Remember in Chess, the King can only move one square tile per turn. And the Queen can move as many square tiles per turn. As a King, you got to make each day/turn count.
@@Ciskuss To some, this is true. But external looks eventually fade. However, character and self-improvement typically improve over time. If someone is just interested in you for your looks, they are not worth it.
@@lemuelbernardmost of the time i would agree that you should prioritize personality but still looks are so important for example the first impression and it can tell you many things about a person because if they look really good and fresh probably they take care of themselves goes to the gym etc. So saying that looks are not important is trash advice its more like 50% looks and 50% personality
You can still get girls if your not that good looking, I know a guy that's in really good shape that looks just okay but his charisma is pretty good and he gets some women. Just having an attractive body will make a big difference. Other than that the height requirements girls have is actually delusional and f-ed up. I worked store jobs so I would talk to regulars first before trying to talk to randoms and for the most part the regulars were nice because they were already in an environment they liked coming to. Others are going to be better at talking but you just have to raise it to a good enough level to start getting results.
true my girlfriend broke up with me today and she fucked with mine y’all have to be careful abt who you date and make sure they love you for who you are
My biggest fear with women as that they'll think I'm a creep - I find it easy to talk, start conversations, text, and flirt, but I cannot get over the fear that any random girl I see will view me as a threat. Maybe that's on my end, though.
I understand you. It's hard to read them, you never know how to be with them, I always try to be respectful but some girls just expect you to act like a caveman, and you can be the caveman with the wrong girl
"but what if when that girl comes into your life, you weren't ready" THIS! Man this alone is what drives me to get better at this. Beautiful women that would make great mothers are so rare that when one comes into your life you better be ready. Enjoyed the video and the insight from your self improvement journey!
you "improving" yourself is essentially based on the standards of women and is for the purpose of attracting women , so essentially you are not really focusing on yourself , you are not listening to yourself. what you want to do in life, think about it. what would the child me, unaffected by hormones, really want? what did you want to do growing up before puberty? that's the real you. don't let the hormones blind you
I got isolated because I had to fight with stomach issues for years, no friends left right now, no girlfriend to support. Trying to build my garden now, did the first step by completing my education. Now its time to build my social skills and become a better person by every single day. Great Video man 👍
changing your environment and trying new things are also the things you need to do imo. Like, joining some courses, events etc. because no matter how beautiful a garden you make, if there’s no colorful butterflies they won’t be able to find you. And that’s what ive been going through for three years now! Damn you highschool!!
I appreciate you saying that, i think anyone who reads this will find value out of it. Also keep up all the good work and i believe you will make it far in life
I’ve discovered just how important location is when my twin moved for his job. I still live with my parents, good job, but I just want to save money, and my job is close to home so it makes no sense to move out. My friends also live home so I have no issue with it. But I live in the middle of the suburbs and meeting new people is tough, there’s not much to do or many spaces to meet younger people. My brother moved to small city where there’s soo many young professionals and he’s made so many new friends and can go to so many places to do so. Luckily I’ve been able to maximize how much I can do and I’ve got plenty of friends here but my god it made me realize just how important location is. Of course, moving isn’t easy though.
There is no finish line. Your “garden” stays with you as you keep working on yourself and your life purpose. A woman is someone to share your life experiences with, but not the goal. Your goal is to live a life worth living.
Sorry to say this, but women don’t build they move in. Girls are meant to be a perk of being successful as they naturally gravitate towards you when you are doing well for yourself. After all they want the best man they can get.
If the girl is a keeper, she’ll bring her own beautiful garden to match yours. If she doesn’t and only takes from your garden, she ain’t worth being part of it in the first place.
Thank you for this!! For so long I was chasing after women trying and trying but it was getting me nowhere in the right direction so I started focusing on myself, distanced myself focused on my goals and now I’m in a much better spot. Still no girl but I’m happy with where I’m at and who I’ve become.
Very true. The importance of cultivating your garden, establishing your self-confidence and worth based on your own actions. Is that when it comes to the idea of dating and a relationship, you approach it with the idea of, "I want it, but I don't need it." And, the difference between wanting compared to needing will provide you a vastly different outcome around how you approach someone. How you will act and treat them during the relationship. And, if things don't work out, how you will react to that loss and recover.
I really appreciate you saying all of that man, its all really valuable. Also welcome to the community and i'll be looking forward to getting more valuable comments from you and grow more together
this is the greatest video i've ever seen. i definitely have some attachment issues going on which ruined my last relationship because that rs was my only purpose. Rebuilding my life rn because of that and i felt so heard while watching this. Much love out to you
I'm really glad to hear you got some value out of the video man. As long as you learn from what happens in life, you will only grow and get stronger. Keep up all of the good work you're doing and welcome to the community
I like the metaphor for this, a bit like "you can give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, but teaching a man how to fix and he'll eat for a lifetime" kinda thing
the way you speak of the first girl that entered your life and immediatle „became“ your entire life, just hits different because I was in the exact same situation just a year ago. thanks for this great video!
Of course man, I hope you got some value out of it. Keep up the good work and hardships life throws at you, just remember that if you use them positively you’ll only benefit from them
Bro i feel you, i mean i achieved this mentality at my 26 yo… you know life is harsh, is it for everyone, but sometimes this life can hit you so hard that you have to fight back your demons… i have suffered anxiety as result for been good in my toxic job… i literally had a burnout… so like a phoenix i had to came back from my ashes… i started to take care of myself in every way, and started to live my own life… and in the end i achieved serenity and balance… nowadays life is still harsh fore everyone but now i know my value, and i have my own life… let’s see what will happen… i hope that everyone out there will stop to have bad habits and thoughts and start to live his own life… you deserve it ❤
I really needed to hear this today thanks man! It feels like I am in a similar situation right now but by putting myself first as the priority i feel like I can start building my garden around that. I appreciate the advice and perspectives that you are giving to young men like myself.
I'm glad you got some value out of the video. Keep up all of the good work man and welcome to the community, i'll be looking forward to seeing you around more
Beautifully said, man. Really gave me the inspiration to just start somewhere, even if it's not perfect so that I can grow to become the person I want to be. Thank you.
Your video says the same thing as all the others. Work out, go outside, do things to impove your life. But your words touched me, a comment you made, I was able to see myself in this situation and so for that I think you made a great video.
Some of the best advice ever. But I still have no plan. How to improve my confidence, my communication skill and etc. I'm not bad and not perfect. But it feels like there are so many things to improve. Wish you luck!
Good work! Just the thing, is that when you enter a relationship, you will always have your own problems. Just like her, many women I interacted with still have their own problems. That’s just human nature, we always have imperfections or flaws. Many people enter relationships with broken hearts or problems, and depending how they treat it, they either stay together or break up. I wouldn’t worry about my insecurities when approaching a girl, because I know they have their own too, we aren’t perfect and that’s okay. Of course there’s the narcissists and psychopaths you have to stay away from, but you’ll know the difference between the two and the normal ones
Remember how we all said the same old reason for breaking up "You deserve someone better"...So, it is now your turn to become "someone better". Keep up the good work brothers and sisters. Do not be sorry, be better.
I appreciate you saying that man, this will definitely benefit anyone who reads it. Welcome to the community and i'll be looking forward to seeing you around more G
I’ve been working on myself physically for about 3-4 years now, I was single that whole time apart from one girl who I had a truly miserable relationship with because I was so insecure and worried about it and made a million mistakes. But I learnt so much about myself and about how to handle my insecurities and emotions and a few months ago I met the most beautiful, loving and kind girl that I ever could have asked for. I was so glad that I was actually ready to accept this amazing girl into my life because I had cultivated that garden and worked on myself and learned from past mistakes to where I’m now securely in love with this perfect girl. Never ever give up on yourself or love, God will send you on the right path when you’re ready 🙏
I am nearly 30 and I had to fight a lot of trauma and emotional abuse from the family. If I would ever get a girl, she needs to love me and stay when I am at my lowest. If she cannot do that all the quality and stuff is useless. Therefore she needs to love without the garden. Then it is true love, not this fake love.
True. This true love will strengthen the people to get through the struggles of life together. You need a teammate. You don't need to be a checklist for anyone. What if you struggle and you can't keep your partner's checklist of you as the perfect product running? Will you have a teammate?
@@ChrisRane Yeah, but the woman today want that checklist. This society with all that crap of modern dating made them that way. I am very old school and to me nearly every woman I see thinks this sick. They lost what it means to truly love someone and have no empathy and compassion. As soon as life gets difficult, they run and just want the good times. They love to believe the lie and go with the devil to hell instead of walking with truth, god and realize what the true path is, which everyone went before the stupid pill and protection for sex in the 1960s. If you read the bible, you know exactly why relationships do not last anymore. The woman refuse to become one flesh with her man and she also refuse to take the duties as a woman and respect her man. In the bible it even states that the woman should not leave her man if they are one flesh (for context marriage happens in the heart and not in church or on paper), but most women do, because the modern dating believe of vanity (sin) kicks in and they monkey branch to a "better" man, but become unhappy in the end, because they did lie to themselves who they truly love. They are only allowed to have a new man if the present has lived his life, it is stated. Therefore, the man does not choose. He is chosen and if a woman did choose him, but left him, she experiences all the pleasure (sin) in the world afterward but loses intimacy ultimately, and he is cursed and broken for life, never being able to commit this strong has he did with the woman that is actually his flesh. I am telling you this, because this is my testimony to you. Do not be chosen fast. She has to show you her character, when you are at your worst. If she stays, marry her.
I want us to build OUR garden, not my own where you're a mere guest (and since you haven't invested in it, you'd be okay leaving without a second thought if I ever go through periods where I can't take care of the garden as well as I used to/you find a better garden elsewhere).
You are wrong! I have had traumas from my family as well. you need to heal and be happy with yourself. you can not expect to stay damaged and let the trauma drain you every day and expect another person to fulfill you, thats not how reality works. you will allways stay drained and alone because nobody wants to be with someone that is allways going downwards. Fucking fight and face your trauma. do shadow work, explore your psychie, meditate. be 100% happy alone with just yourself and you will be so magnetic people will come from all places because they want some of your peacefullnes aura. im 32, i lived with traume 32 years, healed a couple of weeks ago and healing was the best descicion in my life.
@@SwjatoslawHD You are not healed at all. It is better to live a truth in pain than to live a lie in happiness. True happiness comes from intimacy and intimacy can only be achieved if you can be vulnerable with one another without judgement, otherwise it ends in hurt again. You can have 1000 of people around you and they will mean nothing to you, because only one girl could give you the love you need to be real. I learned this when I started to walk with god, and started reading the bible. Vanity (in context to self-help, healing and however this is called) is in fact a sin and to accept and acknowledge your pain one another is actually true strength, because at that point you can grow and face reality with your people and you are be able to let go of the wrong people. Your people might not come over night, but they like the real you and most important they will stay.
I'm a lesbian but i also struggle to find the right one. I dont feel insecure, ive worked on myself for years, i work out and make sure i look good. I'm a bit nervous when talking with people i'm interested in and thats normal.
I had this awakening with the same thought process as this man had spoke of about 2 months ago. I was very depressed about losing my mother. It carried with me for years heavily I stopped being me and being present i was very anti social. It ruined my relationship of 6 years with my gf but I now realize the pain I caused not really dealing with my emotions. I still live with her but her heart has now changed.So I’m improving myself with self love (working out,skincare routine, not downing myself, being present, and not taking time for granted. I appreciate whoever read this it means a lot.
You're doing it right. Approaching and interacting with women will build confidence and help with social anxiety. Using dating apps or social media is an option but I've found many of the women are only looking for attention and aren't interested in dating.
Damn right, my man. This video is very accurate and came to me at the right moment. I'm exactly in the point of making my garden and taking action and I feel identified with the background you explained. 10/10, thanks for your words and let's keep up the good work.
I'm glad to hear you got some value out of the video G and yes sir, we'll keep working hard and I have a feeling we'll both make it far in life with that work
Very healthy advice. Thank you! You're doing a great job! It's easy to be hard on oneself but you're actually doing really good with what you said in these video. Keep up, you certainly can!
If you feel like you're going through an inner desert, remember you have the power to transform it into a beautiful garden. Well said brother! Thank you
Hey, just wanted to say that I really like your take on this. What you described was pretty much my motto four years ago. Now I live together with my girlfriend of 2 years, am close to having my bachelors degree, have a job and a good social life. I too struggled with gaming addiction and had a period in my life where I did pretty much nothing of value for 3 years. Taking my life seriously and trying to better myself was the best thing for me and I don´t like to imagine where I would be now if I hadn´t turned my life around. TH-cam often tries to push alphamale and pick-up artist content on my page and I was slowly losing faith that there is anything worth watching for young people struggling with the same issues I did in my teens. So your video as a whole and seeing that the comments weren´t mysoginistic bs was a breath of fresh air!
In 2021 as senior at high school I had to change state because of my father's job, and due to covid-19, I could finish my hs online, so I didnt change for one here where I live. This deprived me of making new friends like a normal 17 teenager, at school. And as I have social anxiety, I couldnt just go and talk to people and make new friends out there. The past 3 years have been the most depressive, meaningless and lonely years of my life. Not just about girls, but friendships and bonds at all. This video really helped me, I will try to apply what you said and make new friends, maybe meet a cool girl, lets see. Thank you.
I’m sorry to hear about that and I believe things will turn around for the better as long as you put in the work. Keep it up man and welcome to the community
literally going through this right now. got off a talking stage and was prioritising getting a girl or that feeling way too much again. Was in a horrible mental state but im slowly now out of it and working on my garden too ✊
A guy with a perfect hairline, jawline, face features and body, probably an okay job (working under 40h a week) is teaching 4chan users to just go for it, while saying he also had experienced "brief moments of anxiety" while trying to do it. Pure comedy, keep it going, man
he has all this now, but like he said, before he did nothing to his life, after getting more confident he starting taking care of himself. Thats why his appeareance is way better now, so all you need to do is take care of yourself first
I can relate to your story. I broke up with my first girlfriend a little more than a month ago. Though it was me, who initiated break up, i still was struck by it. It felt, like my life purpose just disappeared with her. Now i understand how much I incorporated her in my life, completely forgetting about myself and about my friends. Though i still struggle with everyday life, i decided to act a bit more active, than i did before. I started walking outside way more often, than i used to do. I started going to the pool every week. It helps me to cope with my feelings a bit. I hope i'll be able to recover from it someday and become a better man.
I can relate so much to this. Thanks for the video mate, I'm 20 single, never kissed (lmao) and I've never been in a relationship. However in the last years I developed a good shape, got in medical college, I'm studying a lot and I'm trying to be my best version. I still haven't been able to date the girls I wanted but I'm keep going forward. Great video!!
I wish more people today would take advantage of your life lessons! You are not only building up a meaningful life for yourself but you are gracious enough to share how you are doing it! Thanks for another great lesson! -N
I know you probably don't remember me, but I have been watching you since you had 100 subscribers. It is always nice to see a brother thrive. I know you will never give up. God be with you on your journey.
Really nice words, i think its exactly right like that. I already do most of that, i try to tell girls they are pretty every time i see one that i find pretty, i work out every day, dont drink, dont smoke, baught an appartment and safe as much money and days of vacation as possible for when that girl comes
Jesus Christ wants a personal relationship with you through the Holy Spirit, not religion and blind faith. You see, we all have sinned and deserve punishment but God saved us from the eternal punishment of our sins by sending His Son Jesus Christ, fullness of God bodily, a perfect, sinless sacrifice to pay the penalty for our sins by shedding His blood on the cross. He died and rose from the dead so that we may have everlasting life. It is all finished and now for you to accept the free gift of grace you must believe from your heart in Jesus Christ, that He paid the price for your sins, that He is risen and alive. Don't trust in your own goodness but transfer your trust to Jesus and follow Him, get to know Him personally. By faith you will receive the Holy Spirit, become born again, know Jesus personally and He will transform your heart and clean you from the inside out. Believe in Him, read the Bible and pray for the Holy Spirit to fill you and change you, obey the Word. Much love and God bless you!
You delivered you statement and explanation in a such fascinating way!! I knew that stuff before I watched this video, but regardless you are truly amazing, and we all are.
Western dating is just toxic AF. Women have such ridiculously high standards for men that so many men are dealing with self confidence, body, and self esteem issues…you shouldn’t have to be a 10 to get with a 6…
Start building your garden. Lifting weights were my first steps. It not only made me bigger, but opened my eyes to my ambitions and goals. It gave me discipline by staying consistent, which in turn spread to all other aspects of my life.
This is inspiring in a way because most people would think just because you're a tall good looking dude getting girls should be easy but even a guy like you needs to put in the work.
I had that. I spent 7 years in a relationship. And she was great. She was everything for me. And I didn’t progress. I was like you said. Didn’t build my garden. She wanted me to succeed, but eventually got tired of my failures. I understand I may have fucked it all up. But your video kinda helped me realize that unless I forget about all that self esteem issues and the passivity and take action, I won’t succeed.
The Same thing happend to me.. more than once actualy, and when she left.. i lost everything.. even my goals, now i try to find something that i could build a garden from, but its realy .. realy hard.. this video actualy has a very good message, keep making things like that.For me Jordan peterson videos helped to find out this truth, but you had put it more.. aproach able i think.
i confirm everything in this video. i like the garden analogy. helps to articulate myself to other people, when this is the topic of the discussion or it is about to happen. build ur own gardens bois. and it will happen naturally
Wow, it kinda inspired me to change the way i look at it and thanks to this i am going to do more things to "build my garden" thanks for this and maybe i will stay on this channel more to listen more of you. Thank you and i am going to watch rest of your videos
Love this video! I'm currently working on myself in regards to speaking to women in daytime I find attractive and giving them a compliment and overall just giving them a good time
Remmber that your garden doesn't have to be perfect or even finished yet. And there's more than one way to make a garden. Fill your garden with the things you care about and conitnue to work on it and Trust the process. And hey, every once in a while take a break from working and enjoy the gardnen you've built. Trust in the process! You've got this king 👊!
"Insecurities when it comes to the way that I look" says bro with the face of an angel and the physique of a model. You look good man, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Keep building your garden and stay patient, the right one will come with time
And if they don't, then what?
@@404errorcodeVthen you have a beautiful garden
if we build the garden and then she comes "the right one" how will we keep her & have the game lol. Game & confidence so important
But the important thing that many guys forget is: a big part of building this garden is to get experience with girls
Remember in Chess, the King can only move one square tile per turn.
And the Queen can move as many square tiles per turn.
As a King, you got to make each day/turn count.
"If you want to be with a queen, you must work on becoming a king".
Facts
Expressed in the trashiest way possible, yes 😂
I want to be a God
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 Hell yes! That would be awesome.
I am just an pesky peasant. I'll anchieve nothing beacuse I am basically nothing
This is so true, man! Don’t chase 10s; become a 10, and you will attract 10s.
Exactly. Also welcome to the community man, I’m glad you’re here
If you are not a 10 in looks, you can do all you want but it doesn't work
@@Ciskuss To some, this is true. But external looks eventually fade. However, character and self-improvement typically improve over time. If someone is just interested in you for your looks, they are not worth it.
@@lemuelbernardmost of the time i would agree that you should prioritize personality but still looks are so important for example the first impression and it can tell you many things about a person because if they look really good and fresh probably they take care of themselves goes to the gym etc. So saying that looks are not important is trash advice its more like 50% looks and 50% personality
@@Manuel_-kd4gt clueless its all looks personality just needs to not be too awful
I don’t even have a friend…but I’ll keep building my garden.
You’re on the right path man, keep up the good work and welcome to the community. Always feel free to let me know if you need anything, I’ll be here
🤝
Mate same, lets both strive for greatness 💪
Z
I don't have friend too, but even if you 10000 miles away, I can be your friend
Instructions unclear, built a flourishing vegetable garden from the ground up, but I am still very much single.
Keep working on it. You have found a purpose in life
@@RaineWildernah, find a purpose that actually gets what you want.
At least you got salad 🤷
Your eggplant probably isn't fully grown yet.
@@donsicariofx 🤨📸
Like I learned not so long ago: What you look for in a person, first you gotta have it yourself.
I really like that man i appreciate you saying it, I think others will find value out of this too
So I have to get overweight in order to have boobs to get a girl with D-cups? XD
Already have that.
@@TheSniperMAJOR Yes :)
So I should go transgender?
step 1: be attractive
step 2: don't be unattractive
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING
You can still get girls if your not that good looking, I know a guy that's in really good shape that looks just okay but his charisma is pretty good and he gets some women. Just having an attractive body will make a big difference. Other than that the height requirements girls have is actually delusional and f-ed up. I worked store jobs so I would talk to regulars first before trying to talk to randoms and for the most part the regulars were nice because they were already in an environment they liked coming to. Others are going to be better at talking but you just have to raise it to a good enough level to start getting results.
I must say if this were true all average and ugly guys would be single,they aren't
Whatever you do never play with someone's feelings❤️
true my girlfriend broke up with me today and she fucked with mine y’all have to be careful abt who you date and make sure they love you for who you are
and never simp
@@arthurmorgan2906whats something u do makes u a simp
And always feel when someone's playing
Why? There’s no consequences for hurting someone’s feelings.
My biggest fear with women as that they'll think I'm a creep - I find it easy to talk, start conversations, text, and flirt, but I cannot get over the fear that any random girl I see will view me as a threat. Maybe that's on my end, though.
Hey youre doing good, starting convos is the hardest i think for most of us. As long as youre not doing weird shit its all good
@@MrAlexs888 That's true... thanks man
Threat? Why?
@@tappajaav Like a bad intentioned person. I just have trouble telling what to say and when it's appropriate.
I understand you. It's hard to read them, you never know how to be with them, I always try to be respectful but some girls just expect you to act like a caveman, and you can be the caveman with the wrong girl
"Build it and they will come"
For certain people only*
They still won't come. They will still expect you to go to them. 😆
Gold diggers will come
@@jokerpilled2535 Just make sure the girl you pick has her own money and is somewhat emotionally stable. The worse Gold Diggers are usually obvious.
@@xxChacaronXX I don’t care about a girl with money, I’m looking for a traditional girl.
"but what if when that girl comes into your life, you weren't ready" THIS! Man this alone is what drives me to get better at this. Beautiful women that would make great mothers are so rare that when one comes into your life you better be ready.
Enjoyed the video and the insight from your self improvement journey!
It drives me too man and I hope you got some value from the video. Also welcome to the community and I’ll be looking forward to seeing you around more
I spend my time improving on myself instead of waiting around for a relationship. Best thing to do right now.
Exactly. The time is going to pass anyway so why not capture every moment as it passes
you "improving" yourself is essentially based on the standards of women and is for the purpose of attracting women , so essentially you are not really focusing on yourself , you are not listening to yourself. what you want to do in life, think about it. what would the child me, unaffected by hormones, really want? what did you want to do growing up before puberty? that's the real you. don't let the hormones blind you
@@mrbawls8736 it's better to give up than to try
I got isolated because I had to fight with stomach issues for years, no friends left right now, no girlfriend to support. Trying to build my garden now, did the first step by completing my education. Now its time to build my social skills and become a better person by every single day. Great Video man 👍
I’m glad to hear you’re putting in the work, keep it up man and welcome to the community
changing your environment and trying new things are also the things you need to do imo. Like, joining some courses, events etc. because no matter how beautiful a garden you make, if there’s no colorful butterflies they won’t be able to find you. And that’s what ive been going through for three years now! Damn you highschool!!
I appreciate you saying that, i think anyone who reads this will find value out of it. Also keep up all the good work and i believe you will make it far in life
I’ve discovered just how important location is when my twin moved for his job. I still live with my parents, good job, but I just want to save money, and my job is close to home so it makes no sense to move out. My friends also live home so I have no issue with it. But I live in the middle of the suburbs and meeting new people is tough, there’s not much to do or many spaces to meet younger people. My brother moved to small city where there’s soo many young professionals and he’s made so many new friends and can go to so many places to do so. Luckily I’ve been able to maximize how much I can do and I’ve got plenty of friends here but my god it made me realize just how important location is. Of course, moving isn’t easy though.
So after you built your garden, what benefit was the girl? If a girl isn’t there for you during the building, what value is she at the finish line?
A liability.
There is no finish line. Your “garden” stays with you as you keep working on yourself and your life purpose. A woman is someone to share your life experiences with, but not the goal. Your goal is to live a life worth living.
Sorry to say this, but women don’t build they move in. Girls are meant to be a perk of being successful as they naturally gravitate towards you when you are doing well for yourself. After all they want the best man they can get.
that's also a good point
If the girl is a keeper, she’ll bring her own beautiful garden to match yours. If she doesn’t and only takes from your garden, she ain’t worth being part of it in the first place.
Thank you for this!! For so long I was chasing after women trying and trying but it was getting me nowhere in the right direction so I started focusing on myself, distanced myself focused on my goals and now I’m in a much better spot. Still no girl but I’m happy with where I’m at and who I’ve become.
Very true. The importance of cultivating your garden, establishing your self-confidence and worth based on your own actions. Is that when it comes to the idea of dating and a relationship, you approach it with the idea of, "I want it, but I don't need it." And, the difference between wanting compared to needing will provide you a vastly different outcome around how you approach someone. How you will act and treat them during the relationship. And, if things don't work out, how you will react to that loss and recover.
I really appreciate you saying all of that man, its all really valuable. Also welcome to the community and i'll be looking forward to getting more valuable comments from you and grow more together
this is the greatest video i've ever seen. i definitely have some attachment issues going on which ruined my last relationship because that rs was my only purpose. Rebuilding my life rn because of that and i felt so heard while watching this. Much love out to you
I'm really glad to hear you got some value out of the video man. As long as you learn from what happens in life, you will only grow and get stronger. Keep up all of the good work you're doing and welcome to the community
I like the metaphor for this, a bit like "you can give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, but teaching a man how to fix and he'll eat for a lifetime" kinda thing
I recently went through a breakup after dating for only 4 days. This video changed my life!
4 days? Holy bro that’s rough
Don’t worry you’ll find the right one for you
you’ll be fine brother just focus on u for now. they’ll come to you
the way you speak of the first girl that entered your life and immediatle „became“ your entire life, just hits different because I was in the exact same situation just a year ago. thanks for this great video!
Of course man, I hope you got some value out of it. Keep up the good work and hardships life throws at you, just remember that if you use them positively you’ll only benefit from them
Bro i feel you, i mean i achieved this mentality at my 26 yo… you know life is harsh, is it for everyone, but sometimes this life can hit you so hard that you have to fight back your demons… i have suffered anxiety as result for been good in my toxic job… i literally had a burnout… so like a phoenix i had to came back from my ashes… i started to take care of myself in every way, and started to live my own life… and in the end i achieved serenity and balance… nowadays life is still harsh fore everyone but now i know my value, and i have my own life… let’s see what will happen… i hope that everyone out there will stop to have bad habits and thoughts and start to live his own life… you deserve it ❤
I really needed to hear this today thanks man! It feels like I am in a similar situation right now but by putting myself first as the priority i feel like I can start building my garden around that. I appreciate the advice and perspectives that you are giving to young men like myself.
I'm glad you got some value out of the video. Keep up all of the good work man and welcome to the community, i'll be looking forward to seeing you around more
Beautifully said, man. Really gave me the inspiration to just start somewhere, even if it's not perfect so that I can grow to become the person I want to be. Thank you.
I'm glad to hear you got some value out of the video and i'm looking forward to seeing your growth bro, keep up all of the good work
Your video says the same thing as all the others. Work out, go outside, do things to impove your life. But your words touched me, a comment you made, I was able to see myself in this situation and so for that I think you made a great video.
Some of the best advice ever. But I still have no plan. How to improve my confidence, my communication skill and etc. I'm not bad and not perfect. But it feels like there are so many things to improve. Wish you luck!
Good work! Just the thing, is that when you enter a relationship, you will always have your own problems. Just like her, many women I interacted with still have their own problems. That’s just human nature, we always have imperfections or flaws. Many people enter relationships with broken hearts or problems, and depending how they treat it, they either stay together or break up. I wouldn’t worry about my insecurities when approaching a girl, because I know they have their own too, we aren’t perfect and that’s okay. Of course there’s the narcissists and psychopaths you have to stay away from, but you’ll know the difference between the two and the normal ones
You never want to be told to wait but that’s often times what’s best for us
Remember how we all said the same old reason for breaking up "You deserve someone better"...So, it is now your turn to become "someone better". Keep up the good work brothers and sisters.
Do not be sorry, be better.
I appreciate you saying that man, this will definitely benefit anyone who reads it. Welcome to the community and i'll be looking forward to seeing you around more G
Cope.
I’ve been working on myself physically for about 3-4 years now, I was single that whole time apart from one girl who I had a truly miserable relationship with because I was so insecure and worried about it and made a million mistakes. But I learnt so much about myself and about how to handle my insecurities and emotions and a few months ago I met the most beautiful, loving and kind girl that I ever could have asked for. I was so glad that I was actually ready to accept this amazing girl into my life because I had cultivated that garden and worked on myself and learned from past mistakes to where I’m now securely in love with this perfect girl. Never ever give up on yourself or love, God will send you on the right path when you’re ready 🙏
"Fear can be conquered, anxiety must be endured."
I am nearly 30 and I had to fight a lot of trauma and emotional abuse from the family. If I would ever get a girl, she needs to love me and stay when I am at my lowest. If she cannot do that all the quality and stuff is useless. Therefore she needs to love without the garden. Then it is true love, not this fake love.
True. This true love will strengthen the people to get through the struggles of life together. You need a teammate. You don't need to be a checklist for anyone. What if you struggle and you can't keep your partner's checklist of you as the perfect product running? Will you have a teammate?
@@ChrisRane Yeah, but the woman today want that checklist. This society with all that crap of modern dating made them that way. I am very old school and to me nearly every woman I see thinks this sick. They lost what it means to truly love someone and have no empathy and compassion. As soon as life gets difficult, they run and just want the good times. They love to believe the lie and go with the devil to hell instead of walking with truth, god and realize what the true path is, which everyone went before the stupid pill and protection for sex in the 1960s.
If you read the bible, you know exactly why relationships do not last anymore. The woman refuse to become one flesh with her man and she also refuse to take the duties as a woman and respect her man. In the bible it even states that the woman should not leave her man if they are one flesh (for context marriage happens in the heart and not in church or on paper), but most women do, because the modern dating believe of vanity (sin) kicks in and they monkey branch to a "better" man, but become unhappy in the end, because they did lie to themselves who they truly love.
They are only allowed to have a new man if the present has lived his life, it is stated. Therefore, the man does not choose. He is chosen and if a woman did choose him, but left him, she experiences all the pleasure (sin) in the world afterward but loses intimacy ultimately, and he is cursed and broken for life, never being able to commit this strong has he did with the woman that is actually his flesh.
I am telling you this, because this is my testimony to you. Do not be chosen fast. She has to show you her character, when you are at your worst. If she stays, marry her.
I want us to build OUR garden, not my own where you're a mere guest (and since you haven't invested in it, you'd be okay leaving without a second thought if I ever go through periods where I can't take care of the garden as well as I used to/you find a better garden elsewhere).
You are wrong! I have had traumas from my family as well. you need to heal and be happy with yourself. you can not expect to stay damaged and let the trauma drain you every day and expect another person to fulfill you, thats not how reality works. you will allways stay drained and alone because nobody wants to be with someone that is allways going downwards. Fucking fight and face your trauma. do shadow work, explore your psychie, meditate. be 100% happy alone with just yourself and you will be so magnetic people will come from all places because they want some of your peacefullnes aura. im 32, i lived with traume 32 years, healed a couple of weeks ago and healing was the best descicion in my life.
@@SwjatoslawHD You are not healed at all. It is better to live a truth in pain than to live a lie in happiness. True happiness comes from intimacy and intimacy can only be achieved if you can be vulnerable with one another without judgement, otherwise it ends in hurt again. You can have 1000 of people around you and they will mean nothing to you, because only one girl could give you the love you need to be real. I learned this when I started to walk with god, and started reading the bible. Vanity (in context to self-help, healing and however this is called) is in fact a sin and to accept and acknowledge your pain one another is actually true strength, because at that point you can grow and face reality with your people and you are be able to let go of the wrong people. Your people might not come over night, but they like the real you and most important they will stay.
I'm a lesbian but i also struggle to find the right one. I dont feel insecure, ive worked on myself for years, i work out and make sure i look good. I'm a bit nervous when talking with people i'm interested in and thats normal.
Many of the things you touched upon hit home man. You keep doing what you're doing, I dig it.
I'm glad to hear you got some value G and i appreciate you
I also learned this the hard way, still building the garden, not only for a future girl, but mostly for me!
I had this awakening with the same thought process as this man had spoke of about 2 months ago. I was very depressed about losing my mother. It carried with me for years heavily I stopped being me and being present i was very anti social. It ruined my relationship of 6 years with my gf but I now realize the pain I caused not really dealing with my emotions. I still live with her but her heart has now changed.So I’m improving myself with self love (working out,skincare routine, not downing myself, being present, and not taking time for granted. I appreciate whoever read this it means a lot.
That's some motivation i needed to hear. Thx bro!
Great video. I'm in the same situation rn. But I don't know why I need to remind myself this again and again.
I never thought of building my garden but this makes a lot more sense
You're doing it right. Approaching and interacting with women will build confidence and help with social anxiety. Using dating apps or social media is an option but I've found many of the women are only looking for attention and aren't interested in dating.
Damn right, my man. This video is very accurate and came to me at the right moment. I'm exactly in the point of making my garden and taking action and I feel identified with the background you explained. 10/10, thanks for your words and let's keep up the good work.
I'm glad to hear you got some value out of the video G and yes sir, we'll keep working hard and I have a feeling we'll both make it far in life with that work
Very healthy advice. Thank you! You're doing a great job! It's easy to be hard on oneself but you're actually doing really good with what you said in these video. Keep up, you certainly can!
Of course man and I genuinely appreciate you and the comment
If you feel like you're going through an inner desert, remember you have the power to transform it into a beautiful garden.
Well said brother! Thank you
Letting Go is the only concept you need
Hey, just wanted to say that I really like your take on this. What you described was pretty much my motto four years ago. Now I live together with my girlfriend of 2 years, am close to having my bachelors degree, have a job and a good social life.
I too struggled with gaming addiction and had a period in my life where I did pretty much nothing of value for 3 years. Taking my life seriously and trying to better myself was the best thing for me and I don´t like to imagine where I would be now if I hadn´t turned my life around.
TH-cam often tries to push alphamale and pick-up artist content on my page and I was slowly losing faith that there is anything worth watching for young people struggling with the same issues I did in my teens. So your video as a whole and seeing that the comments weren´t mysoginistic bs was a breath of fresh air!
Brilliant analogy man 👍
Well said my friend! Thank you for this. I really needed it.
Of course man i'm glad you could watch and welcome to the community
That sounds like something Geoff would do 😂. Great video, can’t wait to see you get 10k!
Haha we were both doing doing some of the things together, and it will be soon
dam man, you have no idea how much you helped me. Love.
I’m really glad to hear that, keep up the good work man and welcome to the community
In 2021 as senior at high school I had to change state because of my father's job, and due to covid-19, I could finish my hs online, so I didnt change for one here where I live. This deprived me of making new friends like a normal 17 teenager, at school. And as I have social anxiety, I couldnt just go and talk to people and make new friends out there. The past 3 years have been the most depressive, meaningless and lonely years of my life. Not just about girls, but friendships and bonds at all.
This video really helped me, I will try to apply what you said and make new friends, maybe meet a cool girl, lets see. Thank you.
I’m sorry to hear about that and I believe things will turn around for the better as long as you put in the work. Keep it up man and welcome to the community
literally going through this right now. got off a talking stage and was prioritising getting a girl or that feeling way too much again. Was in a horrible mental state but im slowly now out of it and working on my garden too ✊
Great video man, just continue to do this work, you'll be change a lot of lifes with this, thank you a lot.
I genuinely appreciate you bro and thats my goal. Keep up all of the good work and welcome to the community
Thank you... The character development starts now!
Let’s go man, I’m glad to hear it
Dude u one of the best,what a clip. Let's go
I appreciate you man
Thats confirming things i understood recently, i like the way you're putting it as a ''garden'', thank you ☺
I'm glad to hear you got some value man and keep up the good work
A guy with a perfect hairline, jawline, face features and body, probably an okay job (working under 40h a week) is teaching 4chan users to just go for it, while saying he also had experienced "brief moments of anxiety" while trying to do it.
Pure comedy, keep it going, man
He also got rejected plenty of times, trust me, its a learning curve, not a cheat code unless you're going for the shallowest of women that exist.
Maybe try to listen to his advice instead of being a miserable blackpilled piece of crap that nobody will love or respect.
I agree with you, that's not work with ugly and poors guys
he has all this now, but like he said, before he did nothing to his life, after getting more confident he starting taking care of himself. Thats why his appeareance is way better now, so all you need to do is take care of yourself first
I can relate to your story. I broke up with my first girlfriend a little more than a month ago. Though it was me, who initiated break up, i still was struck by it. It felt, like my life purpose just disappeared with her. Now i understand how much I incorporated her in my life, completely forgetting about myself and about my friends. Though i still struggle with everyday life, i decided to act a bit more active, than i did before. I started walking outside way more often, than i used to do. I started going to the pool every week. It helps me to cope with my feelings a bit. I hope i'll be able to recover from it someday and become a better man.
Love it. So much motivation. So much value.
I'm really glad to hear that man, keep up the good work
Great advice! Thank you Abe Ott.
You’re welcome man and welcome to the community
thank you for this kind message.
You're welcome man, i hope you got some value out of it and welcome to the community
thank you very much, that actually made sense. thank you very much for all your work and content
i'm glad to hear that man and welcome to the community
That’s a one single great video out there, just truth and no other bull shit
I appreciate you man and I hope you got some value out of it. Welcome to the community G
@@AbeOtt waiting for more amazing content brother
I can relate so much to this. Thanks for the video mate, I'm 20 single, never kissed (lmao) and I've never been in a relationship. However in the last years I developed a good shape, got in medical college, I'm studying a lot and I'm trying to be my best version. I still haven't been able to date the girls I wanted but I'm keep going forward. Great video!!
Great job man I’m glad to hear you’re putting in the work. Keep it up and welcome to the community
Thank you for this video, brother. Very insightful knowledge and advice. I appreciate you!
I appreciate you too man and I’m glad to hear you got some value out of the video. Welcome to the community and keep up the good work
I wish more people today would take advantage of your life lessons! You are not only building up a meaningful life for yourself but you are gracious enough to share how you are doing it! Thanks for another great lesson! -N
My pleasure man and it's great to see you again
thats ressonates so much with me bro.. thanks for this video ! it really helped me
I’m glad to hear you got value out of the video man and welcome to the community
I know you probably don't remember me, but I have been watching you since you had 100 subscribers. It is always nice to see a brother thrive. I know you will never give up. God be with you on your journey.
You're a real one and I will never forget that. You're a part of the originals here and I genuinely appreciate you man
It's nice you have a bro that is going with you.
Never give up guys
I appreciate you and i'm glad he's on the journey with me
I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
Of course man I hope you got some value out of this
a great one to find in my recamondation. thanks for your words
Really nice words, i think its exactly right like that. I already do most of that, i try to tell girls they are pretty every time i see one that i find pretty, i work out every day, dont drink, dont smoke, baught an appartment and safe as much money and days of vacation as possible for when that girl comes
Jesus Christ wants a personal relationship with you through the Holy Spirit, not religion and blind faith. You see, we all have sinned and deserve punishment but God saved us from the eternal punishment of our sins by sending His Son Jesus Christ, fullness of God bodily, a perfect, sinless sacrifice to pay the penalty for our sins by shedding His blood on the cross. He died and rose from the dead so that we may have everlasting life. It is all finished and now for you to accept the free gift of grace you must believe from your heart in Jesus Christ, that He paid the price for your sins, that He is risen and alive. Don't trust in your own goodness but transfer your trust to Jesus and follow Him, get to know Him personally. By faith you will receive the Holy Spirit, become born again, know Jesus personally and He will transform your heart and clean you from the inside out. Believe in Him, read the Bible and pray for the Holy Spirit to fill you and change you, obey the Word. Much love and God bless you!
my guy you are a legend and I thank you for your kind words. Mad respect from me bro ❤
I appreciate you G
i am in a sort of a hanging situation, where i both want to upgrade myself and at the same time feeling hopeless that no one will ever come.
This was great bro well done and thanks. ❤️🔥🙏
I hope you got some value out of it man and welcome to the community
thanks man i just needed to hear that.
You delivered you statement and explanation in a such fascinating way!! I knew that stuff before I watched this video, but regardless you are truly amazing, and we all are.
I appreciate you
In today’s society, getting a gf is literally impossible. I’m 25 and still never kissed a girl and will never understand how it’s possible.
Same
Western dating is just toxic AF. Women have such ridiculously high standards for men that so many men are dealing with self confidence, body, and self esteem issues…you shouldn’t have to be a 10 to get with a 6…
wtf is this mentality
You can start by changing your powerpuff girls profile picture
Start building your garden. Lifting weights were my first steps. It not only made me bigger, but opened my eyes to my ambitions and goals. It gave me discipline by staying consistent, which in turn spread to all other aspects of my life.
This makes sense so MUCH!!
I’m glad to hear that man and welcome to the community
This is inspiring in a way because most people would think just because you're a tall good looking dude getting girls should be easy but even a guy like you needs to put in the work.
I had that. I spent 7 years in a relationship. And she was great. She was everything for me. And I didn’t progress. I was like you said. Didn’t build my garden. She wanted me to succeed, but eventually got tired of my failures. I understand I may have fucked it all up. But your video kinda helped me realize that unless I forget about all that self esteem issues and the passivity and take action, I won’t succeed.
That's deep. Thank you for this.
Of course, man, I hope you got some valley out of it
Despite these are well known points, your way of saying that touched my heart. Thank you!
I’m glad to hear that and welcome to the community
Respect for being honest
Awesome advice brother, going to be using this in my life now!
Keep up the great work 😊
I'm glad to hear you got some value out of the video man and welcome to the community
Great video man!
this is the video i was looking for. well done mate your video really inspired me❤
I'm glad to hear you got some value out of it man, keep up all of the good work and welcome to the community
The Same thing happend to me.. more than once actualy, and when she left.. i lost everything.. even my goals, now i try to find something that i could build a garden from, but its realy .. realy hard.. this video actualy has a very good message, keep making things like that.For me Jordan peterson videos helped to find out this truth, but you had put it more.. aproach able i think.
Thank you, that's what I needed.
Im glad to hear you got some value out of this man and welcome to the community
i confirm everything in this video. i like the garden analogy. helps to articulate myself to other people, when this is the topic of the discussion or it is about to happen. build ur own gardens bois. and it will happen naturally
Exactly, i appreciate the comment man and welcome to the community
Thank you for waking me up ill watch your videos everyday to help motivate me to grow my garden
I’m glad you got some value man and welcome to the community. I’ll be looking forward to seeing you around more G
Great video bro, I needed to hear this
I'm glad you got some value out of the video G and welcome to the community
Thank you so much man, for the advice, it's all true, keep going💪
Of course G and will do
Yoo thank you so much for this video. Im 16 and i really needed this message. Thank you, great content. Lots of luck to you, from Portugal :)
I'm really glad you got some value man, keep up the good work and welcome to the community
Wow, it kinda inspired me to change the way i look at it and thanks to this i am going to do more things to "build my garden" thanks for this and maybe i will stay on this channel more to listen more of you. Thank you and i am going to watch rest of your videos
I'm glad to hear you got some value out of this one man and welcome to the community. I'll be looking forward to seeing you around more G
That's a wonderful analogy
Love this video! I'm currently working on myself in regards to speaking to women in daytime I find attractive and giving them a compliment and overall just giving them a good time
I'm glad to hear that man keep up the good work you''re putting in
Remmber that your garden doesn't have to be perfect or even finished yet. And there's more than one way to make a garden. Fill your garden with the things you care about and conitnue to work on it and Trust the process. And hey, every once in a while take a break from working and enjoy the gardnen you've built. Trust in the process! You've got this king 👊!
"Insecurities when it comes to the way that I look" says bro with the face of an angel and the physique of a model. You look good man, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
thanks so much , this is was very needed video
I'm glad to hear you got some value man and welcome to the community
top tier advice bro.
I hope you got some value man and welcome to the community