THE PARADOX OF THE PICK-ME | The Slumflower Hour podcast

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 33

  • @Chiron952
    @Chiron952 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    Exactly. Pick mes do get picked, but not for 'love'. It's for half rent and bills, free labor, emotional and physical, childcare, sex-Barbara the Builders

  • @aimeebarnor3029
    @aimeebarnor3029 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    My dating life has improved a lot more since I became like this. I've never been a pick me but I was always just authentic and kind but but now I'm selective with my kindness to men and it works more.

  • @tragimelody
    @tragimelody 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    "Being a pick-me affects the quality of your friendships." SO TRUE.
    I'm a recovering pickme. I went through a long time stretch of ignoring my girl friends because I thought my (first serious) bf was "the one"... 🤡
    Now that I'm out of that fog, I'm cursed with having to witness something similar happening to my best friend of 20 years.... And I fear I cannot stop it. I think she just has to learn the lesson on her own skin.

  • @SapphireChristella
    @SapphireChristella 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    Manifesting a man who’s gonna pay for a years subscription to your patron and to send me and my best friend to London so that we can go to your live show.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @TheHick1997
    @TheHick1997 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Hi, I am actually a guy but I have watched many of your videos on dating and men etc. I actually read your book and your interpretation of mens dating tactics (eg men testing self esteem of women) are absolutely correct. You have men down to a Tee.

  • @YourUXEngineer
    @YourUXEngineer 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Preach!! My ex’s new girlfriend (straight up pick me) wanted to “clear the air” with me. She ran down a list of everything, that he told her, that I refused to do for him and ended it by informing that she will do all those things! To that I replied “Lucky him, I can’t be bothered”. He and I were friends throughout their relationship and all he did was complain about everything she didn’t do. I really did feel sorry for her. I’m better off single and I’m loving it!

  • @bksha16
    @bksha16 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    wow I wish I could attend your live show in person. But I will be watching all the way from NYC! Love ur content, and yeah I definitely laugh at pickmeishas their THE WROST SMH lol.

  • @peachesandpoets
    @peachesandpoets 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    I was a pickme for 3 months after being reeled in by my first malignant narcissist. I quickly was like, ohhhh nope. 😂

    • @humanityandme
      @humanityandme 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Smart self insight you got there 🎉

  • @kaysmellsgood
    @kaysmellsgood 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I look forward to you doing a live show in Nigeria one day.

  • @mieskaarendorf8247
    @mieskaarendorf8247 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I really do always feel like you're kind and that you're coming from a place of love. It never feels like an attack. You feel like the older wiser protective sister.

  • @sugarysweet5674
    @sugarysweet5674 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I love how your podcasts double ass ASMR - please do more!

  • @tan89284
    @tan89284 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    It is really difficult to maintain a friendship with a pick me woman. Especially a pick me woman who is in a relationship. Her entire identity is around being in a relationship, having a boyfriend/husband and she will openly pity and put down her fellow women friends who are single or voluntary celibate. Meanwhile she gets angry and insecure when her man spends any amount of attention or time on her friends, something as small as just talking. And we can all tell this man of hers is cheating on her with his female coworkers at work. I could never 🫣

    • @2cut32handle
      @2cut32handle 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      This is so true. But sadly most women are pick me's so it's a bit harder to make friends especially as u get older

    • @tragimelody
      @tragimelody 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      This :( It's even worse when her man is openly flirting with you, with her right next to you!!! It makes me feel sick. I hate the way men erode female solidarity with their bullshit...

    • @tan89284
      @tan89284 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@tragimelody this exactly!!! And instead of her holding him accountable, it’ll be you she blames it all on. Instead of him who is supposed to be love-bonded to her.

  • @baileyholgate5437
    @baileyholgate5437 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    This episode was so needed also if ur a pick me urself its not ur fault & theres still time to derail the patriarchy's conditioning

  • @krupapop97
    @krupapop97 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I freaking love you, you been educating us one episode after another you definitely are a key role in upping my standards girl.

  • @Gem_ini
    @Gem_ini 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    LOVE your incredible honesty and refreshing content! Keep up the amazing work. I think there’s a difference between the ‘pick me’ who wants to throw women under a bus and the ones who just don’t realise they’re being duped by men. I was a combo of baddie and someone who did everything for men, but was always a staunch feminist and would tell them off and speak my opinion fully to them if I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t a doormat in that sense, but what I didn’t realise (through childhood trauma and conditioning) was that I was being taken for a complete ride by over giving to men who were benefiting from my free labour and se£. Nobody taught me otherwise and my friends and family didn’t say anything. These men basically gave me the bare minimum back. The true ‘pick me’ are the ones who actually back up the patriarchy and defend misogyny, I have no sympathy for them whatsoever as they’d rather try and ‘benefit’ from the patriarchy than try to help their woman kind. Anyway, love the content and I’ve learnt some interesting stuff from this. I’d already decided I was over giving, but didn’t realise how much I should have been GETTING if it wasn’t for you! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @hernameisch3rry
    @hernameisch3rry 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you for providing me with the absolute best listening material for work ❤

  • @chronically_ire
    @chronically_ire 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    please do a north america tour!

  • @Kayla-kd8ov
    @Kayla-kd8ov 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My friend put me onto your channel and I am so thankful. I know ultimately that I am not a Pick-Me, but I have previously had some Pick-Me ways. Thank you for refreshing my mindset and educating women to Pick themselves

  • @blackbeaty1000
    @blackbeaty1000 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Loved this ❤

  • @CinematicGriotCollective
    @CinematicGriotCollective 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hit the nail on the head as always.

  • @ybom8264
    @ybom8264 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    OOO I’m first to comment slumflower sister girl LIVE SHOW PLS

  • @howismichellesochill
    @howismichellesochill 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I love you hahahaha

  • @richie6263
    @richie6263 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m a pick me. She’s right.

  • @tee6654
    @tee6654 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I flip Christianity’s patriarchal narrative over to serve me after I read Proverbs 18:22.

  • @Lalaland099
    @Lalaland099 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    You look abit like melanie martinez