Yeh they had it pretty bad... shame too, because they seem like they were one of the few legit Christian organizations that actually A: set out to do what they wanted to do and B: actually had good goals. I heard that a lot of the torture confessions were even made up, they were like "yeh these guys aren't talking, just cut out his tongue and show people that this is the man who confessed to kissing a dude." Funny story is that Friday the 13th gets its bad relation around the knights Templars. So the Grand Master of the Templars, Jacques De Molay and a bunch of his Templars were captured and tortured before eventually being burnt at the stake. The story goes, as he was being burned alive he cursed the French King and the Pope who sanctioned the Kings actions, that day was Friday the 13th. Well in about a year or so, both were dead in fairly weird or avoidable ways.Clement (the pope) died of disease within a year and the church that held his funeral was struck by lightning the day of his funeral and fucking burned to the ground and King Phillip died while hunting, not from a wild beast... but a fucking stroke. Also when Molay was burned, eyewitnesses said he showed "no fear" about being burned to death, fuckin badass
Fun fact - according to legend, when Louis XVI was executed, a Freemason leapt onto the scaffold, dipped his hand in the King's blood, splashed it on the king's crown and said "Jacques de Molay, tu es venge" which translates roughly into "thou art avenged". I mean, it's apocryphal legend, but the fact that Jacques de Molay's influence stuck around for nearly half a millennium is staggering... Also, sucks that Louis XVI died - he was actually a decent guy. So was Marie Antoinette... Man, they got a real bad rep. Oh, Jean-Baptiste Reveillon as well. … Sorry, I get excited and don't know when to stop.
lol you guys need to learn your history. The templars are known as one of the biggest groups of murderers all in the name of their imaginary spaghetti monster. That sir is not "good" so you're either ignorant of the facts or a special kind of stupid.
@@zephirol4638 "Ooooo, look at me. I'm so smart you guys! I repeated the satire words, that means I'm clever." Seriously, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a horrendously outdated meme. It just makes you come off as an arrogant, ignorant jackass who wants to look smart when really you're taking the piss. Also, being such an enlightemed skeptic as you are, you never thought to link the sources for the education of the people? Nah, fam. Just gotta take potshots at dead men to pump up my ego and let the whole world know about the euphoria of being a true, enlightened atheist. ( And therefore better than all of you normie morons. ) Seriously, there's debating and then there's grandstanding and all I can say is you really must love the taste of your own cock if you're gonna be auto-fellating in public like that.
More people have been killed in the name of god than any other reason in history. The crusades were a terrible campaign designed to make the church money. No, the templars were not good. They were ignorant, blind sheep murdering in the name of a mythic figure.
How to hide a beard bonus 14th century edition: use tar to style it to look like acral necrosis caused by the black plague so no one will want to touch you to arrest or torture you
Wear makeup to look as young as possible, dye the beard brown, stick little bits of wire into it hooked over your ears. If anyone asks you're underage and trying to sneak into the pub.
Beards are commonly outlawed in the Imperial Guard. I bet there's a few Commissars who can't grow a beard and go hunting to feel better. Citation: Gaunt's Ghosts in specific, and any common IG regiment (besides vostroyan) in general. +Ave Deus Omnissiah+ +Ave Deus Imperator+ +Ave Deus Mechanicum+
Wow I never expected to see a video like this where people weren't just shit talking the Templar's all day long. Thank you for this. Also it doesn't get better than "I am a committed Santa", people can say what they want but that's just genius.
Happy Christmas Karl and Brad! This is the one of the best new channels I signed up to this year! Love it and, believe it or not, I'm still enjoying the impressive Patreon perk I received, well worth my monthly contribution to Karl's beer fund.
@@8Rincewind Yeah, that gives them that not actually funny kind of funny. Facepalm-funny. Bad jokes are great. No joke is liked by everyone. So normal jokes split the room in those who like it (at least the one telling it) and those who don't. Bad jokes unite the room as it is everyone against the joke (including the one who tells it). Bad jokes and stale puns are the road to world peace my friend. 😜
I can't believe you guys left this out, but the Templars' headquarters were raided on Friday the 13th (October, 1307) which is why Fridays that fall on the 13th day are considered unlucky or ominous.
Would actual like to see an assassins creed game where they actually admit the Templar's are the good guys and assassins are just losers in hoods who stab people for money.
You forgot to mention the fact that as Jaques de Molay (their grandmaster) was being burned to death, he declared that God would kill King Dickhead (Phillip) and the then current Pope within a year... and it fucking happened!!!
its just like in family guy where tom tucker got fired and had to give up his reporter badge and mustache and he gets them back when hes rehired later the exact same dialoge just with a templar and his beard
There's an old bit of wisdom about borrowing/lending money and how eventually the debt can reach the point that it's cheaper to go to war than to pay it back.
"Far less intimidating and awesome looking than his name suggested", Said the man who looks like the hung over identical twin of the man in the portrait. His Majesty Karl of the Small Wood, The Talc King.
I'd wear a fur coat and tell them the beard was part of the coat. (Spoken in my worst fashion designer accent) What you don't have a beard coat Mr. Inquisitor? It's all the rage in Rome right now. Everyone who's anyone has got one!
I'm a bit late but if I had to hide a giant fuzzy beard I'd dye it grey and dress up as one of the Greybeards from Skyrim because nobody fucks with the Greybeards
Templar: *Shaving beard*
Guard: STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCU-
Templar: *Shaves beard*
Guard: Must be nothing.
Just like skyrim
Stealth 100
Thallan nerd
STOP you violated the law! Pay the co-
You have my ear citizen.
Should of paid the fine...
Those two men sharing a horse probably didn't help their defense during the slander of Philip
True
prequel to broke back mountain ,aka we were just trying to mount this large ,vascular ,hairy beast together please don't tell anyone
@@silverink1824 dark web'll help you with that xD
@@silverink1824 that's the thing, the dark web's always watching! (you will probably be put on a watch list if you visit the dark web though)
Yeh they had it pretty bad... shame too, because they seem like they were one of the few legit Christian organizations that actually A: set out to do what they wanted to do and B: actually had good goals. I heard that a lot of the torture confessions were even made up, they were like "yeh these guys aren't talking, just cut out his tongue and show people that this is the man who confessed to kissing a dude." Funny story is that Friday the 13th gets its bad relation around the knights Templars. So the Grand Master of the Templars, Jacques De Molay and a bunch of his Templars were captured and tortured before eventually being burnt at the stake. The story goes, as he was being burned alive he cursed the French King and the Pope who sanctioned the Kings actions, that day was Friday the 13th. Well in about a year or so, both were dead in fairly weird or avoidable ways.Clement (the pope) died of disease within a year and the church that held his funeral was struck by lightning the day of his funeral and fucking burned to the ground and King Phillip died while hunting, not from a wild beast... but a fucking stroke. Also when Molay was burned, eyewitnesses said he showed "no fear" about being burned to death, fuckin badass
Thank you for saying this. Also damn you for denying me my feeling super smart moment.
Fun fact - according to legend, when Louis XVI was executed, a Freemason leapt onto the scaffold, dipped his hand in the King's blood, splashed it on the king's crown and said "Jacques de Molay, tu es venge" which translates roughly into "thou art avenged".
I mean, it's apocryphal legend, but the fact that Jacques de Molay's influence stuck around for nearly half a millennium is staggering...
Also, sucks that Louis XVI died - he was actually a decent guy. So was Marie Antoinette... Man, they got a real bad rep. Oh, Jean-Baptiste Reveillon as well.
… Sorry, I get excited and don't know when to stop.
lol you guys need to learn your history. The templars are known as one of the biggest groups of murderers all in the name of their imaginary spaghetti monster. That sir is not "good" so you're either ignorant of the facts or a special kind of stupid.
@@zephirol4638 "Ooooo, look at me. I'm so smart you guys! I repeated the satire words, that means I'm clever."
Seriously, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a horrendously outdated meme. It just makes you come off as an arrogant, ignorant jackass who wants to look smart when really you're taking the piss. Also, being such an enlightemed skeptic as you are, you never thought to link the sources for the education of the people? Nah, fam. Just gotta take potshots at dead men to pump up my ego and let the whole world know about the euphoria of being a true, enlightened atheist. ( And therefore better than all of you normie morons. ) Seriously, there's debating and then there's grandstanding and all I can say is you really must love the taste of your own cock if you're gonna be auto-fellating in public like that.
More people have been killed in the name of god than any other reason in history. The crusades were a terrible campaign designed to make the church money. No, the templars were not good. They were ignorant, blind sheep murdering in the name of a mythic figure.
How to hide a beard bonus 14th century edition: use tar to style it to look like acral necrosis caused by the black plague so no one will want to touch you to arrest or torture you
CanadaJarod would require a lot of commitment to the role for sure hahah
There's a part of me that wants to look up "acral necrosis," and another part of me knows I really shouldn't.
Wear makeup to look as young as possible, dye the beard brown, stick little bits of wire into it hooked over your ears.
If anyone asks you're underage and trying to sneak into the pub.
Put a fake beard over my existing beard. Done
If you use the Cowl of Nocturnal then the guards will be chasing the Grey Fox and most likely forget the beard.
Honestly, whoever kills a man just because of his God-Emperor-Given beard is a H E R E T I C !
SUMMON THE INQUISITORS!
40K for life!!!
No one ever expects the Spanish inquisition
Heresy? ....HERESY!!!!!!!
Beards are commonly outlawed in the Imperial Guard. I bet there's a few Commissars who can't grow a beard and go hunting to feel better.
Citation: Gaunt's Ghosts in specific, and any common IG regiment (besides vostroyan) in general.
+Ave Deus Omnissiah+ +Ave Deus Imperator+ +Ave Deus Mechanicum+
Sikhs
Wow I never expected to see a video like this where people weren't just shit talking the Templar's all day long. Thank you for this.
Also it doesn't get better than "I am a committed Santa", people can say what they want but that's just genius.
I'd break every mirror and deny I had a beard when anyone said anything. Nope no beard on me. And walk off with super confidence
*grows beard to waistline*
“Oie cont, you touching me pewbs or me beard?”
*popo backs away slowly*
Happy Christmas Karl and Brad!
This is the one of the best new channels I signed up to this year! Love it and, believe it or not, I'm still enjoying the impressive Patreon perk I received, well worth my monthly contribution to Karl's beer fund.
I feel like I need more clarification on the footbones falling out
Sam Walsh whip the bottoms of their feet so badly that there was no flesh left to hold their bones in. It’s REALLY fucked u p
Daft Punk impersonation all day long. "I can't have a beard, I am a robot."
I would be in a full body costume at Disneyland. Or if all else failed change into a Mr. Blobby costume
BLOBBY!
They will just kill you for different reasons
Friday the 13th is known as unlucky because that was the start of the Templar hunt
Its always fun to go back and watch the older videos, the format just a little different. But you guys had your brand figured out pretty early.
Thats directly from terry pratchet that is. Put metal wires in the sides around your ears and they will think your wearing a fake beard.
8Rincewind Soul Music
@@8Rincewind You love Discworld and still you 8 Rincewind? Cannibal!
@@8Rincewind I know, I've read virtually all of them myself. 😉
Just thought a fan of Pratchett's might appreciate the pun.
@@8Rincewind Yeah, that gives them that not actually funny kind of funny. Facepalm-funny. Bad jokes are great. No joke is liked by everyone. So normal jokes split the room in those who like it (at least the one telling it) and those who don't. Bad jokes unite the room as it is everyone against the joke (including the one who tells it). Bad jokes and stale puns are the road to world peace my friend. 😜
Just get a bald cap but put it on your face instead. It will make you look like you have a big jaw lol
I would hide it under a face mask like they wear in Asian countries when they're sick
....and no-one would question that because healthy people wear those as well.
This didn’t age well
did you manage to do it?
Now no one would question it at all
I can't believe you guys left this out, but the Templars' headquarters were raided on Friday the 13th (October, 1307) which is why Fridays that fall on the 13th day are considered unlucky or ominous.
To hide a big, bushy beard, tie neat little braids vertically like corn rows down your face.
Instant Thanos cosplay as well.
So the templars are proof that having a business that focuses on pleasing the customers is an extremely successful business practice
Omg, the one video I have yet to watch from your archive was just suggested. My library is complete
I would get a silicon face mask to peel over my face and make it seem that I have really chubby cheeks
Or I could just claim brads face
I'm too drunk to think about "bones fell out of his feet," please don't :) thank UwU
I can't feel my face. I've got not much left to drink. Don't tell Mr and Mrs wolf.
@@lily91109 are you still drunk
So happy 2 see u guys getting more subscribers!! U are the best!! cant wait for you guys 2 get an hbo show that pays u obscene amounts off loot!!
I'd just stay in constant cosplay as Best Jeanist from MHA
Would actual like to see an assassins creed game where they actually admit the Templar's are the good guys and assassins are just losers in hoods who stab people for money.
"I must kill the heretic!"
"No Jean, you are the heretic!"
Then Jean was burnt to the stake.
You forgot to mention they were burned at the stake in Friday the thirteenth
How to hide my beard? Wear a helmet 24/7, Goblin Slayer style. Oh I have to take it off? I'm sorry, it's glued to my face.
You forgot to mention the fact that as Jaques de Molay (their grandmaster) was being burned to death, he declared that God would kill King Dickhead (Phillip) and the then current Pope within a year... and it fucking happened!!!
Enemy sees cross, surenders in heresy
I'd put a bowl underneath me at all times, put a pair of chopsticks in my beard and claim I'm a messy eater.
Templar= walking pawn shop that kills
This made me realize that, right now, reviewing geography, I could use some sabaton.
I wouldn't shave it I would just be like Wailord and use rollout to get away 😂😉 love this channel ♥️
9:28 "It must have been the wind." "I saw a mudcrab the other day, horrible creatures."
That wasn't the 1978 version of the Body Snatchers, it looks like a remake.
I was wondering how far I'd have to scroll for that! (the '78 version is also a remake, btw),
I'd hide my beard by wearing a helmet.
Don't hide it, battle to the death over a beard
A little late... but I would style my beard like tentacles. Then everyone would think I am Cthulu and leave me alone.
The Templar order originally a group of knights who escorted people to the holy lands
Knight fall is basically the story of Philip and the Templar’s it’s a very good series
Roll a nat 20 on my persuasion check and convince everyone they are only imagining it.
I would hide it in a stocking, glued to my face
Random english kid seeing undercover Karl: MOM SANTA IS SCOTTISH (and drinks like a camel)
I would clue hair to the rest of my face and tell people I'm related to bigfoot.
its just like in family guy where tom tucker got fired and had to give up his reporter badge and mustache and he gets them back when hes rehired later the exact same dialoge just with a templar and his beard
Guard :"Stay there templar ,you'll be arrested ! "
Templar:" But why ? "
Guard : " Your beard is too fabulouse . "
Merry Christmas guys , love your channels :)
Plus 1 for the dexter's lab beard reference.
Put a hat on it, bada bing bada boom
I’d have a mug ready at all times and stuff it in there and make it look like I’m have a drink
There's an old bit of wisdom about borrowing/lending money and how eventually the debt can reach the point that it's cheaper to go to war than to pay it back.
Dude thats why I fuck with you. I was thinking iron bank g.o.t and you said that shit hell yea
I like the Santa idea. Also I have a bushy beard and I feel bad for people who cannot have them ;-;
I had a huge beard, and hid it with the santa beard while I was santa!
Just deny the beard and hire people to agree with you to confuse the authorities.
This was uploaded on my birthday.
The iron king looks like lord farquad
id say i glued my dog 2 ma face
I wouldn't hide my beard. I'd die fighting so that the honor of my holy face armor was not tarnished by such heresy.
Why pretend to be Santa when you could be Dumbledore?
"Far less intimidating and awesome looking than his name suggested", Said the man who looks like the hung over identical twin of the man in the portrait. His Majesty Karl of the Small Wood, The Talc King.
I'd put my shirt over my mouth and pretend that everything is normal.
I'd wear a fur coat and tell them the beard was part of the coat. (Spoken in my worst fashion designer accent) What you don't have a beard coat Mr. Inquisitor? It's all the rage in Rome right now. Everyone who's anyone has got one!
Would wear a bear costume everywhere exept my face.
Hide my beard with either a painting pallet and an afro like Bob Ross or wear a big as nurse mask
I would dress like Gimli and just play that roll 24/7
drink every time he says “templar”
Oversized turtleneck pulled up to hide the beard
Dude you're shitting on that king's looks, but you look like him LMAO.
Gosh Arn is such a great movie
Become Santa
I would start The Beard Rebellion.
Oh, I'm not a Templar, I'm just Gandalf...
I would just put my hands on my face.
i would braid my beard hair to head hair and pretend to be a crazy person
I would claim to be a lumberjack.
I'm a bit late but if I had to hide a giant fuzzy beard I'd dye it grey and dress up as one of the Greybeards from Skyrim because nobody fucks with the Greybeards
So I watched for lions without any idea that it was a comedy so I was thoroughly confused
the templars were all killed on the same day all across globe. . . . it was a friday. . .it was the 13th. . .
No, wait, COMB OVER.
I'd wear a wizard hat and be Gandalf
0:11 Umm Karl are, are you ok? Do, Do you need to have a lye down?
My beard is naturally blonde and at a distance you can't really see it. Checkmate
They basically invinted double entry accounting
The legend of friday the thirteenth came from that as well
poke everyone in the eyes so they can't see it
This went up on my birthday!
His bones fell off due to a specific type of torture where a leather shoe was placed on the foot, followed by boiling water.
I searched up assassin's creed fact fiend and got this
I was playing Assassin's Creed 2 while I watched this.
If Your Dad Doesn't Have a Beard, You've Got Two Mums.
If I blind everyone else, they can't see I have a beard.
I'm trying to grow my beard. ( knock knock knock) FBI OPEN UP!!!
I'd just say I help test out the razors for Gillette or Dollar shave club
I'd hide a beard under a large scarf, tall collared shirt, or a medical mask. Just let people think you're sick and/or just really effing weird.
"or a medical mask" that aged well xD