My Humiliating Delusions
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.พ. 2025
- A Symptom of Schizophrenia is Delusions. It's something that I suffer from on a daily basis. For me, they are often humiliating. I often find myself paralyzed by them. Watch this episode of Schizophrenia and the City to find out more schizophrenic, Michelle Hammer.
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Michelle Hammer @schizophrenic.nyc / schizophrenic.nyc
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#schizophrenia #delusions #mentalhealth
Michelle, thank you for sharing your life like this.......
thank you for appreciating it.
glad you had the courage to talk about this 😊 it's really cool to see someone able to speak so candidly about this stuff that can be really personal.
Thank you!
Wow this is actually extremely helpful for me, I had a panic attack at work recently and passed out, and now i'm starting to take my mental health more seriously. My main delusion is thinking that I am a "Chosen One" or a prophet from the Bible. It has gotten to the point where I have literally tried to walk on water, I have tried to lift objects with my mind, and I wouldn't just try these things once or twice, I genuinely tried to practice them consistently as if they were a skill to be learned. I remember in High School I thought everyone knew all of my search history and had access to my TH-cam channel and Email, because I often felt like people at school would be talking about the exact thing that I was Googling the night before. I need to see a therapist consistently so they can ground me to reality.
I remember sharing my delusions with someone on a hotline and they hung up on me lol… since then I don’t usually like to share with others. So thank you.
Wow can’t believe that
I’m insightful enough to know 99% of the times that mine are delusions. But it’s more the sensation. It’s like watching a scary movie. You know it’s not real but you’re still scared by the content. The other 1% of times I begin to doubt myself. “What if this is the one time you let your guard down?” “If you thought that, someone else could too. Don’t ignore it.” “Just play it safe.” So on.
Good luck going forward.
I just found your TH-cam channel- I’m in school to get my masters in social work to work with clients like you and others who need therapy (which is everyone- everyone needs someone yo talk to, to unpack their drama/trauma) -
I just wanted to stop by and say I think your channel and your podcast Bipolar and a Schizophrenic is awesome! Even though I don’t know you personally, I am proud of you for finding your voice and having a heart to help/teach others! You go girl, Im learning a lot!
Ps: I found your channel after witnessing a schizophrenic speaking out loud to someone (but no one was there)- he was obviously having a delusion. I have seen him before, but now I know, yes he definitely has schizo. You’ve made me feel so much more comfortable in the idea to go up to him and say hi. Ty
Wow you really nailed it! I feel like I have a good solid memory of something and no one else seems to have the same memory...I feel like I am always trying to explain to people why I know that memory is a reality. I'm mentally drained after any family gathering and working is out of the question. Thanks for your videos...I am here via Laurens interview and I definitely subscribing!
Thank you!!
@@SchizophrenicNYC any chance you are going to come out with some 1x 2x 3x t-shirts? Anti-psychotics have made me in the need of some bigger shirts than I saw here...or maybe did I miss them?
I have shirts in those sizes
@@SchizophrenicNYC fantastic! I will look at them again. I am so excited to have a T that actually acknowledges SZ and makes no attempt to shove it under the proverbial rug. I'm tired of being the little old aunt that has no husband and is a little crazy.🙃 Maybe it will let people know that its okay to ask respectfully. I got my mom and I t-shirts a couple of years ago that said 'schizophrenic' and my mom's said 'battle buddy' I had to have them made but they really let other people know its okay to acknowledge that I have SZ. I loved to wear it to doctor appointments and such.
Hi Michelle :) Thank you for creating these videos, and demystifying so much about schizophrenia. I hope we not only have more awareness and knowledge about schizophrenia but acceptance of people living with it. And I get the drift :D it's all good. I personally don't believe there is anything humiliating about having delusions, they're simply a part of your life experience. No matter what people may need support or interventions for, it does not take away from their dignity or humaneness :) (sidenote: when I say there is nothing humiliating about delusion I'm not trying to question how YOU feel, that is absolutely your own experience and your own right. But, other people need to get overcome the stigma!)
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I'm not schizophrenic but ocd and know what you mean by that SINKING into your brain feeling!
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With you hun, I get them too. On meds now but I still get them, I'm going to reduce my meds as I want myself back with whatever senses are happening or not.
🙏🏽 Thank You for being so open n honest! You are so expressive and a breath of fresh air 😊
Thank you for being so open and honest about this on here. I really do appreciate it so, so much.
Thank you!
@@SchizophrenicNYC Can I messege you on Twitter?
@@SchizophrenicNYC Anytime. I can relate 100%
@@MichelleTorez yes
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder when I was five or six I don't remember right I know it's on the paperwork I have to go look eventually they rediagnosed me at 13 and then they rediagnosed me at 21 I am 22 now I can't count how many medications I have been on and off on and off because the medicine would work a couple weeks to a couple months but its always the same it just one day stops working and besides that i sometimes get so lost in my head i forget my meds for a few days to a week only snapping back to taking then when the voices get bad im used to the smoke people but im hoping this once a month shot will help me out some 🤞
Thanks for sharing this, I think it's really admirable that you shared it even though you have some shame surrounding it. I have a question about delusions. If you believe these things are 100% true, how do you know that they're delusions, and not just facts? Is it because other people don't believe them?
First, thank you. To answer your question, I’m always told I’m making things up. I just don’t believe them.
Delusions are the worst. It is embarrassing after I get better
They are definitely hard to manage
@@SchizophrenicNYC oh I got my ring I ordered from you. I really like it. Thanks again. 😊
You’re welcome
Thank yoiu for making this video
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One delusion I believe to be 100% true is that I walked into an African bar and I could understand people talking to me in a different language and I understood all the music and dances. When I tell the story nobody believes me though. This was my schizophrenia super power moment
I believe you!
It's a delusion, it's not true. That's the definition of a delusion.
@S K yeah it’s not a problem until stress and insomnia are involved and then it gets way worse
Thank you!
I love you keep going keep fighting I feel your pain I deal with a lot of the same things . your so tuff you handle it better than I do.we are soldiers
I have had 3 years at 24 I had my psychotic break I still have a little wave of symptoms of psychotic episodes for time to time while being on the medicine but it’s not bad like the first one I had since 2020
My delusions usually consist of people being after me advertisements speaking directly to me and kind of things like that I also have Autism so i kind of hard time communicating to people anyway
Now I want to hear about these delusions.
Talking about them is so triggering
We good !❤
Yes I know of a family that’s exactly like what you spoke of. There delusion of delusions are delusions. Coo Coo😂😂😂😂😂
❤ my daughter has schizophrenia . Ty
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hey it's cool BUT this is actually a simulation and no one else is real but me and it's run by doctors that are collecting data on something I haven't figured out yet or it's something mystical (that I believe every once in awhile haha)
Also I'm schizophrenic as hell but that doesn't mean that's not all true 😂 I feel ya girl I have some really embarrassing ones too that I don't like talking about. Thanks for sharing :)
The thing is 1000 years ago you're simply be "touched" by the other side. This leaves me confused it must be much harder for you ..
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Do you have delusions in your dreams? 🛌
you have false memory ocd with elements of harm ocd rooted in the emotion of shame. You cannot discern due to fear and the magnitude of the emotion. If enough time passes, if you have ocd, you can see the past tooughts as being absurd. It does not sound like schizo
Denial isn't just an Egyptian river 🤣
Doesn't mean that they are delusions. You could be psychic, or highly gifted.
I could also be an alien
@@SchizophrenicNYC never know
No. Just no
How hard is it for you to make these videos?... Does talking to subscribers help you?
You sound like you should have a top spot in the Democratic Party, you'd fit perfectly.
You too
🖤
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder when I was five or six I don't remember right I know it's on the paperwork I have to go look eventually they rediagnosed me at 13 and then they rediagnosed me at 21 I am 22 now I can't count how many medications I have been on and off on and off because the medicine would work a couple weeks to a couple months but its always the same it just one day stops working and besides that i sometimes get so lost in my head i forget my meds for a few days to a week only snapping back to taking then when the voices get bad im used to the smoke people but im hoping this once a month shot will help me out some 🤞