) Then test out the waters, and see how anti-bi they are. Going off of that you can see how many more times it will take that you will have to bring it up (still in terms of a distant problem, not related to yourself), and each time you bring up another person's personal dilema about being lgbt, you will make an inference about how many more times you will have to do so.
Eventually they will start to empathise with the plight of the people you are talking about, even if they don't seem to be empathising. It will sit in their subconsous mind, and after planting that seed in their head more and more, they will start thinking about it subconsously more and more. I would wait at least a week in between planting each metaphorical seed in their head about this, because you don't want them to realize that you are bringing it up every day.
It'll be some number of times before you can explain that you are bi, or that you will be able to tell them. Hopefully each time you bring up some topic about lgbt issues in the news, you can infer how much they are empathising with the issue, and you'll know when the time is right for you to come out yourself. But in the unlikely scenario that they figure out why you are bringing it up so often, you would have to explain that you are bi. But hopefully you can tell them yourself.
The main thing is courage- you have to be confident each time you talk about any lgbt issue. Assuming that they have entirely different world belief systems than yours, you will have to bring it up a number of times before they actually start putting themselves in the shoes of these nameless lgbt people. They probably don't expose themselves to topics like this often, other than in the news, or whenever it happens involuntarily. So it won't even be on their radar that it's possible for normal people to be lgbt- because they probably think of lgbt people as very rare and as if they are some weird breed of people. But you probably know that- that's why you're asking. Anyway that would be my thoughts on what to do. Because chances are they will think of you almost entirely the same once you come out, but they will just think of you with that one difference for the rest of their life. That's how people are- if they aren't exposed to diversity in their formative years, any diversity they see will be a challenge for them to get used to. But people change and learn, and get used to things. Obviously I haven't even come to the "But can't you just pick one?" question that will surely come, and I don't know how to help you there, but hopefully I gave you a start, as a self admited straight male.
Great advice that +Ravi GOPINATHAN gave you, but depending on your situation you could test the waters with POSITIVE gay themes from the news. Like the actor Neil Patrick Harris, Marriage equality in the US, Ricky Martin that came out a few years ago - anything, but not connected to problems, death and misery. That's not a life their parents want for their child, they need positive role models shown, "this can be me".
Also, depending on your situation and where you live - never come out if you risk your safety. Make sure you have a roof over your head and if you fear violence you need to think about your options, if it's really wise to come out at this time, or at all.
Try telling a person you're really close with, that will not judge you. They can maybe be a support when you tell your parents.
Best of luck!
+Linn Samir oh yeah that's true.. I didn't even think of positive gay themes haha when I wrote this comment a month ago. lol I wonder if this question was ever meant to be answered, or thought about in so much detail. But yeah that's definitely true also that you shouldn't come out if you fear violence. I wonder if the person who was asking this will ever come out to their parents, or whether we were a factor in making them come out sooner or later than they otherwise would have:/
No offense, but there is a difference in allies and us rainbow-ies when it comes to things like coming out. It's entertaining to be a victim and special snowflake for a while, but then you just want to get on with your life and get a partner and a job and three kittens and a new vacuum cleaner etc. It's good to remind people of this, especially those you come out to. You aren't just a sexuality, you are 98% other things too.
About safety - I also forget that since I live in Sweden, and straight people are way more furious about homophobes than us doing something wrong, so worrying about safety here is seldom seen. (Unless in a devoted Jehowah's witness family or so.) But you never know where your fellow commenters are from, and I just got the feeling (for no reason??) that the OP was living in India, so I just thought I should mention it, since there is way less tolerance towards LGBT+ over there.
Lastly, I love that you put so much effort into your reply! Keep doing your ally-job :-) And yes, I wonder what actually happened with the OP? Oh, the mysteries of TH-cam...
I came out the day woke up to pulse.
I’m so deep in the closet lol
I'm gay too but I'm from South Korea one of the great country in Asia. But I didn't come out to my family I only have came out to my friends and some professors who are really close to me in my school. But I'm scared. If I will go abroad to study musical in near future which I have plan after all they gonna find it
I just don't get it why I have to keep this feeling everytime but I will try hard to tell myself someday
Don't come out unless you have stable job ...it's difficult
What was your dad's response?
Ow my heart 💔💔💔
this made me sad
Wow you are so bold I wish I was you
Hello
Everybody is scared to tell their dad their sexuality
「unavailable」 restart I KNOW I TOLD MY MOM ONLY
.......💞
The rainbow colored band is a clue...
I live in Orlando.... 🏳️🌈😓
my heart :(
I am amazed at how not one bufu reply in here has any regard for Bible. That’s what it takes to embrace homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle. It takes a wholesale jettison of the Holy Bible, total disregard for the future, and salvation. And a huge reliance on atheism or witchcraft/new age to replace your relationship with God. You’ve rewritten history to tickle your ears and support your lifestyle addiction to sin. If I were to say that I will pray for y’alls, you would curse me back and tell me not to bother. But God is on my side. I ask for His Mercy for you. Try not to curse me back and deepen your sin. God loves everyone.
Randy D. Truth will win out. When all your approving friends, and yourself, are stripped of the lies you cling to, as a shield, you will see exactly how this heinous sin, and your soul, appear in the eyes of God. You cannot hide your sin.
You can only beg for mercy, and choose to change, for God to be able to heal you. It’s your choice. And truthfully, your consequences. No one was ever designed by God to be gay. I don’t care what pseudo Bible believers tell you.
Lady Gaga - Speechless.mp3
That was sad
«... oh, another shooting... »
America. :(
The views are 123,454 IM MAD!
01:03 did he fart?
Mayyyybbbbeeeee
That was CLEARLY a fart! I am an experr on that topic, since i am a vegetarian and fart more often than the average human being and had to learn how to hide and sneak out my gasses quite effectively. He tried. He failed. Now he rests.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
:'(
his face look like finn balor
Anyone else think he looks like Pewdiepie?
damn
How did i end up here You Tube, the title says"That moment your secret comes out" so i was just curious i stoped from that tinder part not hating on you homosexuals.🤗
imaging being black and gay
That’s so sad. I’d feel guilty for the rest of my life if I had my first gay experience while miles away gay people were being shot in a nightclub for who they were.
Second
sixth
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