Dealing with anger
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- Everybody gets mad. Some of us are angry at petty stuff. Some of us are angry at the right stuff but how do we discern between the two or even recognize when we are dealing with anger at all...
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I was sexually abused for years and grew up in a culture that women/children did not have a voice. The biggest trigger for me is not being heard/understood, being ignored. I can be angry about something at a level 3 but if I voice it and it gets ignored, it immediately jumps to a level 10. I also have just as much anger when I see others getting ignored or not having a voice. As far as righteous anger…I used to get really upset about minor issues like being overcharged or not getting the discount I was supposed to get, people cutting in line, bullies, etc. I could not control myself but I realized that it was not about me at all. It was more about fairness and justice. In my head, I spoke up because it was a way to balance justice in the world, as crazy as it seemed. From there, I realized that I could use my anger for a better cause…advocating against child abuse, abortion, trafficking, etc. So now, instead of getting worked up about day to day stuff I try to focus it towards a greater good, a bigger cause. It is so much more effective and rewarding.
Awe, :).
Thank you so much for sharing my dear sis. This helped me! Jesus bless you💛
wow this has helped me, thank you for sharing.
I relate to everything you just said and I appreciate you sharing it! I also have a strong sense of justice and it shows more for the marginalized than it does for myself. Once I see something and it feels unfair or unjust I can never unsee it!
You can’t use anger.
It’s anger that’s using you.
Even just 1 iota of anger separates you from God.
Why not drop the anger?
This segment HEEERRRREEEE.. .is alright with me! Thank you for the transparency. I realize I have anger issues. . . and I feel like i should have known this and have been delivered from it by now because of how old i am but deliverance doesn't have an age limit and because i realize NOW, i can be made all the better! I appreciate you PERRYS!!! 🧡🧡🧡
Hi my name is Clarence. I did not even know that I had anger in me.I was raised in a manipulative and controlling household it was all subtle and I did everything I was told to do. I never even known that's what it was all called until I was born again and even so after so many years of walking with Jesus it's only in the last three years that I begin to learn and be aware of what the Lord is working in me. I have been asking the Lord to "create in me a clean heart..."and to reveal to me if there is any wickedness in me and lead me in the path of righteousness. I have felt that there is some evil device in me and kept asking the Lord to deliver me from it what ever it was. Then I listen to you guys and by God's mercy I repented when I realised that I have been controlling and manipulating my daughter and justifying myself as her mother loving her. I repented and asked Jesus to forgive me and uproot this anger and pride from me. My daughter is born again too so she has her own relationship with the Lord it's not my responsibility to grow her in the Lord he does the work in her. Pray with me sister and brother. God bless you. Great work you are doing. Thanks 🙏❤️
I grew up being able to curse my father and been told i don’t owe him respect because of what him and my mom went through. I grew up fighting all the time. Literally no talking we fighting soon as we see the people we had beef with. I always had a horrible mouth at school with teachers. No boundaries to anything. I remember getting a whooping once for doing something to a teacher in 4th grade. Always avoided conflict as i got older because i didn’t like to be wrong. I have been to therapy and I’ve prayed ALOTTTTT. I won’t say I’m 100% healed because i have my times.. i give people a chance to tone it down but sometimes people see how nice i am and they come the wrong way and i feel like i have to check people like in work places when you are new and people are messy, talk to you crazy etc and i am a person who talks back. I do want to be a person who learns to say nothing back to non sense and leave them looking crazy or trying to have an adult conversation before it gets to a point where i black out. I’ve literally had days i think im healed and I’ve done something crazy and it makes me so sad and hurt because i hate it so much! Like whyyyyyy are you so bothered. Yes you have a right to feel the feeling but how can i not let this trigger me? It’s a lot! It’s not easy!!!! But God!! 🙏🏾🥺
Needed this more than anything right now, thank you!
Love these conversations!
It's the beginning 😂😂😂😂😂cause why yall 😂😂
I'm watching this for the 3rd time 🤣
I love how they encourage each other to go deeper in their thinking
No comments, lemme fix that. Excellent comment btw
I definitely agree I think it's all Jackie's doing though LoL because she's really thorough....she be let's not leave room for assumption. LoL which is great...
“Anger reveals your idols” - wow, that’s profound. Oftentimes we turn our anger outwards, and think the cause is external, meanwhile it’s revealing something within. That’s enlightening, thanks for this.
I am cracking up from the beginning of this episode; that was the holy ghost Preston, Jackie was being used by the holy one to discuss hygiene 🙌🏾🙌🏾🤣🤣🤣🤣
Right right the power of a washcloth 😂
When she said, "that's not enough agitation for me," I almost fell out! Lol
😂😂😂when Preston said “what about the butt”
Listen we thank God for the willing vessels. Cleanliness is next to Godliness …. period . Now imagine there are people who not only don’t use wash cloths but don’t shower everyday . Because it’s a lot of people like this doesn’t justify it as normal or “clean”.
😂❤😂😂
"I idolize the way I am able to think, therfore if in any way the way I think is challenged then you will see anger." OUCH!
Thank God for you both and your message.
“Real righteous anger compels us to be different, not compels us to attack” 🙌🏾💯 Soo good, and sobering!
Wow! Powerful
The feminine expression of anger being manipulation was like. 🤯 cause I knew exactly what you were gonna say right when you said it cause it’s THAT true.
Anger begets the need to control.
My husband is like this but I get fired up honey lol Lord knows why because two firecrackers 🙅🏾♀️
YES!! Anxiety and anger is definitely connected it’s easier to be angry than to be vulnerable.
That’s a WORD cmon
I can totally see this, I get anxious when my house is not organized or clean and then I get angry about it 🤯
I had that silent anger, so much so that I planned out and attempted to (un alive) my abusive father. To cope with our toxic home I became addicted to porn and alcohol at age 11, but when God got through with me 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Talk about the glory of the Lord on full display for the redemption 🙏🏾
Glory to God for keeping you through such a traumatic period.
Wow praise God ❤
“Anger is a symptom…”-That just put so many things into perspective!
Yes - anger at its root is fear. It’s love or fear for us. ... the example of how men control and sexually use/abuse/throw away women out of the anger from being neglected/abused by their mothers as young boys ... and women who manipulate and control men ...people/women/ children/anyone... as a result of being used and abused ... ....fear. ...self. ... a false, weak form of “self-protection” ...the fear of getting got .. the I’m going to get you before you get me - (since you’re going to get me eventually, I’m going first.) The opposite of love. Agree
Being easily Irritated is an anger issue - Ouch
"IF you investigate what makes you angry you'll find your idols"
Women ALSO show anger by the silent treatment or cutting people off QUICKLY because they didn't get their way (another way of manipulation) So good Jackie - that manipulation can be with our children too (usually with adult children or High school age)
Lord my toes hurt!
Yes indeed, Emma before today I would not have considered myself an angry individual. This one cut deep.
I would like to address something you wrote. I will keep this short. I feel that silent treatment has been attacked a lot lately by people, as if silence in itself is evil. Silence to me seems to be is acceptable and tolerated by certain people, until they feel that they want to be heard or spoken too and the person is not responding to them who normally would give them the time of day. Even in Ecclesiastes it states, " a time to keep silence, and a time to speak." Keeping silence when a resolution can be reached is sinful or prideful I agree, but keeping silence can save your soul or even one's life. I want to know how do you feel a silent person can be a manipulator? I feel unless they open their mouth to forcefully get you to do something you are against doing or use their silent behavior to control or influence you, it is usually what her person has done or said in the in the past that causes you to fear them or be intimated by them, not a silent person but help me understand this. because I am confused by this. I think women who are silent and withhold sex from their husband at the same time is being manipulative:)
@@e.wilson9613 I'm not talking about being silent & observing or taking you time. When I say silent treatment I mean "Hummm I'm not gonna talk to you until you do a,b,c" It's a tool that can be used to get someone to do what you say OR ELSE I won't speak to you. I hope that helps explain it more 🙂
@@emmamccoy8381 Yes it does, I appreciate your respectful reply. Thank you. :)
This is good…because as a woman, I express anger by shutting down and silent treatment because I don’t feel hard…it’s a defensive mechanism because I realize if I let you in that moment how I feel…I’ll unleash the wrath of God…
Wow so perfectly articulated a feeling i had earlier today. Do u do this also just bc u don’t want to let people in that moment bc you don’t want to be judged how u feel?
@@helen9412 absolutely
Thank you for sharing because I shut down too and your comment made me reassess my silent treatment. When I go silent, all I know is I am feeling an emotion but I don't necessarily know what triggered the emotion. I have to step back and allow my anger to diffuse so that I can think in a more level head. I don't like talking when I am feeling intense emotions, whether it's sadness, anger, ect. I have to get my emotions under control first.
“Anger is more convenient for someone who doesn’t want to look weak.” + “Anger/Irritability is a form of control. “
“Women try Controlling their environment and controlling people instead of just dealing with the anger. Making puzzle pieces with human beings”
🤯🤯😭😭
This was extremely helpful and realistic.
Thankful for the anointing and wisdom God has placed in both of y’all to break it down so clear for us.
"Being easily irritated is being easily angered" This literally stunned me into silence. Even in high school, I used to say I don't ever get angry/mad, I just get frustrated or irritated. I don't know if it was easily, but I knew the situations that could cause it.
Woww I say I'm not angry I'm upset or disappointed or frustrated.
“New creature but we got some residue from the old one…we’re in a sanctification process” ….that was good!
This is a very convicting video for me because much like Jackie, little things irritate me and quickly. I don’t have a super dramatic, overtly angry response, but definitely annoyance. The root of this for me has been a lack of patience, and also feeling unseen or dismissed. I also used to be a “pushover” or “people pleaser”. That in and of itself can take away your voice, so once I found my voice i did not let others forget it. Pray for me y’all😩.
Me too! My anger shows itself in grumpy dissatisfaction. Feeling unseen leads me to bring passive aggressive, grumpy with people. 😢
Count me in as well
Like she said it's like you just expect people to move different around you
I have this as well. My anger is also fear and control. For example, when I'm driving and get angry at someone for cutting me off its really me being fearful about getting into a car crash.
The first 2 min of this is HILARIOUS 😂 “but what about the butt? 🤔”
“All they got is body towels”
Yoooooo 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Look, I have been stuck at that very spot for 10 minutes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
preston was in SHOCK
🤣😂
I never thought being easily irritated or easily is annoyed is a form of anger 😩 … how do we get to the root of it and remove that stronghold!?! 🤔
Sometimes it could tie directly to how you grew up, if you're family didn't like you making mistakes or was impatient when things wasn't done a certain way when asked once can make a person become annoyed when someone cannot do something as quickly as expected. I think it seems like it something wrong with them but there's something wrong with you, who gave you the right to give a person a time frame to do something right, God doesn't even do that? I think a lot of businesses do that and our culture pushes this agenda and no one feels allowed to make a mistake and if they do they are shunned for it..anyway I just wanted to say it's not your fault and we need to learn how to carry our own cross and bear it daily, sorry if it's too long.:)
@@e.wilson9613 No worries! These are definitely great points! Yes my parents did expect perfection and I was definitely on a time schedule to get chores completed. I remembering timing myself on how quickly I make my bed in the morning before school lol! However I do feel like I’m also naturally this way. From as early as I could remember I was never the child that like strangers and it takes me awhile before I warm up to people. I often find myself not wanting to be bothered by other people and find isolation quite nice because people often drain me. Now I find myself now getting annoyed or irritated by people who don’t catch on to things quickly or seem as non intelligent. I’ve always been deemed the smart child so maybe that has something to do with it as well along with your other points! Thanks for the feedback!
@@tamaramichelle4326 well you just described me perfectly. Sometimes, we come across as standoffish isn't it?
@@tamaramichelle4326 We are similar in some ways. I too take a while to warm up to people and need to be alone and feel comfortable in isolation. I renew my strength there. Anyway however my mom use to say when I was a child I never met a stranger, in some ways I'm still like, that. Anyway I think it's very acceptable to be the way you described, just remember not to be judgemental towards those who lack your skill of follow- through and self-discipline. Some people don't grow up in that type of environment or is encouraged to do so, for the Lord is not a respect of persons. In Rms. 14: 7-13, it talks about how the servants of the Lord,( if we consider ourselves that) are not to judge one another. I find it more difficult to deal with a condescending person than a person who learns slower than me, but that's my thing. I am probably one of those people who you would find to be annoying that seems to have become the lot of my life since I've gotten older, but I don't judge you, I just think you are a wonderful human being who needs to remember what really matters or truly counts which is that we love with the heart and not our hands and feet, that which can leads us into strange and forbidden places. Pray that the Lord will continue to give you discernment in this thing. We all fall short of the glory of God, and even if we did come pretty darn close to his perfection we would still miss one point if we are not doing according to his will. :) be blessed. I'm sorry this is too long. The next one will be shorter.:)
@@e.wilson9613 Amen and God Bless you! 🙏🏾🤎🙏🏾
I'm with Jackie. My biggest irritant is people thinking I'm stupid. Mine manifested from a lifetime of hearing "oh you don't have no common sense, you're just book smart." You mean because I didn't understand something? Because I ask questions? Because we don't have the same point of view? Because my mind doesn't operate like yours? That being paired with the person who is "smart" in my family, irks me. Especially, now that I have surpassed knowledge in certain area of older family members. However, I can see it for what it is. It is prideful. Very prideful of me. It's to the point I question pursuing further education. I'm not sure if it's because I want to show my family just how capable I am or have some accolade obsession. Do I want to be viewed as the intelligent person? Or am I still the very curious and inquisitive person I was as a child?
This!!🗣🗣🗣🗣
Wow This is DEFINITELY ME !!!! I have also been told that my intelligence was only linked to “academics” and till this day, I am highly bothered and angered when someone thinks I am stupid. But I am grateful for God’s loving kindness and it’s an area that needs to be surrendered to Jesus.
"Anger is more convenient to someone who doesn't want to look weak."
I'm a female... and this is my struggle.
Lord help me. My pride.
I don't cry much...except when I'm really angry. Never thought about it. Thankful for this ...I love you fam and thank God for your transparency. You're helping Saints as we all seek to grow to be more like Christ.
I relate to this so much, brought me to tears.
Yes!!! I struggled with anger as a little child all the way into my adulthood. I've finally let God start working on it and it's wonderful.
I grew up with angry parents so it's all I ever saw modelled to me. I would snap and yell at anyone who I thought was trying to control me, and began to hate myself because I became the person I feared growing up. I also used to only cry when I was angry, because I didn't want to appear weak by showing I was hurt or sad or even touched by a sincere gesture.
Until God revealed that the devil keeps us prisoner by convincing us that change is too hard and too shameful. God revealed that He wanted to change me and heal me, no matter what anyone else would say or think. That if I wanted to be a completely different person tomorrow, no one can stop Him from doing that in me.
It's been 4 years since then and I cry about everything now, and rarely feel as angry as I used to. Family and old friends can unknowingly try to pull you back by reminding you of your old self, but with Godly accountability and the assurance of my identity in Christ, I vehemently reject it.
@@valeriejairosiBeautiful testimony 💓
Loved this talk and everything just wanted to add that another way that woman express anger is through gossip!!!
[edit] I hope you can cover more on women angry, bitterness and dealing with ‘when someone makes you feel stupid’ as Jackie said
…alot of the anger we dealing with is rooted to our childhood
That drove me into deep introspection
….
Gaslighting is something to be triggered by. I don’t think I’m smarter than anyone. But I will get angry when it happens to me or anyone else. But I don’t know how to handle it correctly. This was a really insightful discussion. Thank y’all. Blessups 🙏🏽💕
Underneath anger is pain. There’s something that hurts and anger rises to protect the part of you that is threatened or hurt
I've recently been trying to find the cause of my anger but I haven't found it yet. I know why I'm angry at my mother - that stems from constantly being criticized by her with everything - and I'm working on that; I haven't figured out why I'm angry at everything else though. I'm like Jackie where I'm constantly irritated by the littlest thing. I feel enslaved by it and I pray for God to deliver me from it.
Let it GO. Flow and it be a drop thrown into the ocean waves. YOu ned to catch the thoughts and think AM I Stupid for exercising this thought and emotion or does it do me good?
Your videos are therapy at this point, I didn't know I had an anger problem. Thanks Perrys,glory to God.
I can relate to this
As you are talking, I just realized that my anger has been my state of panic and helplessness expressing itself in a versaral reaction
Facts... Can relate
Women can express anger through sarcasm or sardonic humor (scoffing).. that's often how I express my anger. It ain't pretty but it's definitely exposes an "I'm so much smarter than you that I can play you subtly and you don't even realize it."
Anger in women (and men) can also come out in self harm (physically/mentally).
You're both such a blessing. Continue the great work.
Seriously it's just sad, that a man getting angry is considered as strength, here in Africa it's on a whole new level.
Wanted to thank my brother and sister for taking the time to have this talk. Y'all help me realize how angry I am. I will take this to the Lord. God Bless Y'all
To back up your point that fear sometimes manifests as anger- a lot of my "road rage" type reactions went away when I started admitting that what the other driver did scared me.
As a 17 year old girl this was so insightful and helpful. I always knew I was angry but I never even thought of thinking why. Glory to Jesus Christ alone for this Godly perspective! Keep doing His good work.
❤
As a women who grew up in a household that was predominately male, I relate to the way 'male' anger is described. Its funny, because struggling with weakness and not wanting to show true emotions or cry is a symptom of that. Even if it is socially acceptable for a woman to cry I still can't break what was taught to my brothers and I.
This was really good y’all. Such a good conversation and so many gems. This helped open my eyes to a lot more as well.
Yeah also about culture . Going up in the Caribbean, St.Lucia our underwear is our wash clothe . As soon you enter that bathroom you wash your underwear/panty an yeah ...
I read a lot of comments of black people focusing on the wrong thing! Focus on the message not their clothes or do they have binds on the windows or where she brought her make up at! They spoke the truth! And the truth will set you free!
@preston you’re the best! Though I barely know your story, I absolutely love how you so transparently embody the transforming power of the gospel in how you relate to and interact with @jackie. You carry the heart of Christ for her with such dignity and respect… It’s breath taking and awe inspiring. Thank you for being not only an example for believing husbands in the black community, but for men all over the world!
WOW. I love the way that you communicate openly with each other & challenge each other to grow intellectually, spiritually, & holistically. This whole discussion was not only enlightening but also convicting. God bless you both so much for letting Him use you.
The idol is pride. "You think I'm stupid." "You think I'm weak" "imma show you who I am". It's ego. It's the same way Lucifer thought. But once you realize they said all that about Jesus and He still was like "oh, ok" and did His job, you learn to react differently. And it makes you look at people differently. You see their ego and where they wear pride as a bandage and you learn how to respond Christ like. It's rough and it takes a lot of patience, but it's so worth it!
I believe unrighteous judgement can be a form of anger - as it relates to all people but especially women.
Preston that defining how to be righteously angry was so good. It helped me to understand it.
Vengeance is mine said the Lord has keep me in peace and not to act in a negative way based on my anger. Thank you Perry’s for this Pod it’s amazing ❤
The beginning of this podcast is always funny 😂😂
Ok, so I'm listening while driving to a client's home and I feel attacked😂I think Jackie just called out my swift & targeted use of sarcasm as masked anger! How rude! 😂 Now I have to go try to work with my client while what I really wanna do is go dig into this. Smh
Agreed.. it’s said sarcasm is the sign of a weak mind/ just a thin disguise to cover up fear, anger and hurt. It really doesn’t take much to be sarcastic. It’s such a low form of communication and expression. It’s acceptable and even “cute” in society - even in Kingdom circles - but we can do better. It’s a mask. Agree
(Just to piggyback ... We hear sarcasm in most of our modern entertainment, even in innocent “G rated” family sitcoms, animation, with kids talking sarcastically to their parents etc and we think it’s normal in today’s culture to laugh at these “jokes” but the word •sarcasm• in the Greek actually means “to tear up the flesh, to rip apart flesh” (as a dog taking a piece of meat in its mouth and tearing it apart.) Sarcasm is biting and cutting. It’s _supposed_ to wound. That’s why it’s chosen. This helps me understand just how hurtful sarcastic words are. Even though we’ve normalized sarcasm and it’s “just how we talk” and is an acceptable form of what we call “humor,” just a way to release tension in conversation, it can be much deeper than this as masked anger/fear/ insecurity and used to wound and cut another down . In Christ, I can do better. Would He talk sarcastically like I talk? Agree)
This episode was right on time for me. I thought I was healed in some areas but dealing with my co parenting situation has proved I need to deal with my anger.
I am so glad that I came across this video. It’s honestly a sign of relief. Watching this has allowed me to open my eyes and understand that I am dealing with anger, what angers me, and how to deal with it in a healthy way. I just pray that God will continue to be patient with me because I am tired of dealing with my anger in a toxic way.
So on time message. I deal with anger and pray daily God delivers me from it because it's expressed in ugly ways through out my days and it's a terrible place to be in. This morning I felt that anger that I thought I was doing better with coming back and there came y'all's video right on time.
At 65, I spent many years being abused, ridiculed, beaten, threatened, etc.... simply because of being born with a birth defect. I was constantly mocked and attacked, treated like trash by people in school, in church/Sunday school sessions, on many jobs, and especially at home! My own brother repeatedly sought to "punish" me for having been born a physical freak!! He would often bring one or two male friends, or a female friend out to our parents place (far outside of the town we were from). He would immediately insult me, kick me, and threatened to kill me, just to show off how "tough" he thought he was! I had spent over a decade being beaten, and threatened with death! I shouted to God for justice, for years! Justice finally came when I was able to move away for several years.
Wow! “If you investigate what makes you angry you’ll find your idols.” That is so powerful and true. I know I struggle with idolizing things like hair and beauty, but I never really understood why I’d get angry and irritated when I turned to those things. When it comes to beauty and hair, I often idolize what other women have (concerning hair length especially) and get angry or irritated around them because I am jealous of what they have, rather than giving God thanks for what I have. Please pray for me. But this also showcases the process and outcome of sanctification. It’s crazy how the things you once loved you now grow and distaste for because of the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. God bless you guys! Great episode!
Have you guys also thought about writing a book about this topic?
This woman (me) has struggled with both "Jackie anger" and "Preston anger". It's hard when you can't even detect what's beneath it because the anger is so instantaneous. When I've been in times like those, my whole family hurts, and I feel such a deep mourning and borderline hatred at myself for the pain I've caused (I never touch anyone, but to cause pain you don't have to). I have found that in my attempts at therapy, this issue was never taken seriously, maybe because I can compose myself the vast majority of the time so my therapist (I think) believed I was overstating my struggle. I'm trying to "watch" the times this has occurred in retrospect, lately because I'm always scared another day will happen like this (either succinct days of rapid irritation or the day out of nowhere where I get set off and I just blow a fuse several times-verbally-even after I thought I had calmed down. I had to walk away a lot in those days and I felt like I just was blowing up walking off, blowing up walking off, all. day.).
I have lots of trauma and abuse in my past, and great fears in trying to get myself finished with my degree while me and my 3 make it with the funds the Lord does provide. Praise God. But I feel guilty over all that I can't give them as the years go by and sometimes it's too much. That's all I can figure but I don't know what to do with that because it can't change until I'm done (last year coming up, Lord willing). I feel like all I can do is try to be the most loving and a make-the-BEST (truly)-of-anything type mother that I can be. I never feel like I can give enough or do enough that my kids deserve. That's just not a good feeling. Most days, I just focus on my schoolwork and theirs and just try to stay hopeful and in prayer, but honestly some days I have to go numb to a degree so I don't let the anger rise up. Anger (not the righteous kind) is a real threat in and of itself. Thank you for the thoughts on this you both provided.
Thank you both for snatching the time to minister in this way. You are deeply appreciated. Thank you for helping us articulate what we experience internally with anger. Your ministry is uniquely special. Much love.
Wow this was such a great and edifying conversation. All Glory to the Lord, God bless you both and thank you! I truly needed to hear this because it make me reflect so much on my anger.
A African cloth is what we all need fr🤣 to scrub the dirt off😭 I’m with Jackie like why y’all don’t offer wash cloths that be crazy fr🤣🤣
I love this topic! In my marriage I have temptation to go towards unrighteous anger It’s difficult to yield those behaviors. Work in progress!
You cannot wash the rest of your body like you wash your hands. I need all ppl to realize and Practice this! Lol we think too much alike on random topics
You two are awesome. Thank you.
I felt this. I’m angry ALL the time, and I can’t find the root. Gonna ask God to soften this heart of mine because my anger is debilitating to the point that it’ll ruin my day. I’ll when go days, weeks, months without talking to someone because I’m angry at them, and I KNOW that’s not good. 😩🥵
Thank you for this dialogue, it was very eye opening!
Things that make you angry can be your idols
Maybe it was laundry day Jackie lol y'all are hilarious. I grew up using a one wash cloth for my face and one for my body. I was taught you can't use the one for your behind on your face.
Same!!
Your observation about manipulation and control is so spot on for me! I’m working on this and asking God to work this out of me. I also feel called to this ministry. Preciate this video
I love this!! Problem with me is that I haven't experienced myself angry before. As in, I know I'm capable of getting angry, but I guess I havent been triggered enough or put myself in triggering situations, so I have no idea how I act when I'm angry. Is this a problem???
So you're saying you don't ever get frustrated, annoyed, or irritated by anything or anyone? If not, that's a good thing. It shows not everyone struggles with anger. Just the same as not everyone struggles with other sins such as fornication, lying, gossip, and swearing (just to name a few common ones seen amongst professed Christians which is unfortunate).
This was so good and so relevant for myself and so many loved ones ❤️🙌🏾 Thank you! On another note…I cannot contain my laughter when y’all go on about the washcloth vs the hands. 😆 My showers will never be the same since y’all …mostly YOU Jackie, have brought up the washcloth texture/agitation thing. I mean, I need the friction too…can’t just be smooth. Some folks be treating their showers as dishwashers, but we can’t just be rinsed off with hot water and soap and thinking we good. TBH, I still use a sponge on my dishes before they go in the dishwasher. 🤷🏽♀️ Anyhow, It’s the comedy and real talk I didn’t know I needed. 😆 it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my thoughts that other people would consider awkward.
Yes ma’am I have to have two wash cloths.
“easily irritated is an anger issue” that was a wow moment and made me reflect. I’m unfortunately easily irritable.
The intro has me in tears 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀
Me feeling convicted because I get easily irritated 🥲
Okay okay, I hear y’all 🙌🏾
Mann,..Sooo good ! I feel like I’m working through a lot of my own personal hurts. Which really has sat down as anger with how someone has treated me. But hearing what you guys are saying reminds me of how much not only do I need to keep forgiving but I need to give more empathy toward those who have hurt me as well. I love this !! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Yes, for many women, manipulation is definitely one way. Another big one is passive aggressiveness and talking behind people's back. 😢
HEAVENLY FATHER, LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, please may YOU help us all in this regard.
May YOU help us get to the root of our anger that we may become the light of JESUS here on earth, that we may reflect HIM WHO saves us and sanctifies us.
LORD, 'cause that is WHO YOU are, may we humble ourselves before YOU, confess our sins and allow YOU to teach us, rebuke us, correct us and lead us in the way everlasting.
With YOUR HOLY SPIRIT, may YOU give us strength and peace and wisdom in facing our inner hurts knowing YOU are with us in it and through it. Knowing YOU will complete YOUR GOOD WORK in us.
We trust YOU and YOUR SOVEREIGN WILL in our lives.
In JESUS' MIGHTY NAME
Amen
JESUS loves you dearly ❤
You two are incredible together!!
I know folks who do not use face towels , loofah's, or any other body cleansing utensils. So I'm with Jackie....I have a few concerns!!!!🤔🤔🤔🙏🙏🙏😕😕😕
The part about being irritated very easily being a form of anger and the desire for control being the underlying factor of that issue...🤯🤯
I have cried deep sobs while listening (starting at around 17:31 especially) and processing this message. It's so simplistically accurate yet extremely and profoundly honest. There has been a great deal of shame and guilt that I carried for many years. Having been molested and watching people my entire life mask up, pretending to be saved yet actually living for and loving the world. As a young mother, I attempted to break certain cycles that I admit I was actually ill-equipped to completely denounce for the sake of family. Fast forward to today and I am so grateful and thankful that God is helping me unlearn the false things that were indoctrinated in me. Knowing some truth only resulted in my living some freedom. Taking the responsibility to actually STUDY God's Word and being in a family of Christ that is helping me grow and being my accountability partner, I can say I see so much that I've said and done, and am in some aspects still dealing with that I know has d God. Yet, here I am getting stronger and WISER and willing to release even more of the enemy that had convinced me I needed to hold on to. Being afraid to share my story with the world because of the shame I would bring to my family when they were living their lives, unapologetically assuming I would always secure their secrets and damage that helped to mold the controlling person I have been most of my life in certain ways. Not feeling heard or respected have been MAJOR trigger's for me. I'm thankful that a weight has been lifted today and that this message and this thread have helped me see myself more. I am humbled and encouraged.
My soul is tortured and tormented and raped.
He raped me.
I am in agony.
Anguished.
Haunted.
Panicked.
In despair.
I die inside.
The pain is unbearable.
I drowned in terror and darkness.
Nightmares all night.
Panic attacks all day.
When and how will I ever heal?
This happened to me in February,
and now we're in June...
I need a miracle.
A million little miracles...
His name is Bryan.
He raped my soul.
Viciously maliciously
brutally violently.
I thought he was my best friend.
He betrayed and abandoned me
and left me alone to die.
Replaced me.
Discarded me.
Like garbage.
Gave me sever PTSD.
So...
I release all chords, hooks, ties, and attachments
to him specifically, and also generally:
to any person, place, or thing,
on any time continuum,
that is no longer for my highest and best good, and healing...
I release all of these things now, and forevermore,
and I watch them dissolve into the nothingness, from which they came...
Thank you, thank you, thank you
- IT IS DONE! 🙏
And here are 13 gentle and urgent reminders:
1. You're ALWAYS exactly where you are supposed to be
2. Self-esteem is measured by you (nobody else gets to decide your worth)
3. Get rid of fear: FOREVER!!!
4. When things are tough, change the way you see things...
5. Don't dwell on/in the past (come back to this present moment!)
6. It's only temporary (all of it!)
7. You have what it takes
8. You don't need to change
9. Release your need for control
10. Accept. Allow. Breathe. Deep.
11. Remember where you came from
12. Remember that you are not alone (not ever!)
13. Remember who you are
I cannot thank you enough for this. Definitely broken down a lot of my thoughts, and feelings, towards my situation as of late. Helped me to better understand myself. Amazing episode!
I’m one minute in and cracking up! I love you guy’s!😆❤️
Chile! This control bit is dragging my wig
Minister Jackie you're on to something about the emotion of anger existing because of sin!
I've always found the counseling session The Lord has with Cain after The Lord did not accept Cain's offering fascinating. The Lord asks Cain "why are you angry" and "why is your face downcast" The Lord encourages Cain that if he does what is right, he will be accepted by The Lord. Then The Lord admonishes Cain that if he does not do what is right, sin is crouching at his door, desiring to have him, and he must rule over it.
Cain apparently becomes more angry instead of heeding the Word of God, and goes forth to commit premeditated murder and the first known homicide against his brother Abel.
I definitely concur and conclude that human anger is usually attached to sin.
So blessed by your podcast. This is what I call Christian therapy. Hallelujah! God protect your union. Amen 🙏
I’m very angry, and when I think about where it comes from, it stems from not being validated. Being told and treated like I don’t or never mattered. That I was not wanted by the very woman who brought me into this world. Then bringing a child into this world and once again not respected or loved. And having your only child betray me in the worst possible way and have no remorse. I’m seeking to find healing and things are better but I’m such a work in progress!
Women anger comes out in control , manipulating, vindictive behavior patterns. Emotional detachment, treating you like a enemy no matter what the situation is.
So funny because I work night shift and I came home and went straight to bed. So now I'm sitting here thinking I need a shower before church and naturally I open TH-cam for you to tell me... "You have not taken a shower yet" don't call me out like that 🤣🤣🤣🤣
See, now I’m angry they didn’t offer you a washcloth! 😡😂😡😂😡😂
Question, when y'all gone talk about Roe v Wade?? We're dying to hear y'all perspective on this decision.
I love this so much 💜 As a woman who has dealt/ is dealing with healing from anger, I can relate to pretty much this whole conversation. I was the one who wanted to manipulate the people around me and my surroundings so that no one could push that one button that would set me off like a firecracker. Only learning that the more I pursued that manipulation, I was only piling on more and more things and thoughts that would make me angry. Glory to God for the great works He's doing within me.
This is sooo good. How did y’all get passed your own internalized pains in a marriage? I feel like unpacking that stuff while being married will make or break the marriage. 😩
They both went to therapy and had accountability/community to continually sharpen them and be an example to them
Yes you need a washcloth. I've been to houses without any and I was confused.
I bring my own while traveling
I love that "If sin didn't exist would we be angry?" question. I know all things were created by Him, and us in His image and since God didn't change because we changed (we fell) so if we are created in His image and likeness then yes, He gave it (anger) to us. Righteous anger. Righteous joy. Righteous peace...et cetera. All in Him. Through Him. From Him. I think of how all our everything was manipulated by the enemy and that's how we get to that sinful anger place? All emotions we enjoy are from God until the world (because of Satan) corrupts them (perverts them, literally) to cause us to question the holiness of God because we question the emotions we feel that the enemy has corrupted ("God isn't God if there's anger") because we interpret them (in this case, anger) mainly through the lens perverted by the enemy....
Nobody:
Preston: But wait 👀👀 🤔 What about the BUTT 🤯
The butt cleaning is concerning 😅 hahahahaha. I travel prepared with my own towels and toiletries ! Haha
I'm cracking up and I'm only 2 minutes in. Ms. Jackie, may the Lord bless you. I can't with you this morning.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I can't breathe.
William discussion! Easy to understand and much needed, thank you!
First off, this intro had me rollinggg😂😂😂😂 you two are HILARIOUS!
Hurt and rage intertwined
Anger can actually manifest as control
"You need a washcloth..." 🤣🤣🤣
The seriousness 😭