For those of you who are considering waiting a while in between: we waited until our daughter was 3 to have another, and I’m so glad. The really nice part of waiting for that long is she is physically independent and actually enjoys helping with baby.
@@csgaiao33 That's what I was thinking too! But my baby just started daycare, and please keep in mind that usually the first year in a daycare/kindergarten means a lot of illnesses🙈 and even the normal runny nose thing might be extremely dangerous for a newborn🙈
I can't imagine how it must be to be able to plan the spacing between kids. We suffered with infertility with all of our kids, so planning spacing wasn't a luxury we had. Oddly enough, we ended up with 5 years between our first two and 4.5 years between our second and third--so pretty evenly spaced, even though we started trying 1 year pp with our first and our second. It took 3.5 years with our second and 3 years with our third. Infertility stinks and I wouldn't wish it on anyone and am so happy for everyone here who has been able to plan spacing with your kids
@@racheldodsworth7902 Hugs!!! I'm so sorry you've struggled with infertility as well! Congratulations on your first, though! How exciting and an extra special blessing after infertility
Yep same. 5 years and IVF between our first two and 22 months between the second and soon to be third (who naturally happened). There are no guarantees.
Had 2 kids 16 months apart and everything was healthy. Pregnant again 18 months postpartum and feeling great! People being so judgy of kids close in age was the worst part.
True! I have children 21 months apart (2.5 years and 10 months) and people always say: “Wow, you have your hands full!” And I always laugh. It might look like that but it’s a blast. 💖
True this. I’m expecting my second son and they will be 17 months apart. The judgement from people is really ruining the experience for us I must say. We get looks all the time and comments out in public it’s really upsetting.
@@katea74648I’m really sorry to hear that. Please don’t let others ruin your experience. Their bond will be incredible. I just love watching my daughters play together - they’re interested in the same things being 16 months apart and I hope you enjoy how special it really is! People can be so mean but they’re just miserable with their own lives.
@@katea74648 I’d encourage you to really pour into yourself and your husband and focus on enjoying the family life you’re building, and if someone makes a sly comment, speaking up for yourself in a way that feels right to you will take the edge off. I hate it when I don’t stand up for myself! It feels good to set boundaries, even if with a stranger. Like “We are pretty happy and excited about our lives, thank you. Nobody has to want my life to be this way except me and my partner.” Stay strong! They are unhappy with their own lives and throwing shade your way. Our society is in serious decline.
So many positive comments! My daughter (our only child) is 5. We would like another one, but I don't know how to look after her and work with hyperemesis. We have no issues getting pregnant, it's the actually surviving pregnancy (and the recovery) that prevents us from having another child.
I had a rough VBAC with my second baby which resulted in a complication with my bladder. I wish these rare issues were discussed more often. Commenting for those who’ve had similar experiences!
@@MommyandMelanie my bladder became distended during labor which resulted in complications postpartum. I never got any answers as to why this happened. A lot of hypotheticals which was frustrating
Can I ask why you opted for a VBAC? Did your Dr push you into it or were you just wanting a vaginal birth? I’m really sorry to hear about your complications and I hope you’ve made a recovery ❤❤
I have 5 kiddos. I have an 18 month, 2yr, 2.5yr, and 3yr age gap. The 2.5 and 3 yr age gap was a nice age gap. The 18 month age gap kids are my 4th and 5th so it’s not been terrible. I feel like after 3 it’s not much different. 0-1 is tough because you don’t know what you’re doing. 1-2 is hard because you have to learn how to take care of 2 at one time. Once you’ve learned how to balance 3+ is just along for the ride😂
My two wound up 4 years apart because my husband was finishing his degree and working full time. Make the choice that works best for your family and lifestyle. Mental health is a serious concern if you aren’t prepared to handle more kids.
This was very touching to watch, Tara. You are so inspiring and you have come so far in one year. I am so grateful to have been part of your journey. I remember introducing you to the words “apraxia of speech” - giving a name to the very confusing and irregular speech errors you made. Thank you for speaking at The Stroke Congress! You are a remarkable woman!
I started eating healthier during and after my third baby. In this 4th pregnancy, all my labs (iron, vit. D, etc.) came back better than in any other pregnancy! The first birth-to-birth gap is 1.5 years, the other two gaps are each 2 years. So much of it for me seems to be related to eating a nutrient-dense diet before and during pregnancy and staying active. I love the smaller gaps!
Would also love to hear data on pregnancy after uterine rupture! Had a uterine rupture with my 2nd, BUT they didn’t know that until the c-section! SO SO thankful baby and myself were totally fine. God is good!! 🙌🏻
I had a uterine window not a rupture with my 3rd c section, the doctor knew about it as she opened me. I got pregnant with my third after nine months of my second C-section. After 7 yrs i got pregnant again. My pregnancy was a breeze thank God. Now after 2 yrs of the 4th I'm pregnant again😅3rd, 4th and 5th were not planned I was switching between birth control. Now my obgyn is so chilled. he said don't panic. We're going to treat it as a regular pregnancy but I will have an earlier C-section. I pray I won't have complications or anything happen to the baby Amen🤲🏻
I would also love to hear more of Kurt's point of view, i.e. from the baby no 1. I've heard it is best to wait 3 years after having a baby, so that the child's emotional and psychological development has closed a very important stage!❤
I believe if it were not “healthy” for women God would not permit it to even be possible! I had 3 under 3, also healthy and normal pregnancies. I am now 35 years old.
Love this content!! I am mom of two boys (2 (almost 3) & 5 yrs) I really want baby #3 but hubby wanted to wait and isn’t 100% sure we can handle another. I will be 37 in January and don’t want to wait too much longer. I think he is coming around as life is getting easier. I appreciate hearing your perspectives!! Thank you for all you do! ❤
My daughters are 20 month apart. We waited until the first baby was almost a year old before we started trying again. And to our surprise we got pregnant right away. But both pregnancies were high risk with bedrest and unexpected hospitalization. But we have two healthy babies.
I was so scared with my first child and you guys were my mentors from afar. You gently and calmly walked me through everything to expect and it was like having an older sister. Especially the post birth hospital videos- I cannot describe how much less alone I felt wearing that mesh panty! 😂 I can’t believe you even filmed. What a badass. Anyway we are thinking about having more kids and this video is timely. You guys are doing Gods work. I am sure you’re tired but I promise this is worth so much more than you even know.
Maybe we can do a fun episode about health affects from multiple pregnancies - with some in real life content about our decisions/plans to grow our family.
I was so scared with my first child and you guys were my mentors from afar. You gently and calmly walked me through everything to expect and it was like having an older brother and sister. Especially the post birth hospital videos- I cannot describe how much less alone I felt wearing that mesh panty! 😂 I can’t believe you even filmed. What a badass. Anyway we are thinking about having more kids and this video is timely. You guys are doing Gods work. I am sure you’re tired but I promise this is worth so much more than you even know.
I’m currently pregnant with numbers 6&7 and the largest gap I have between any of my kids is 2 years and 3 months and the smallest gap I have is 22 months. I exclusively breast fed all of them for the first 6 months pp but my cycle always came back 2-3 months after birth.
Thankyou for saying that. I truly believed something was wrong with me, lol. My cycle returns approximately 6-8 weeks postpartum despite exclusive breastfeeding 😢. I only have two lol
I'm excited to be pregnant with my second and that we will have 2 under 2...for about 3 weeks! Not that it will magically get easier when my son turns 2, but it doesn't feel as much like simultaneous babies.
lol we are nearly 7m pp with our third and my husband and I have agreed since 4months pp we’d be okay with getting pregnant again anytime now 😊 I’m hopeful every month! 🎉 I love my kids. My oldest is 4(June baby) 2.5( December baby) and our newborn (May baby)
we’ve just wrapped up 2 under 2 and gosh I loved it! it was definitely challenging at times but I think having them so close together was incredible! they are 15 months apart and are now 13 months and 2.5 years. my birth was so fast and my body recovered so quickly too! good luck! you’ve got this mama x
@@ashleymason0i had my 2nd when my first was 2.5 and it’s been rough. He’s still breastfed so that was an adjustment- and it got way harder to keep behavior in check with proper discipline and follow through on consequences when my hands are always full with the baby so instead of gentle parenting like I’d hoped I’ve ended up failing a lot more
@@ksamadoff congratulations 🎉🎊 I had 2 under 2 and they are now 4&3 with my 6month old. The newborn stage is a little different because my first wasn’t sleeping through the night and still waking up 1-2 times a night. But dad woke up with the toddler and I handled the newborn. As they grow and the baby interacted more with my older it was sooooo cute my son loves his sisters! It was easier when they weren’t playing with the same things and not eating the same foods but as they grow so does their bond. Fights will happen but finding ways to give them their own time alone and with you is helpful. I would play with my son for a solid 5-10 mins before nursing. Baby would be in a safe places then I’d nurse and I’d say things like after I’m done feeding I’ll come back or whatever but as much as I can I’d reframe and not blame the baby. Baby need this or that or no cuz i have the baby. Stuff like that… and I think that helped them. Now with a third it’s great! lol the baby is entertained by the bigs and the bigs are old enough to do so much on their own getting dressed, potty, getting snacks and water, going out back… it’s like having one sometimes all over again
I’m one of those women who breastfeeds and don’t ovulate for a while. I’m almost 15 months postpartum and just had some spotting and I’m waiting to figure out if I could be pregnant or if my period is finally back. We have not been “trying” but not preventing. I always wanted kids 2 years apart but my body seems to have other plans and my son is very committed to nursing lol. I also have a fairly “low” but heathy BMI and I believe that has an effect on my fertility (while breastfeeding - I got pregnant with this BMI). My BMI usually sits around 18.5 (98-100 lbs at 5’1) and I only started getting hints of my cycle coming back after night weaning for 2 months and gaining 5 lbs in a month. I lost the pregnancy weight by 3 months postpartum so I think that was a little fast.
Same boat here! I only got my cycle back 23 months postpartum when I fully completely weaned. Interestingly, similar bmi. Then the first few months, the cycle was pretty wonky and short but finally got pregnant 6 months after fully weaning with meticulous BBT and opk tracking and cuddling that little baby right now!
Same boat here... with my first, it took 11 months to come back, with my second it took 13 months - but hooooooo boy could I tell BOTH times when my body decided to get ready to ovulate that first egg postpartum.
Many women have an anemia after the childbirth that usually left untreated, it’s a good idea to test your iron level before getting pregnant the second time
My mama always wanted kiddos 2 years apart. She also had secondary infertility and after 5 years they gave up and got rid of all of their baby stuff. Got pregnant with my sister year 6! Thought her family was complete. 5.5 years later SURPRISE 🎉- they got pregnant with me 😂. Instead of 2, 2 years apart she got 3 across a 14 year spread hehe!
My pregnancy with my daughter in 2022 was really traumatic for me. I had hyperemesis gravidarum, hypertension, gestational diabetes, severe PGP (was in a wheelchair the last 2 months). It was a lot and i needed time to recover mentally from that. My husband and I knew that we wanted one more relatively close in age. I got pregnant with baby #2 in june 2024 (my daughter turned 2 and a few days later found out I was pregnant). My due date is in February 2025 and my daughter will be 2 years 8 months old when her little brother arrives. I feel good about this age gap and i needed the time to recover.
@melissaharley3237 no because I am on continuous Zofran! I take 4 mg every 7 hours and I throw up maybe once every two weeks now. I'm 24 weeks currently. I didn't take Zofran the first time and I was so so ill. This time when I felt the extreme sickness I knew I had to advocate for myself, I had done more research since my first pregnancy and I knew about Zofran. Got on it at about 5-6 weeks and haven't stopped. I'm still losing weight unfortunately - my appetite is not the greatest but at least I'm not vomiting all the time like I was with my first.
@melissaharley3237 I tried to reply to your comment once before and I think TH-cam removed it because I named a medication. Thankfully I am not suffering near as bad this time around because I got on Z*fran at around 5-6 weeks. I had done a lot more research before getting pregnant the 2nd time especially knowing how much I suffered last time. I am 24+4, I'm still losing weight unfortunately because my appetite is not the best, but I'm only throwing up about every 2 weeks now. The nausea comes and goes throughout the day but it's manageable. I was constantly sick and vomiting with my first so it's a big improvement. I take it every 7 hours on the dot and it has truly been a life saver.
@@melissaharley3237yes but it's been controlled by meds this time! TH-cam keeps removing my replies to you but it starts with Z. It's been a lifesaver. I'm 24+4, still losing weight bc my appetite is not the best but I only throw up once every 2-3 weeks or so. The nausea is manageable. It's a big difference from my first!
Mine are 7 years apart. They get along great. My husband had multiple surgeries. We also had a difficult first experience. The second baby has an easy/slow to warm up temperament.
IVF baby #1 is 19 months old and I am struggling so much with knowing if I'm even wanting a second. Having these embryos waiting for us feels like it's adding so much pressure. You just plan it and go in and hope for success as opposed to trying unassisted and if you get pregnant, you get pregnant. Sometimes I'm feeling like I wish I didn't have embryos to fall back on. Struggling so much with wanting to provide a sibling for my daughter, but having no desire to start the baby thing all over again. 😕
@@kristenneri2424 🥺 praying for you. That sounds like a tough position to be in. I’m an advocate for kids so I’d say just go for it siblings are so great. But it might be nice to have one completely out of diapers before getting into it again. Two in diapers was difficult for a little while. Praying God give you wisdom.
We were blessed with 3 children 2 years apart. They are currently 1.5, 3.5, 5.5 yrs old. This was mainly due to age. I knew I wanted more than 2 babies and I delivered my last baby at 38. I’m now 40 and healthy so I occasionally get that question of am I really done? But I do know our family is blessed and complete. ❤
I had an unexpected C-section with my first baby. He's now 8 months old. I originally wanted 3 or 4 kids close in age, but after having a C-section I'm terrified of the idea of uterine rupture. But also being in my 30s, time is not really on my side (not to mention the possibility of secondary infertility). There's just so much to consider. I constantly go back and forth with what I want to do in regards to growing my family 😕
Omg same! I just turned 30 1 month after my first baby. But I wanted to try for 9months before getting pregnant again. I asked my OBGYN and he told me that 9months is a good time. So I'm just gonna do excersises and eat good food so that by the 9month mark im super healthy and ready (I had him october 2 2024)
Why am i watching this? Im currently 29 weeks pregnant with my second and already wondering if I'll want more in the future lol we have a 5 year old boy and our little girl is due in January and i feel like we should be done but at the same time i kind of like the idea of trying for more, and hoping for twins for a last round hahaaaa i feel crazy
This video comes at absolute perfect timing! Just found out baby #2 is on the way and have a 10 month old at home. I’m interested in how you guys got through those first few days, months, years while also being successful and busy working professionals? Mom! How did you decide to continue pursuing your career? What did you do for childcare? My husband and I have demanding careers but have always wanted to expand our family. Nervous for baby number 2 because we don’t know how we’ll be able to do it. Any insight/advice would be greatly appreciated!
Could you provide a source for the information regarding pre-eclampsia and shorter interval? I of course will also be talking to my own doctor, but that really peaked my interest.
My baby is just about 6 months old and I about had a panic attack when you said you guys started trying after about 6 months. I guess we're not ready for baby number 2 yet 😅
My kids are 19 months apart and I had a vbac! My first baby was breech so thats the only reason for my csection. My midwives told me 18 months between deliveries for a vbac. Both my pregnancies were super easy and I recovered really well. 2 under 2 is rough but I wouldn't have changed it. They are 2.5 and 13 months now.
Wow! Amazing but I'm sure it is a crazy amount of work. Hope you're all doing well and great job being a mom❤❤❤❤ children are such blessings even though I'm sure that's really hard. You've got this 👍
I wanted 2 under 2 but my perioid did not return until I completely stopped breastfeeding. I breastfed my oldest 13 months, got my perioid 14 months. Then we just could not get pregnant, my obgyn checked all of my hormone, did letrozole for 3 months, did not work. We did IUI when our oldest is 2 years old, luckily it worked. Now our second is 3 months, and I want another baby, really debating how long I should breastfeeding. Of course I want give him all the immunity and nutrients, but based on our past experience, it means more waiting for another child.
I needed to see this. Accidentally got pregnant about 5.5 months postpartum and have not been setting myself up for success. Cheap prenatal vitamins, severely undereating cuz I'm just trying to get thru the day and not motivated... I need to take better care of myself. My water broke at 37+3 with my first and due to some uncertainty on dates, I was told it's a possibility if labor starts that early again it could appear to be pre term even if it really isn't - we're just not sure. Was told Id have to get an extra ultrasound in third trimester to make sure everything's going ok.
My sibling is 2.5 years younger than me and I hated it. Mom and dad both worked full time and were in college. We were raised by a revolving door of daycare workers and our parents barely spent any time with us. I will NOT do that to my children.
How could you have had a journey of secondary infertility?!? A 3 month blip at most. We started trying at the 18 month mark like we were supposed to due to my C-section and our child is turning 5 soon and still no baby on the way yet.
Could you maybe speak to the other side of things - ie, wanting to have a longer space between babies? We currently have a 4-month-old, conceived when I was 32 and my husband 33, without difficulty and born vaginally without complications. We want a second child, but we don't think we'll be ready until our first is at least 3 or 4 (and given that secondary infertility is a possibility, it might end up being longer if we wait until then) - what do the data say about waiting?
The data really only starts to show significant medical concern for mom and baby when the gap gets above that 5 year mark. Some of the reason for this is increased maternal age - which carries multiple potential increased risks on its own. There are most certainly some social benefits to having an older child who is a bit more independent when the next baby comes, but you may want to talk to your OB if there are any special reasons for how much waiting might be “too long” for you.
Can you please talk about pregnancy after uterine tear during c section( not uterine rupture during labor)? Couldn’t find any information about the subject and it’s almost impossible to get an appointment with ob here in Canada to ask questions
Currently 25 weeks pregnant with my second 😊 I put an IUD in after my first because I knew I was not mentally ready to go through pregnancy and newborn again yet. Waited until a few months before her second birthday to have it removed. We knew we wanted a sibling for her and didn’t want too big of an age gap, she’ll be about 2 months shy of 3 when her sister is born and I think as they grow up it’ll be a good gap for both them and my own mental health ❤ I am nervous about bringing a newborn home with my toddler and how it’s going to rock her world. She is so used to having 100% of my time as a stay at home mom with her so I know it’ll be hard in the beginning. I’d love a video about getting the first born somewhat prepared for the change
We had three in essentially 3 years (our oldest had turned 3 two months before our third was born). With the first two it was intentional because we wanted them to be close and have a friendship, with the third we had definitely planned on waiting and i got pregnant about a year earlier than what we had wanted. God got us through, and she’s a wonderful girl, actually the easiest baby of the three, but we are only just now coming out of what has felt like complete and utter chaos in the aftermath of her birth and she is now about to turn 3 herself. I can hardly imagine having another now, let alone picture what it would have been like to fit two more in that time-frame. Now though, I’m wishing we could have one more. Problem is, the medical issues I sustained from baby number three mean that a fourth would be a very complicated and expensive birth, which we just can’t cope with right now (financially or psychologically, to be quite honest), but on the other hand if we wait too long they would grow up like an only child, which I know from watching my little brother is so sad when all your siblings are so much older. So, I have a feeling we’re done, but it makes me sad and I can’t quite accept it.
I’m still watching, but in case you don’t mention it, what is the reason waiting longer than 5 years shows more risk? What happens in the body that waiting that long would do that?
@@TheDoctorsBjorkmaninteresting. So for someone like me who had her first baby at 20, waiting until I was 26-27 or even 30 to have another (we didn’t, but suppose we had) likely wouldn’t have mattered as much. As it turned out we decided to go for a 5 year age gap so inter pregnancy interval was about 4.5 years. But it is interesting to think about.
@@kelseybrintnall2080had my first at 29 horrific birth horrific pregnancy. Had second age 34 easiest birth and postpartum ever. All my friends say subsequent births were easier irrespective of age.
I have done both. First 2, are 1 yr apart, and for the 3rd one, they are 3.5 and 4.5 yr apart. Each have its pros and cons. First 2, are 6 and 5 now and play with each other. 21 month old has a hard time getting in there, but only 1 with diaper is good 😂
Curious about the increased risks associated with a > 5 year gap. To what extent are these risks simply related to increased maternal age, versus time from prior pregnancy? Did the studies compare the risk of complications in first versus second (with 5 year gap) pregnancies among women who fall into the same age group?
I'm curious to hear more about why a longer interval more than 5 years is associated with an increased risk of negative outcomes. Is that because people are older? Or because of other problems that caused the longer period?
So thankful you guys are back! Question- for IVF transfer, do you recommend waiting to do a transfer until at least 3 months after stopping breast feeding? Is that a normal recommendation? What about breastfeeding and an IVF retrieval? Thank you!!
We’re waiting until I lose the rest of my pregnancy weight to try for #2 🤣 I don’t want 2 under 2, and my daughter is currently 10 months. So this gives me motivation to get healthy before getting pregnant again 😅
I've been thinking a lot about getting pregnant again. I feel like it's a good time for our family because my daughter is 19 months old now, and I'm well-established at my new job. However, my fear is finding and affording daycare! My daughter's daycare has a 1.5 year long wait list, and we can barely afford her tuition! I will not be upset if we can't have another child, but my mind will always wonder.
I breastfed for 2 years and didn't get my period back until 18 months PP. That's also around the time I felt physically and emotionally ready for another baby. My girls are just under 3 years apart and think that worked out well. Definitely not having any more! Can't get outnumbered 😅
I was so upset that I had an emergency c section with baby #1 because his head got super stuck and I'd always planned on having kids close together so they could be besties but I knew they don't recommend getting pregnant right away after a c section. I read up on the risks, decided the risk having the births 18 months apart was close enough to 24 for me to chance it, and my boys are 17 mo 26 days apart lol (if he'd come on his due date it would have been 18 to the day) (2 under 2 is HARD but I know it will be so so worth it in a year or two, I was/am so close with my sister and we're 20 months apart)
I got pregnant with my second when my first was 7 months old (I didn't know, of course). I realized I was pregnant 4 months into pregnancy while getting an ultrasound. The C-section went way better with my second though... It hasn't been an easy journey with two under two, but I appreciate every moment with them... Even while breastfeeding both babies. No more babies for me 😂
Could you share the new research you quote? I’d like to have it up my sleeve next time I’m criticised for small age gaps ;) (3 under 4yo here and hoping for more !)
I’ve actually never heard the recommendation to wait a set amount of time after giving birth to conceive again which is wild to me because that makes sense!! I had a (mostly) healthy, full-term, non-cesarian twin pregnancy/birth last year. I asked my OB at my 4 week follow-up visit (4 instead of 6 due to minor complications) how long he recommended I wait if I wanted to conceive again soon and he said I was “good to go” if I wanted to start trying again immediately! At 4 weeks postpartum from twins! I wasn’t ready then but that also didn’t sound like best practice to me
Speak with your doctor, but mine always said that as long as my baby wasn’t losing weight then he was fine. Finally he suggested that I cut back on dairy, as some babies have a cow milk allergy. That helped for some time. Other factors include how the baby is latching, and positioning. Hope this helps, I know that this was an old post so probably you’re already on the other side of this
I had 3 children under 3 and my middle child was just as excited to have a baby sister and help with her as my eldest child. They are currently 3, 17 Months and 5 months. All my children were perfectly healthy, each pregnancy (and delivery) were easier and they are 20 months apart and 12 months apart. Don’t feel put off by the studies, if you choose to have your children close together! I personally feel like there are other factors these studies do not consider. Also, if you are a bit older, as I am, the risks of waiting probably outweighs the risks of having them close together (which I personally don’t really believe anyway). My belief is that if it were “not good” for us, it would not be biologically possible! It’s perfectly natural if you ask me and the other huge consideration is that it’s way easier, in my opinion, raising children who are close in age and who learn from one another. The second and third are developing so fast and I only have to teach my eldest and the other two watch and follow - the most natural thing in the world!
My daughter is 19 months now, and I am finally wanting another (I was surprised I didn't want one 6 months ago, but motherhood was just too hard)! We're not ready to jump on trying right away, ideally we want to buy our own place first, but hunting could take months, and so could babymaking (took us 6 months to conceive our daughter), so I'd probably like to start trying before she turns 2. I learned a lot from your video, I think all I've heard was 1 year from my doctor, since I had a C-section.
I'm 42 with a toddler of nearly 2. I don't know if I'll be too old to have a second by the time we've got the energy and finances to do it again, babies are exhausting and expensive!
What about when you have a stillbirth and want to get pregnant again asap 😢 Is it going to ruin your body to have back to back pregnancies (such as getting pregnant 2-3 months after birth)?
We have a 7 month old and I’m not sure when is the right time. I want them close together so they can grow together and play but financially I’m terrified. Also we have no support system so child care is really hard to come by which is tough since my husband and I both work. Not to mention I had a bit of a traumatizing birth so I’m scared to go through that’s agin. It’s quite frustrating because I want baby no 2 so bad!
I had HELLP Syndrome with my first pregnancy, and I'd love any data input on this. My daughter was born at 36 weeks and did well, and thankfully, my blood pressure and liver enzymes returned to normal a few days after giving birth. I've seen a lot of conflicting data on HELLP: how long to wait, the likelyhood of reoccurrence, miscarriage, and increased severity. It makes me very apprehensive to try for a second, even though I really want to have another baby. My daughter is currently 14 months old. It's hard not to feel discouraged.
Getting pregnant as early as 6 months after the first delivery does not put in risk breastfeeding? Because with pregnancy your milk supply decreases a lot
I'm having a next baby 23 years later ...I will be 43 when this baby is born. It's a natural pregnancy after my husband's vasectomy was reversed...I'm healthy,but tired. I don't know if I have time to wait after this one is born (being this old ) to have another child which we do want..if I was younger I could wait. But running out of time in life
That is so interesting about pre-eclampsia! I had PE with my first. Emergency c section at 33 weeks gestation. Got pregnant at 15 months post partum and SO many people said i was taking huge risks with uterine rupture etc. PE was my biggest worry because it had caused all the other issues with my first pregnancy. Had a lovely, unmedicated VBAC at home, attended by midwives, and now a happy mum of 2 boys ❤ Had no idea the short gap might have reduced my pre-eclamsia risk which contributed to the amazing experience i had birthing my second baby!
Thank you for this video - could you please clarify for the LAM method: do periods only resume after 6 months because the intervals between feeds lengthen? Or can exclusive breastfeeding every 4 hours after 6 months provide the same protection?
Every mom is different. My 16 month old eats mostly solid foods but still nurses frequently. My periods haven’t resumed and we are well past the 6 month mark. It depends! Though I think “officially,” doctors say LAM stops being effective around 6 months because it’s easy for moms to lose track of feedings and think they are nursing baby more than they actually are. That could result in some unplanned pregnancies.
Personal experience: it definitely helps! I'm a PT myself and had my second a few months ago--the DR from #1 took about a year to heal since it was so wide and I had some muscle-intenstine adhesions. "Healing" just means getting the width down to about 1 finger width and depth, plus not having back pain when lifting your older child.
Is there any data on periods for working moms who pump and work? I feel like my period came back faster when I was working, vs being a stay at home mom and nursing on demand.
Im 42 & pregnant with my 3rd. First 2 with first marriage. My boys are 23 & 20 years old. So theres a 20 year gap between this one:) now with my current partner & us wanting nore kids after this one. I know i dont have much time to wait. All the fun things that come with getting older 😭
For those of you who are considering waiting a while in between: we waited until our daughter was 3 to have another, and I’m so glad. The really nice part of waiting for that long is she is physically independent and actually enjoys helping with baby.
This is a great reason for many to wait, especially if you’re only planning to have 2 kids, or you got a relatively early start!
I'm planning on doing the same thing! This way the oldest is off to kindergarten and I can have more time for the newborn.
I have six kids and they are all spaced 4-7 years apart! It have me time with each and time to get ready for another.
We're waiting until 3 too! Hopefully it works out.
@@csgaiao33 That's what I was thinking too! But my baby just started daycare, and please keep in mind that usually the first year in a daycare/kindergarten means a lot of illnesses🙈 and even the normal runny nose thing might be extremely dangerous for a newborn🙈
I can't imagine how it must be to be able to plan the spacing between kids. We suffered with infertility with all of our kids, so planning spacing wasn't a luxury we had. Oddly enough, we ended up with 5 years between our first two and 4.5 years between our second and third--so pretty evenly spaced, even though we started trying 1 year pp with our first and our second. It took 3.5 years with our second and 3 years with our third. Infertility stinks and I wouldn't wish it on anyone and am so happy for everyone here who has been able to plan spacing with your kids
Same, and I'm 8 months with my first at 35! If she's getting a sibling, I can't wait long.
@@racheldodsworth7902 Hugs!!! I'm so sorry you've struggled with infertility as well! Congratulations on your first, though! How exciting and an extra special blessing after infertility
Yep same. 5 years and IVF between our first two and 22 months between the second and soon to be third (who naturally happened). There are no guarantees.
Had 2 kids 16 months apart and everything was healthy. Pregnant again 18 months postpartum and feeling great! People being so judgy of kids close in age was the worst part.
True! I have children 21 months apart (2.5 years and 10 months) and people always say: “Wow, you have your hands full!” And I always laugh. It might look like that but it’s a blast. 💖
I am 5 months pregnant with a 12 almost 13 month old. I'm loving it!
True this. I’m expecting my second son and they will be 17 months apart. The judgement from people is really ruining the experience for us I must say. We get looks all the time and comments out in public it’s really upsetting.
@@katea74648I’m really sorry to hear that. Please don’t let others ruin your experience. Their bond will be incredible. I just love watching my daughters play together - they’re interested in the same things being 16 months apart and I hope you enjoy how special it really is! People can be so mean but they’re just miserable with their own lives.
@@katea74648 I’d encourage you to really pour into yourself and your husband and focus on enjoying the family life you’re building, and if someone makes a sly comment, speaking up for yourself in a way that feels right to you will take the edge off. I hate it when I don’t stand up for myself! It feels good to set boundaries, even if with a stranger. Like “We are pretty happy and excited about our lives, thank you. Nobody has to want my life to be this way except me and my partner.” Stay strong! They are unhappy with their own lives and throwing shade your way. Our society is in serious decline.
So many positive comments! My daughter (our only child) is 5. We would like another one, but I don't know how to look after her and work with hyperemesis. We have no issues getting pregnant, it's the actually surviving pregnancy (and the recovery) that prevents us from having another child.
Oh gosh I can't imagine. I'm so sorry!
I had a rough VBAC with my second baby which resulted in a complication with my bladder. I wish these rare issues were discussed more often. Commenting for those who’ve had similar experiences!
Happened with my first birth! Thank you for bringing light to this.
Hope you are ok now@k.pep.1253
What happened with your bladder?
@@MommyandMelanie my bladder became distended during labor which resulted in complications postpartum. I never got any answers as to why this happened. A lot of hypotheticals which was frustrating
Can I ask why you opted for a VBAC? Did your Dr push you into it or were you just wanting a vaginal birth? I’m really sorry to hear about your complications and I hope you’ve made a recovery ❤❤
I have 5 kiddos. I have an 18 month, 2yr, 2.5yr, and 3yr age gap. The 2.5 and 3 yr age gap was a nice age gap. The 18 month age gap kids are my 4th and 5th so it’s not been terrible. I feel like after 3 it’s not much different. 0-1 is tough because you don’t know what you’re doing. 1-2 is hard because you have to learn how to take care of 2 at one time. Once you’ve learned how to balance 3+ is just along for the ride😂
My two wound up 4 years apart because my husband was finishing his degree and working full time. Make the choice that works best for your family and lifestyle. Mental health is a serious concern if you aren’t prepared to handle more kids.
My first 2 are only 15 months apart. It was really hard at first, but now they are best friends. They are both healthy and smart!
This was very touching to watch, Tara. You are so inspiring and you have come so far in one year. I am so grateful to have been part of your journey. I remember introducing you to the words “apraxia of speech” - giving a name to the very confusing and irregular speech errors you made. Thank you for speaking at The Stroke Congress! You are a remarkable woman!
I started eating healthier during and after my third baby. In this 4th pregnancy, all my labs (iron, vit. D, etc.) came back better than in any other pregnancy! The first birth-to-birth gap is 1.5 years, the other two gaps are each 2 years. So much of it for me seems to be related to eating a nutrient-dense diet before and during pregnancy and staying active. I love the smaller gaps!
Would also love to hear data on pregnancy after uterine rupture! Had a uterine rupture with my 2nd, BUT they didn’t know that until the c-section! SO SO thankful baby and myself were totally fine. God is good!! 🙌🏻
@@Chantelle456 Wow that must have been so scary for you all!! I am so glad you are both okay! 💗
God is good! Glad you and baby are well!
I had a uterine window not a rupture with my 3rd c section, the doctor knew about it as she opened me. I got pregnant with my third after nine months of my second C-section. After 7 yrs i got pregnant again. My pregnancy was a breeze thank God. Now after 2 yrs of the 4th I'm pregnant again😅3rd, 4th and 5th were not planned I was switching between birth control. Now my obgyn is so chilled. he said don't panic. We're going to treat it as a regular pregnancy but I will have an earlier C-section.
I pray I won't have complications or anything happen to the baby Amen🤲🏻
It’s crazy but most uterine ruptures are actually NOT catastrophic 😊
@@lnbth625 That’s great to hear! I don’t know the statistics, but my friend’s baby passed due to uterine rupture. It was tragic.
I would also love to hear more of Kurt's point of view, i.e. from the baby no 1. I've heard it is best to wait 3 years after having a baby, so that the child's emotional and psychological development has closed a very important stage!❤
I had all 4 of my kids within 4 years…c-sections, too 😳 Praise God all pregnancies and deliveries were healthy!
that's amazing
Your OB must have been sweating!
I believe if it were not “healthy” for women God would not permit it to even be possible! I had 3 under 3, also healthy and normal pregnancies. I am now 35 years old.
@ I urge you to google ‘naturalistic fallacy’ and reconsider.
Love this content!! I am mom of two boys (2 (almost 3) & 5 yrs) I really want baby #3 but hubby wanted to wait and isn’t 100% sure we can handle another. I will be 37 in January and don’t want to wait too much longer. I think he is coming around as life is getting easier. I appreciate hearing your perspectives!! Thank you for all you do! ❤
After 35 it becomes harder to get pregnant so it might take a few months when you start trying.
My daughters are 20 month apart. We waited until the first baby was almost a year old before we started trying again. And to our surprise we got pregnant right away. But both pregnancies were high risk with bedrest and unexpected hospitalization. But we have two healthy babies.
I was so scared with my first child and you guys were my mentors from afar. You gently and calmly walked me through everything to expect and it was like having an older sister. Especially the post birth hospital videos- I cannot describe how much less alone I felt wearing that mesh panty! 😂 I can’t believe you even filmed. What a badass. Anyway we are thinking about having more kids and this video is timely. You guys are doing Gods work. I am sure you’re tired but I promise this is worth so much more than you even know.
my first was IUGR less than 1% when born, I got pregnant again when she was 10 months, this baby is growing so much better- 70%!
I would love the hear more about your experience/challenges with trying for baby #2. Looking forward to the next video!
Maybe we can do a fun episode about health affects from multiple pregnancies - with some in real life content about our decisions/plans to grow our family.
Perfect timing! Planning to go off birth control for baby #2 today!
Good luck!!
I was so scared with my first child and you guys were my mentors from afar. You gently and calmly walked me through everything to expect and it was like having an older brother and sister. Especially the post birth hospital videos- I cannot describe how much less alone I felt wearing that mesh panty! 😂 I can’t believe you even filmed. What a badass. Anyway we are thinking about having more kids and this video is timely. You guys are doing Gods work. I am sure you’re tired but I promise this is worth so much more than you even know.
I’m currently pregnant with numbers 6&7 and the largest gap I have between any of my kids is 2 years and 3 months and the smallest gap I have is 22 months. I exclusively breast fed all of them for the first 6 months pp but my cycle always came back 2-3 months after birth.
Thankyou for saying that. I truly believed something was wrong with me, lol. My cycle returns approximately 6-8 weeks postpartum despite exclusive breastfeeding 😢. I only have two lol
Baby #2 (Boy this time around) is on His way in around 3 months.
Two under 2, let's GO!
It’s a trip. There are many challenges but also so many amazing interactions with this close age gap. Good luck and congrats!!!
@TheDoctorsBjorkman thank you so much for your comment. We'll be sure to watch your videos if we need some advice. Cheers.
I'm excited to be pregnant with my second and that we will have 2 under 2...for about 3 weeks! Not that it will magically get easier when my son turns 2, but it doesn't feel as much like simultaneous babies.
@@TheDoctorsBjorkmancan you guys please make a video about the challenges
Clicked on this so fast! We have a 7 mo old and are trying for no 2 currently 😅
lol we are nearly 7m pp with our third and my husband and I have agreed since 4months pp we’d be okay with getting pregnant again anytime now 😊 I’m hopeful every month! 🎉 I love my kids. My oldest is 4(June baby) 2.5( December baby) and our newborn (May baby)
Sweet! Hit the 🎯 with 18-24 months. I had no idea that was the recommendation 😅
Currently pregnant and will have 2 under 2 😅 can we please have a video on tips and tricks/surviving and thriving with 2 under 2?❤
we’ve just wrapped up 2 under 2 and gosh I loved it! it was definitely challenging at times but I think having them so close together was incredible! they are 15 months apart and are now 13 months and 2.5 years. my birth was so fast and my body recovered so quickly too! good luck! you’ve got this mama x
@@ashleymason0i had my 2nd when my first was 2.5 and it’s been rough. He’s still breastfed so that was an adjustment- and it got way harder to keep behavior in check with proper discipline and follow through on consequences when my hands are always full with the baby so instead of gentle parenting like I’d hoped I’ve ended up failing a lot more
@@ksamadoff congratulations 🎉🎊
I had 2 under 2 and they are now 4&3 with my 6month old. The newborn stage is a little different because my first wasn’t sleeping through the night and still waking up 1-2 times a night. But dad woke up with the toddler and I handled the newborn. As they grow and the baby interacted more with my older it was sooooo cute my son loves his sisters! It was easier when they weren’t playing with the same things and not eating the same foods but as they grow so does their bond. Fights will happen but finding ways to give them their own time alone and with you is helpful.
I would play with my son for a solid 5-10 mins before nursing. Baby would be in a safe places then I’d nurse and I’d say things like after I’m done feeding I’ll come back or whatever but as much as I can I’d reframe and not blame the baby. Baby need this or that or no cuz i have the baby. Stuff like that… and I think that helped them. Now with a third it’s great! lol the baby is entertained by the bigs and the bigs are old enough to do so much on their own getting dressed, potty, getting snacks and water, going out back… it’s like having one sometimes all over again
I’m one of those women who breastfeeds and don’t ovulate for a while. I’m almost 15 months postpartum and just had some spotting and I’m waiting to figure out if I could be pregnant or if my period is finally back. We have not been “trying” but not preventing. I always wanted kids 2 years apart but my body seems to have other plans and my son is very committed to nursing lol.
I also have a fairly “low” but heathy BMI and I believe that has an effect on my fertility (while breastfeeding - I got pregnant with this BMI). My BMI usually sits around 18.5 (98-100 lbs at 5’1) and I only started getting hints of my cycle coming back after night weaning for 2 months and gaining 5 lbs in a month. I lost the pregnancy weight by 3 months postpartum so I think that was a little fast.
Same boat here! I only got my cycle back 23 months postpartum when I fully completely weaned. Interestingly, similar bmi. Then the first few months, the cycle was pretty wonky and short but finally got pregnant 6 months after fully weaning with meticulous BBT and opk tracking and cuddling that little baby right now!
Same boat here... with my first, it took 11 months to come back, with my second it took 13 months - but hooooooo boy could I tell BOTH times when my body decided to get ready to ovulate that first egg postpartum.
Many women have an anemia after the childbirth that usually left untreated, it’s a good idea to test your iron level before getting pregnant the second time
My mama always wanted kiddos 2 years apart. She also had secondary infertility and after 5 years they gave up and got rid of all of their baby stuff. Got pregnant with my sister year 6! Thought her family was complete. 5.5 years later SURPRISE 🎉- they got pregnant with me 😂. Instead of 2, 2 years apart she got 3 across a 14 year spread hehe!
My pregnancy with my daughter in 2022 was really traumatic for me. I had hyperemesis gravidarum, hypertension, gestational diabetes, severe PGP (was in a wheelchair the last 2 months). It was a lot and i needed time to recover mentally from that. My husband and I knew that we wanted one more relatively close in age. I got pregnant with baby #2 in june 2024 (my daughter turned 2 and a few days later found out I was pregnant). My due date is in February 2025 and my daughter will be 2 years 8 months old when her little brother arrives. I feel good about this age gap and i needed the time to recover.
Have you had HG this time around with baby boy?
@melissaharley3237 no because I am on continuous Zofran! I take 4 mg every 7 hours and I throw up maybe once every two weeks now. I'm 24 weeks currently. I didn't take Zofran the first time and I was so so ill. This time when I felt the extreme sickness I knew I had to advocate for myself, I had done more research since my first pregnancy and I knew about Zofran. Got on it at about 5-6 weeks and haven't stopped. I'm still losing weight unfortunately - my appetite is not the greatest but at least I'm not vomiting all the time like I was with my first.
@melissaharley3237 I tried to reply to your comment once before and I think TH-cam removed it because I named a medication. Thankfully I am not suffering near as bad this time around because I got on Z*fran at around 5-6 weeks. I had done a lot more research before getting pregnant the 2nd time especially knowing how much I suffered last time. I am 24+4, I'm still losing weight unfortunately because my appetite is not the best, but I'm only throwing up about every 2 weeks now. The nausea comes and goes throughout the day but it's manageable. I was constantly sick and vomiting with my first so it's a big improvement. I take it every 7 hours on the dot and it has truly been a life saver.
@@melissaharley3237yes but it's been controlled by meds this time! TH-cam keeps removing my replies to you but it starts with Z. It's been a lifesaver. I'm 24+4, still losing weight bc my appetite is not the best but I only throw up once every 2-3 weeks or so. The nausea is manageable. It's a big difference from my first!
@@melissaharley3237 it's been medication controlled for the most part thankfully!
Mine are 7 years apart. They get along great. My husband had multiple surgeries. We also had a difficult first experience. The second baby has an easy/slow to warm up temperament.
IVF baby #1 is 19 months old and I am struggling so much with knowing if I'm even wanting a second. Having these embryos waiting for us feels like it's adding so much pressure. You just plan it and go in and hope for success as opposed to trying unassisted and if you get pregnant, you get pregnant. Sometimes I'm feeling like I wish I didn't have embryos to fall back on. Struggling so much with wanting to provide a sibling for my daughter, but having no desire to start the baby thing all over again. 😕
@@kristenneri2424 🥺 praying for you. That sounds like a tough position to be in. I’m an advocate for kids so I’d say just go for it siblings are so great. But it might be nice to have one completely out of diapers before getting into it again. Two in diapers was difficult for a little while. Praying God give you wisdom.
The ending was my favorite part. 😂 The interruption and Cec wondering why y'all were wearing lab coats and scrubs. 😂
We loved it too, and just had to include for you! 🥰
Awww…. this is perfect timing for me. I just got off my birth control this month and now trying. ❤
Good luck!!
I have a friend who has 2 girls 9 months apart. She also has a son who is in high school. Watching her life happen on Facebook is wild!
Had my first one two and half years ago. If I got asked when i am having the second one, i'd roll my eyes and say never😂😂😂
We were blessed with 3 children 2 years apart. They are currently 1.5, 3.5, 5.5 yrs old. This was mainly due to age. I knew I wanted more than 2 babies and I delivered my last baby at 38. I’m now 40 and healthy so I occasionally get that question of am I really done? But I do know our family is blessed and complete. ❤
I had an unexpected C-section with my first baby. He's now 8 months old. I originally wanted 3 or 4 kids close in age, but after having a C-section I'm terrified of the idea of uterine rupture. But also being in my 30s, time is not really on my side (not to mention the possibility of secondary infertility). There's just so much to consider. I constantly go back and forth with what I want to do in regards to growing my family 😕
Mee too girl, i am also having the same thoughts
@@saymashaikh6933 it's so tough 😞
Omg same! I just turned 30 1 month after my first baby. But I wanted to try for 9months before getting pregnant again. I asked my OBGYN and he told me that 9months is a good time. So I'm just gonna do excersises and eat good food so that by the 9month mark im super healthy and ready (I had him october 2 2024)
Why am i watching this? Im currently 29 weeks pregnant with my second and already wondering if I'll want more in the future lol we have a 5 year old boy and our little girl is due in January and i feel like we should be done but at the same time i kind of like the idea of trying for more, and hoping for twins for a last round hahaaaa i feel crazy
This video comes at absolute perfect timing!
Just found out baby #2 is on the way and have a 10 month old at home. I’m interested in how you guys got through those first few days, months, years while also being successful and busy working professionals?
Mom! How did you decide to continue pursuing your career? What did you do for childcare? My husband and I have demanding careers but have always wanted to expand our family. Nervous for baby number 2 because we don’t know how we’ll be able to do it. Any insight/advice would be greatly appreciated!
Could you provide a source for the information regarding pre-eclampsia and shorter interval? I of course will also be talking to my own doctor, but that really peaked my interest.
This video is so informative! Thank you for sharing this valuable information - it’s sure to be helpful for many families! 😊
My baby is just about 6 months old and I about had a panic attack when you said you guys started trying after about 6 months. I guess we're not ready for baby number 2 yet 😅
Me too! Mine is 16 months and when people say they are expecting second this early I'm like "they're crazy or it wasn't planned 😂😂
Love your videos! Wish all drs were as helpful as you two are. What I would give to have you as my doctors!!
Thank you! This gives us confidence!
Could you make a video about the difference in age and how that affects sibling relationships? Curious how this goes for children 😊
My kids are 19 months apart and I had a vbac! My first baby was breech so thats the only reason for my csection. My midwives told me 18 months between deliveries for a vbac. Both my pregnancies were super easy and I recovered really well. 2 under 2 is rough but I wouldn't have changed it. They are 2.5 and 13 months now.
I have 3 under 2 😅 twin girls ,then another girl 21 months later.
Wow! Amazing but I'm sure it is a crazy amount of work. Hope you're all doing well and great job being a mom❤❤❤❤ children are such blessings even though I'm sure that's really hard. You've got this 👍
I wanted 2 under 2 but my perioid did not return until I completely stopped breastfeeding. I breastfed my oldest 13 months, got my perioid 14 months. Then we just could not get pregnant, my obgyn checked all of my hormone, did letrozole for 3 months, did not work. We did IUI when our oldest is 2 years old, luckily it worked. Now our second is 3 months, and I want another baby, really debating how long I should breastfeeding. Of course I want give him all the immunity and nutrients, but based on our past experience, it means more waiting for another child.
Just had my baby 10 days ago and I already want another one lol 😂
Thank you for this video and the cute blooper! 😊🥰 You guys are amazing. 💪
I would love to read the article about the time period to wait for pre-eclampsia moms
I needed to see this. Accidentally got pregnant about 5.5 months postpartum and have not been setting myself up for success. Cheap prenatal vitamins, severely undereating cuz I'm just trying to get thru the day and not motivated... I need to take better care of myself. My water broke at 37+3 with my first and due to some uncertainty on dates, I was told it's a possibility if labor starts that early again it could appear to be pre term even if it really isn't - we're just not sure. Was told Id have to get an extra ultrasound in third trimester to make sure everything's going ok.
My sibling is 2.5 years younger than me and I hated it. Mom and dad both worked full time and were in college. We were raised by a revolving door of daycare workers and our parents barely spent any time with us. I will NOT do that to my children.
How could you have had a journey of secondary infertility?!? A 3 month blip at most. We started trying at the 18 month mark like we were supposed to due to my C-section and our child is turning 5 soon and still no baby on the way yet.
Try the book it starts with the egg, worked for me 2 years post miscarriage
Could you maybe speak to the other side of things - ie, wanting to have a longer space between babies? We currently have a 4-month-old, conceived when I was 32 and my husband 33, without difficulty and born vaginally without complications. We want a second child, but we don't think we'll be ready until our first is at least 3 or 4 (and given that secondary infertility is a possibility, it might end up being longer if we wait until then) - what do the data say about waiting?
The data really only starts to show significant medical concern for mom and baby when the gap gets above that 5 year mark. Some of the reason for this is increased maternal age - which carries multiple potential increased risks on its own. There are most certainly some social benefits to having an older child who is a bit more independent when the next baby comes, but you may want to talk to your OB if there are any special reasons for how much waiting might be “too long” for you.
@@TheDoctorsBjorkman Thanks so much for your reply!
Can you please talk about pregnancy after uterine tear during c section( not uterine rupture during labor)? Couldn’t find any information about the subject and it’s almost impossible to get an appointment with ob here in Canada to ask questions
Are the increased risks after 5 years related to maternal age?
Currently 25 weeks pregnant with my second 😊 I put an IUD in after my first because I knew I was not mentally ready to go through pregnancy and newborn again yet. Waited until a few months before her second birthday to have it removed. We knew we wanted a sibling for her and didn’t want too big of an age gap, she’ll be about 2 months shy of 3 when her sister is born and I think as they grow up it’ll be a good gap for both them and my own mental health ❤
I am nervous about bringing a newborn home with my toddler and how it’s going to rock her world. She is so used to having 100% of my time as a stay at home mom with her so I know it’ll be hard in the beginning. I’d love a video about getting the first born somewhat prepared for the change
We had three in essentially 3 years (our oldest had turned 3 two months before our third was born). With the first two it was intentional because we wanted them to be close and have a friendship, with the third we had definitely planned on waiting and i got pregnant about a year earlier than what we had wanted. God got us through, and she’s a wonderful girl, actually the easiest baby of the three, but we are only just now coming out of what has felt like complete and utter chaos in the aftermath of her birth and she is now about to turn 3 herself. I can hardly imagine having another now, let alone picture what it would have been like to fit two more in that time-frame.
Now though, I’m wishing we could have one more. Problem is, the medical issues I sustained from baby number three mean that a fourth would be a very complicated and expensive birth, which we just can’t cope with right now (financially or psychologically, to be quite honest), but on the other hand if we wait too long they would grow up like an only child, which I know from watching my little brother is so sad when all your siblings are so much older. So, I have a feeling we’re done, but it makes me sad and I can’t quite accept it.
I’m still watching, but in case you don’t mention it, what is the reason waiting longer than 5 years shows more risk? What happens in the body that waiting that long would do that?
I'm guessing increased maternal age. A 35 year old giving birth is going to have better outcomes than 40 year old.
Advanced maternal age gap is likely the major driver strongly correlated with the negative data for mom and baby.
@@TheDoctorsBjorkmaninteresting. So for someone like me who had her first baby at 20, waiting until I was 26-27 or even 30 to have another (we didn’t, but suppose we had) likely wouldn’t have mattered as much.
As it turned out we decided to go for a 5 year age gap so inter pregnancy interval was about 4.5 years. But it is interesting to think about.
@@kelseybrintnall2080had my first at 29 horrific birth horrific pregnancy. Had second age 34 easiest birth and postpartum ever. All my friends say subsequent births were easier irrespective of age.
I have done both. First 2, are 1 yr apart, and for the 3rd one, they are 3.5 and 4.5 yr apart. Each have its pros and cons. First 2, are 6 and 5 now and play with each other. 21 month old has a hard time getting in there, but only 1 with diaper is good 😂
Curious about the increased risks associated with a > 5 year gap. To what extent are these risks simply related to increased maternal age, versus time from prior pregnancy? Did the studies compare the risk of complications in first versus second (with 5 year gap) pregnancies among women who fall into the same age group?
I'm curious to hear more about why a longer interval more than 5 years is associated with an increased risk of negative outcomes. Is that because people are older? Or because of other problems that caused the longer period?
So thankful you guys are back!
Question- for IVF transfer, do you recommend waiting to do a transfer until at least 3 months after stopping breast feeding? Is that a normal recommendation? What about breastfeeding and an IVF retrieval? Thank you!!
how to decide to go from 1 to 2. what questions to consider
We’re waiting until I lose the rest of my pregnancy weight to try for #2 🤣 I don’t want 2 under 2, and my daughter is currently 10 months. So this gives me motivation to get healthy before getting pregnant again 😅
I've been thinking a lot about getting pregnant again. I feel like it's a good time for our family because my daughter is 19 months old now, and I'm well-established at my new job. However, my fear is finding and affording daycare! My daughter's daycare has a 1.5 year long wait list, and we can barely afford her tuition! I will not be upset if we can't have another child, but my mind will always wonder.
Why are risks increases after 5 years?
What birth control methods are best for breastfeeding mommas? Or how do common contraceptives affect postpartum?
I breastfed for 2 years and didn't get my period back until 18 months PP. That's also around the time I felt physically and emotionally ready for another baby. My girls are just under 3 years apart and think that worked out well. Definitely not having any more! Can't get outnumbered 😅
I was so upset that I had an emergency c section with baby #1 because his head got super stuck and I'd always planned on having kids close together so they could be besties but I knew they don't recommend getting pregnant right away after a c section. I read up on the risks, decided the risk having the births 18 months apart was close enough to 24 for me to chance it, and my boys are 17 mo 26 days apart lol (if he'd come on his due date it would have been 18 to the day)
(2 under 2 is HARD but I know it will be so so worth it in a year or two, I was/am so close with my sister and we're 20 months apart)
I got pregnant with my second when my first was 7 months old (I didn't know, of course). I realized I was pregnant 4 months into pregnancy while getting an ultrasound. The C-section went way better with my second though... It hasn't been an easy journey with two under two, but I appreciate every moment with them... Even while breastfeeding both babies. No more babies for me 😂
Could you share the new research you quote? I’d like to have it up my sleeve next time I’m criticised for small age gaps ;) (3 under 4yo here and hoping for more !)
I’ve actually never heard the recommendation to wait a set amount of time after giving birth to conceive again which is wild to me because that makes sense!! I had a (mostly) healthy, full-term, non-cesarian twin pregnancy/birth last year. I asked my OB at my 4 week follow-up visit (4 instead of 6 due to minor complications) how long he recommended I wait if I wanted to conceive again soon and he said I was “good to go” if I wanted to start trying again immediately! At 4 weeks postpartum from twins! I wasn’t ready then but that also didn’t sound like best practice to me
Can you do a video talk about when baby is drinking and they are spitting up and what to do. Your video is really helpful to a new mom. Thank you
Speak with your doctor, but mine always said that as long as my baby wasn’t losing weight then he was fine. Finally he suggested that I cut back on dairy, as some babies have a cow milk allergy. That helped for some time. Other factors include how the baby is latching, and positioning. Hope this helps, I know that this was an old post so probably you’re already on the other side of this
I had 3 children under 3 and my middle child was just as excited to have a baby sister and help with her as my eldest child. They are currently 3, 17 Months and 5 months. All my children were perfectly healthy, each pregnancy (and delivery) were easier and they are 20 months apart and 12 months apart. Don’t feel put off by the studies, if you choose to have your children close together! I personally feel like there are other factors these studies do not consider. Also, if you are a bit older, as I am, the risks of waiting probably outweighs the risks of having them close together (which I personally don’t really believe anyway). My belief is that if it were “not good” for us, it would not be biologically possible! It’s perfectly natural if you ask me and the other huge consideration is that it’s way easier, in my opinion, raising children who are close in age and who learn from one another. The second and third are developing so fast and I only have to teach my eldest and the other two watch and follow - the most natural thing in the world!
My daughter is 19 months now, and I am finally wanting another (I was surprised I didn't want one 6 months ago, but motherhood was just too hard)! We're not ready to jump on trying right away, ideally we want to buy our own place first, but hunting could take months, and so could babymaking (took us 6 months to conceive our daughter), so I'd probably like to start trying before she turns 2. I learned a lot from your video, I think all I've heard was 1 year from my doctor, since I had a C-section.
Is there anytwe can do to make our bodies ready sooner?
I'm 42 with a toddler of nearly 2. I don't know if I'll be too old to have a second by the time we've got the energy and finances to do it again, babies are exhausting and expensive!
I watched the whole video, I thought you guys were going to talk about if you were considering baby #3???
Our daughter turns 2 in January and I'm due with our second one end of May. I think it's kind of perfect
Good luck! There are always challenges, but this does sound like perfect timing- especially if it’s the right time for you!
What about when you have a stillbirth and want to get pregnant again asap 😢 Is it going to ruin your body to have back to back pregnancies (such as getting pregnant 2-3 months after birth)?
how about combining between breastfeeding and formula, majority is breastfeeding? How soon can you get pregnant? Thank you!
Nice. I wonder what the optimal spacing between children would be for mothers who are bariatric patients.
We have a 7 month old and I’m not sure when is the right time. I want them close together so they can grow together and play but financially I’m terrified. Also we have no support system so child care is really hard to come by which is tough since my husband and I both work. Not to mention I had a bit of a traumatizing birth so I’m scared to go through that’s agin. It’s quite frustrating because I want baby no 2 so bad!
Should I use baby aspirin and prednisone after transfer?
Hoping for a VBAC in the future
I had HELLP Syndrome with my first pregnancy, and I'd love any data input on this. My daughter was born at 36 weeks and did well, and thankfully, my blood pressure and liver enzymes returned to normal a few days after giving birth. I've seen a lot of conflicting data on HELLP: how long to wait, the likelyhood of reoccurrence, miscarriage, and increased severity. It makes me very apprehensive to try for a second, even though I really want to have another baby. My daughter is currently 14 months old. It's hard not to feel discouraged.
I also had hellp, I have read at least 2 years
Getting pregnant as early as 6 months after the first delivery does not put in risk breastfeeding? Because with pregnancy your milk supply decreases a lot
Can you talk about the 6 months gap between pregnancies with HG and wanting to breastfeed a while through pregnancy with maternal age.
I'm having a next baby 23 years later ...I will be 43 when this baby is born. It's a natural pregnancy after my husband's vasectomy was reversed...I'm healthy,but tired. I don't know if I have time to wait after this one is born (being this old )
to have another child which we do want..if I was younger I could wait. But running out of time in life
What information can you share about clomid? Pro and cons
That is so interesting about pre-eclampsia! I had PE with my first. Emergency c section at 33 weeks gestation. Got pregnant at 15 months post partum and SO many people said i was taking huge risks with uterine rupture etc. PE was my biggest worry because it had caused all the other issues with my first pregnancy. Had a lovely, unmedicated VBAC at home, attended by midwives, and now a happy mum of 2 boys ❤ Had no idea the short gap might have reduced my pre-eclamsia risk which contributed to the amazing experience i had birthing my second baby!
What length of time trying counts as infertility or secondary infertility?? Is it 1 year??
Thank you for this video - could you please clarify for the LAM method: do periods only resume after 6 months because the intervals between feeds lengthen? Or can exclusive breastfeeding every 4 hours after 6 months provide the same protection?
Every mom is different. My 16 month old eats mostly solid foods but still nurses frequently. My periods haven’t resumed and we are well past the 6 month mark. It depends!
Though I think “officially,” doctors say LAM stops being effective around 6 months because it’s easy for moms to lose track of feedings and think they are nursing baby more than they actually are. That could result in some unplanned pregnancies.
Should women heal their diastasis recti before getting pregnant again?
Personal experience: it definitely helps! I'm a PT myself and had my second a few months ago--the DR from #1 took about a year to heal since it was so wide and I had some muscle-intenstine adhesions. "Healing" just means getting the width down to about 1 finger width and depth, plus not having back pain when lifting your older child.
@ thank you 🙏🏽
Waited 19 month post partum anfconceived the first try🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Is there any data on periods for working moms who pump and work? I feel like my period came back faster when I was working, vs being a stay at home mom and nursing on demand.
Im 42 & pregnant with my 3rd. First 2 with first marriage. My boys are 23 & 20 years old. So theres a 20 year gap between this one:) now with my current partner & us wanting nore kids after this one. I know i dont have much time to wait. All the fun things that come with getting older 😭
What about being older mom 40s and want to have 2nd baby after 6 months?