As a self-published author, I think people should be just as critical of my work as they are of someone who is traditionally published. Just because we are self-published doesn't mean the expectation changes. We have a responsibility to put out strong works.
Agreed. Establishing the expectation that self-published work isn't as good as work published by a publishing house is unfortunate because it potentially means people will pass it up. If the expectation is that it won't be good, why on earth would I read it, right?
The selfpublished stigma is a holdover. Back in the day if one was good they would get a book deal but if one was bad and had money they would selfpublish. The term vanity press speaks to this. Now adays with the low barrier provided by services like Amazon the playing feild has leveled. So we get really bad works and really good works. But stergis' law still applies. 90% of everything is crap. Being selfpublished means combatting both stigmas. It's not good enough to use them as an exscuse to be sloppy. In short good on you for putting in the work to make something good.
14:44 this reads like a meme. "She was green and red, but he... was colour blind." "She was a screw but he wasn't the correct screwdriver." "She was wine but he wouldn't have been of legal drinking age for at least another year."
I would be really interested to hear a critique of either Lili Reinhart's "Swimming Lessons" or Lana del Rey's "Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass." I haven't read either of them but I'm very curious since they are celebrities and I've actually heard good things about both books. I have a little more hope for Lana's book since she's already a lyricist but who knows 🤷♀️ the track record for celebrity poetry books so far is not great haha
I would love a review of Jewel’s “A Knight Without Armor”. The MTV Kurt Loder interview, in which he points out her use of “casualty” instead of “casualness” in her book is hilarious! P. S. - Another recommendation for “Blinking with Fists” by Billy Corgan.
what about Michael Jackson poetry book. Do not remember what it is called. As a fan, I loved it, but would like to hear professional English-speaker unbiased view.
I feel you Rachel. I’ve been writing a poetry collection for awhile and I’m super self conscious about it. I have a fear of becoming delusional and thinking I am one of the best. But I put so much work and genuine love into what I do that I also can’t completely hate it either. Also hello Kyra, it’s always a pleasure to see you, beautiful girl
Is there anywhere I can read your work? I love stumbling upon genuine artists who truly put effort, time, and love into their poetry, which you seemed to have done. Would love to support you in some way
"Someone's spent at least...an hour, writing this. So that's something." KILLED ME XD So many of these "poems" are just "nice quotes you save on Pinterest."
When you said this collection of poems was bad, I honestly expected there to be room for interpretation. I didn't expect them to be so... Cliché and void of vision
She was a dandelion not yet a flower but still not a weed. Growing through cracks in the pavement on a street he walked daily He stepped then stomped on her unable to see the beauty of life growing where life shouldn't be.
As, a poet, it makes me ecstatic to see that there are people who know what's the difference between Rupi Kaur and genuine poetry. I wish you could review my poems (even if you's roast them like a boss) but I mostly write in Hindi and Urdu. Also, I write Ghazals, which is a form of poetry that I absolutely adore because of its rhyme, rhythm and musicality. Lots of love and light!
I’m a self-published author myself, with three poetry collections, a novella, two micro-fiction collections, and two anthology submissions under my belt. I’ve accepted a long time ago that critics are an inevitable part of the creative journey. Does the criticism hurt sometimes? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, my audience has the right to think whatever they want about me and my work. If they like it, that’s cool. If not, that’s also cool. The last thing I want to do is come off like a totalitarian dictator to my audience, a la the main character from Pink Floyd the Wall near the end of the movie.
I sell all of my books on Amazon under the penname Garrison Kelly. I have books called Occupy Wrestling, Poison Tongue Tales, American Darkness, I Dream of Extreme, Necrograph, Lunatic Justice, Still Standing, and Raining Cats and Dogs. Enjoy!
I've never really liked the flower comparison when it comes to growth, except for dandelions or grass. I aspire to be like one of those little fuckers. To grow and thrive anywhere I want and against everyone's expectations.
I second this! I really would like to know what Rachel thinks about it. Personally, I was slightly disappointed by it. There are poems that are so introspective, well structured and written and then there are poems that seem to be undone and I feel like they lack something.
I came here expecting cheesy pinterest poems that people put on their walls in a pretty font, like "She was by herself, but she was being herself" and "She was a book but he couldn't read" And that's what I got
Thought I would try write something based on the “you were a flower” poem. I’ve never really written poetry before, so it’s not the best but here goes. You were a flower He admired as each petal unfurled The vibrant colour dancing Taking in you liveliness You thought he’d stay for a while There was so much more to show him Your roots complex and strong An expanse of depth and nature Spanning far beyond Those dainty pink petals Your roots were not so pretty But beautiful instead Crisscrossing an intricate lattice Hidden just beneath The only thing that he saw He could have seen so much more If only he had picked you But instead he buzzed on by Flower to flower to flower Leaving each one dry But you didn’t wither You looked to what made you strong And through drawing water From your own roots You’re still standing Long after he’s gone
Love the more brash takedown of these poems. At least Gabbie Hanna had occasionally cute illustrations.. I’ve never be insulted by these bad poetry books but this one genuinely stung 😒
Your comparison picks were delightful. They really show how poetry can invoke such powerful imagery and emotions. Also i love your hair and the the way Kyra looks at you with so much love is adorable.
I am an autistic person and, while I enjoy the ride of reading poetry, I’ve always had a very hard time seeing more in a poem beyond face value. These videos have given me so much insight into how to really look at poetry, honestly I’ve gotten more from these than I did in any English classes. I’ve also heard of the ‘show don’t tell’ idea but I don’t think I’ve ever had it explained this well. I love it.
I’m similar. I don’t particularly like reading poetry on my own because I usually can’t see past the surface, but watching Rachel’s literary analysis makes me really appreciate and enjoy it
I mean, yes, "Don't Stop Bellievin'" is a corny song, but shit, it is far better poetry than this. Like this: "A singer in a smoky room Smell of wine and cheap perfume For a smile they can share the night It goes on and on and on and on" Like that does give you an image, yes? I get none of that from any of these poems
Also, why is "she was a storm" written in past tense? It would be really interesting if she would play more on that part, for example make it a poem about an older woman, who once was "a storm" (sorry if my english is bad, I'm Dutch)
“Your heart speaks to mine in such a beautiful way.” Your smile is every love language, my heart has ever known. Your hands are made for kindness, the world has never shown. Your hair is a beautiful jungle, always wild and free. Your eyes the brightest lights, shining softly upon me. You are my guiding star, day after every day. Your heart speaks to mine, in such a beautiful way. I hope you see this! I thought I might take a crack at it.
Yeah, I don't buy the logic that says self-published books should be treated differently somehow from "real" books. If you're putting something out there and charging money for it, it doesn't really matter whether you put it out yourself or through a "proper" publisher. I like your distinction between "instagram poets" and people who publish poetry on Instagram. I fear to put my own stuff there.
I don't think the "blooming flower" part was internalized misogyny. It doesn't have to be "oh this woman is standardly beautiful and she's waiting for a man to notice her beauty." To me it can mean the woman is working on herself and is beautiful in her own special way. And it's not that she's waiting for a man's approval, she's simply moving on from a man who couldn't respect her and is now distancing away from that. At least that's my take on the cliche "blooming flower." Overall that poem sucked.
Rachel: “Let’s take a look at the second stanza of Maya Angelou’s poem.” Me: spends the next 15 seconds reading through the poem, wondering where and what the heck a second stanza is. 😂 Here for the tea, staying for the poetry lesson lol.
The fact that people consider Instagram poetry poetry at all is a sure sign that the English literature curriculum has failed us as a whole (also if you did a video just annihilating Atticus's poetry I would love you forever)
I wanted to post this poem I wrote in your comments section for a while now, but I always held myself back because one, this is the first poem I wrote other than the ones I tried to write back when I was around ten and two, I wrote it at midnight just after my kitten died and we buried her. I never went back to edit it because it reminded me of her and also because I have no idea about poetry. However, I think it’s time to refine this poem and honestly, make it worthy of my little girl. So, please give your honest opinions on it and suggest how I can make it more poetic. Btw, this poem has no deeper meanings and tells more than it shows, I know that, but I don’t know how I can make it show more. So, all suggestions are welcome. The moment you looked at me with those moon-like eyes, I was immediately smitten by you. You clawed at me with your little paws But I didn't mind Cause I deeply loved you. The nails that sank in, Left scars in their wake; But none hurt as much as the one you gave When you left. I cried for days and I cried for nights, Tried hard to forget the memories I once swore by; Yet, I couldn't help but long for them Because I knew I would never see you again. You were everything to me, my dear one; And I could never forget the times we spent alone Hands on hands, Shoulders to shoulders, Heads joined together. Each sound you made was a beautiful lullaby. I dreamt that you and I would be together, Like this, even in the future. I had hoped that you would always seek my warmth, No matter where you were, No matter where I was. But, things didn't go as planned Because our fate was a cruel one. It decided that you and I split And took you to a beautiful place, Complete with flowers, meadows and everything you liked, But left me all alone: Shattered, broken and a complete mess.
i really really love this... i love your message and the way you've illustrated the pain so well... might i suggest you using enjambment at the beginning of your poem to kind of highlight the moments the reader and the person they are speking about were fast pace and kind of just 'flew by'... also!! i love your caesura because it slows the pace down, each pause is almost like more hurt and the heart breaking... another suggestion would be to carry out the night imagery further- you start with positive connotations of night like how you describe the eyes and you mention dreams and lullabies.. so maybe you could contrast that with being awake and the daytime being negative? Of course, there may be other meaning behind the words you chose so i obviously don't expect you to use my ideas if you have another vision for this.. sorry this is so long!!
@@tylerclarke6673 Sorry I didn't reply earlier. I don't think youtube notified me. I was going through Rachel's poetry playlist again and I found that I had replies. And thank you for such a detailed reply. I learnt some new things. I will definitely try to implement your suggestions when I try to rewrite this poem again.
My non native english speaker french self want to write bad poems too. Like seriously... I could write like... 100 in a day and i'm still learning this language. like, "When you break someone's heart, you never know the tears they already cry." or "Wake up every day, knowing you're a better person than who you were when you fell asleep" or even "When he left her, she thought she was nothing. But she was more than this stupid attempt of poetry"
i wrote something quickly, completely unedited looking at some of the shorter poems that left me wanting more. here is is if anyone would be interested in reading it. rain no longer falls on the garden in my heart. the heat breaks into the greenery my flowers wither and my buds weep. my lungs cry out for air. the clouds in the sky are falling boulders. my branches fall and my bushes crumble. thorns press down to puncture the illusion. my lungs sob for another breath. then the air is water, and my garden sways in hope but the nettles and the roses have done their job too well. my tears fall down, with nothing to stop them. my lungs are silent.
Hiya! You have some awesome lines in there! I am by no means an expert but I think maybe you could be a little more intentional with your punctuation/capitalization, some lines end in periods while others don’t. Although sometimes this can add meaning, there’s not much rhyme or reason to it in your poem. Also, there was some cliché and work is needed to make your poem feel a little more cohesive, but honestly I think it’s great. You’re very talented!!! Your last line is memorable and I love how you compared clouds to boulders because it subverts the reader’s expectations! Also, you had some great mirroring in your poem. Overall excellent work!
@@Annanimity_123 thank you! i don't know if i'll ever make this into a finished piece, but i definitely see where you are coming from and will probably incorporate some of your advice if i end up seriously revisiting this poem!
Speaking to your point on the anxiety poem. I really wanted to share mine. This poem is in my book that I just published called the sky says you’re welcome. It’s one of my favorites and I feel like it accurately describes the feeling of anxiety. Of course i pasted this from my notes so grammatically it’s not the same as in the book but still the same words and concept lol Let me know if you guys like it! The monster behind me I got to know her The beast of the night Who wraps her hands around your throat To keep you from breathing She sets fire to your feet And knocks hammers to every bone in your body We are not friends But I know her I’ve watched her gather lead And drop it on chests of gasping women She casted spells on my eyes For them to open only to darkness To close only to rain I watched her Pull my heart out through it’s flesh Scrape tree branches against my stomach My serenity circumvented by her body Slithering through the tall grass behind me Her touch is not soft Yet I found comfort in her arms Because they say to keep your enemies closer It seems Like no matter who I find for refuge She is standing right behind them Taking us both within her grasp I tried, you know I hoped the sun would conquer her Good health would do away with her space I hoped my deep breaths would take hers And no matter what No matter how far I had come I always felt her hand hard pressed upon my shoulder
I began writing poetry as an "Insta Poet" not understanding much about form or function. Thought it was so woke and deep. Then I learned. It's frustrating because some of these writers do have powerful messages that are lost in loose (lazy) language.
To me, all these "poems" feel like first drafts. I write myself and sometimes I have a flash thought and scribble something down that's as short as the ones presented here but I leave it just long enough to then come back and use it as a base for an actual poem, sort of an inspiration or a continuation and finish the initial idea/thought behind it. Maybe this could be some sort of advice behind the criticism for writers. Don't just leave these Instagram lines (or Tweets at best) as they are and call it poetry! Use them as a base for something that goes deeper, use them as a thought for what you ACTUALLY want to say but say it without saying it, try and incorporate it into an actual poem that uses the idea but by showing us what you want to say :)
TW: I mention sexual assault in this comment. Stay safe everyone and have nice holidays! :) Every time I watch your poetry videos I wish you could give your insight on a poetry book that was picked up by a pretty big publisher and features a poem romanticising sexual assault on an unconscious woman. It made me cry and I was sick to my stomach, but unfortunately it’s German and though it was picked up by some bigger news outlets, nothing really came of it and the dude was even shielded by his publishers. Idk it’s not really the kind of lighthearted fun I come to this channel for, but it really poses the question how far poetry is allowed to go or what could have been done differently.
Oh wow, I didn’t think this comment would gain so much attention! The book is called “100 Gedichte” (100 poems) by Till Lindemann (Rammstein’s lead vocalist) and it was published by KiWi. The poem in question is called “Wenn du schläfst” (When you’re asleep). I searched for an English version, but it seems there is no official translation of the book and I couldn’t find an English translation of said poem either. If anyone is interested, I could give it a shot, though. Please note that this is NOT me attacking the band, their music or fans of the band.
Alright. Big fan of Lindemann and his band, but I had a look - couldn't find an already translated version so regretfully, I'm relying on Google Translate. Yeah, it is disturbing, in particular the use of Rohypnol. In poetry, there's often many ways of viewing a line but with that in play, I can't see anything but abuse. Now, If you split this poem in to a 6 line stanza and a 4 line stanza, the first stanza can actually be read as quite sweet. The following one is entirely disturbing. Does this imply that this is a (tasteless) twist? That the protagonist has changed from being someone who enjoy sleeping with their lover while they sleep, to being someone who has drugged a victim in order to sleep with them? Perhaps then it is dark sarcasm that we are dealing with. Regardless, it is not a particularly good poem, and its underlying message can and will be triggering for some. Inevitably, some poetry content even aside from this one will delve in to sensitive subject material. Perhaps book publishers may have to consider putting content warning, like some streaming services now do.
@@RickReasonnz Actually, I already find the first stanza maybe even more problematic on its own. Because I do think that every reader will realise that having sexual intercourse with someone who was drugged is not an act of love. But as you described, “sleeping with” someone who is asleep and describing it in such a romanticised way might be viewed as rather sweet. However, unless this is something two people explicitly talked about and that was explicitly given consent for, this is not a romantic thing to be talking about. So I personally do not see any real twist or sarcasm, rather it going from bad to worse? Again, at least that’s my view on it. That’s why I find the entire debate on this poem so important and interesting. I already stated it in my initial comment: How far can art (poetry) go? Thank you for taking a look and responding! I do agree on the trigger warning :)
wait I love how they take one sentence and try to make it look longer by separating them into multiple lines. that has the same energy as me trying to make my essays look longer by adding extra words and paragraph breaks
Hey I've been writing poems for a while but rarely shared them with anyone so I'd appreciate it if anyone could read this one and give me some advice? Letter written, never sent In a desk collecting dust The drawer is shut and cradling all The things that mutter _should_ and _must_ . Letter molding, in a house That’s quiet, cold, and all alone Its greetings unadministered By those who called this poor place home. Letter burning to a crisp An accidental blaze, they said They found a blackened skeleton, But learned its owner was long dead. Letter nothing more than ash We’ll never know what it contained And now it’s gone, it’s only mud, Transformed the first time that it rained.
I love your content because you don't just critizes work but you also show good works sometimes with commentary channels I feel like we can't find anything good anymore ( Thanks for making me discover Abigail and her poetry)
They said it's bound to be a woeful tale, A force of Nature or an act of God. "Time to redraw the Richter Scale." "Did we no pray enough, you grumpy sod?" The cherry tree is upside-down and dead, Its branches full of mug, torn clothes and glass, Firmly wedged amidships in what was my bed, Its roots festooned with bits of overpass. Sundays, I'd been working on a painting, A dream from childhood, castles, forests, hills, A snail on stilts, and kittens on the wing. The river took it too, down towards the mills. Someone's lost a sheep upriver; here it lays, Wrapped tightly in the awning from the store. Nine inches in two hours, someone says. I think I've heard men make claims like that before. Enough, at least, to wash away the banks, And crush the roses under stranded boats. The fountain tore right through their septic tanks; Cream's not the only thing round here that floats. Used to be the chimney, that shard of pot. This bit here was maybe part of the bath. The dining table floated off the lot, And, somehow, so did half the garden path. The fridge is flat, the freezer inside-out, The kettle toast, the toaster up the spout, The tumble-drier's lost it's final bout, And this home's buggered, not a shred of doubt. Someone tells me: just give it one more try, Come off the hills and rebuild in the leigh. The flood water won't always rise so high. That one just was not the one meant for me.
i like watching your poetry videos because they force me to better my english and then i don’t feel as guilty about watching them instead of doing actual work because it’s technically like an english class
Will you be reviewing Kaur’s Home Body? I read up to pg. 75 while waiting in line at Target, and I’m pretty disappointed there wasn’t any noticeable improvement, just more of the last two books.
You mentioned you were gonna release poetry at 200k and I went wait wait wait, does this channel not have 200k yet??? Wth TH-cam, promote this channel better. Rachel is so insightful, smart, and kind; I assumed she was at 1M or at least 500k
@@sannetts Yeah, she honestly breaks so many stereotypes of female TH-camrs, they aren't all just bodies being used to seel Bang energy, there's a video she did as a response to people who said her being a woman was distracting, and it's all I strive to be in life
6:56 “I find it almost insulting that [many self-published poets’] work goes unnoticed and [other poets] go on and make millions off bland, generic sentences with line breaks” this 100%. I feel like this is going on in many art forms in the current era: quality seems less important than marketability
I love your poetry content :) Tbh, what I define as good art is when it resonates within your soul. Like I don’t mean a cheap feeling that doesn’t last I mean it really lasts and it’s something you always come back to and perhaps even find newer and stronger feelings each time you read it. It’s creative and original, there is so many layers to explore you don’t know where to start. That’s what good art is.
Thank you, Rachel. You've led me back to poetry! I wrote little poems for my friends at 15 years old and you've inspired me to do it again, but better :)
For Recension Day, another great thing about it is you can feel that way and analyze it a little differently for all sorts of relationships, it has that little ambiguity that makes it versatile. I mentioned this in your Depp v herd video, but I left a bad relationship not too long ago and for me that poem explains how I felt dealing with the cognitive dissonance so well. The relationship was awful, but when we first broke up I felt as though I couldn't get over it without him because he was the only person I'd confided in for so long (because of the very abuse he'd done to me) and all those conflicting thoughts of the worst moments and needing to separate myself from him, but the nice ones when he'd treat me so well and make me feel I could not just trust him, but /only/ trust him.
2:40 when you said you were gonna show some of your poems at 200k I was like : huh?? How did I miss that, how long ago was that? And then I saw that you haven’t reached them yet and I was sincerely shocked.
Hey Rachel, I love your poetry reviews! Can you also review male poets that write and profit off of "empowering" poetry for women, like rh Sin. The poems are cliche nonsense like "she was a storm" "she was fire" etc etc. It just feels so patronizing and awful.
Just gotta say - was popping in to do some research on a self-proclaimed published poet's writing (not the one in the video), but I was impressed and appreciative of your discussion of the poems. Who knew discussion of what makes bad poetry bad would make engaging content on TH-cam?! Well done! (I kind of wish I had found this back when I was a high school English teacher).
I have a thought about the “My Body” poem.. She compares her lungs to rose bushes and her ribs to a birdcage. I don’t know but I kind of wish the lungs and ribs metaphors actually worked together more. What exactly does it mean that her lungs are rose bushes? I know this is very off topic but I was wondering if anyone had thoughts about this.
I’m not super well-versed in poetry but this thought occurred to me, too. When I think of rose bushes I think of this wild mess of branches and thorns, something potentially painful but also lovely. So it made me think maybe she has a painful lung problem but then also uses her voice to make beautiful things? Her ribs being a birdcage felt a little negative compared to the rest of the poem, as if her heart is something she’s willingly locked up. Would love to hear other people’s take on it. 😊
Me rewriting this really shit poetry to slightly less shitty poetry (I’ve never written poetry, which just goes to show how not hard it is): OG: You were a flower Blooming before his very eyes Yet he could not see your value Mine: You were a flower blooming in front of his very eyes Delicate and simple To strong yet gentle But he could not see the way you cried To water your own growth with no one by your side A inner hope where your beauty lies It’s requires a power he could never hope to exercise.
Thank you for bringing out the Penguins book of love poems again, it has to be my favourite poetry book so far. Also I'd love to see a Christmas stream, my birthday is on Christmas day but I don't really have any plans for it this year.
i really appreciate this content and your passion regarding poetry, it’s encouraged me to write my own and i feel like your criticisms of things like this help me to make sure i don’t repeat their mistakes (or carelessness...)
I don't really understand much about poetry nor do I have the time and money to read a lot, but I love your videos analyzing and talking about poems. I love learning more about what makes a poem good or what makes it mediocre. I might never really read a poetry book myself, but I'll keep supporting you Rachel!
To me, the "blooming" reference in the second poem wasn't about beauty, rather about growing into the person you wanted to be, growing successful and powerful. That said, I'm so glad you brought up Phenomenal Woman, it's one of my absolute favorite poems.
the world piles on top of me my breathing is constricted my lungs cry for air yeah, you could say that. OR you could say THIS (warning: long, could potentially trigger anxiety, idk): It starts I suppose in its course as my lungs begin to hitch and my brain begins to glitch and I force the air out like the lukewarm water from the garden hose which lies on its side abandoned by the wall of the house in which I suppose I live, though that seems distant now as the shadows start to crowd and push and force their way into my spinning, dizzy head and I become aware that I am on the ground, prostrate but not nearly as dead as I thought surely I’d be by now. My lungs have begun to burn, though the aching of my ribs is the grimmer turn because my lungs burn because I cannot breathe and my ribs ache because I cannot stop. Round and round and round go the thoughts, a crush of bodies like plague victims piled to rot in a cart and I’m trying to claw my way to the top because there is air at the top, and maybe sunlight and then I chide myself, silly girl, because I am not a bird and only birds take flight and _I am not a bird_ and there is no escape from this heap of hate and fear and lies but not lies, no, because lies are fundamentally untrue and who am I to deny the word salad my muddled mind is insisting on feeding me? Round and round and round and round and spinning faster now and burning brighter now and head lighter now and I cannot shake the feeling that all this senseless, senseless reeling is silly and vapid and perhaps I am simply spinning rapidly out of control and how long has it been, half turn or full round the clock a useless silly thought because this is irrational and if it is thus then how should I escape it because to escape I must reason with irrationality mustn't I and that tiny logical voice which may be able to talk me quickly harshly out of this is quieter by the minute and my head is fracturing and splintering and breaking quietly into starlight and fractals and I _cannot make it stop_ . Stop. Stop. Look up at the blue door. You have been in this crowd before. Look at the blue door. Breathe in, and hold your breath until your chest is still. You have been in this crush before. Find something the same shade of blue as the door. Breathe out, until your lungs are empty. Look at the blue door. You have dug your way out of this cart before. Dig your fingers in the earth. Look at the blue door. Breathe in again. Look at the blue door. Focus on the breeze on your face. Look at the blue door. You have made it out alive before. Focus on the door.
I really love the rhythm! The pacing is really great how it gets faster and less structured with each stanza, but comes to a halt at the end. I also like the change between first and second person pronouns.
I wrote a poem when I was 16 about a man-made monster and honestly thought it was bad. But then I watched this and thought, huh shouldn't let my talent go to waste. This sure as hell inspires me to write better
I feel like something that defines poetry is the layers that it has. There’s layers of meaning and things to interpret that will be uniquely significant to each reader.
Can you review Cami Petyn's self published poetry book? She's a youtuber I love and I am very curious. It is called "Silence: poetry, photos & a f**k ton of feelings."
The “poem” “crying/is never weakness” is so frustrating because it seems easy to improve it? I have no experience with writing poetry, but there’s some easy visual ideas you could make. Use imagery of war and injury - even the most powerful warrior bleeds, even she has to pause to wrap bandages around her wounds. Or the image of a traveller with a heavy burden stopping to rest before continuing on their journey. Or the banks of a river overwhelmed by days of rain. I’m a terrible poet, but a good poet could make something out of that!
She crackled into the room Every hair on my body came to attention. She turned her head And the wind swirled about her shoulders. Her words hit my ears like raindrops Quenching the earth and bathing the plants. She struck at those who stood against her Watching them shatter into smoldering woodchips. Her smile shone through a break in the clouds A tiny voice reaching up from the soil Basking in her warmth.
29:44 It's okay! These "poems" are, as a matter of fact, objectively bad, and you've demonstrated that thoroughly with your literary expertise. It's okay to say it. None of us will judge you for it or call you mean, and if they do they probably write bad Instagram "poems" as well and can't take criticism
TH-cam made me unsubscribe an unknown number of months ago and I’m beyond pissed off. I’ve taken 8 months off twitter to heal my mental health, and having not seen you on here I just thought you quit altogether!!! Good to be back. Omg
I always feel like a good poem had a level of discovery. You read it at face value and then when you take it a step further you can discover the undercurrents and metaphors, and it raises the value of the poem if you can keep learning more about it as you take each step forwards. A good poem evokes feelings each time you find the next meaning. None of these heartless poems have any substance...
That flower poem ... maybe his eyes were injured by another flowers thorns ... like maybe he was hurt by someone else and that's why he couldn't see her ... idk, I feel like you could come up with some really interesting visuals of different plants alongside wounds ... maybe it starts raining and the water cleans the guys wounds, but drowns the flower ... like something in their lives happened, now the guy is ready for a relationship, but the girl isn't anymore ... maybe the flower is dying ... a tragic love story ... a little cliche I know ...
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 89 | คู่เอก "ยอดไอคิว vs คิริลล์"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Z3vYkHJ_5Ig/mqdefault.jpg)
They sound more like a collection of generic inspirational quotes you'll find on home decor
my thoughts EXACTLY XD
100%
The worst kind.
Home is were the happiness is
Live, laugh, love. Lmaaooo
As a self-published author, I think people should be just as critical of my work as they are of someone who is traditionally published. Just because we are self-published doesn't mean the expectation changes. We have a responsibility to put out strong works.
Agreed. Establishing the expectation that self-published work isn't as good as work published by a publishing house is unfortunate because it potentially means people will pass it up. If the expectation is that it won't be good, why on earth would I read it, right?
How did self publishing work out for you? I’ve been considering it, but I’m not sure.
@Cath - It took a lot of work on the marketing side and I paid for a fantastic editor. I don't make millions, but I do have a decent fan base.
@@teapotsaway That’s really interesting, thank you!
The selfpublished stigma is a holdover. Back in the day if one was good they would get a book deal but if one was bad and had money they would selfpublish. The term vanity press speaks to this. Now adays with the low barrier provided by services like Amazon the playing feild has leveled. So we get really bad works and really good works. But stergis' law still applies. 90% of everything is crap.
Being selfpublished means combatting both stigmas. It's not good enough to use them as an exscuse to be sloppy.
In short good on you for putting in the work to make something good.
She wrote a book of poems
It sold overnight
Little did she know
It was utter dog sh*te
this is the one. I’m so moved by this comment 🥲
this is better than the poems in the book bc it has rhythm and a rhyme scheme
@アンティオコス As if it couldn’t get more moving
Best poem ever! XD
😂😂😅
14:44 this reads like a meme. "She was green and red, but he... was colour blind." "She was a screw but he wasn't the correct screwdriver." "She was wine but he wouldn't have been of legal drinking age for at least another year."
I'm-14-and-this-is-deep-core
She was a laserdisc, but he didn't have a driver.
*(Under breath)* Sbeve...
She was a Phillips head but he was ... whatever the wrong nail is aha
She was a fly, but he wasn't a piece of crap.
simon says
touch
your
nose
-rupi kaur
this is deep.
this says alot about our society
So true
and everyone did
this was so deep I actually touched my nose
"She was a Poem
But he couldnt read"
Please...just stop🤦♀️
She was a sentence
but he was illiterate.
She's a peanut
But he's allergic to peanuts
😭😭💔💔💯💯
She existed, but he was blind
@@hotbarbie HAJSJASHWJAHAJAJJAAJ
Why does this sentence remind me of the sk8ter boy song lol
Writing a generic sentence
in different lines
does not make it
a poem
I know it's been three years but i want you to know this poem you wrote changed my life. Truly so deep and full of wisdom, thank you for writing it.
unless you do it well.
I would be really interested to hear a critique of either Lili Reinhart's "Swimming Lessons" or Lana del Rey's "Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass." I haven't read either of them but I'm very curious since they are celebrities and I've actually heard good things about both books. I have a little more hope for Lana's book since she's already a lyricist but who knows 🤷♀️ the track record for celebrity poetry books so far is not great haha
I second this!!
Adam Gary Poetry reviewed both! But his reviews aren't as analytical as Rachel's so I'd love to see that too!
I would love a review of Jewel’s “A Knight Without Armor”.
The MTV Kurt Loder interview, in which he points out her use of “casualty” instead of “casualness” in her book is hilarious!
P. S. - Another recommendation for “Blinking with Fists” by Billy Corgan.
what about Michael Jackson poetry book. Do not remember what it is called. As a fan, I loved it, but would like to hear professional English-speaker unbiased view.
She did end up doing this!
You should review Lilli Reinhart (Riverdale girl) and Lana Del Rey’s poetry books lol
Lilli has a poetry book???
@@manvysings yes
Yesss I'd love to see Rachel reviewing Lana Del Rey's poetry
Lana’s book actually really disappointed me. But I hear, it was meant to be spoken word, so perhaps I should’ve bought the audio book.
_A Lana Del Rey poetry book?_
I feel you Rachel. I’ve been writing a poetry collection for awhile and I’m super self conscious about it. I have a fear of becoming delusional and thinking I am one of the best. But I put so much work and genuine love into what I do that I also can’t completely hate it either.
Also hello Kyra, it’s always a pleasure to see you, beautiful girl
Is there anywhere I can read your work? I love stumbling upon genuine artists who truly put effort, time, and love into their poetry, which you seemed to have done. Would love to support you in some way
@@thedawnhasbeengreeted3571 You can find me on Poetizer or Instagram at poetry.lives.here and I have it on private but I’ll follow back
Edit: The fact you are willing to take the time to read my work means a lot to me 😭😭😩😩 Thank you ❤️❤️
Me too girl. I’m scared of putting out my poetry book
@@aaliyahjade5091 no problem bb. And it's amazing btw. Never stop writing love
"Someone's spent at least...an hour, writing this. So that's something."
KILLED ME XD
So many of these "poems" are just "nice quotes you save on Pinterest."
I’ve got higher standards for my Pinterest boards than that failed author has for their work
When you said this collection of poems was bad, I honestly expected there to be room for interpretation.
I didn't expect them to be so... Cliché and void of vision
Honestly, these "poems" (encouraging statements?) are great prompts for those 30-day poetry writing challenges lmao
She was a flower
Blooming
Before his very eyes.
But he cut her for himself,
Left to wilt and die
Away from the sun.
My wine-induced amendment.
I like it much more!!
She was an orchid
Blooming
Before his very eyes
He was blind to her struggles
And did not deserve
Her beauty
She was a dandelion not yet a flower but still not a weed.
Growing through cracks in the pavement on a street he walked daily
He stepped then stomped on her unable to see
the beauty of life growing where life shouldn't be.
@@angelbrumfield6134 ❤️
@@angelbrumfield6134 i really really like that actually, well done
As, a poet, it makes me ecstatic to see that there are people who know what's the difference between Rupi Kaur and genuine poetry. I wish you could review my poems (even if you's roast them like a boss) but I mostly write in Hindi and Urdu. Also, I write Ghazals, which is a form of poetry that I absolutely adore because of its rhyme, rhythm and musicality.
Lots of love and light!
this comment led me to research ghazals, and now i'm falling in love with them
@@queenmaj6576 omg!!! Yes!!! Ghazals are love❤️
lol rupi kaur is has a good marketing team and nice illustrations............... but "the sun in her flowers" is noooootttt poetry
I recently discovered Ghazals through a poetry book talking about different poetry forms and they’re so unique!
@@xladycaosx Yes! They are beautiful
I’m a self-published author myself, with three poetry collections, a novella, two micro-fiction collections, and two anthology submissions under my belt. I’ve accepted a long time ago that critics are an inevitable part of the creative journey. Does the criticism hurt sometimes? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, my audience has the right to think whatever they want about me and my work. If they like it, that’s cool. If not, that’s also cool. The last thing I want to do is come off like a totalitarian dictator to my audience, a la the main character from Pink Floyd the Wall near the end of the movie.
wow. where can we read your work?
I sell all of my books on Amazon under the penname Garrison Kelly. I have books called Occupy Wrestling, Poison Tongue Tales, American Darkness, I Dream of Extreme, Necrograph, Lunatic Justice, Still Standing, and Raining Cats and Dogs. Enjoy!
I've never really liked the flower comparison when it comes to growth, except for dandelions or grass. I aspire to be like one of those little fuckers. To grow and thrive anywhere I want and against everyone's expectations.
Can you review Halsey poetry book “I would leave me if I could”
I second this! I really would like to know what Rachel thinks about it. Personally, I was slightly disappointed by it. There are poems that are so introspective, well structured and written and then there are poems that seem to be undone and I feel like they lack something.
Yes pls pls pls
i'd love to see this!!
Yes!!!!
@@celestegobbi1704 I felt the same way when I read that book. I love Halsey as a singer but some of her poems felt... idk like rushed I guess
Rachel is the Gordon Ramsay of poetry. I love it 💅🏻
ACCURATE
Explains why I love them both, lmao
I came here expecting cheesy pinterest poems that people put on their walls in a pretty font, like
"She was by herself, but she was being herself" and "She was a book but he couldn't read"
And that's what I got
Poetry or Facebook statuses? The world may never know.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop though?
@@angelbrumfield6134 yo, that was so deep. I almost cried. It’s like you wrote how my soul feels.
@@angelbrumfield6134 Post this on poetry insta
Thought I would try write something based on the “you were a flower” poem. I’ve never really written poetry before, so it’s not the best but here goes.
You were a flower
He admired as each petal unfurled
The vibrant colour dancing
Taking in you liveliness
You thought he’d stay for a while
There was so much more to show him
Your roots complex and strong
An expanse of depth and nature
Spanning far beyond
Those dainty pink petals
Your roots were not so pretty
But beautiful instead
Crisscrossing an intricate lattice
Hidden just beneath
The only thing that he saw
He could have seen so much more
If only he had picked you
But instead he buzzed on by
Flower to flower to flower
Leaving each one dry
But you didn’t wither
You looked to what made you strong
And through drawing water
From your own roots
You’re still standing
Long after he’s gone
Brilliant
this is absolutely amazing! thanks for sharing ❤️
@@ravenseth9288 Ooh I really like some of what you’ve done here!
this is so good!!!
ohhh that was a really nice read.
Love the more brash takedown of these poems. At least Gabbie Hanna had occasionally cute illustrations.. I’ve never be insulted by these bad poetry books but this one genuinely stung 😒
May I suggest that these poems be called “fortune cookie poems” because that’s where they belong
You named it sis 😂
These "poems" sound like the fortunes you'd get in a fortune cookie 😂
Uff, what have fortune cookie fortunes done to you to deserve such insults??
So basically she googled "motivational quotes", pressed "ctrl+c" and went on to publish a book
Your comparison picks were delightful. They really show how poetry can invoke such powerful imagery and emotions. Also i love your hair and the the way Kyra looks at you with so much love is adorable.
They should rebrand the book as poetry writing prompts, at least that would make more sense. Most of those sound like fortune cookies.
'Phenomenal woman' is one of Helena Bohnam Carter's favorite poems... AND IT SHOWS
Most of these poems sound like something straight out of
r/im14andthisisdeep
I am an autistic person and, while I enjoy the ride of reading poetry, I’ve always had a very hard time seeing more in a poem beyond face value. These videos have given me so much insight into how to really look at poetry, honestly I’ve gotten more from these than I did in any English classes. I’ve also heard of the ‘show don’t tell’ idea but I don’t think I’ve ever had it explained this well. I love it.
I’m similar. I don’t particularly like reading poetry on my own because I usually can’t see past the surface, but watching Rachel’s literary analysis makes me really appreciate and enjoy it
I mean, yes, "Don't Stop Bellievin'" is a corny song, but shit, it is far better poetry than this. Like this:
"A singer in a smoky room
Smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on"
Like that does give you an image, yes? I get none of that from any of these poems
Also, why is "she was a storm" written in past tense?
It would be really interesting if she would play more on that part, for example make it a poem about an older woman, who once was "a storm"
(sorry if my english is bad, I'm Dutch)
Your English was perfect, and honestly that sounds incredibly interesting. I definitely would have preferred something like that to what we got...
@@thedotintheletteri haha thanks! same honestly.. the poem we got was kinda embarrassing...
“Your heart speaks to mine in such a beautiful way.”
Your smile is every love language,
my heart has ever known.
Your hands are made for kindness,
the world has never shown.
Your hair is a beautiful jungle,
always wild and free.
Your eyes the brightest lights,
shining softly upon me.
You are my guiding star,
day after every day.
Your heart speaks to mine,
in such a beautiful way.
I hope you see this! I thought I might take a crack at it.
pretty!!!
I would also love to hear your thoughts on celebrity poetry books such as Lana del Ray,Halsey and lili reinhart.
Yes please!!
Yes omg
She’s got poems.
She’s got wine.
She’s got style.
I’m ready.
Haha I really expected this to be a poem and was really thrown off by the last line
She's giving me Jaclyn Glen vibes with the wine
@@Sleipnirseight I’m sure it could fit into one of these books somewhere as a “poem”, lmaooo
Yay! Poetry content!
I'm always excited when Rachel posts a new poetry video!
Yeah, I don't buy the logic that says self-published books should be treated differently somehow from "real" books. If you're putting something out there and charging money for it, it doesn't really matter whether you put it out yourself or through a "proper" publisher.
I like your distinction between "instagram poets" and people who publish poetry on Instagram. I fear to put my own stuff there.
I don't think the "blooming flower" part was internalized misogyny. It doesn't have to be "oh this woman is standardly beautiful and she's waiting for a man to notice her beauty." To me it can mean the woman is working on herself and is beautiful in her own special way. And it's not that she's waiting for a man's approval, she's simply moving on from a man who couldn't respect her and is now distancing away from that. At least that's my take on the cliche "blooming flower." Overall that poem sucked.
Rachel: “Let’s take a look at the second stanza of Maya Angelou’s poem.”
Me: spends the next 15 seconds reading through the poem, wondering where and what the heck a second stanza is. 😂
Here for the tea, staying for the poetry lesson lol.
The fact that people consider Instagram poetry poetry at all is a sure sign that the English literature curriculum has failed us as a whole (also if you did a video just annihilating Atticus's poetry I would love you forever)
I wanted to post this poem I wrote in your comments section for a while now, but I always held myself back because one, this is the first poem I wrote other than the ones I tried to write back when I was around ten and two, I wrote it at midnight just after my kitten died and we buried her. I never went back to edit it because it reminded me of her and also because I have no idea about poetry. However, I think it’s time to refine this poem and honestly, make it worthy of my little girl. So, please give your honest opinions on it and suggest how I can make it more poetic.
Btw, this poem has no deeper meanings and tells more than it shows, I know that, but I don’t know how I can make it show more. So, all suggestions are welcome.
The moment you looked at me with those moon-like eyes,
I was immediately smitten by you.
You clawed at me with your little paws
But I didn't mind
Cause I deeply loved you.
The nails that sank in,
Left scars in their wake;
But none hurt as much as the one you gave
When you left.
I cried for days and I cried for nights,
Tried hard to forget the memories I once swore by;
Yet, I couldn't help but long for them
Because I knew I would never see you again.
You were everything to me, my dear one;
And I could never forget the times we spent alone
Hands on hands,
Shoulders to shoulders,
Heads joined together.
Each sound you made was a beautiful lullaby.
I dreamt that you and I would be together,
Like this, even in the future.
I had hoped that you would always seek my warmth,
No matter where you were,
No matter where I was.
But, things didn't go as planned
Because our fate was a cruel one.
It decided that you and I split
And took you to a beautiful place,
Complete with flowers, meadows and everything you liked,
But left me all alone:
Shattered, broken and a complete mess.
i really really love this... i love your message and the way you've illustrated the pain so well... might i suggest you using enjambment at the beginning of your poem to kind of highlight the moments the reader and the person they are speking about were fast pace and kind of just 'flew by'... also!! i love your caesura because it slows the pace down, each pause is almost like more hurt and the heart breaking... another suggestion would be to carry out the night imagery further- you start with positive connotations of night like how you describe the eyes and you mention dreams and lullabies.. so maybe you could contrast that with being awake and the daytime being negative? Of course, there may be other meaning behind the words you chose so i obviously don't expect you to use my ideas if you have another vision for this.. sorry this is so long!!
Death always brings us tears we can turn into art. That was absolutely beautiful.
@@tylerclarke6673 Sorry I didn't reply earlier. I don't think youtube notified me. I was going through Rachel's poetry playlist again and I found that I had replies.
And thank you for such a detailed reply. I learnt some new things. I will definitely try to implement your suggestions when I try to rewrite this poem again.
@@agstinacueva1673 Thank you
My non native english speaker french self want to write bad poems too. Like seriously... I could write like... 100 in a day and i'm still learning this language. like, "When you break someone's heart, you never know the tears they already cry." or "Wake up every day, knowing you're a better person than who you were when you fell asleep" or even "When he left her, she thought she was nothing. But she was more than this stupid attempt of poetry"
I couldn't read the author at first and was suspecting a final, finishing blow to Gabbie's reputation and career as an author ...
Can you review Cody Simpson's terrible, uncomfortable poetry? His collection is called "Prince Neptune"
i wrote something quickly, completely unedited looking at some of the shorter poems that left me wanting more. here is is if anyone would be interested in reading it.
rain no longer falls on the garden in my heart.
the heat breaks into the greenery
my flowers wither and my buds weep.
my lungs cry out for air.
the clouds in the sky are falling boulders.
my branches fall and my bushes crumble.
thorns press down to puncture the illusion.
my lungs sob for another breath.
then the air is water, and my garden sways in hope
but the nettles and the roses have done their job too well.
my tears fall down, with nothing to stop them.
my lungs are silent.
Hiya! You have some awesome lines in there! I am by no means an expert but I think maybe you could be a little more intentional with your punctuation/capitalization, some lines end in periods while others don’t. Although sometimes this can add meaning, there’s not much rhyme or reason to it in your poem. Also, there was some cliché and work is needed to make your poem feel a little more cohesive, but honestly I think it’s great. You’re very talented!!! Your last line is memorable and I love how you compared clouds to boulders because it subverts the reader’s expectations! Also, you had some great mirroring in your poem. Overall excellent work!
@@Annanimity_123 thank you! i don't know if i'll ever make this into a finished piece, but i definitely see where you are coming from and will probably incorporate some of your advice if i end up seriously revisiting this poem!
You should! It has so much potential... repost here if you do I’d love to read it :)
If you do end up rewriting the poem let me know- I’m sure there are a lot of people who’d love to see them!!
this reminds me so much of my writing style lol
Speaking to your point on the anxiety poem. I really wanted to share mine. This poem is in my book that I just published called the sky says you’re welcome. It’s one of my favorites and I feel like it accurately describes the feeling of anxiety. Of course i pasted this from my notes so grammatically it’s not the same as in the book but still the same words and concept lol Let me know if you guys like it!
The monster behind me
I got to know her
The beast of the night
Who wraps her hands around your throat
To keep you from breathing
She sets fire to your feet
And knocks hammers to every bone in your body
We are not friends
But I know her
I’ve watched her gather lead
And drop it on chests of gasping women
She casted spells on my eyes
For them to open only to darkness
To close only to rain
I watched her
Pull my heart out through it’s flesh
Scrape tree branches against my stomach
My serenity circumvented by her body
Slithering through the tall grass behind me
Her touch is not soft
Yet I found comfort in her arms
Because they say to keep your enemies closer
It seems
Like no matter who I find for refuge
She is standing right behind them
Taking us both within her grasp
I tried, you know
I hoped the sun would conquer her
Good health would do away with her space
I hoped my deep breaths would take hers
And no matter what
No matter how far I had come
I always felt her hand hard pressed upon my shoulder
I began writing poetry as an "Insta Poet" not understanding much about form or function. Thought it was so woke and deep. Then I learned.
It's frustrating because some of these writers do have powerful messages that are lost in loose (lazy) language.
To me, all these "poems" feel like first drafts.
I write myself and sometimes I have a flash thought and scribble something down that's as short as the ones presented here but I leave it just long enough to then come back and use it as a base for an actual poem, sort of an inspiration or a continuation and finish the initial idea/thought behind it.
Maybe this could be some sort of advice behind the criticism for writers.
Don't just leave these Instagram lines (or Tweets at best) as they are and call it poetry!
Use them as a base for something that goes deeper, use them as a thought for what you ACTUALLY want to say but say it without saying it, try and incorporate it into an actual poem that uses the idea but by showing us what you want to say :)
TW: I mention sexual assault in this comment. Stay safe everyone and have nice holidays! :)
Every time I watch your poetry videos I wish you could give your insight on a poetry book that was picked up by a pretty big publisher and features a poem romanticising sexual assault on an unconscious woman. It made me cry and I was sick to my stomach, but unfortunately it’s German and though it was picked up by some bigger news outlets, nothing really came of it and the dude was even shielded by his publishers. Idk it’s not really the kind of lighthearted fun I come to this channel for, but it really poses the question how far poetry is allowed to go or what could have been done differently.
Hey what‘s the name of the book?:)
What’s the name of the book? I hope she sees this and makes a review on it.
Oh wow, I didn’t think this comment would gain so much attention! The book is called “100 Gedichte” (100 poems) by Till Lindemann (Rammstein’s lead vocalist) and it was published by KiWi. The poem in question is called “Wenn du schläfst” (When you’re asleep). I searched for an English version, but it seems there is no official translation of the book and I couldn’t find an English translation of said poem either.
If anyone is interested, I could give it a shot, though.
Please note that this is NOT me attacking the band, their music or fans of the band.
Alright. Big fan of Lindemann and his band, but I had a look - couldn't find an already translated version so regretfully, I'm relying on Google Translate. Yeah, it is disturbing, in particular the use of Rohypnol. In poetry, there's often many ways of viewing a line but with that in play, I can't see anything but abuse.
Now, If you split this poem in to a 6 line stanza and a 4 line stanza, the first stanza can actually be read as quite sweet. The following one is entirely disturbing. Does this imply that this is a (tasteless) twist? That the protagonist has changed from being someone who enjoy sleeping with their lover while they sleep, to being someone who has drugged a victim in order to sleep with them? Perhaps then it is dark sarcasm that we are dealing with.
Regardless, it is not a particularly good poem, and its underlying message can and will be triggering for some. Inevitably, some poetry content even aside from this one will delve in to sensitive subject material. Perhaps book publishers may have to consider putting content warning, like some streaming services now do.
@@RickReasonnz Actually, I already find the first stanza maybe even more problematic on its own. Because I do think that every reader will realise that having sexual intercourse with someone who was drugged is not an act of love. But as you described, “sleeping with” someone who is asleep and describing it in such a romanticised way might be viewed as rather sweet. However, unless this is something two people explicitly talked about and that was explicitly given consent for, this is not a romantic thing to be talking about. So I personally do not see any real twist or sarcasm, rather it going from bad to worse? Again, at least that’s my view on it.
That’s why I find the entire debate on this poem so important and interesting. I already stated it in my initial comment: How far can art (poetry) go?
Thank you for taking a look and responding! I do agree on the trigger warning :)
wait I love how they take one sentence and try to make it look longer by separating them into multiple lines. that has the same energy as me trying to make my essays look longer by adding extra words and paragraph breaks
Hey I've been writing poems for a while but rarely shared them with anyone so I'd appreciate it if anyone could read this one and give me some advice?
Letter written, never sent
In a desk collecting dust
The drawer is shut and cradling all
The things that mutter _should_ and _must_ .
Letter molding, in a house
That’s quiet, cold, and all alone
Its greetings unadministered
By those who called this poor place home.
Letter burning to a crisp
An accidental blaze, they said
They found a blackened skeleton,
But learned its owner was long dead.
Letter nothing more than ash
We’ll never know what it contained
And now it’s gone, it’s only mud,
Transformed the first time that it rained.
I love your content because you don't just critizes work but you also show good works sometimes with commentary channels I feel like we can't find anything good anymore ( Thanks for making me discover Abigail and her poetry)
Rachel: Is this the worst poetry book ever?
Me: If you have to ask, it probably is...
“I think she’s paraphrasing Journey there” 💀💀💀
They said it's bound to be a woeful tale,
A force of Nature or an act of God.
"Time to redraw the Richter Scale."
"Did we no pray enough, you grumpy sod?"
The cherry tree is upside-down and dead,
Its branches full of mug, torn clothes and glass,
Firmly wedged amidships in what was my bed,
Its roots festooned with bits of overpass.
Sundays, I'd been working on a painting,
A dream from childhood, castles, forests, hills,
A snail on stilts, and kittens on the wing.
The river took it too, down towards the mills.
Someone's lost a sheep upriver; here it lays,
Wrapped tightly in the awning from the store.
Nine inches in two hours, someone says.
I think I've heard men make claims like that before.
Enough, at least, to wash away the banks,
And crush the roses under stranded boats.
The fountain tore right through their septic tanks;
Cream's not the only thing round here that floats.
Used to be the chimney, that shard of pot.
This bit here was maybe part of the bath.
The dining table floated off the lot,
And, somehow, so did half the garden path.
The fridge is flat, the freezer inside-out,
The kettle toast, the toaster up the spout,
The tumble-drier's lost it's final bout,
And this home's buggered, not a shred of doubt.
Someone tells me: just give it one more try,
Come off the hills and rebuild in the leigh.
The flood water won't always rise so high.
That one just was not the one meant for me.
Loved it
Damn, this is good
i like watching your poetry videos because they force me to better my english and then i don’t feel as guilty about watching them instead of doing actual work because it’s technically like an english class
Will you be reviewing Kaur’s Home Body? I read up to pg. 75 while waiting in line at Target, and I’m pretty disappointed there wasn’t any noticeable improvement, just more of the last two books.
That is either some vacuous and empty poetry or Target has the worst customer service ever. Possibly both?
@@RickReasonnz actually, target was doing pretty good for it being the Christmas season
My ex best friend uses her stupid shitty poems to send indirect messages to me how worse can it get
With all those short bad poems I had the urge to read them out loud in cursive.
You mentioned you were gonna release poetry at 200k and I went wait wait wait, does this channel not have 200k yet??? Wth TH-cam, promote this channel better. Rachel is so insightful, smart, and kind; I assumed she was at 1M or at least 500k
Shes so eloquent- compared to some channels i can think of "uh uh you see, uh uh". I always enjoy watching
@@sannetts Yeah, she honestly breaks so many stereotypes of female TH-camrs, they aren't all just bodies being used to seel Bang energy, there's a video she did as a response to people who said her being a woman was distracting, and it's all I strive to be in life
6:56
“I find it almost insulting that [many self-published poets’] work goes unnoticed and [other poets] go on and make millions off bland, generic sentences with line breaks”
this 100%. I feel like this is going on in many art forms in the current era: quality seems less important than marketability
I love your poetry content :)
Tbh, what I define as good art is when it resonates within your soul. Like I don’t mean a cheap feeling that doesn’t last I mean it really lasts and it’s something you always come back to and perhaps even find newer and stronger feelings each time you read it. It’s creative and original, there is so many layers to explore you don’t know where to start.
That’s what good art is.
That is such a beautiful definition
Thank you, Rachel. You've led me back to poetry! I wrote little poems for my friends at 15 years old and you've inspired me to do it again, but better :)
Loved hearing you talk about this! 💙 I’m really excited to hear your thoughts on LDR’s poetry book.
Love you Rachel can’t wait for the video to drop
For Recension Day, another great thing about it is you can feel that way and analyze it a little differently for all sorts of relationships, it has that little ambiguity that makes it versatile. I mentioned this in your Depp v herd video, but I left a bad relationship not too long ago and for me that poem explains how I felt dealing with the cognitive dissonance so well. The relationship was awful, but when we first broke up I felt as though I couldn't get over it without him because he was the only person I'd confided in for so long (because of the very abuse he'd done to me) and all those conflicting thoughts of the worst moments and needing to separate myself from him, but the nice ones when he'd treat me so well and make me feel I could not just trust him, but /only/ trust him.
I’m such a sucker for structured essay-like videos. I feel like I’m actually learning something. You did a great job!
I love watching these to improve some of my own poems/lyrics skills
2:40 when you said you were gonna show some of your poems at 200k I was like : huh?? How did I miss that, how long ago was that?
And then I saw that you haven’t reached them yet and I was sincerely shocked.
Hey Rachel, I love your poetry reviews! Can you also review male poets that write and profit off of "empowering" poetry for women, like rh Sin. The poems are cliche nonsense like "she was a storm" "she was fire" etc etc. It just feels so patronizing and awful.
Just gotta say - was popping in to do some research on a self-proclaimed published poet's writing (not the one in the video), but I was impressed and appreciative of your discussion of the poems. Who knew discussion of what makes bad poetry bad would make engaging content on TH-cam?! Well done! (I kind of wish I had found this back when I was a high school English teacher).
I have a thought about the “My Body” poem.. She compares her lungs to rose bushes and her ribs to a birdcage. I don’t know but I kind of wish the lungs and ribs metaphors actually worked together more. What exactly does it mean that her lungs are rose bushes? I know this is very off topic but I was wondering if anyone had thoughts about this.
I’m not super well-versed in poetry but this thought occurred to me, too. When I think of rose bushes I think of this wild mess of branches and thorns, something potentially painful but also lovely. So it made me think maybe she has a painful lung problem but then also uses her voice to make beautiful things?
Her ribs being a birdcage felt a little negative compared to the rest of the poem, as if her heart is something she’s willingly locked up.
Would love to hear other people’s take on it. 😊
These "Poems" Look more like writing prompts than anything else.
Me rewriting this really shit poetry to slightly less shitty poetry (I’ve never written poetry, which just goes to show how not hard it is):
OG:
You were a flower
Blooming before his very eyes
Yet he could not
see your value
Mine:
You were a flower blooming in front of his very eyes
Delicate and simple
To strong yet gentle
But he could not see the way you cried
To water your own growth with no one by your side
A inner hope where your beauty lies
It’s requires a power he could never hope to exercise.
This legit took me about three minutes to write btws. It took me longer to think on how to write this comment then it did to write the upgraded poem
Thank you for bringing out the Penguins book of love poems again, it has to be my favourite poetry book so far.
Also I'd love to see a Christmas stream, my birthday is on Christmas day but I don't really have any plans for it this year.
i really appreciate this content and your passion regarding poetry, it’s encouraged me to write my own and i feel like your criticisms of things like this help me to make sure i don’t repeat their mistakes (or carelessness...)
I don't really understand much about poetry nor do I have the time and money to read a lot, but I love your videos analyzing and talking about poems. I love learning more about what makes a poem good or what makes it mediocre. I might never really read a poetry book myself, but I'll keep supporting you Rachel!
The worst part is that some of these could be a really interesting hook to a long poem, but it just ends!
These are like things you see on tumblr with little floral backgrounds or cloud backgrounds
To me, the "blooming" reference in the second poem wasn't about beauty, rather about growing into the person you wanted to be, growing successful and powerful. That said, I'm so glad you brought up Phenomenal Woman, it's one of my absolute favorite poems.
the world
piles on top of me
my breathing is constricted
my lungs cry for air
yeah, you could say that. OR
you could say THIS (warning: long, could potentially trigger anxiety, idk):
It starts I suppose in its course as my lungs begin to hitch and my brain begins to glitch and I force the air out like the lukewarm water from the garden hose which lies on its side abandoned by the wall of the house in which I suppose I live, though that seems distant now as the shadows start to crowd and push and force their way into my spinning, dizzy head and I become aware that I am on the ground, prostrate but not nearly as dead as I thought surely I’d be by now.
My lungs have begun to burn, though the aching of my ribs is the grimmer turn because my lungs burn because I cannot breathe and my ribs ache because I cannot stop.
Round and round and round go the thoughts, a crush of bodies like plague victims piled to rot in a cart and I’m trying to claw my way to the top because there is air at the top, and maybe sunlight and then I chide myself, silly girl, because I am not a bird and only birds take flight and _I am not a bird_ and there is no escape from this heap of hate and fear and lies but not lies, no, because lies are fundamentally untrue and who am I to deny the word salad my muddled mind is insisting on feeding me?
Round and round and round and round and spinning faster now and burning brighter now and head lighter now and I cannot shake the feeling that all this senseless, senseless reeling is silly and vapid and perhaps I am simply spinning rapidly out of control and how long has it been, half turn or full round the clock a useless silly thought because this is irrational and if it is thus then how should I escape it because to escape I must reason with irrationality mustn't I and that tiny logical voice which may be able to talk me quickly harshly out of this is quieter by the minute and my head is fracturing and splintering and breaking quietly into starlight and fractals and I _cannot make it stop_ .
Stop. Stop. Look up at the blue door. You have been in this crowd before. Look at the blue door. Breathe in, and hold your breath until your chest is still. You have been in this crush before. Find something the same shade of blue as the door. Breathe out, until your lungs are empty. Look at the blue door. You have dug your way out of this cart before. Dig your fingers in the earth. Look at the blue door. Breathe in again. Look at the blue door. Focus on the breeze on your face. Look at the blue door. You have made it out alive before. Focus on the door.
is this from a poetry book
I can feel the desperation in the way this is structured/rhythm, pacing, etc
@@helixxia9320 no, it's mine
I really love the rhythm! The pacing is really great how it gets faster and less structured with each stanza, but comes to a halt at the end. I also like the change between first and second person pronouns.
I love how you actually give constructive criticism. There's no need for relentless negativity (:
You actually make me appreciate language and writing so much more than my teachers ever could!
I love it when you talk poetry. 😍
I wrote a poem when I was 16 about a man-made monster and honestly thought it was bad. But then I watched this and thought, huh shouldn't let my talent go to waste. This sure as hell inspires me to write better
I feel like something that defines poetry is the layers that it has. There’s layers of meaning and things to interpret that will be uniquely significant to each reader.
Can you review Cami Petyn's self published poetry book? She's a youtuber I love and I am very curious. It is called "Silence: poetry, photos & a f**k ton of feelings."
my left brain: *listening appreciatively to your poetry commentary*
my right brain: *furiously taking notes about how you've done your eye make-up*
The “poem” “crying/is never weakness” is so frustrating because it seems easy to improve it? I have no experience with writing poetry, but there’s some easy visual ideas you could make. Use imagery of war and injury - even the most powerful warrior bleeds, even she has to pause to wrap bandages around her wounds. Or the image of a traveller with a heavy burden stopping to rest before continuing on their journey. Or the banks of a river overwhelmed by days of rain. I’m a terrible poet, but a good poet could make something out of that!
She crackled into the room
Every hair on my body came to attention.
She turned her head
And the wind swirled about her shoulders.
Her words hit my ears like raindrops
Quenching the earth and bathing the plants.
She struck at those who stood against her
Watching them shatter into smoldering woodchips.
Her smile shone through a break in the clouds
A tiny voice reaching up from the soil
Basking in her warmth.
I can hear the doggie snore and it gives me life.
29:44 It's okay! These "poems" are, as a matter of fact, objectively bad, and you've demonstrated that thoroughly with your literary expertise. It's okay to say it. None of us will judge you for it or call you mean, and if they do they probably write bad Instagram "poems" as well and can't take criticism
I love you, Rachel, but seriously, use an Oxford comma in your description!
TH-cam made me unsubscribe an unknown number of months ago and I’m beyond pissed off. I’ve taken 8 months off twitter to heal my mental health, and having not seen you on here I just thought you quit altogether!!! Good to be back. Omg
"if something is awful from a technical standpoint but you still enjoy it, all the more power to you" me watching the entirety of Riverdale: >:3
I'm addicted to your channel. Your compassion and kindness shines through even when you're being critical. I'm so excited to hear your poetry! ❤️
I always feel like a good poem had a level of discovery.
You read it at face value and then when you take it a step further you can discover the undercurrents and metaphors, and it raises the value of the poem if you can keep learning more about it as you take each step forwards.
A good poem evokes feelings each time you find the next meaning.
None of these heartless poems have any substance...
I'm really enjoying getting to see the poetry you compare these with, opening my eyes to a lot of great poems I never heard about in school
the first one sounds more like something someone would say in a perfume commercial than an actual poem...
That flower poem ... maybe his eyes were injured by another flowers thorns ... like maybe he was hurt by someone else and that's why he couldn't see her ... idk, I feel like you could come up with some really interesting visuals of different plants alongside wounds ... maybe it starts raining and the water cleans the guys wounds, but drowns the flower ... like something in their lives happened, now the guy is ready for a relationship, but the girl isn't anymore ... maybe the flower is dying ... a tragic love story ... a little cliche I know ...