A little story time about skin slip: I had a full term stillborn baby during a c section. When he was presented to me when I woke up, he was swaddled. He had probably already died a few days prior to the c section so he may have had some decomposition. All I saw was his beautiful face and gorgeous head full of jet black hair. At his funeral, the director asked us for a blanket. He said the baby’s hands didn’t look good. When we gave him the blanket he literally ran up the aisle to tuck the baby in to his casket before we could approach and see him. When I got to him, I realized that I had never seen his hands. Maybe there’s something internal that makes a mother inspect her baby’s hands and feet to count the fingers and toes, I don’t know. But it was important to me that I see his hands. So I uncovered him and saw the sweetest tiny fingers, his perfect little fingernails. He had some of that skin slip you talked about, the skin was peeling and different colors but it was my baby’s hands, and that’s all I cared about. He would have been 20 this month.
My grandpapa died three weeks ago. I miss him like crazy and am still mourning. But while preparing for the viewing I went and told the funeral director I wanted to help prepare him. I was able to shave him and fix his hair the way he always liked it. While doing that I spoke to him and sang his favorite church songs to him. It gave me a bit of peace to know that was able to do that one last thing for him. So thank you Caitlin there's no way I'd have felt comfortable enough to do that let alone ask to do it before I began following your channel. ♡ **edit** Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who left comments. I read them and although they made me cry I do so very much appreciate them. ♡
Well of course,sorry for the loss of your grandpapa. But I don't feel sad about your story,I feel the love you have for him,and the comfort you got helping to make him look his best! I'm glad you felt strong enough to do this for him! Bless you! He ain't never gonna be gone while you hold him in your heart! Stay safe and healthy.
My cousin and childhood best friend died a few weeks ago. He passed away in a horrific car accident. He went over the bridge and into the river and was there for two days before we found him. He had an autopsy done before the funeral. The morticians did a fantastic job on him. Despite being crushed in a high speed car accident, being dead in the water for two days, and having an autopsy done, he looked perfect. These people are angels
I would call them angel artisans. I lost a good friend to murder. She was 24, she was murdered by her husband. I was quite fearful of the viewing/wake. She looked so very beautiful, like a sleeping angel, and not at all like my awful expectations. God bless everyone in this occupation. You are appreciated beyond measure.
I had a friend die to Domestic Violence last year at the hands of her 2nd baby daddy. They were arguing in the bedroom and he pulled up his gun and shot her in front of her 4 oldest girls and called it in as a suicide so I feel your pain of using a friend 💔💔💔
One of the things that I love about this channel is how human is. We're talking about dead bodies, decomposing bodies, but it never loses the humanity... She knows that the body in front of her was someone's family and treats it with so much respect. Also how she takes care of the viewers too putting the warnings before the triggers. I'm learning about something like this without risks of accidental trauma. Excellent work!
Well if theres one thing we are all definitely going to do its die. Idk why ppl act like it doesn't exist when its inevitable for all of us. Its the only thing 100% of us have in common, whats more human than death?? If modern society would stop acting like its a 4 letter word no one should think about we would be able to handle it better. We are basically breeding depression and encouraging it 😕cuz most ppl have absolutely no idea how to properly grieve. In cultures that embrace death grieve better/healthier
I was about to leave a “thank you” to Caitlin for warning her viewers (in this particular case ME) but you did a much better job!! Sooooo I guess I should be thanking you!!! You said it so much better than I could’ve as well!!
Hi, I was wondering if you'd be interested in an opportunity I have for you? It's great, you just buy all of these scented oils from me and use them and if you like them you can try to sell some to someone else to make the money back that you already spent buying them. Sounds great, doesn't it? I'll put you down for 10 boxes.
When my mom was diagnosed with AML, she was given 7 wks to live. She said she was grateful to be able to pick out her own casket, flowers, and other funeral arrangements. One thing she also did, was to ask me to do her makeup. Now I know my experience isn’t about a severely decomposed body, but when my mom died, I felt that it was an honor to do this final thing for her…to prepare her hair and to put her makeup on. This was a very interesting video! Thanks for putting this out there…you ladies are awesome!
I was honored to do my deceased client's hair after her death. She passed away from cancer she knew she was leaving. But when I met her her hair was about a cpl inches long. Her hair grew back so pretty after chemo she loved me always faithful with her hair appointments. No one would touch her hair except for me. After her death I knew that she wanted me to do her. So this day her husband walked into the salon I knew exactly why he was there. Later after the service was over I spoke to him and he mentioned how those curls in her hair wouldn't go anywhere. He said they tried to comb her beautiful hair but those curls was locked in. Mrs Annie Rogers RIP beautiful lady.
My uncle had oral cancer and the embalmer restored his face, allowing him to look as he did before he was sick. What they do for families is fantastic work.
while my father was dying from alzheimer's, his prostate cancer accelerated things, and it was shocking what his 300lb gorilla frame looked like at about 80lbs. but he was clean, shaved, and looked really well in spite of it. and i had the decency to tell the home's people that. the relief and thanks on their faces was hard to describe. your talents don't go unappreciated, all.
I think my mother has always told the people what good jobs they did. Altho when my sisters and I were kids we were rough with our criticism at my grandmothers funeral. It was over 25 yrs ago so techniques have changed.
@WARLORD INFERNAL Judge much? Who the F*ck are you to tell others how to react after a family member dies? Whether Yesterday or 50 yrs ago,let ppl mourn/reminisce HOW THEY WILL. GEEEZUZ
@WARLORD INFERNAL The restoration of the mourned is not for "pretty looks", as you infer, but from respect for who the living person had known himself to be. The mourning want to respect the memories of the deceased, not only how the person was perceived in pristine structure.
My high school girlfriend had one mission in life, to become a Mortician. She was fascinated by every facet of the work, and so genuinely caring of the decedent. She passed away from a malignant brain tumor in her first year of Uni (we all knew it was coming and just continued life with her until she couldn't). She never got to realize her dream, your channel/work, makes me remember her so fondly. She would have LOVED your channel and would instantly have wanted to friends with you, she had a passion for this in much the way you seem to and I have a feeling she would've become a professional much like yourself, educating and sharing with everyone in an interesting way. Fascinating content, thank you.
I just wanted to reply to my own original comment, to say THANK YOU! For those of you that commented so kindly, please know your words actually touched me through the big, cold internet and made me smile. Marie would have smacked me and said "quit being a sappy nerd" lol. Also, thank you for the "likes" I think this is the most liked comment I've ever posted anywhere, and that's amazing. @caitlin doughty - you should feel so proud, you have a really great community of folks that follow your channel.
@@kristencalifra6421 it is a gift imo. They are helping the grieving by making sure their loved ones look their very best before they will be buried, never to be seen again. It’s an art form really because it takes a lot to sculpt a body that has been deceased/decomposed. Everyone has to be make money to live so I wouldn’t fault them for charging since we need money to survive in this world. I definitely think it is a dark art since I’d imagine I’d get depressing at times especially when you learn about how the person died.
When my grandfather died, he hadn't looked like himself in months, so we initially decided on a closed casket. Many thanks to the embalmer who, like Monica, told us they could restore him and then let us make our final decision, because he actually looked healthier at his wake than he had in years!
I wish we had of gotten a “Hardcore Embalmer” to work on my grandfather when he passed, he hadn’t looked like himself in months before he died and he looked so much worse when he was dead, I’ve always thought the “dead old person” look was an exaggeration... nope, not in the slightest
My grandfather had Parkinsons so for the last 10 years of his life he was all stressed looking because his muscles were full of rigidity. At his viewing/funeral he was finally relaxed and I got to mourn the grandpa I had been missing for the previous 10 years.
If my body is decomposed enough to have maggots inside, bury me as quickly as possible in a closed decomposable coffin. You have permission to sing "the worms crawl in, the world's crawl out, the worms play pinochle on her snout." When drinking after the funeral.
@Andro mache I believe since this episode is about severely decomposed bodies, that wouldn't be an at home thing. I think unfortunately too many people are too weird that at home preparation won't be possible. Unless you can get your religion recognized by the government. Then you might have a chance.
@Andro mache I don't understand your unnecessary rudeness. You watched the video, yes? You know they are discussing working with people who have been exposed to the elements, possibly found after days, and are often too hard of a case for licensed embalmers to assist with? If you watched ANY of Caitlin's videos you'd know she advocates for natural as possible burials and home funerals. Monica is skilled in "hard cases" and is educating us and Caitlin on what work is done to help care for these people. And to help their families process a potentially traumatic death and get the option to say goodbye and see their loved one, even with advanced stages of decomposition, without traumatizing the family further.
The discoloration is so true. My dad had been brought straight from death to the funeral home. The mortician asked if we wanted to see my dad before he had any makeup on after being embalmed. He was all purple and green. Something I wasn’t prepared for. Thank you for your channel. It has helped me gain some closure and awareness on my father’s death. I’m not afraid to think of death anymore
You don't even need to be in a state of active decomposition to change colour either. My neighbour had a heart attack on her doorstep and the paramedics worked on her for about an hour trying to bring her back, which she obviously wasn't going to, and sometimes it feels a bit performative, but her family were all crowded round watching in horror so I can understand why they "put on a show" so to speak. But the whole time, she was a deep blurple shade, almost like the cartoon holding your breath kind of colour. I suppose it was something to do with how she died, the heart involvement, and then the resuscitation attempts, but it was such a distinct and rich colour. Horrible. I think most people think death is like you see on TV and in movies, peaceful and quiet and like going to sleep, so it can be quite shocking when they see someone dead in real life. Luckily, like anything traumatising you experience, you may remember details as clearly as it happened yesterday, but there's almost a disconnect, as if it happened to someone else or you're telling a story, just a wall between you as you are now and who you were in that moment. Brains are cool that way, protecting us from being unable to carry on.
I'm interested to know how they keep their lunches down. The smell is what's stopping me from going to mortician school. The bodies I could handle, I think, but the smell... no way, I'm a barfer.
sugar squad when my step dad passed he couldn’t be embalmed due to cirrhosis and we waited a week for family to come from overseas for the funeral. Immediate family only were allowed to view the body because of the condition. It’s an unmistakable smell, rotting meat plus a sickly sweet smell mixed together 🤢🤢
I used to have a fear of dead bodies. My best friend died in the same room that I was in overnight, the next morning blood had poured from his mouth and pooled on the pillow. Stiff as a board in the rigimortis stage, the blood had pooled under and settled very visibly. He was a statue almost when the authorities had come and carried him off. Watching your channel gives me a different point of view and kills that fear.
One thing struck me so hard when watching this video: love. Subjects like this are so often labeled as grim or macabre. But at the heart of it is love, and a desire to help the bereaved through something profound.
That's why this channel is so important. It really helps you see death and the whole process as just a natural, normal thing that can be quite the show.
Just wanted to say thank you Caitlin. My Grandmother passed away at home during this epidemic. I was able to tell my father it was ok for us to wait until he was ready for her to be taken away. I was able to close her mouth, fold her arms, keep her cold, and arranged her cremation. At a time when we are all feeling so powerless, it made all the difference to be armed with all this knowledge and empowerment. Thank you.
I’m also sorry for your loss Emily. I just wanted to say that you did a nice thing for your father and you also thanked Caitlin for her interesting and educational information, which was very appropriate and I appreciate that. My son passed away at home and I was able to see him before they took him away, which means more now than I expected it would. Family members having the ability to decide to do what they want in difficult times like this is a gift that will be appreciated for a long time. Everybody’s different in how they grieve and want to remember their loved ones. Your comment stood out for me and I had to put in my two cents. Take care.
My grandfather died across the world this week, and I can't go to the funeral or really be involved. Still, your videos have still helped me deal with his death, somewhat. Thanks Caitlin.
Sorry for you loss. My papa was unable to attend his mama's funeral 13 years ago as he had just moved from the UK to the states. There is some law stating if you leave the country while waiting for a green card or citizenship you can't go back. Our family knew that nain would understand. It was difficult for papa but that's the way it was. I hope you are able to get through this. Sending love to you and your family.
My grandad died a couple of weeks ago, not directly from covid, but not being allowed visitors in the nursing home probably had to do with it. His kids got to see him so my dad sent me a picture which I value highly. Then direct cremation. We will hold a small service in the beginning of July witch I can attend to.
My big brother passed away about 3 months ago due to heart failure. He was in his truck and we couldn’t find him for a day, and the officers wouldn’t let us see him, saying he didn’t looks good due to the position he was in. We wanted to see him, just to help your brain understand that they are actually gone. The funeral director told us right before that for whatever reason, he turned really red that day. (I think he was embarrassed even in death) and the director even said he had no idea why. But he warned us that we would see makeup on him, that they had to use makeup darker than his natural color to offset the red. I was petrified to see him. When we did see him, it was like he was sleeping. So peaceful, and in life he always looked a little angry sleeping because of his brow shape. We got to see him one last time and the director really made sure he looked like… well, him.
Bless this woman. I have a high tolerance for decomposition, infestation, and stench, but dealing with a human body in that condition would be another thing entirely.
Blood and gore? All that stuff is chill, It doesn’t bother me at all. But ppl decomposition? Nahhhhh . Also I’m stupid I clicked this while eating a sandwich hopefully I’ll be fine
Moebym I wonder the same thing. I definitely think it takes time! I read Caitlin’s first book “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes”, and she talks at length about how hard it was for her when she 1st began working at a crematory. I highly recommend checking it out, if you haven’t already. But I also think it takes a certain kind of person to do what Caitlin and others in the “death fields” (coroners, crime scene investigators, crime scene cleaners, etc) do every day. I don’t mean it’s about being a strong or weak person-I can’t put it into words. 🤷🏻♀️
Same. I'm usually fine with all the content here, but this one is making me way more squeamish than usual. Maggots; that is a huge nono for me it seems. I did not know how much that would affect me & I feel like I learned about myself today.
My great grandmother died yesterday, she was 93 and a force to be reckoned with. For the first time, I didn't cry when someone died. Throughout our visits south she would always say "im going home" and even showed me the clothing she wants to be buried with and the plot next to her husband, none of my other relatives have ever talked about themselves dying, and her positivity about it gave me so much peace. Watching your videos has helped me to really appreciate death and become more comfortable with it and I am so grateful
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad to hear that you got to know such a strong and wise human. I hope I can be like her. Thank you for sharing a bit a about her with us ❤️
I was 18 when I lost a classmate to a railway accident. The entire class went to his funeral and I was really worried about seeing him, since the accident was extremely gruesome. They had him in a casket but he was wrapped in a white cloth from head to toe. I really appreciate professionals that put in so much effort to help us remember our dead loved ones the way they used to be .
@@TommyRou it was a thick cloth. Unfortunately we didn't get to talk to him or touch him one last time. He was an only child and his family was absolutely heartbroken so we just stood there, looked at him once and offered our condolences to his dad.
@@SingerCommaMarla I'm sorry you had to go through that. Coming to terms with death at such a young age must've been painful, hope you're better now ❤️
I'm a former funeral director and grew up in a funeral home... my brother is still in the business. I only remember one or two people that we couldn't prepare for an open casket service. One was an unfortunate elderly lady that had been deceased for at least two weeks before she was found. There was nothing we could do. The other was an older guy who passed away in his garage workshop. Next to a space heater. With his three cats in there with him. Nothing we could do. I had a friend killed in a car accident, she was partially ejected and the car rolled over onto her head, you can imagine the result. My good friend who is also a funeral director in the same town was able to completely reconstruct her whole head perfectly, with just a few pictures of her. It was absolutely amazing, and gave the family as good of a last memory of her as possible.
A friend of mine's downstairs neighbour died leaning against a radiator. She and her nearly-dead starving dog were found 2 or 3 weeks later, and she'd basically... melted onto the radiator. Really sad and really gross. Policemen and funeral home people puking like mad in the garden. I wonder what could have been done for her with this sort of embalming. (My friends took in the dog and she made a full recovery and to this day is still loved like crazy)
As a first responder whose found quite a few decomposed loved ones, it really reassures me that there are people who are able to help these families. Thank you so much for putting out a video that highlights these services.
My sister was in the sun for a whole hot summer week and they could not do this for her. Honestly the throat area rung memory bells. But I believe the family can choose if they want and can afford it. But in my cultural funerary case (Tangi. Where you have an open coffin for three days) she was sealed tightly in a bag to stop...smells. And it was a closed coffin obviously. As much as I wanted to see her again, I don't think she would appreciate being seen like that haha. And don't worry, it doesn't affect me any more. Death is a natural part of life and I'm thankful to be raised in a culture where death isn't the end all but a celebration of their life. So I'm super happy more 'deathlings' are becoming aware its not scary!
fellow kiwi here, sending much love and aroha for you and your loved one. this channel is so important to have a positive death experiences whether it's coping, or organising a will etc
Another Kiwi here! Great to see a couple on Caitlin's channel. I'm Pakeha, but tangi make so much sense to me. When a Maori friend of mine died, it was just lovely to be able to see her (even though they put some weird glitterly makeup on her and she never wore makeup), have a chat, mingle with others, and grieve openly if that's what you needed to do. Pakeha funerals are so cold.
My father was a police officer and diver. He was on the Scuba recovery team. He had to search under water in dark, murky, Florida swamp water for bodies. Which meant he often didn't find a submerged body until running in to it face to face underwater with a flashlight. I remember one time he was dragging a bloated body out of water next to a chemical plant, and the arms came out of the sockets and ripped off when the body snagged in the brush. It was so rotten and soft.
I hate to say that "I was literally thinking about this yesterday". However, there is a story here in Massachusetts about an older gentleman (62) who went missing from a homeless veterans shelter in the suburbs five weeks ago being found. He hadn't wandered off into the woods or fallen into a nearby swamp, rather, he was found in a stairwell in a large building right on the premises of the Bedford VA hospital from which he was missing. No one had simply used that stairwell in five weeks until yesterday morning when some unfortunate schmuck decided not to take the elevator, and was unlucky enough to make the discovery.
Caitlin, my wife and I just read your first book and it provides an excellent backstory that makes us appreciate you more. I have a condition for which studies have shown that about half the people die within 5 years. I’m at year 3 and we’ve already met with the funeral home regarding arrangements. The knowledge you’ve provided has been an immense help. Hope to be in the surviving half but we’re prepared in case I’m not.
Good on you for making preparations, that will be a great help for your loved ones when your time comes. I hope you will experience lots of peace and joy throughout the years ahead, no matter how many or few they might be.
My grandmother Rest her soul, she was old with cancer and Alzheimer’s. She was literally skin and bones! When I saw her at the funeral home I was amazed!!!!!!! It looked like my grandma in her good days again. Was something else. I almost left thinking I was at the wrong place
I'll never understand why they fished my cousin's body out of the bottom of the lake after 3 days of being under and gave him an *open casket* funeral, because underneath all that caked-on base makeup that was veeeeery much the wrong color (and seemingly no other attempt at makeup), he was very puffy, very blue, and somewhat decomposed... I get wanting an open casket, and honestly it fulfilled my curiosity. But it seems like a funeral director wouldn't want someone that... terrible looking going out in public like that.
When my grandpa died, he wasn’t decomposing or anything, but his makeup was the wrong color. My mom asked for the makeup and re did his face and hands.
Former funeral director here... they did a bad job, period. It was beyond their talent to make your cousin look presentable, and they shouldn't have tried. I'm sorry your family had to see that.
@@Nothing-zw3yd Thank you. I know the family wanted an open casket, and I'm sure the funeral director did their best, but there's not a lot you can do for a body that's been under water for 3 days, and I feel like it might have traumatized more people than it brought peace to
Seeing 6 foot Caitlin next to Monica is giving me life. It's like, "So tell me what you've been up to lately, little sister!" :) They even have semi-matching tops!
Im danish and we dont do open caskets. When my mother died 8 months ago, my daughter insisted puttting on nailpolish on granmother. So she went to the nursinghome where my mother still layed and gave her pretty pink nails. As she said, she had almost never seen grandmom whithout it and couldt not stand the thought of her being crematet without🙏🙏
Oh you don't do open caskets in Denmark? I'm Swedish and we usually don't do it either, however we are allowed to if we want to. It's just not very common. Just like participating in the cremation, not very common but you are allowed to if you want.
My stepdad was killed in a wreck in TX back in 2008. It was a tanker wreck and his face was in bad condition. I was told we couldn't have open casket to begin with. However he'd made a friend with a retired lady who reconstructed faces of the dead before she retired. She came out of retirement to fix his face. We live in NC so i flew mom home one day and him home the next. Mom wanted to see him the day he arrived so i saw him first. I was afraid he'd look bad with no makeup even after she fixed his face so i made them take me first. He looked good actually. Heavy bruising but other than that, he looked like Rocky. I was shocked at how good he looked. I never even met the lady but she became my hero that day. I don't believe she even charged us. But thanks to her, we were able to have our open casket funeral for him. I later learned through the autopsy report just how bad his face was. Completely destroyed one of his eyes and crushed part of his face. This lady who i never even met performed a miracle for free because she thought so much of him. Just shows how amazing Rocky was to have made that kind of friend. Things were so crazy then but i wish I'd have reached out to her. But she will always be in my heart. I'll never forget what she did for us.. 💞
I have a lot of respect for Monica and everyone else who does that job. That’s a very difficult job and I could never handle that kind of work. I think that is amazing that her and others in that field can give that gift to the families and the deceased.
i've had to remove dead/decaying animals, dogs, hogs, bulls. one thing that wasn't mentioned was the "care" necessary to avoid 2 or more pieces of the Deceased. of course with humans, a good suit would solve that.
As they were showing the chemicals they use I coudn't help but worry about their health when using hazardous chemicals. Even hairdressers that are exposed to toxic fumes everyday are more at risk to lung cancer and other respiratory disease.
The Black Baron my sister is a Mortician and she got started by going to pick up the bodies of the deceased and transporting them to the funeral home. She told me that she has taken care of quite a few deceased that were badly decomposed. She said that after doing it for so long that you get used to it that it comes with the job. She says she loves what she does. I still could never do that kind of work or be a paramedic that’s a difficult job as well.
I love how she is really not passionate about embalming yet she gives it a platform as an option and gives great depth in doing so. Gosh, I wish everyone could be as ballanced
I used to have a fear of needles while being absolutely fine with gross stuff. The needle bit would've made me cringe so hard. Having required a lot of blood tests over the years I've overcome it (I actually find it cool watching the blood enter the tube now lol), but man, I used to hate em
I’m a vet tech and I’ve seen clients drop when the vet just pulls out a needle (silly doctors 😉). This is why I always ask if owners are okay with them, prior to bring them out in the open.
@@Leeqzombie I used to be afraid of needles, too. Especially finger pricking and small needles, for some strange reason. Safe to say I've gotten over it. I went in for a blood test recently and the nurse was like "um, you might want to look away so you don't flinch when I draw your blood", and like a total weirdo I said "no, that's ok, I like to watch".
@@AaAa-kv9fj Actually, there are lots of people who have never touched inject-able drugs a day in their lives but STILL have very severe needle phobias (myself included). Especially when watching needles be injected into what would be "sensitive" areas, like the fingers, face, or in/around wounds.
One of my best friends passed away in 2016. It was heart wrenching to say the least. She died in a high speed car accident, but the family wanted an open casket funeral. The last time I saw her, I saw no signs that she had been in a severe accident. I saw my friend and I really appreciate the work that embalmers do, even if I don't agree with the practice in most cases. There's a time and place for everything and I appreciate that her family had the resources and access to such a skilled professional to let me see my friend one last time.
Considering where I come from (South Africa) and being black there's so many cultural things we go through during the week before the funeral which is crazy expensive once you calculate the expenses. I would rather be turned into ash because It's cheap but again because of cultural things I can't
1. This video couldn't be more appropriate: right this morning we woke up to see police officers outside our home, turns out one of our neighbours was found today being dead for 4 weeks >_> 2. I'm not really sensitive about dead bodies (I'm usually way more queasy with the living), but I do appreciate the trigger warnings. Being polite and respectful will never go out of fashion :) 3. I'm 5.11, Death Mother can be my role model! yay!!!
“Way more queasy with the living” wow I’ve never felt anything more, if what makes you queasy is how horrible people can be. 😂 also I’m sorry about your neighbor.
I stayed with my dad's body for hours at the hospital after he died until the funeral home came. It was incredible how quickly he changed. My last memory of him would have been of how horrific he looked when the funeral home finally came, rather than of how much he looked like he was just my dad having a nap by the time he was prepped for viewing. Until I saw him in the casket, I had no comprehension of how important a final viewing can be for closure. I had no idea it was possible to restore some decomposed bodies to a point where that open casket can become a possibility. This is Important Work.
Im sorry about your dad honey, youre very strong for being there and staying with him, he would appreciate it SO much knowing you did that.. Both my parents are gone now due to addiction, but my mom was more recent it was last year that she overdosed... She was brain dead but on life support at the hospital so she wasnt decomposing yet, and i went in and wiped her whole body down gently but thoroughly with baby wipes to make her feel clean and get rid of any blood etc, and brushed her beautiful loonnngg black hair and styled it ( my hair is now down to my bum and black just like hers💕) , trimmed and painted her finger nails and toe nails ( she always had beautiful nailpolish and was known for that, but her fingers were chipped and covered in blood after the overdose and the struggle, so i couldny leave them that way. So i painted them her favorite baby blue color + mine were matching) and i put a pair of my lil earings in her ears.. Then i put a pair of my favorite, comfy jammies on her and put this beautiful, thin, soft blankey on her that my husband got me for christmas..she was SO cold... The blankey meant alot to me and was so nice and comfy, and it was my fav thing to sleep in so i wanted her to be able to "sleep" for eternity with it.. All clean, comfy, and as beautiful as she always was.. Sorry for the rant. Im still very much not over it.
My mom had a heart attack at 42 in her bed with my dad next to her . But she was still warm and had tears on her face when I seen her, it kinda looked she was sleeping but I ran and was in complete sadness to stay and wait for the coroner . I came back after like an hour after the ems were performing CPR and what she looked like after haunts me to this day . I never wanted to remember her beautiful face the way I last saw but I can’t unsee it . Her tongue was hanging out her mouth and she was cold as Ice.😣🥺 these people are brave as heck to do this type of work and still be capable of having a decent night of sleep .
When my mom passed away a few years back the funeral director kept apologizing to me saying he had done the best he could considering the circumstances with my mother. I told him not to worry I completely understood what they were up against I had worked in the field for a short time. They did a wonderful job. It really is a fascinating career choice. I learned a lot in the year I worked in the field and highly respect people for taking on this career choice. My mother was beautiful when she was laid to rest. Just the way she wanted in her purple paisley pajamas.
Thats very sweet about the jammies, i did the same thing.. Im sorry about your mama honey.. Both my parents are gone now due to addiction, but my mom was more recent it was last year that she overdosed... She was brain dead but on life support at the hospital so she wasnt decomposing yet, and i went in and wiped her whole body down gently but thoroughly with baby wipes to make her feel clean and get rid of any blood etc, and brushed her beautiful loonnngg black hair and styled it ( my hair is now down to my bum and black just like hers💕) , trimmed and painted her finger nails and toe nails ( she always had beautiful nailpolish and was known for that, but her fingers were chipped and covered in blood after the overdose and the struggle, so i couldny leave them that way. So i painted them her favorite baby blue color + mine were matching) and i put a pair of my lil earings in her ears.. Then i put a pair of my favorite, comfy jammies on her and put this beautiful, thin, soft blankey on her that my husband got me for christmas..she was SO cold... The blankey meant alot to me and was so nice and comfy, and it was my fav thing to sleep in so i wanted her to be able to "sleep" for eternity with it.. All clean, comfy, and as beautiful as she always was.. Sorry for the rant. Im still very much not over it.
Yummie mummiee baaabyxoxo I am so sorry for your loss. I lived with my great grandmother until she died when I was 15. I was so close to her and I loved her more than anything. She died on a national holiday so we couldn’t have a service for almost a week. I went in to see her expecting the worst but she looked so beautiful. Exactly the way she looked days before. She looked like she’d dressed up to go out and went for a nap before. I’m glad of that because it made me comfortable knowing she was looking beautiful for eternity in the clothes I chose for her. Its the most important step and really comforts people in the grieving process.
@@rae7864 Thankyou for sharing your story with us. You are allowed to rant, after all, who says how - and for how long - we can grieve. It’s different and personal to us all. Your account of making your mum beautiful again is very touching. I love that you matched her nails to yours, and that you gave her your special “blankie” I’m sending you love and healing as you work through this 💜💜💜
I think she's just over 6 foot tall. I think she mentioned it in a recent video or her book. Plus I think Monika is also really petite which makes an interesting contrast.
I lost my first boyfriend to suicide 11 months ago. On November 20th it will be a year. He hung himself & unfortunately you could still see the lacerations on his neck & his face was all bloated, honestly looked kind of similar to one of the pig pictures. He wasn’t decomposed because he did it at night & was found in the morning but the image of seeing him in his casket has been completely burned into my memory & it sucks. He was buried in his Army uniform as well because he was in the military. It didn’t seem like he had a Mortician that genuinely cared for his appearance but I appreciate the work these people do. For obvious reasons his death traumatized me severely & I have since been diagnosed with Ptsd, it was so bad that I was eating pizza a few weeks later & the pizza smelled like the funeral home he was in & I instantly started gagging & crying. 5 months after I lost my boyfriend, I lost my best friend & she was dressed to the nines, eye lashes on, edges done, nails on, in her favorite color etc- it made me happier than sad because I knew if she were here she’d tell me to make sure her eye lashes looked good & they damn well did. Anyways, after loosing so many people (yes there were more than those two) I find turning to knowledge and learning about these things helps me cope because I try & try to find a reason and this is the only way to & for that I thank not only morticians, but this channel because it’s helped me make sense of all the losses I’ve had to deal with. They’re human just like us, & they truly are so strong to do this on the daily. I love the selflessness in this career.
i know you left this comment a while ago but i just wanted to say i’m so sorry for your loss, i can’t imagine how difficult any of this would be…i hope you’re holding up okay and time has healed a bit ❤
hi, i’m just seeing this for the first time and thought it was a strange coincidence that today is the anniversary. i usually never comment on youtube but just wanted to say i’m sorry for your loss and i hope you’re doing alright. if it means something, i’ve struggled with suicidal tendencies for a long time but reading your perspective genuinely made me consider things i haven’t before. hoping that knowing your story has impacted at least one person positively can make you feel a little bit better.
It's really cool that despite being pro decomposition and natural burial, you are still open to collaborate with embalmers and see some cases where the grieving might need one. Also that sneaking maggot is a mental image, thanks
I never really thought about the behind the scenes stuff with the bodies, until my good friend Ricky passed. He was a gay black man in a pretty rural community, and it wasn't always easy for him. Then one morning, he threw himself in front of a tractor trailer truck. I was told when the services would be, and in my mind I just assumed he'd have to be cremated. Lo and behold, I walked into the church, and see my pal Ricky up front in the box. I was pretty impressed. I could NEVER do this job, but I'm so thankful for those that can and do.
My grandpa was over done in 1996, my grandma was done ok in 2011, and my late husband was done horrible in 2016. My husband had discoloration they used grease makeup like the stuff for Halloween. It was melting off. I was already heartbroken and then seeing that was even more disappointed. Not all morticians care or have the knowledge as you two do.
I'm so thankful for GREAT morticians! They put my 19 year old nephew back together after he was beat to death in '03. We weren't allowed to touch his face or any part of his body for fear it would collapse. They had to completely rebuild his face, we had to provide them with three shirts...his body was so broken and bruised, they didn't want family see him like that. Such a sad event in our lives.
My grandmother was killed in a head-on car wreck, which destroyed her face when she hit the steering wheel (no seatbelts on her car back in 1975). The undertakers did a really good job in restoring her face with what resources they had at the time. When we put her glasses back on, she really looked 'normal.' I applaud this work, because it's so important to the family to have closure, I believe!
@@cadaverdog1424 Noo...once a car is hit, you're done. The car will never be the same. Ask any mechanic. It isn't fair to lie and pawn it off on someone. Parts only. especially since someone DIED in it. I'm assuming this was an older car, THEN, as seat belts were universal by 1972, I think...by which year cars got kind of worthless in terms of being ruined by insurance and lead gas issues ruining the power. You go to any car show, and you won't see anything from 1972 til the 1980s. It's rare. Also, if it was a sedan (4 door) or a very common car, it would NEVER be worth anything to begin with. Sedans don't generally ever keep their value, even 30 40 years from now.
I think the warning was the title of this video. I'm sorry you're not okay, but that's life... I mean it's everywhere -- fungi, bugs, bacteria -- without nature's recyclers life on this planet couldn't continue.
Thank you for this video. My dad passed away suddenly recently. He lived alone independently and one of us live nearby and he wasn't found until he hadn't returned phone calls or several days, which was also typical of him. My sister and brother really wanted the full funeral, complete with viewing and the funeral director warned us this might be challenging. Thanks for helping me understand why his skin was darker, ears had slipped etc. They did a good job but he definitely looked more dead than sleeping. Since we couldn't be with him as he died, in a way it helped us grasp the reality of him being gone.
Why nana died last year at 93, I was shaking so much I thought I was going to be sick when I went into the funeral home to see her. I didn’t know what to expect, I’d never seen a dead body before and assumed she’d look old and dead and it would traumatise me. She looked amazing!! She looked peaceful, and easily 20 years younger. I was so happy I went because I very nearly didn’t. I’m so thankful there are people who do this for a job, they’ll never know how much their work is appreciated!
my grandma died when i was eight, and my mom didn't want me or my brother to see her so really all I remember is my grandpa saying " look what they did to your mother's face" to my mom. I only remember seeing her for like a split second and then suddenly being in the back of the room away from her casket.
My late father was not found for several days and in the summer heat. A fitting tribute to his character. Needless to say, the funeral was closed casket, but first we, the family went to the funeral home for a viewing. It did help me get closure, especially since I hadn't seen him for at least a decade. I wrote a short story and a poem about it.
My mom’s parents and grandpa were killed in a car wreck, they were hit by a drunk driver who came speeding over a hill on the wrong side of the road. All the people in both cars were killed. Mom said she couldn’t recognize them, their faces were too distorted by the damage from the wreck. That has always disturbed me... she was 14 years old, and they had a triple funeral for them. It was hard for her to get closure when she couldn’t recognize either of her parents. My Dad passed on Dec. 29th. I was with him in hospice for 2 full days and nights and sat by his side as he took his last breath. I stayed with him until a man from the funeral home came to take him. When I saw Dad again before the visitation (his wish was always to be preserved) I was scared he wouldn’t look like himself anymore, that they wouldn’t do a good job with embalming or makeup. But he looked like my Dad, peaceful and at rest. He had his dignity back after the awful weeks of being in the hospital and hospice. I don’t know if I could have gotten the same closure with cremation or natural burial. As much as the embalming process disturbs me, it was also comforting in a way to see him dressed in his favorite dress-up clothes, looking peaceful and dignified, with a barnwood-style casket, which I branded with the cattle brands he used on the ranch.
My great grandfather’s funeral was a few days ago and he’d passed away almost a month prior. I was kinda wondering how his body could keep up bc my family really wanted a viewing. Honestly, he looked pretty pristine :) the people in charge of taking care of his body did a great job and we had a smooth funeral service and he was able to be buried next to my great grandmother :)
Back in the 70’s while I was in nursing school my uncle died several days after a diving accident. He was almost completely bald and had had Crutchfield tongs placed for a broken neck. I cautioned my mother that the site of the tongs might be noticeable but there was absolutely no sign of the tong insertion. He looked very natural. Thanks to all of you that do this work❤️
I've had that thought before too. They both seem to enunciate very clearly and carefully. I think they also have a similar sense of humor, but that might just be me.
This is what had to be done when my uncle died, he was in a car accident and wasn't found for about three or four days. It was awful, he had a hard life and was finally getting his ducks in a row. It was determined he died on my grandpas' birthday, it gutted us. after the viewing we went to the cemetery and his plot was flooded and we had to wait for hours for people to show up and drain it. The whole experience was a nightmare.
I think this video shows there is a difference between decomposition and a person dying with a physical reason to not look "themselves". I have seen posts from people who think this type of restoration would help when an elderly person has died after months or years of being in a state that has virtually altered their physical being. My father spent the last month or so of his life with his mouth literally open all the time. He was not able to keep it shut, for whatever reason - he was simply slowly dying of pulmonary and heart issues. When he passed, they tried to shut his mouth at the assisted living facility, but couldn't. The funeral home did their best, but in the end, apparently had to jam his lower jaw up to get it closed. That completely altered his face and he did not look anything like himself. I insisted to my mother and brother we have a closed casket and a nice photo. Sometimes we do have to deal with the reality of death - but it is nice that if it is possible, to make good things happen.
Thank-you Caitlin. I've learned alot listening to your videos. Mom died last month at age 91. It was expected. Before for she past we were able to work with the funeral home that we would keep mom at home to wash her dress her and to have her viewing at our house before the funeral home picked her up. It was so peaceful and meaningful to us as a family. We were able to have a beautiful graveside service two weeks later without embalming her. We would not known that this was even possible if it were not for your "Ask A Mortician ". We are deeply grateful. Sidenote. I was able to do her casket spray which gave me such peace and joy to do that for my mom.
My mother lay on heated carpet for 2 days. Her hairdresser offered to do her hair and I immediately remember the funeral director saying no and there would be a closed casket. I didn’t argue. Mum took such pride in her appearance. It was so sad she was found like that.
My sister did two and before she killed herself she was dressed to the nines and she wasn't found for almost eight days and a Hothouse it was terrible but thankfully we had a person like Monica that was able to make her look just like she didn't and was able to use something to make her smell like her favorite perfume I am really sorry you had such a terrible experience
My grandma was the same, lol! Such a diva. She told me: when I die, just throw me to the casket and closet fully. I dont want anyone to see me! So well, I told the nurse just put her favorite outfit (a red dress of course, and her red lipstick), and thats all!
@@beckyanderson988 I know it’s been 8 months ago(since your comment) but I just came across this site for 1st time and I am so sorry about your sister 🛐 but that’s wonderful that they were about to do that. I know that had to meant the world to you 💜.
My mother was a Hairdresser, she did several of her client's hair when they passed. I didn't ask, and she didn't say.I was pretty young, and easily frightened, so, it was probably for the best.
I really appreciate Ms. Doughty’s will to earnestly cover related topics that may be at odds with; or at least superficially complicate her own views. She doesn’t feign some higher objectivity, she listens without animus and speaks directly to her biases; an authentic sincerity that’s seems almost foreign in this era of absolution seemingly bereft of nuance or compromise .
They really are I've always been interested in this type of work im a cosmetologist I've style one of my clients hair after her death. Was a lil nervous took another stylist with me. However I would be terrified of maggots. Seriously
I want to say, thank you for doing this channel and type of "taboo talk" in such a out there but understandable and sensitive way. My mother passed away this October, and these videos not only helped me understand the necessary schedule and things to have done from freezer to burial; but also helped me understand what I needed to do her restorative makeup before the viewing. I am not a professional funeral home makeup artist, so more "in depth" restoration had to be done by them, but this channel helped me understand what to do essentially. She had as green of a burial as she could, if there's a plus in any of this. Her coffin was a weak wood and she wasn't embalmed, so she will return to the earth soon. Thank you, Caitlyn.
Hi! You probably won't see this, but my grandmother died last week, and your videos helped me a lot. (I probably couldn't have gone to her funeral if not for your videos.) So, thank you.
I'm a wound care nurse, we see a lot of maggots on necrotic tissue and we've even seen them crawling out of the room into the hallway lol. And I agree, there is no smell comparable to decomposing tissue.
@@amandalogan89 We have the maggots in little bags that look like tea bags, which we place on top of the wound, so they're all contained in the bag. Also a reason why I don't drink tea anymore.
I had a friend who lived in an assisted living home. She died in the home, and they didn't find her for two weeks (which, if you put a loved one in an assisted living home, I'd be specific on how often they check on their residents). We cleaned her room, and it was....pungent. The thing for me was that most of the people---family members--were so disrespectful. I felt awful that her family was so jerky about her death, as if she'd inconvenienced them...I felt so awful for her, but I also felt awful for the first responders and "crime scene" cleaners who had to clean the apartment. We showed up a couple of days after they'd done their work, and I still smelled corpse for three days after I helped clean the apartment of her belongings. I was only glad that she died relaxed, doing what she wanted, and was--I assume--happy.
That facility could--and should--lose their license and undergo a total inspection of their policies and procedures. They would be put on probation by the state inspectors on an even more frequent schedule than state requirements. It is required by Medicare, Medicaid, private insurance providers, and agency insurance that resident status be documented at least every 24 hours for assisted living. In most facilities the resident records their status by sliding a device on their mailbox near the entrance from left to right by a specific deadline every day. If they have mobility issues and receive meals in their room/apartment, the person who delivers their meals or a nurse will document their status. In all honesty, that was grounds for the family to pursue litigation and file a complaint with the state licensing agency, the Division of Health Service Regulation. That is why every individual in assisted living and skilled care should have family members or a designated friend/patient advocate checking in on them on a regular basis.
I always reverence the dead as if they can hear everything we say. I believe they do. For people to be disrespectful of the dead is both immature and classless. Shame on them.
It’s often very spiritual people who go into the funeral industry. I took a class in college about the sociology of death and you might be surprised to know that most morticians go into mortuary science because they’ve had GOOD experiences with death and want to help others have similar experiences rather than having traumatic experiences with death
I’m going to enter the field because I want to help people and tend to be very neutral about my opinions of people’s lives if they’re hurt or dead. I also want to help change the industry by having fewer embalmings and more natural burials, composting, etc
The little town I lived in when I was 16 in the 1960’s there was a funeral director who was an artist. A local man had drove his corvette up under a semi. He was torn up bad. The family insisted on open casket. The funeral director had gone to a class on restoration. It was late at night when he got the body. He woke up the local beautician and together they sorted through hair cut that day, he then went to work. The guy in the casket looked like himself. The director did have to tilt the head slightly and play with the lighting some but like I said the director was an artist, hair,, some sort of modeling clays glue and makeup and 12 hours work
When my best friend passed away in England, her funeral had to be delayed a week to allow family members to get over there. Every day during this delay, her 13 year old daughter would go in and touch up her makeup prior to the next person viewing her. Wow, I don’t think I could touch a dead body at 55, let alone 13 - and my mother...
I very recently had my mom pass away and it was an incredibly cathartic and peaceful experience sitting with her body after she passed away, stroking her hands, and I'm barely 30. I think no one (fortunately) can understand how comforting it can be to be able to hold your loved one's body until it actually happens.
I did my Mom up too. She died accidentally and it was a few days before she was found.The funeral home told us that she shouldn't have open casket but my sister wanted it, and I told them to let me try.It was a few more days til the funeral too, and I went in every day, sometimes twice a day and retouched her makeup.She looked good still but it was a lot of work. I did the same for my dad, brother inlaw and a friend too. I've seen such terrible makeup jobs done in funeral homes, that I'd rather do it myself and try to make everyone happy since this is the last image we will ever have of our loved one.
I worked for a funeral home in a large metropolitan area for six years. We never tried to restore decomposed bodies, I had never heard of that at the time. Plus we were always so busy there was no time for it. It was like an assembly line where I worked. The smell of a decomposing body is unlike anything else in this world, including an animal. There's just no way to describe it. The smell seems to stick to your clothes and everything. It's a smell I'll never forget. It's amazing at how fast it occurs too. A body lying for just a few hours in an un-air conditioned house is enough in some cases to make decomposition occur rapidly.
My brother drowned on a Saturday but wasn't found until the following Wednesday....in a creek in the middle of town... My oldest brother wanted to view him but luckily the funeral director talked him out of it. He was very polite and "gentle' about it and thank goodness my brother didn't insist.
@@foxja1 I'm sorry, I've never heard of Riverdale. I'm assuming it's a movie or tv series. The last time he was seen was the Saturday before he was found, near the creek where he fell in...we have our doubts. This creek was on the east end of town in a populated area but the creek has high grass grown around it. I'm rambling now. lol This happened in Skiatook, OK in 2005.
@@CannelleInOK I’m so so sorry then, I don’t doubt your story, it just sounded very similar to a plot line so I wondered if you’d ever heard of it, a very sad coincidence. I’m sorry again rip
My dad died due to a medical condition alone on his dorm room(he was going back to college) I don’t remember how many days he was there alone but I think is was more than one. We were able to have an open casket. He looked a little darker than I remember. He look like he was sleeping. I imagine that he had to have some level of “ extreme emboling” to look presentable to us, the family. They did a great job even I could only handle looking at him for a few seconds. I wish I could have handle looking at him longer. Thank you all for letting lost loved one get to be seen by remaining family as much as possible.
My Grandma passed away 2 years ago. I remember we got the call to drive to her house quick as we knew she was close to passing (she was diagnosed w/ cancer 3 weeks before). My family kept telling her to wait til my Mum and I got there to say goodbye. We got there and within 3-5 minutes she was gone. Afterwards my family kissed her and said their goodbyes and sat in the lounge room til the coroners picked her up. I couldn’t leave her side knowing I’d never see her again, I held her hand and must’ve stayed with her for 2 hrs til they picked up her body. I remember seeing how much she changed in such little time. She was 77 and had been a smoker since a teenager, so she was heavily wrinkled. Within the hour of passing her wrinkles had gone, looking more youthful. Death, so devastating yet mesmerising.
It’s so amazing just how far we have come! I remember my mom telling of how one of her cousins died after the car he was riding in was hit by a train. My mom was born in 1932 so it would have been the early 1900’s when her cousin was killed. The mortician tried his best to talk my mom’s aunt out of trying to have an open casket. Apparently there was not much left of his head. But my mom’s aunt wasn’t able to accept that her son was gone or that he was in no condition to be seen. She insisted on an open casket. The mortician had to construct a paper mache head and then they draped the casket with some thick black gauze. I’m so grateful that there are people who have the heart to work with the deceased. Thank you to each of you.
I'll never forget one of my professors referring to an open-casket funeral as a "corpse parade" in rebuttal to a student who was appalled with traditional Hindu funeral practices.
Well, that “corpse parade” is helpful to the families involved. My boss committed suicide and his family whisked him off to another state. I had a hard time accepting that he was dead. I finally decided that I NEED to see a body and funeral for acceptance and to begin the healing.
I love the way Monica explains things and presents things. She always makes a point to look into the camera. She seems like she’s made for making videos and doing speeches.
I would love to thank Monica Torres and those in her field for doing all they can to restore our loved ones so that we may give them a proper farewell. My cousin had committed suicide and he was not found for over a week. I cannot imagine the difficulty it took to make him appear as if he were peacefully sleeping at his funeral. I was eternally grateful as I had been bracing myself to see something out of night of the living dead. I miss him everyday and I would like to thank the kind and gracious ppl who were able to do this for us.
My best friend at age 14, of 9 years died of ovarian cancer. Closed casket wake. I'm now a month away from 43, and I still have PTSD from her loss and the inability to see her. Thank you for making this video, Caitlin. It helps considerably.
I can't understand why people go through this funeral stuff all the time when they could be cremated the funeral business is so disgusting it makes you want to throw up just thinking about it I would prefer to be cremated over anything
@@robertwindedahl4919 You can be preserved/present at a viewing and then cremated. That was done for several of my family members. Funerals are for the living. They are a chance to see the body, recognize the loss is real and permanent, and say good-bye. After that viewing, cremation is absolutely an option. Please do not judge others for the grief-related traditions that allow for processing and healing.
One of my best friends passed away a few years ago, and he wasn’t found for quite some time. The funeral home did a horrible job at restoring him for the viewing. I will never get his final image out of my mind. I had no idea this even existed.
I love you, Caitlin! I read "Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs" (and of course all of your books) and had a very honest conversation with my daughter about death and was able to answer all of her questions. Thank you for that!
My son recently lost both an uncle and his grandpa on his dad's side within a month of each other. I felt like that book gave me some useful information that helped me help him through it. Caitlin is wonderful!
@@darrenp428 I borrowed the e-reader version from my local library! You could check it out that way & see if it's something you'd be interested in reading fully.
My son died the day the covid lockdown started. He was a few weeks away from his 17th birthday. She's right when she said that for a while there were no viewings there were no funerals happening, she's right. I couldn't have a memorial. That was one of the worst things about it. People need that, to say goodbye. For closure. It was a nightmare within a nightmare.
I'm sorry for the loss of your son and I'm sorry you had to deal with isolation and grief at the same time. It couldn't have been easy but I hope you have found some peace now.
@@charlottepayne1918 thank you for your thoughtful reply! I have had a lot of cruel things said to me here on TH-cam in regards to things I have said about seeing my son again & it has been hard. But, replies like yours make me feel a lot better. Thank you again.
A little story time about skin slip: I had a full term stillborn baby during a c section. When he was presented to me when I woke up, he was swaddled. He had probably already died a few days prior to the c section so he may have had some decomposition. All I saw was his beautiful face and gorgeous head full of jet black hair.
At his funeral, the director asked us for a blanket. He said the baby’s hands didn’t look good. When we gave him the blanket he literally ran up the aisle to tuck the baby in to his casket before we could approach and see him.
When I got to him, I realized that I had never seen his hands. Maybe there’s something internal that makes a mother inspect her baby’s hands and feet to count the fingers and toes, I don’t know. But it was important to me that I see his hands. So I uncovered him and saw the sweetest tiny fingers, his perfect little fingernails.
He had some of that skin slip you talked about, the skin was peeling and different colors but it was my baby’s hands, and that’s all I cared about.
He would have been 20 this month.
Dolores Rogers-Gonzalez 😢😞
Happy Birthday little baby ❤️❤️❤️ I'm sorry for your loss...I know he would've been a bright, strong young man.
fly high baby ❤️
Sorry for your loss💔👼RIP baby boy
What a horrible thing to be experienced in. 😥 I wish you the very best.
My grandpapa died three weeks ago. I miss him like crazy and am still mourning. But while preparing for the viewing I went and told the funeral director I wanted to help prepare him. I was able to shave him and fix his hair the way he always liked it. While doing that I spoke to him and sang his favorite church songs to him. It gave me a bit of peace to know that was able to do that one last thing for him. So thank you Caitlin there's no way I'd have felt comfortable enough to do that let alone ask to do it before I began following your channel. ♡
**edit** Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who left comments. I read them and although they made me cry I do so very much appreciate them. ♡
I almost cried reading this, I'm sorry for your loss 💜
I felt a deep sadness when reading comments 😭
I'm sorry for your loss, rest in the fact your grandpapa loved you..be safe
Well of course,sorry for the loss of your grandpapa. But I don't feel sad about your story,I feel the love you have for him,and the comfort you got helping to make him look his best! I'm glad you felt strong enough to do this for him! Bless you!
He ain't never gonna be gone while you hold him in your heart! Stay safe and healthy.
Wow, very beautiful story. Thank you for sharing ❤️
My cousin and childhood best friend died a few weeks ago. He passed away in a horrific car accident. He went over the bridge and into the river and was there for two days before we found him. He had an autopsy done before the funeral. The morticians did a fantastic job on him. Despite being crushed in a high speed car accident, being dead in the water for two days, and having an autopsy done, he looked perfect. These people are angels
*angels
I'm so sorry for your loss and the circumstances.
I am so sorry for your losses. 🥺 Thats terrible & my heart is with you. ❣️ They’re always with you. ❣️
Hope u are getting support through your loss .May he rest in peace.
I’m so sorry for your loss
I would call them angel artisans. I lost a good friend to murder. She was 24, she was murdered by her husband. I was quite fearful of the viewing/wake. She looked so very beautiful, like a sleeping angel, and not at all like my awful expectations. God bless everyone in this occupation. You are appreciated beyond measure.
PRAYERS AND GRATITUDE TO GOD
I am so sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace ❤️
She had the sun and the moon her favor. My the angels above look after her and you
May your friend Rest In Peace ❤
I had a friend die to Domestic Violence last year at the hands of her 2nd baby daddy. They were arguing in the bedroom and he pulled up his gun and shot her in front of her 4 oldest girls and called it in as a suicide so I feel your pain of using a friend 💔💔💔
One of the things that I love about this channel is how human is. We're talking about dead bodies, decomposing bodies, but it never loses the humanity... She knows that the body in front of her was someone's family and treats it with so much respect.
Also how she takes care of the viewers too putting the warnings before the triggers. I'm learning about something like this without risks of accidental trauma.
Excellent work!
Well if theres one thing we are all definitely going to do its die. Idk why ppl act like it doesn't exist when its inevitable for all of us. Its the only thing 100% of us have in common, whats more human than death?? If modern society would stop acting like its a 4 letter word no one should think about we would be able to handle it better. We are basically breeding depression and encouraging it 😕cuz most ppl have absolutely no idea how to properly grieve. In cultures that embrace death grieve better/healthier
I was about to leave a “thank you” to Caitlin for warning her viewers (in this particular case ME) but you did a much better job!! Sooooo I guess I should be thanking you!!! You said it so much better than I could’ve as well!!
That’s why I love Caitlin 👍😊
Yes , well said... I have never laughed listening to people talking about maggots before... lol
I made it 666 likes. >w
LOL all the MLM huns are catering to the wrong audience, they need to start advertising their essential oils to funeral homes!
That's exactly what I thought of 🤣🤣
Makes sense for pyramid schemes to target the funeral industry, since pyramids were basically just large graves.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hi, I was wondering if you'd be interested in an opportunity I have for you? It's great, you just buy all of these scented oils from me and use them and if you like them you can try to sell some to someone else to make the money back that you already spent buying them.
Sounds great, doesn't it? I'll put you down for 10 boxes.
Omg yes 😂😂😂
The diamonds on Monica’s lashes.... iconic
Oooo I thought it was gold leaf
They are amazing!
I was wondering what that was, thank you.
I was trying to figure out what that was, at 1st I thought she didn't get close enough to her lash line with her eyeliner 😆
I love it, her and Caitlin are so pretty.
When my mom was diagnosed with AML, she was given 7 wks to live. She said she was grateful to be able to pick out her own casket, flowers, and other funeral arrangements. One thing she also did, was to ask me to do her makeup. Now I know my experience isn’t about a severely decomposed body, but when my mom died, I felt that it was an honor to do this final thing for her…to prepare her hair and to put her makeup on. This was a very interesting video! Thanks for putting this out there…you ladies are awesome!
I was honored to do my deceased client's hair after her death. She passed away from cancer she knew she was leaving. But when I met her her hair was about a cpl inches long. Her hair grew back so pretty after chemo she loved me always faithful with her hair appointments. No one would touch her hair except for me. After her death I knew that she wanted me to do her. So this day her husband walked into the salon I knew exactly why he was there. Later after the service was over I spoke to him and he mentioned how those curls in her hair wouldn't go anywhere. He said they tried to comb her beautiful hair but those curls was locked in. Mrs Annie Rogers RIP beautiful lady.
A VERY loving way to honor your mom.
What else did you do for this "clients" husband? I'll bet you really helped him thru the mourning process. Lol
@@coyleigh6902 THAT IS THE RUDEST MOST DISGUSTING THING FOR YOU TO SAY!!!! YOU HAVE A DARK COLD HEART!!!
Coy Leigh , you are a very rude and disgusting person!! How dare you!!
My uncle had oral cancer and the embalmer restored his face, allowing him to look as he did before he was sick. What they do for families is fantastic work.
while my father was dying from alzheimer's, his prostate cancer accelerated things, and it was shocking what his 300lb gorilla frame looked like at about 80lbs. but he was clean, shaved, and looked really well in spite of it. and i had the decency to tell the home's people that. the relief and thanks on their faces was hard to describe. your talents don't go unappreciated, all.
I think my mother has always told the people what good jobs they did. Altho when my sisters and I were kids we were rough with our criticism at my grandmothers funeral. It was over 25 yrs ago so techniques have changed.
@WARLORD INFERNAL Judge much? Who the F*ck are you to tell others how to react after a family member dies? Whether Yesterday or 50 yrs ago,let ppl mourn/reminisce HOW THEY WILL. GEEEZUZ
@WARLORD INFERNAL The restoration of the mourned is not for "pretty looks", as you infer, but from respect for who the living person had known himself to be. The mourning want to respect the memories of the deceased, not only how the person was perceived in pristine structure.
My high school girlfriend had one mission in life, to become a Mortician. She was fascinated by every facet of the work, and so genuinely caring of the decedent. She passed away from a malignant brain tumor in her first year of Uni (we all knew it was coming and just continued life with her until she couldn't). She never got to realize her dream, your channel/work, makes me remember her so fondly. She would have LOVED your channel and would instantly have wanted to friends with you, she had a passion for this in much the way you seem to and I have a feeling she would've become a professional much like yourself, educating and sharing with everyone in an interesting way. Fascinating content, thank you.
She sounds like an amazing woman. Sorry for your loss. It's lovely you stay connected to her passions and remember her. ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss my friend 🌹
im sorry for your loss. this is a beautiful comment, you will be in my thoughts
I just wanted to reply to my own original comment, to say THANK YOU! For those of you that commented so kindly, please know your words actually touched me through the big, cold internet and made me smile. Marie would have smacked me and said "quit being a sappy nerd" lol. Also, thank you for the "likes" I think this is the most liked comment I've ever posted anywhere, and that's amazing. @caitlin doughty - you should feel so proud, you have a really great community of folks that follow your channel.
@@HaileyDAlessio thank you, very much. I'm touched that you took the time to read it and reply, it made me smile.
This is definitely NOT a dark art, but a gift to the grieving.
It's not really a gift but I get what ur saying. They charge for every lil thing.
@@kristencalifra6421Not all gifts are free. These people need to make a living, too.
@@kristencalifra6421 it is a gift imo. They are helping the grieving by making sure their loved ones look their very best before they will be buried, never to be seen again. It’s an art form really because it takes a lot to sculpt a body that has been deceased/decomposed. Everyone has to be make money to live so I wouldn’t fault them for charging since we need money to survive in this world. I definitely think it is a dark art since I’d imagine I’d get depressing at times especially when you learn about how the person died.
@@kristencalifra6421 What is wrong with being paid for top services? They have spent years developing their craft and deserve to be rewarded?
@@kristencalifra6421 it’s a gift because they have to see what you don’t.
When my grandfather died, he hadn't looked like himself in months, so we initially decided on a closed casket. Many thanks to the embalmer who, like Monica, told us they could restore him and then let us make our final decision, because he actually looked healthier at his wake than he had in years!
Yes, we had a similar situation with my mom. She actually looked more like herself at her viewing than she had for months.
My dad was so swollen, he looked skinny at his funeral. He would have been pleased.
I wish we had of gotten a “Hardcore Embalmer” to work on my grandfather when he passed, he hadn’t looked like himself in months before he died and he looked so much worse when he was dead, I’ve always thought the “dead old person” look was an exaggeration... nope, not in the slightest
My grandfather had Parkinsons so for the last 10 years of his life he was all stressed looking because his muscles were full of rigidity. At his viewing/funeral he was finally relaxed and I got to mourn the grandpa I had been missing for the previous 10 years.
I love being able to do this sort of thing for my families. Nothing more rewarding in my career!
If my body is decomposed enough to have maggots inside, bury me as quickly as possible in a closed decomposable coffin. You have permission to sing "the worms crawl in, the world's crawl out, the worms play pinochle on her snout." When drinking after the funeral.
I really want people to play "Another One Bites the Dust" and "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" and other stuff when I die.
I want “Dead Man’s Party” and “Killed By Death” at my funeral.
Says a lot for cremation.
Yeah I'd rather not risk traumatizing my family with a bad image of me stuck in their head, just cremate me or hold a closed casket.
I think I love you. I legit lol'd. And I might swipe the idea.
"Giving people options is giving people power." This is a lovely sentiment Caitlin and Monica. Thank you both!
@Andro mache I believe since this episode is about severely decomposed bodies, that wouldn't be an at home thing. I think unfortunately too many people are too weird that at home preparation won't be possible. Unless you can get your religion recognized by the government. Then you might have a chance.
@Andro mache I don't understand your unnecessary rudeness. You watched the video, yes? You know they are discussing working with people who have been exposed to the elements, possibly found after days, and are often too hard of a case for licensed embalmers to assist with? If you watched ANY of Caitlin's videos you'd know she advocates for natural as possible burials and home funerals. Monica is skilled in "hard cases" and is educating us and Caitlin on what work is done to help care for these people. And to help their families process a potentially traumatic death and get the option to say goodbye and see their loved one, even with advanced stages of decomposition, without traumatizing the family further.
c video Agreed. 👍💜💯
The discoloration is so true. My dad had been brought straight from death to the funeral home. The mortician asked if we wanted to see my dad before he had any makeup on after being embalmed. He was all purple and green. Something I wasn’t prepared for. Thank you for your channel. It has helped me gain some closure and awareness on my father’s death. I’m not afraid to think of death anymore
You don't even need to be in a state of active decomposition to change colour either. My neighbour had a heart attack on her doorstep and the paramedics worked on her for about an hour trying to bring her back, which she obviously wasn't going to, and sometimes it feels a bit performative, but her family were all crowded round watching in horror so I can understand why they "put on a show" so to speak. But the whole time, she was a deep blurple shade, almost like the cartoon holding your breath kind of colour. I suppose it was something to do with how she died, the heart involvement, and then the resuscitation attempts, but it was such a distinct and rich colour. Horrible. I think most people think death is like you see on TV and in movies, peaceful and quiet and like going to sleep, so it can be quite shocking when they see someone dead in real life. Luckily, like anything traumatising you experience, you may remember details as clearly as it happened yesterday, but there's almost a disconnect, as if it happened to someone else or you're telling a story, just a wall between you as you are now and who you were in that moment. Brains are cool that way, protecting us from being unable to carry on.
@@mydogeatspuke😮uh in the 6gcxe5😮by mm
I'd be really interested to know how embalmers and morticians manage their mental health, when dealing with such traumatic cases.
I'm interested to know how they keep their lunches down. The smell is what's stopping me from going to mortician school. The bodies I could handle, I think, but the smell... no way, I'm a barfer.
Kimberly Holland what do they smell like?
sugar squad when my step dad passed he couldn’t be embalmed due to cirrhosis and we waited a week for family to come from overseas for the funeral. Immediate family only were allowed to view the body because of the condition. It’s an unmistakable smell, rotting meat plus a sickly sweet smell mixed together 🤢🤢
Jess do you know why the cirrhosis prevented him from being embalmed? Haven’t heard of that, I’m curious
Kimberly Holland same. That and I like rice so not sure about the maggots.
Shoutout to the camera person. They're doing their best to keep both women in frame and I see those efforts 😂
I’m in a singing group with two much-shorter women, and we have to get pretty creative to not look freaky in pictures.
I noticed that effort too 😄
Needs an apple box.
C. L. That was a nice comment! 💜👍
I used to have a fear of dead bodies. My best friend died in the same room that I was in overnight, the next morning blood had poured from his mouth and pooled on the pillow. Stiff as a board in the rigimortis stage, the blood had pooled under and settled very visibly. He was a statue almost when the authorities had come and carried him off. Watching your channel gives me a different point of view and kills that fear.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must been hard for you :(
I'm just curious, but how did your friend die?
@@WhySoPrettyJinsoul. anyurism in his sleep
I’m sorry for your loss.
Your best friend died in his sleep in the same room you did overnight?
@@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967 Yes he did. We were roommates.
One thing struck me so hard when watching this video: love. Subjects like this are so often labeled as grim or macabre. But at the heart of it is love, and a desire to help the bereaved through something profound.
That's why this channel is so important. It really helps you see death and the whole process as just a natural, normal thing that can be quite the show.
Ty
Just wanted to say thank you Caitlin.
My Grandmother passed away at home during this epidemic.
I was able to tell my father it was ok for us to wait until he was ready for her to be taken away. I was able to close her mouth, fold her arms, keep her cold, and arranged her cremation.
At a time when we are all feeling so powerless, it made all the difference to be armed with all this knowledge and empowerment. Thank you.
Xoxoxoxo
I'm sorry for your loss. You did a beautiful thing for your dad.
I’m also sorry for your loss Emily. I just wanted to say that you did a nice thing for your father and you also thanked Caitlin for her interesting and educational information, which was very appropriate and I appreciate that. My son passed away at home and I was able to see him before they took him away, which means more now than I expected it would. Family members having the ability to decide to do what they want in difficult times like this is a gift that will be appreciated for a long time. Everybody’s different in how they grieve and want to remember their loved ones. Your comment stood out for me and I had to put in my two cents. Take care.
Violet04 Nunya I’m sorry for your loss as well! I cannot imagine losing a child. At least they r in a better place now. Take care & God bless! 💜🙏
My grandfather died across the world this week, and I can't go to the funeral or really be involved. Still, your videos have still helped me deal with his death, somewhat. Thanks Caitlin.
Love to you & your family💕
Deepest sympathies.
My Condolences
Sorry for you loss. My papa was unable to attend his mama's funeral 13 years ago as he had just moved from the UK to the states. There is some law stating if you leave the country while waiting for a green card or citizenship you can't go back. Our family knew that nain would understand. It was difficult for papa but that's the way it was. I hope you are able to get through this. Sending love to you and your family.
My grandad died a couple of weeks ago, not directly from covid, but not being allowed visitors in the nursing home probably had to do with it. His kids got to see him so my dad sent me a picture which I value highly.
Then direct cremation. We will hold a small service in the beginning of July witch I can attend to.
My big brother passed away about 3 months ago due to heart failure. He was in his truck and we couldn’t find him for a day, and the officers wouldn’t let us see him, saying he didn’t looks good due to the position he was in. We wanted to see him, just to help your brain understand that they are actually gone. The funeral director told us right before that for whatever reason, he turned really red that day. (I think he was embarrassed even in death) and the director even said he had no idea why. But he warned us that we would see makeup on him, that they had to use makeup darker than his natural color to offset the red. I was petrified to see him. When we did see him, it was like he was sleeping. So peaceful, and in life he always looked a little angry sleeping because of his brow shape. We got to see him one last time and the director really made sure he looked like… well, him.
He turned really red because of carbon monoxide poisoning.
Bless this woman. I have a high tolerance for decomposition, infestation, and stench, but dealing with a human body in that condition would be another thing entirely.
Wow. This comment was posted 54 mins. ago and there's 54 likes. sorry, nerd/OCD comment. plz continue..
Same, I have a sometimes-smelly compost pile and I'm not terribly bothered by roadkill when I see it, but rotting human bodies? Nah
Blood and gore? All that stuff is chill, It doesn’t bother me at all. But ppl decomposition? Nahhhhh . Also I’m stupid I clicked this while eating a sandwich hopefully I’ll be fine
Moebym I wonder the same thing. I definitely think it takes time! I read Caitlin’s first book “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes”, and she talks at length about how hard it was for her when she 1st began working at a crematory. I highly recommend checking it out, if you haven’t already. But I also think it takes a certain kind of person to do what Caitlin and others in the “death fields” (coroners, crime scene investigators, crime scene cleaners, etc) do every day. I don’t mean it’s about being a strong or weak person-I can’t put it into words. 🤷🏻♀️
Same. I'm usually fine with all the content here, but this one is making me way more squeamish than usual.
Maggots; that is a huge nono for me it seems. I did not know how much that would affect me & I feel like I learned about myself today.
My great grandmother died yesterday, she was 93 and a force to be reckoned with. For the first time, I didn't cry when someone died. Throughout our visits south she would always say "im going home" and even showed me the clothing she wants to be buried with and the plot next to her husband, none of my other relatives have ever talked about themselves dying, and her positivity about it gave me so much peace. Watching your videos has helped me to really appreciate death and become more comfortable with it and I am so grateful
I’m very sorry for your loss.
💚 you are lucky to know such a woman and be related
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad to hear that you got to know such a strong and wise human. I hope I can be like her. Thank you for sharing a bit a about her with us ❤️
I was 18 when I lost a classmate to a railway accident. The entire class went to his funeral and I was really worried about seeing him, since the accident was extremely gruesome. They had him in a casket but he was wrapped in a white cloth from head to toe. I really appreciate professionals that put in so much effort to help us remember our dead loved ones the way they used to be .
was it a thick cloth...were u guys allowed to touch him or talk to him a final time
I had a good friend in jr high who got in a train accident. Besides my own family that was one of the saddest things I've ever been through.
@@TommyRou it was a thick cloth. Unfortunately we didn't get to talk to him or touch him one last time. He was an only child and his family was absolutely heartbroken so we just stood there, looked at him once and offered our condolences to his dad.
@@SingerCommaMarla I'm sorry you had to go through that. Coming to terms with death at such a young age must've been painful, hope you're better now ❤️
Lacian McArthur Do people like to touch dead bodies? Also, do they think talking to the dead body is real?
I'm a former funeral director and grew up in a funeral home... my brother is still in the business. I only remember one or two people that we couldn't prepare for an open casket service.
One was an unfortunate elderly lady that had been deceased for at least two weeks before she was found. There was nothing we could do.
The other was an older guy who passed away in his garage workshop. Next to a space heater. With his three cats in there with him. Nothing we could do.
I had a friend killed in a car accident, she was partially ejected and the car rolled over onto her head, you can imagine the result. My good friend who is also a funeral director in the same town was able to completely reconstruct her whole head perfectly, with just a few pictures of her. It was absolutely amazing, and gave the family as good of a last memory of her as possible.
A friend of mine's downstairs neighbour died leaning against a radiator. She and her nearly-dead starving dog were found 2 or 3 weeks later, and she'd basically... melted onto the radiator. Really sad and really gross. Policemen and funeral home people puking like mad in the garden. I wonder what could have been done for her with this sort of embalming. (My friends took in the dog and she made a full recovery and to this day is still loved like crazy)
Don't let the dog lick your face
Dear Sarah Dawn ~ Thank You SO Much For The Update On The Puppy!!
At that point, I'd go with a closed casket, cremation, or a wax figure.
Good god....that sounds terrible. At that point, just cremate I'd say. Sounds like there's nothing to preserve at that point.
That poor dog.
As a first responder whose found quite a few decomposed loved ones, it really reassures me that there are people who are able to help these families. Thank you so much for putting out a video that highlights these services.
My sister was in the sun for a whole hot summer week and they could not do this for her. Honestly the throat area rung memory bells.
But I believe the family can choose if they want and can afford it. But in my cultural funerary case (Tangi. Where you have an open coffin for three days) she was sealed tightly in a bag to stop...smells. And it was a closed coffin obviously. As much as I wanted to see her again, I don't think she would appreciate being seen like that haha.
And don't worry, it doesn't affect me any more. Death is a natural part of life and I'm thankful to be raised in a culture where death isn't the end all but a celebration of their life. So I'm super happy more 'deathlings' are becoming aware its not scary!
They cremated my friend who went missing for 3 months in the summer
Thankyou for sharing. Sorry for your loss but it sounds like you have a healthy & positive attitude about it.
fellow kiwi here, sending much love and aroha for you and your loved one. this channel is so important to have a positive death experiences whether it's coping, or organising a will etc
Thank you for sharing! More people need to have this perspective on death!
Another Kiwi here! Great to see a couple on Caitlin's channel. I'm Pakeha, but tangi make so much sense to me. When a Maori friend of mine died, it was just lovely to be able to see her (even though they put some weird glitterly makeup on her and she never wore makeup), have a chat, mingle with others, and grieve openly if that's what you needed to do. Pakeha funerals are so cold.
My father was a police officer and diver. He was on the Scuba recovery team. He had to search under water in dark, murky, Florida swamp water for bodies. Which meant he often didn't find a submerged body until running in to it face to face underwater with a flashlight. I remember one time he was dragging a bloated body out of water next to a chemical plant, and the arms came out of the sockets and ripped off when the body snagged in the brush. It was so rotten and soft.
Floaters or bodies under water have the worst decomp odor
Wow, your dad is a hero. It takes a lot of courage to do that sort of work. May I ask if he ever had PTSD or anything from seeing such extreme things?
I hate to say that "I was literally thinking about this yesterday". However, there is a story here in Massachusetts about an older gentleman (62) who went missing from a homeless veterans shelter in the suburbs five weeks ago being found. He hadn't wandered off into the woods or fallen into a nearby swamp, rather, he was found in a stairwell in a large building right on the premises of the Bedford VA hospital from which he was missing. No one had simply used that stairwell in five weeks until yesterday morning when some unfortunate schmuck decided not to take the elevator, and was unlucky enough to make the discovery.
That poor, poor man... what a terrible way to die. And what a humongous failure for the shelter!
Yikes! That's awful. I live in Mass and didn't hear about this at all.
Like where's the cameras? That is so sad! 😥 poor old man!
@@brittsfromthebong968 Literally, where are the cameras??? What a lawsuit waiting to happen...
The almost exact same thing happened here a few years ago. I *think* they found him on a golf course.
Caitlin, my wife and I just read your first book and it provides an excellent backstory that makes us appreciate you more. I have a condition for which studies have shown that about half the people die within 5 years. I’m at year 3 and we’ve already met with the funeral home regarding arrangements. The knowledge you’ve provided has been an immense help. Hope to be in the surviving half but we’re prepared in case I’m not.
Good luck bro! :)
Good luck!
Good on you for making preparations, that will be a great help for your loved ones when your time comes. I hope you will experience lots of peace and joy throughout the years ahead, no matter how many or few they might be.
I admire your bravery and wish you the best
I wish you the best to you and your loved ones ❤️
When I die, I want my funeral director to have diamonds on their eyelashes.
Omg I’m so glad you said that because for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what the hell was on her eye! I thought it was a cyst!!!!!
It was driving me nuts! Didn’t look like diamonds to me!
Michael Phillips me too ! It was driving me crazy trying to figure out what it was
I was wondering that too! They looked like hearts! I want some!!! And I have so many questions about them. Haha
Or were they maggots?😑
My grandmother Rest her soul, she was old with cancer and Alzheimer’s. She was literally skin and bones! When I saw her at the funeral home I was amazed!!!!!!! It looked like my grandma in her good days again. Was something else. I almost left thinking I was at the wrong place
post-mortem injectables would make for a sick band name
*googles post-mortem injectables* it beginnns
So would hardcore embalmers tbh!
Rockem😆😆
I have dibs
Trademark that!!!
So basically Monica is an artist. A highly specialized artist.
And a scientist, chemist.
@@cyberspelunker1980 And someone who uses that talent and skill to let us say goodbye properly. Not all heroes...
Wow she sure is!
I'll never understand why they fished my cousin's body out of the bottom of the lake after 3 days of being under and gave him an *open casket* funeral, because underneath all that caked-on base makeup that was veeeeery much the wrong color (and seemingly no other attempt at makeup), he was very puffy, very blue, and somewhat decomposed... I get wanting an open casket, and honestly it fulfilled my curiosity. But it seems like a funeral director wouldn't want someone that... terrible looking going out in public like that.
Imp Again!~ Probably what the family wanted. Until they saw it.
When my grandpa died, he wasn’t decomposing or anything, but his makeup was the wrong color. My mom asked for the makeup and re did his face and hands.
Also I’m very sorry for your loss.
Former funeral director here... they did a bad job, period. It was beyond their talent to make your cousin look presentable, and they shouldn't have tried. I'm sorry your family had to see that.
@@Nothing-zw3yd Thank you. I know the family wanted an open casket, and I'm sure the funeral director did their best, but there's not a lot you can do for a body that's been under water for 3 days, and I feel like it might have traumatized more people than it brought peace to
These women are some fearless underrated angels and are a crucial part of the healing process for the loved ones.
Seeing 6 foot Caitlin next to Monica is giving me life. It's like, "So tell me what you've been up to lately, little sister!" :) They even have semi-matching tops!
I was already wondering whether Caitlin was that tall or Monica was that short
Caitlin looks like an Amazon woman in comparison, lol. Love it!
oh my god i thought monica was sitting down at first
bridget merritt-carr Same!! I never realized Caitlin is so tall!!
I was going to comment on this too... I was gonna be like "Is Monica pocket-sized?"
Im danish and we dont do open caskets. When my mother died 8 months ago, my daughter insisted puttting on nailpolish on granmother. So she went to the nursinghome where my mother still layed and gave her pretty pink nails. As she said, she had almost never seen grandmom whithout it and couldt not stand the thought of her being crematet without🙏🙏
That is very sweet. I’m glad your daughter was able to do that. I’m very sorry for your loss.
We did my great grandmas nails as she died also. It was a great way for us to all be with her and each other, and say goodbye. ❤️
Awww
I was a Little upset they spent $$$$ to bury a Friend but she had wocked hair dye roots.
Well that WAS Suzie
Oh you don't do open caskets in Denmark? I'm Swedish and we usually don't do it either, however we are allowed to if we want to. It's just not very common. Just like participating in the cremation, not very common but you are allowed to if you want.
That is too sweet, you are raising a thoughtful little women
I’m currently reading about The Radium Girls and was wondering if you could do a video about the women and their story.
I think Georgia Marie has a video on them if you're interested
I'm pretty sure she's has one on them. It has green in the title
Edit: it's called "killer green" !!
that book is INSANE and definitely covers bodily autonomy of (poor) women before and after death. Such a great read.
Answers with joe did one on them too!
Just do a TH-cam search for "Radium Girls" and you'll find a lot of information.
My stepdad was killed in a wreck in TX back in 2008. It was a tanker wreck and his face was in bad condition. I was told we couldn't have open casket to begin with. However he'd made a friend with a retired lady who reconstructed faces of the dead before she retired. She came out of retirement to fix his face. We live in NC so i flew mom home one day and him home the next. Mom wanted to see him the day he arrived so i saw him first. I was afraid he'd look bad with no makeup even after she fixed his face so i made them take me first. He looked good actually. Heavy bruising but other than that, he looked like Rocky. I was shocked at how good he looked. I never even met the lady but she became my hero that day. I don't believe she even charged us. But thanks to her, we were able to have our open casket funeral for him. I later learned through the autopsy report just how bad his face was. Completely destroyed one of his eyes and crushed part of his face. This lady who i never even met performed a miracle for free because she thought so much of him. Just shows how amazing Rocky was to have made that kind of friend. Things were so crazy then but i wish I'd have reached out to her. But she will always be in my heart. I'll never forget what she did for us.. 💞
That's so sweet!
I have a lot of respect for Monica and everyone else who does that job. That’s a very difficult job and I could never handle that kind of work. I think that is amazing that her and others in that field can give that gift to the families and the deceased.
i've had to remove dead/decaying animals, dogs, hogs, bulls. one thing that wasn't mentioned was the "care" necessary to avoid 2 or more pieces of the Deceased. of course with humans, a good suit would solve that.
As they were showing the chemicals they use I coudn't help but worry about their health when using hazardous chemicals. Even hairdressers that are exposed to toxic fumes everyday are more at risk to lung cancer and other respiratory disease.
At the beginning, you dry heave like once or twice, but then you get used to it. I'm a paramedic, I've seen it all.
The Black Baron my sister is a Mortician and she got started by going to pick up the bodies of the deceased and transporting them to the funeral home. She told me that she has taken care of quite a few deceased that were badly decomposed. She said that after doing it for so long that you get used to it that it comes with the job. She says she loves what she does. I still could never do that kind of work or be a paramedic that’s a difficult job as well.
🖤
I love how she is really not passionate about embalming yet she gives it a platform as an option and gives great depth in doing so. Gosh, I wish everyone could be as ballanced
Yes! Totally agree!!!!!
Idk putting make up on bodies doesnt really seem like a job id be passionate about either.
Embalming is so much more than just putting makeup on bodies... that's kind of the least of her concerns with it, it seems.
I love how after a dozen photos of gross pigs in various states we get a warning for a scene with a sanitized clean needle.
I used to have a fear of needles while being absolutely fine with gross stuff. The needle bit would've made me cringe so hard. Having required a lot of blood tests over the years I've overcome it (I actually find it cool watching the blood enter the tube now lol), but man, I used to hate em
Yeah, kinda tru :P But I believe that scene could be triggering for drug addicts, so it is good that she put warning anyway
I’m a vet tech and I’ve seen clients drop when the vet just pulls out a needle (silly doctors 😉). This is why I always ask if owners are okay with them, prior to bring them out in the open.
@@Leeqzombie I used to be afraid of needles, too. Especially finger pricking and small needles, for some strange reason. Safe to say I've gotten over it. I went in for a blood test recently and the nurse was like "um, you might want to look away so you don't flinch when I draw your blood", and like a total weirdo I said "no, that's ok, I like to watch".
@@AaAa-kv9fj Actually, there are lots of people who have never touched inject-able drugs a day in their lives but STILL have very severe needle phobias (myself included). Especially when watching needles be injected into what would be "sensitive" areas, like the fingers, face, or in/around wounds.
One of my best friends passed away in 2016. It was heart wrenching to say the least. She died in a high speed car accident, but the family wanted an open casket funeral. The last time I saw her, I saw no signs that she had been in a severe accident. I saw my friend and I really appreciate the work that embalmers do, even if I don't agree with the practice in most cases. There's a time and place for everything and I appreciate that her family had the resources and access to such a skilled professional to let me see my friend one last time.
See this is why I just want to be turned to ash. No crazy expensive Embalming for me! Plant a tree with my ashes and call it a day!
People are too attached to death, just accept it. It’s part of life.
I’m sad to say cremation in some places is just as expensive if not more than open casket
Being thrown in a ditch is much cheaper
Considering where I come from (South Africa) and being black there's so many cultural things we go through during the week before the funeral which is crazy expensive once you calculate the expenses. I would rather be turned into ash because It's cheap but again because of cultural things I can't
Yeah same donate my organs if possible and turn me to ash or just throw me in the ground idc lol
1. This video couldn't be more appropriate: right this morning we woke up to see police officers outside our home, turns out one of our neighbours was found today being dead for 4 weeks >_>
2. I'm not really sensitive about dead bodies (I'm usually way more queasy with the living), but I do appreciate the trigger warnings. Being polite and respectful will never go out of fashion :)
3. I'm 5.11, Death Mother can be my role model! yay!!!
I’m so sorry about your neighbor😞
“Way more queasy with the living” wow I’ve never felt anything more, if what makes you queasy is how horrible people can be. 😂 also I’m sorry about your neighbor.
I'm sorry to hear about your neighbour.
That makes me very sad for them because it means they had no one close in their lives who would have checked in on them for an entire month.
How sad that no one missed them for a month. Poor Soul.
I stayed with my dad's body for hours at the hospital after he died until the funeral home came. It was incredible how quickly he changed. My last memory of him would have been of how horrific he looked when the funeral home finally came, rather than of how much he looked like he was just my dad having a nap by the time he was prepped for viewing. Until I saw him in the casket, I had no comprehension of how important a final viewing can be for closure. I had no idea it was possible to restore some decomposed bodies to a point where that open casket can become a possibility. This is Important Work.
I love how you capitalized Important Work
My condolences
I found my dads body, he was leaned over so all the blood pooled to his face, his face was dark purple, so I get how horrific it can be.
Darkness that sounds horrible I’m so sorry
Im sorry about your dad honey, youre very strong for being there and staying with him, he would appreciate it SO much knowing you did that.. Both my parents are gone now due to addiction, but my mom was more recent it was last year that she overdosed... She was brain dead but on life support at the hospital so she wasnt decomposing yet, and i went in and wiped her whole body down gently but thoroughly with baby wipes to make her feel clean and get rid of any blood etc, and brushed her beautiful loonnngg black hair and styled it ( my hair is now down to my bum and black just like hers💕) , trimmed and painted her finger nails and toe nails ( she always had beautiful nailpolish and was known for that, but her fingers were chipped and covered in blood after the overdose and the struggle, so i couldny leave them that way. So i painted them her favorite baby blue color + mine were matching) and i put a pair of my lil earings in her ears.. Then i put a pair of my favorite, comfy jammies on her and put this beautiful, thin, soft blankey on her that my husband got me for christmas..she was SO cold... The blankey meant alot to me and was so nice and comfy, and it was my fav thing to sleep in so i wanted her to be able to "sleep" for eternity with it.. All clean, comfy, and as beautiful as she always was.. Sorry for the rant. Im still very much not over it.
My mom had a heart attack at 42 in her bed with my dad next to her . But she was still warm and had tears on her face when I seen her, it kinda looked she was sleeping but I ran and was in complete sadness to stay and wait for the coroner . I came back after like an hour after the ems were performing CPR and what she looked like after haunts me to this day . I never wanted to remember her beautiful face the way I last saw but I can’t unsee it . Her tongue was hanging out her mouth and she was cold as Ice.😣🥺 these people are brave as heck to do this type of work and still be capable of having a decent night of sleep .
My condolences for your loss 💕
I'm so sorry you had to lose your mama so young. (((Hug)))
Not sure why YT suggested this for me.... but I haven’t left yet 🤷🏾♀️
Welcome, potentially new deathling. 😁
Girl same 🤣🤣 first thing suggested when I opened YT
Why am I here and why haven’t I left yet
Same!! Have no idea why TH-cam suggested this video but I found it so so interesting! I'll loose the next couple of hours watching more 😂😂
I ant to like your comment but it’s already perfectly liked
When my mom passed away a few years back the funeral director kept apologizing to me saying he had done the best he could considering the circumstances with my mother. I told him not to worry I completely understood what they were up against I had worked in the field for a short time. They did a wonderful job. It really is a fascinating career choice. I learned a lot in the year I worked in the field and highly respect people for taking on this career choice. My mother was beautiful when she was laid to rest. Just the way she wanted in her purple paisley pajamas.
Thats very sweet about the jammies, i did the same thing.. Im sorry about your mama honey.. Both my parents are gone now due to addiction, but my mom was more recent it was last year that she overdosed... She was brain dead but on life support at the hospital so she wasnt decomposing yet, and i went in and wiped her whole body down gently but thoroughly with baby wipes to make her feel clean and get rid of any blood etc, and brushed her beautiful loonnngg black hair and styled it ( my hair is now down to my bum and black just like hers💕) , trimmed and painted her finger nails and toe nails ( she always had beautiful nailpolish and was known for that, but her fingers were chipped and covered in blood after the overdose and the struggle, so i couldny leave them that way. So i painted them her favorite baby blue color + mine were matching) and i put a pair of my lil earings in her ears.. Then i put a pair of my favorite, comfy jammies on her and put this beautiful, thin, soft blankey on her that my husband got me for christmas..she was SO cold... The blankey meant alot to me and was so nice and comfy, and it was my fav thing to sleep in so i wanted her to be able to "sleep" for eternity with it.. All clean, comfy, and as beautiful as she always was.. Sorry for the rant. Im still very much not over it.
Yummie mummiee baaabyxoxo
I am so sorry for your loss. I lived with my great grandmother until she died when I was 15. I was so close to her and I loved her more than anything. She died on a national holiday so we couldn’t have a service for almost a week. I went in to see her expecting the worst but she looked so beautiful. Exactly the way she looked days before. She looked like she’d dressed up to go out and went for a nap before. I’m glad of that because it made me comfortable knowing she was looking beautiful for eternity in the clothes I chose for her. Its the most important step and really comforts people in the grieving process.
@@rae7864 Thankyou for sharing your story with us. You are allowed to rant, after all, who says how - and for how long - we can grieve. It’s different and personal to us all.
Your account of making your mum beautiful again is very touching. I love that you matched her nails to yours, and that you gave her your special “blankie”
I’m sending you love and healing as you work through this 💜💜💜
Didn't realize how tall Caitlin was.
as a 5.11 myself, this detail makes me happy. Tall girls need role models too! ^^
Tall women are hot
@@dcfromthev aaaand here comes a dude to sexualize it
I think she's just over 6 foot tall. I think she mentioned it in a recent video or her book. Plus I think Monika is also really petite which makes an interesting contrast.
Hhh I'm 5'3", I wish I was even close to her height 😂
I lost my first boyfriend to suicide 11 months ago. On November 20th it will be a year. He hung himself & unfortunately you could still see the lacerations on his neck & his face was all bloated, honestly looked kind of similar to one of the pig pictures. He wasn’t decomposed because he did it at night & was found in the morning but the image of seeing him in his casket has been completely burned into my memory & it sucks. He was buried in his Army uniform as well because he was in the military. It didn’t seem like he had a Mortician that genuinely cared for his appearance but I appreciate the work these people do. For obvious reasons his death traumatized me severely & I have since been diagnosed with Ptsd, it was so bad that I was eating pizza a few weeks later & the pizza smelled like the funeral home he was in & I instantly started gagging & crying. 5 months after I lost my boyfriend, I lost my best friend & she was dressed to the nines, eye lashes on, edges done, nails on, in her favorite color etc- it made me happier than sad because I knew if she were here she’d tell me to make sure her eye lashes looked good & they damn well did. Anyways, after loosing so many people (yes there were more than those two) I find turning to knowledge and learning about these things helps me cope because I try & try to find a reason and this is the only way to & for that I thank not only morticians, but this channel because it’s helped me make sense of all the losses I’ve had to deal with. They’re human just like us, & they truly are so strong to do this on the daily. I love the selflessness in this career.
Humans want life. Suicide is an act that will be greatly regretted. Life is beautiful 🤷🏻♂️
i know you left this comment a while ago but i just wanted to say i’m so sorry for your loss, i can’t imagine how difficult any of this would be…i hope you’re holding up okay and time has healed a bit ❤
hi, i’m just seeing this for the first time and thought it was a strange coincidence that today is the anniversary. i usually never comment on youtube but just wanted to say i’m sorry for your loss and i hope you’re doing alright. if it means something, i’ve struggled with suicidal tendencies for a long time but reading your perspective genuinely made me consider things i haven’t before. hoping that knowing your story has impacted at least one person positively can make you feel a little bit better.
It's really cool that despite being pro decomposition and natural burial, you are still open to collaborate with embalmers and see some cases where the grieving might need one.
Also that sneaking maggot is a mental image, thanks
Exactly! I appreciate her so much!
I’m just now noticing how tall Caitlyn actually is, like grab that plate off the top shelf for me please tall
Unless Monica is really tiny. I've been wondering which one it is.
Yea as a Shorter lady. How about no High Hair.
Monica is hispanic and hispanics can be short compared to europeans.
I’m super short and my sister is tall. When I need something from up high I yell “I need a tall person!”
@@killiberke Caitlyn is 6'0ft.
I never really thought about the behind the scenes stuff with the bodies, until my good friend Ricky passed. He was a gay black man in a pretty rural community, and it wasn't always easy for him. Then one morning, he threw himself in front of a tractor trailer truck. I was told when the services would be, and in my mind I just assumed he'd have to be cremated. Lo and behold, I walked into the church, and see my pal Ricky up front in the box. I was pretty impressed. I could NEVER do this job, but I'm so thankful for those that can and do.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Ricky sounds like a great man.
They should've pulled an Emmit Till and left him as he was so the community could see what they were responsible for.
I’m sorry it was so tough for him, he should have moved away and started life anew elsewhere. May he finally have peace 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Rest easy Ricky
I like your Pfp with the ice cream, where did you find it? And also I'm sorry that you lost ricky, RIP.
My grandpa was over done in 1996, my grandma was done ok in 2011, and my late husband was done horrible in 2016.
My husband had discoloration they used grease makeup like the stuff for Halloween. It was melting off. I was already heartbroken and then seeing that was even more disappointed.
Not all morticians care or have the knowledge as you two do.
I'm so thankful for GREAT morticians! They put my 19 year old nephew back together after he was beat to death in '03. We weren't allowed to touch his face or any part of his body for fear it would collapse. They had to completely rebuild his face, we had to provide them with three shirts...his body was so broken and bruised, they didn't want family see him like that. Such a sad event in our lives.
Gosh that is awful, i'm so sorry!!! 19 years old 😢 people can be monsters
Your story deeply touched me. I wish peace and healing for your family. Nephew is in a better place, free of pain now.
I am so sorry for your family's loss. I hope the killers were caught and convicted
This saddened me to hear about the horrible things that happened
I’m so sorry ❤️
My grandmother was killed in a head-on car wreck, which destroyed her face when she hit the steering wheel (no seatbelts on her car back in 1975). The undertakers did a really good job in restoring her face with what resources they had at the time. When we put her glasses back on, she really looked 'normal.' I applaud this work, because it's so important to the family to have closure, I believe!
Was the car totaled?? Were you able to repair it, or at least sell/trade it?? Not
being able to do so is a veritable tragedy.
@@cadaverdog1424 you are worried about a car than the actual person?
@@cadaverdog1424 what the actual hell is wrong with you?
I’m sorry for your loss, may she Rest In Peace.
@@cadaverdog1424 Noo...once a car is hit, you're done. The car will never be the same. Ask any mechanic. It isn't fair to lie and pawn it off on someone. Parts only.
especially since someone DIED in it.
I'm assuming this was an older car, THEN, as seat belts were universal by 1972, I think...by which year cars got kind of worthless in terms of being ruined by insurance and lead gas issues ruining the power.
You go to any car show, and you won't see anything from 1972 til the 1980s. It's rare.
Also, if it was a sedan (4 door) or a very common car, it would NEVER be worth anything to begin with. Sedans don't generally ever keep their value, even 30 40 years from now.
These is a brave profession having these ladies talking about maggots like nobody’s biz
There should of been a warning for that😭😭😭😭😭😭 I am NOT okay.
I think the warning was the title of this video. I'm sorry you're not okay, but that's life... I mean it's everywhere -- fungi, bugs, bacteria -- without nature's recyclers life on this planet couldn't continue.
@@galamander_1327 Exactly.
@@kimberleywilliams7802 it's a show about severely decomposed bodies
@@kimberleywilliams7802 I mean... what did you ACTUALLY expect though, given the video of the title? I don't understand.
Thank you for this video. My dad passed away suddenly recently. He lived alone independently and one of us live nearby and he wasn't found until he hadn't returned phone calls or several days, which was also typical of him. My sister and brother really wanted the full funeral, complete with viewing and the funeral director warned us this might be challenging. Thanks for helping me understand why his skin was darker, ears had slipped etc. They did a good job but he definitely looked more dead than sleeping. Since we couldn't be with him as he died, in a way it helped us grasp the reality of him being gone.
Why nana died last year at 93, I was shaking so much I thought I was going to be sick when I went into the funeral home to see her. I didn’t know what to expect, I’d never seen a dead body before and assumed she’d look old and dead and it would traumatise me. She looked amazing!! She looked peaceful, and easily 20 years younger. I was so happy I went because I very nearly didn’t. I’m so thankful there are people who do this for a job, they’ll never know how much their work is appreciated!
my grandma died when i was eight, and my mom didn't want me or my brother to see her so really all I remember is my grandpa saying " look what they did to your mother's face" to my mom. I only remember seeing her for like a split second and then suddenly being in the back of the room away from her casket.
Allahu Akbar. 💣
@@MrJamiez what??
@@MrJamiez seriously?! Grow up mate.
That happens when you enter primary flaccidity. Your skin smooths and wrinkles disappear.
Yay you’re home! I just had a job interview to be a crematory operator... wish me luck!!!!
good luck!! hope you hear back! 🖤
Congratulations on completing your studies. Good luck with the interview. 👍
Good luck Michaela! Hope you get it!
Good Luck!!!! You’ll get it. No worries 😉.
Good luck! I pray that you get hired. Please keep us updated 🙂
Maggots be like: it's free real estate
I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard this entire pandemic, thank you. Lol
"Maggots" of course being an euphemism for "real estate agents"
HAHAHAHAHAH
Tar. Nearly dropped my phone in the bath trying to not have a laughing fit.
Part of the ship part of the crew
My late father was not found for several days and in the summer heat. A fitting tribute to his character. Needless to say, the funeral was closed casket, but first we, the family went to the funeral home for a viewing. It did help me get closure, especially since I hadn't seen him for at least a decade. I wrote a short story and a poem about it.
My mom’s parents and grandpa were killed in a car wreck, they were hit by a drunk driver who came speeding over a hill on the wrong side of the road. All the people in both cars were killed. Mom said she couldn’t recognize them, their faces were too distorted by the damage from the wreck. That has always disturbed me... she was 14 years old, and they had a triple funeral for them. It was hard for her to get closure when she couldn’t recognize either of her parents.
My Dad passed on Dec. 29th. I was with him in hospice for 2 full days and nights and sat by his side as he took his last breath. I stayed with him until a man from the funeral home came to take him. When I saw Dad again before the visitation (his wish was always to be preserved) I was scared he wouldn’t look like himself anymore, that they wouldn’t do a good job with embalming or makeup. But he looked like my Dad, peaceful and at rest. He had his dignity back after the awful weeks of being in the hospital and hospice. I don’t know if I could have gotten the same closure with cremation or natural burial. As much as the embalming process disturbs me, it was also comforting in a way to see him dressed in his favorite dress-up clothes, looking peaceful and dignified, with a barnwood-style casket, which I branded with the cattle brands he used on the ranch.
"...this dark art..."
You're a funeral wizard, Harry! 😎
(bad Hagrid impersonation) You shouldn't have said that. 😀
@@BennyLlama39 that reminds me of Ben Drowned (my favorite creepypasta) I will always love creepypasta.
That was... Siriusly Riddikulus!! 😍💞
I think Monica goes to Ravenclaw. 🤔wait...what are the American houses? Any cool enough for Cold Hands or Caitlyn?
Putting the Fun in *Fun*eral.
My great grandfather’s funeral was a few days ago and he’d passed away almost a month prior. I was kinda wondering how his body could keep up bc my family really wanted a viewing. Honestly, he looked pretty pristine :) the people in charge of taking care of his body did a great job and we had a smooth funeral service and he was able to be buried next to my great grandmother :)
I'd guess that preserving a body before decomposition is an entirely different thing than trying to restore it afterward.
Unmitigated Disaster yeah i didn’t think of that 😳 regardless, embalming is a pretty impressive thing :0
They could have had him in a cooler too.
Back in the 70’s while I was in nursing school my uncle died several days after a diving accident. He was almost completely bald and had had Crutchfield tongs placed for a broken neck. I cautioned my mother that the site of the tongs might be noticeable but there was absolutely no sign of the tong insertion. He looked very natural. Thanks to all of you that do this work❤️
Her voice reminds me of Safiya Nygaard just a tad.
Thank god me too, I get similar vibes from her too.
I've had that thought before too. They both seem to enunciate very clearly and carefully. I think they also have a similar sense of humor, but that might just be me.
i love caitlin’s voice. i don’t know if she sings, but she sounds like she’d make an amazing mezzo-soprano or contralto.
it’s the way she articulated her words! yes definitely
Even her mannerisms sometimes
This is what had to be done when my uncle died, he was in a car accident and wasn't found for about three or four days. It was awful, he had a hard life and was finally getting his ducks in a row. It was determined he died on my grandpas' birthday, it gutted us. after the viewing we went to the cemetery and his plot was flooded and we had to wait for hours for people to show up and drain it. The whole experience was a nightmare.
You could say it was him crying his grave full.
That must have been a really traumatic experience for you and your family. I hope you're all recovering well
I think this video shows there is a difference between decomposition and a person dying with a physical reason to not look "themselves". I have seen posts from people who think this type of restoration would help when an elderly person has died after months or years of being in a state that has virtually altered their physical being. My father spent the last month or so of his life with his mouth literally open all the time. He was not able to keep it shut, for whatever reason - he was simply slowly dying of pulmonary and heart issues. When he passed, they tried to shut his mouth at the assisted living facility, but couldn't. The funeral home did their best, but in the end, apparently had to jam his lower jaw up to get it closed. That completely altered his face and he did not look anything like himself. I insisted to my mother and brother we have a closed casket and a nice photo. Sometimes we do have to deal with the reality of death - but it is nice that if it is possible, to make good things happen.
Thank-you Caitlin. I've learned alot listening to your videos. Mom died last month at age 91. It was expected. Before for she past we were able to work with the funeral home that we would keep mom at home to wash her dress her and to have her viewing at our house before the funeral home picked her up. It was so peaceful and meaningful to us as a family. We were able to have a beautiful graveside service two weeks later without embalming her. We would not known that this was even possible if it were not for your "Ask A Mortician ". We are deeply grateful. Sidenote. I was able to do her casket spray which gave me such peace and joy to do that for my mom.
My mother lay on heated carpet for 2 days. Her hairdresser offered to do her hair and I immediately remember the funeral director saying no and there would be a closed casket. I didn’t argue. Mum took such pride in her appearance. It was so sad she was found like that.
My sister did two and before she killed herself she was dressed to the nines and she wasn't found for almost eight days and a Hothouse it was terrible but thankfully we had a person like Monica that was able to make her look just like she didn't and was able to use something to make her smell like her favorite perfume I am really sorry you had such a terrible experience
My grandma was the same, lol! Such a diva. She told me: when I die, just throw me to the casket and closet fully. I dont want anyone to see me!
So well, I told the nurse just put her favorite outfit (a red dress of course, and her red lipstick), and thats all!
@@beckyanderson988 I know it’s been 8 months ago(since your comment) but I just came across this site for 1st time and I am so sorry about your sister 🛐 but that’s wonderful that they were about to do that. I know that had to meant the world to you 💜.
😢 This really broke my heart to read. I am so sorry 🙏🏻🕯🙏🏻
My mother was a Hairdresser, she did several of her client's hair when they passed. I didn't ask, and she didn't say.I was pretty young, and easily frightened, so, it was probably for the best.
I really appreciate Ms. Doughty’s will to earnestly cover related topics that may be at odds with; or at least superficially complicate her own views. She doesn’t feign some higher objectivity, she listens without animus and speaks directly to her biases; an authentic sincerity that’s seems almost foreign in this era of absolution seemingly bereft of nuance or compromise .
I think my IQ increased 5 points from reading that.
Tragically under-appreciated/undervalued professionals. You are both amazing women. 👏
They really are I've always been interested in this type of work im a cosmetologist I've style one of my clients hair after her death. Was a lil nervous took another stylist with me. However I would be terrified of maggots. Seriously
@New Jack City RN don't like them either. I kno they're flies. Afraid of stuff like that.
Agreed. Just like the CNAS
THANK GOD FOR MORTICIANS
I want to say, thank you for doing this channel and type of "taboo talk" in such a out there but understandable and sensitive way. My mother passed away this October, and these videos not only helped me understand the necessary schedule and things to have done from freezer to burial; but also helped me understand what I needed to do her restorative makeup before the viewing. I am not a professional funeral home makeup artist, so more "in depth" restoration had to be done by them, but this channel helped me understand what to do essentially.
She had as green of a burial as she could, if there's a plus in any of this. Her coffin was a weak wood and she wasn't embalmed, so she will return to the earth soon.
Thank you, Caitlyn.
So sorry for your loss.
wow insanely gross and insanely cool. i could never do this, humanity is so lucky to have people like you guys who do this as a profession
For real!
Hi! You probably won't see this, but my grandmother died last week, and your videos helped me a lot. (I probably couldn't have gone to her funeral if not for your videos.)
So, thank you.
Sorry for your loss, Jenna. I hope you find peace & she is at rest.
I'm a wound care nurse, we see a lot of maggots on necrotic tissue and we've even seen them crawling out of the room into the hallway lol. And I agree, there is no smell comparable to decomposing tissue.
That would be my worst nightmare, having a maggot escape, running off somewhere in a hospital and not being able to find it D:
That necrotic smell gets on your clothes and surfaces and never goes away!
@@lizzypage6365 it does go away if you wash them clothes so that's not true what you wrote
Maybe tmi but...how do you get rid of them? Do you just like, pick them off and smush them? Chuck them in a trash bin?
@@amandalogan89 We have the maggots in little bags that look like tea bags, which we place on top of the wound, so they're all contained in the bag. Also a reason why I don't drink tea anymore.
I had a friend who lived in an assisted living home. She died in the home, and they didn't find her for two weeks (which, if you put a loved one in an assisted living home, I'd be specific on how often they check on their residents). We cleaned her room, and it was....pungent. The thing for me was that most of the people---family members--were so disrespectful. I felt awful that her family was so jerky about her death, as if she'd inconvenienced them...I felt so awful for her, but I also felt awful for the first responders and "crime scene" cleaners who had to clean the apartment. We showed up a couple of days after they'd done their work, and I still smelled corpse for three days after I helped clean the apartment of her belongings. I was only glad that she died relaxed, doing what she wanted, and was--I assume--happy.
That facility could--and should--lose their license and undergo a total inspection of their policies and procedures. They would be put on probation by the state inspectors on an even more frequent schedule than state requirements. It is required by Medicare, Medicaid, private insurance providers, and agency insurance that resident status be documented at least every 24 hours for assisted living. In most facilities the resident records their status by sliding a device on their mailbox near the entrance from left to right by a specific deadline every day. If they have mobility issues and receive meals in their room/apartment, the person who delivers their meals or a nurse will document their status. In all honesty, that was grounds for the family to pursue litigation and file a complaint with the state licensing agency, the Division of Health Service Regulation. That is why every individual in assisted living and skilled care should have family members or a designated friend/patient advocate checking in on them on a regular basis.
I always reverence the dead as if they can hear everything we say. I believe they do. For people to be disrespectful of the dead is both immature and classless. Shame on them.
I have no idea what drives people to become morticians, but they are definitely needed and I respect the heck out of you.
It’s often very spiritual people who go into the funeral industry. I took a class in college about the sociology of death and you might be surprised to know that most morticians go into mortuary science because they’ve had GOOD experiences with death and want to help others have similar experiences rather than having traumatic experiences with death
$$$$$ if you are the owner.
Fascination with science, art and life /death! Almost became a Mortician but heavy lifting would have been a challenge for me.
I’m going to enter the field because I want to help people and tend to be very neutral about my opinions of people’s lives if they’re hurt or dead. I also want to help change the industry by having fewer embalmings and more natural burials, composting, etc
i want to be a mortician so bad
The little town I lived in when I was 16 in the 1960’s there was a funeral director who was an artist. A local man had drove his corvette up under a semi. He was torn up bad. The family insisted on open casket. The funeral director had gone to a class on restoration. It was late at night when he got the body. He woke up the local beautician and together they sorted through hair cut that day, he then went to work. The guy in the casket looked like himself. The director did have to tilt the head slightly and play with the lighting some but like I said the director was an artist, hair,, some sort of modeling clays glue and makeup and 12 hours work
That is impressive.
Bless him
When my best friend passed away in England, her funeral had to be delayed a week to allow family members to get over there. Every day during this delay, her 13 year old daughter would go in and touch up her makeup prior to the next person viewing her.
Wow, I don’t think I could touch a dead body at 55, let alone 13 - and my mother...
What's wrong with touching a dead body?
@@wioi Its MOM!
Anna Banana it’s terrifying
I very recently had my mom pass away and it was an incredibly cathartic and peaceful experience sitting with her body after she passed away, stroking her hands, and I'm barely 30. I think no one (fortunately) can understand how comforting it can be to be able to hold your loved one's body until it actually happens.
I did my Mom up too. She died accidentally and it was a few days before she was found.The funeral home told us that she shouldn't have open casket but my sister wanted it, and I told them to let me try.It was a few more days til the funeral too, and I went in every day, sometimes twice a day and retouched her makeup.She looked good still but it was a lot of work.
I did the same for my dad, brother inlaw and a friend too. I've seen such terrible makeup jobs done in funeral homes, that I'd rather do it myself and try to make everyone happy since this is the last image we will ever have of our loved one.
I worked for a funeral home in a large metropolitan area for six years. We never tried to restore decomposed bodies, I had never heard of that at the time. Plus we were always so busy there was no time for it. It was like an assembly line where I worked. The smell of a decomposing body is unlike anything else in this world, including an animal. There's just no way to describe it. The smell seems to stick to your clothes and everything. It's a smell I'll never forget. It's amazing at how fast it occurs too. A body lying for just a few hours in an un-air conditioned house is enough in some cases to make decomposition occur rapidly.
My brother drowned on a Saturday but wasn't found until the following Wednesday....in a creek in the middle of town... My oldest brother wanted to view him but luckily the funeral director talked him out of it. He was very polite and "gentle' about it and thank goodness my brother didn't insist.
Yeah, it would have been a horrible sight.
I’m so so sorry for your loss but I feel like I have to ask, that kinda sounds like the plot of Riverdale
@@foxja1 I'm sorry, I've never heard of Riverdale. I'm assuming it's a movie or tv series. The last time he was seen was the Saturday before he was found, near the creek where he fell in...we have our doubts. This creek was on the east end of town in a populated area but the creek has high grass grown around it. I'm rambling now. lol This happened in Skiatook, OK in 2005.
@@CannelleInOK I’m so so sorry then, I don’t doubt your story, it just sounded very similar to a plot line so I wondered if you’d ever heard of it, a very sad coincidence. I’m sorry again rip
@@foxja1 No need to apologize. What is this Riverdale? I might have to check it out.
My dad died due to a medical condition alone on his dorm room(he was going back to college) I don’t remember how many days he was there alone but I think is was more than one. We were able to have an open casket. He looked a little darker than I remember. He look like he was sleeping. I imagine that he had to have some level of “ extreme emboling” to look presentable to us, the family. They did a great job even I could only handle looking at him for a few seconds. I wish I could have handle looking at him longer. Thank you all for letting lost loved one get to be seen by remaining family as much as possible.
My Grandma passed away 2 years ago. I remember we got the call to drive to her house quick as we knew she was close to passing (she was diagnosed w/ cancer 3 weeks before). My family kept telling her to wait til my Mum and I got there to say goodbye. We got there and within 3-5 minutes she was gone. Afterwards my family kissed her and said their goodbyes and sat in the lounge room til the coroners picked her up. I couldn’t leave her side knowing I’d never see her again, I held her hand and must’ve stayed with her for 2 hrs til they picked up her body. I remember seeing how much she changed in such little time. She was 77 and had been a smoker since a teenager, so she was heavily wrinkled. Within the hour of passing her wrinkles had gone, looking more youthful. Death, so devastating yet mesmerising.
My grandmother also passed at 77 from cancer. She made it three weeks after diagnosis too
It’s so amazing just how far we have come! I remember my mom telling of how one of her cousins died after the car he was riding in was hit by a train. My mom was born in 1932 so it would have been the early 1900’s when her cousin was killed. The mortician tried his best to talk my mom’s aunt out of trying to have an open casket. Apparently there was not much left of his head. But my mom’s aunt wasn’t able to accept that her son was gone or that he was in no condition to be seen. She insisted on an open casket. The mortician had to construct a paper mache head and then they draped the casket with some thick black gauze. I’m so grateful that there are people who have the heart to work with the deceased. Thank you to each of you.
I'll never forget one of my professors referring to an open-casket funeral as a "corpse parade" in rebuttal to a student who was appalled with traditional Hindu funeral practices.
Your professor sounds great 😂
Well, that “corpse parade” is helpful to the families involved. My boss committed suicide and his family whisked him off to another state. I had a hard time accepting that he was dead. I finally decided that I NEED to see a body and funeral for acceptance and to begin the healing.
I love the way Monica explains things and presents things. She always makes a point to look into the camera. She seems like she’s made for making videos and doing speeches.
I would love to thank Monica Torres and those in her field for doing all they can to restore our loved ones so that we may give them a proper farewell. My cousin had committed suicide and he was not found for over a week. I cannot imagine the difficulty it took to make him appear as if he were peacefully sleeping at his funeral. I was eternally grateful as I had been bracing myself to see something out of night of the living dead. I miss him everyday and I would like to thank the kind and gracious ppl who were able to do this for us.
My best friend at age 14, of 9 years died of ovarian cancer. Closed casket wake. I'm now a month away from 43, and I still have PTSD from her loss and the inability to see her. Thank you for making this video, Caitlin. It helps considerably.
I can't understand why people go through this funeral stuff all the time when they could be cremated the funeral business is so disgusting it makes you want to throw up just thinking about it I would prefer to be cremated over anything
@@robertwindedahl4919 You can be preserved/present at a viewing and then cremated. That was done for several of my family members. Funerals are for the living. They are a chance to see the body, recognize the loss is real and permanent, and say good-bye. After that viewing, cremation is absolutely an option. Please do not judge others for the grief-related traditions that allow for processing and healing.
I am so sorry for your loss.
One of my best friends passed away a few years ago, and he wasn’t found for quite some time. The funeral home did a horrible job at restoring him for the viewing. I will never get his final image out of my mind. I had no idea this even existed.
They should of had a closed casket
i could NEVER do this type of profession. It really makes me value those who do. We all have a calling thank you for following yours!
I love you, Caitlin! I read "Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs" (and of course all of your books) and had a very honest conversation with my daughter about death and was able to answer all of her questions. Thank you for that!
Is it worth a read??? please be honest. I’m looking for a new book to dive into.
My son recently lost both an uncle and his grandpa on his dad's side within a month of each other. I felt like that book gave me some useful information that helped me help him through it. Caitlin is wonderful!
I am waiting for my copy in the mail!!! Working on reading her second book now! I loved the first one so much!
@@darrenp428 I borrowed the e-reader version from my local library! You could check it out that way & see if it's something you'd be interested in reading fully.
@@darrenp428 absolutely! Very quick, informative, and of course witty!
Caitlyn i’m so happy you’re back. My dear friend passed away in a motorcycle accident 2 weeks ago and I was looking at your videos for comfort.
My son died the day the covid lockdown started. He was a few weeks away from his 17th birthday. She's right when she said that for a while there were no viewings there were no funerals happening, she's right. I couldn't have a memorial. That was one of the worst things about it. People need that, to say goodbye. For closure. It was a nightmare within a nightmare.
I'm sorry for the loss of your son and I'm sorry you had to deal with isolation and grief at the same time. It couldn't have been easy but I hope you have found some peace now.
@@debbieharris1628 I have found a small amount of peace, thank you for asking... As much as any mother who's child dies way before their time anyways.
So sorry!
God bless you until you see him again. I am an old retired RN. I've seen things. God allows. I can tell you Heaven exists.
@@charlottepayne1918 thank you for your thoughtful reply! I have had a lot of cruel things said to me here on TH-cam in regards to things I have said about seeing my son again & it has been hard. But, replies like yours make me feel a lot better. Thank you again.