Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable | Harlan Cohen | TEDxUrsulineCollege

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 94

  • @wick12298
    @wick12298 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    "We suffer more in imagination than in reality" ~Seneca

  • @KD-wz8tp
    @KD-wz8tp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    I've noticed that I'm becoming increasingly more introverted and socially awkward the older I get. It's very difficult being in many environments that are anti me. I'm trying to figure out ways to handle the rejection that I experience from those that just don't get me. It gets hard sometimes. Thank you for this video. Headed towards a new path of comfortable discomfort.

    • @Blacuh
      @Blacuh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same, i’m turning 13, but i’m socially awkward and my mum notices as well.

    • @janedoe8566
      @janedoe8566 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I know how you feel

    • @msotrump2629
      @msotrump2629 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you for sharing. You are much loved.

    • @stephaniebygoytia3507
      @stephaniebygoytia3507 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Omg same

    • @shira7867
      @shira7867 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It’s crazy how many people feel like this. You’re not alone!

  • @DanielPSurman
    @DanielPSurman 7 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    Face the uncomfortable. Yes that is key.

  • @TheBreemad
    @TheBreemad 7 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    He's an amazing speaker. Clear and concise.

    • @user-rn8wp8xi5y
      @user-rn8wp8xi5y 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      oOoO what do when you have to go back and look for the right things for the future and iPhone and iPhone and your iPad app

  • @wellbodisalone
    @wellbodisalone 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Facing the uncomfortable is a way to learn and grow.

  • @ThokoTwala
    @ThokoTwala 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Gosh this was my college experience, I didn’t know that you were supposed to be okay with being uncomfortable.

    • @tonyrose3294
      @tonyrose3294 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      nahh definitely not if its your romate getting "entertained" right in top of you.

  • @mini-qx9gx
    @mini-qx9gx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Love this! Only advice I have to anyone watching is you do not have to have someone to lean on. Sometimes that can turn into a safety net. Learn to love and trust yourself

  • @sidkamat6987
    @sidkamat6987 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    How to be comfortable with the uncomfortable?
    1. Universal Rejection truth: Face the truths. 5 People(who will help you) , 3 Places(where you are accepted), Patience

  • @soehan3117
    @soehan3117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I finished watching this video uncomfortably.

  • @shayanpz7209
    @shayanpz7209 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One of the best talks I watched after break up which actually was giving guidance and solutions. Thank you 🙏🏽

  • @am_rima
    @am_rima 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Instead of my first year being uncomfortable for a long while, it turned into an overwhelming feeling that became part of the uncomfortable so my mindset turned into “none of this people know me as well as I do or the people that knew me in high school, let’s go say hi and give a genuine smile” and here I am in my fourth year, a Vice President for a cultural organization on campus that welcomed me in my first year and have a solid idea of what my dream career would be. I learned to accept the uncomfortableness and do it first and if it didn’t workout (making friends, connections, communicating with professors) then it’s okay. At least I tried :)

  • @lokeefelix987
    @lokeefelix987 7 ปีที่แล้ว +144

    If you're doing mental math of everything that goes wrong, your life will always be negative

  • @lucybdavies6192
    @lucybdavies6192 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Well said, People, patience & places I am stuck in wrong deadliest circle

  • @ashjcoronado
    @ashjcoronado 7 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I really needed to listen to this so badly!!!

    • @willvarley6452
      @willvarley6452 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ashley Coronado ask to borrow his ears then

  • @naylabyxbe3411
    @naylabyxbe3411 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    That was a wonderful share! So relatable....thank you and I’m passing it along. cheers!

  • @mikelombard21
    @mikelombard21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The first 30 seconds of this resonated with me so hard. I was that college student.

  • @TheGreatGYROFLUFF
    @TheGreatGYROFLUFF 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This reminds me of a metaphor I saw used.
    If we are all sticks and our goal is to stand upright. We have three paths.
    One, you can try your best to do it alone but it would only take a gust of wind to blow you over.
    Two, you can search for another stick to lean against which may just as easily fall once you lean on it.
    Or three, you can surround yourself with other sticks leaning against many and when one falls it's fine because you have other supports behind it.

  • @HelpMeHarlan
    @HelpMeHarlan 10 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    Who are your FIVE people? Where are your THREE places? How patient are you?

    • @AnayranPinheirodeAzevedo
      @AnayranPinheirodeAzevedo 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      HarlanCohen Thank you for these words. I'm passing through some rough situations in my life, and remember that we need to have people, places and be patient to face these difficulties and get better. I hope this will end, soon or not.

    • @safabaderr559
      @safabaderr559 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      HarlanCohen i'm lebanese and i'm comfortable, lonely, and broken..i have some acne that low my self-esteem..

    • @safabaderr559
      @safabaderr559 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      umcomfortable*

    • @caroh3158
      @caroh3158 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you👍

  • @paulastella8268
    @paulastella8268 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Interesting. I you reinforced the reason why I am totally and completely alone,and yes I am in currently and have been for 2 yrs therapy. My therapist is really good at what he does.

  • @forevermore9431
    @forevermore9431 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That guy is so amazing. So likeable

  • @peterreed736
    @peterreed736 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I've learnt after 59 years that there's is not a single good reason to leave my comfort zone...so I don't. I have a phobia of needles and flying so I just stopped flying or having injections. I also hate socialising so I don't...I now turn down all invites to go out, parties, weddings...and my life is so much better for it.

    • @earthclad6833
      @earthclad6833 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sounds depressing

  • @infinitybless7132
    @infinitybless7132 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A lot of people in this world need to learn how to love everyone. Love is the key to everything. God Bless us all 🥰😇

  • @mymobilebuddy4392
    @mymobilebuddy4392 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I had to listen to it twice to get it. It is a great topic.

  • @mikelombard21
    @mikelombard21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much. I needed to hear this.

  • @anisarraf2992
    @anisarraf2992 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love this speech

  • @antonyliberopoulos933
    @antonyliberopoulos933 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Harlan

  • @FantmVirus
    @FantmVirus 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You’ll Worry Less About What People Think of You When You Realize How Seldom They Do

  • @guloguloguy
    @guloguloguy 8 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY, INSIGHTFUL, AND INSPIRATIONAL VIEWPOINT, AND MIGHT BE WELL WORTH REVISITING, SOMETIMES! THANK YOU, HARLAN!!!!

  • @piscesmusic3116
    @piscesmusic3116 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am still trying to find my place. Wish me luck.

  • @itsybitsy999
    @itsybitsy999 7 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    No, not everyone has people who will always be there for them and no, not everyone has a place they can be comfortable and safe in. This talk is far too simple.

    • @antonczerny
      @antonczerny 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      If you don't have them, go out there and find them. You can move and do something about it. You're not a tree!

    • @carolinethompson8261
      @carolinethompson8261 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@antonczerny hard to find those people who care

    • @yvaz3373
      @yvaz3373 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Circus system: these are stories you tell yoursel. Change the story and see what happens

    • @naylabyxbe3411
      @naylabyxbe3411 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I hear you....I suggest you listen again...he addresses that. Be patient with yourself and listen again and ask yourself questions...you will find your way ....don’t give up

    • @debbiethompson14
      @debbiethompson14 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Seek and you shall find. Probably don't put yourself out there and it sounds like you just feel sorry for yourself for not having that but the whole idea is for you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable put yourself out there. Stop waiting for things to come to you, go look for them!

  • @alexiz_89cancer27
    @alexiz_89cancer27 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    It’s hard for me to get comfortable. I’m in the middle of it right now..

    • @HelpMeHarlan
      @HelpMeHarlan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Focus on patience right now. Lean on people who have been through it. Put yourself in places where you can find help and support. It's hard to find clarity when you're in the middle of it. Don't try. Just walk along with the discomfort and it will drift behind you over time. Then you will find clarity.

    • @alexiz_89cancer27
      @alexiz_89cancer27 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      HarlanCohen thanks I needed that!

  • @louo3767
    @louo3767 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    brave talk!

  • @debbiethompson14
    @debbiethompson14 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    WOW!!! THANK YOU

  • @qasimqureshi4857
    @qasimqureshi4857 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Reminds me of the Fresh Prince episode where Carlton got rejected from the fraternity.

  • @MelissaJMJ
    @MelissaJMJ 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you .

  • @jeandistefano5486
    @jeandistefano5486 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you! Gina in lights

  • @ghaithobaid6397
    @ghaithobaid6397 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    people, places, petient
    Who are my people ?
    Where am I places?
    am I patient enough to get there?

  • @leizdutra9377
    @leizdutra9377 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great talk

  • @ikemkrueger
    @ikemkrueger 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I have trouble getting the concept.

    • @HelpMeHarlan
      @HelpMeHarlan 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Which part is hard to understand? Would be happy to clear it up. Thanks

    • @user-rn8wp8xi5y
      @user-rn8wp8xi5y 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@HelpMeHarlan nomination to do so is that

  • @dilil345
    @dilil345 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    WoW powerful 👍

  • @contrafax
    @contrafax 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I thought the two types are people are: Those who try to pigeon hole people and those that do not.

  • @pansarakesh7394
    @pansarakesh7394 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It was Great

  • @sirbenzo9
    @sirbenzo9 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Well, mary jane is a good one. Best friend ever!!! lol. Actually, it's not bad--but I noticed it haltered my social skills and angst. I quit a month ago to grow in social aspects.

  • @dtdslayer
    @dtdslayer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What happens when u have to go back to the past to bring u to the present?

  • @GabrielaLtc
    @GabrielaLtc 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    why do you tell people you recognize them when in fact you do not?

    • @adibhutani9977
      @adibhutani9977 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hahaha That's what you get from this video. 😃

    • @Breezybreenana
      @Breezybreenana 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It makes people feel good. He wants others to feel important. He meant so much to them so he doesn't want to make them feel bad.

    • @JeremiahFernandez
      @JeremiahFernandez 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      it's called being nice

    • @niktszczegolny5617
      @niktszczegolny5617 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      so, he run for them from the uncomfortable

  • @Uyy778
    @Uyy778 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What do you mean by places?

    • @HelpMeHarlan
      @HelpMeHarlan 8 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      +Davis Nottingham Places are locations (virtual included) where you can find connection, community, answers and support. Think about places where you can live, learn, lead, love, sweat, play, and pray. There are places with open access (all inclusive, spiritual and community based), places you have to be invited to get access (exclusive clubs, organizations, activities), and places where you pay (can be open access or exclusive). There are always places where we can find connection, community, and answers, but we need to put ourselves in these places. Another way to find places is to identify people who reflect your core values, interests and passions. Identify the places they have found their connection and community and let this lead you. Hope this helps.

    • @nickbarbov6607
      @nickbarbov6607 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Davis Nottingham Very good extensive explanation of places by Harlan.

    • @msblondemindy
      @msblondemindy 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      +HarlanCohen you are awesome.

    • @msblondemindy
      @msblondemindy 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      +HarlanCohen thank you.

  • @zoltanzoltan303
    @zoltanzoltan303 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    95% unconfortable all the week expect weekend. What do you think?

  • @alexgarcia5577
    @alexgarcia5577 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Not everyone has people who will always be there for them and no, not everyone has a place they can be comfortable and safe in. This talk is far too simple

    • @demetrius8184
      @demetrius8184 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Are you serious... you copied exactly the same comment. At least make it subtle smh

  • @gabrielmasseur4944
    @gabrielmasseur4944 8 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Very nice ears

    • @adamromero
      @adamromero 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      shhh... he can hear you

    • @Ben_Dover753
      @Ben_Dover753 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      My long lost brother, he's a good listener. :-P

  • @Uminental
    @Uminental 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    0:00 X..videos

  • @sali3309
    @sali3309 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Those ears tho. XD