I, along with many of us here I am sure, can relate to all that you said, Margaret. The early loss of a parent, estranged sibling, unmarried, no children, lack of supportive friendships, etc. What I have learned is that it is far better to be alone than to be unappreciated as hard as that might be sometimes. After retiring last year and having the time to truly reflect I understand that although I live in a large city and nice area, it is totally lacking in social opportunities for a mature woman. For that and several other reasons, I decided to move elsewhere next year to a city that does offer much more. I also find that having something to look forward to helps greatly with my mood and outlook on life. Sending healing comfort to all. 🌹
@@siennabay that is so great! move to chicago! it's a very livable & vibrant city--all kind of cultural events, world-class museums, excellent doctors (plus research hospitals), local recreation centers, free concerts in the summer, any kind of place of worship you can imagine, AMAZING restaurant, a wonderful lakeshore and an unbelievable public library system--great libraries around the city all with excellent free programming--educational, instructional, activity-based weekly groups.
I just turned 64 last Saturday. Although I am determined to press on and do my best to make the most of my aging years, the last several have been filled with a ton of loss. Our home of 20 + years, estrangement with my oldest daughter, my mom who I hadn't been close to for a while passed away in 2020 and I lost my little soul dog too. There is more...but I guess losing so much in such a short period of time just blindsided me. I miss my old life so much. I love our new town and our sweet new home but it just doesn't feel like home to me. Doing my best to adjust. 😊I want to say how much I appreciate your vulnerability and sharing your experiences and feelings. Sometimes we can just feel so alone in all of this. ❤ Thank you so much!! And yes you are beautiful and you have a beautiful soul that shines through too!!!!! 🥰
I like that, " we're walking eeach other home". Thank you Margaret! We really are! It's late at night. In bed , light off. Specs off. I just had to reach out and give you a hug. Thank you for all that you do for the world of community! ❤❤❤
I understand the loneliness aspect of aging. I’m 68 and I was never able to have children and I knew when I got older that this would become more of an issue than it was when I was younger and had a busy life. My parents also passed away when I was young. I have a step sister who is 14 years older and lives across the country and a half sister who I didn’t know until a few years ago. I grew up as an only child. I never have enjoyed having someone in my life that I could talk to about anything like a mother, sibling, or child. I have missed that. I really miss not having children and grandchildren that all my friends have and enjoy so much. Thank you Margaret for touching on this subject. It helps me feel not so alone. I’m thankful for this group! ❤️
Hi Margaret, I understand loneliness. My roommate and me boost each other up for moral support. We both lost boyfriends a few years ago and are still suffering from it. I don’t know if she is a partner or not. But at the end of the day, she is always here. I don’t know if I love her or not, but there are moments when I am incredibly grateful for her. We both go to a place for people with mental disabilities and/or drug and/or alcohol addiction. It has been helping. I wonder where we will be in 3.5 years when I can work as many hours as I need to and still receive Social Security. I am worried about money. But right now I have a good bank account.
Thank you Margaret, just this last year I've had to cut people from my life, family mostly. We are estranged now, It's very sad that our lives have divided us from being close anymore. I can't do arguments and hurtful verbal words anymore. I want peace and calmness at my age 69. When I start to feel detachment and lonely I get moving, doing something to change my mindset. I don't look back I move forward to maintaining a Life of Peace & Gratitude ❤
I understand completely when you feel the hostility coming from someone and you know you haven't done anything to receive that behavior.. You now need to protect yourself and at this point.. love at a distance.
Hey. It's a pleasure to meet you. I hope you're having a great day? Well I was just scrolling through the app when I came across your profile and from it I got to find out that you're a very fun and interesting person. And since we meet new people everyday, I was wondering if I could get to know you more?
Today, after attending church, I visited a dear friend's grave site . I spoke my heart to him and reflected on the moments I cared for him and his wife during his end of life from cancer. I named one of my sons after him. As I returned to my car to leave, my eyes caught a glance of myself in the rear view mirror as I approached my car. My thoughts, I am old in my body, but I feel young in mind and heart. I recalled several older women over the years say this. Life is short. Sprinkle love wherever you go. We "Golden Girls" have much to share and shine as light in this world.❤❤❤
“Lean on me when you aren’t strong, And I’ll be your friend, To help you carry on…” thank you for addressing the harsh realities of aging Margaret, so comforting to know we are not alone❣️
I learned a lot this year watching some episodes of the show The Golden Bachelor. I never use the term " invisable "0but some of the women were saying they felt that way at times. People have told me im an extrovert. Well, when push comes to shove, i am a little fighter, and i can stand up for myself. I had to do that today with a female bank manager. I took my docial security out of her bank, and i opened another account at a different bank. Well, all the fees she was over charging me...she wrote a check for $185...and we parted ways. It was an example of " white collar crime". I just bring this up here, because all of you lovely women women and men reading this dont let society " pigeon hole you" in any way. We have lived these years, and survived so much. We even lived thru COVID!!! RIGHT. We all have our strengths. Some of us play an instrument, can use and read a map, can read cursive writing, can hold our end of a conversation. Like Margaret can sell anything...younger people might not tell us, but they admite us.
"We are walking each other home together" . What a nice thing to say. ❤️❤️ Thank you for being vulnerable and open and willing to talk about the subjects that are hard or tough. Love your broadcasts.
Wow, this is actually how I feel. I do feel sad because of aging. I feel like have no way to enjoy life . I'm not connected to people much anymore. And I don't feel like I have purpose. It's so stressful.
You do have purpose…you are needed and valuable. Maybe, you can volunteer or join an organization or maybe Church if you interested but there is someone who needs your wisdom. I understand what feeling, I exercise and I meet ppl who are likeminded ppl as well as crafting, DIY. These can help to lift our spirits.
same here. approaching 60 & feel so obsolete... i barely have a reason to get out of bed in the morning i exercise, volunteer, read, do art, but in the end it still feels like im just filling time bc of health reasons i can't go back to work; my energy is so low... it's disheartening bc up until recently (since retirement) i was so active and vibrant
Margaret you are sweet and a gem. Did you just have a birthday,? I know it was around this time. I actually had a travel show on the other day, and I looked up when the man said" so many doors to photograph"...that's Margaret in male form...lol
Thank you Margaret, for opening up your deep thoughts and feelings with us. I am estranged from two of my three brothers. It’s so upsetting to me, because as children I was so involved in their lives. I see them on fb and know that they have chosen to not be in my life anymore. It’s very hurtful and I really don’t understand why. I’m almost 74 and divorced. I have one friend but I don’t see her very much as she is so busy. It’s hard to find new friends and I am starting to find it easier to just hibernate in my apartment, even if I know I should get out there. It’s a hard time for sure.
Margaret, now that I'm 60, I can look back over the years and all the things I experienced, and I'm amazed that I've made it this far. All the BS I had to put up with, all the breakups, divorces (yeah 3 x loser here), estrangements from family, but some highlights as well: graduating from college, buying my own house--these experiences have only reinforced my resolve to live the best life that I can, and I am, on my own terms. Thanks for your insights.
I'm 64. Mom died a couple of years ago. During my life, my older sister went through boyfriends, husbands, friends.. and her own children. She neglected them, triangulated people against them and each other, and then discarded them. BUT, she never did this to me or her 4th husband. We were the only ones she had left. After mom dad and a sizable inheritance was available, she left her 80 year old husband of 30+ years with two forms of cancer. I adored my BIL. Then she manipulated a legal way to take a very large portion of my inheritance. The story is so convoluted and not worth telling. The great moment for me was when she finally "screwed" me, and I felt free to cut her out of my life. I have to admit to myself that life is so much better, more peaceful, without her in it. I am sad that she is now on her own. My life is better.
Very nice, Margaret. Very true. Yes, we get it about the comment, “You look good for your age.” I began feeling the fear of aging in my early 60s, but I really feared 70. Now in that decade I wonder what I will wake up each day, a new wrinkle, a new sag, a new soreness, a new spider vein. Am I getting hard of hearing? My vision is failing for driving at night. Exponential changes. Or at least it seems that way. But I love your videos that speak to these issues and I feel less alone and remind myself, one day at a time. Keep eating well, sleeping well, exercising, seeking out people, new places, joy, laughter, love. Even with all the detriments, I want more years. I hope for more time. ❤❤
I felt more alone in my marriage , then after we got divorced, but now years later , that feeling is returning . I have a big fanily, 5 brothers who are scattered everywhere and we never talk, and have very little communication with their children and havent even met half of my sister in laws. Its sad, but its the distance that has kept us apart and has been minimal communication as we realy have nothing in common. My children live in different countries though I'm glad they are successful, we hardly talk unless we are together. Though im fine in my aloneness, I'm starting to feel lonely in my new country away from family . I have made a few friends here, but they arent permanent residents. I just turned 70. Well at least I feel better getting this off my chest . Thank you . Hugs to all ❤
When i am lonely, if at all possible, I figure out a place to go, even if it's just to window shop. I get out of the house so I can be around people. I am very proactive about this. I do try to plan ahead, but I'm also spontaneous. It really beats sitting home in sadness.
This is emotional, Margaret. Thank you so much for sharing your life. I am sorry for your early loss of your mom and for your estranged brothers. I also lost my mom early as well (not as early), after she suffered for decades. Then shortly after I lost my dad. I have one estranged sister who was very abusive to all of us, so she’s not in my show or getting in my door - for 21 years. And I don’t have kids, husband, and my dogs have passed. I used to have so many friends, but they are distracted, tired, and going through their own grief and loss now. I also have been through so much pain and surgeries (including 5 EVLT for my venous insufficiency) that I am actually kinder to myself now. I see my ‘flaws’ and think - Wow! You’ve been through so much. What I can do for you today? I try to focus on eating healthier, breathing, refocusing, unplugging and like you said - pouring myself into something creative. Or I just take a nap. :) That’s why I’m moving to Europe. For a new chapter to explore, learn languages, meet new people, get deeper into the history of all of it, and possibly get a little dog. :) Thank you for all you do, Margaret! Day to day life and being alone are real. Grief and loss are real. But we can do things - even small things - to help ourselves feel better. Love of love to you and to this community! I am really grateful for you.❤
Thank you Margaret- I would so welcome more talks about befriending loneliness. I had a mother who couldn’t mother, died when I was 46, and you just named for me that loneliness. Also estranged from what family remains. All the advice out there (join a club! Volunteer!) assumes those opportunities are available (not often true) and dodge the learning to alchemize loneliness into peaceful solitude. Any thoughts?
Thanks for your talk I lost my husband in June ... and I am so lonely.. I just miss his presence. Grieving is a lonely place Now with the holidays coming I don't know how to get through them😢
Hello Lois Campbell, I just want to respond to your comment and send you a virtual hug. Your journey is indeed a lonely one and my heart is reaching out to you.😍
Lois, your heartfelt message touched my own heart deeply. As an aging woman, and as the caregiver for my husband, who is older and medically fragile, I have given much thought to a time ahead when I too will be alone, for I know I shall miss my husband dearly, if I outlive him, as I expect to do. If I may, I would offer this thought: Memory is humans' great integrator. When our lives are dismembered by loss, we put the fragments back together through acts of re-membrance. Re-membrance re-integrates the wholeness we once felt, and this allows us to be present to that wholeness, even amidst absence caused by losses of all kinds. When I taught writing at a small, private college many years ago, I would ask students to practice, through their writing, bringing someone back to 'presence" through capturing memories, writing them down lovingly, and even reading them out loud to themselves, once they were finished. I would encourage them to revisit their subjects, their Remembrance projects, as often as they liked, as new recollections occurred to them. Some students chose to re-member people who had been special to them, but others also did Remembrance projects for lost objects and possessions, even for things not so much possessed, but that had simply once been dear: a laurel tree the writer had played in and built shelters in as a child, for example. I am so sorry for your loss, Lois. I can't imagine what you must feel, as the days pass. But it is clear that you loved your husband deeply, and I can imagine ways that you might transform your grief, your sense of loss, your husband's absence now, into acts of re-membrance that might rediscover his presence as something real, still, in your life. Blessings and strength be with you. 🤗🥀💜
There must be so many organizations for older people. For example in UK there is Age Concern. They can signpost people to activities, advice and contacts. They have a befriending service. Lawn bowling is something enjoyed by many seniors. In many countries the Local Authorities have subsidized activities for séniors.
Thank you, Margaret, for being so open and vulnerable, and sharing about estrangement. Like loneliness, I think it's time we started talking about estrangement without feeling shame. I have been estranged from my sister for almost 20 years. It was a choice I made to free myself from her abuse, and I have never looked back. As others have mentioned, it's better to be alone and a little lonely rather than being with someone who is cruel, hateful, vindictive and abusive. As a Christian, I realize I have to forgive, but I don't think that means staying with an abusive family member or partner.
I had 3 older brothers. I always wanted a sister. My Moms family had 5 girls and 2 boys. The girls were always calling each other. Her family was always laughing and joking. I loved to be around them. They would visit each other too. My dad died the day after my 21st birthday. I couldn’t imagine if it would have been my mom like you did. Their is nobody like our mothers. Sometimes we just need our mothers. I miss mine every day. She’s been gone 23 years. Take care of yourself Margaret ❤
Hi Margaret. I know how hard that must have been for you losing your Mum so young. But for me having a Mother still alive and never loving me felt heartbeaking. Watching her now at 90 with dementia I feel nothing. I had a loving caring Father so that helped alot. Also my brother and myself have a great bond. Attended my Grandsons 19 th birthday party last night I just adore him and same with him. So I always count my blessings.
Margaret, you have a beautiful soul and God loves you very much! You and your channel have been such a blessing to me. I , too face these things, and I faced so much hardship in life, especially as a young person, and during CoFid; I am so grateful of what God has done for me, and for beautiful people like yourself, with your "happy" voice and lovely demeanor. You may not realize it but you truly are a treasure!
Your gift for me today is sharing and validating that yes we are alone and how we distract from thats is a choice.. the way through this journey can be better by having, loving, giving, through relationships with others. Thank you for your eloquent sharing.
margaret, you are fabulous. i've outlived my parents, (i was 23--they passed quite young--52 & 55) aunts & uncles so i haven't had the experience of watching people age i'm almost 60 and i've been watching you since i was 55. i learn so much from you and the women who share i appreciate you and the community you've built
Hello Margaret, this has been one of the best videos that you shared recently. I agree with everything you said about people making comments about our looks. There is ages and lookism and we have to be strong not to feel something. I was never confident about my looks even when I was young, and you don’t become totally self-confident just because you aged period. I’m trying to get out more locally as well because even though I have a wonderful community, not only in my own book tube community, but with the older women who are starting channels and of course your wonderful community. thank you so much for your honesty. Sending healing vibes to you and everyone on 60 and me. Aloha.
I understand this, Margaret, and feel for the struggle. My mother died when I was 20. It seems some of the loneliness comes from people not understanding the profound impact it makes to be left to navigate the world as an adult woman with no mother. Friends and family are so helpful and reassuring. Still, at the end of the day, they can't fulfill the contentment that comes with knowing one is somebody's somebody. If we were fortunate enough to feel that kind of connection initially through our mothers and fathers, then later partners and young children, then the lack of it once they are gone or grown becomes profoundly evident.
I totally agree- I am 68 and have not been able to have children- and am concerned that if and when I get sick and even lonely(more so) who will take care of me? Most of my friends have passed away in the last two years. Thank you for your honesty and openness today.
My sister had four daughters, none cared for her, they were all selfish. Strange thing is, sis always thought those of us who didn't procreate were selfish, although I was the one who nursed mum into her 103rd year and loved every minute of it. Like you, I find loss of so many loved ones so hard, it's the price we pay. Best we can do is try and stay fit and healthy and hope for the best.
Margaret, you just said something I have felt for years. As you know, I lost my mom at 22. I always feel as if no one has my back. My mom had early onset Alzheimer’s at he age of 46. I think through tout my life I always gravitate toward older friends. Looking for a mom. Now I believe all those experiences add me realize how precious life is every second of the day. It also makes us tougher. Thank you for sharing and allowing me to share. I still miss my mom think of her every single day. Hugs my friend,
What a very heartfelt conversation! I have experienced some lonely ness too! Not recently. I find that I definitely have to keep busy. I need a project and/or a goals. I have been busy for the past year and half, taking care of my husband. But, I have been fortunate that where we live right now, has been very rewarding, as the younger ladies that live in our neighborhood have been such wonderful people and we are getting to be friends. I am in a Bunco club with them and now a Book Club. Thanks for this talk. It's so good to face these topics in a group! Love you Margaret!!!!! Indpls, Indiana USA
Thank you Margaret. This is definitely a topic we all need to discuss or address in some way. It is good for us all to recognize that it is not just happening and affecting ourselves.
Margaret, I very much enjoyed this video and thank u for sharing. I like you miss my mom so much. Now that she’s gone I realize she is the only person who loved me unconditionally and would always be there to Listen to whatever I had to say.❤️😘
Thank you for this heartfelt video. I feel I was not prepared for this time in my life. I feel alone most of the time. Kids are busy with their life, and just not a priority for them. Sad because one day, they will be in our shoes feeling our same thoughts. We will be gone then. Bless you❤️
Look, 60 is the new 40! I have a friend who is 75 and still works part time, for the Civil Service. We had a friend todinner some weeks ago and she wss telling about her grandaunt, who lived to 104, and was making her own bread, having visitors etc right up to then. I could gill a book with these examples. I do believe temperament has much to do with with how each person deals with life. Perhaps surroundings and demographic too. I know quite a few older people who sing in a choir, not a church choir. Music is a wonderful uplifting blessing.
Yes, singing is so much fun 👍 I sing in a little choire, only a few woman, young middle and older (I'm the second oldest) and we are actually doing raps!!!! How cool is this, I love it 😃 Makes me forget all pain and sorrow for a moment 🍀🍀
I thought loosing my Mother at 26 was early guess it is always early …but 18 would be tough. I relate to you because of same age or its a connect. Joined your patron group and hope to participate in more chats
Good Sunday 🌅☕🍁🍂🌻🌾 morning, Margaret, your hair look's lovely and your beautiful necklace. Yup, the energy level is an issue and I just start too get busy and not 🤔💬 think about it too much🎉🎉🎉
I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I am an introvert and can honestly say I have never felt lonely in my entire life, in fact I prefer being alone. Yes, I have had acquaintances over my 80 years, and a two real friends. One passed away many years ago, and the last died two years ago very quickly from pancreatic cancer. I prefer my own company and have no trouble amusing myself 24/7. I have travelled extensively, and now that I am older travel with tour groups but try to go off on my own as must as possible. I have family close by and they help out if I have medical issues, etc. and include me in events, holidays but even that interaction tires me out. My home is my haven. PS. Disappointed that you appear to have scam posters on your site.
I am 68 and sometimes wonder what happened? Lol. One of my biggest gifts in life was having two wonderful parents until I was 65. My dad was our rock and such a good man. My mother was my best friend. She always had my back and we talked every day. Always the voice of reason and my go to person. When she got Alzheimer's, it was devastating to see her mind go but still knew me and lit up when I visited. It was hard to watch them die but I feel they are together in Heaven. I truly miss them but feel their presence in my heart.
Thank you. 62 I can relate. I've heard there are meetup common interest groups in Europe too. Seems like you could start one up. Meet in public spaces. Here there is a boomers group. It has common interests and values that make for success. You could make the group a travel interest or weekend market meetup. Like two hours of activities. See if people click. 55 to 75 female group. 😃
Thank you Margaret for this video. Whether we have a partner or not, we can still experience loneliness. Maybe it is biological. I think the best way is to accept it. Once it doesn’t become an al encompassing part of our, it is ok.
Sorry about any and all typos, my little fingers go fast. Above i talked about veins in my legs, i e had them since age 13. Also i just LOVE MARGARET...shes just a worldly person, open to others, proud of her grandson, and getting bargins. I cant believe that $1 fur jacket... Its so in style...im a bit jealous...lol.
Thank you Margaret for you open honest chat this morning. I have had deep periods of loneliness and sort of expected others to be there for me and was very disappointed when they weren't. This only added to the intensity of the loneliness. I remind myself that although it is painful to feel loneliness, it can be used as a tool to make us strong. Does that make sense to anyone?
Yes it does. I do believe and expérience that being able to face periods of loneliness without feeling misérable makes me feel stronger and more confident in the future… as, at 71, I know it will be my lot 😌❤
Margaret, I feel for you not having your Mum for long. My Mum lived to 93 and was my best friend which made it so hard when she died. However, I lost my husband of 50 years just one year ago and my son lives a good distance away. I was getting used to being just me and my 16year old cat but last Friday I had today goodbye to her! I am truly living alone now, first time in 73 years and have to get used to this. You are a great source of help bringing us together in similar situations - it’s life! ❤️
September 2018 rocked my family with the hurricane Florence. To lives and properties displaced we gave $45k. We also gave in 2020 COVID year. The "Treasure Principle" by Randy Alcorn helped my giving reason why getting $105k in two months is just evident of God's blessings on my household. God never faltered on his written and spoken promises over my family.. All thanks to Mrs Kathy Lien
It is simply the digital market. That's been the secret to this wealth transfer. A lot of folks in the US and abroad are getting so much from it, God has been good to my house
Sometimes i really forget my age. I have beins too. Got them from Grandma. My Mom is lucky it skiped a generation. Also sometimes, i get scarred when i see some men my age. Im 62, with the baldvgrey hair and beer belly. I've been surprised a couple of times where people actually look better. Ive moved back to my old neighborhood and my gym is only 3-4 blocks away, so for fun, i might just head over there tomorrow. P. S trully live you too Margaret...you just have a nice way about you.
Margaret, thank you so much for your "ramblings" today! I am nearly 64, & I never realized how lonely ageing can be. You are such a wonderful friend here to me in Yokohama. We all are beautiful, wonderful just the way we are. Michele in Yokohama, Japan💝❤💛💙🤎🧡💖💟
I, along with many of us here I am sure, can relate to all that you said, Margaret. The early loss of a parent, estranged sibling, unmarried, no children, lack of supportive friendships, etc. What I have learned is that it is far better to be alone than to be unappreciated as hard as that might be sometimes. After retiring last year and having the time to truly reflect I understand that although I live in a large city and nice area, it is totally lacking in social opportunities for a mature woman. For that and several other reasons, I decided to move elsewhere next year to a city that does offer much more. I also find that having something to look forward to helps greatly with my mood and outlook on life. Sending healing comfort to all. 🌹
@@siennabay that is so great! move to chicago! it's a very livable & vibrant city--all kind of cultural events, world-class museums, excellent doctors (plus research hospitals), local recreation centers, free concerts in the summer, any kind of place of worship you can imagine, AMAZING restaurant, a wonderful lakeshore and an unbelievable public library system--great libraries around the city all with excellent free programming--educational, instructional, activity-based weekly groups.
I just turned 64 last Saturday. Although I am determined to press on and do my best to make the most of my aging years, the last several have been filled with a ton of loss. Our home of 20 + years, estrangement with my oldest daughter, my mom who I hadn't been close to for a while passed away in 2020 and I lost my little soul dog too. There is more...but I guess losing so much in such a short period of time just blindsided me. I miss my old life so much. I love our new town and our sweet new home but it just doesn't feel like home to me. Doing my best to adjust. 😊I want to say how much I appreciate your vulnerability and sharing your experiences and feelings. Sometimes we can just feel so alone in all of this. ❤ Thank you so much!! And yes you are beautiful and you have a beautiful soul that shines through too!!!!! 🥰
Feeling it with you.
@@madrechelle8090 ❤
I like that, " we're walking eeach other home". Thank you Margaret! We really are!
It's late at night. In bed , light off. Specs off. I just had to reach out and give you a hug. Thank you for all that you do for the world of community! ❤❤❤
I understand the loneliness aspect of aging. I’m 68 and I was never able to have children and I knew when I got older that this would become more of an issue than it was when I was younger and had a busy life. My parents also passed away when I was young. I have a step sister who is 14 years older and lives across the country and a half sister who I didn’t know until a few years ago. I grew up as an only child. I never have enjoyed having someone in my life that I could talk to about anything like a mother, sibling, or child. I have missed that. I really miss not having children and grandchildren that all my friends have and enjoy so much. Thank you Margaret for touching on this subject. It helps me feel not so alone. I’m thankful for this group! ❤️
Hi Margaret, I understand loneliness. My roommate and me boost each other up for moral support. We both lost boyfriends a few years ago and are still suffering from it. I don’t know if she is a partner or not. But at the end of the day, she is always here. I don’t know if I love her or not, but there are moments when I am incredibly grateful for her. We both go to a place for people with mental disabilities and/or drug and/or alcohol addiction. It has been helping. I wonder where we will be in 3.5 years when I can work as many hours as I need to and still receive Social Security. I am worried about money. But right now I have a good bank account.
Thank you Margaret, just this last year I've had to cut people from my life, family mostly. We are estranged now, It's very sad that our lives have divided us from being close anymore. I can't do arguments and hurtful verbal words anymore. I want peace and calmness at my age 69. When I start to feel detachment and lonely I get moving, doing something to change my mindset. I don't look back I move forward to maintaining a Life of Peace & Gratitude ❤
So valuable !
I understand completely when you feel the hostility coming from someone and you know you haven't done anything to receive that behavior.. You now need to protect yourself and at this point.. love at a distance.
Hey.
It's a pleasure to meet you. I hope you're having a great day?
Well I was just scrolling through the app when I came across your profile and from it I got to find out that you're a very fun and interesting person. And since we meet new people everyday, I was wondering if I could get to know you more?
Same thing for me this year in particular. No point in wasting time in disagreements. It’s sad but important for peace in my own self.
Today, after attending church, I visited a dear friend's grave site . I spoke my heart to him and reflected on the moments I cared for him and his wife during his end of life from cancer. I named one of my sons after him. As I returned to my car to leave, my eyes caught a glance of myself in the rear view mirror as I approached my car. My thoughts, I am old in my body, but I feel young in mind and heart. I recalled several older women over the years say this. Life is short. Sprinkle love wherever you go. We "Golden Girls" have much to share and shine as light in this world.❤❤❤
“Lean on me when you aren’t strong, And I’ll be your friend, To help you carry on…” thank you for addressing the harsh realities of aging Margaret, so comforting to know we are not alone❣️
I learned a lot this year watching some episodes of the show The Golden Bachelor. I never use the term " invisable "0but some of the women were saying they felt that way at times.
People have told me im an extrovert. Well, when push comes to shove, i am a little fighter, and i can stand up for myself. I had to do that today with a female bank manager. I took my docial security out of her bank, and i opened another account at a different bank. Well, all the fees she was over charging me...she wrote a check for $185...and we parted ways. It was an example of " white collar crime".
I just bring this up here, because all of you lovely women women and men reading this dont let society " pigeon hole you" in any way. We have lived these years, and survived so much. We even lived thru COVID!!! RIGHT. We all have our strengths. Some of us play an instrument, can use and read a map, can read cursive writing, can hold our end of a conversation. Like Margaret can sell anything...younger people might not tell us, but they admite us.
"We are walking each other home together" . What a nice thing to say. ❤️❤️ Thank you for being vulnerable and open and willing to talk about the subjects that are hard or tough. Love your broadcasts.
Wow, this is actually how I feel. I do feel sad because of aging. I feel like have no way to enjoy life . I'm not connected to people much anymore. And I don't feel like I have purpose. It's so stressful.
Me too ❤
You do have purpose…you are needed and valuable. Maybe, you can volunteer or join an organization or maybe Church if you interested but there is someone who needs your wisdom. I understand what feeling, I exercise and I meet ppl who are likeminded ppl as well as crafting, DIY. These can help to lift our spirits.
same here. approaching 60 & feel so obsolete... i barely have a reason to get out of bed in the morning
i exercise, volunteer, read, do art, but in the end it still feels like im just filling time
bc of health reasons i can't go back to work; my energy is so low...
it's disheartening bc up until recently (since retirement) i was so active and vibrant
I surprised when you do your art, you don't get a high. All day tomorrow I'm going to paint wall in my house...and I just get excited. @@jmsl_910
Margaret you are sweet and a gem. Did you just have a birthday,? I know it was around this time.
I actually had a travel show on the other day, and I looked up when the man said" so many doors to photograph"...that's Margaret in male form...lol
Thank you Margaret, for opening up your deep thoughts and feelings with us. I am estranged from two of my three brothers. It’s so upsetting to me, because as children I was so involved in their lives. I see them on fb and know that they have chosen to not be in my life anymore. It’s very hurtful and I really don’t understand why. I’m almost 74 and divorced. I have one friend but I don’t see her very much as she is so busy. It’s hard to find new friends and I am starting to find it easier to just hibernate in my apartment, even if I know I should get out there. It’s a hard time for sure.
Margaret, now that I'm 60, I can look back over the years and all the things I experienced, and I'm amazed that I've made it this far. All the BS I had to put up with, all the breakups, divorces (yeah 3 x loser here), estrangements from family, but some highlights as well: graduating from college, buying my own house--these experiences have only reinforced my resolve to live the best life that I can, and I am, on my own terms. Thanks for your insights.
I'm 64. Mom died a couple of years ago. During my life, my older sister went through boyfriends, husbands, friends.. and her own children. She neglected them, triangulated people against them and each other, and then discarded them. BUT, she never did this to me or her 4th husband. We were the only ones she had left. After mom dad and a sizable inheritance was available, she left her 80 year old husband of 30+ years with two forms of cancer. I adored my BIL. Then she manipulated a legal way to take a very large portion of my inheritance. The story is so convoluted and not worth telling. The great moment for me was when she finally "screwed" me, and I felt free to cut her out of my life. I have to admit to myself that life is so much better, more peaceful, without her in it. I am sad that she is now on her own. My life is better.
Very nice, Margaret. Very true. Yes, we get it about the comment, “You look good for your age.” I began feeling the fear of aging in my early 60s, but I really feared 70. Now in that decade I wonder what I will wake up each day, a new wrinkle, a new sag, a new soreness, a new spider vein. Am I getting hard of hearing? My vision is failing for driving at night. Exponential changes. Or at least it seems that way. But I love your videos that speak to these issues and I feel less alone and remind myself, one day at a time. Keep eating well, sleeping well, exercising, seeking out people, new places, joy, laughter, love. Even with all the detriments, I want more years. I hope for more time. ❤❤
I felt more alone in my marriage , then after we got divorced, but now years later , that feeling is returning . I have a big fanily, 5 brothers who are scattered everywhere and we never talk, and have very little communication with their children and havent even met half of my sister in laws. Its sad, but its the distance that has kept us apart and has been minimal communication as we realy have nothing in common. My children live in different countries though I'm glad they are successful, we hardly talk unless we are together. Though im fine in my aloneness, I'm starting to feel lonely in my new country away from family . I have made a few friends here, but they arent permanent residents. I just turned 70.
Well at least I feel better getting this off my chest . Thank you . Hugs to all ❤
When i am lonely, if at all possible, I figure out a place to go, even if it's just to window shop. I get out of the house so I can be around people. I am very proactive about this. I do try to plan ahead, but I'm also spontaneous. It really beats sitting home in sadness.
Absolutely Carrie! You have the right attitude.
This is emotional, Margaret. Thank you so much for sharing your life. I am sorry for your early loss of your mom and for your estranged brothers. I also lost my mom early as well (not as early), after she suffered for decades. Then shortly after I lost my dad. I have one estranged sister who was very abusive to all of us, so she’s not in my show or getting in my door - for 21 years. And I don’t have kids, husband, and my dogs have passed. I used to have so many friends, but they are distracted, tired, and going through their own grief and loss now.
I also have been through so much pain and surgeries (including 5 EVLT for my venous insufficiency) that I am actually kinder to myself now. I see my ‘flaws’ and think - Wow! You’ve been through so much. What I can do for you today? I try to focus on eating healthier, breathing, refocusing, unplugging and like you said - pouring myself into something creative. Or I just take a nap. :)
That’s why I’m moving to Europe. For a new chapter to explore, learn languages, meet new people, get deeper into the history of all of it, and possibly get a little dog. :)
Thank you for all you do, Margaret! Day to day life and being alone are real. Grief and loss are real. But we can do things - even small things - to help ourselves feel better. Love of love to you and to this community! I am really grateful for you.❤
Thank you Margaret- I would so welcome more talks about befriending loneliness. I had a mother who couldn’t mother, died when I was 46, and you just named for me that loneliness. Also estranged from what family remains. All the advice out there (join a club! Volunteer!) assumes those opportunities are available (not often true) and dodge the learning to alchemize loneliness into peaceful solitude. Any thoughts?
Thanks for your talk I lost my husband in June ... and I am so lonely.. I just miss his presence. Grieving is a lonely place
Now with the holidays coming I don't know how to get through them😢
Hello Lois Campbell, I just want to respond to your comment and send you a virtual hug. Your journey is indeed a lonely one and my heart is reaching out to you.😍
Lois. I feel for you and so sorry you lost your husband. People all too often do not understand how hard widowhood is.
Lois, your heartfelt message touched my own heart deeply. As an aging woman, and as the caregiver for my husband, who is older and medically fragile, I have given much thought to a time ahead when I too will be alone, for I know I shall miss my husband dearly, if I outlive him, as I expect to do.
If I may, I would offer this thought: Memory is humans' great integrator. When our lives are dismembered by loss, we put the fragments back together through acts of re-membrance. Re-membrance re-integrates the wholeness we once felt, and this allows us to be present to that wholeness, even amidst absence caused by losses of all kinds.
When I taught writing at a small, private college many years ago, I would ask students to practice, through their writing, bringing someone back to 'presence" through capturing memories, writing them down lovingly, and even reading them out loud to themselves, once they were finished. I would encourage them to revisit their subjects, their Remembrance projects, as often as they liked, as new recollections occurred to them.
Some students chose to re-member people who had been special to them, but others also did Remembrance projects for lost objects and possessions, even for things not so much possessed, but that had simply once been dear: a laurel tree the writer had played in and built shelters in as a child, for example.
I am so sorry for your loss, Lois. I can't imagine what you must feel, as the days pass. But it is clear that you loved your husband deeply, and I can imagine ways that you might transform your grief, your sense of loss, your husband's absence now, into acts of re-membrance that might rediscover his presence as something real, still, in your life.
Blessings and strength be with you. 🤗🥀💜
There must be so many organizations for older people. For example in UK there is Age Concern. They can signpost people to activities, advice and contacts. They have a befriending service. Lawn bowling is something enjoyed by many seniors. In many countries the Local Authorities have subsidized activities for séniors.
I lost my husband too and there is a way forward. Seek out people who care about others.
Thank you, Margaret, for being so open and vulnerable, and sharing about estrangement. Like loneliness, I think it's time we started talking about estrangement without feeling shame. I have been estranged from my sister for almost 20 years. It was a choice I made to free myself from her abuse, and I have never looked back. As others have mentioned, it's better to be alone and a little lonely rather than being with someone who is cruel, hateful, vindictive and abusive. As a Christian, I realize I have to forgive, but I don't think that means staying with an abusive family member or partner.
I had 3 older brothers. I always wanted a sister. My Moms family had 5 girls and 2 boys. The girls were always calling each other. Her family was always laughing and joking. I loved to be around them. They would visit each other too. My dad died the day after my 21st birthday. I couldn’t imagine if it would have been my mom like you did. Their is nobody like our mothers. Sometimes we just need our mothers. I miss mine every day. She’s been gone 23 years. Take care of yourself Margaret ❤
Hi Margaret. I know how hard that must have been for you losing your Mum so young. But for me having a Mother still alive and never loving me felt heartbeaking. Watching her now at 90 with dementia I feel nothing. I had a loving caring Father so that helped alot. Also my brother and myself have a great bond. Attended my Grandsons 19 th birthday party last night I just adore him and same with him. So I always count my blessings.
Margaret, you have a beautiful soul and God loves you very much! You and your channel have been such a blessing to me. I , too face these things, and I faced so much hardship in life, especially as a young person, and during CoFid; I am so grateful of what God has done for me, and for beautiful people like yourself, with your "happy" voice and lovely demeanor. You may not realize it but you truly are a treasure!
Your gift for me today is sharing and validating that yes we are alone and how we distract from thats is a choice.. the way through this journey can be better by having, loving, giving, through relationships with others. Thank you for your eloquent sharing.
margaret, you are fabulous. i've outlived my parents, (i was 23--they passed quite young--52 & 55) aunts & uncles so i haven't had the experience of watching people age
i'm almost 60 and i've been watching you since i was 55. i learn so much from you and the women who share
i appreciate you and the community you've built
Thanks for sharing!!
@@sixtyandme i'm so glad you saw this comment!🫶
Hello Margaret, this has been one of the best videos that you shared recently. I agree with everything you said about people making comments about our looks. There is ages and lookism and we have to be strong not to feel something. I was never confident about my looks even when I was young, and you don’t become totally self-confident just because you aged period. I’m trying to get out more locally as well because even though I have a wonderful community, not only in my own book tube community, but with the older women who are starting channels and of course your wonderful community. thank you so much for your honesty. Sending healing vibes to you and everyone on 60 and me. Aloha.
Thank you Margaret.....you are truly one of the most genuine TH-camrs.....telling it like it is with love, kindness, and understanding mixed in.
❤️❤️
I understand this, Margaret, and feel for the struggle. My mother died when I was 20. It seems some of the loneliness comes from people not understanding the profound impact it makes to be left to navigate the world as an adult woman with no mother. Friends and family are so helpful and reassuring. Still, at the end of the day, they can't fulfill the contentment that comes with knowing one is somebody's somebody. If we were fortunate enough to feel that kind of connection initially through our mothers and fathers, then later partners and young children, then the lack of it once they are gone or grown becomes profoundly evident.
I totally agree- I am 68 and have not been able to have children- and am concerned that if and when I get sick and even lonely(more so) who will take care of me? Most of my friends have passed away in the last two years. Thank you for your honesty and openness today.
My sister had four daughters, none cared for her, they were all selfish. Strange thing is, sis always thought those of us who didn't procreate were selfish, although I was the one who nursed mum into her 103rd year and loved every minute of it. Like you, I find loss of so many loved ones so hard, it's the price we pay. Best we can do is try and stay fit and healthy and hope for the best.
Margaret, you just said something I have felt for years. As you know, I lost my mom at 22. I always feel as if no one has my back. My mom had early onset Alzheimer’s at he age of 46. I think through tout my life I always gravitate toward older friends. Looking for a mom. Now I believe all those experiences add me realize how precious life is every second of the day. It also makes us tougher. Thank you for sharing and allowing me to share. I still miss my mom think of her every single day. Hugs my friend,
What a very heartfelt conversation! I have experienced some lonely ness too! Not recently. I find that I definitely have to keep busy. I need a project and/or a goals. I have been busy for the past year and half, taking care of my husband. But, I have been fortunate that where we live right now, has been very rewarding, as the younger ladies that live in our neighborhood have been such wonderful people and we are getting to be friends. I am in a Bunco club with them and now a Book Club. Thanks for this talk. It's so good to face these topics in a group! Love you Margaret!!!!! Indpls, Indiana USA
This is brilliant Margaret!! Thank you!
Thank you Margaret. This is definitely a topic we all need to discuss or address in some way. It is good for us all to recognize that it is not just happening and affecting ourselves.
I certainly see you and hear you and agree 100%. Im 70 , I wish we were neighbors.
Thank you Margaret, such personal words, you have no idea how much I needed to hear them today, thank you so much, my love goes to you ❤
Truly resonates
Lonely, that's for sure. I just feel like I don't fit anywhere...
Margaret, I very much enjoyed this video and thank u for sharing. I like you miss my mom so much. Now that she’s gone I realize she is the only person who loved me unconditionally and would always be there to
Listen to whatever I had to say.❤️😘
You are so welcome
Thank you. I’ve made some changes this year involving people in my life. I’ve also grown fond of spending time with new friends.
Thank you for your honesty and transparency Margaret. It makes me love you even more.
Margaret, thank you so much for this video. It spoke to me on a very personal level. I appreciate your honesty so much.
Thank you Margaret. All very true. God bless you. ❤
Thank you for this heartfelt video. I feel I was not prepared for this time in my life. I feel alone most of the time. Kids are busy with their life, and just not a priority for them. Sad because one day, they will be in our shoes feeling our same thoughts. We will be gone then. Bless you❤️
Thanks for sharing!!
Perfect start to my day. Thank you Margaret ❤
Thank you for your incite!
Look, 60 is the new 40! I have a friend who is 75 and still works part time, for the Civil Service. We had a friend todinner some weeks ago and she wss telling about her grandaunt, who lived to 104, and was making her own bread, having visitors etc right up to then. I could gill a book with these examples. I do believe temperament has much to do with with how each person deals with life. Perhaps surroundings and demographic too. I know quite a few older people who sing in a choir, not a church choir. Music is a wonderful uplifting blessing.
Yes, singing is so much fun 👍 I sing in a little choire, only a few woman, young middle and older (I'm the second oldest) and we are actually doing raps!!!! How cool is this, I love it 😃 Makes me forget all pain and sorrow for a moment 🍀🍀
@@susannegiesen2114Yes, and dancing too. Even ballroom (not competitive of course) is fun and good exercise.
@doloresaquines1529 yes, this must be great too!!
Music music music Delores. It 80 percent contributes to my happiness in life.
Thank you Margaret for bringing awareness to these issues! Your hair looks great ❤
Glad it was helpful!
I thought loosing my Mother at 26 was early guess it is always early …but 18 would be tough. I relate to you because of same age or its a connect.
Joined your patron group and hope to participate in more chats
I am estranged from my family for my own well being all these years later I am stil lonely for my only sister❤
Good Sunday 🌅☕🍁🍂🌻🌾 morning, Margaret, your hair look's lovely and your beautiful necklace. Yup, the energy level is an issue and I just start too get busy and not 🤔💬 think about it too much🎉🎉🎉
I have always been so content in my aloneness!
I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I am an introvert and can honestly say I have never felt lonely in my entire life, in fact I prefer being alone. Yes, I have had acquaintances over my 80 years, and a two real friends. One passed away many years ago, and the last died two years ago very quickly from pancreatic cancer. I prefer my own company and have no trouble amusing myself 24/7. I have travelled extensively, and now that I am older travel with tour groups but try to go off on my own as must as possible. I have family close by and they help out if I have medical issues, etc. and include me in events, holidays but even that interaction tires me out. My home is my haven. PS. Disappointed that you appear to have scam posters on your site.
I am 68 and sometimes wonder what happened? Lol. One of my biggest gifts in life was having two wonderful parents until I was 65. My dad was our rock and such a good man. My mother was my best friend. She always had my back and we talked every day. Always the voice of reason and my go to person. When she got Alzheimer's, it was devastating to see her mind go but still knew me and lit up when I visited. It was hard to watch them die but I feel they are together in Heaven. I truly miss them but feel their presence in my heart.
Beautiful post Lynne!
Thank you for being so real ❤❤❤
Thank you. 62 I can relate. I've heard there are meetup common interest groups in Europe too. Seems like you could start one up. Meet in public spaces. Here there is a boomers group. It has common interests and values that make for success. You could make the group a travel interest or weekend market meetup. Like two hours of activities. See if people click. 55 to 75 female group. 😃
Tough day..
Thank you Margaret for this video. Whether we have a partner or not, we can still experience loneliness. Maybe it is biological. I think the best way is to accept it. Once it doesn’t become an al encompassing part of our, it is ok.
Sad about your mother. I had three older sisters who have died in the last two years. They were like mothers to me.😢 i miss them so much.❤
How interesting Margaret; you knew
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross! Tell us more! love your content! 🤗
Sorry about any and all typos, my little fingers go fast.
Above i talked about veins in my legs, i e had them since age 13.
Also i just LOVE MARGARET...shes just a worldly person, open to others, proud of her grandson, and getting bargins. I cant believe that $1 fur jacket... Its so in style...im a bit jealous...lol.
I am very happy to see you again, I was away for some time. God bless.🙏🇺🇸🇮🇱❤️
Thank you Margaret for you open honest chat this morning. I have had deep periods of loneliness and sort of expected others to be there for me and was very disappointed when they weren't. This only added to the intensity of the loneliness. I remind myself that although it is painful to feel loneliness, it can be used as a tool to make us strong. Does that make sense to anyone?
Yes Kirby, It does. It means you are a resilient person, with good insight.
Yes it does. I do believe and expérience that being able to face periods of loneliness without feeling misérable makes me feel stronger and more confident in the future… as, at 71, I know it will be my lot 😌❤
I enjoy all your videos but found this spoke to me more than any of them ❤
Margaret, I feel for you not having your Mum for long. My Mum lived to 93 and was my best friend which made it so hard when she died. However, I lost my husband of 50 years just one year ago and my son lives a good distance away. I was getting used to being just me and my 16year old cat but last Friday I had today goodbye to her! I am truly living alone now, first time in 73 years and have to get used to this. You are a great source of help bringing us together in similar situations - it’s life! ❤️
Loneliness is an epidemic among the young, aged 16 to 24. And depression.
I wish someone would ✍️ write a 📖📚 book about what to look ⏩ forward too in your 70s, 80s , 90s and 100🌹
Sandra. I am sure there are books written on that topic.
September 2018 rocked my family with the
hurricane Florence. To lives and properties
displaced we gave $45k. We also gave in 2020
COVID year. The "Treasure Principle" by Randy
Alcorn helped my giving reason why getting $105k
in two months is just evident of God's blessings on
my household. God never faltered on his written and
spoken promises over my family.. All thanks to Mrs Kathy Lien
That's a major turn around. Praise be to Jesus our Lord. Hallelujah
But then, what do you do? How do you come
about that in that period?
It is simply the digital market. That's been the
secret to this wealth transfer. A lot of folks in
the US and abroad are getting so much from
it, God has been good to my house
Big thanks to Mrs Kathy Lien
I thought myself and my family were the only
ones enjoving Mrs Kathy Lien trade benefits
Sometimes i really forget my age. I have beins too. Got them from Grandma. My Mom is lucky it skiped a generation.
Also sometimes, i get scarred when i see some men my age. Im 62, with the baldvgrey hair and beer belly. I've been surprised a couple of times where people actually look better.
Ive moved back to my old neighborhood and my gym is only 3-4 blocks away, so for fun, i might just head over there tomorrow.
P. S trully live you too Margaret...you just have a nice way about you.
Margaret, thank you so much for your "ramblings" today! I am nearly 64, & I never realized how lonely ageing can be. You are such a wonderful friend here to me in Yokohama. We all are beautiful, wonderful just the way we are. Michele in Yokohama, Japan💝❤💛💙🤎🧡💖💟
Thank you so much Michele - its lovely to have you in the community!