I read that people with Aspergers have amazing long term memory, but their short term memory is really bad. That may be the reason you remember movies and conversations better, while you easily forget things that should happen in some near time. I found that out when I was wondering the same thing- I never had problems with memorizing, but I always forget appointments and similar things.
OMG, Please enlighten me on how you establish a productive daily routine that actually works? I love creating elaborate charts, productive routines, time efficient schedules and detailed lists to keep me on track. Unfortunately they do not help me. I have no focus, no drive, no motivation and loose my momentum. In a blink of an eye, the day is over and nothing has been accomplished. Time simply evades me... Another day is lost. Im ashamed, embarrassed and bewildered. Is it possible to move forward? Could a schedule really help someone like me deal with my overwhelming fear of loosing more time?
I literally schedule out everything and have my smart watch buzz five minutes before it's time to move to the next task. Everything from waking up, getting ready for the day, exercise, work, meetings, the drive home, feeding the dogs, cooking, eating, even free time... It is ALL on the calendar and all alerts right on my wrist. Without that reminder to move to the next thing, I have a habit of taking too long, being late to everything, and not getting things done. I don't always follow it exactly, but I'm always more productive and less stressed when I do.
Goal setting, are you leaving out the why on your lists? Think about why you want to do this and what you get out of it in the end." I should go for a walk every day" isn't particularly motivating. "I'll feel good if I get a few minutes to myself walking" works a lot better for me. Focus on what matters to you. Dont stress about every little job you *should* do in an ideal world. That's overwhelming. Mind yourself and celebrate doing the necessary.....stress less about the rest.....most jobs can be put off without anything catastrophic happening :)
My aspergers makes me super addicted to time management. Like if the event is months away I'll still plan every single little detail and how I need to change my rituals and behavior around it.I'll get up way earlier then I need to and try to leave early as possible but not arrive too early or too late.
people with aspergers are more visual and less likely to remember things by hearing. i write down on a white board so my boyfriend (who has aspie) remembers to pick me up after work :)!!
You know that explains a lot actually. I didn't know that people with mild autism (Aspergers Syndrome) are more visual. I always thought it was just me. I can't understand things at all pretty much unless I can see it visually.
I have bought several planners and in all cases I keep forgetting that I have them. I always end up using just a couple of first pages, then I forget all about it and I find them several months later somewhere in my drawers, so in each of my planners there are empty months. I am completely hopeless.
Definitely my husband is like this! It was always a source of contention until I have started learning more of his "aspie" side :) I'd love to hear more about asperger's and relationships. My husband has soo many wonderful qualities in a partner and I'd love a video about what you think :)
Can relate. My husband hates going anywhere with me that requires we be there at a specific time. I have OCD upon leaving my house. Have to make sure everything is shut off, unplugged, etc. I will do it over and over. My husband has learned to remind me about time. He will say, "we have 20 minutes, are you keeping track of the time?". This is helpful. He has also learned how to remind me about upcoming events. It's like you travel into another dimension in your head and get lost.
You are definitely NOT alone. I depend on alarms, reminders, calendars and task lists. Got me into trouble growing up a LOT. However I am always earlier than I need to be due to extreme anxiety about being late. I get up at 5am so I have time for all my rituals. Takes me an hour and a half or more to get out of the house. I spend a lot of time sitting in my car before things since I am often an hour to a half hour every for anything.
because of my lack of time management my kids almost lost their dentist. I was told they could not return to the dentist, and the kids were banned. I refused to hang up until the receptionist said they could still go there, that took 45mins.
I was "diagnosed" by one of my doctors over 2 years ago now and 2 days ago I finally have finished being fully officially diagnosed. Now my heads flooded with memories of the past and things that all make sense now. Wish I knew more people in the same situation to talk to about it tho. Its hard talking about it to people who dont truly understand
I just bought a planner, but because I set things down and lose them 😂, I keep my planner in one spot, and routinely go to my planner every couple of hours to make sure that I'm not forgetting anything. I am so grateful for your channel. you have been so helpful. Also, it's really nice to know that others really get it. For so long, I felt like I was doomed to never be understood. Thank you for everything 🙏 I will download some apps now!
I'm kind of old so I used to try to make lists and then I would lose my list. For things like school, I'd make a note card that had all the days of the week and then I would block out the times I'd have to be at some class, plus where the class was. Then, I'd use packing tape on both sides of it to kind of laminate it and then I'd keep it in my pocket until I got all those things in my memory for that term. It took me a long time to get good at actually getting my work done but I eventually ended up with a white board where I made boxes for all the days of the week and put down when stuff was due, plus the stuff I was supposed to have read by a given class day. I found out that I was actually a lot smarter than I thought I was before just because I got that bit organized. I usually just plan to leave extra early for things and that keeps me from being late usually. One time, I had just moved into an apartment all by myself when I was going to school and I had the thought that I'd just do a little studying before my math class but I got so focused on studying for the math class that I forgot to look at the time and studied math all the way through my math class on accident. That was always hard for me in the beginning of any new term before I had gotten in the habit of the times I was supposed to be in class. I never had a smart phone until after college but I did have a computer during the later part of it, although it never dawned on me that I might be able to set alarms on the computer. Now that I do have a smartphone, it is incredibly useful in a number of ways, including that I can set alarms for things and sometimes I actually notice those alarms. In order to make me more likely to remember something I have to do, I will often set an alarm for it the day before I have to do it so that I'm aware that I should pay a little more attention to my phone the next day, plus I like reading books on my phone and playing games, which makes me more likely to see my alarm for something. I also have it so that the alarm goes to my computer but I still miss things and annoy people when I don't see their text right away. I usually just warn people beforehand that this happens to me and tell them not to take it personally.
I do this too! My border collie figured this out and would come and get me when food was done so I didn't have to remember for myself :D he was really helpful.
Yeah, I have a problem with tea. Whenever I make my tea, I boil the water, pour it into a cup, put a tea bag in it and promise myself that this time I need to remember to take it out in 5 (10, 15) minutes (according to what kind of tea it is - each kind of tea needs different time). And I remember like 30 minutes later, or even later. And it does happen to me sometimes that I forget about it completely and when I go to bed and come in the kitchen to drink a cup of water, I find the cup with the tea bag in it - untouched completely. But I do remember details from the past, even from my childhood, lol.
That's really like me... It's so good hear someone, who have the same memory issue. So, I'm not alone. By the way thank you very much for your videos, you are helping me a lot. And in the end greeting from Germany.
Time management is everything for me. I make sure I am at least 30 mins early purposely. I use my calendar and use the reminders religiously. Everything I am to do in the next 6 months is planned. If I do not then it end disastrously. Thank you Dan for the vid. It helps a lot.
So what I have discovered and may be helpful to you is that I have horrible short term memory. When I have something happening or plans need to be made i whip out my phone and put it in my to do list or calender. There is an app that I use constantly called Habbitica. It helps me to stay organized and remember things that need to be done. I can set reminders and such to ensure they are done by a particular day/time. If I don't have my smart phone I would be totally lost.
Thank you for making a video about this. I can really relate to what you're saying. I forget things like homework assignments very easily. I don't want to, but it just happens. I'm always excited for Wednesday evenings. I get to learn something new about myself and/or other people with Aspergers in every video. Again, thank you for making these videos.
Im late most of the time and I feel bad about it. I think its ridiculous to expect perfect attendance other than to say you have perfect attendance. I gave up getting places early. Also I am not a morning person. I do most of my work after business hours.
Actually I had an experience with time management on Tuesday. So, I'm homeschooled so I only go to school one day a week (which is awesome). I go on Tuesdays. I'm in 11th grade currently and on Monday I had to finish a lot of homework. It took me so freaking long to read like 5 chapters of reading this book report book. Anyways, I didn't go to bed until early in the morning and I ended up being late for my first class. My first class is a Computer class, which is my favorite class. So I woke up super late and I basically had a meltdown and was rushing to packing my backpack and all that crap. So, yeah normally Tuesdays are kind of chill days, but this Tuesday was just emotionally crazy. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but this is an extreme example of time management issues. I love having schedules so they help a lot. Thanks for understanding lol:) ~A.Kinz
Being Aspie we can have better long term memory than short because long term memory is based more in right part of brain,part which we more use as Aspie people. We can use less as well prefrontal cortex-connected with storing information for very short period of time,tiny tasks and long term memory can be more complex information and we will visualised them and for some of the reasons we more remember images,visions as a human being anyway not just Aspies ;)
I have not been formally diagnosed, however I have a lot of ASD traits. I have an I-phone, but am not really very tech savvy. I post appointments and changes to my work schedule on my fridge (in large print w/ sharpie marker), so that I see it every time I open the fridge. If I see something in print, I will remember it, however, if someone tells me something, it’s gone straight away. At work, I follow a set routine, doing certain tasks at certain times in a set order, so that I will get my duties accomplished by the end of my shift, without leaving anything undone. People see me as rigid with my routines, however, no one can argue with the results.
I think it’s more to with our prioritizing.we have our limited interests, so things that we’re not interested in we forget and few things that we do, we remember in details. Hope it helps.
I'm just like you... I can remember the strangest things (strange as in not that important to remember) like a conversation (random) I had with a friend 20 years ago, I can - in some cases read a book (or watch a movie) and I know it by heart (more or less) if that book/movie etc. is something that really captivates me... I can see a person for a few seconds, (let's say a salesman at the door) and I have 'scanned him/her' (not on purpose, it just happens, and I've always been like that) noticing what he/she wore, hair color/style, shoes, basically - all the details... then, when it comes to appointments... oh dear...! - I mean, I have turned up on day early, all dressed up and ready for my appointment, only to meet the person I was supposed to meet, telling me that the appointment we have are tomorrow, not today... or I might miss out on an appointment, due to the fact that my head is full, and I have problems with thought overload, and so it goes on, and on. I have gotten better at it, keeping my appointments and such, and I really, really do try with all my heart, to be organized, but man, it is so, so hard.... and it is a constant worry, and struggle. I would love it if you would share some of those apps and tips and tricks and such, in order to get better at the whole concept of time management. Thanks for all the great videos!!
I always make sure to note things in my calendar right away, so i always need my phone near me. If i don't do that I will forget it in 10 minutes lol as for time managing. I used to remember the time of the appointment but was always late cause I would leave at that time. now when i make an appointment i will make it about 15-30 minutes earlier in my calendar to account for my ritual time. then that new time is in there and i will start my leaving routine in time ^^ works mist of the time lol but also 1 unscheduled day in the week is needed for my mental health ;) time makes me anxious
Indeed since I have my IPhone I get more things done and life isn’t so chaotic anymore as all my important apps are saved in my calendar with alarms 15 minutes prior to the event. I discovered that even Bring, yes the shopping app, makes shopping a breeze too. I used to spend hours in a grocery store fretting at everything but with Bring, I’m like in and out in half an hour which is quite amazing.
The more I watch the more I recognise myself in these videos ! I got be early for everything but hate to wait ! Memory or future planning I am shocking !
God Bless you!!! I keep trying to tell my therapist that I that tested high and I wanted an official diagnosis, but no one seems to take me seriously. I asked her about my constantly being late, of course I thought possibly tidsoptimist or adhd/add, but now I’m convinced it’s all 3…4?…3?!well you know what I mean 😂🤪I love watching your videos!
I have a really hard time with time. I think my thing is ADD. But a teacher once told me she used index cards. So if I have to put out the trash on Friday, Thursday I put an index card and write trash on it in marker and put it on a place I look at every day like the kitchen counter. And if I have a dentist or doctor’s appointment, I put an index card in the same place again the day before the appointment. Sometimes I use the colored index cards to take it up a notch! LOL 🤗
I was diagnosed at 42 years old, it's been a year and a half for me (July 2023, will be the 2 year mark). It took me about a year and a half to get tested. I waited a quite a long time. But finally. I talked to my general doctor to see if she would give me a referral to another doctor I was told tested adults, locally. But that doctor's office called and said they weren't taking anyone new and sent me back to the mental health place I originally was told it could take two years because the waiting line was pretty full and was backed up due to understaffing or something. But the referrals seemed to make it get pushed through a little faster. And I'm married, so my wife tends to be really good at reminding me about things when she isn't busy. She works and goes to college online. We are wanting to save up to buy land so we can live off grid. I'd really like to live off grid. Like the first pioneers did here in the US. It would help me focus more, I'm pretty sure of it and help me relax more. If I'm not in the bustle of everyday society, then I wouldn't have to worry with setting alarms to be somewhere. I could just worry with animals, crops, growing trees and things. I could go to sleep as it gets dark and wake when it turns to light, is what I'm thinking. It would help me with getting closer to God as well without the distractions of everyday life. My memory really does suck as well. But I was looking for something along the lines of maybe time perception. Like if I'm an hour away from something knowing I have to be somewhere in a certain time frame, my timing is off. I don't really know how to explain it but it's like it doesn't hit me that I have to leave earlier at times to get to where I need to be on time. I'm thrown off a bit when it comes to timing I guess...
Love your videos! I’d love to hear more about what it’s like to deal with time management in a relationship (NT w/ AS) - for example, planning ahead to spend time together, vacation time planning, etc. I am a NT with an AS boyfriend and he finds it difficult to plan ahead even though I know he truly wants to do so. I’d like to know how best to help him with this. Thank you!
Yeah I definitely have this issue. I'm also young but old fashioned, so I use a paper/wall calendar and won't put my appointments also in my phone (I'm . . . working on getting over it.) And I so have ritual things that if I don't do them I'm upset internally for the rest of the day. Sadly I don't have the greatest memory in general; because of trials I went through during childhood I have sequentially block out A LOT of my memories, good and bad, and tend to have a harder time retaining simple memories (unless it's about something I read or watched.)
A thousand thumbs up! My family’s nickname for me as a kid was “Iforgot” I used to think 🤔 how is it I’m always forgetting stuff but I remember EVERYTHING?!?!?!? Who knows what I’m saying? 😂😂
Man if I didn't have my iPad alarm I would probably be in a constant state of inward screaming - not just for waking up, but for getting ready for work, putting on makeup, leaving aside 15 minute slots for everything (though at a push I can get ready in 5). Parents never seemed to understand how important those alarms are for me, but there u go
I write everything down in my notepad and my notepad goes everywhere with me. This is especially important for work! If I lose this, then I am completely lost as to what I am doing and when things need to be completed by. I find by putting everything in my calendar I can stay on top of things better. I set deadlines, appointments and even tasks I need to focus on in my calendar as a way of managing myself and my time. For appointments, I prepare by checking where I am going, what forms of transport I need and what times are associated with them. On top of this I add a level of contingency by still aiming to get there early. It all sounds a bit over the top, but as a result I am now known as being very punctual. :)
I don't have a smart phone.I keep information on a big desk calendar that I hang on the wall. With special events, I color in those days lightly with a colored pencil. I can even set up a system of what various colors mean(on a stress scale). Important things or even record temperatures or rainfall..things like that also..because someone will say "Remember when we had that massive rain?" and I can look to refresh the distance away that it occurred. I guess I am visual in learning and explaining and keeping track. Say Woof to Randy for me.
Same here, I'm always around 10mins late due to the fact that I don't take into account that I prepare what I need to take, where I'am going etc. I think I am getting better as I now start to get ready to leave 10-15mins earlier to prepare :-)
LOL, dude. I have a very vivid long-term memory, first memory I have is from when I was 6 mos old. I have eidetic memory too for the most part, triggered by aspie deja vu as I call it --- certain smells, songs, movies, cartoons, books etc take me to a clear overly-detailed memory. However, if someone asks me what I did last week or what I did for my birthday (yesterday) I either have no clue or am very vague and short in response. I have no concept of time what so ever and its a curse, ha. I always tell people that I'm a real-life version of the film 'Memento' 😅 My mom has a dry erase calendar on our fridge, which helps... if I write things down (appts, my son's school events, etc) immediately. Most times I forget, so what I did was ask my doctors and my son's teacher to email me reminders a week before, and the day before an appt or event. I also make lists like a mad scientist, right as I'm thinking of what I need/want to do or things to ask my doctors etc before appts. Writing things down in list form is a life saver, so I carry a mini notebook and pen in my pocket or purse. I do use my calendar & clock apps on my phone, but things tend to stick more when I physically write things down on paper. Again, great vid and info, I have been watching one after the other & sending them to my boyfriend to watch bc you explain everything I do/think/feel way better than I can! If youtube needs a late-life diagnosed female to vlog, throw youtube my name hah. its something I've wanted to do for years now. Raising awareness & helping others both females and males with ASD & comorbid mental/physical conditions thru my own experiences... and my endless lists of tips, tricks, resources, and sense of humor is what I'll be doing for the rest of my life outta compassion, empathy, and interest. ANYWAYYYSSS thank you, inspring for those like me who are pretty close to being "low functioning." Bless.
I use my calendar app and the Evernote app with a little widget that I can pull down from the top of my phone for making quick notes but I can also but reminders on it too :) but I'm exactly the same with remembering future things, if my mum wants something done around the house the next day I ask her to write it down on a post-it note and put it somewhere I can see it. I'm 21 now but they're useful tools nonetheless. Thanks again for your wonderful videos!
Great video. My calendar is my Bible! Also, the TH-cam "planning" community is pretty trendy right now with fun videos on organization, making your planner, etc. I try to make mine fun - get a nice leather book, use highlighters, and set aside 30 minutes to update and sync all my appointments while I do something fun like watch TH-cam... or eat chocolate... or something!
If I have to get somewhere I have to plan timings in minute detail and repeat it over and over in my mind, otherwise chances are that time will just run away with me…having a wall calendar also helps. I was only diagnosed in my mid 50s.
I use an app called focus to do, I've used loads over the years and this one suits me best. I love that I can bump jobs to tomorrow or next week easily and guilt free. Tasks can be repeating or once off and I have my life set up in projects. Kids, home, work, voluntary, fun, self care, friends (yes, I schedule reminders to see humans that I like!) etc. It works on a 25 minute focus with breaks in between. I take longer breaks but find it motivating to focus for 25 minutes and push a job through to the end. Sometimes I just need that push to get started and when I see the progress in 25 minutes I don't want to stop. At the same time I know I'm actually done for the day on that task and can stop and move some other projec forwards. I often make the mistake of either getting overwhelmed and stopping or getting sucked in and doing too much so I'm exhausted and have let other things slide. I coukd also start 15 different jobs and they end up muddled and nothing finished. This app is helping me to focus and prioritise and give myself a break! I use Google calendar for appointments and any dates coming up etc. A whiteboard in my kitchen is good to keep family in touch with it all. Sometimes it's really helpful to see the silly things getting ticked off my lists. I fed people, I got dressed, I fed pets, I did laundry and made a phone call. I'm on a winner today so I've bumped some things I can leave until tomorrow.
Then there is this that I often get distracted and forget what I was doing even if I set an alarm to remind me. I typically walk back and forth in my appartment without getting anything done at all.
I have a list app called Wunderlist for that, it lets you to make list an put sublist, alarms, notes and photos, and share it with my coworkers for example so that helps a lot, for the rituals I always do, I time that with chronometer and then some extra time to put an alarm so I can always get my schedule done. The reason why I think we can't memorize names, appointment, etc. It's because we consider it a trivial thing (at least in mi case) because as an asperger when need to defrag all the information so it's easier to understand, for example if I meet a person first I need to figure it out how to act properly around her/him (like how much I can talk before being anoying, how they like to be saluted, if I can joke with them and what can of jokes are appropriated, etc) so I need to discriminate useless information not to mention if that happens in a certain location that has a lot of sensory stimulation by default I trie to ignore the most so I can act properly even though forgetting a name or an appointment or an item you need to get would cause a trouble after, at least in that moment you are fine. Sorry if my explanation is to messy I'm Mexican and although I know English well I have trouble organizing the words to make a proper explanation in your language.
I've become obsessed with my filofax in an attempt to organise myself...I've spent way to much money buying stickers and inserts and the perfect planner but 90% of the time I forget to write appointments in it or I do but then forget to look in it.
how to Start a TH-cam channel with Aspergers? [also ADHD and OCD] (because I have thoughs both on top of aspergers) I started one before but I got really stressed about it and I Quit
If it stresses you out then you need to figure out a routine that could help you get through it, also pick a interesting subject record it, don't worry about posting it yet, don't worry if you need twelve takes cause that is what editing is for
Thank you... Yes my memory works about 90% the Same as yours... I really appreciate all your vids I'm going through...and realizing I Life with this as well... Big problems all through life... I had a suspicion...✌😌
I am pretty organised and I like to planed things very well.Being very busy needs that as well.Mostly I write lists and first I put like priorities or highlight them with red colour and then using different colours.Set alarms with reminders as well on I-phone.Sometimes unless I'm very tired when I'm on bed and going to sleep I kind analysed a bit my day and think what tomorrow I need to do as well,a bit my ritual is that ha,ha.You could make video on apps which you specifically use,that will be usefull and interesting:) Thank You
When it is possible I have people text me right before to remind me. Or else it can be really embarrassing to forget. That and my phone calendar and alarms. And asking when is it. All these are my tools. But for school I'm on time I know just how slow I am so I calculate it in my schedule and I aim to be early so the worst that can happen it I am on time instead of being late.
@TheAspieWorld I can so relate to this and you also having ADHD must be a real challenge.. I use the phone notice boards lists but I severely lose focus I have the attention span of a preschool child I have to make sure I write in detail what the reminder is for or it fails.. and a strict routine helps I've got loads of apps to try help myself but gave myself too many and I've overwhelmed myself... It doesn't help I'm really light and sound sensitive.. tbh I believe knowing my own professional background I believe I am in the ASD umbrella butm never had a formal diagnosis... However, when I did refresher training my tutor said she saw behaviours she recognised... But it's cool I'm nearly fifty well next year and my circumstances has changed dramatically.... I have a obsession with learning new things and science has always been my thing... Btw I have a degree too University of Greenwich had to really alter my diet that's helped with my hyperactivity 😁 sorry for another long one I'll never make one of your 30 comments LOL 😁 you have a new fan 👍😎😉
Thanks for sharing these insights you have a great way of expressing yourself that helps retired professionals like me, I also retain things in picture form and that's so helpful as I'm sure we're not the only ones I've never really watched it as a series but the best way to describe me is the series Ally McBeal not sure what it was about but she had scenarios which you see in pictures whether it's a film or bugs bunny and Daffy duck doing something funny it'll pop into my head 😉 I've got many a funny look for laughing out loud haha 😁 but it's cool I never mind I enjoyed what I was thinking lol 💚👍
Lol, I just realized I'm running 15 min late... I have alarms, but too many so I ignored them. Oops. Gotta run. I have adhd, and my boyfriend has asbies, so this is sooo helpful. Thanks 😊
I’m currently being reviewed for ASD (adult Asperger’s) at the age of 45….So. I have always been a “bit” “rubbish” with time keeping and over the years I’ve subconsciously developed my own methods but I forget phone numbers and names almost instantly and even though I have a diary I still forget… I once left a pair of colleagues standing outside of the theatre venue I worked at pre COVID for 2 hours as I had forgotten that I was opening up for maintenance .. I’m also great at organising myself to go to the airport, station, cinema and theatre and still cut it fine even though I was ready to go an hour early or even arrive early and still be late.. Yet I can “programme” myself to wake up before my alarms go off to get up but that’s mostly due to anxiety about sleeping through my alarms which I do anyway…. I wish I had know I was on the spectrum sooner as it would have helped my poor suffering family, ex partners and work colleagues…
My wife is a great helper keeping me reminded of things so I don't have to keep them in the front of my brain. Managing time wasn't so bad but Every time my phone got replaced the routine of tracking things. With it was broken. New phones really hurt to set up and get familiar with. I passed up free windows 10 because I didn't want to learn it. 7 was tough enough before that xp was easy and preferred. The world is just changing faster than I can adapt to it. My 3rd child will be 18 this year. The time went by faster than I did. It was finally 70°f here. So no more waiting for spring to arrive. I'm looking forward to making lawnmower silage for my goats in a week or 2. Grass will be growing quick. Any tips on improving patience when the clock seems to stop?
My concept of time is naff, i get dates n times mixed up even if i was told or read it in a letter merely seconds before, i have to check, recheck n recheck again to make sure i have marked it right in a calander. Even then i can forget to change the calander month and/or even forget to check the calander completely, so setting reminders on my phone can help butt it can also trigger anxieties when the alarm goes off n i forgot about it. My mam or children have reminded me too, i know they are frustrated by the fact that i forget so much yet i can remember alot of other things, like recalling life events, etc. I have bean so frustrated by it also as i never could understand why i was this way. Am 43 n not diagnosed with autism, though some professionals in the past did ask me (when i was in hospitals) if i was ever diagnosed, no testing was ever done. 😪 Thank you for your vids, they are helping me understand myself so very much.
I can relate to having those same issues and also use a calendar app on my phone with alarms. lol I have routines that I stick to every day... and have to work around the routine... if I don't do what I planned at the right time, I might end up doing the routine longer which causes lateness or cancellation in other things... it can be overwhelming... and I guess this relates to executive functioning... I'm doing the best I could and shifting my routine to more valuable things that brings more success...
I NEEEEEED to see that video!!! 5:33 I do the same thing. I'm so horrible with remembering future plans and dates. I have a great memory for things that I experience or have experienced in real time. Future plans; no, Bad. LOL I think it has to do with that for the memorization. With me anyway. Real time events where all of my senses and emotions were a part of the memory versus minimal to almost no senses or emotions involved for future planning. We'll call it F.P.M.S. Future Planning Meh Syndrome. LOL
That describes my 13 year old son very well. Has been debilitating through out school so far 😓 He does have a good memory for things of his interest though.
My son and I both have aspergers. We're from illinois, usa. We'd love to see the apps you use for time management. Thanks. We watch your videos everyday for homeschool. My son Nathan in 10th grade :)
When baking I take a timer with me when I leave the kitchen and often am surprised when it rings. If stovetop cooking I cannot leave the room. With the children at home I kept a wall clock in every room and determined a time for every activity. I was very clock dependent. Now I’m retired and the adult daughter works irregular shifts. Now I’m a mess and don’t know when to do meals or sleep.
Ah yes, it’s interesting how we are dependent of things to create a structure of time. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I often think that I might have ASD. I seem to have to a lot of the symptoms. For example I often don't understand social cues; I am extremely blunt and honest; I have a few weird tics; I can talk for a ridiculous amount of time about things I'm interested in and not even care if someone is listening or not; certain frequencies of sound give me nausea; certain levels of light give me headaches; when I was a little kid I loved to run in small circles or jump up and down flapping my hands (I don't do this anymore); sometimes I feel like inanimate objects have gender, feelings, and personality; and large changes in my life make me so anxious I can barley function. (For example: changing schools, graduating, moving, having to find a new job.) However then at the same time I completely contradict other symptoms. For example: I always make eye contact. I think this might be because in elementary school I was taught that it was rude not to make eye contact. So I learned to overcompensate by staring uncomfortably into people's eyes when they're talking. I've noticed that I even do this when watching movies or TV. The more I research it, the more I think I am on the spectrum... The only problem is I'm really anxious and nervous to actually find out. I don't want my friends and loved ones to think of me differently; I don't want coworkers to think I'm broken, stupid, or otherwise incapable; and I especially don't want my parents to feel guilty for never noticing that I have ASD.
When I know I have an event way ahead of time I plan it till the minute and I’m early. But I always forget to write down the time I have a physical therapy appointment. The only thing that helps me with that is the fact that I always have it on the same day every week
do you mind to share your story when you were in school or college? I want to know in case I have the same problem with you or not. Do you find it difficult to understand what the teacher is assigning to when you were in school? did you sometimes feel you were confused when your mates throws sarcasms or jokes to you and someone said to you that you were too innocent bcs u even don't understand they were throw sarcasm?is it trait of asperger?
Thank you for this video 👍👽. I have no concept of time at all and it's extremely difficult especially when I'm out in public trying to understand bus/train timetables or read clocks it seems time goes too fast or too slow never inbetween for me to get on with chores as I wonder where the time goes
I’m late for everything I do. I get a lot of anxiety just worrying to be late, and my anxiety promos my obsessive routines and I make more mistakes when I’m anxious. Both of these things cause me to take more time. Then, I’m late, frazzled, and upset. One of my obsessive coping behaviors is body focused repetitive grooming (BFRB) which is sometimes dermotillomania.. making it even harder to leave my apartment. Ugh.
For me, I have to write out my weekly and daily plan the night before or I’m just going to float. Then check it in the morning with my phone alarm and check my whiteboard by my bed.
One of my obsessions is time and if I'm late for anything because of traffic, delayed by small talking mum's!!! Etc then I get super stressed and it totally ruins my day I wish I didn't care if I was late lol
Thank you for this video! 👍👽I have no concept of time so it makes planning simple things more stressful as I write symbols instead of numbers or have a specific song/tune/colour I associate with my time & time management,because that makes more sense to me when I try that yet numbers calenders bus/train/plane timetables and guessing how long 10 mins isn't instinctual to me it's like another language I find hard to decode because it's not natural (that's how it is for me) but I don't like asking for help from strangers if I'm lost etc...for fear of ridicule so it's a vicious cycle but it will take the entire week just to plan for one day/event when it seems so natural for anybody else so I find it exhausting.
Same for the memory part - I can remember tons of facts and lines from movies, tv shows, books, and other areas of interest but if someone says their name or to remember some detail, such as a birthday or an event or what to get at the store that information becomes like noise in my head and tends to vanish. but at the same time I can remember whole conversations depending on the context
I have always struggled with time keeping despite the fact I always try to be on time. My daughter who is also on the spectrum is running into issues at school for the same reason.
I also have a lot of trouble with OCD rituals, when preparing for school/work in the morning I CAN'T STOP flossing in the mirror. Sometimes I'll have to give up doing my hair or my makeup because I lose time because of that.
I am the exact same way with making future plans. For some reason, they just leave my head. I use two calendars, alarms and reminder apps... and I still forget to use them.
I read that people with Aspergers have amazing long term memory, but their short term memory is really bad. That may be the reason you remember movies and conversations better, while you easily forget things that should happen in some near time. I found that out when I was wondering the same thing- I never had problems with memorizing, but I always forget appointments and similar things.
That's definitely true of me! It's so bad but I'm learning to be more present-minded and to cope with that aspect of my asperger's/ADHD.
omg yes i agree. The same thing happens to me, so i always use a planner.
Sound exactly like me.
This though!
Yes
OMG, Please enlighten me on how you establish a productive daily routine that actually works?
I love creating elaborate charts, productive routines, time efficient schedules and detailed lists to keep me on track.
Unfortunately they do not help me. I have no focus, no drive, no motivation and loose my momentum.
In a blink of an eye, the day is over and nothing has been accomplished.
Time simply evades me... Another day is lost.
Im ashamed, embarrassed and bewildered.
Is it possible to move forward? Could a schedule really help someone like me deal with my overwhelming fear of loosing more time?
Lists!
I literally schedule out everything and have my smart watch buzz five minutes before it's time to move to the next task. Everything from waking up, getting ready for the day, exercise, work, meetings, the drive home, feeding the dogs, cooking, eating, even free time... It is ALL on the calendar and all alerts right on my wrist. Without that reminder to move to the next thing, I have a habit of taking too long, being late to everything, and not getting things done. I don't always follow it exactly, but I'm always more productive and less stressed when I do.
Goal setting, are you leaving out the why on your lists?
Think about why you want to do this and what you get out of it in the end." I should go for a walk every day" isn't particularly motivating. "I'll feel good if I get a few minutes to myself walking" works a lot better for me.
Focus on what matters to you. Dont stress about every little job you *should* do in an ideal world. That's overwhelming. Mind yourself and celebrate doing the necessary.....stress less about the rest.....most jobs can be put off without anything catastrophic happening :)
My aspergers makes me super addicted to time management. Like if the event is months away I'll still plan every single little detail and how I need to change my rituals and behavior around it.I'll get up way earlier then I need to and try to leave early as possible but not arrive too early or too late.
people with aspergers are more visual and less likely to remember things by hearing.
i write down on a white board so my boyfriend (who has aspie) remembers to pick me up after work :)!!
You know that explains a lot actually. I didn't know that people with mild autism (Aspergers Syndrome) are more visual. I always thought it was just me. I can't understand things at all pretty much unless I can see it visually.
I use a planer but even forget to use that form time to time
I have bought several planners and in all cases I keep forgetting that I have them. I always end up using just a couple of first pages, then I forget all about it and I find them several months later somewhere in my drawers, so in each of my planners there are empty months. I am completely hopeless.
"I've got a really good memory in one respect, and I've got a terrible memory in another respect." -- That's the best way I've heard it put.
The struggle is real, I feel something like Dori from Nemo 🙄😑🤦
Definitely my husband is like this! It was always a source of contention until I have started learning more of his "aspie" side :) I'd love to hear more about asperger's and relationships. My husband has soo many wonderful qualities in a partner and I'd love a video about what you think :)
Can relate. My husband hates going anywhere with me that requires we be there at a specific time. I have OCD upon leaving my house. Have to make sure everything is shut off, unplugged, etc. I will do it over and over. My husband has learned to remind me about time. He will say, "we have 20 minutes, are you keeping track of the time?". This is helpful. He has also learned how to remind me about upcoming events. It's like you travel into another dimension in your head and get lost.
You are definitely NOT alone. I depend on alarms, reminders, calendars and task lists. Got me into trouble growing up a LOT. However I am always earlier than I need to be due to extreme anxiety about being late. I get up at 5am so I have time for all my rituals. Takes me an hour and a half or more to get out of the house. I spend a lot of time sitting in my car before things since I am often an hour to a half hour every for anything.
because of my lack of time management my kids almost lost their dentist. I was told they could not return to the dentist, and the kids were banned. I refused to hang up until the receptionist said they could still go there, that took 45mins.
Hey thanks for the comment.
I was "diagnosed" by one of my doctors over 2 years ago now and 2 days ago I finally have finished being fully officially diagnosed. Now my heads flooded with memories of the past and things that all make sense now.
Wish I knew more people in the same situation to talk to about it tho. Its hard talking about it to people who dont truly understand
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I just bought a planner, but because I set things down and lose them 😂, I keep my planner in one spot, and routinely go to my planner every couple of hours to make sure that I'm not forgetting anything.
I am so grateful for your channel. you have been so helpful. Also, it's really nice to know that others really get it. For so long, I felt like I was doomed to never be understood. Thank you for everything 🙏
I will download some apps now!
I'm kind of old so I used to try to make lists and then I would lose my list. For things like school, I'd make a note card that had all the days of the week and then I would block out the times I'd have to be at some class, plus where the class was. Then, I'd use packing tape on both sides of it to kind of laminate it and then I'd keep it in my pocket until I got all those things in my memory for that term. It took me a long time to get good at actually getting my work done but I eventually ended up with a white board where I made boxes for all the days of the week and put down when stuff was due, plus the stuff I was supposed to have read by a given class day. I found out that I was actually a lot smarter than I thought I was before just because I got that bit organized.
I usually just plan to leave extra early for things and that keeps me from being late usually. One time, I had just moved into an apartment all by myself when I was going to school and I had the thought that I'd just do a little studying before my math class but I got so focused on studying for the math class that I forgot to look at the time and studied math all the way through my math class on accident. That was always hard for me in the beginning of any new term before I had gotten in the habit of the times I was supposed to be in class. I never had a smart phone until after college but I did have a computer during the later part of it, although it never dawned on me that I might be able to set alarms on the computer.
Now that I do have a smartphone, it is incredibly useful in a number of ways, including that I can set alarms for things and sometimes I actually notice those alarms. In order to make me more likely to remember something I have to do, I will often set an alarm for it the day before I have to do it so that I'm aware that I should pay a little more attention to my phone the next day, plus I like reading books on my phone and playing games, which makes me more likely to see my alarm for something. I also have it so that the alarm goes to my computer but I still miss things and annoy people when I don't see their text right away. I usually just warn people beforehand that this happens to me and tell them not to take it personally.
I can't remember when food is cooking I always burn everything
Haha yeah!
I do this too! My border collie figured this out and would come and get me when food was done so I didn't have to remember for myself :D he was really helpful.
I've found the Any.do app helps a lot & even reminds me to callback if i miss a call (android, not sure if there's an iOS version).
Pam Tufnell you just remind me , i was boiling tap water n was suppose to store it away. Whoops that was 10 hours ago. :/
Yeah, I have a problem with tea. Whenever I make my tea, I boil the water, pour it into a cup, put a tea bag in it and promise myself that this time I need to remember to take it out in 5 (10, 15) minutes (according to what kind of tea it is - each kind of tea needs different time). And I remember like 30 minutes later, or even later. And it does happen to me sometimes that I forget about it completely and when I go to bed and come in the kitchen to drink a cup of water, I find the cup with the tea bag in it - untouched completely. But I do remember details from the past, even from my childhood, lol.
That's really like me... It's so good hear someone, who have the same memory issue. So, I'm not alone.
By the way thank you very much for your videos, you are helping me a lot.
And in the end greeting from Germany.
Hey no problem thank you for the comment!
I follow TAW and thought you and Dan were hilarious when describing the connection traits of being an aspie and adhd. Great job guys!
I want to see the apps! 😊
Time management is everything for me. I make sure I am at least 30 mins early purposely. I use my calendar and use the reminders religiously. Everything I am to do in the next 6 months is planned. If I do not then it end disastrously. Thank you Dan for the vid. It helps a lot.
Hey no problem thank you for the comment.
I watch this for my nine-year-old son, and me :-) but he is a gamer and loves your stuff! Keep it coming do you need good tips
Yay!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
So what I have discovered and may be helpful to you is that I have horrible short term memory. When I have something happening or plans need to be made i whip out my phone and put it in my to do list or calender. There is an app that I use constantly called Habbitica. It helps me to stay organized and remember things that need to be done. I can set reminders and such to ensure they are done by a particular day/time. If I don't have my smart phone I would be totally lost.
Thank you for making a video about this. I can really relate to what you're saying. I forget things like homework assignments very easily. I don't want to, but it just happens.
I'm always excited for Wednesday evenings. I get to learn something new about myself and/or other people with Aspergers in every video. Again, thank you for making these videos.
Im late most of the time and I feel bad about it. I think its ridiculous to expect perfect attendance other than to say you have perfect attendance. I gave up getting places early. Also I am not a morning person. I do most of my work after business hours.
Actually I had an experience with time management on Tuesday. So, I'm homeschooled so I only go to school one day a week (which is awesome). I go on Tuesdays. I'm in 11th grade currently and on Monday I had to finish a lot of homework. It took me so freaking long to read like 5 chapters of reading this book report book. Anyways, I didn't go to bed until early in the morning and I ended up being late for my first class. My first class is a Computer class, which is my favorite class. So I woke up super late and I basically had a meltdown and was rushing to packing my backpack and all that crap. So, yeah normally Tuesdays are kind of chill days, but this Tuesday was just emotionally crazy. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but this is an extreme example of time management issues. I love having schedules so they help a lot. Thanks for understanding lol:) ~A.Kinz
Being Aspie we can have better long term memory than short because long term memory is based more in right part of brain,part which we more use as Aspie people. We can use less as well prefrontal cortex-connected with storing information for very short period of time,tiny tasks and long term memory can be more complex information and we will visualised them and for some of the reasons we more remember images,visions as a human being anyway not just Aspies ;)
Your hair looks awesome in this video!
I have not been formally diagnosed, however I have a lot of ASD traits. I have an I-phone, but am not really very tech savvy. I post appointments and changes to my work schedule on my fridge (in large print w/ sharpie marker), so that I see it every time I open the fridge. If I see something in print, I will remember it, however, if someone tells me something, it’s gone straight away. At work, I follow a set routine, doing certain tasks at certain times in a set order, so that I will get my duties accomplished by the end of my shift, without leaving anything undone. People see me as rigid with my routines, however, no one can argue with the results.
I think it’s more to with our prioritizing.we have our limited interests, so things that we’re not interested in we forget and few things that we do, we remember in details. Hope it helps.
Yes excellent input!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I'm just like you... I can remember the strangest things (strange as in not that important to remember) like a conversation (random) I had with a friend 20 years ago, I can - in some cases read a book (or watch a movie) and I know it by heart (more or less) if that book/movie etc. is something that really captivates me... I can see a person for a few seconds, (let's say a salesman at the door) and I have 'scanned him/her' (not on purpose, it just happens, and I've always been like that) noticing what he/she wore, hair color/style, shoes, basically - all the details... then, when it comes to appointments... oh dear...!
- I mean, I have turned up on day early, all dressed up and ready for my appointment, only to meet the person I was supposed to meet, telling me that the appointment we have are tomorrow, not today... or I might miss out on an appointment, due to the fact that my head is full, and I have problems with thought overload, and so it goes on, and on.
I have gotten better at it, keeping my appointments and such, and I really, really do try with all my heart, to be organized, but man, it is so, so hard.... and it is a constant worry, and struggle.
I would love it if you would share some of those apps and tips and tricks and such, in order to get better at the whole concept of time management. Thanks for all the great videos!!
I always make sure to note things in my calendar right away, so i always need my phone near me. If i don't do that I will forget it in 10 minutes lol as for time managing. I used to remember the time of the appointment but was always late cause I would leave at that time. now when i make an appointment i will make it about 15-30 minutes earlier in my calendar to account for my ritual time. then that new time is in there and i will start my leaving routine in time ^^ works mist of the time lol but also 1 unscheduled day in the week is needed for my mental health ;) time makes me anxious
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Indeed since I have my IPhone I get more things done and life isn’t so chaotic anymore as all my important apps are saved in my calendar with alarms 15 minutes prior to the event. I discovered that even Bring, yes the shopping app, makes shopping a breeze too. I used to spend hours in a grocery store fretting at everything but with Bring, I’m like in and out in half an hour which is quite amazing.
App are like tiny little life savers. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
The more I watch the more I recognise myself in these videos ! I got be early for everything but hate to wait ! Memory or future planning I am shocking !
time goes too fast coz I'm concentrating on other stuff
Yeah
God Bless you!!! I keep trying to tell my therapist that I that tested high and I wanted an official diagnosis, but no one seems to take me seriously. I asked her about my constantly being late, of course I thought possibly tidsoptimist or adhd/add, but now I’m convinced it’s all 3…4?…3?!well you know what I mean 😂🤪I love watching your videos!
I have a really hard time with time. I think my thing is ADD. But a teacher once told me she used index cards. So if I have to put out the trash on Friday, Thursday I put an index card and write trash on it in marker and put it on a place I look at every day like the kitchen counter. And if I have a dentist or doctor’s appointment, I put an index card in the same place again the day before the appointment. Sometimes I use the colored index cards to take it up a notch! LOL 🤗
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I was diagnosed at 42 years old, it's been a year and a half for me (July 2023, will be the 2 year mark). It took me about a year and a half to get tested. I waited a quite a long time. But finally. I talked to my general doctor to see if she would give me a referral to another doctor I was told tested adults, locally. But that doctor's office called and said they weren't taking anyone new and sent me back to the mental health place I originally was told it could take two years because the waiting line was pretty full and was backed up due to understaffing or something. But the referrals seemed to make it get pushed through a little faster. And I'm married, so my wife tends to be really good at reminding me about things when she isn't busy. She works and goes to college online. We are wanting to save up to buy land so we can live off grid. I'd really like to live off grid. Like the first pioneers did here in the US. It would help me focus more, I'm pretty sure of it and help me relax more. If I'm not in the bustle of everyday society, then I wouldn't have to worry with setting alarms to be somewhere. I could just worry with animals, crops, growing trees and things. I could go to sleep as it gets dark and wake when it turns to light, is what I'm thinking. It would help me with getting closer to God as well without the distractions of everyday life. My memory really does suck as well. But I was looking for something along the lines of maybe time perception. Like if I'm an hour away from something knowing I have to be somewhere in a certain time frame, my timing is off. I don't really know how to explain it but it's like it doesn't hit me that I have to leave earlier at times to get to where I need to be on time. I'm thrown off a bit when it comes to timing I guess...
I recently bought myself a Google Home Assistant and it's awesome making reminders and it will notify you.
Yes, I have the Alexa and it’s amazing.
I will ALWAYS forget to do stuff if i don't write it down. I also have dozens of alarms set for different things in my phone.
You are not alone. 👍🏾🙏🏾🌂💜
Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
That shout out though 👌😘 Christmas collab?
+BeardMeatsFood I THINK SO!
+BeardMeatsFood Hit me up on twitter broseph
Love your videos! I’d love to hear more about what it’s like to deal with time management in a relationship (NT w/ AS) - for example, planning ahead to spend time together, vacation time planning, etc. I am a NT with an AS boyfriend and he finds it difficult to plan ahead even though I know he truly wants to do so. I’d like to know how best to help him with this. Thank you!
Thank you for the kind words and the comment.
I use my calendar on my computer, phone, tablet and watch and they sync between each other. It helps me with events...
Yeah I definitely have this issue. I'm also young but old fashioned, so I use a paper/wall calendar and won't put my appointments also in my phone (I'm . . . working on getting over it.) And I so have ritual things that if I don't do them I'm upset internally for the rest of the day.
Sadly I don't have the greatest memory in general; because of trials I went through during childhood I have sequentially block out A LOT of my memories, good and bad, and tend to have a harder time retaining simple memories (unless it's about something I read or watched.)
A thousand thumbs up! My family’s nickname for me as a kid was “Iforgot”
I used to think 🤔 how is it I’m always forgetting stuff but I remember EVERYTHING?!?!?!? Who knows what I’m saying? 😂😂
If I don’t write things down that are happening in the future I’ll forget them and feel horrible. The exception is routine tasks for other folks.
Oh yeah I feel that issue! I have sooo many reminder lists.
Man if I didn't have my iPad alarm I would probably be in a constant state of inward screaming - not just for waking up, but for getting ready for work, putting on makeup, leaving aside 15 minute slots for everything (though at a push I can get ready in 5). Parents never seemed to understand how important those alarms are for me, but there u go
Thank you for your videos. I have a son that struggles accepting that he has aspergers. Watching your videos helps me to help him.
Hey that is awesome thank you for the kind words.
I write everything down in my notepad and my notepad goes everywhere with me. This is especially important for work! If I lose this, then I am completely lost as to what I am doing and when things need to be completed by. I find by putting everything in my calendar I can stay on top of things better. I set deadlines, appointments and even tasks I need to focus on in my calendar as a way of managing myself and my time. For appointments, I prepare by checking where I am going, what forms of transport I need and what times are associated with them. On top of this I add a level of contingency by still aiming to get there early. It all sounds a bit over the top, but as a result I am now known as being very punctual. :)
Yes please do a video on apps to help with time management,my son could use your suggestions
I don't have a smart phone.I keep information on a big desk calendar that I hang on the wall. With special events, I color in those days lightly with a colored pencil. I can even set up a system of what various colors mean(on a stress scale). Important things or even record temperatures or rainfall..things like that also..because someone will say "Remember when we had that massive rain?" and I can look to refresh the distance away that it occurred. I guess I am visual in learning and explaining and keeping track. Say Woof to Randy for me.
yes I forget all the time
Same here, I'm always around 10mins late due to the fact that I don't take into account that I prepare what I need to take, where I'am going etc. I think I am getting better as I now start to get ready to leave 10-15mins earlier to prepare :-)
I've got an amazing creative memory but it's useless with getting logical things done.
LOL, dude. I have a very vivid long-term memory, first memory I have is from when I was 6 mos old. I have eidetic memory too for the most part, triggered by aspie deja vu as I call it --- certain smells, songs, movies, cartoons, books etc take me to a clear overly-detailed memory. However, if someone asks me what I did last week or what I did for my birthday (yesterday) I either have no clue or am very vague and short in response. I have no concept of time what so ever and its a curse, ha. I always tell people that I'm a real-life version of the film 'Memento' 😅
My mom has a dry erase calendar on our fridge, which helps... if I write things down (appts, my son's school events, etc) immediately. Most times I forget, so what I did was ask my doctors and my son's teacher to email me reminders a week before, and the day before an appt or event.
I also make lists like a mad scientist, right as I'm thinking of what I need/want to do or things to ask my doctors etc before appts. Writing things down in list form is a life saver, so I carry a mini notebook and pen in my pocket or purse. I do use my calendar & clock apps on my phone, but things tend to stick more when I physically write things down on paper.
Again, great vid and info, I have been watching one after the other & sending them to my boyfriend to watch bc you explain everything I do/think/feel way better than I can!
If youtube needs a late-life diagnosed female to vlog, throw youtube my name hah. its something I've wanted to do for years now. Raising awareness & helping others both females and males with ASD & comorbid mental/physical conditions thru my own experiences... and my endless lists of tips, tricks, resources, and sense of humor is what I'll be doing for the rest of my life outta compassion, empathy, and interest.
ANYWAYYYSSS thank you, inspring for those like me who are pretty close to being "low functioning." Bless.
I use my calendar app and the Evernote app with a little widget that I can pull down from the top of my phone for making quick notes but I can also but reminders on it too :) but I'm exactly the same with remembering future things, if my mum wants something done around the house the next day I ask her to write it down on a post-it note and put it somewhere I can see it. I'm 21 now but they're useful tools nonetheless. Thanks again for your wonderful videos!
Great video. My calendar is my Bible! Also, the TH-cam "planning" community is pretty trendy right now with fun videos on organization, making your planner, etc. I try to make mine fun - get a nice leather book, use highlighters, and set aside 30 minutes to update and sync all my appointments while I do something fun like watch TH-cam... or eat chocolate... or something!
If I have to get somewhere I have to plan timings in minute detail and repeat it over and over in my mind, otherwise chances are that time will just run away with me…having a wall calendar also helps. I was only diagnosed in my mid 50s.
I use an app called focus to do, I've used loads over the years and this one suits me best. I love that I can bump jobs to tomorrow or next week easily and guilt free. Tasks can be repeating or once off and I have my life set up in projects. Kids, home, work, voluntary, fun, self care, friends (yes, I schedule reminders to see humans that I like!) etc. It works on a 25 minute focus with breaks in between. I take longer breaks but find it motivating to focus for 25 minutes and push a job through to the end. Sometimes I just need that push to get started and when I see the progress in 25 minutes I don't want to stop. At the same time I know I'm actually done for the day on that task and can stop and move some other projec forwards. I often make the mistake of either getting overwhelmed and stopping or getting sucked in and doing too much so I'm exhausted and have let other things slide. I coukd also start 15 different jobs and they end up muddled and nothing finished. This app is helping me to focus and prioritise and give myself a break!
I use Google calendar for appointments and any dates coming up etc. A whiteboard in my kitchen is good to keep family in touch with it all. Sometimes it's really helpful to see the silly things getting ticked off my lists. I fed people, I got dressed, I fed pets, I did laundry and made a phone call. I'm on a winner today so I've bumped some things I can leave until tomorrow.
Then there is this that I often get distracted and forget what I was doing even if I set an alarm to remind me. I typically walk back and forth in my appartment without getting anything done at all.
Time gos so quick for me.
I have a list app called Wunderlist for that, it lets you to make list an put sublist, alarms, notes and photos, and share it with my coworkers for example so that helps a lot, for the rituals I always do, I time that with chronometer and then some extra time to put an alarm so I can always get my schedule done. The reason why I think we can't memorize names, appointment, etc. It's because we consider it a trivial thing (at least in mi case) because as an asperger when need to defrag all the information so it's easier to understand, for example if I meet a person first I need to figure it out how to act properly around her/him (like how much I can talk before being anoying, how they like to be saluted, if I can joke with them and what can of jokes are appropriated, etc) so I need to discriminate useless information not to mention if that happens in a certain location that has a lot of sensory stimulation by default I trie to ignore the most so I can act properly even though forgetting a name or an appointment or an item you need to get would cause a trouble after, at least in that moment you are fine. Sorry if my explanation is to messy I'm Mexican and although I know English well I have trouble organizing the words to make a proper explanation in your language.
I've become obsessed with my filofax in an attempt to organise myself...I've spent way to much money buying stickers and inserts and the perfect planner but 90% of the time I forget to write appointments in it or I do but then forget to look in it.
I use a notebook and a schedule. Always right stuff down if I'm stressed. I got the list for tomorrow, so I just have to remember to look at the list
how to Start a TH-cam channel with Aspergers?
[also ADHD and OCD]
(because I have thoughs both on top of aspergers)
I started one before but I got really stressed about it and I Quit
If it stresses you out then you need to figure out a routine that could help you get through it, also pick a interesting subject record it, don't worry about posting it yet, don't worry if you need twelve takes cause that is what editing is for
Break it down into smaller tasks. Set a goal with a clear reason to fo this. Try again! Positive self talk is magic. You can do this!
Thank you...
Yes my memory works about 90% the Same as yours...
I really appreciate all your vids I'm going through...and realizing I
Life with this as well...
Big problems all through life...
I had a suspicion...✌😌
Hey thanks cool! Your part of the family here!
The Aspie World
Thanks!..and hood to have family who understand I must say ! ✌
Lol...Good!
lol I have the same issues with memory. I actally end up getting in trouble with my manger.
Can you talk more about your childhood?
Yeah sure! Maybe I should do s video on that!
I am pretty organised and I like to planed things very well.Being very busy needs that as well.Mostly I write lists and first I put like priorities or highlight them with red colour and then using different colours.Set alarms with reminders as well on I-phone.Sometimes unless I'm very tired when I'm on bed and going to sleep I kind analysed a bit my day and think what tomorrow I need to do as well,a bit my ritual is that ha,ha.You could make video on apps which you specifically use,that will be usefull and interesting:) Thank You
When it is possible I have people text me right before to remind me. Or else it can be really embarrassing to forget. That and my phone calendar and alarms. And asking when is it. All these are my tools. But for school I'm on time I know just how slow I am so I calculate it in my schedule and I aim to be early so the worst that can happen it I am on time instead of being late.
@TheAspieWorld I can so relate to this and you also having ADHD must be a real challenge.. I use the phone notice boards lists but I severely lose focus I have the attention span of a preschool child I have to make sure I write in detail what the reminder is for or it fails.. and a strict routine helps I've got loads of apps to try help myself but gave myself too many and I've overwhelmed myself... It doesn't help I'm really light and sound sensitive.. tbh I believe knowing my own professional background I believe I am in the ASD umbrella butm never had a formal diagnosis... However, when I did refresher training my tutor said she saw behaviours she recognised...
But it's cool I'm nearly fifty well next year and my circumstances has changed dramatically.... I have a obsession with learning new things and science has always been my thing... Btw I have a degree too University of Greenwich had to really alter my diet that's helped with my hyperactivity 😁 sorry for another long one I'll never make one of your 30 comments LOL 😁 you have a new fan 👍😎😉
Thanks for sharing these insights you have a great way of expressing yourself that helps retired professionals like me, I also retain things in picture form and that's so helpful as I'm sure we're not the only ones I've never really watched it as a series but the best way to describe me is the series Ally McBeal not sure what it was about but she had scenarios which you see in pictures whether it's a film or bugs bunny and Daffy duck doing something funny it'll pop into my head 😉 I've got many a funny look for laughing out loud haha 😁 but it's cool I never mind I enjoyed what I was thinking lol 💚👍
Hey I am glad you enjoy my videos :)!
Lol, I just realized I'm running 15 min late... I have alarms, but too many so I ignored them. Oops. Gotta run. I have adhd, and my boyfriend has asbies, so this is sooo helpful. Thanks 😊
Yes, please do a vlog on the apps you use! I'm desperate for knowing and using some of them!
I’m currently being reviewed for ASD (adult Asperger’s) at the age of 45….So. I have always been a “bit” “rubbish” with time keeping and over the years I’ve subconsciously developed my own methods but I forget phone numbers and names almost instantly and even though I have a diary I still forget… I once left a pair of colleagues standing outside of the theatre venue I worked at pre COVID for 2 hours as I had forgotten that I was opening up for maintenance ..
I’m also great at organising myself to go to the airport, station, cinema and theatre and still cut it fine even though I was ready to go an hour early or even arrive early and still be late..
Yet I can “programme” myself to wake up before my alarms go off to get up but that’s mostly due to anxiety about sleeping through my alarms which I do anyway….
I wish I had know I was on the spectrum sooner as it would have helped my poor suffering family, ex partners and work colleagues…
thank you for this channel, i love the information you provide and i really learn a lot from it.
My wife is a great helper keeping me reminded of things so I don't have to keep them in the front of my brain. Managing time wasn't so bad but Every time my phone got replaced the routine of tracking things. With it was broken. New phones really hurt to set up and get familiar with. I passed up free windows 10 because I didn't want to learn it. 7 was tough enough before that xp was easy and preferred. The world is just changing faster than I can adapt to it. My 3rd child will be 18 this year. The time went by faster than I did. It was finally 70°f here. So no more waiting for spring to arrive. I'm looking forward to making lawnmower silage for my goats in a week or 2. Grass will be growing quick. Any tips on improving patience when the clock seems to stop?
My concept of time is naff, i get dates n times mixed up even if i was told or read it in a letter merely seconds before, i have to check, recheck n recheck again to make sure i have marked it right in a calander. Even then i can forget to change the calander month and/or even forget to check the calander completely, so setting reminders on my phone can help butt it can also trigger anxieties when the alarm goes off n i forgot about it. My mam or children have reminded me too, i know they are frustrated by the fact that i forget so much yet i can remember alot of other things, like recalling life events, etc. I have bean so frustrated by it also as i never could understand why i was this way. Am 43 n not diagnosed with autism, though some professionals in the past did ask me (when i was in hospitals) if i was ever diagnosed, no testing was ever done. 😪
Thank you for your vids, they are helping me understand myself so very much.
I can relate to having those same issues and also use a calendar app on my phone with alarms. lol I have routines that I stick to every day... and have to work around the routine... if I don't do what I planned at the right time, I might end up doing the routine longer which causes lateness or cancellation in other things... it can be overwhelming... and I guess this relates to executive functioning... I'm doing the best I could and shifting my routine to more valuable things that brings more success...
Hey that’s awesome!
I NEEEEEED to see that video!!! 5:33
I do the same thing. I'm so horrible with remembering future plans and dates.
I have a great memory for things that I experience or have experienced in real time. Future plans; no, Bad. LOL
I think it has to do with that for the memorization. With me anyway. Real time events where all of my senses and emotions were a part of the memory versus minimal to almost no senses or emotions involved for future planning.
We'll call it F.P.M.S.
Future Planning Meh Syndrome. LOL
That describes my 13 year old son very well. Has been debilitating through out school so far 😓
He does have a good memory for things of his interest though.
My son and I both have aspergers. We're from illinois, usa. We'd love to see the apps you use for time management. Thanks. We watch your videos everyday for homeschool. My son Nathan in 10th grade :)
Hey! That is awesome! I’m glad you are part of my channel! A big hello from me!
Please do that video of all the apps u use to help get through your day
Good idea!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
The apps you use would be awesome to list! Thanks
When baking I take a timer with me when I leave the kitchen and often am surprised when it rings. If stovetop cooking I cannot leave the room.
With the children at home I kept a wall clock in every room and determined a time for every activity. I was very clock dependent.
Now I’m retired and the adult daughter works irregular shifts. Now I’m a mess and don’t know when to do meals or sleep.
Ah yes, it’s interesting how we are dependent of things to create a structure of time. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I often think that I might have ASD. I seem to have to a lot of the symptoms. For example I often don't understand social cues; I am extremely blunt and honest; I have a few weird tics; I can talk for a ridiculous amount of time about things I'm interested in and not even care if someone is listening or not; certain frequencies of sound give me nausea; certain levels of light give me headaches; when I was a little kid I loved to run in small circles or jump up and down flapping my hands (I don't do this anymore); sometimes I feel like inanimate objects have gender, feelings, and personality; and large changes in my life make me so anxious I can barley function. (For example: changing schools, graduating, moving, having to find a new job.) However then at the same time I completely contradict other symptoms. For example: I always make eye contact. I think this might be because in elementary school I was taught that it was rude not to make eye contact. So I learned to overcompensate by staring uncomfortably into people's eyes when they're talking. I've noticed that I even do this when watching movies or TV.
The more I research it, the more I think I am on the spectrum... The only problem is I'm really anxious and nervous to actually find out. I don't want my friends and loved ones to think of me differently; I don't want coworkers to think I'm broken, stupid, or otherwise incapable; and I especially don't want my parents to feel guilty for never noticing that I have ASD.
When I know I have an event way ahead of time I plan it till the minute and I’m early. But I always forget to write down the time I have a physical therapy appointment. The only thing that helps me with that is the fact that I always have it on the same day every week
Yeah!!!
do you mind to share your story when you were in school or college? I want to know in case I have the same problem with you or not.
Do you find it difficult to understand what the teacher is assigning to when you were in school? did you sometimes feel you were confused when your mates throws sarcasms or jokes to you and someone said to you that you were too innocent bcs u even don't understand they were throw sarcasm?is it trait of asperger?
Thank you for this video 👍👽. I have no concept of time at all and it's extremely difficult especially when I'm out in public trying to understand bus/train timetables or read clocks it seems time goes too fast or too slow never inbetween for me to get on with chores as I wonder where the time goes
I’m late for everything I do. I get a lot of anxiety just worrying to be late, and my anxiety promos my obsessive routines and I make more mistakes when I’m anxious. Both of these things cause me to take more time. Then, I’m late, frazzled, and upset. One of my obsessive coping behaviors is body focused repetitive grooming (BFRB) which is sometimes dermotillomania.. making it even harder to leave my apartment. Ugh.
For me, I have to write out my weekly and daily plan the night before or I’m just going to float. Then check it in the morning with my phone alarm and check my whiteboard by my bed.
One of my obsessions is time and if I'm late for anything because of traffic, delayed by small talking mum's!!! Etc then I get super stressed and it totally ruins my day I wish I didn't care if I was late lol
Thank you for this video! 👍👽I have no concept of time so it makes planning simple things more stressful as I write symbols instead of numbers or have a specific song/tune/colour I associate with my time & time management,because that makes more sense to me when I try that yet numbers calenders bus/train/plane timetables and guessing how long 10 mins isn't instinctual to me it's like another language I find hard to decode because it's not natural (that's how it is for me) but I don't like asking for help from strangers if I'm lost etc...for fear of ridicule so it's a vicious cycle but it will take the entire week just to plan for one day/event when it seems so natural for anybody else so I find it exhausting.
Try keeping a note to write small things in. I usually do a to list for each day.If i don't i'll just keep on procrastinating.
Your Videos are very interesting!
Thank you!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I have so much trouble with time management! especially with my ritualsand my random work schedules. I would love to know what apps you use.
Same for the memory part - I can remember tons of facts and lines from movies, tv shows, books, and other areas of interest but if someone says their name or to remember some detail, such as a birthday or an event or what to get at the store that information becomes like noise in my head and tends to vanish. but at the same time I can remember whole conversations depending on the context
I have always struggled with time keeping despite the fact I always try to be on time. My daughter who is also on the spectrum is running into issues at school for the same reason.
✌🏼
I use Millitary time ,and I use Digital Clocks.
I should be studying and yet im watching this.
I also have a lot of trouble with OCD rituals, when preparing for school/work in the morning I CAN'T STOP flossing in the mirror. Sometimes I'll have to give up doing my hair or my makeup because I lose time because of that.
I am the exact same way with making future plans. For some reason, they just leave my head. I use two calendars, alarms and reminder apps... and I still forget to use them.