Jonny: “The director is considered by some to be the worst director ever.” Me: “Is it Uwe Boll? It has to be Uwe Boll.” Narrator’s voice: “It was indeed Uwe Boll.”
@@protozoanproHe is, he really is. I cried like a bitch at the end of SLC Punk lol. I was like 11 years old when I watched it, and he still made me cry. I WASN'T A BITCH!
So this movie had Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman, Claire Forlani, Kristanna Loken, Matthew Lillard, Ray Liotta AND BURT REYNOLDS! Jesus Chris, who did Uwe blackmail to get them for this trainwreck?
Probably he gets the money because of the stars (and some German tax evasion scheme) and the stars because of the money. You have to give him credit for that.
He has worked with other big actors and when asked about it he said: Actors are basically prostitutes that will do everything if you give them enough money
@@steffenbendel6031It's not tax evasion, Germany pay failures like him to keep producing shit content. Germany stopped to be a country around 1930 and never became one again aftaer that.
I remember trying to watch this movie *twice* , but the cringe was way too strong for me... So, basically, you're the reason I know anything about this movie's ending now. Also, iirc, this director got funding for his movies using some kind of culture tax incentive in Germany, that I don't think exists anymore. And the money was how he got the actors, who also have bills to pay so I don't blame them. Also also, I watched an interview with the writer for Bloodrayne and she said that after she was hired, she was two weeks late. Then Uwe called her asking, and I quote, *"Where's my fucking script?!!!!"* . She wrote a draft, so they could have a starting point to shape the story, and was informed he *went into production* . Months later, she gets an invitation for the premiere. He shot the _entire movie with a draft script_ , made changes himself, and let the actors "take a crack at it". And I think this explains so much about his work. I'll try to find the interview to link. ETA: Found it!! th-cam.com/video/FPgkwRvC1ZM/w-d-xo.html
Granted, my great grandfather was named boy until Buffalo Bill rode through their farm in Nebraska and was so weirded out by how the kid had no name he said "You can have my name then" and they named the kid William Frederick. Then tons of kids born in my family were all called variations of Fred and William.
13:17 "Like something out of a Japanese soap commercial." I was wondering what you could possibly mean by that, but after seeing the clip that followed, I was awed by the perfection of that description. Kudos. Also kinda gave me some Morning Rescue vibes.
Uwe Boll payed really well, due in no small part to (alleged) tax fraud. At the time Uwe Boll was making these films, there was a loophole in German tax laws that resulted in massive financial kickbacks if movies that were filmed in the country happened to bomb at the box office. Rumor has it that these loopholes were closed specifically because authorities believed that Uwe Boll was deliberately exploiting them. Funnily enough, Uwe Boll did indeed film all of his movies in Germany, then lost all American funding/support for his films almost immediately after those loopholes were closed. But I'm sure that's just a coincidence, though, right? 😉
Did the guy have dirt on half of Hollywood or something?! I remember seeing the list of actors, back in the day, and thinking it would probably be at least somewhat watchable fun, but … wow!
It's an achievement in itself to a) get the money and b) get these actors and c) get the movie made and distributed. Cudos for that, I think I need to send him fan mail to get him as a mentor. 😄
Fun fact about the whole parents dying before they could name the child, children weren’t often named until sometime past after their birth, because of how frequent death was for both children and mothers during childbirth, as well as insufficient medical care for infants, the mortality rate was just high. so it seems odd to us in the modern day, but essentially to prevent an emotional bond from forming on a child that was more likely to die than live it was just the society norm to not name the child until it was more likely that they would be sticking around. But that actually makes kind of sense for that plot point, I can’t say the same for many others in this movie lol
Hell yeah Jonny! Jason Statham movie fan here too. Totally my potato chip kind of movies of choice. My hubby always teases me about it. If you're open to suggestions, another guilty pleasure of mine... I wont defend it.... George and the Dragon. It's become nostalgic for me but it's not exactly a good movie by any stretch. But very entertaining and very endearing. Probably not in the bottom 100 but its got a 5.6 on IMDB. (The end credits music is laughably horrendous! )
Was John Rhys-Davies just... bored? Seriously. Guy was a millionaire at this point and had been in two massive franchises. The hell is wrong with him?🤦
The actors in LOTR didn’t actually make a ton of money considering the time it took to make. Orlando said he made around $175k for all 3 movies. Thats only $60k a year. Most of the actors haven’t been disclosed. John Rhys-Davies is only worth about $5mil mon. Andy Serkis was one of the highest payed actors at an estimated $1 mil plus maybe some royalties, IDK. He also narrates the book on audible. No idea what he was paid for that but he’s worth every penny IMO. With All the character acting he does reading the book I’ve been curious to see if he played more than just gollum in the movies. His portal of all the orcs running to Isengard was spot on to the films but took 2-3hrs to narrate.
I hope you are doing okay. The YT algorythm hasn't been kind to you lately, but I hope you haven't given up on creating great content. Ups and downs, you know...
Music is a huge part of movies. Even if people don’t realise it. Helps punctuate the moment. The two that Jonny highlights, it’s almost as if they accidentally mixed them up. If you just switch the burial and end battle scenes around it’d work much better than it does.
I had nearly forgotten the cringe I experienced in Boll's movies. That you for reminding me. That said, isn't "An Uwe Boll Film" correct? I'm german, but they taught us in school that you use "an" whenever the following word starts with a vowel. 🤔
The way he was pronouncing Uwe was incorrect. He was pronouncing it like "You" which begins with the consonant Y sound. If Uwe was pronounced like this, "A Uwe Boll Film" would be correct. However, "Uwe" is actually pronounced "OO-va", which begins with a vowel sound, making "An Uwe Boll Film" correct.
My um...1st exposure, to Uwe was via BloodRayne (1). At that viewing, i knew we had someone "special" to watch out for. I then watched "House of the Dead" and oh my goodness, it was like seeing Ed Wood reincarnated and given some money. Needless to say, dear Ulwe has not disappointed me since. He is a treasure that like Tommy Wiseau, must be safe-guarded and protected. Their contributions to Cinema are legendary and I nominate them as de facto winners of the "Ed Wood Director's Award" for comedic genius outside the norm. but uh...ymmv :)
I know you're a bit critical of this movie, and rightly so, however I wish modern movies were half this good. I'll even take the "subtle" feminist messaging. Oh wow. I had no idea there was a sequel.....I may have to watch it. I hadn't been interested in knowing what happened next....but modern movies and tv have left a lot wanting...
The first things I think of when I see Ron Pearlman are all pretty much all fantasy. The Ice Pirates, Beauty and the Beast, hell Alien Resurrection and Blade2? Even Hellboy would be categorized as fantasy before action. it kind of amazes me how people these days seem to think that an actor's resume only consists of things that were made in the last 15-20 years. if he's a big enough name to be surprised he was in this schlock, he's big enough for people to have looked for and watched some of his extensive back catalog.
Comparatively indian movies and media copied exactly all of Lord Of The Rings, Harry Potter, Pirates Of The Caribbean , both DC and marvel and probably other superhero studios as well along with Game Of Thrones, etc and still managed to earned tons of money in no tine by making it's own Without giving credit at all!
Hahaha yes. Love the skits! Could be a good cornerstone of your channel. You nail them everytime. Doesnt have to be high quality well thought out. That's what makes these ones so good. Just shows us what we're all thinking lmao. Keep it up champ
Does no one know what Dungeon Siege is? The main character in Dungeon Siege is a farmer..... not in the shire......and they are forced to take up arms against the Krug, weird orc-like things. Honestly, this whole video is a super far reach... This was a movie about a computer game that has like 4 in it's series, with the last one being the furthest connected in the series. If you want, Dungeon Seige is on steam, although you have to go through some hoops to get it to run. Play the game, see how dumb these connections look now, and realize they didn't copy The Lord Of The Rings.
@@Glenn1440-p1p You can pretend it was a super "gotcha" moment but look at release date for Dungeon Siege- the games and The Lord Of The Rings movie..... Big fail on your part. If we are talking the The Lord Of The Rings books, then the differences are even greater. Also, Hobbits aren't JUST farmers. That is damn near saying that Every human is a farmer..... Also Orcs have gone through Many different iterations including differing aspects that greatly influence their physical appearance, temperament and intelligence. If you want to boil things down to singular elements, My Little Pony ripped off Popeye- because they are sentient beings in a cantonized world dealing with the struggles of their individualized predicaments. See how dumb this type of argument is? It is the same as saying Skyrim is a Souls-like. If you believe that, you have screws loose and likely put the square shape in the circle hole.....infinitely.
@@steelclackers2611 Same, my brother got me into it. It was just weird that people would make the massive jump from Lord Of The Rings to Dungeon Siege, like, the two aren't all that similar. So it felt like no one even knew this was a game and just thought of the movie as a rip off of The Lord Of The Rings.... or clickbait....
Dear God, I never realized where this empty feeling that I always felt came from, until you showed me that the thing that was missing from my life is a full 10-hour long trilogy with Statham as Gandalf.
I did PR for a Uwe Boll DVD/Blu-ray release AND also wrote a review that I'd rather be decapitated while my bowels are ripped out than watch another... Truth be told, there are some redeeming qualities and Rampage even was an excellent film. I interviewed the guy as well (for the BIFFF) and he's definitely out there. ;-) By the way: 'Uwe' is a german name, so no J sound in the beginning, which would definitely make it 'An Uwe Boll film' and not 'A Uwe Boll film' ;-)
As much as I hate what he does to his video game adaptations, there's an original film he made called Rampage about a lone gunman who goes on a chaotic killing spree in his hometown. It's actually a really good movie, and I was shocked to hear it was made by Uwe Boll. I'd rather not spoil it, hence the vague description.
The kicking orcs to death bit got me really good cause my fav thing to do in Ghost of Tsushima rn is swap between the two stances that let you chain the two side kicks and the heavy kick infinitely.
if ur interested, the only reason Uwe Boll makes movies, its because of the german deduction taxes something something that makes the lost of money go away, also the dude is extremely egocentric, he beat the shit out of journalists at a mock up boxe match and the dude was a boxing professional (my english isnt the best, love ur content, take care
Hope I don't offend Uwe Boll fans, but when I saw The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power there was a lot there that reminded me of Uwe Boll's films.
wow this is rings of power level writing👏👏! guy: "farmer will find u he will save u". wife:"how do u know?". guy: "because he must" 🤦🏻♀️this movie was in 2007, rings of power 2022 have we learned nothing?
@@sohrab_solheim yes sir, it's funny and interesting. I actually prefer the second half where he tells us about the hell or sometimes the good things that happen to make the movie.
This movie made me think that Uwe Boll has a bunch of spec scripts lying around, and he slaps on them the name of video games that he bought the rights to. Go into production, change a few things around and call it a day.
No. As an American, I say that American accents have no business in medieval fantasy movies. The whole point is that there is no literal connection to the time frame that Americans have. English accents make much more sense since England existed in that era of time. That is why it sounds more natural. Of course you could use French, Spanish, or any Slavic language as well. But if you're selling to Americans they 1. Need to be able to understand 2 it has to sound natural. I'm surprised this is even controversial.
10:45 I get this feeling often when listening to podcasts. Someone says mumble mumble mumble, everyone (that is actually there) laughs or agrees and I rewind multiple times, still only hear mumble mumble. Even more annoying is that often people increase their pitch and talking speed when reaching their point, so the words come closer, which makes their point harder to hear.
Wait....hold up....this is some Mandela Effect shit I could have SWORN that this movie ended like this: Ray Liotta starts doing magic shit and traps Farmer with books (yes books) and has him levitating and shit, and then the WIFE comes up behind him and stabs him and says like "you forgot the vengeance of a mother!" Did that actually happen and you just didn't show it, or am I going crazy?
I will say that back in the Middle Ages, certain cultures did hold off on naming children until they were one or two years old. Because a lot of infants didn’t live that long back then. But there’s no way Uwe thought of that. He just wanted his character to be mysterious or something.
Aaah Johnny! Also a huge Statham "fan" here. Seen all the movies, thus, seen this one also. However it is so unmemorable I forgot I've actually watched it. If that's not a top movie rating then I don't know what is 😂 thank yoi for churning out these hilarious reviews!
I have to admit I've seen this movie and thoroughly enjoyed it! Yes it was bad! But it was so bad that it became a good laugh! I'm slightly bias since I had a crush on the actress who played Muriella. Yes, it was heavily inspired by other movies and the director has some screws lose in his head, but overall it was nothing offensive like what they're trying to pass off as fantasy stories these days. And c'mon, if you're gonna have a medieval badass farmer who kicks orgs in the chest kung fu style, Jason Statham is the man for the job! 😂😂😂
In a lot of ancient cultures, due to the high levels of infant mortality, children were often not named until around their 10th birthday or in some cases even much later.
Finally, something a German can’t do better than everyone aside from losing wars. Seriously though somewhere out there a movie studio approved and funded this 😂
I laughed sooo hard at the "I need a fothmawk of a salana".... In my mother tongue "szalonna" (very similar pronounciation) means lard (the one that's a solid block like a very lardy bacon, not the spread). So to me it sounded like after burying his child, Farmer wanted a good chunk of lard to eat 🤣
23:00 Come on Johnny, really? I mean, either my English teacher in my German school was wrong, or the Kraut here knows (selectively) more about English than you :P If there's a (phonetic?) consonant after you'd write "a" (like the U in Uwe here), you usually write an "an" instead.
He has no idea about how Uwe is pronounced, so he says "you" the whole time, that's why he didn't realise it's actually a vowel and requires "an" instead of "a".
I haven't thought of this movie in a long time. I remember it as a lackluster fantasy with a bit of charm, so I wasn't laughing my ass off at it the entire movie. If I remember the setup for Jason's reveal as Burt's son right, John hid Jason as a kid in the stables during a revolt or something. Even he thought (since it burned down or something) he was dead until the attack on Jason's village where he recognized Ron, the former stableboy. That fact that Jason sums up the reveal as one old man recognizing another just makes it hilarious.
A boomerang is a cool weapon, but movies always forgets about physics. A boomerang is designed to return to the thrower IF they should miss the target, if you hit the target it will drop momentum and fall, it won't continue it's path and return to sender.
When you started to talk about “the worst director in the film business” my mind went *if he mentions anyone besides Uwe Boll, he’s wrong. and by god, you came through. I once watched a behind the scenes featurette of him getting PLASTERED with two film journalists, and this man’s delusions should be studied.
I was so excited for this to come out back then as I was playing the shit out of Dungeon SIege. Amazing game, and what a disappointment that movie turned out to be. Didn't get past minute ten. Watched your whole 25 minutes though.
There and back again: A boomerang's tale
Dude just take my channel, you’re a genius 😂
One of the funniest comments I’ve seen this year!
Underrated comment
You're too funny for your own good
Get outta here! 😂
"THEY'RE TAKING THE SHEEP TO ISENGARD!"
9:50 "They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them!"
Jonny: “The director is considered by some to be the worst director ever.”
Me: “Is it Uwe Boll? It has to be Uwe Boll.”
Narrator’s voice: “It was indeed Uwe Boll.”
I put Shaggy’s performance down to him being 100% aware of just what he’s in the middle of 😂
He's a brave brave man
he probably only there for a paycheck
He’s using only 1% of his power in his scenes
@@protozoanproHe is, he really is. I cried like a bitch at the end of SLC Punk lol. I was like 11 years old when I watched it, and he still made me cry. I WASN'T A BITCH!
Johnny... You're doing Uwe's first name roughly the same justice he does the source materials of his movies :P
Hahaha. Sick burn dude.
This movie had source material??!?
@@aedwardsss incredibly... the game Dungeon Siege.
The sad thing is, I would take any of these pre 2017 movies over what they turn out now.
I know I miss old bad movies that were bad for a number of reasons vs All movies are bad now because they are the exact same woke crap
Uwe Boll has been making post-2017 movies for decades mate
So this movie had Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman, Claire Forlani, Kristanna Loken, Matthew Lillard, Ray Liotta AND BURT REYNOLDS! Jesus Chris, who did Uwe blackmail to get them for this trainwreck?
Probably he gets the money because of the stars (and some German tax evasion scheme) and the stars because of the money. You have to give him credit for that.
He has worked with other big actors and when asked about it he said: Actors are basically prostitutes that will do everything if you give them enough money
honestly it feels like that, lots of great names for a title forgotten by the gamers
@@steffenbendel6031It's not tax evasion, Germany pay failures like him to keep producing shit content.
Germany stopped to be a country around 1930 and never became one again aftaer that.
Everyone wanted to hop on the lotr bandwagon
I always thought this movie would have done better if it went full " robin hood: men in tights" instead of taking itself seriously.
But that requires actual talent though...
I remember trying to watch this movie *twice* , but the cringe was way too strong for me... So, basically, you're the reason I know anything about this movie's ending now.
Also, iirc, this director got funding for his movies using some kind of culture tax incentive in Germany, that I don't think exists anymore. And the money was how he got the actors, who also have bills to pay so I don't blame them.
Also also, I watched an interview with the writer for Bloodrayne and she said that after she was hired, she was two weeks late. Then Uwe called her asking, and I quote, *"Where's my fucking script?!!!!"* . She wrote a draft, so they could have a starting point to shape the story, and was informed he *went into production* . Months later, she gets an invitation for the premiere. He shot the _entire movie with a draft script_ , made changes himself, and let the actors "take a crack at it". And I think this explains so much about his work. I'll try to find the interview to link.
ETA: Found it!! th-cam.com/video/FPgkwRvC1ZM/w-d-xo.html
🤣🤣 if this is true, then it explains so much
Thank you! That was hilarious! 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
"Just when I thought I could handle the cringe, they pushed me away again."
heard a funny story that when it come to the Warcraft movie, the game producers insisted that Uwe Boll would never ever direct it.
“We have a few terms….”
Granted, my great grandfather was named boy until Buffalo Bill rode through their farm in Nebraska and was so weirded out by how the kid had no name he said "You can have my name then" and they named the kid William Frederick. Then tons of kids born in my family were all called variations of Fred and William.
13:17 "Like something out of a Japanese soap commercial." I was wondering what you could possibly mean by that, but after seeing the clip that followed, I was awed by the perfection of that description. Kudos. Also kinda gave me some Morning Rescue vibes.
Him using a boomerang to scare crows made me think they drew inspiration from Zelda.😂
In the game you have middle ranged weapons, such as boomerangs and chakrams
Oh god, Uwe Boll...
I'm German. As a German, let me speak for Germany.
*We don't claim Boll.*
As another German, I second that. Not our favourit Mitmensch :-)
as another german, no i thank for uwes horrible movies, so many drunken evenings with the boys
@@Weaslgas indeed...most indeededly... ...also fun fact: this is the Uwe Boll movie Uwe Boll ist most proud of.
😅
Careful now. He's known to kick critics' asses in the boxing arena
Sad thing is, this had some real actors in it. It could have been passable with a real script and director
2:55 I CORRECT YOU as requested: „Uwe“ is pronounced „Oova“ (with the „a“ pronounced as in „vanished“), not „You“. So the „an“ fits.
Yep.
How on earth did they convince big name actors to play in this is beyond me.
As he himself once said: Hollywood actors are just prostitutes that will do anything if you give them enough money
A lot of these actors are known for being in these types of movies, bad movies I mean.
Also mansions aren't cheap.
Uwe Boll payed really well, due in no small part to (alleged) tax fraud.
At the time Uwe Boll was making these films, there was a loophole in German tax laws that resulted in massive financial kickbacks if movies that were filmed in the country happened to bomb at the box office. Rumor has it that these loopholes were closed specifically because authorities believed that Uwe Boll was deliberately exploiting them.
Funnily enough, Uwe Boll did indeed film all of his movies in Germany, then lost all American funding/support for his films almost immediately after those loopholes were closed. But I'm sure that's just a coincidence, though, right? 😉
It’s called “money” 😂
Jonny acting like we don't know he picked this movie to show off his boomerang skills and fancy sword 😁
Did the guy have dirt on half of Hollywood or something?! I remember seeing the list of actors, back in the day, and thinking it would probably be at least somewhat watchable fun, but … wow!
That's hilarious
He's a German director, not related to Hollywood, them actors just wanted to be paid and never cared about the craft ir art as a whole
It's an achievement in itself to a) get the money and b) get these actors and c) get the movie made and distributed. Cudos for that, I think I need to send him fan mail to get him as a mentor. 😄
Uwe famously said that this Movie is way better that LOTR and called them crap. 😂
Fun fact about the whole parents dying before they could name the child, children weren’t often named until sometime past after their birth, because of how frequent death was for both children and mothers during childbirth, as well as insufficient medical care for infants, the mortality rate was just high. so it seems odd to us in the modern day, but essentially to prevent an emotional bond from forming on a child that was more likely to die than live it was just the society norm to not name the child until it was more likely that they would be sticking around. But that actually makes kind of sense for that plot point, I can’t say the same for many others in this movie lol
Looks better than rings of power
I’m sorry but.. no…
@@eastonenroth2366
Rings of power is an abomination
@@davidw1634 yeah but at least with that the only bad part is the story and the show looking half made
@@davidw1634 it really isn't.
Agreed. And better than GOT
Hell yeah Jonny! Jason Statham movie fan here too. Totally my potato chip kind of movies of choice. My hubby always teases me about it.
If you're open to suggestions, another guilty pleasure of mine... I wont defend it.... George and the Dragon. It's become nostalgic for me but it's not exactly a good movie by any stretch. But very entertaining and very endearing. Probably not in the bottom 100 but its got a 5.6 on IMDB. (The end credits music is laughably horrendous! )
My guilty pleasure is Eragon. Even though I've read the books.
@@juleangrasmeijer4770HOW ?
I've read the books, and the movie fueled me with hate
Beekeeper was bad ass
I actually like George and the Dragon 😂
What is the name of this movie
Was John Rhys-Davies just... bored? Seriously. Guy was a millionaire at this point and had been in two massive franchises. The hell is wrong with him?🤦
The actors in LOTR didn’t actually make a ton of money considering the time it took to make. Orlando said he made around $175k for all 3 movies. Thats only $60k a year. Most of the actors haven’t been disclosed. John Rhys-Davies is only worth about $5mil mon. Andy Serkis was one of the highest payed actors at an estimated $1 mil plus maybe some royalties, IDK. He also narrates the book on audible. No idea what he was paid for that but he’s worth every penny IMO. With All the character acting he does reading the book I’ve been curious to see if he played more than just gollum in the movies. His portal of all the orcs running to Isengard was spot on to the films but took 2-3hrs to narrate.
@@chriswilliams9069 "Only worth about 5 million". I wish I had that problem 🤣
I hope you are doing okay. The YT algorythm hasn't been kind to you lately, but I hope you haven't given up on creating great content. Ups and downs, you know...
Music is a huge part of movies. Even if people don’t realise it. Helps punctuate the moment. The two that Jonny highlights, it’s almost as if they accidentally mixed them up. If you just switch the burial and end battle scenes around it’d work much better than it does.
I had nearly forgotten the cringe I experienced in Boll's movies. That you for reminding me.
That said, isn't "An Uwe Boll Film" correct? I'm german, but they taught us in school that you use "an" whenever the following word starts with a vowel. 🤔
The way he was pronouncing Uwe was incorrect. He was pronouncing it like "You" which begins with the consonant Y sound. If Uwe was pronounced like this, "A Uwe Boll Film" would be correct.
However, "Uwe" is actually pronounced "OO-va", which begins with a vowel sound, making "An Uwe Boll Film" correct.
@@lemond2007
That's exactly what I was thinking, thank you.
th-cam.com/video/w2CV6NHN9Yo/w-d-xo.html
Oh...Uwe is the one behind "Postal". I lost dozens of IQ points after watching that one.
Someone needs to explain Uwe that a boomerang only returns when you miss your target.
"A movie that dared to copy LOTR"
Do you know how _little_ that narrows it down?
My um...1st exposure, to Uwe was via BloodRayne (1).
At that viewing, i knew we had someone "special" to watch out for.
I then watched "House of the Dead" and oh my goodness, it was like seeing Ed Wood reincarnated and given some money.
Needless to say, dear Ulwe has not disappointed me since. He is a treasure that like Tommy Wiseau, must be safe-guarded and protected.
Their contributions to Cinema are legendary and I nominate them as de facto winners of the "Ed Wood Director's Award" for comedic genius outside the norm.
but uh...ymmv :)
He's called Uwe Boll, Not U Boll.
If you want to watch a truly awful Uwe Boll film, you need to review Alone in the Dark. Funniest horror movies I've ever watched
I know you're a bit critical of this movie, and rightly so, however I wish modern movies were half this good. I'll even take the "subtle" feminist messaging.
Oh wow. I had no idea there was a sequel.....I may have to watch it. I hadn't been interested in knowing what happened next....but modern movies and tv have left a lot wanting...
I'm most annoyed by their blatant rip-off of Jackson's orcs. What were they thinking? There were so many other aesthetics to choose from.
I know it's kinda weird to make a comment about this, that's kinda the vibe it's like from the video game it's based on.
The first things I think of when I see Ron Pearlman are all pretty much all fantasy. The Ice Pirates, Beauty and the Beast, hell Alien Resurrection and Blade2? Even Hellboy would be categorized as fantasy before action. it kind of amazes me how people these days seem to think that an actor's resume only consists of things that were made in the last 15-20 years. if he's a big enough name to be surprised he was in this schlock, he's big enough for people to have looked for and watched some of his extensive back catalog.
Wow - never heard of this movie before... but now I know what I must watch tonight 🤣
Comparatively indian movies and media copied exactly all of Lord Of The Rings, Harry Potter, Pirates Of The Caribbean , both DC and marvel and probably other superhero studios as well along with Game Of Thrones, etc and still managed to earned tons of money in no tine by making it's own Without giving credit at all!
Hahaha yes. Love the skits! Could be a good cornerstone of your channel. You nail them everytime. Doesnt have to be high quality well thought out. That's what makes these ones so good. Just shows us what we're all thinking lmao. Keep it up champ
Does no one know what Dungeon Siege is? The main character in Dungeon Siege is a farmer..... not in the shire......and they are forced to take up arms against the Krug, weird orc-like things. Honestly, this whole video is a super far reach...
This was a movie about a computer game that has like 4 in it's series, with the last one being the furthest connected in the series. If you want, Dungeon Seige is on steam, although you have to go through some hoops to get it to run. Play the game, see how dumb these connections look now, and realize they didn't copy The Lord Of The Rings.
Ah, thanks for confirming that it was a game adaptation as I had recalled it.
Guess what hobbits are? Farmers. Guess what Orcs are? Orc-like creatures (like the krug). Your words, not mine 😁.
@@Glenn1440-p1p You can pretend it was a super "gotcha" moment but look at release date for Dungeon Siege- the games and The Lord Of The Rings movie..... Big fail on your part. If we are talking the The Lord Of The Rings books, then the differences are even greater. Also, Hobbits aren't JUST farmers. That is damn near saying that Every human is a farmer..... Also Orcs have gone through Many different iterations including differing aspects that greatly influence their physical appearance, temperament and intelligence. If you want to boil things down to singular elements, My Little Pony ripped off Popeye- because they are sentient beings in a cantonized world dealing with the struggles of their individualized predicaments. See how dumb this type of argument is? It is the same as saying Skyrim is a Souls-like. If you believe that, you have screws loose and likely put the square shape in the circle hole.....infinitely.
It's the game from my childhood I kept playing all the time. So yeah I hoped someone will spot it 🎉
@@steelclackers2611 Same, my brother got me into it. It was just weird that people would make the massive jump from Lord Of The Rings to Dungeon Siege, like, the two aren't all that similar. So it felt like no one even knew this was a game and just thought of the movie as a rip off of The Lord Of The Rings.... or clickbait....
Dear God, I never realized where this empty feeling that I always felt came from, until you showed me that the thing that was missing from my life is a full 10-hour long trilogy with Statham as Gandalf.
Not gunna lie this movie is absolute shit in almost everyway. But damn I have always enjoyed it. Its a loveable piece of shit.
Uwe Boll = Oove Boll = an Oove Boll film.
23:02 Apparently 'Uwe' is pronounced 'OO-vah' or something like that, not like 'you' or 'you-ee'.
I did PR for a Uwe Boll DVD/Blu-ray release AND also wrote a review that I'd rather be decapitated while my bowels are ripped out than watch another... Truth be told, there are some redeeming qualities and Rampage even was an excellent film. I interviewed the guy as well (for the BIFFF) and he's definitely out there. ;-) By the way: 'Uwe' is a german name, so no J sound in the beginning, which would definitely make it 'An Uwe Boll film' and not 'A Uwe Boll film' ;-)
As much as I hate what he does to his video game adaptations, there's an original film he made called Rampage about a lone gunman who goes on a chaotic killing spree in his hometown. It's actually a really good movie, and I was shocked to hear it was made by Uwe Boll. I'd rather not spoil it, hence the vague description.
That film is legendary^^ I love it and give it a 100 out of 100. That was the best movie ever made 🤣🤣🤣
I get Uwe Boll and Werner Herzog confused and I feel like that’s valid.
The kicking orcs to death bit got me really good cause my fav thing to do in Ghost of Tsushima rn is swap between the two stances that let you chain the two side kicks and the heavy kick infinitely.
I keep wondering of all these bad films are just money laundering schemes.
if ur interested, the only reason Uwe Boll makes movies, its because of the german deduction taxes something something that makes the lost of money go away, also the dude is extremely egocentric, he beat the shit out of journalists at a mock up boxe match and the dude was a boxing professional (my english isnt the best, love ur content, take care
also its just crazy how many top tier actor there is, im legit confused
Oh I remember this movie! I gave up after 10 minutes 😅
Hope I don't offend Uwe Boll fans, but when I saw The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power there was a lot there that reminded me of Uwe Boll's films.
wow this is rings of power level writing👏👏! guy: "farmer will find u he will save u". wife:"how do u know?". guy: "because he must" 🤦🏻♀️this movie was in 2007, rings of power 2022 have we learned nothing?
I have watched too many films from this guy.....they all sucked, I don't know why I kept doing it tho😂😂😂 I was a disturbed teenager I guess.
Too be honest some movies are so bad they're good, if only for parody. Have you seen "GOOD BAD FLICKS"? That guy has a passion for the movies.
@@ernestschroeder9762 I guess you're right, no I haven't seen it, is it a youtube channel?
@@sohrab_solheim yes sir, it's funny and interesting. I actually prefer the second half where he tells us about the hell or sometimes the good things that happen to make the movie.
"Postal" is hilarious.
This movie made me think that Uwe Boll has a bunch of spec scripts lying around, and he slaps on them the name of video games that he bought the rights to. Go into production, change a few things around and call it a day.
Apparently with how German law and insurance works, it's basically a cash scam for him.
John Rhys being in here probably is the most authentic this film could ever get!😂😂😅
Niiice, time for another Law video. Also the Outset Island theme is forever a win
Maybe Boll pronounces “Uwe” with a short “U”, in which case “an” is correct. Either way he’s got guts to put his name on this piece of crap.
Yes, he does, that's how his name is pronounced.
The German first name "Uwe" is pronounced like OO-vuh (long OO sound as in moon, and a soft v as in vine, short 'uh' sound)
Are you taking a break on this channel? Thankfully I get my weekly dose of Jonny over on your Zelda channel :D
Where did this channel go? No new content for way too long. You do great commentary, hope to see you back at it soon.
Who are the first two actors we see? One who's worked with Scorsese, the other who's worked with Kubrick. Wow.
4:20 Not every fantasy movie is based on England. Europe doesn't own the fantasy genre. Yes your comment sounds like you just hate American accents.
Smoke em' if you gottem
His point is rather, that the ppl talk like modern day ppl. The vocabulary and tone should match the time, regardless of the franchise
No. As an American, I say that American accents have no business in medieval fantasy movies. The whole point is that there is no literal connection to the time frame that Americans have. English accents make much more sense since England existed in that era of time. That is why it sounds more natural. Of course you could use French, Spanish, or any Slavic language as well. But if you're selling to Americans they
1. Need to be able to understand
2 it has to sound natural.
I'm surprised this is even controversial.
That's some House of The Flying Daggers wirework lmaoo
10:45 I get this feeling often when listening to podcasts. Someone says mumble mumble mumble, everyone (that is actually there) laughs or agrees and I rewind multiple times, still only hear mumble mumble. Even more annoying is that often people increase their pitch and talking speed when reaching their point, so the words come closer, which makes their point harder to hear.
Wait....hold up....this is some Mandela Effect shit I could have SWORN that this movie ended like this: Ray Liotta starts doing magic shit and traps Farmer with books (yes books) and has him levitating and shit, and then the WIFE comes up behind him and stabs him and says like "you forgot the vengeance of a mother!" Did that actually happen and you just didn't show it, or am I going crazy?
I will say that back in the Middle Ages, certain cultures did hold off on naming children until they were one or two years old. Because a lot of infants didn’t live that long back then. But there’s no way Uwe thought of that. He just wanted his character to be mysterious or something.
Uwe Boll made a kid's dream come true - making a movie based on a kid's room playground set
I see no difference from Rings of Power. Uwe is a visionary XDDDDDD
Neither do I. If the protagonist was a Karen I couldn't find the difference.
Aaah Johnny! Also a huge Statham "fan" here. Seen all the movies, thus, seen this one also. However it is so unmemorable I forgot I've actually watched it. If that's not a top movie rating then I don't know what is 😂 thank yoi for churning out these hilarious reviews!
I have to admit I've seen this movie and thoroughly enjoyed it! Yes it was bad! But it was so bad that it became a good laugh! I'm slightly bias since I had a crush on the actress who played Muriella. Yes, it was heavily inspired by other movies and the director has some screws lose in his head, but overall it was nothing offensive like what they're trying to pass off as fantasy stories these days. And c'mon, if you're gonna have a medieval badass farmer who kicks orgs in the chest kung fu style, Jason Statham is the man for the job! 😂😂😂
so one might say his full name is
Farmer Boy
In a lot of ancient cultures, due to the high levels of infant mortality, children were often not named until around their 10th birthday or in some cases even much later.
You put AN in front of a name that starts with a vowel
ex:
A George Lucas film
Vs
An Avi Arad Film
You put the "an" article in front of a word that is PRONOUNCED with a starting vowel. Words like Europe, universe, eulogy, etc
Still better than Rings of Power
That's a really low bar you set there, mate 😂
Finally, something a German can’t do better than everyone aside from losing wars.
Seriously though somewhere out there a movie studio approved and funded this 😂
To be fair, all Uwe Boll movies are better than the Rings of Power TV show for a small pittance of the budget.
I laughed sooo hard at the "I need a fothmawk of a salana".... In my mother tongue "szalonna" (very similar pronounciation) means lard (the one that's a solid block like a very lardy bacon, not the spread). So to me it sounded like after burying his child, Farmer wanted a good chunk of lard to eat 🤣
23:00 Come on Johnny, really? I mean, either my English teacher in my German school was wrong, or the Kraut here knows (selectively) more about English than you :P
If there's a (phonetic?) consonant after you'd write "a" (like the U in Uwe here), you usually write an "an" instead.
He has no idea about how Uwe is pronounced, so he says "you" the whole time, that's why he didn't realise it's actually a vowel and requires "an" instead of "a".
After watching Ron Perlman face off with killer mutant monkeys, this could be a step up.
I haven't thought of this movie in a long time. I remember it as a lackluster fantasy with a bit of charm, so I wasn't laughing my ass off at it the entire movie.
If I remember the setup for Jason's reveal as Burt's son right, John hid Jason as a kid in the stables during a revolt or something. Even he thought (since it burned down or something) he was dead until the attack on Jason's village where he recognized Ron, the former stableboy. That fact that Jason sums up the reveal as one old man recognizing another just makes it hilarious.
I'm genuinely curious how they got all those well known actors to be in this hilarious atrocity of a movie.
Games is fanfic of game "The Dungeon Siege". Nice game, and had tons of mods. Have huge fans base.
Uwe famous in ruining nice games with his films =)
A boomerang is a cool weapon, but movies always forgets about physics.
A boomerang is designed to return to the thrower IF they should miss the target, if you hit the target it will drop momentum and fall, it won't continue it's path and return to sender.
22:54 No. "An" is correct. Usually, you use "an" if the following word begins with a vowel.
I believe the ninjas in the big battle scene are supposed to be the king's bodyguards. I could be wrong, its been years since I watched this movie.
This movie is """"""based""""" on a videogame and it really acts like a modern AAA title: cool graphics, same old gameplay and poorly written story
Martial arts in a fantasy? U are forgetting about Knife Ears in Rings of Power
When you started to talk about “the worst director in the film business” my mind went *if he mentions anyone besides Uwe Boll, he’s wrong. and by god, you came through.
I once watched a behind the scenes featurette of him getting PLASTERED with two film journalists, and this man’s delusions should be studied.
As a kid I liked this movie, then I rewatched it a few years ago... Yea... Some things are better of staying nostalgic memories.
All Statham needed to know was that he wins every fight and was like sign me up.
Like a wise man used to say; "Expect the worst and you won't be dissapointed".... Headrig Eamon in Diablo 3.
I was so excited for this to come out back then as I was playing the shit out of Dungeon SIege. Amazing game, and what a disappointment that movie turned out to be. Didn't get past minute ten. Watched your whole 25 minutes though.
Jonny : "who gave us classics just as..."
me : "Rampage 1 and 2, and Postal is one of my biggest guilty pleasures"
no thats not a joke
I feel this movie was trying to ripoff Lord of the rings without knowing why LOTR was good, or without ever seeing LOTR.
I saw this movie as a kid ,in 2012 I think,I was 7,I saw LOTR a few months prior and I ws like: "WTF"
Shaggy.
A.K.A, the MAN behind the SLAUGHTER _(clap clap)_
Amazon saw this and said hold my Wne
It for sure leaned heavy on Conan the barbarian, mad max, matrix, gladiator, predator. I wonder what movies the guy was fond of
Your reviews have made this channel one of my favorites! I genuinely look forward to watching the next videos you release. A very good job sir!