The really thinking they ate. Especially, the bi chick. What a joke. She's so damn goofy talking about "I understand what it takes to be a man". No you don't. They are literally explaining their confoundary to this man and he's letting them know they are hypocrites. They can't see it. Bro how does bi chick just not understand we don't want to date a man. She's acting like a man. We don't want that so we confronted her about it (the men) and she still is combative. And forget the delivery. If you don't like our raw delivery than thats too bad. Deal with it.
“You’re complaining that my fingertips are rough without acknowledging the fact that I learned how to play for you”…that bar went over they heads so bad….but I like the conversation on both sides.
i disagree. there was a lot gained from talking to them. if you deconstruct what they are saying, it puts you in tune to how selfish they are or that they only think of a relationship in terms of a self-interested business and they have a fear of being vulnerable. this was actually quite valueable.
Everybody always bring up grandpa having 2 families but dont bring up grandpa raising your mom not knowing he wasn't the dad. By the way both are wrong
Shhh you can't say that out loud because that would be holding grandma and women of that era and others acc... accou... accounta... damn it, I can't say it, smh
@@kiriende3691that part! I'm past tired of people, men and women, perpetuating this narrative. "Everybody grandfather had a family on the other side of town". How can "everyone's" grandfather have a family on the other side of town in a time when we were married at 70-80+%. Its statistically impossible
It’s very clear to me now that her girlfriend could do for her what she could not do for the men that she’s dated. So, it makes sense that she has found a happy relationship with a kind and nurturing woman that compliments her masculine energy. She said that femininity comes out naturally but a man has to bring it out. I’m surprised that Allen didn’t point out that contradiction as well.
From what I can tell from interviews, he avoids directly calling out people on their toxic behaviour to avoid confrontation. He'll use examples to try to make them come to their own understanding, because they will just argue.
Black shirt with dreads made a point and then contradicted herself and I was trying so hard to feel her but nah. She said when she was the bread winner she would be disrespectful to her partner and think that if your not doing anything for me why would I need you. She was being honest and she saw she was wrong and claims she’s changed. Then turns around and says her mother raised her to be independent but doesn’t think that correlates to why she was disrespectful to the men she made more than. I think people look at their parents as angels and don’t see how the way they were raised made them have flaws. That doesn’t mean her mom is a bad mom or person but her learning to be independent and it’s ok to date men but not need them literally is the combination that makes her only want to date men that can improve her life. It’s a self way of thinking that turns her partner into just what they provide and they aren’t an individual. What self respecting man would be with a woman who put right tells you there’s no point of us being together if you’re not providing for me… she telling you she don’t love you she loves what you have.
And if she only dated men that she made more money than it was intentional so that she could be in control she was a conscious or subconsciously choosing those men. Now she's with a woman so that she can be the man and fake feminine at the same time
the lady with a women LITERALLY said she could only recieve the criticism from another woman becuase she delivered it softly. the irony of her not recognizing that this is why she was bumping heads with the men she delt with is so strong.
This conversation was a masterclass in filtering all of your information through your emotions! 👏 The failures of men and women in relationships have always been a struggle for power, equality and leverage based in fear, instead of them aspiring to have strong individual character, integrity and obligation based in respect, while choosing to pair with likeminded mates.
Dr Obi, how can the women not understand the use of analogies to depersonalize your examples? The women have strong need to be right before you even finish the example. 😮 Man... your attempt, I appreciate how you roll. If a man is in touch with more feminine side, the woman will resent that he is not masculine enough. Dichotomy of our society between BM and BW reigns Supreme.
I deeply appreciated this conversation. But i feel that nothing was gained because the combative spirit was in full effect from most of these women. Even in the face of 2 men trying to be vulnerable with their vantage points, they were still dismissed. Smh
I’ve watched enough of these panel discussions(and been involved in a few myself) to realize not much positive will come of them. A lot of topics will get rehashed and people deflect and talk past each other and that’s about it
These women totally steam rolled these men being open and who were openly trying to get these women to understand us men. They are lost, onto the next batch.
Life has taught me something very valuable about women. Those who want your money don't really care about relationships and marriage. Those who care about relationships and marriages, all they want are men of their words, that are consistent, reliable all year round , who treats them with dignity and respects. They don't really care about you being rich ..
It baffles me that the Women on at the table didn’t understand that mate selection is the driving force behind how men act. A lot of male antics that are deemed toxic were incentivized when they were younger.
In a relationship, it is your 'job'. For a man to make his woman feel feminine. And for a woman to make her man feel masculine. That is the service to each other. And how you serve each other is learned over time. Time, Communication, Humility are major components in the "love building".
Women should bring the four legs to the table. 1. Respect 2. Cooperation (submission) 3. Participation 4. Appreciation With all four the “table”/relationship can continue to stand tall. Any weakness in those legs gives access to the “scavengers” crawling on the floor.
As always, I appreciate the work and your patience. But I would suggest avoiding the panels. The women just synergize and become even more dismissive. The one on one interactions are a bit more powerful because there's a better chance of them looking into the mirror. Retrospective thinking can be powerful. But if they are allowed to synergize in their ignorance and insensitivity we get nowhere. Continue the good work!
How he can stay calm with these women drinking *copium* in his face astounds me. It's wild that they keep telling us we are the problem without listening to us. The parts they don't like they just talk over and ignore. It's disgusting.
I respect this guy, because he never break’s character or gets frustrated when they don’t seem to comprehend. The inability to give a man grace is reprehensible!
Big O good show, brother. One of the common themes I notice in your interviews is that you are true to your stance on giving women grace. Thats a good thing, however, I very rarely see them giving you or any man they speak of grace. What you think about that?
That's true brother. I am however playing the long game and my main goal is to impact the women watching, not necessarily the ones I'm speaking with directly. These conversations allow us to observe ourselves from a "safe" distance.
“Men don’t know how to bask in their feminine energy” -HOLY SHIT! She doesn’t even understand or see why her girlfriend is attracted to her (masculine energy) and why she’s attracted to her girlfriend (loving nurturing caring energy) that breaks her down and brings out her “natural” soft energy. But it’s not her job in a traditional relationship to be the soft one to bring out what she says she wants from a man and what is brought out in her by her girlfriend. She can’t see that she’s filling the “traditional” male role in her current relationship and what she’s getting is what men need FROM their partner. We need our women to listen for comprehension and thoughtfulness for the purpose of responding, but we typically get reactions without thoughtfulness. Women’s selection of men creates more men like what they’ve chosen @1:07:40 - @1:17:32 and it’s not being understood.
It’s sad that the woman in a relationship with another woman never even acknowledged her contradiction around minute 48.00. I love these conversations that you do. But often times I’ve noticed that men who create these safe spaces of grace and understanding for women continue to have the accountability of women pushed aside to blame things on men often times. I hope that makes sense
Its a mistakr that men in these positions make. Kevin Samuels checked these narrative, otherwise the women think they clever and winning the intellectual battle using tactics
Don’t listen to what they say, watch what they do. Who they date and have children with tells you all that you need to know. It does not align with what they say.
This man spoke clearly and slowly and plainly about how most men feel like women don’t consider what they value…….they basically responded and said it’s his fault lol smh women do not LISTEN to men even when they are directly telling them what they value ……..
This was really a great conversation. I enjoyed it. I want to give praise to the women for at least at a few points taking an oz of accountability. Although quite a bit of their explanations were contradictory. Also the triggering they appeared to feel that made them continue to make sure they flipped it back to men without acknowledging what they were just told about men. That’s actually the grace that was needed. All in all tho not bad and can’t wait for more.
Brotha, I give you MAD props for trying to open a dialogue, but, the illogical speeches I'm hearing from the women's side is off putting. Skimming the comment section, I'm not alone in this.
Man this is by far one of the best interviews I’ve seen in such a long time. Your patience, analogies, respectfulness, tone and examples were all top notch!! Although the women gave good conversation most of them seem to get in their feelings and started listening only to respond and not understand. Porsche (Dreads) contradicted herself many times and with the energy she gave off I KNEW she was with a woman or single. Steer clear of women who feel like their divine femininity is conditional on what you can do and how you make her feel. While expecting you to be masculine and treat her like a lady upon first introduction. 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
Good show . Alan and the other gentleman. Y’all held it down . It was some moments that incited a lot of passion in the women but at the end of it I think everyone came away with a better understanding. I don’t think minds were changed and I don’t believe that is the goal for one show but it was a great start for us to all to become better men and women.
Great discussion!!! Salute Obi you have really created a space where a conversation can actually be had and between black ppl. Respectful, Informative and Real. Again Salute to you Obi and all the guests on this episode. KS would be proud brother ✊🏾
Allan (sp) you have my respect brother. I am simply a bystander, watching your videos, and your level of patience, decorum, and consistent persistence in getting your point across in the face of what seems like a brick wall sometimes is very commendable.
Now this is what I'm talking about! A conversation where we can come together and listen to each other without yelling. 4 ladies in this panel expressed class. Absolutely great conversation. This is am example of how we should communicate with each other.
The #Table is Relationship... but most importantly, the table is made of MIRRORS... Thus, the table NEVER changes. It forever reflects those that sit at it; so they are the ones who change, never the table itself. So what do people bring to the table? What's reflected by the table IS what people bring: THEMSELVES... Just as we can't bring anything to a mirror(relationship) but ourselves; we CAN'T bring anything else to the 'table' but us (our insecurities, expectations, attitudes, anger/mommy/daddy/abandonment/trust issues, fears, traumas, maturity level, etc)...
On the nurturing.... I've had an ex literally tell me "I'm not responsible for nurturing you, your mother should have done that". Just lived experience. So the bell curve is real on that one aspect of the conversation. There is a small set of ladies in capable of nuturing. Great conversation. I loved the insight and honesty from the ladies, and there accountability. I applaud the fellas for listening with intention and being open minded. I loved seeing brothers and sisters have a great conversation!!!
mannnn they just let these woman talk with no accountability off rip if a woman say i made more money then every man she dated thats the woman fault yall chose these men. all these woman at this table strictly have the mindset of a man didnt talk about raising kids or nothing.. olbi needs to push back or bring men on that will cause these woman swear they running these conversations exactly why fresh and fit will always remain number 1 in all these conversations
Great talk. It all about Community and Culture and Careers and Communication to me. Community- The people who are your example. Culture- How your community teaches the management of life. Careers- How we maintain provisions. Communication- Each party knowing the strengths, weaknesses, expectations and demons of the other.
As a woman I must respectfully say these women are full of shyt and I personally feel that a woman that is in a lesbian relationship should not speak on heterosexual relationships ( u will be bias towards women)the misandry is spilling out all over the place. The host has so much patience and they gave him no grace and completely proved his point.
The lady with the locs is not qualified to talk about women to men relationships.. she's with a woman and can only talk about those relationship dynamics. And that's with the utmost respect
As I listen to this there is a lot of overthinking and that is what gets in the way of just enjoying the relationship. Women move on emotional things happen and men move with logic. Men required peace and women required what that particular person is looking for. Social media while in a relationship needs to be removed because you will find out that your relationship is being dictated by it.
I think a lack of thinking is the better word to describe this conversation. Sometimes the big dude said something that was way out there, but sound “good”. Yet the ladies here as a collective demonstrated the difference between hearing and listening, and ultimately selective hearing. They also were eager to respond, but can clearly see they were just making it up as they go. To see the others ladies sign off after the Ad Libs shows they are like this within their social bubbles where no one checks them. Yet , it is impressive at the same time, I can’t do that😂. Yet like you said seem their throughly process is 80% to regurgitate what they see on social 10% to listen for trigger points 5% reserved for cognitive reasoning 4% ad lib 1% daydreaming.
As I very frequently have had these conversations with women the level resistance or unwillingness to receive what men are saying is crazy. The Host patience and delivery is unmatched, my frustration even watching this episode is how many times the same message has to be repackaged before any of the ladies could understand the point being made. I'm triggered whenever a woman responds with "Not All" or when they argue against a man perspective instead of listening to understand, knowing they can not speak to OUR experience
The one girl was super disingenuous during the provider portion of the conversation. The men usually aren’t the one with a problem when the women begins to make more. I’ve heard so many women who have testified their whole perspective/attitude/respect to her man changed when she got that promotion or started that business. It usually ends in breakup or divorce.
I’m open to being wrong but I don’t know that I agree with this. Men have an issue with a woman making more and it’s not Always tied to her attitude I think it’s something innate that makes him feel inferior. show me a man a large sampling of men totally comfortable with their wife or significant other making more 👀 . I think the ego won’t allow the admission that men just innately don’t like it…just like innately women having feelings about making more than their man.
@@2madwithajnot discrediting that point but I don’t believe that’s the majority nor main reason. Specifically in the black community, it’s the attitude that comes with it. Which was probably already there to a lesser degree but she now have a backbone of dollars. Point is if a woman respect a man she won’t do certain things irregardless of being the bread winner or not. Therefore the man would not have a problem in most cases. I think it’s that simple for majority. 51% or better. I believe woman need to put there ego up and just listen to this from men. We are literally telling you what we don’t like but some how nope it’s not that smh sad.
@kingjay1524 I agree regarding the respect factor but if there are internal matters going on my respect for you is not going to stop all problems. Again I just don't believe it is as small of an issue as men are portraying. AND I could be wrong because I'm not a man this is just based on observation and experience
No person is the table. This is the dinner table. And the only thing excepted to bring to this table is food to this table and to bring the family together for this table.
One last thing to note is he mentioned the buck analogy. Women say they want softer, emotionally intelligent, and caring men. But a lot of those men aren’t getting any sex so that should tell you they don’t really mean what they say and that’s not really what they are attracted to based off who they pick to “clone”
I’m so glad that there aren’t only these types of BW. Fellas, travel outside of this country and you will find a greater experience with women. Nothing has and will change. For every woman that is masculine, you can find a woman that feminine naturally.
Good sir, while not taking anything away from the work you have probably put in to develop your communication skills...you have clearly been gifted with an ability to communicate, and articulate things from an unbiased point of view, and yet, certain women on this panel...still found ways to take many of your points and hit you with, "but the men"... I'd very much like to see you do a case study on communication...
I’m glad you’re making the space to have these conversations with Black men and women. But one that bothered me throughout this panel is that everytime one of the men made a point, the women were either quick to respond, or dismissive with their rebuttal and body language instead giving room for understanding. It seems there’s a natural apathy towards a man’s sensitivities, so I understand why most men don’t talk about how they feel
The table is what both individuals bring to it. It may look different in individual homes...just like actual tables 🤔. Each partnership has to discuss what that means for them with the expectation of building the table together!
As long as a woman doesn't think that her having more money is supposed to qualify her being the leader then it's all good. Leadership ain't got nun to do with the amount of money you have. Men's characteristics are better suited for leadership
The table is not this mythical, complicated concept. It is the union, or potential union. What do you bring to the union? How can you benefit the union? Do you benefit the union? That's it. Nothing else.
1:49:03 THIS out of this whole convo this is the passage of the day. It definitely sounded like competition with the two women every point was a counter point and “what if” and a “not my perspective “ and that’s cool but y’all definitely were listening to respond rather than listen to respect and understand
Nope; still no grace given. Hard to incentivize some one to hand over their luxury & power... she put men wanting power at the start of this cycle . Not slavery not Jim Crow, not government assistance 😪. Wow
I gotta give this kind of stuff a break because constantly listening to women like this make me want to avoid women of my own community like the plague. There is zero empathy in this conversation these women can’t concede or acknowledge a single thing. Their entire position is I’m right and y’all are wrong no matter what. How on earth can we promote black love when this is the kind of women that are out there for us. This is absolutely deathly for a man’s mental health. We DESERVE peace and happiness in the women we live our lives with. I don’t care what trauma they’ve gone through because we can never use our trauma as reason to mentally abuse them so why should be accept that from them. Save yourselves black men whatever that looks like. Put yourself first second and third.
The CONSTANT shifting and moving of the goals post ANYTIME accountability is thrown a womans way. Just take the whooping and acknowledge it and QUIT trying to refocus the dysfunction back on the men.. GEEEZ!🙄
Same old stuff. These ladies dont believe they nor any other woman is ever wrong. Fellas, get yourself together and dont chase these women. They dont want or love you, just what you can do for them. Find your joy in life and quit worrying about women and what they think. Because most of them dont care about what you as a man wants or needs.
![who is...[The Table Episode 2]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Of-qe8Kms2E/mqdefault.jpg)
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That guitar analogy totally went over their heads 😂
Intentionally obtuse.
She said “who told u to pick up the guitar” 🤦🏾♀️😂
@@1westprincess and if we didn't "pick it up" we aren't making an effort
They was like huh? Looking for some way to deflect it back on to men lol
Definitely went way over their heads. Lol.
The ladies scored a perfect 10 in mental gymnastics. Thank you for your patience.
That what I said. All that extra talking to really be saying nothing. The table is the relationship. They said everything but that
Flawless.
These are difficult truths to face. I’ll give them grace.
The table is ever changing lol no thanks, I’ll keep running after a new table
The really thinking they ate. Especially, the bi chick. What a joke. She's so damn goofy talking about "I understand what it takes to be a man". No you don't. They are literally explaining their confoundary to this man and he's letting them know they are hypocrites. They can't see it. Bro how does bi chick just not understand we don't want to date a man. She's acting like a man. We don't want that so we confronted her about it (the men) and she still is combative. And forget the delivery. If you don't like our raw delivery than thats too bad. Deal with it.
You have the greatest patience I have ever witnessed!😮
💯💯
Wasting his time.
I'm telling you lol 💯
After they intentionally missed that wonderful google analogy I would've kicked everybody out. He has the patience of job 🧘🏾♂️
@@dannysan2441 Job went through it. I stopped reading the Bible after that story. God was wild for that one
“You’re complaining that my fingertips are rough without acknowledging the fact that I learned how to play for you”…that bar went over they heads so bad….but I like the conversation on both sides.
Nothing was gained from talking to these women. Still a great much needed conversation.
i disagree. there was a lot gained from talking to them. if you deconstruct what they are saying, it puts you in tune to how selfish they are or that they only think of a relationship in terms of a self-interested business and they have a fear of being vulnerable. this was actually quite valueable.
Nathan
Everybody always bring up grandpa having 2 families but dont bring up grandpa raising your mom not knowing he wasn't the dad. By the way both are wrong
Or that they're framing rare ocvurences as the norm to justify their foolishness.
Straight up
Shhh you can't say that out loud because that would be holding grandma and women of that era and others acc... accou... accounta... damn it, I can't say it, smh
@@kiriende3691that part! I'm past tired of people, men and women, perpetuating this narrative. "Everybody grandfather had a family on the other side of town". How can "everyone's" grandfather have a family on the other side of town in a time when we were married at 70-80+%. Its statistically impossible
@@dredai accountable, there ya go I said it for you 😂
I lost it at 58:00 "You won't identify the fact that your terrible to be around... Your not a good person"🤣🤣
It’s very clear to me now that her girlfriend could do for her what she could not do for the men that she’s dated. So, it makes sense that she has found a happy relationship with a kind and nurturing woman that compliments her masculine energy. She said that femininity comes out naturally but a man has to bring it out. I’m surprised that Allen didn’t point out that contradiction as well.
From what I can tell from interviews, he avoids directly calling out people on their toxic behaviour to avoid confrontation. He'll use examples to try to make them come to their own understanding, because they will just argue.
That’s exactly what I came to comment. That was a crazy contradiction.
They’re lesbians?? Didn’t catch that.
But Allen did point out her contradiction
@@brianmoore4344 he pointed out a different contradiction, not the one that I mentioned
Black shirt with dreads made a point and then contradicted herself and I was trying so hard to feel her but nah.
She said when she was the bread winner she would be disrespectful to her partner and think that if your not doing anything for me why would I need you. She was being honest and she saw she was wrong and claims she’s changed. Then turns around and says her mother raised her to be independent but doesn’t think that correlates to why she was disrespectful to the men she made more than. I think people look at their parents as angels and don’t see how the way they were raised made them have flaws. That doesn’t mean her mom is a bad mom or person but her learning to be independent and it’s ok to date men but not need them literally is the combination that makes her only want to date men that can improve her life. It’s a self way of thinking that turns her partner into just what they provide and they aren’t an individual. What self respecting man would be with a woman who put right tells you there’s no point of us being together if you’re not providing for me… she telling you she don’t love you she loves what you have.
And if she only dated men that she made more money than it was intentional so that she could be in control she was a conscious or subconsciously choosing those men. Now she's with a woman so that she can be the man and fake feminine at the same time
🎯
the lady with a women LITERALLY said she could only recieve the criticism from another woman becuase she delivered it softly. the irony of her not recognizing that this is why she was bumping heads with the men she delt with is so strong.
you are correct, but hear what she said. men have to talk to women like they are women.
@@aswilled1 This is it, you can talk to me as a man in an assertive way without being disrespectful.
She only dated beta men that she can control.
Exactly their convo was derailed by her so many times because she’s stuck in masculinity and it works for so she can’t see anything else
This conversation was a masterclass in filtering all of your information through your emotions! 👏 The failures of men and women in relationships have always been a struggle for power, equality and leverage based in fear, instead of them aspiring to have strong individual character, integrity and obligation based in respect, while choosing to pair with likeminded mates.
Dr Obi, how can the women not understand the use of analogies to depersonalize your examples? The women have strong need to be right before you even finish the example. 😮 Man... your attempt, I appreciate how you roll. If a man is in touch with more feminine side, the woman will resent that he is not masculine enough. Dichotomy of our society between BM and BW reigns Supreme.
FACTS man!
@@wnttalkman you really hung in there being aggressively ignored and you didn't show any frustration. A great example
@@dannyboyexpatience on a panel is one thing but one can only take so much in a relationship and living with females like these
These brains have been raising our community for 50 YEARS!
Ppl don’t think about they positions of power they have too
Exactly! And to have the expectation that women like this have the capacity to change is being dishonest with one's self.
How can they generalize the grandfather having multiple families but cant fathom how most women are treating men.
How are most women treating men ?
@@Asfghjahsgf with no respect, trying to belittle them, getting pregnant by another man.. i.mean they're not all angels 🤷🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
@@Asfghjahsgfsee how your dismissal of men but ok with the narrative of bm lol can’t make this shit up
It’s laughable listening to these women contradict themselves, lie and avoid accountability.
I deeply appreciated this conversation. But i feel that nothing was gained because the combative spirit was in full effect from most of these women. Even in the face of 2 men trying to be vulnerable with their vantage points, they were still dismissed. Smh
I’ve watched enough of these panel discussions(and been involved in a few myself) to realize not much positive will come of them. A lot of topics will get rehashed and people deflect and talk past each other and that’s about it
I have to agree.
1000%
These women totally steam rolled these men being open and who were openly trying to get these women to understand us men. They are lost, onto the next batch.
I don’t know what convo they were listening to lol they answering questions that weren’t even asked lol
Life has taught me something very valuable about women. Those who want your money don't really care about relationships and marriage. Those who care about relationships and marriages, all they want are men of their words, that are consistent, reliable all year round , who treats them with dignity and respects. They don't really care about you being rich ..
💯 agree
Damn 📠
Agreed
My man has so much patience the other guy too😂
It baffles me that the Women on at the table didn’t understand that mate selection is the driving force behind how men act. A lot of male antics that are deemed toxic were incentivized when they were younger.
In a relationship, it is your 'job'. For a man to make his woman feel feminine. And for a woman to make her man feel masculine. That is the service to each other. And how you serve each other is learned over time. Time, Communication, Humility are major components in the "love building".
The sister rocking back and forth is full of that angry bw energy. 😆😆😆
Toxic femininity
Professional point missers
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!! I love this statement!!!!! They are habitual line steppers!!! 😂😂😂
Perpetual babbling victims.
Women should bring the four legs to the table.
1. Respect
2. Cooperation (submission)
3. Participation
4. Appreciation
With all four the “table”/relationship can continue to stand tall. Any weakness in those legs gives access to the “scavengers” crawling on the floor.
Why is respect needed for men can u be specific ? Respect must be earned btw
@@Asfghjahsgfmen want respect. Women want love. Yeah they should earn it. But by the time a relationship starts it should be there.
As always, I appreciate the work and your patience. But I would suggest avoiding the panels. The women just synergize and become even more dismissive. The one on one interactions are a bit more powerful because there's a better chance of them looking into the mirror. Retrospective thinking can be powerful. But if they are allowed to synergize in their ignorance and insensitivity we get nowhere. Continue the good work!
Preciate you as always my brother!
Well said
How he can stay calm with these women drinking *copium* in his face astounds me. It's wild that they keep telling us we are the problem without listening to us. The parts they don't like they just talk over and ignore. It's disgusting.
@@young5395Disgusting indeed.
A woman's strength is in her influence, POWERFUL WORDS
I respect this guy, because he never break’s character or gets frustrated when they don’t seem to comprehend. The inability to give a man grace is reprehensible!
Big O good show, brother. One of the common themes I notice in your interviews is that you are true to your stance on giving women grace. Thats a good thing, however, I very rarely see them giving you or any man they speak of grace. What you think about that?
That's true brother. I am however playing the long game and my main goal is to impact the women watching, not necessarily the ones I'm speaking with directly. These conversations allow us to observe ourselves from a "safe" distance.
“Men don’t know how to bask in their feminine energy” -HOLY SHIT!
She doesn’t even understand or see why her girlfriend is attracted to her (masculine energy) and why she’s attracted to her girlfriend (loving nurturing caring energy) that breaks her down and brings out her “natural” soft energy. But it’s not her job in a traditional relationship to be the soft one to bring out what she says she wants from a man and what is brought out in her by her girlfriend. She can’t see that she’s filling the “traditional” male role in her current relationship and what she’s getting is what men need FROM their partner.
We need our women to listen for comprehension and thoughtfulness for the purpose of responding, but we typically get reactions without thoughtfulness.
Women’s selection of men creates more men like what they’ve chosen @1:07:40 - @1:17:32 and it’s not being understood.
100 percent
Thank you.
It’s sad that the woman in a relationship with another woman never even acknowledged her contradiction around minute 48.00. I love these conversations that you do. But often times I’ve noticed that men who create these safe spaces of grace and understanding for women continue to have the accountability of women pushed aside to blame things on men often times. I hope that makes sense
Its a mistakr that men in these positions make. Kevin Samuels checked these narrative, otherwise the women think they clever and winning the intellectual battle using tactics
Don’t listen to what they say, watch what they do. Who they date and have children with tells you all that you need to know. It does not align with what they say.
This man spoke clearly and slowly and plainly about how most men feel like women don’t consider what they value…….they basically responded and said it’s his fault lol smh women do not LISTEN to men even when they are directly telling them what they value ……..
This was really a great conversation. I enjoyed it. I want to give praise to the women for at least at a few points taking an oz of accountability. Although quite a bit of their explanations were contradictory. Also the triggering they appeared to feel that made them continue to make sure they flipped it back to men without acknowledging what they were just told about men. That’s actually the grace that was needed. All in all tho not bad and can’t wait for more.
Went right over her head!!
Blown away by the wisdom of this group from this generation! I wasn't expecting this!
“I don’t need a man because I am one…..” geesh 🤷🏽🤷🏽…strong and independent is some bull, everyone needs someone….
Brotha, I give you MAD props for trying to open a dialogue,
but, the illogical speeches I'm hearing from the women's side is off putting.
Skimming the comment section, I'm not alone in this.
@@Wr3ckZ yea seems like they are brain strong enough for topics likes this lol! They just confused saying stuff😂
The lesbian's rhetoric is😂😂no wonder she's a lesbian 😂
Exactly
damn, these women think most men are just making this shit up, that's crazy
Man this is by far one of the best interviews I’ve seen in such a long time. Your patience, analogies, respectfulness, tone and examples were all top notch!! Although the women gave good conversation most of them seem to get in their feelings and started listening only to respond and not understand. Porsche (Dreads) contradicted herself many times and with the energy she gave off I KNEW she was with a woman or single. Steer clear of women who feel like their divine femininity is conditional on what you can do and how you make her feel. While expecting you to be masculine and treat her like a lady upon first introduction. 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
Wow different format…good conversation…outside of what seems to be your comfort zone to expand reach…bravo 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Glad you enjoyed it!
Good show . Alan and the other gentleman. Y’all held it down . It was some moments that incited a lot of passion in the women but at the end of it I think everyone came away with a better understanding. I don’t think minds were changed and I don’t believe that is the goal for one show but it was a great start for us to all to become better men and women.
These women were listening to respond. PERIOD
She is a lesbian, talking about heterosexual relationships. I don’t think she in her right mind
She certainly is NOT a part of this conversation, but he chose her.
Exactly I thought that too.
Great discussion!!! Salute Obi you have really created a space where a conversation can actually be had and between black ppl. Respectful, Informative and Real. Again Salute to you Obi and all the guests on this episode.
KS would be proud brother ✊🏾
Allan (sp) you have my respect brother. I am simply a bystander, watching your videos, and your level of patience, decorum, and consistent persistence in getting your point across in the face of what seems like a brick wall sometimes is very commendable.
Now this is what I'm talking about! A conversation where we can come together and listen to each other without yelling. 4 ladies in this panel expressed class. Absolutely great conversation. This is am example of how we should communicate with each other.
The #Table is Relationship... but most importantly, the table is made of MIRRORS... Thus, the table NEVER changes. It forever reflects those that sit at it; so they are the ones who change, never the table itself.
So what do people bring to the table? What's reflected by the table IS what people bring: THEMSELVES... Just as we can't bring anything to a mirror(relationship) but ourselves; we CAN'T bring anything else to the 'table' but us (our insecurities, expectations, attitudes, anger/mommy/daddy/abandonment/trust issues, fears, traumas, maturity level, etc)...
Excellent point. I’m going to have to keep this in my mental Rolodex
I got chills reading this, thank you.
Talking to females is exhausting! Dude's patience is incredible!
He broke up the convo in a series. Good convo so far.
He’s smart. I get it. I’ll be here though
And no I ain’t even mad it it either
On the nurturing.... I've had an ex literally tell me "I'm not responsible for nurturing you, your mother should have done that". Just lived experience. So the bell curve is real on that one aspect of the conversation. There is a small set of ladies in capable of nuturing. Great conversation. I loved the insight and honesty from the ladies, and there accountability. I applaud the fellas for listening with intention and being open minded. I loved seeing brothers and sisters have a great conversation!!!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED THIS DISCUSSION!!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤️&✌🏾
The table is the relationship. Period.
The woman w/ the girlfriend proved the whole point… it’s still about respecting a man enough to allow him to be a man.
Bro plz bring me on this podcast‼️🤣🤣🤣 y’all let too much slide fr… I don’t wanna be combative but I gotta push back a little on these things
They most definitely let alot slide
😆😆😆🤣😂
mannnn they just let these woman talk with no accountability
off rip if a woman say i made more money then every man she dated thats the woman fault yall chose these men.
all these woman at this table strictly have the mindset of a man didnt talk about raising kids or nothing..
olbi needs to push back or bring men on that will cause these woman swear they running these conversations
exactly why fresh and fit will always remain number 1 in all these conversations
Oh y’all want to act like animals because your points are disproven by intelligent successful black women.
@@Misaamanenoirthe conversation was not intelligent. The responses from the women were feelings base and illogical.
Great talk. It all about Community and Culture and Careers and Communication to me.
Community- The people who are your example.
Culture- How your community teaches the management of life.
Careers- How we maintain provisions.
Communication- Each party knowing the strengths, weaknesses, expectations and demons of the other.
"it's not going to work"~ the Greek, szn 2 of the wire.
The table is the relationship. Simple as that.
As a woman I must respectfully say these women are full of shyt and I personally feel that a woman that is in a lesbian relationship should not speak on heterosexual relationships ( u will be bias towards women)the misandry is spilling out all over the place. The host has so much patience and they gave him no grace and completely proved his point.
They taking playing the guitar soooo literal
I’m not sure blond dreads absorbed anything the guys were saying. She was only listening enough to find points to argue 🤦🏾♂️
Brilliant approach to a productive conversation.
The lady with the locs is not qualified to talk about women to men relationships.. she's with a woman and can only talk about those relationship dynamics. And that's with the utmost respect
As I listen to this there is a lot of overthinking and that is what gets in the way of just enjoying the relationship. Women move on emotional things happen and men move with logic. Men required peace and women required what that particular person is looking for. Social media while in a relationship needs to be removed because you will find out that your relationship is being dictated by it.
I think a lack of thinking is the better word to describe this conversation. Sometimes the big dude said something that was way out there, but sound “good”. Yet the ladies here as a collective demonstrated the difference between hearing and listening, and ultimately selective hearing. They also were eager to respond, but can clearly see they were just making it up as they go. To see the others ladies sign off after the Ad Libs shows they are like this within their social bubbles where no one checks them. Yet , it is impressive at the same time, I can’t do that😂. Yet like you said seem their throughly process is 80% to regurgitate what they see on social 10% to listen for trigger points 5% reserved for cognitive reasoning 4% ad lib 1% daydreaming.
“Thought process”😂
I don't no if these conversations should involve lesbians who very clearly have distain for men.
Facts
As I very frequently have had these conversations with women the level resistance or unwillingness to receive what men are saying is crazy. The Host patience and delivery is unmatched, my frustration even watching this episode is how many times the same message has to be repackaged before any of the ladies could understand the point being made. I'm triggered whenever a woman responds with "Not All" or when they argue against a man perspective instead of listening to understand, knowing they can not speak to OUR experience
The one girl was super disingenuous during the provider portion of the conversation.
The men usually aren’t the one with a problem when the women begins to make more. I’ve heard so many women who have testified their whole perspective/attitude/respect to her man changed when she got that promotion or started that business.
It usually ends in breakup or divorce.
I’m open to being wrong but I don’t know that I agree with this. Men have an issue with a woman making more and it’s not Always tied to her attitude I think it’s something innate that makes him feel inferior. show me a man a large sampling of men totally comfortable with their wife or significant other making more 👀 . I think the ego won’t allow the admission that men just innately don’t like it…just like innately women having feelings about making more than their man.
@@2madwithajnot discrediting that point but I don’t believe that’s the majority nor main reason. Specifically in the black community, it’s the attitude that comes with it. Which was probably already there to a lesser degree but she now have a backbone of dollars. Point is if a woman respect a man she won’t do certain things irregardless of being the bread winner or not. Therefore the man would not have a problem in most cases. I think it’s that simple for majority. 51% or better. I believe woman need to put there ego up and just listen to this from men. We are literally telling you what we don’t like but some how nope it’s not that smh sad.
@kingjay1524 I agree regarding the respect factor but if there are internal matters going on my respect for you is not going to stop all problems. Again I just don't believe it is as small of an issue as men are portraying. AND I could be wrong because I'm not a man this is just based on observation and experience
Black Females always run to “its based off my experience”
Great podcast,props to you for keeping the convo clean and substantive.
the married woman listened and when she spoke she made so much sense. we need to look for women like that.
The table is the relationship. No one person can be the table.
Bruh... THIS is what we need from you. Thank you for leaving the Carlee Russell situation alone. #StillSubscribed
Respectfully, although I also prefer this level of production, IT IS EXPENSIVE!
No person is the table. This is the dinner table. And the only thing excepted to bring to this table is food to this table and to bring the family together for this table.
One last thing to note is he mentioned the buck analogy. Women say they want softer, emotionally intelligent, and caring men. But a lot of those men aren’t getting any sex so that should tell you they don’t really mean what they say and that’s not really what they are attracted to based off who they pick to “clone”
Man, the table is the relationship.
Facts!
Solid work brother 💪🏾🔥
I’m so glad that there aren’t only these types of BW. Fellas, travel outside of this country and you will find a greater experience with women. Nothing has and will change. For every woman that is masculine, you can find a woman that feminine naturally.
Women on this panel: Me me me me… They are their own worst enemies and fail to see it.
Good sir, while not taking anything away from the work you have probably put in to develop your communication skills...you have clearly been gifted with an ability to communicate, and articulate things from an unbiased point of view, and yet, certain women on this panel...still found ways to take many of your points and hit you with, "but the men"...
I'd very much like to see you do a case study on communication...
I’m glad you’re making the space to have these conversations with Black men and women. But one that bothered me throughout this panel is that everytime one of the men made a point, the women were either quick to respond, or dismissive with their rebuttal and body language instead giving room for understanding. It seems there’s a natural apathy towards a man’s sensitivities, so I understand why most men don’t talk about how they feel
This is awesome! your a great mediator/host!
This is the calmest group of women I’ve seen move the goalpost, lol.
Great conversation! GRACE and Projection.
Just wanted to say Love the channel, enjoy the conversation and truly enjoy the new format
Keep it going
Great job as always. I like how the host can meet them where they are and connect it back to him original point.
The host is phenomenal and basically a guru at this point. I saw him being divine.
He has great analogies!!!
The table is what both individuals bring to it. It may look different in individual homes...just like actual tables 🤔. Each partnership has to discuss what that means for them with the expectation of building the table together!
As long as a woman doesn't think that her having more money is supposed to qualify her being the leader then it's all good. Leadership ain't got nun to do with the amount of money you have. Men's characteristics are better suited for leadership
Once again, another conversation of "WELL MEN DO IT TOO".... after answering a question on why men. 😂😂😂
Looking forward to watching the full episode. Might have to break it down because the mental gymnastics overloads my brain after it gets to a point😂
The table is not this mythical, complicated concept. It is the union, or potential union. What do you bring to the union? How can you benefit the union? Do you benefit the union? That's it. Nothing else.
1:49:03 THIS out of this whole convo this is the passage of the day. It definitely sounded like competition with the two women every point was a counter point and “what if” and a “not my perspective “ and that’s cool but y’all definitely were listening to respond rather than listen to respect and understand
Nope; still no grace given. Hard to incentivize some one to hand over their luxury & power... she put men wanting power at the start of this cycle . Not slavery not Jim Crow, not government assistance 😪. Wow
Decision we had no choices in making talk about grace.
I would love to hear the two guys speak. I gained so much as a feminine when listening to them
I gotta give this kind of stuff a break because constantly listening to women like this make me want to avoid women of my own community like the plague. There is zero empathy in this conversation these women can’t concede or acknowledge a single thing. Their entire position is I’m right and y’all are wrong no matter what. How on earth can we promote black love when this is the kind of women that are out there for us. This is absolutely deathly for a man’s mental health. We DESERVE peace and happiness in the women we live our lives with. I don’t care what trauma they’ve gone through because we can never use our trauma as reason to mentally abuse them so why should be accept that from them. Save yourselves black men whatever that looks like. Put yourself first second and third.
Speak!
The CONSTANT shifting and moving of the goals post ANYTIME accountability is thrown a womans way.
Just take the whooping and acknowledge it and QUIT trying to refocus the dysfunction back on the men.. GEEEZ!🙄
1:34:40 I threw my hat at the screen. I give up 😂
The table is the relationship. What u bring should be something desirable that the other person wants
1:35:57 talking about accountability then talkin about patriarchy is so wild. 💀💀💀
Same old stuff. These ladies dont believe they nor any other woman is ever wrong. Fellas, get yourself together and dont chase these women. They dont want or love you, just what you can do for them. Find your joy in life and quit worrying about women and what they think. Because most of them dont care about what you as a man wants or needs.
We seem to struggle with being agreeable.
Cus females struggle with taking accountability
@47:00 she definitely contradicted herself...leave her at home next time you do the table lol