@@Shyskynarwhal me tooooo, I feel like nothing is enough/what i want even when it's enough and what I long for.i just think too much like wtf is wrong with me🤣😓
@@nickeni3050 yeahh, i get bored of them so fast after I know they like me , like I know they’re a good person and all but I just I just lose feelings LMAO
when he said, "INFPs are not naturally the kind of people who are... leading a conversation... asking a bunch of questions... trying to dig deep into the other person... INFPs are just like, 'I feel like that might annoy them.'", that hit me REALLY hard
Are you scared of commitment because you're kinda commited to your single life, you're afraid of rejection or a relationship ending, or you just haven't found someone worth commiting to ? It's something worth reflecting about IMO because you have probably the same needs of connection as most humans, and deserve to find some love ❤️
Same, I think people will judge me as harshly as I secretly judge them and I've realized I am really afraid of people acting towards me as I sometimes react internally to the same things
Exactly! I'm extremely judgemental, eve if I dont hold flaws against people I admittedly seek out ros and cons of people in depth and the idea of someone doing that to me who WILL hold things against me when theyre bad but human... scaryyy
1. Impatient for real love. 2. Not showing enough emotions. 3. Worried about being judged, but its about connection. 4. Not asking enough questions. 5. Stuck in emotions from the past. 6. Rejecting too quick. 7. Not taking advice. 8. Down on yourself. 9. Getting bored easily. 10. Accept yourself and your weirdness.
I used your list and expanded it: 1. Impatient for real love. You want to be amazed, but sometimes you need to wait a bit, to feel it. 2. Not showing enough emotions. Express my feelings because I am an introvert, fake being extroverted to make people relate to you, even if it feels silly 3. Worried about being judged, but it's about connection. INFPs feel like everyone is watching them, amplified spotlight effect, but most people dont care. Not everyone is a match, dont be afraid to be judged and rejected. 4. Not asking enough questions. Force me to ask questions, even if it seems silly. It's about showing interest. If you don't do it, it seems like you don't care. "I value what is happening in your life" 5. Stuck in emotions from the past, in past relationships or a fantasy of the perfect relationship. Expectations shouldn't be based on past/imagination, but on reality. Focus on the facts and don't compare it to other people / relationships 6. Rejecting too quick. Some dates or just bad, give them a chance. Maybe you didn't now you liked this particular kind of person. Maybe your date just had a bad day. If you don't feel the high yet, give it time. 7. Not taking advice. INFPs know themselves very well, and may be overconfident in their opinion about things. We are great listeners, except when someone tries to give us advice. Just give it a chance, if someone gives you advice. 8. Beating down on yourself. INFPs don't respond well to other people trying to pull them out of a slump. Think: What is my ultimate value, what do I really want? You need to stop beating yourself down, and start being true to your values/words. People feel when you are down, it is not a sexy look. Tell yourself: I don't need the validation, I am good, and I got it together. 9. Getting bored easily. We want romance, high emotional state, want to feel deeply. But first dates can be boring. INFPs are averse to mundane things like small talk. But it's okay to have some small talk, and some meh first dates. Think: I am getting to know people, I am just enjoying my life and having an adventure. 10. Accept yourself and your weirdness. xNFx are particular weird, we have to access who we are. We need to find someone who is also weird, or someone that likes our weirdness, someone that our opposite (I am hoping for an ENFJ ;D). We struggle with reality and think people don't get us. Dating sucks, it's okay, one day you will find the right person
Same. I struggle with having self esteem, and if I don't like my body, how do I expect someone else will? Why would I have certain expectations for a partner but not expect the same for myself? I would like to at least learn to feel more attracted to myself. I want to learn being confident and less concern about others' opinions.
As an INFP: I’ll add another. 11: Stop trying to please the other person all the time. We often want to project the most pleasing image of ourselves possible so we can be liked, and we obsessively internalize every perceived change in tone and believe we’re hurting or disappointing someone when we’re not. What we need to realize is that other people don’t necessarily WANT a perfect person who always says the right thing; they want a unique person they can invest themselves in. Our flaws and insecurities and awkward moments are okay and natural; everybody has them, not just us. So be yourself. If they’re right for us, they’ll accept us. We can’t please everybody.
It scares people off. Now I’m terrified of deep love, because I had it I felt (with an ISTJ), we broke up, and I’m worried that’s gonna happen again with anyone else I meet..
actually is it weird that i can see strangers in my dream? literally have a dream everyday of a person, i met while going to my dream university. dreaming of eating oreo cheesecake and double chocolate with him. iam so serious about love. but in this busy world iam afraid no one is serious about love. love is wanting to bake someone a meal and they loving it. love is like creativity. all i want is someone. love is not expressed through words, it's the damn actions. love is working harder, because you wanna settle down. true love is ethereal. i always felt that for that person.
Mollie Tenpenny i was until two days ago ’ assuming adorable infp was always dating the most adorable and very close to a fairy tale life... :/ um not my most logical ..
😂😂😂😂😂 I literally just rejected someone... But in my defense, I wanted to be his friend, he wanted more do I got annoyed and now I don't even wanna be his friend
I feel like we’re just walking contradictions lol. We need validation but absolutely hate attention. We are some of the most selfless people but at the same time can’t get out of our own world and don’t really think about others feelings. Or this is just me being crazy
Me: “It’d be cool to meet someone, at least like a friend I guess.” Also Me: prefers own company, but of a social hermit/homebody, is ace and gay, avoids social media, could live as a crazy old cat lady and die happy, what do people my own age even like to do?, can live vicariously through shipping others, meh I could date in my thirties I got time...
As an INFP I read a quote from a movie and it stuck in my head.. “ that is your problem, you don’t wanna be in love , you wanna be in love in a movie “ 😭
Me, a happily married INFP, watching this, still amazed that I made it here. Still amazed that my spouse loves me, despite how much I disappoint them by being insane, forgetful, and super emotional. Only by the grace of God and more courage than I’ve ever used for anything else in my life! 😅😵💫
As a fellow believer, I noticed that it's easier for INFP females to get into relationships, not so much for INFP males. Because INFPs exhibit the most feminine personality and it's not really suitable for guys to be feminine (i.e. compassionate, expressive, nurturing, empathetic).
@Stewie Griffin Oh dear, I feel you man. Recently, one of my INFP male friends broke up from a 4-month relationship. His ex-girlfriend was the assertive and dominant one. Before they got together, it was his ex who initiated the relationship with him. Usually, the more masculine girl would be attracted to the feminine guy.
@Stewie Griffin Yeah it sucks, but that's the thing, society should disconnect the idea that expressing feelings, being empathic, or nurturing are feminine characteristics. It's not healthy for men as well
I always feel uncomfortable because i always feel like everyone is watching me. My mom says im paranoid. My movements becomes stiff and animated and so a lot of people think im weird
This is how I felt when I visited the US for the first time. I went to a City Club, I tried to not catch anyone's attention (but my family was SO noisy, I felt so embarrassed).
My problem is that I listen to the other person's problems, no problem, but if I say anything about my own feelings, immediately afterwards I regret it. And then it's a step forward, ten backwards.
I was like,. Frank's vendetta against INFP again. I think they are single because you can't have a big wedding during a pandemic! Oh, wait, wait.. It was nice. Well what do you know.😀 Frank looks too happy! You sly dog! Looks too satisfied here. He won't tell us anything about it! 👂 We're trying to hear between the tones. Is that a silk hankerchief?
1. 1:30 you want a deep love and you're too impatient to get it 2. 2:53 you don't show enough of yourself 3. 4:20 you're too worried about what others think of you 4. 5:40 you don't ask enough questions 5. 6:50 you can't move on from a past relationship or fantasy 6. 8:28 you're too quick to reject people 7. 9:50 you don't like taking others' suggestions/advice 8. 10:55 you get too down on yourself 9. 13:18 you don't like small talk 10. 14:43 you're weird and that's ok :)
I am an INFP And ... I am single because: I am afraid of REJECTION I OVERTHINK too much I most of the time suffer with SOCIAL ANXIETY I don't think I am capable of being loved. I have very very Low CONFIDENCE I think I am not charming enough for a girl. And many more .
my problem is that i feel like no one cares enough to know about how i feel inside, I'm always showing a different side of me to people because i know they don't want to hear about what i feel in a certain situation. i listen to my friends all the time but when it comes to me, they seem like they're not interested and I don't wanna burden them. so i just deal with everything alone to the point i talk to my surroundings more than my family or friends.
Welp, you're not alone. It sucks sometimes & it can be a burden to carry your friend's problems & negativity around. But I also wonder if the people I know who don't seem to care just seem that way on the outside. Like what he said about infp' s & their tendency to keep their actual feelings on the inside, making it seem as if they don't care. Idk, people are confusing 🙃.
I have this issue but I also find that I’m at fault for this. I want people to look at me and know something is wrong but in turn I’ve spent a long time learning how to mask my emotions. I’m so dull that no one knows the difference. I am positive that for you and for me that opening up will not burden anyone. Your friends and family aren’t just there for the happy times. They are there for you for the sad times. They will not know what’s wroug with you if you do not tell them what’s wrong. This isn’t a tv show where your best friend takes one look at you and says exactly what you need to hear. That’s something we have to accept.
INFP me: I want to be seen, truly seen... but I don't want to be looked at. I want deep conversations... but without having to speak. I want to see the world... but I also tire easily so maybe let's not leave the house today. You catch my drift? It's easier to daydream about 'the one' and just live there instead. I'm glad I found this channel. I thought it was only comedy sketches at first, but then found the 'armchair Frank' videos - thinking they'd just be parodies, but they turned out to be so real and honest instead; they've given me some much-needed comfort somehow. Now I can pretend to have deep conversations with FJ, without having to talk. Really, thanks for your content and for being so genuine. Hope you never delete the older videos.
The pain arrives when you actually find yourself good with a person and you start to think about them a lot but then you realize that for them isn't the same, so you are forced to repress your feelings because you don't want them to feel awkward about you...from a certified INFP
Oh my god I’ve experienced this, the realization that it was just me feeling everything so intensely brought me crashing down. I feel like I’m always setting myself up for disappointment.
And at the end you really try to push that back, but you just can't. So you are like there loving someone that doesn't feel the same way and don't find interest in everyone else lol
FR. This happens to me a lot with one of my friends. I'm constantly thinking about her and what I could give her, I think of her when I see sunsets, when I listen to certain songs or read some cute quotes, and I feel like she doesn't feel the same about me, so I'm scared to express all this love I feel, it sucks.
me too. I am learning boundaries, because one of the reasons I lose confidence is because my sense of self and inner voice grow unclear, I hear the other person way too clearly and I get resentful.
Frank: "You don't show enough of yourself" Me, an insecure INFP: "Why would anyone in my relationships want to know things about me? I'm not that interesting..."
This is honestly me. I always think I'm so boring so I always think "Why would anyone be interested in me in the first place? I'm quiet, haven't done anything outstanding, and when I do talk it's mostly stumbled words and random outbursts." 😅
Its funny because usually INFPs have so many hidden talents and unique interests that it certainly makes us more than ‘boring’... but when it comes to talking about those interests and hobbies most of us just prefer to avert and talk about the person in front of us instead 😂 Its funniest when theres 2 INFPs together and they keep going back and forth between trying to avert the topic from themselves and trying to make the other more comfortable etc but its contradictory and like an endless cycle 😂😂😂
I am an infj, and some of my favorite people are INFPs. terrific people...very very interesting! Love actual conversations with INFPs...not surface level...actual conversations. Keep your head up. The universe is just weeding out the people who are superficial and damaging for you, you sweet INFP.
A friend of mine said exactly that this week "you always listen to me, but I feel that you never talk about yourself" and I just answered "It's not that I don't trust you enough, I'm just not interesting at all. I have nothing to tell you"
Same. But 2 days ago I decided to go for the guy who actually liked me and now we are together so idk maybe try out going for the ones who like you and maybe you’ll like them too
oh God, hate small talk so much. It feels so good to be with someone and not talk at all. The other day someone told me "we had been together for a while and didn't talk all the time, there were long silent moments" i didn't even notice.
me an infp liking small talks... of course, only when I'm texting on my phone with people I like to talk to. I hate small talks in real life. When I have small talks I go oh god what do I do now this is awkward and when we settle down on our phones I'm happy:)))
I'm an older INFP and all of these things were true for me at one time. My problem was always that I jumped into relationships too quickly, the whole "all or nothing" mentality. These days I see being "weird" as one of my strengths, and the interesting thing is that men seem to initially find it attractive but then seem to decide they want a woman who might be a bit more boring, but who is more practical. Which is fine, because that's not me, and I will never again try to force myself into a more practical mode!
"You won't feel much in the early stages of dating" Me: But that's boring i'm out fr tho lmao if I don't feel anything for the other person I just reject them, I think it's a waste of time to be with someone if I don't even feel anything
I don’t like dating sites or when you are actually on the lookout for a boyfriend/girlfriend. I think relationships need to start out as real friendships and then grow from there. It needs to be raw. 😊
Before watching the video, I'll try to answer myself. As an INFP, I think because (1) We know exactly what we look for in a person/relationship. This cancels out many possible partners easily. (2) INFPs don't play around and are not for casual dating. INFPs are only in it for long term and serious relationships. We are always in search for the "one". (3) INFPs easily forsee what could go in a relationship, the conflicts, matching of personalities, values etc. (4) INFPs could set a pretty high standard as they do for themselves. This is due to their idealistic and perfectionistic tendencies. (5) INFPs can take a long time to open up. They can be highly suspicious to anyone's intentions. They are always checking if someone's being genuine or putting on a show. Consistency and patience are key in getting your INFP. (6) INFPs are quiet and will not strike first for a conversation even through moments of awkward silence unless they find you interesting or kind (we won't be quietly rude to nice people). (7) INFPs could day dream their relationships with potential partners but won't take the necessary actions in the real world. (8) INFPs are individualistic and may not find the need or prioritize to have someone in their lives. They don't expect or depend to anyone their own happiness. (9) INFPs can be oblivious to others liking them. They won't believe you like them unless you tell them directly or show clear signs such as giving flowers but anything niceties will only be perceived as niceties. Tell your INFPs straight you like them or else they'll think you're only being friendly. (10) INFPs can be hard to read. INFPs may seem neutral even to the people they like. They may be giving the wrong impression or signals or may come as off to the people they like. You won't even know an INFP likes you.
Ohhh maaanhhhh,,,,,,i,m like this its to true ...i avoid my crushes even when they show intreasts in me....i avoid them and testing them ...only i open up to them after i understand they are worthy for me...but i daydream them ....because in fantasy world any thing possible....we can see them as like we want..we can create our own characters to them....actually we are in virtual playground managed by our mind...we are literaly god in there...while we daydreaming...our life is a miracle...we are one of a kind...proud of it...
That 6th one absolutely KILLS it for INFP males; we're VERY RARELY going to take that leap, and it takes A TON of mental prepwork to even consider. With extroverts, they're typically more chill about it, whereas people like INFPs have the habit of being awkward and stumble over their words a lot. It's seen as a weakness by many, and while there's nothing wrong with it, it makes it all the harder to express ourselves like we want to.
I'm here as an ENFJ trying to get a better understanding of a girl I've started seeing who is an INFP. Apparently our personality types are supposed to be a good mix so I'm trying to make an effort to make her feel as comfortable as possible, especially since she seems to have low self esteem when it comes to her appearance, intellectually it's a different matter. Personally I think she's adorable in every sense of the word
My mom be like: Why are you still single? You should be married now. Why no one of my children are like me who got married at 20?! LOL I don't think she meant it but more like she wanted children in our home. It's just too bad for her that I ended up INFP XD
Damn accurate.. However, in my past experiences when I gave relationship a shot even if I didnt feel everything is right in the begining, it ended after few months.. couldnt stand that half way feeling and no real interest. Maybe I am really selfish for not feeling anything, but I can be either 100% or 0% interested in someone romantically. Hope that is not some disorder lol
@@VivaCohen probably not, but then we'll randomly remember it at a later point in or lives and be like "Damn, I should've listened to that advice," and then stay up all night thinking about it
As an infp, the "lose interest easily" is my biggest problem. Like, i start like an person so i try make the person like me, but when the person stars like me I just "eww" and fell bad for making a person fell in this way :(
I think we feel emotions at a very nuanced level and it's hard to put them to exact words, and we don't like it when we try to express emotions and people misunderstood it as something else.
I can put my emotions into words well but when I do, people start to worry about my mental health 😂😭 They don't get that that is my normal and I feel misunderstood and put inside a box... again.
Yeah, I don't know how to name my emotions, and I'm afraid that if I do and I name them wrong I'll feel it a lot stronger than it actually is, or something like that.
@@kaoriheartfilia2783 Debatable, but you're still your own main character, and most antagonists think they're the protagonist anyways soooo HAH! Wishing you all the best reluctant anti-hero!
@@kaoriheartfilia2783 Idk, got tired of the hopeless INFP vibe, my life started feeling Kafka-esque without any of the romanticism. Just kinda started doing little changes and here I am lol, nowhere near where I wanna be, but at least I feel okay-sh?
My personal problem as an INFP is that the idea of just having some random boyfriend with whom I’ll stay a very little amount of time isn’t what I want at all... If I have to find someone, I want it to be real and for a long time, so basically, I’m scared Oh and I fear being judged also
@@zebryl yeahh I got u guys, but I think that maybe opening up to this kind of relationships is not completely bad, one can learn a lot with a 3 months relationship. As an INFP, I recommend the experience for personal growth.
The thought of dating someone like what you see in the Netflix shows generally where they just have no passionate conversations, no philosophical talks, and just looks superficial scares me.
It kinda goes like this for me: I notice something admirable about someone and start to look up to them, when I do that i build them up in my head, I put said person on a pedestal and idealize them when I notice that they really aren't the person I had imagined and built up in my head I feel an extreme sense of loss, this happens with situations too in the end I always end up grieving the loss of something non-existent.
So true. Like, when people ask me "and what have you been doing lately?" i don't know what to say. Like, do i tell them that i had a 2 hour hypothetical debate between my favourite book characters that have never interacted with each other inside my head? Or is it better to say that i have cleaned the house and avoid any weird looks?
Me too!! Revealing myself to someone has to feel more comfortable, and that sense of comfort takes some time in most relationships... so doing this in a date can feel weird and sometimes inauthentic, but I’m willing to try to push myself a little bit in a more open way! Even though it’s so hard!!
30 yr old INFP, still single. This rings true and it’s funny looking back at all of my relationships. I’m guilty of all these things. I also notice I will sabotage a relationship or cut myself off from them suddenly because I fear I’ll be rejected by not only the person I’m dating, but their family as well. I’m an actor and a writer, which fits my INFP personality, but at the same time I fear not being good enough for someone’s daughter. My siblings are doctors, lawyers, and dentists, and here I am still wondering how I’m going to support someone else, let alone myself? So to avoid that pressure and expectation I just jump ship in the relationship before it gets any more serious, or I date people who don’t have the best father figures because I feel like there isn’t an expectation to meet.
I had to learn how to do this by watching my extrovert sister. My default is to think about my own response or feeling or experience of something and relate that back to the other person, or just wait for them to ask me questions. I have to consciously remind myself that to others, this might look like I'm self-absorbed.
Totally! And then thoughts come by like: What will I ask? Will I look smart enough? Should I have asked this previously? We haven't spoken for a day now maybe it's too late and he is back on dating apps finding greater women out there? And then "maybe it's ok, I felt in the beginning he did not fit all of my perfect top 100 attributes I'm looking for at a partner" or "last time we met I felt I liked him a bit, and he even cooked for me while I was working but maybe it was just that"? Or "why doesn't he express what he feels about me? (we have had only a few dates lol)"... "And he said he would be busy working hard but he could have said something more romantic after we met or how exciting it was to see me again" and blablabla lol sometimes stuck in this loop instead of letting time pass, without rushing things and more important being spontaneous and expressing myself fluently as We often do as infps when we have other relationships with close friends and family, sometimes more easily showing who we are
It is true that INFPs, at least when young, have a propensity to worry too much of what others think of us however as one matures, it matters so much less. If you are a young INFP I would strongly suggest that you concentrate on what you think of you and be kind to yourself. We tend to have a very self-critical inner voice already, intrinsically aware of what our weaknesses are. Work on your weaknesses, embrace your strengths.
About number 6. Whenever I gave a second chance to person...it has never worked out. And then I'm angry at myself that I have ignored my gut feeling. I think that INFP's have strong and pretty correct intuition. And that's why we make conclusions quickly. It's just the energy that we feel around that person...it's not judging their behavior or their physical look.
Yep...been trying to listen to my intuition a lot more these days and it's amazing how accurate it can be. Most of the time if someone gives me an off vibe I'm right on the money. Regret not listening to that gut feeling more in the past. It's there for a reason.
Not true at all. Don't know what INFJ's you are talking to, but they are probably not INFJ, OR you are not "true " enough in your very energy for that "INFJ" to "open up". I do see the "INFP" fitting that 3rd row saying "No" however. But yes, INFJs are private too, overall.
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson so they would say no then. That whole passage was just a roundabout way of saying INFJs are private and therefore would say no.
I recently did a personality test just to see and got INFP. Figured I’d do some research on it and it all makes sense. I’m happy I’m not the only weird one that’s still single that understands these point lol
Frank James: why are you single? Me: I couldn’t leave the house during lockdown to meet people. (Me thinking): although I didn’t leave the house before lockdown anyway...
I wish soulmates were real where we could actually identify our one ideal true love and not have to go through the pains of wading through the dating pool
It’s telling how many INFP’s like myself that are commenting do not use their picture for their profile pic, lol. It took me forever to learn it’s ok to just take a date to a yogurt shop sometimes. I always felt like the date had to be elaborate or it was useless. I scared many girls away in the early stages. At least I rarely got stuck in 20 questions mode. After 4 - 5 questions about work and hobbies I would have to go deep and ask questions like, “What gives you purpose and meaning in life?” At least that is a good trait in building relationships. Many women seem to appreciate that line of questioning more.
Interesting points! I'm a married INFP, husband and I have been together almost 16 years now and I consider myself extremely lucky to have found "la perle rare" as we say in French. Here are a few things that contributed to making our relationship possible and long-lasting: - We met online on msn through a game. We wrote to each other for months before meeting in person. We already had a connection, the only question was would we like each other physically (neither of us knew what the other looked like). Long story short, we did. - Although it took me years to open up to him (because I feared once he knew the "real" me, he would realise that he didn't actually love me), he was patient with me while pushing me to share my feelings and thoughts. And most importantly, he showed a keen and genuine interest in what was happening inside my head and never judged me. Like I said, "la perle rare"! - In time, I've learned to communicate better and to not keep things bottled up inside. And it feels so liberating to feel comfortable enough with someone that I feel safe just telling him what's on my mind even when I haven't processed it to the end. To sum it up, he's not only my husband, he's also my best friend (and I am his). - And last but not least, we share the same values and ideals. Before meeting him, I was convinced that I wasn't made for love relationships and I would end up living alone. I now think I'm just not made for the shallowness and uncertainty that come with conventional dating and I have a feeling this is true of most INFPs.
I'm 33, not married, don't have kids. dating in your 30s is hard. hard is an understatement. it is excruciating. it is a bunch of hurt people, trying to not get hurt again.
Notes: 1. Impatient for real love. You want to be amazed, but sometimes you need to wait a bit, to feel it. 2. Not showing enough emotions. Express my feelings because I am an introvert, fake being extroverted to make people relate to you, even if it feels silly 3. Worried about being judged, but it's about connection. INFPs feel like everyone is watching them, amplified spotlight effect, but most people dont care. Not everyone is a match, dont be afraid to be judged and rejected. 4. Not asking enough questions. Force me to ask questions, even if it seems silly. It's about showing interest. If you don't do it, it seems like you don't care. "I value what is happening in your life" 5. Stuck in emotions from the past, in past relationships or a fantasy of the perfect relationship. Expectations shouldn't be based on past/imagination, but on reality. Focus on the facts and don't compare it to other people / relationships 6. Rejecting too quick. Some dates or just bad, give them a chance. Maybe you didn't now you liked this particular kind of person. Maybe your date just had a bad day. If you don't feel the high yet, give it time. 7. Not taking advice. INFPs know themselves very well, and may be overconfident in their opinion about things. We are great listeners, except when someone tries to give us advice. Just give it a chance, if someone gives you advice. 8. Beating down on yourself. INFPs don't respond well to other people trying to pull them out of a slump. Think: What is my ultimate value, what do I really want? You need to stop beating yourself down, and start being true to your values/words. People feel when you are down, it is not a sexy look. Tell yourself: I don't need the validation, I am good, and I got it together. 9. Getting bored easily. We want romance, high emotional state, want to feel deeply. But first dates can be boring. INFPs are averse to mundane things like small talk. But it's okay to have some small talk, and some meh first dates. Think: I am getting to know people, I am just enjoying my life and having an adventure. 10. Accept yourself and your weirdness. xNFx are particular weird, we have to access who we are. We need to find someone who is also weird, or someone that likes our weirdness, someone that our opposite (I am hoping for an ENFJ ;D). We struggle with reality and think people don't get us. Dating sucks, it's okay, one day you will find the right person. This is based on the comment of @Suleiman Beshir , but I added more important information. Have a great day.
INFP: But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo... I know Radiohead is not your cup of tea, sorry for that Frank :'(. But when you talked about the last point, this song came to my mind.
The biggest thing that helped me: Keep falling in love with yourself. Every day. You should always be the main character in your story. Once you master that, healthy relationships fall into place. (I say this with the knowledge that INFPs typically idealise their partner and magnify them in their worldview, and can become untethered from their true selves).
Frank: "You don't know what will happen 5 minutes from now, let alone the rest of your life." Me: 5 minutes from now, my single ass will be watching youtube videos in the middle of the night.
I think a lot of infps don't really enjoy the idea of one night stands or hook up culture, so when they find both that, and actually pursuing somebody with the intention of being in a relationship with them difficult the headache is mind numbing.
My biggest problem is that I'm more in love with the idea of being in a relationship than ACTUALLY being in a relationship.
Cérès usually when being in the wrong relationship... infp might have uber etherial wishes for what constitute a match😊
Cérès when it not the right person..
True dis 💗
That's so me! lLOL
Ahhhh yesss. I love the idea and the romance and everything about it except being in it....😐
Infps finding a partner: Nope
Infps imagining themselves with their ideal partner: Yes
I'm being called out=)))
I just feel like no one’s good enough for me sometimes hahah
That's me and Y/n fanfics
@@Shyskynarwhal me tooooo, I feel like nothing is enough/what i want even when it's enough and what I long for.i just think too much like wtf is wrong with me🤣😓
@@nickeni3050 yeahh, i get bored of them so fast after I know they like me , like I know they’re a good person and all but I just I just lose feelings LMAO
"INFP's are great listeners until you try to give them advice, then they just like turn that off" lol he got me
@Jolly Infidel I've never related so much to something until this
damn that hit different :0
true 😅😂😂
ENTP female here. Good info. But then again, we’re weird too and hate small talk and ground hog day!
@Jolly Infidel yeah, my mom always says I only learn the hard way lol.
when he said, "INFPs are not naturally the kind of people who are... leading a conversation... asking a bunch of questions... trying to dig deep into the other person... INFPs are just like, 'I feel like that might annoy them.'", that hit me REALLY hard
lol yesssss, me everyday!!!!
Yes
Yep. Gave me more reasons to stay single
Yeah. I had to smile really big, because he hit that spot (and many others... what am I saying? All of them were a hit). ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
real hard…listening to a strange yt man tell me about myself is wild 😂
reason why I'm still single:
I want a committed relationship yet I'm scared of commitment
This.
THIS IS WHY.
And i think this is the one reason i am 😂 i'm not ready
Are you scared of commitment because you're kinda commited to your single life, you're afraid of rejection or a relationship ending, or you just haven't found someone worth commiting to ? It's something worth reflecting about IMO because you have probably the same needs of connection as most humans, and deserve to find some love ❤️
exactly xD
I’m an iNFP and the idea of being in a relationship makes me throw up
INFP: Having high expectations of people and higher expectations of themselves.
true
I’d rather be alone, than have a partner with issues.
INFP’s reject relationships with anyone who have deep emotional issues that they can’t help mend.
Sadly it's true -_-
I feel exposed 😂
INFPs are terrified of judgment because, internally, we are extremely judgmental and constantly hide it 😅
True. I judge family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and obviously myself.
But I rarely voice my judgement, I just judge ya’ll silently lol.
I think we aren't really more judgemental than the other types, it's just that we are conscious of it more often and admit it.
@@DevlVergil I agree! We feel like we're extremely judgmental because of our high ideals and inability to live up to them-cause we human.
Same, I think people will judge me as harshly as I secretly judge them and I've realized I am really afraid of people acting towards me as I sometimes react internally to the same things
Exactly! I'm extremely judgemental, eve if I dont hold flaws against people I admittedly seek out ros and cons of people in depth and the idea of someone doing that to me who WILL hold things against me when theyre bad but human... scaryyy
1. Impatient for real love.
2. Not showing enough emotions.
3. Worried about being judged, but its about connection.
4. Not asking enough questions.
5. Stuck in emotions from the past.
6. Rejecting too quick.
7. Not taking advice.
8. Down on yourself.
9. Getting bored easily.
10. Accept yourself and your weirdness.
Hero
People like you are golden
Thank you ☺️☺️
Fantastic thnx
I used your list and expanded it:
1. Impatient for real love. You want to be amazed, but sometimes you need to wait a bit, to feel it.
2. Not showing enough emotions. Express my feelings because I am an introvert, fake being extroverted to make people relate to you, even if it feels silly
3. Worried about being judged, but it's about connection. INFPs feel like everyone is watching them, amplified spotlight effect, but most people dont care. Not everyone is a match, dont be afraid to be judged and rejected.
4. Not asking enough questions. Force me to ask questions, even if it seems silly. It's about showing interest. If you don't do it, it seems like you don't care. "I value what is happening in your life"
5. Stuck in emotions from the past, in past relationships or a fantasy of the perfect relationship. Expectations shouldn't be based on past/imagination, but on reality. Focus on the facts and don't compare it to other people / relationships
6. Rejecting too quick. Some dates or just bad, give them a chance. Maybe you didn't now you liked this particular kind of person. Maybe your date just had a bad day. If you don't feel the high yet, give it time.
7. Not taking advice. INFPs know themselves very well, and may be overconfident in their opinion about things. We are great listeners, except when someone tries to give us advice. Just give it a chance, if someone gives you advice.
8. Beating down on yourself. INFPs don't respond well to other people trying to pull them out of a slump. Think: What is my ultimate value, what do I really want? You need to stop beating yourself down, and start being true to your values/words. People feel when you are down, it is not a sexy look. Tell yourself: I don't need the validation, I am good, and I got it together.
9. Getting bored easily. We want romance, high emotional state, want to feel deeply. But first dates can be boring. INFPs are averse to mundane things like small talk. But it's okay to have some small talk, and some meh first dates. Think: I am getting to know people, I am just enjoying my life and having an adventure.
10. Accept yourself and your weirdness. xNFx are particular weird, we have to access who we are. We need to find someone who is also weird, or someone that likes our weirdness, someone that our opposite (I am hoping for an ENFJ ;D). We struggle with reality and think people don't get us. Dating sucks, it's okay, one day you will find the right person
I love you! You people, who summon up the video in the comment section, are the ones carrying this world
I'm an unhealthy INFP and I find it unethical to enter a relationship without taking care of myself first.
I realized this recently too
I had this too. I've worked a lot on myself for like 3 years and I finally feel worthy and I finally love myself. I don't regret it at all!!
Yeah, I’ve come into that conclusion too recently but only after multitude of disasters.
Ugh exactly.
Same. I struggle with having self esteem, and if I don't like my body, how do I expect someone else will? Why would I have certain expectations for a partner but not expect the same for myself?
I would like to at least learn to feel more attracted to myself. I want to learn being confident and less concern about others' opinions.
“INFP fantasies a perfect relationship”
Me: *imagine having a relationship with my celebrity crush*
And then that crush is perfect.. until you actually met them in person...
Or my favorite Video Game characters...
Or my anime crushes😑
@@BINFP True
YEA U KNOW IT! 🤣 when my ideal type is Seonghwa.. 😭
INFPs who arent single
how does it feel like to be God’s favorite
Feels good! Thanks for asking 🤪
I mean, my darling and I are both INFPs, so....
Married to a handsome esfp. But i have no career to talk about and have an extremly low income.
It doesn't matter really.
I met another INFP, so we say "hi" and then go straight to asking if the other saw Jupiter last night... Yeah, feels pretty good.
As an INFP: I’ll add another.
11: Stop trying to please the other person all the time. We often want to project the most pleasing image of ourselves possible so we can be liked, and we obsessively internalize every perceived change in tone and believe we’re hurting or disappointing someone when we’re not. What we need to realize is that other people don’t necessarily WANT a perfect person who always says the right thing; they want a unique person they can invest themselves in. Our flaws and insecurities and awkward moments are okay and natural; everybody has them, not just us. So be yourself. If they’re right for us, they’ll accept us. We can’t please everybody.
Thank you so much. I kinda needed that right now
true
Well put, and true as well 🙏
Do we all have social anxiety/attachment issues???
This is perfect 💞
FJ: "Number one reason you're still single INFP is"
Me: because I never leave my house?
FJ: "Because you want a deep love "
Me: 😯oh...
Lol same😂😂😂
It scares people off. Now I’m terrified of deep love, because I had it I felt (with an ISTJ), we broke up, and I’m worried that’s gonna happen again with anyone else I meet..
@@atmodlee Awe that sucks, I hope you find somebody soon who can treat you as you should be treated. 😟 Good luck! ^^
🤣
@@atmodlee I dated an INTJ. Like a twin flame... now I can't kiss anyone nor do I want to even get close to people. Can't handle one more 💔
There's actually a whole community of people just like me here in the comments I've never felt so understood 😩
If we could all just find each other, I relate to so many comments here...
Ikr
we should soo create a community to share our experiences!!
E Courtney we’d all be too anxious to say anything.
🤗
Sometimes I think I’m in love with someone however I’m only in love with idea of the person
I couldn't relate more
Huey is my favourite character in the boondocks.
That sums up my perspective on love eeeek
100%
actually is it weird that i can see strangers in my dream? literally have a dream everyday of a person, i met while going to my dream university. dreaming of eating oreo cheesecake and double chocolate with him. iam so serious about love. but in this busy world iam afraid no one is serious about love. love is wanting to bake someone a meal and they loving it. love is like creativity. all i want is someone. love is not expressed through words, it's the damn actions. love is working harder, because you wanna settle down. true love is ethereal. i always felt that for that person.
Being an INFP and wanting to find a date like: "I deserve someone i can love." and "They deserve better than me..."
“Reality isn’t your strong suite”
Yeah, never was a big fan of reality.
Also, social distancing comes naturally to this infp.
Yup
Oh god, when i heard about “social distancing” im just meh, lol it just like people start to living like me 😂
Lolyep
Facts, I’m literally not missing anyone at all in fr fine
social distancing is my jam
FJ: "Let's be realistic."
Me, an INFP: I know you didn't just throw the 'R' word at me.
infp, there is no reasonable comeback that erase to ' lets be realistic , other than childish outbreaks ' no, no heck no' .
hahahah totally. And when he said "INFP are great listeners except for advice" i thought "yep now why don't you shut up already" hahah
I hate that word 😂😂
my mind shut down when he said “reality” sorry never met her
A hard R too, not a soft R
Me, INFP: “I think I’m ready to look for a boyfriend”
* Sees a really cute guy. Hides in the corner *
Me when i have a crush : *ignores the hell outta that person*
Hides, plan escape route asap, Many people see this as playing hard to get.... they are kinda clueless.
Omg! I'm not the only one!😲😂😭
Mollie Tenpenny i was until two days ago ’ assuming adorable infp was always dating the most adorable and very close to a fairy tale life... :/ um not my most logical ..
Yep
Frank James: makes a video about INFPs
The sponsor: a therapist
lmaooo, correct. :D
"you're too quick to reject people"
HAHAHAHAHAHA I feel so attacked!
no for real😭
same 😭😭
😂😂😂😂😂 I literally just rejected someone... But in my defense, I wanted to be his friend, he wanted more do I got annoyed and now I don't even wanna be his friend
I know exactly what I deserve and accept nothing less 💁🏻♂️
bro the amount of people that i rejected 💀💀
I feel like we’re just walking contradictions lol. We need validation but absolutely hate attention. We are some of the most selfless people but at the same time can’t get out of our own world and don’t really think about others feelings. Or this is just me being crazy
ohhh the accuracy -___-
We do care about other people and their feelings but our sense of right and wrong, what we stand and believe in always overpowers
u right
@@polishmeow8298 Loved the "overpowers" assessment
@@hornsandfangs That's soo right
INFP: want a relationship but like they're own company the best
Not to be that person but *their
I agree with what you’re saying though👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Me: “It’d be cool to meet someone, at least like a friend I guess.” Also Me: prefers own company, but of a social hermit/homebody, is ace and gay, avoids social media, could live as a crazy old cat lady and die happy, what do people my own age even like to do?, can live vicariously through shipping others, meh I could date in my thirties I got time...
Yikes, that's me
@@iunderstoodthatreference3347 haha oops didn't bother checking because I thought no one would see this
Isobel Wright oh okay I gotchu😂😉👌🏻
As an INFP I read a quote from a movie and it stuck in my head.. “ that is your problem, you don’t wanna be in love , you wanna be in love in a movie “ 😭
2:03 "they don't do things halfway, right"
My unfinished projects: "am I a joke to you?"
I feel attacked and I aint even mad lol
that's great 'cause he meant relationships :33
My INFP self agreed to this and then my procrastinator self popped and say "u sure?"
I’m not just an INFP, I have inattentive type ADHD. 🙃
In terms of passion, not in work ethic :)
me: omg i want a boyfriend so baddddd
guy: hi
me: ew go away
Life story
me tooo omgggg
💯 EXACTLY!😅
I don't want no weird EXTROVERT SENSING person. Gross.
@@CaveyMoth I don't want humans in my life gross , can't imagine having a trash piece in my house that I call husband
When you're an INFP in your twenties who's never, ever been in a relationship. ;-;
Yeah,I can relate 😂
Can relate
Ayy what's good? 😂😂😂
Just joined the club 🤝
same ahaha
Me, a happily married INFP, watching this, still amazed that I made it here. Still amazed that my spouse loves me, despite how much I disappoint them by being insane, forgetful, and super emotional. Only by the grace of God and more courage than I’ve ever used for anything else in my life! 😅😵💫
❤
Sarah, seriously, we have our faults but we have strengths that overcome that. Just be yourself, be the beautiful human being you are,
As a fellow believer, I noticed that it's easier for INFP females to get into relationships, not so much for INFP males. Because INFPs exhibit the most feminine personality and it's not really suitable for guys to be feminine (i.e. compassionate, expressive, nurturing, empathetic).
@Stewie Griffin Oh dear, I feel you man. Recently, one of my INFP male friends broke up from a 4-month relationship. His ex-girlfriend was the assertive and dominant one. Before they got together, it was his ex who initiated the relationship with him.
Usually, the more masculine girl would be attracted to the feminine guy.
@Stewie Griffin Yeah it sucks, but that's the thing, society should disconnect the idea that expressing feelings, being empathic, or nurturing are feminine characteristics. It's not healthy for men as well
I didn’t know INFP’s felt like people are always watching them. I feel this all the time and it gives me anxiety. I’m glad I’m not alone. 😭
I always feel uncomfortable because i always feel like everyone is watching me. My mom says im paranoid. My movements becomes stiff and animated and so a lot of people think im weird
This is how I felt when I visited the US for the first time. I went to a City Club, I tried to not catch anyone's attention (but my family was SO noisy, I felt so embarrassed).
Yesssss ! I had to get on medication for the anxiety. It really helps !
its called paranoid ideation
Same
My problem is that I listen to the other person's problems, no problem, but if I say anything about my own feelings, immediately afterwards I regret it.
And then it's a step forward, ten backwards.
Yaro Silverstone EXACTLYYYY
I really relate to this
Hahaha. Lmao! So true! My ex called me a dancing queen. Cuz its always nxn backsteps hahaha
AAAARSKSASSRAAGAFAKKAJDGSKAL
THIS IS SOOO MEEE
EXACTLY
I have no trouble dating, I'm in a happy imaginary relationship with that one guy I saw once on the bus but never talked to
It never goes away.
😂🤣👍
"It's a blessing and a curse." 🤣
i'm in this picture and i don't like it
That's so sad. But true.
“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude”
Me an INFP seeing the title: iS tHiS aN aTtaCk??
🤣same
I FELL SO ATTACKED BY THIS VIDEO but yeah now i know why i’m still single😂
The title just kick me in the face 😂😢
I was like,. Frank's vendetta against INFP again. I think they are single because you can't have a big wedding during a pandemic! Oh, wait, wait.. It was nice. Well what do you know.😀 Frank looks too happy! You sly dog! Looks too satisfied here. He won't tell us anything about it! 👂 We're trying to hear between the tones. Is that a silk hankerchief?
SAME i immediately said: oh so you HATE INFPs???
Me when watching this video be like: *nod, nod, nod, cry, nod, nod, cry, cry, nod, nod, cry, nod, cry, nod* :))))))
Lol
Sob
i'll just nod, i've never been so good at shaking hands
omg me too i was just looking into the mirror nodding and crying lmaoo
This is such a mooood
1. 1:30 you want a deep love and you're too impatient to get it
2. 2:53 you don't show enough of yourself
3. 4:20 you're too worried about what others think of you
4. 5:40 you don't ask enough questions
5. 6:50 you can't move on from a past relationship or fantasy
6. 8:28 you're too quick to reject people
7. 9:50 you don't like taking others' suggestions/advice
8. 10:55 you get too down on yourself
9. 13:18 you don't like small talk
10. 14:43 you're weird and that's ok :)
😩this hits home
Thanks!
Omfg this perfectly describes me i am scared
Well now we know. There's hope for change.
Fits me to a tee. (Except the taking advice part. )
I am an INFP
And ...
I am single because:
I am afraid of REJECTION
I OVERTHINK too much
I most of the time suffer with SOCIAL ANXIETY
I don't think I am capable of being loved.
I have very very Low CONFIDENCE
I think I am not charming enough for a girl.
And many more .
same bro, same…
Wow me
Im infp to, I have felt the same but you have to just trie even tho you might fail. Its scary ass shit but you learn to care less after a while
Lovely
Same😢
Me, an INFP with a boyfriend
FJ: INFP, WHY ARE U STILL SINGLE
Me: likes video
Ur the only Dislike 😂😂😂??
@@temibossgaming8981 👁👄👁 it says like lol
Lol yup.
Me: why are you picking on me, James?
Me: I've not really been single. Just feel that way.
Tell me how
same I'm not single but i still know i do this shit 😂
my problem is that i feel like no one cares enough to know about how i feel inside, I'm always showing a different side of me to people because i know they don't want to hear about what i feel in a certain situation. i listen to my friends all the time but when it comes to me, they seem like they're not interested and I don't wanna burden them. so i just deal with everything alone to the point i talk to my surroundings more than my family or friends.
Wow! I thought I was the only one that had this feeling!
Welp, you're not alone. It sucks sometimes & it can be a burden to carry your friend's problems & negativity around. But I also wonder if the people I know who don't seem to care just seem that way on the outside. Like what he said about infp' s & their tendency to keep their actual feelings on the inside, making it seem as if they don't care. Idk, people are confusing 🙃.
I have this issue but I also find that I’m at fault for this. I want people to look at me and know something is wrong but in turn I’ve spent a long time learning how to mask my emotions. I’m so dull that no one knows the difference. I am positive that for you and for me that opening up will not burden anyone. Your friends and family aren’t just there for the happy times. They are there for you for the sad times. They will not know what’s wroug with you if you do not tell them what’s wrong. This isn’t a tv show where your best friend takes one look at you and says exactly what you need to hear. That’s something we have to accept.
@@mentalkay omg true I'm working on myself 😔
Couldn't agree more
INFP me: I want to be seen, truly seen... but I don't want to be looked at.
I want deep conversations... but without having to speak.
I want to see the world... but I also tire easily so maybe let's not leave the house today.
You catch my drift? It's easier to daydream about 'the one' and just live there instead.
I'm glad I found this channel. I thought it was only comedy sketches at first, but then found the 'armchair Frank' videos - thinking they'd just be parodies, but they turned out to be so real and honest instead; they've given me some much-needed comfort somehow. Now I can pretend to have deep conversations with FJ, without having to talk. Really, thanks for your content and for being so genuine. Hope you never delete the older videos.
relatable!!!
Omg ur ME!!!!
I literally wrote a poem similar to these thoughts a while back lol
that is accurate
i'm crying
The pain arrives when you actually find yourself good with a person and you start to think about them a lot but then you realize that for them isn't the same, so you are forced to repress your feelings because you don't want them to feel awkward about you...from a certified INFP
And then you cry after every interaction with them and misinterpret every interaction 😂.
literally going through it rn and it feels like hell wtf
Oh my god I’ve experienced this, the realization that it was just me feeling everything so intensely brought me crashing down. I feel like I’m always setting myself up for disappointment.
And at the end you really try to push that back, but you just can't. So you are like there loving someone that doesn't feel the same way and don't find interest in everyone else lol
FR. This happens to me a lot with one of my friends. I'm constantly thinking about her and what I could give her, I think of her when I see sunsets, when I listen to certain songs or read some cute quotes, and I feel like she doesn't feel the same about me, so I'm scared to express all this love I feel, it sucks.
I'm a confident INFP when i'm single. When someone starts being nice to me, confiwhat? 😭
Yes! So true!
me too. I am learning boundaries, because one of the reasons I lose confidence is because my sense of self and inner voice grow unclear, I hear the other person way too clearly and I get resentful.
I swear.... 😭
Oh my god, true
Hahaha, it's like "Who am I? Do I even have my own opinions? Why are you nice to me? Only because you want something?"
When you have to actually talk to people to get into a relationship
Me as an INFP: my social anxiety could neverrrr
Being an INFP and having social anxiety is literally THE WORST
jinloovee IKR 😿
@@Antonia-uc1iv true :// i literally vomit everytime my social anxiety peaks lmfaoooo
@@phia7329 that's fucked up. I hope you'll able to find a solution for that. ❤️
Frank: "You don't show enough of yourself"
Me, an insecure INFP: "Why would anyone in my relationships want to know things about me? I'm not that interesting..."
Laughs in enfj
This is honestly me. I always think I'm so boring so I always think "Why would anyone be interested in me in the first place? I'm quiet, haven't done anything outstanding, and when I do talk it's mostly stumbled words and random outbursts." 😅
Its funny because usually INFPs have so many hidden talents and unique interests that it certainly makes us more than ‘boring’... but when it comes to talking about those interests and hobbies most of us just prefer to avert and talk about the person in front of us instead 😂
Its funniest when theres 2 INFPs together and they keep going back and forth between trying to avert the topic from themselves and trying to make the other more comfortable etc but its contradictory and like an endless cycle 😂😂😂
I am an infj, and some of my favorite people are INFPs. terrific people...very very interesting! Love actual conversations with INFPs...not surface level...actual conversations. Keep your head up. The universe is just weeding out the people who are superficial and damaging for you, you sweet INFP.
A friend of mine said exactly that this week "you always listen to me, but I feel that you never talk about yourself" and I just answered "It's not that I don't trust you enough, I'm just not interesting at all. I have nothing to tell you"
When INFP verbalizes, people found it too much and got scared....
"You can't move on from a fantasy of the perfect relationship"
I'm feeling attacked. Leave me and my daydreams alone 😂
I thought it's only me, I'm glad now I'm not the only weird one LOL
I chase people who don't like me and ignore the people that do.
this is exactly my infp friend 😂
@@delll372 Hahaha! I'm trying to change that now. Like now I try to notice if people want to talk me.
Yes.
Saaaaaaaaame
Same. But 2 days ago I decided to go for the guy who actually liked me and now we are together so idk maybe try out going for the ones who like you and maybe you’ll like them too
We DETEST small talk. Couldn’t have emphasized it better myself lmao
oh God, hate small talk so much. It feels so good to be with someone and not talk at all. The other day someone told me "we had been together for a while and didn't talk all the time, there were long silent moments" i didn't even notice.
me an infp liking small talks...
of course, only when I'm texting on my phone with people I like to talk to. I hate small talks in real life. When I have small talks I go oh god what do I do now this is awkward and when we settle down on our phones I'm happy:)))
Maia Oh depends on the person, really
i literally sweat uncontrollably at the thought of small talk
edvard skryten definitely
fictional characters can give me assurance of no betrayal
Only 10? Maybe things are not so bad after all.
Nobody said the list was comprehensive lol
hahahah
Lmao
i need this kind of optimism in my life
“Reality is not your strong suit”
WHY YOU GOTTA CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT
LOL! Seriously....I like my books and my thoughts more than I like most peoples' conversation.....
When he said "let's be realistic" my first thought was just ew.
Damn me😂😂
Ahahahaha so me!!
Right
Lol i can definitively relate
I'm an older INFP and all of these things were true for me at one time. My problem was always that I jumped into relationships too quickly, the whole "all or nothing" mentality. These days I see being "weird" as one of my strengths, and the interesting thing is that men seem to initially find it attractive but then seem to decide they want a woman who might be a bit more boring, but who is more practical. Which is fine, because that's not me, and I will never again try to force myself into a more practical mode!
I'm the male version of you
- INFP from Indonesia -
Agree that is so Me now I embrace my weirdness 🤣
"why you still single, infp?"
because i have this idealistic romance on my head and i can't get over it
"You won't feel much in the early stages of dating"
Me: But that's boring i'm out
fr tho lmao if I don't feel anything for the other person I just reject them, I think it's a waste of time to be with someone if I don't even feel anything
Yeah. I can't do that. If I'm not 100% I am 0%. Theres no cute middle ground where I can explore my feelings. I'm either burning hot or ice cold.
I just have this fantasy that I'm going to feel an immediate connection or like a good vibe from the person
@@thaliaayangla7492 tell me. Why should we settle for less than that? We lives once dude.
@@rred8674 same!
@@rred8674 maybe more in hinduism
youtube recommended: “INFP, why you’re single”
i feel attacked
also everything he said was pretty accurate tho
i don't know why this is recommended to me too
"you're weird"
I felt that...
I prefer the term 'quirky'
I don’t like dating sites or when you are actually on the lookout for a boyfriend/girlfriend. I think relationships need to start out as real friendships and then grow from there. It needs to be raw. 😊
Exactly!
Yes! All my life I only had crushes/relationships with really good friends and it's awesome
Period!🙌
Yes! Exactly!
YES
"you want deep love but you're impatient to get it"
THAT'S JUST THE FIRST AND IT HIT CLOSE TO HOME THERE
True true
We hate reality
YES
So true
True
Before watching the video, I'll try to answer myself. As an INFP, I think because
(1) We know exactly what we look for in a person/relationship. This cancels out many possible partners easily.
(2) INFPs don't play around and are not for casual dating. INFPs are only in it for long term and serious relationships. We are always in search for the "one".
(3) INFPs easily forsee what could go in a relationship, the conflicts, matching of personalities, values etc.
(4) INFPs could set a pretty high standard as they do for themselves. This is due to their idealistic and perfectionistic tendencies.
(5) INFPs can take a long time to open up. They can be highly suspicious to anyone's intentions. They are always checking if someone's being genuine or putting on a show. Consistency and patience are key in getting your INFP.
(6) INFPs are quiet and will not strike first for a conversation even through moments of awkward silence unless they find you interesting or kind (we won't be quietly rude to nice people).
(7) INFPs could day dream their relationships with potential partners but won't take the necessary actions in the real world.
(8) INFPs are individualistic and may not find the need or prioritize to have someone in their lives. They don't expect or depend to anyone their own happiness.
(9) INFPs can be oblivious to others liking them. They won't believe you like them unless you tell them directly or show clear signs such as giving flowers but anything niceties will only be perceived as niceties. Tell your INFPs straight you like them or else they'll think you're only being friendly.
(10) INFPs can be hard to read. INFPs may seem neutral even to the people they like. They may be giving the wrong impression or signals or may come as off to the people they like. You won't even know an INFP likes you.
I feel like...exposed
*This is so exact*
Very true
You a legend!
Ohhh maaanhhhh,,,,,,i,m like this its to true ...i avoid my crushes even when they show intreasts in me....i avoid them and testing them ...only i open up to them after i understand they are worthy for me...but i daydream them ....because in fantasy world any thing possible....we can see them as like we want..we can create our own characters to them....actually we are in virtual playground managed by our mind...we are literaly god in there...while we daydreaming...our life is a miracle...we are one of a kind...proud of it...
That 6th one absolutely KILLS it for INFP males; we're VERY RARELY going to take that leap, and it takes A TON of mental prepwork to even consider. With extroverts, they're typically more chill about it, whereas people like INFPs have the habit of being awkward and stumble over their words a lot. It's seen as a weakness by many, and while there's nothing wrong with it, it makes it all the harder to express ourselves like we want to.
I'm here as an ENFJ trying to get a better understanding of a girl I've started seeing who is an INFP. Apparently our personality types are supposed to be a good mix so I'm trying to make an effort to make her feel as comfortable as possible, especially since she seems to have low self esteem when it comes to her appearance, intellectually it's a different matter. Personally I think she's adorable in every sense of the word
nice research
I was JUST talking about this with my mom. "You probably don't date anyone because you want a future-husband kind of boyfriend" is what she said
I don’t really see the issue there? Does that mean someone loyal and long lasting? I sure hope so.
My mom be like: Why are you still single? You should be married now. Why no one of my children are like me who got married at 20?!
LOL I don't think she meant it but more like she wanted children in our home. It's just too bad for her that I ended up INFP XD
ugh this :( i don’t like casual dating
That's me lmao
@@kristinegangman7756 not "too bad", she made you like this with her parenting methods.
this youtube algorithm getting real specific 😳😳
Damn accurate..
However, in my past experiences when I gave relationship a shot even if I didnt feel everything is right in the begining, it ended after few months.. couldnt stand that half way feeling and no real interest. Maybe I am really selfish for not feeling anything, but I can be either 100% or 0% interested in someone romantically. Hope that is not some disorder lol
Fr. I'm getting called out so bad
Me: infp, gay, never leaves the house, doesn't meet new people
Also me: Oh I wonder why I'm still single clicks on the video
Same 🤦
ME
Gay infp is another level of difficulty in dating 😂
I relate...sigh
Same
Everything hurts being alone... I want to share my universe with someone, but IT's so hard.
Me, an INFP: wants to date
Also me: don't wanna socialize and just go hermit mode T^T
same aaaaaa
Me
Same
Ahahahaaha how much have all of these infps made me laugh 😂😂😂 great to recognize our patterns that are dooming our love lives to failure sometimes
The answer is simple. Have someone be a hermit with you and make you food. There. A relationship isn't so bad.
me an INFP: ah man I'm tired of being single for 3 years now.
2 guys confess to me in the same week: HAHAHAHHA WHAT NO friendzoned
But why, are those guys just not your type?
@@waayneinteressierts9704 yup exactly. they're close friends of mine and not my type romantically
The exact same thing happened to me. I see them as friends, and they’re both very unaware/uncaring of their surroundings
Omg so true, one of my friends confessed to me just now lmao
@@Blue-lc5np mate you're a Chris Stan, you got high standards no one can beat 😂
"INFPs don't like listening to advice."
Me, an INFP, watching this video: But that's why I'm here-
Literally... I have to rewatch bc I forgot every sigle advice he gave
Yeah, but are we going to TAKE the advice?
@@VivaCohen probably not, but then we'll randomly remember it at a later point in or lives and be like "Damn, I should've listened to that advice," and then stay up all night thinking about it
I actually know why I’m just kind of watching this to confirm that my theories are true. I ain’t gonna change myself though.
VivaCohen slowly
As an infp, the "lose interest easily" is my biggest problem. Like, i start like an person so i try make the person like me, but when the person stars like me I just "eww" and fell bad for making a person fell in this way :(
We don't say what our emotions are half the time because we have no idea what our emotions are half the time lol.
I think we feel emotions at a very nuanced level and it's hard to put them to exact words, and we don't like it when we try to express emotions and people misunderstood it as something else.
I can put my emotions into words well but when I do, people start to worry about my mental health 😂😭 They don't get that that is my normal and I feel misunderstood and put inside a box... again.
No
Yeah, I don't know how to name my emotions, and I'm afraid that if I do and I name them wrong I'll feel it a lot stronger than it actually is, or something like that.
Yep!!!
Why me, an INFP, is single:
1. I suck.
2. Humans suck.
3. Fictional characters are better.
Nooo, you're still the protagonist of your own story and shit.
@@OneRadicalDreamer Sorry, but I'd rather be the antagonist. They have a much better back story and ideology.
@@kaoriheartfilia2783 Debatable, but you're still your own main character, and most antagonists think they're the protagonist anyways soooo HAH! Wishing you all the best reluctant anti-hero!
@@OneRadicalDreamer Thank you, but how in the world can you be this optimistic?
@@kaoriheartfilia2783 Idk, got tired of the hopeless INFP vibe, my life started feeling Kafka-esque without any of the romanticism. Just kinda started doing little changes and here I am lol, nowhere near where I wanna be, but at least I feel okay-sh?
My personal problem as an INFP is that the idea of just having some random boyfriend with whom I’ll stay a very little amount of time isn’t what I want at all... If I have to find someone, I want it to be real and for a long time, so basically, I’m scared
Oh and I fear being judged also
Oh wow this is the story of my life- thought I was weird for this
Me too.. i hate the "hookup culture" and nowadays relationship are very superficial.. :( i want find the true love, really.
@@zebryl yeahh I got u guys, but I think that maybe opening up to this kind of relationships is not completely bad, one can learn a lot with a 3 months relationship. As an INFP, I recommend the experience for personal growth.
The thought of dating someone like what you see in the Netflix shows generally where they just have no passionate conversations, no philosophical talks, and just looks superficial scares me.
Omg same.
it feels like everytime i like someone i like the thought of them more than them themselves
It kinda goes like this for me: I notice something admirable about someone and start to look up to them, when I do that i build them up in my head, I put said person on a pedestal and idealize them when I notice that they really aren't the person I had imagined and built up in my head I feel an extreme sense of loss, this happens with situations too in the end I always end up grieving the loss of something non-existent.
Yes ! So much !
Ah, I can relate🍻
Definitely, d
YEP, describes me to a T!!!
@@jenniferwilcox9219 ouch just happened but I still treasure that person
Exactly omg :'( I felt that
I'm just in a relationship with Myself, because Myself is kind, intelligent and makes me laugh.
I laughed at me laughing at you for laughing at yourself
@@megantaylor9861 I appreciate humor, regardless of where it comes from.🙆
@@tuanagehna7557 😊
I needed this XD
@@onlyireneadler Same. This whole conversation thread is so pure. XD
I'm definitely more comfortable asking the questions than having to talk about myself to a stranger!! 😉
Me too!!! Not only strangers, but my friends as well
So true. Like, when people ask me "and what have you been doing lately?" i don't know what to say. Like, do i tell them that i had a 2 hour hypothetical debate between my favourite book characters that have never interacted with each other inside my head? Or is it better to say that i have cleaned the house and avoid any weird looks?
Me too!! Revealing myself to someone has to feel more comfortable, and that sense of comfort takes some time in most relationships... so doing this in a date can feel weird and sometimes inauthentic, but I’m willing to try to push myself a little bit in a more open way! Even though it’s so hard!!
omg i heavily relate to this i keep asking questions bc i don’t wanna like divulge too much information
Blank Line curious... which characters?
30 yr old INFP, still single. This rings true and it’s funny looking back at all of my relationships. I’m guilty of all these things. I also notice I will sabotage a relationship or cut myself off from them suddenly because I fear I’ll be rejected by not only the person I’m dating, but their family as well.
I’m an actor and a writer, which fits my INFP personality, but at the same time I fear not being good enough for someone’s daughter. My siblings are doctors, lawyers, and dentists, and here I am still wondering how I’m going to support someone else, let alone myself?
So to avoid that pressure and expectation I just jump ship in the relationship before it gets any more serious, or I date people who don’t have the best father figures because I feel like there isn’t an expectation to meet.
"You have to start asking questions about the person"
Me, and INFP: *sweats nervously*
I had to learn how to do this by watching my extrovert sister. My default is to think about my own response or feeling or experience of something and relate that back to the other person, or just wait for them to ask me questions. I have to consciously remind myself that to others, this might look like I'm self-absorbed.
Totally! And then thoughts come by like: What will I ask? Will I look smart enough? Should I have asked this previously? We haven't spoken for a day now maybe it's too late and he is back on dating apps finding greater women out there? And then "maybe it's ok, I felt in the beginning he did not fit all of my perfect top 100 attributes I'm looking for at a partner" or "last time we met I felt I liked him a bit, and he even cooked for me while I was working but maybe it was just that"? Or "why doesn't he express what he feels about me? (we have had only a few dates lol)"... "And he said he would be busy working hard but he could have said something more romantic after we met or how exciting it was to see me again" and blablabla lol sometimes stuck in this loop instead of letting time pass, without rushing things and more important being spontaneous and expressing myself fluently as We often do as infps when we have other relationships with close friends and family, sometimes more easily showing who we are
Be me, ENTP and ask 42,069 questions to interrogate the INFP you expressed interest in.
give me questions so i have to comeback
BRUH YES. I always get worried that I’m interrogating them or being annoying!!
It is true that INFPs, at least when young, have a propensity to worry too much of what others think of us however as one matures, it matters so much less. If you are a young INFP I would strongly suggest that you concentrate on what you think of you and be kind to yourself. We tend to have a very self-critical inner voice already, intrinsically aware of what our weaknesses are. Work on your weaknesses, embrace your strengths.
Thank you. You are right on many points.
46 here and still struggling with this, so don't assume it will just happen, but actively work on it.
Work on your weaknesses, but also embrace them. It is a strength to be aware of what you are good at and not
just because i know my microwave makes food hot doesnt mean i know how it heats the food
im cryingg at this😢. pierced deep
"Reality is not our strong point." 🤣 So true!
I've just realized I'll be single forever
K
About number 6. Whenever I gave a second chance to person...it has never worked out. And then I'm angry at myself that I have ignored my gut feeling. I think that INFP's have strong and pretty correct intuition. And that's why we make conclusions quickly. It's just the energy that we feel around that person...it's not judging their behavior or their physical look.
Amanytthea i agree with this strongly
Yep...been trying to listen to my intuition a lot more these days and it's amazing how accurate it can be. Most of the time if someone gives me an off vibe I'm right on the money.
Regret not listening to that gut feeling more in the past. It's there for a reason.
Trueeeeeeeeeeeeee
same
Oh. This. Rings. True
Also INFP: totally distracted and obsessed about why the left drawer on the dresser isn't fully closed.
I looked over and my drawers looked exactly the same
I was completely distracted by the manikin in my bedroom
psh......no....
@@huladay8267 why is there a manikin in your bedroom? every night id wake up and think its a real person and have a panic attack
Speak for yourself, all 9 separate drawers in my room seem to be at different stages of openness right now and i didnt even notice lol
INFP: *finally decides to ask a question to get a better understanding of the other person*
INFP: So, can you describe yourself to me?
INFJ: No
Not true at all. Don't know what INFJ's you are talking to, but they are probably not INFJ, OR you are not "true " enough in your very energy for that "INFJ" to "open up". I do see the "INFP" fitting that 3rd row saying "No" however.
But yes, INFJs are private too, overall.
Lmao 🤣
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson so they would say no then. That whole passage was just a roundabout way of saying INFJs are private and therefore would say no.
@@marcieporter7606 Yes, that was the passage. And it is not only flat, but also dried out.
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson okay
I recently did a personality test just to see and got INFP. Figured I’d do some research on it and it all makes sense. I’m happy I’m not the only weird one that’s still single that understands these point lol
Frank James: why are you single?
Me: I couldn’t leave the house during lockdown to meet people.
(Me thinking): although I didn’t leave the house before lockdown anyway...
True that
I wish soulmates were real where we could actually identify our one ideal true love and not have to go through the pains of wading through the dating pool
I think about this too!
🙏 just drop the right person in front of me, please!
Yes. Like why is it so hard
So true! Problem is some people may have more than one soul mate.
Me too...
I've thought about this so much that I can't even count the number of books I've read with this as the main plot.
FJ: “INFPs are great listeners until it comes to listening to advice.”
Me: “Huh? Have you been talking this whole time?”
It’s telling how many INFP’s like myself that are commenting do not use their picture for their profile pic, lol.
It took me forever to learn it’s ok to just take a date to a yogurt shop sometimes. I always felt like the date had to be elaborate or it was useless. I scared many girls away in the early stages.
At least I rarely got stuck in 20 questions mode. After 4 - 5 questions about work and hobbies I would have to go deep and ask questions like, “What gives you purpose and meaning in life?” At least that is a good trait in building relationships. Many women seem to appreciate that line of questioning more.
Interesting points!
I'm a married INFP, husband and I have been together almost 16 years now and I consider myself extremely lucky to have found "la perle rare" as we say in French. Here are a few things that contributed to making our relationship possible and long-lasting:
- We met online on msn through a game. We wrote to each other for months before meeting in person. We already had a connection, the only question was would we like each other physically (neither of us knew what the other looked like). Long story short, we did.
- Although it took me years to open up to him (because I feared once he knew the "real" me, he would realise that he didn't actually love me), he was patient with me while pushing me to share my feelings and thoughts. And most importantly, he showed a keen and genuine interest in what was happening inside my head and never judged me. Like I said, "la perle rare"!
- In time, I've learned to communicate better and to not keep things bottled up inside. And it feels so liberating to feel comfortable enough with someone that I feel safe just telling him what's on my mind even when I haven't processed it to the end. To sum it up, he's not only my husband, he's also my best friend (and I am his).
- And last but not least, we share the same values and ideals.
Before meeting him, I was convinced that I wasn't made for love relationships and I would end up living alone. I now think I'm just not made for the shallowness and uncertainty that come with conventional dating and I have a feeling this is true of most INFPs.
Congrats
@@freezia400 STOP SPAMMING THIS
Awesome. Do you know his type? Is he INFP too?
i was waiting, wondering, what personality type is your hubby though.
He's an INTP :)
I'm 33, not married, don't have kids.
dating in your 30s is hard. hard is an understatement. it is excruciating. it is a bunch of hurt people, trying to not get hurt again.
I feel ya never been in a relationship hitting 30 in a few months time and I'm thinking I'm screwed as an INFP 🤣
@@StikiFing4z aww mam, between I am 22 and never dated anyone..
i'm fucking scared of hitting 30 without having dated anyone. i work so hard for it but no results
Yep, turned 30.
I'm 34 and same.
Notes:
1. Impatient for real love. You want to be amazed, but sometimes you need to wait a bit, to feel it.
2. Not showing enough emotions. Express my feelings because I am an introvert, fake being extroverted to make people relate to you, even if it feels silly
3. Worried about being judged, but it's about connection. INFPs feel like everyone is watching them, amplified spotlight effect, but most people dont care. Not everyone is a match, dont be afraid to be judged and rejected.
4. Not asking enough questions. Force me to ask questions, even if it seems silly. It's about showing interest. If you don't do it, it seems like you don't care. "I value what is happening in your life"
5. Stuck in emotions from the past, in past relationships or a fantasy of the perfect relationship. Expectations shouldn't be based on past/imagination, but on reality. Focus on the facts and don't compare it to other people / relationships
6. Rejecting too quick. Some dates or just bad, give them a chance. Maybe you didn't now you liked this particular kind of person. Maybe your date just had a bad day. If you don't feel the high yet, give it time.
7. Not taking advice. INFPs know themselves very well, and may be overconfident in their opinion about things. We are great listeners, except when someone tries to give us advice. Just give it a chance, if someone gives you advice.
8. Beating down on yourself. INFPs don't respond well to other people trying to pull them out of a slump. Think: What is my ultimate value, what do I really want? You need to stop beating yourself down, and start being true to your values/words. People feel when you are down, it is not a sexy look. Tell yourself: I don't need the validation, I am good, and I got it together.
9. Getting bored easily. We want romance, high emotional state, want to feel deeply. But first dates can be boring. INFPs are averse to mundane things like small talk. But it's okay to have some small talk, and some meh first dates. Think: I am getting to know people, I am just enjoying my life and having an adventure.
10. Accept yourself and your weirdness. xNFx are particular weird, we have to access who we are. We need to find someone who is also weird, or someone that likes our weirdness, someone that our opposite (I am hoping for an ENFJ ;D). We struggle with reality and think people don't get us. Dating sucks, it's okay, one day you will find the right person.
This is based on the comment of @Suleiman Beshir , but I added more important information.
Have a great day.
Fr as an INFP "I'm glad to see you today" is SO HARD TO SAY OMG
😂 I know and I don't know why!!
Hard to say...not to write :)
IT TOOK ALL MY WILL POWER TO WISH SOMEONE MERRY CHRISTMAS
@@giuliar2539 Texting is a life savior for us
@@alegria1813 yep it is xD
“INFP: 10 Reasons Why You’re Still Single”
Me, an INFP in a relationship: 👁👄👁
Me, an INFP with an imaginary unicorn boyfriend OC:
@@raiontheone ngl that's kinda sexist
Same.
@@raiontheone Who are those girls dating then? Other girls? 😂
Yas girl! Be happy 🤗❤️
INFP:
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo...
I know Radiohead is not your cup of tea, sorry for that Frank :'(. But when you talked about the last point, this song came to my mind.
what the hell am i doing here? i dont belong here
Woah 12 hrs ago? This was posted 10 mins ago
I love that song. Of course I'm an INFP
Yeah, love that song, total infp experience, maybe for many other NF types too sometimes.
That song is sooo INFP and relatable in so many levels :'((
The biggest thing that helped me:
Keep falling in love with yourself. Every day. You should always be the main character in your story. Once you master that, healthy relationships fall into place.
(I say this with the knowledge that INFPs typically idealise their partner and magnify them in their worldview, and can become untethered from their true selves).
Me: *wants to be in relationship*
Also me: *chickens out like a little b*
😭
@@aviralsinghal1274 don't worry! We will find someone one day! Someone patient xD
@@dreamslikememories544 that hope is the only thing preventing me from going full on misanthrope. Lol
This hits so hard
@@justinl9671 I'm sorry ☹️
Frank: "You don't know what will happen 5 minutes from now, let alone the rest of your life."
Me: 5 minutes from now, my single ass will be watching youtube videos in the middle of the night.
Mood!
Yup 😂
I thought the same but then I started thinking how actually the world could end every moment and I started overthinking
Haha
infp has high standards, that's all 😞
Im just trying to catch jellyfish is all 😔
*Bo:* lower your expectations
*me* Bitch if they were any lower they'd be underground
*someone* hi
*also me* no
agreed.
I’d rather have high standards than low
I think a lot of infps don't really enjoy the idea of one night stands or hook up culture, so when they find both that, and actually pursuing somebody with the intention of being in a relationship with them difficult the headache is mind numbing.