This episode has truly blessed me. I've been praying about making friends. I feel like making friends when you are older it's harder. I just want to be surrounded by Godly purpose filled women.
@@jemimakeston7827 It's true, I'm learning that now. People learn how to love by being loved. If you've never been shown love, you can't conceive it. it doesn't mean your friends will always do it but they'll know how.
I agree with Jem. That's not always the case. I ALWAYS show up for friends and I don't ever see that in return. I'm always a giver but ppl tend to be taken advantage of. Im know in a situation where I have a so called friend who has shown jealousy and lack of support for me and I'm like I'm done
@@SMARAGH20 i used to have a similar problem. It really helped me to begin enforcing boundaries with everyone and working on my self esteem so I could be brave enough to enforce those boundaries. But please recognize that people still need to be loved. If loving them from a distance is necessary, do that 🤷🏽♀️. But Luke 7:47 states that he who is forgiven little, loves little. So continue to show up for your friends, but make sure you have good boundaries. They'll protect you from users. Also, if that person can't handle being your friend, love them from a distance. Speak well of them, bless them, send them, communicate your boundaries, and keep your distance. Don't let them make you bitter. How you love your friends is a gift. If they can't appreciate it, forgive them for that and keep it moving.
Now at the age of 50 (unmarried) I wish I had been more intentional about friends. It is hard to meet friends when you're older because people are settled in their lives and it's hard to trust people (women at that) but I dont want to die alone without friends or a husband. We really do need people. ❤
Praying for you sister. Trust the Lord…One thing my mom told me is that when she was young and had committed to walking closer with the Lord, she prayed and asked the Lord for Christian friends (like Preston mentioned) and it was not long before He began to bring those Christian friends! This was when I was very little, so all I remember is my Mom having good Christian friends. Watching those relationships created a template for my friendships as I became an adult. I shared that to say to you: I just turned 48 and I’m also unmarried. I do have a solid community of Christian friends, and you can too! God answers prayer! What makes you different from Preston or my Mom? If you’re a Christ follower; Nothing. The Lord hears that concern and I believe He’ll answer. Blessings! 🙏🏽✝️
Along with the response that was given I also suggest, respectfully changing your mindset. If you feel like people can't be trusted, women or men then you won't be open when God starts sending people your way. If you're a Christian look for the fruit of the Spirit in those you want to be friends with.
After I got saved 2 years ago I lost all my friends and God just told me to have peace being alone and not even pursue friendships. But now I'm trying to make friends with people who will encourage me and support my faith and it's not easy at all
Whew, this was so good! This a much-needed conversation because people think friendships are supposed to get easier as you get older. No, making time, being intentional, being receptive, and being communicative is WORK!
Mmmmmm. Jackie said it best… having friends because of their “style.” EVERYTHINGGGG is aesthetic now a days even friendship. Sad but true & it has many of us wanting that “Instagram, social media” type of friendship where friends are dressed up, clinking drinks & doing a day in the life videos lol
I agree with Jackie that we need to pray about our relationships versus following a rulebook. I think as human beings we have a tendency to want a "how-to guide", "follow these steps" type of advice when it comes to life situations but as Christians we are called to check earthly wisdom with the Holy Spirit. Some situations may be toxic but if God calls us to it, He will give us strength to walk through it.
Yessss… many people think that time breads intimacy AUTOMATICALLY & it simply doesn’t. Intimacy had to be intentional- even when there’s chemistry. You can have a 20 year surface friend & you can have a 2 year friendship that you rely on without question.
Nah they were not made for each other, they work hard for each other they choose to be with each other every day even in the darkest of days, that is compatibility finding what you can compromise on and just build each, that's why we have these two ❤❤ Iove them from Zambia, my wish is to meet them 😢
Amen I needed this! I saw myself battling with feelings of loneliness because I lacked friendship! But I am now in a season of God bringing me Godly friendships!
Grateful for the Godly friends who stuck around when I had nothing to offer at all and taught me how to show up for others in a way I didn’t know before. I struggle with friendships. I’m 29, and I fee like I only have capacity for a few friendships but my heart wants to be there for more friends. I need to pray more about this honestly.
It's crazy that we aren't taught to pray for our friendships the way we are, romantic relationships! However, the timing and topic of this video? God clearly told y'all to make it for ME...PERIOD! So, thank you for this. 🙏🏽💜
I've had so many friendships where I was drained and it's hardened me to the point where I no longer want to be emotionally available for friends. And I'm praying for God's healing
I low-key need a part two on this discussion! Navigating adult friendships have been a bit difficult for me. I'm not the best at keeping in touch. This was good, y'all touched on a lot of different aspects.
This episode is everything. I've been praying for friend's like this. I feel like I've been so isolated for so long. Lord thank you for drawing me to this video. Goodness.
I want to thank you two for staying true to Jesus and not giving into the world. Many “Christian” leaders are giving in. Thank you for glorifying Jesus and never being ashamed.it’s all about Him
Friendships are so important, and I make it my duty to invest in my friendships as I know God gave them to me as a gift. Friendships really help you to evaluate yourself, and they help you to grow and be better in other areas of your life. I am grateful for my close friends, best, friends, and associates. Personally, I do not take anyone that is my life for granted. Now, I will say this, and I know all women do not act this way, so I want to say because some women have been conditioned to prioritize romantic relationships over friendships, there is a pattern where many women do struggle to hold and make friends...... or even see the value of friendships... Yet, I think all the conversations we're having about friendships can resolve this. I also love the statement about how frienships are work. That statement is true because freinships are relationships, and we all know that friendships take investment.
When I say that this is RIGHT ON TIME! The Holy Spirit does not miss!! 🎯Thank y’all for this incredible message. I’ve been struggling in the area of friendships for quite some time, & this confirmed a lot of what God has been revealing to me.
Lord give me the courage to be faithful to what you are telling me. Lord, I have not had an intimate friendship before. I do not know how to look for a friendship or what they look like. So God, I pray for discernment in hearing your voice as guidance through comfortability. Remind me that you are after my whole heart in this process.
19:10- when God schedules your play dates! 😂😮💨🙏🏽 I’ve been talking to my 8th grade students about this topic. I have had friendships that have lasted since middle school (30+ years), and I’ve taken on new ones and been adopted into family units in the years since, as well. But like Preston said, sometimes it’s about SEASONAL companions. “We’ll walk this leg of the journey together, and there’s no animosity when we start to keep tempo with another, or one person needs to stop and tie her shoelaces so she tells the other to go on without her, or one of us gets new wind and is ready to sprint.” At the core of the content area that I teach (English Language Arts/ ELA) is our ability AND willingness to effectively connect, communicate and collaborate with those whom we will encounter throughout our lives. But if I called everyone that considers ME a friend everyday, I’d be on the phone all the time. The relationships IN my life right now are the people who, like Jackie said, have the kind of character that sees HEARTS. People who are weird and fun and who aren’t so self-centered that they spend most of their time judging everyone ELSE based what they bring to the table (aka, “What can YOU do for ME?”). So I trust God to help me know when and how much to give, I talk to my people and listen to them (including what they’re NOT saying), and I trust that his promise to use it all for good (Romans 8:28) will hold true. I’ve only gotten better at it because of all of the opportunities for practice that God has given me! 😩😂 That, and the fact that I’m so focused on Jesus that anyone who’s walking with me can’t HELP but hear his name, see evidence of his faithfulness, and get just a taste of his love, filtered through my body-flawed, though it may be. 😮💨🙏🏽❤️ His love covers a multitude of sins!
"That, and the fact that I’m so focused on Jesus that anyone who’s walking with me can’t HELP but hear his name ... " This is me, and I love yhat God uses us through that quality. Out of the heart the mouth speaks
I love that Jackie compared building strong friendships with having a strong marriage. I wholeheartedly agree with this. I also love that Preston talked about God calling you up higher in a place of friendship. This is such a profound message. I am especially glad I listened to it. God Bless You. I definitely will come back to this several times.
Jackie really told the truth about how some people, especially women, will ascribe motives because you aren’t showing up in a way they feel you should. I lost a friend that way. She tore me down and walked away. Couldn’t understand that I was going through a transition in life. It’s been months and I’m still grieving about our friendship because I really cared for her. Please pray for me.
I have a friend who used to be a virtual friend. She was virtual for 6 years... When we met at first time it was HORRIBLE! We saw all our flaws and it cost some time of praying and reorganization and, after 3 years we met again and it was AMAZING! Today we still have to keep balancing our behavior, but we've been seen how God has been working through our hard friendship!!! I think that discernment is a key to know if the friendship is worth.
The heart of intimicy is communication and keeping a community functional and intentional about checking in with each other... Key word communication because that's one thing we really need to work on as a kingdom cause that will break barriers for people to get more vulnerable because they have the language for it...we need to talk
This blessed me sooo much! If I do not KNOW you, you are not my friend. A lot of “friendship” are just getting by off of “just vibes”, but they have no clue who they are actually associating themselves with. I understand friendship isn’t a quiz/race and should be grown organically, but they take work. I feel that if someone isn’t interested in getting to know me they are not interested in being my friend. We can be associates tho 🤷🏾♀️
I have been examining my family and friends, specifically friends lately. I am heading into my 50’s and I am particular about friendships. I find myself wanting reciprocation and meaning in my relationships. I don’t see any value in spending time with people that only take from me or cannot get deep. With this desire, it’s difficult to find new friends. I find myself running back to old friends that may not be fulfilling. It’s tough.
Thank you so much for going in depth and covering the nuance of this topic. Makes me feel less crazy for thinking about it to this degree. Community is so important to a healthy Christian walk, and I think it takes a great deal of discernment and prayer to have a balanced perspective in who and how to invest in the people around you.
I have a best friend who I love dearly, but I recently got saved again and fully recommitted my life to Christ. One of the first things God told me to do was to let my best friend go. It tore me up inside, but I trusted in the Lord and new that he will restore our friendship. So, as I love my best friend from a distance (without any communication) I am praying to God to please save him. At least when we rekindle our friendship months or years from now we will be on the same page through Christ. I miss you Jay and always want the best for you 💜!!
That’s so true! No one really says anymore, “hi, I would like to be your friend because i think we could benefit each other.” Kindergartners are better at this than adults, next thing you know…those same kindergartners are each others bridesmaids in their weddings 20 years later 😮
Interesting conversation. . I have kids, and a man, but I’m soooo isolated…. I have distant friends, but as I age, and as life goes on, it’s getting harder to maintain friendships….. and well… I’ll be honest…. I like being alone 😅… when I don’t have my kids around, all I want is some peace and quiet to do NOTHING…. I’m kinda over overextending myself to stay in peoples lives when they don’t even do the same for me.
@@wilsonswife85 Perfectly said! I never really had a problem with being alone but now that my children are grown I don't want to be alone. I want to live outside like Jesus.😇❤
This! All of this!! All your comments reaonate!!....I have a nice circle of women but lately I have little interest in going too tooooo deep..as I have before. I have taken out alot of time to pour into them but the pouring definitely doesn't go both ways (with the exception of 2 from time to time but majority kinda cant especially because of where they are spiritually and in life..no shade just saying 1 still a side piece 1 hastly chasing money over everything 1 angry at men..but 1 spiritually above me and deep..1 trying to gain their spiritual footing which is beautiful).. Overall, I feel like I'm a big WELL where folks come to fill their cup..but at this point with so many years of servitude and loyalty and pouring...the well needs some pouring into right?! So I'm rocking with my husband and God..I need a break, and now at 38 (just turned a few days ago)...im tired and just think I need some reevaluation, pruning, and silence..if that makes sense.
“I’ll buy you your own” 😂😂😂 why did I resonate with this SO MUCH 😂 like take it or leave it lmfao . My mom is the same way but she the 3rd oldest of 4 🤷🏽♀️
Man, y’all are so insightful when it comes to conversing about things. Just everyday situational things like friendship that holds importance. I really resonated with Preston on this one. I’ve been in the Air Force for over 2 years now & it’s very hard to find a few good men who I can call friend…& just have some “Kingdom talk.” We’re all so busy trying to chase after rank & quality of life…that it becomes hard to just sit down, away from it all and debrief..outside of the uniform. Anyhow, I appreciate you guys blessing my Holy algorithm this morning.🙏🏾
I can totally relate, I was not raised to share everything. My mom simply thought we should have some things to ourselves, which I understand. Her teaching did not dissuade us from sharing or make us selfish. She simply allowed me to acknowledge that I deserve things for myself as well. I do have a giving heart, so thank God for that.
I love how this started. I'm currently in a season of sifting through connections. What's interesting to me is, I can literally feel God guiding me to reach out to certain people that share spiritual depth. Like our conversations may sometimes include complaining, but it always ends with scripture, prayer, and encouragement! But there are definitely levels. Friends I can do dinner with, friends I am intimate with, and so on. Communication and great listening helps! I love this!
This helped me. Making friends as you grow in your walk with Christ gets harder and harder as you mature, yet alone difficult when factoring in spouse, children, work,etc. This really helped me to understand balance and to not get frustrated when i cannot find true connection with Godly people. Sometimes even in our walk with Christ we may bump into Godly people who are just in different spectrums of our Christian faith making it challenging to make authentic and deep connection. Trust is huge, as you mentioned. Friends have to be and feel safe. But also being prayerful and trusting God even in the area of friendship is just as important as doing so for anything else in our lives. Thanks for sharing. Shalom 🙏🏾
this episode was much needed! i’ve been saying i want new & good friends but i also have realized that i lack in the area of being a good friend myself!
This is so good. I’m an older person and have been purposeful at making Godly friends. We weren’t taught how to make friends , maintain friends and know when to let people go. Being a part of a small group has blessed me with a circle of friend’s who aren’t one sided. Pray for God to send you friends. Transparencies and going deep kind of friends.
man!!!! For the past 2 months or so, God truly has been using this podcast week after week to answer the questions I have been asking and to speak into the very seasons I am in right now. This is so good and so timely. Thank yall for having this conversation!!!
I moved a lot as a kid. My sister's kept in touch with people way better than me. I still suck at this. I had a lot of opportunities to make friendships go deeper but I just didn't know how. I still don't know how other than just do what they want but I worry I'll be forgotten or I'll get irritated and treat someone bad. Unfortunately, I get very easily irritated with people, it's a terrible trait, even when I love them, but I don't want to lose them for silly reasons so I just don't get too close. I don't want to be rejected and I don't want to reject othes either. It's an odd thing.
Yoooo, I know what u mean! 😩 I realized that I would get irritated and not even meaning to i would take it out on them and just let friendship die out and then saw myself working so hard to please people and it wasn’t healthy and led to more hurt and toxicity. So I had to get to the root of where the irritation was coming from. Was it a trigger and why? Why am I scared to get close, and as a result pull away, and why? Why am I scared to stand up or keep my individuality- bc scared of loss. But it was the root of rejection.. but I developed and still developing an unwavering relationship with the Lord, gave those areas to God. Allowing Him to heal me, letting go of the past, and ask Him to bring people that are meant to be in my life and remove the people that do not benefit me and vice versa. Not everyone is ur assignment and is meant to be attached to u! Our identity, self worth, and validation doesn’t come from People but always and only from Jesus. And it’s a process! But ur aren’t alone ! I will be praying for u brother.
For me it's a combination of being afraid of rejection and also afraid of falling back into people pleasing. I'm not good at setting boundaries so I'd rather keep people at arms length and I don't like being emotionally depended on
That irritation may at the root really be anxiety because of the history of instability & disappointments. I'd ask God to help & ask Him to connect with you to a trauma- trained counselor, as I did.
Jackie I was just trusting my way through a trial n do you know watching ur sermons kept me when I couldn’t read n pray anymore 😭😭🙏 God plz continue to grow this ministry!!! Cause we need these words to help keep us clinging to Christ when we get tired of warfare❤️🙏
I needed this podcast on this exact day. Glory to God! Thank y'all so much for taking time out to get this message out. Love your chemistry, sense of humor, and wisdom.
This was an on-time word. I was starting to think I needed to end a friendship of 15 years because things feel different these days, but this episode helped me realize I needed to talk it out with her since I want us to be present for our future as wives and mothers.
Preston, I moved away from Chicago 40 years ago to a less populated town. People here say small town people are friendlier and more trustworthy than those from the big city but that is so untrue. Chicago has more integrity. People from other places have alternative motives one must be cautious about. Overall I may be biased but people from Chicago are some of the best people. No matter how “good” people want to believe they are they do not mutually benefit you they usually lack the capacity or resources to know how to be in a quality relationship. This was a hard difficult lesson I had to learn. This was a good and well needed discussion.
I glean so much wisdom from you two as a unit and individually. Thank you God for your obedience and discipline it takes to continuously show up for yourselves, each other and your supporters. Much Love
Yes I need the eyes to discern when God sends me friends and the faith needed to trust that they are safe. Thank you for sharing that Jackie. I didn’t have the words to express what I was needing.
Thank God for my friends.We are growing with each other and now very intentional about ensuring that we make God a key part of our relationship with one another
I ask myself that same question about being raised as an only child and being a good wife all the time. Thank you for being so transparent and honest. You both are wrecking my life in such a good way right now...I am Godly thankful!!!
This is good, a needed conversation! The part about having and building intimacy and communicating intention in friendships was something I needed to hear.
Oo this .. @ 26 minutes helped me come to terms with something I've felt guilt about since I got married. I had ended a highschool friendship after I got married, and I've felt guilty and maybe I did the wrong thing. But the person would had never brought me closer to God. And to my husband. I think I just felt rude for saying we've grown apart and have nothing in common. But I meant it to be respectful to one another. I didn't want to be fake. Or her for that matter. Grateful for this conversation.
Im fresh outta high school and deep in my faith more than I've ever been, but man, I have people at work im friendly with who arent christian and I have 0 friends but 20:51 was exactly what I needed to hear. Made something click in my soul
My daughter as an only child is the opposite. The Girl will share her meal with kids around before having the remaining for herself. Sometimes I'll have to warn her about sharing everything. But I love that she's got the heart of giving (just like her mother)
This episode is fantastic! A timely conversation I learned so much. I’m currently going through this with the end of a ten year friendship. I know God is trying to teach me something and make me grow💕
I relate a lot but thank God who’s working on me to be more free when it comes to being an alone child. But as for the side of friendship since elementary I have always prayed for the right connection of people in my life and God has always done that I have been connected to awesome pple and good friends I keep saying I am blessed. Friendship is also a two way and requires work to grow strong on both ends.🙏🏾
I am definitely going to ask god to send me friends like yall 😭 yall unit is so so beautiful… I need community , especially with my journey growing closer to god and trying to serve god i would be blessed to have friends like you guys
This conversation was real impactful as I have been sharing these same thoughts with my husband as we navigate changes in relationships. None of this is easy but worth understanding and walking through. Thank you for sharing.
I appreciated Jackie talking about losing friends because you know they don't help you grow in your relationship with Jesus. This year I had to lose some friends (after reading 1st Corinthians 5) and it was so painful but God really understood that pain and has been caring for me in the grief and is now guiding me toward people who will instead help me grow in my relationship with Jesus. What a wonderful shepherd.
GEEZ LOUISE how much I needed to hear this one. Friends are my area where I must continue to invite the Lord into. Thank you both for displaying love. ❤️
Been friends with my best friend for 13 years n we’re roommates but ever since I rededicated my life to Christ things been off n yesterday proved where our friendship stands Now leaning it to GOD TO MOVE OUT N FIND A NEW PLACE N PRAYING FIT A STABLE JOB TO COME THROUGH THIS VIDEO WAS HELPFUL ❤️❤️❤️
You guy's are a very unique and transparent young couple from God, and I'm 41 yrs of age and I'm learning something from what you guys are saying is helping me grow and aspects that I didn't know,You guy's are a blessing to this generation keep doing what you doing 🙏🏾🙌🏾❤️💯💯.
This was healingg, and helped me let go of some bitterness I have with someone who wasn’t showing up for me. Still praying for those godly friends and working on appreciating whatever love others have to offer even if it’s not a close bond . Thank you guys
Thanks for opening up on that sharing thing in the beginning. I completely relate with Jackie on that. I am not an only child but was raised as one being the youngest kid. Sharing in marriage is still a struggle for me, in fact I would rather 'buy him his own' than share mine. That's what I have hidden behind. But I think my daughter is slowly changing that. And its seeped into my friendships, that's why sharing myself with others has been super scary. being vulnerable has been hard, so I have told myself that I would rather manage alone, but I know that Christ has called me to connect and share, its hard yall
This blessed me. I agree with Preston that God is leading me and particular with who I have around me in this season. A particular type of friend. I desire depth in my friendships. Definitely need to be more prayerful in this area ❤️
This was interesting. I've never really looked at friendships that way. I have some amazing friends that I feel I don't spend enough time cultivating relationship with and I should probably be more deliberate about fixing that. But I also have walked away from people that made being their friend a very cutting experience. But the frame that you can be someone's friend but they can't be yours and, despite how draining it is, you still stick around is beautiful to me. It's tiring. It sounds exhausting, but it's also important to ask God if that's what you should be doing because he will grant you the strength you need. Overall, as someone who struggles to make friends and meet new people. I think this was interesting for me to sit through. The closest friend I have is someone I prayed for. A true blessing he has been to me. Honestly it feels like he's more of a blessing to me than I am to him and that hurts me deeply. So, I have seen the power of asking God to bless you with friends. Maybe I'll do it more often. I'm not the biggest fan of lurking in these comment sections, 'cause it feels like I'm just talking to myself and I might as well just journal about it, but, yeah. I'll leave this to linger on the inter webs. 😂😂
does it hurt bc u feel u don’t mean as much to him? or simply bc u can’t reciprocate all that u receive? i’d encourage a shift in perspective: u mentioned draining, tiring relationships earlier & now you’ve been blessed with one wherein u can rest. u can literally bask in an answered prayer. allow urself to receive in peace & be filled. u never know. maybe ur friend prayed to become a more valuable, nurturing friend & u are his gift as well.
Watching this friendship convo today Got me thinking of what God has been communicated to me ,but I feel like I have been ignorant I had to pause watching and went & to repent to the Holy Spirit because of my behaviour😭🥹 What a timely episode to watch Sending love from SA❤
Very good episode. I'm praying for some great friends. Let go of some weird friendships and looking for some game changers. I know they are out there. Iron sharpens iron.
This episode has truly blessed me. I've been praying about making friends. I feel like making friends when you are older it's harder. I just want to be surrounded by Godly purpose filled women.
THIS !!!!!
Amen 🙏 ❤ I feel the same
The truth in this
So much harder
You n me both!
"How you show up as a friend, helps your friends become better friends." Good stuff! So good.
Not really.
@@jemimakeston7827 It's true, I'm learning that now. People learn how to love by being loved. If you've never been shown love, you can't conceive it. it doesn't mean your friends will always do it but they'll know how.
@@taylorcamille5493 some people feel like that can’t be loved even if you love them well.
I agree with Jem. That's not always the case. I ALWAYS show up for friends and I don't ever see that in return. I'm always a giver but ppl tend to be taken advantage of. Im know in a situation where I have a so called friend who has shown jealousy and lack of support for me and I'm like I'm done
@@SMARAGH20 i used to have a similar problem. It really helped me to begin enforcing boundaries with everyone and working on my self esteem so I could be brave enough to enforce those boundaries. But please recognize that people still need to be loved. If loving them from a distance is necessary, do that 🤷🏽♀️. But
Luke 7:47 states that he who is forgiven little, loves little. So continue to show up for your friends, but make sure you have good boundaries. They'll protect you from users.
Also, if that person can't handle being your friend, love them from a distance. Speak well of them, bless them, send them, communicate your boundaries, and keep your distance. Don't let them make you bitter. How you love your friends is a gift. If they can't appreciate it, forgive them for that and keep it moving.
“Look for friendships that will last until you’re 80” wow that spoke to me!!
I love the ending when Preston said God is calling us to hard things, and hard things often produces great outcomes. Very profound!
Now at the age of 50 (unmarried) I wish I had been more intentional about friends. It is hard to meet friends when you're older because people are settled in their lives and it's hard to trust people (women at that) but I dont want to die alone without friends or a husband. We really do need people. ❤
Praying for you sister. Trust the Lord…One thing my mom told me is that when she was young and had committed to walking closer with the Lord, she prayed and asked the Lord for Christian friends (like Preston mentioned) and it was not long before He began to bring those Christian friends! This was when I was very little, so all I remember is my Mom having good Christian friends. Watching those relationships created a template for my friendships as I became an adult. I shared that to say to you: I just turned 48 and I’m also unmarried. I do have a solid community of Christian friends, and you can too! God answers prayer! What makes you different from Preston or my Mom? If you’re a Christ follower; Nothing. The Lord hears that concern and I believe He’ll answer. Blessings! 🙏🏽✝️
Along with the response that was given I also suggest, respectfully changing your mindset. If you feel like people can't be trusted, women or men then you won't be open when God starts sending people your way. If you're a Christian look for the fruit of the Spirit in those you want to be friends with.
@@taneyahunter8815 exactly. I agree with you
Just pray for what you want!! God answers prayer, I know because He is currently blessing me with new God centered friendships.
I pray you find peace that passes all understanding in Christ Jesus
OMG, what Jackie said about you shouldn't have to work so hard to make someone your friend...I'M GROWN". YES! Thank you for that!!!!
After I got saved 2 years ago I lost all my friends and God just told me to have peace being alone and not even pursue friendships. But now I'm trying to make friends with people who will encourage me and support my faith and it's not easy at all
Praying for you and for an abundance of friendships
@@ogechukwuokpala9607 thank you so much . I keep praying for it. God bless you . 🙏
Praying you get 3 good girlfriend who will pray for you and with you who will be a blessing to you
Amen . I receive it in the name of Jesus. . Thank you so much.
I went through the same thing. But after I really let go of my old friendships God blessed me with friends that love Him and I can talk about Him to.
Can’t express how much I love their union, I really pray that their marriage will always glorify God
Whew, this was so good! This a much-needed conversation because people think friendships are supposed to get easier as you get older. No, making time, being intentional, being receptive, and being communicative is WORK!
Facts sis!
Good work. Worthy work.
Mmmmmm. Jackie said it best… having friends because of their “style.” EVERYTHINGGGG is aesthetic now a days even friendship. Sad but true & it has many of us wanting that “Instagram, social media” type of friendship where friends are dressed up, clinking drinks & doing a day in the life videos lol
PHEWWWWWW I HAD AN EXPERIENCE W THIS!!!
I agree with Jackie that we need to pray about our relationships versus following a rulebook. I think as human beings we have a tendency to want a "how-to guide", "follow these steps" type of advice when it comes to life situations but as Christians we are called to check earthly wisdom with the Holy Spirit. Some situations may be toxic but if God calls us to it, He will give us strength to walk through it.
Yessss… many people think that time breads intimacy AUTOMATICALLY & it simply doesn’t. Intimacy had to be intentional- even when there’s chemistry. You can have a 20 year surface friend & you can have a 2 year friendship that you rely on without question.
You two were made for each other. ❤️
Nah they were not made for each other, they work hard for each other they choose to be with each other every day even in the darkest of days, that is compatibility finding what you can compromise on and just build each, that's why we have these two ❤❤ Iove them from Zambia, my wish is to meet them 😢
@@malalampakani6252 ❤️
Amen I needed this!
I saw myself battling with feelings of loneliness because I lacked friendship! But I am now in a season of God bringing me Godly friendships!
Grateful for the Godly friends who stuck around when I had nothing to offer at all and taught me how to show up for others in a way I didn’t know before. I struggle with friendships. I’m 29, and I fee like I only have capacity for a few friendships but my heart wants to be there for more friends. I need to pray more about this honestly.
Hi
Thank you for your honestly!!
Forrealll
It's crazy that we aren't taught to pray for our friendships the way we are, romantic relationships! However, the timing and topic of this video? God clearly told y'all to make it for ME...PERIOD! So, thank you for this. 🙏🏽💜
When Jackie spoke about cultivating long lasting friendships.. I felt that.
I've had so many friendships where I was drained and it's hardened me to the point where I no longer want to be emotionally available for friends. And I'm praying for God's healing
I hear this but God doesn’t want us to be isolated. I’m going to keep praying for healing and asking God for godly friends ❤
I low-key need a part two on this discussion! Navigating adult friendships have been a bit difficult for me. I'm not the best at keeping in touch. This was good, y'all touched on a lot of different aspects.
Preach fam lol
This was an awesome discussion. In regards to friendships the only thing I know is that you don’t know and you can’t trust anybody.
Absolutely loved how Preston is not afraid to be vulnerable and communicate with his male friends
This episode is everything. I've been praying for friend's like this. I feel like I've been so isolated for so long. Lord thank you for drawing me to this video. Goodness.
Only child?? Jackie has a brother 😮😮😮
I want to thank you two for staying true to Jesus and not giving into the world. Many “Christian” leaders are giving in. Thank you for glorifying Jesus and never being ashamed.it’s all about Him
Friendships are so important, and I make it my duty to invest in my friendships as I know God gave them to me as a gift. Friendships really help you to evaluate yourself, and they help you to grow and be better in other areas of your life. I am grateful for my close friends, best, friends, and associates. Personally, I do not take anyone that is my life for granted. Now, I will say this, and I know all women do not act this way, so I want to say because some women have been conditioned to prioritize romantic relationships over friendships, there is a pattern where many women do struggle to hold and make friends...... or even see the value of friendships... Yet, I think all the conversations we're having about friendships can resolve this. I also love the statement about how frienships are work. That statement is true because freinships are relationships, and we all know that friendships take investment.
When I say that this is RIGHT ON TIME! The Holy Spirit does not miss!! 🎯Thank y’all for this incredible message. I’ve been struggling in the area of friendships for quite some time, & this confirmed a lot of what God has been revealing to me.
📌
Same here!
Lord give me the courage to be faithful to what you are telling me. Lord, I have not had an intimate friendship before. I do not know how to look for a friendship or what they look like. So God, I pray for discernment in hearing your voice as guidance through comfortability. Remind me that you are after my whole heart in this process.
"we all just want to be known and loved" so so good!
19:10- when God schedules your play dates! 😂😮💨🙏🏽
I’ve been talking to my 8th grade students about this topic. I have had friendships that have lasted since middle school (30+ years), and I’ve taken on new ones and been adopted into family units in the years since, as well. But like Preston said, sometimes it’s about SEASONAL companions. “We’ll walk this leg of the journey together, and there’s no animosity when we start to keep tempo with another, or one person needs to stop and tie her shoelaces so she tells the other to go on without her, or one of us gets new wind and is ready to sprint.”
At the core of the content area that I teach (English Language Arts/ ELA) is our ability AND willingness to effectively connect, communicate and collaborate with those whom we will encounter throughout our lives. But if I called everyone that considers ME a friend everyday, I’d be on the phone all the time. The relationships IN my life right now are the people who, like Jackie said, have the kind of character that sees HEARTS. People who are weird and fun and who aren’t so self-centered that they spend most of their time judging everyone ELSE based what they bring to the table (aka, “What can YOU do for ME?”).
So I trust God to help me know when and how much to give, I talk to my people and listen to them (including what they’re NOT saying), and I trust that his promise to use it all for good (Romans 8:28) will hold true. I’ve only gotten better at it because of all of the opportunities for practice that God has given me! 😩😂 That, and the fact that I’m so focused on Jesus that anyone who’s walking with me can’t HELP but hear his name, see evidence of his faithfulness, and get just a taste of his love, filtered through my body-flawed, though it may be. 😮💨🙏🏽❤️ His love covers a multitude of sins!
"That, and the fact that I’m so focused on Jesus that anyone who’s walking with me can’t HELP but hear his name ... " This is me, and I love yhat God uses us through that quality. Out of the heart the mouth speaks
Good chat. I believe all friendships and relationships should have a purpose otherwise it's a distraction in your life.
Sheesh that’s good!
I prayed and asked God for something edifying to listen to. And this popped up in my notifications.
I love that Jackie compared building strong friendships with having a strong marriage. I wholeheartedly agree with this.
I also love that Preston talked about God calling you up higher in a place of friendship.
This is such a profound message.
I am especially glad I listened to it.
God Bless You.
I definitely will come back to this several times.
Jackie really told the truth about how some people, especially women, will ascribe motives because you aren’t showing up in a way they feel you should. I lost a friend that way. She tore me down and walked away. Couldn’t understand that I was going through a transition in life. It’s been months and I’m still grieving about our friendship because I really cared for her. Please pray for me.
I have a friend who used to be a virtual friend. She was virtual for 6 years... When we met at first time it was HORRIBLE! We saw all our flaws and it cost some time of praying and reorganization and, after 3 years we met again and it was AMAZING!
Today we still have to keep balancing our behavior, but we've been seen how God has been working through our hard friendship!!! I think that discernment is a key to know if the friendship is worth.
The heart of intimicy is communication and keeping a community functional and intentional about checking in with each other... Key word communication because that's one thing we really need to work on as a kingdom cause that will break barriers for people to get more vulnerable because they have the language for it...we need to talk
This blessed me sooo much! If I do not KNOW you, you are not my friend. A lot of “friendship” are just getting by off of “just vibes”, but they have no clue who they are actually associating themselves with. I understand friendship isn’t a quiz/race and should be grown organically, but they take work. I feel that if someone isn’t interested in getting to know me they are not interested in being my friend. We can be associates tho 🤷🏾♀️
I have been examining my family and friends, specifically friends lately. I am heading into my 50’s and I am particular about friendships. I find myself wanting reciprocation and meaning in my relationships. I don’t see any value in spending time with people that only take from me or cannot get deep. With this desire, it’s difficult to find new friends. I find myself running back to old friends that may not be fulfilling. It’s tough.
"You need good friends that will point you out to God when things get difficult " 👌
Thank you so much for going in depth and covering the nuance of this topic. Makes me feel less crazy for thinking about it to this degree. Community is so important to a healthy Christian walk, and I think it takes a great deal of discernment and prayer to have a balanced perspective in who and how to invest in the people around you.
This speaks to me it’s definitely been a prayer that I have life long friends
I have a best friend who I love dearly, but I recently got saved again and fully recommitted my life to Christ. One of the first things God told me to do was to let my best friend go. It tore me up inside, but I trusted in the Lord and new that he will restore our friendship. So, as I love my best friend from a distance (without any communication) I am praying to God to please save him. At least when we rekindle our friendship months or years from now we will be on the same page through Christ. I miss you Jay and always want the best for you 💜!!
The timing of your messages always hit! Thank you Holy Spirit❣️❣️
That’s so true! No one really says anymore, “hi, I would like to be your friend because i think we could benefit each other.” Kindergartners are better at this than adults, next thing you know…those same kindergartners are each others bridesmaids in their weddings 20 years later 😮
“How you show up as a friend helps your friends become better friends” 💯
This is such a great conversation!! Friendships are hard as you get older, get married have children etc. No one really talks about it. Well done 👏🏾
Interesting conversation. . I have kids, and a man, but I’m soooo isolated…. I have distant friends, but as I age, and as life goes on, it’s getting harder to maintain friendships….. and well… I’ll be honest…. I like being alone 😅… when I don’t have my kids around, all I want is some peace and quiet to do NOTHING…. I’m kinda over overextending myself to stay in peoples lives when they don’t even do the same for me.
As little as that seems and as hard as it sounds its true. And as Christians I find this very difficult because Jesus was OUTSIDE...
@@wilsonswife85 Perfectly said! I never really had a problem with being alone but now that my children are grown I don't want to be alone. I want to live outside like Jesus.😇❤
@@wilsonswife85 but He also stayed in solitude to stay in peace with the Father. So there’s no problem with choosing solitude over gathering sometimes
This! All of this!! All your comments reaonate!!....I have a nice circle of women but lately I have little interest in going too tooooo deep..as I have before. I have taken out alot of time to pour into them but the pouring definitely doesn't go both ways (with the exception of 2 from time to time but majority kinda cant especially because of where they are spiritually and in life..no shade just saying 1 still a side piece 1 hastly chasing money over everything 1 angry at men..but 1 spiritually above me and deep..1 trying to gain their spiritual footing which is beautiful)..
Overall, I feel like I'm a big WELL where folks come to fill their cup..but at this point with so many years of servitude and loyalty and pouring...the well needs some pouring into right?!
So I'm rocking with my husband and God..I need a break, and now at 38 (just turned a few days ago)...im tired and just think I need some reevaluation, pruning, and silence..if that makes sense.
I understand lol I enjoy being alone, but it's nice to talk to a friend now n then
“I’ll buy you your own” 😂😂😂 why did I resonate with this SO MUCH 😂 like take it or leave it lmfao . My mom is the same way but she the 3rd oldest of 4 🤷🏽♀️
Man, y’all are so insightful when it comes to conversing about things. Just everyday situational things like friendship that holds importance. I really resonated with Preston on this one.
I’ve been in the Air Force for over 2 years now & it’s very hard to find a few good men who I can call friend…& just have some “Kingdom talk.” We’re all so busy trying to chase after rank & quality of life…that it becomes hard to just sit down, away from it all and debrief..outside of the uniform.
Anyhow, I appreciate you guys blessing my Holy algorithm this morning.🙏🏾
Chase after God and He will add onto you.
I can totally relate, I was not raised to share everything. My mom simply thought we should have some things to ourselves, which I understand. Her teaching did not dissuade us from sharing or make us selfish. She simply allowed me to acknowledge that I deserve things for myself as well. I do have a giving heart, so thank God for that.
They both have such good chemistry. Very interesting about looking at a friendship from the side of being mutually beneficial to each other...
I love how this started. I'm currently in a season of sifting through connections. What's interesting to me is, I can literally feel God guiding me to reach out to certain people that share spiritual depth. Like our conversations may sometimes include complaining, but it always ends with scripture, prayer, and encouragement! But there are definitely levels. Friends I can do dinner with, friends I am intimate with, and so on. Communication and great listening helps! I love this!
“YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!” Lmbo that’s my favorite church phrase! It really does rev you up and get me started 😅
I can't even begin to explain how much I needed this right now🙏🏽🔥🙌🏽 This discussion was GOOD!
10 mins in and tears just started streaming down my face...this stuff is HARD but I needed to hear this and think deeply on it.
This helped me. Making friends as you grow in your walk with Christ gets harder and harder as you mature, yet alone difficult when factoring in spouse, children, work,etc. This really helped me to understand balance and to not get frustrated when i cannot find true connection with Godly people. Sometimes even in our walk with Christ we may bump into Godly people who are just in different spectrums of our Christian faith making it challenging to make authentic and deep connection. Trust is huge, as you mentioned. Friends have to be and feel safe. But
also being prayerful and trusting God even in the area of friendship is just as important as doing so for anything else in our lives. Thanks for sharing. Shalom 🙏🏾
this episode was much needed! i’ve been saying i want new & good friends but i also have realized that i lack in the area of being a good friend myself!
This is so good. I’m an older person and have been purposeful at making Godly friends. We weren’t taught how to make friends , maintain friends and know when to let people go. Being a part of a small group has blessed me with a circle of friend’s who aren’t one sided. Pray for God to send you friends. Transparencies and going deep kind of friends.
man!!!! For the past 2 months or so, God truly has been using this podcast week after week to answer the questions I have been asking and to speak into the very seasons I am in right now. This is so good and so timely. Thank yall for having this conversation!!!
I moved a lot as a kid. My sister's kept in touch with people way better than me. I still suck at this.
I had a lot of opportunities to make friendships go deeper but I just didn't know how. I still don't know how other than just do what they want but I worry I'll be forgotten or I'll get irritated and treat someone bad. Unfortunately, I get very easily irritated with people, it's a terrible trait, even when I love them, but I don't want to lose them for silly reasons so I just don't get too close. I don't want to be rejected and I don't want to reject othes either. It's an odd thing.
I really relate to this.. I moved a lot as a child also. But we will get through this! May the Lord guide us one step at a time.
Yoooo, I know what u mean! 😩 I realized that I would get irritated and not even meaning to i would take it out on them and just let friendship die out and then saw myself working so hard to please people and it wasn’t healthy and led to more hurt and toxicity. So I had to get to the root of where the irritation was coming from. Was it a trigger and why? Why am I scared to get close, and as a result pull away, and why? Why am I scared to stand up or keep my individuality- bc scared of loss. But it was the root of rejection.. but I developed and still developing an unwavering relationship with the Lord, gave those areas to God. Allowing Him to heal me, letting go of the past, and ask Him to bring people that are meant to be in my life and remove the people that do not benefit me and vice versa. Not everyone is ur assignment and is meant to be attached to u! Our identity, self worth, and validation doesn’t come from People but always and only from Jesus. And it’s a process! But ur aren’t alone ! I will be praying for u brother.
For me it's a combination of being afraid of rejection and also afraid of falling back into people pleasing. I'm not good at setting boundaries so I'd rather keep people at arms length and I don't like being emotionally depended on
That irritation may at the root really be anxiety because of the history of instability & disappointments. I'd ask God to help & ask Him to connect with you to a trauma- trained counselor, as I did.
@@tapinwithtiffany538 amen 🙏🏼
Jackie I was just trusting my way through a trial n do you know watching ur sermons kept me when I couldn’t read n pray anymore 😭😭🙏 God plz continue to grow this ministry!!! Cause we need these words to help keep us clinging to Christ when we get tired of warfare❤️🙏
This is such a great conversation. I encourage people that you cannot do this thing called life alone. We all need to have a community.
I needed this podcast on this exact day. Glory to God! Thank y'all so much for taking time out to get this message out. Love your chemistry, sense of humor, and wisdom.
This was an on-time word. I was starting to think I needed to end a friendship of 15 years because things feel different these days, but this episode helped me realize I needed to talk it out with her since I want us to be present for our future as wives and mothers.
Preston, I moved away from Chicago 40 years ago to a less populated town. People here say small town people are friendlier and more trustworthy than those from the big city but that is so untrue. Chicago has more integrity. People from other places have alternative motives one must be cautious about. Overall I may be biased but people from Chicago are some of the best people. No matter how “good” people want to believe they are they do not mutually benefit you they usually lack the capacity or resources to know how to be in a quality relationship. This was a hard difficult lesson I had to learn. This was a good and well needed discussion.
This was good! Especially the part about looking for it to prepare for friendships that outlive spouses and children🎯🎯
Love this!! community and friendships have been on our hearts lately!
I love the example of what a Godly marriage is meant to look like that you two bring to the table. It 💯 glorifies the Lord
I glean so much wisdom from you two as a unit and individually. Thank you God for your obedience and discipline it takes to continuously show up for yourselves, each other and your supporters. Much Love
Yes I need the eyes to discern when God sends me friends and the faith needed to trust that they are safe. Thank you for sharing that Jackie. I didn’t have the words to express what I was needing.
Thank God for my friends.We are growing with each other and now very intentional about ensuring that we make God a key part of our relationship with one another
I ask myself that same question about being raised as an only child and being a good wife all the time. Thank you for being so transparent and honest. You both are wrecking my life in such a good way right now...I am Godly thankful!!!
This is good, a needed conversation! The part about having and building intimacy and communicating intention in friendships was something I needed to hear.
Oo this .. @ 26 minutes helped me come to terms with something I've felt guilt about since I got married. I had ended a highschool friendship after I got married, and I've felt guilty and maybe I did the wrong thing. But the person would had never brought me closer to God. And to my husband. I think I just felt rude for saying we've grown apart and have nothing in common. But I meant it to be respectful to one another. I didn't want to be fake. Or her for that matter. Grateful for this conversation.
Im fresh outta high school and deep in my faith more than I've ever been, but man, I have people at work im friendly with who arent christian and I have 0 friends but 20:51 was exactly what I needed to hear. Made something click in my soul
My daughter as an only child is the opposite. The Girl will share her meal with kids around before having the remaining for herself.
Sometimes I'll have to warn her about sharing everything.
But I love that she's got the heart of giving (just like her mother)
Not even all the way through this dialog and gems on gems - this is good!
Great topic! Friends are important and spiritual discernment is most vital in friendship. God bless you both!❤
From The title alone I was like sooo timely for me. Something I been praying about. I'm not an only child but I used to struggle with sharing.
This episode is fantastic! A timely conversation I learned so much. I’m currently going through this with the end of a ten year friendship. I know God is trying to teach me something and make me grow💕
I relate a lot but thank God who’s working on me to be more free when it comes to being an alone child. But as for the side of friendship since elementary I have always prayed for the right connection of people in my life and God has always done that I have been connected to awesome pple and good friends I keep saying I am blessed. Friendship is also a two way and requires work to grow strong on both ends.🙏🏾
I am definitely going to ask god to send me friends like yall 😭 yall unit is so so beautiful… I need community , especially with my journey growing closer to god and trying to serve god i would be blessed to have friends like you guys
This conversation was real impactful as I have been sharing these same thoughts with my husband as we navigate changes in relationships. None of this is easy but worth understanding and walking through. Thank you for sharing.
I appreciated Jackie talking about losing friends because you know they don't help you grow in your relationship with Jesus. This year I had to lose some friends (after reading 1st Corinthians 5) and it was so painful but God really understood that pain and has been caring for me in the grief and is now guiding me toward people who will instead help me grow in my relationship with Jesus. What a wonderful shepherd.
GEEZ LOUISE how much I needed to hear this one. Friends are my area where I must continue to invite the Lord into. Thank you both for displaying love. ❤️
God sends confirmation in so many ways….I have recently been struggling with navigating friendships this definitely has helped
Been friends with my best friend for 13 years n we’re roommates but ever since I rededicated my life to Christ things been off n yesterday proved where our friendship stands Now leaning it to GOD TO MOVE OUT N FIND A NEW PLACE N PRAYING FIT A STABLE JOB TO COME THROUGH THIS VIDEO WAS HELPFUL ❤️❤️❤️
You guy's are a very unique and transparent young couple from God, and I'm 41 yrs of age and I'm learning something from what you guys are saying is helping me grow and aspects that I didn't know,You guy's are a blessing to this generation keep doing what you doing 🙏🏾🙌🏾❤️💯💯.
I just appreciate this so much!! Wisdom for all ages!! You are both my inspiration and truly God's messengers! ❤❤🙏🙏
27:34-27:49 THIS RIGHT HERE! Growth really allows you to see friendships from an aerial view. And I’m thankful for growth. 🌱
This was healingg, and helped me let go of some bitterness I have with someone who wasn’t showing up for me. Still praying for those godly friends and working on appreciating whatever love others have to offer even if it’s not a close bond .
Thank you guys
I’ll add it’s so hard to find friends that are not only church goers but are sold out for Christ.
Ditto. When they explained that surface level friendship explanation in the beginning that’s so true.
🎯🎯🎯
So True.
This.
Yes friendships take a lot of work. Best to ask the Lord for wisdom to see what kind of friend that person should be.
That “You Share” had me in tears 😂 I had to pause it to get myself together 😂❤️
This segment was a blessing! So insightful, thought provoking and real! Thank you Jesus!
Thanks for opening up on that sharing thing in the beginning. I completely relate with Jackie on that. I am not an only child but was raised as one being the youngest kid. Sharing in marriage is still a struggle for me, in fact I would rather 'buy him his own' than share mine. That's what I have hidden behind. But I think my daughter is slowly changing that. And its seeped into my friendships, that's why sharing myself with others has been super scary. being vulnerable has been hard, so I have told myself that I would rather manage alone, but I know that Christ has called me to connect and share, its hard yall
Really enjoyed this podcast. So relevant to the season i am in right now.
This blessed me. I agree with Preston that God is leading me and particular with who I have around me in this season. A particular type of friend. I desire depth in my friendships. Definitely need to be more prayerful in this area ❤️
You may have heard this a gazillion time, but man! Jackie you are beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was interesting.
I've never really looked at friendships that way.
I have some amazing friends that I feel I don't spend enough time cultivating relationship with and I should probably be more deliberate about fixing that. But I also have walked away from people that made being their friend a very cutting experience. But the frame that you can be someone's friend but they can't be yours and, despite how draining it is, you still stick around is beautiful to me. It's tiring. It sounds exhausting, but it's also important to ask God if that's what you should be doing because he will grant you the strength you need.
Overall, as someone who struggles to make friends and meet new people. I think this was interesting for me to sit through. The closest friend I have is someone I prayed for. A true blessing he has been to me. Honestly it feels like he's more of a blessing to me than I am to him and that hurts me deeply. So, I have seen the power of asking God to bless you with friends. Maybe I'll do it more often.
I'm not the biggest fan of lurking in these comment sections, 'cause it feels like I'm just talking to myself and I might as well just journal about it, but, yeah. I'll leave this to linger on the inter webs. 😂😂
I hear you 😊
does it hurt bc u feel u don’t mean as much to him? or simply bc u can’t reciprocate all that u receive? i’d encourage a shift in perspective: u mentioned draining, tiring relationships earlier & now you’ve been blessed with one wherein u can rest. u can literally bask in an answered prayer. allow urself to receive in peace & be filled. u never know. maybe ur friend prayed to become a more valuable, nurturing friend & u are his gift as well.
Watching this friendship convo today
Got me thinking of what God has been communicated to me ,but I feel like I have been ignorant
I had to pause watching and went & to repent to the Holy Spirit because of my behaviour😭🥹
What a timely episode to watch
Sending love from SA❤
Very good episode. I'm praying for some great friends. Let go of some weird friendships and looking for some game changers. I know they are out there. Iron sharpens iron.
Y’all are awesome!!!!! Thank you for being so transparent and genuine. Blessed every time!