Standing up to our frugal principles. W1
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- There is no need to explain your frugality. Just stick to your principles.
Frugal Queen in France
We are a British couple living in Brittany on a budget.
Frugal recipes, days out, home renovations and day to day making do in France.
We’ll give you hints, tips, advice and an insight into our life in France.
Budget Book Recomendation
Link to book:
shorturl.at/Xv5Fp
Link to Full Shop
www.etsy.com/u...
Instagram / frugalqueen. .
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I’m sure you’ve probably also heard Dave Ramsey repeat the saying from the Bible “do not cast your pearls before swine”. There is no reason to talk about frugality to people who are not interested. It’s wasted breath. On the bright side, that allows you to find your own tribe of people who see the value in what you say. I find your channel very valuable 😊
Thanks so much
Being Dutch I have no problem whatsoever telling someone to sod off... Or if they keep asking me the same stupid question " Why is your dog on a leash?" (in an area where officially dogs must be on leash!) I ask a question back " Do you have dementia because I gave you an answer to that question four times already?"
I love your response
As a fellow Dutch person, I was also thinking why keep it in your head... just say it out loud! 😉😊
Thank you Jane and Mike. I love the way you are always so upbeat and cheerful🙂🙏
Yay to being Dutch and direct! 😂👌🇳🇱
I will be stopping work shortly because I need a knee replacement and we will be managing on my husband's part pension, our super and our savings for the next 18 months until I can get the pension. My friend at work says 'how lucky' we are to be able to manage and she'd love to give up work. This person smokes, drinks, spends a fortune in coffee every day and calls in 'sick' on a whim. Her husband and her are paying a mortgage and just borrowed $100 thousand to buy a car. We are not lucky, we have been careful with our money and don't owe anything to anyone
I just say, “Yes, thank you! I *feel* lucky” with a big smile.
Or, in response to “must be nice!” I say, “You know, it is, rather!” Again with the big smile.
People who are trying to get under your skin don’t know how to respond when you agree with them, in my experience.
Thanks
We have a friend who has always spent freely, used credit willy-nilly, made poor financial choices. This friend resents us because we are more secure in retirement and laughingly, calls us "rich"! Lol! Well, we didn't go on lavish vacations, we live simply, entertain at home, and had a financial plan. We saved, and still save, that's how we got here. But they can't see that. We cook every night, we take care of our things. It's just a way of life for us. And we're perfectly content.
Well said
The world is much simpler when you stop explaining yourself and just do what's right for you! Great video
So true!
I love a good Jane rant! ❤
I really just stopped communicating with these people because i am frugal i managed so many very difficult times in my life and could still provide extra for my families needs despite it, not sure if some of those critics would ever be able to sail through what i had to sail through. When i used to proudly declare i saved a little money even to share deals i definitely got judgement and being looked down on as "oh your so poor", nowadays all the things i do are super sustainable and trendy. i just get on with my journey, i don't judge when people talk fake wealth and excessive spending (frugalies always catch out those little white lies...) i let them and just get on being happy and content. ❤
Good point
I walked into a very nice women's clothing store one day, got looked up and down by a female clerk, then dismissed. I was ready to spend money in this store, but walked out, thinking, here I am, not needing to work, and the clerk did not think I was worth helping. I just had to laugh.
when I used to work in the corporate world, a staff 'do' was being organised, the organiser said she wasnt even bothering asking the one girl as 'she's always pleading poverty' I was still young and a newbie so didnt comment, but it stuck with me, and now as a more mature adult I think back and think, good for her in just saying no thank you, it was how the organiser chose to interpret her decline of the invitation
Thanks for sharing
So true! I get tired of hearing people say "it must be nice" in a mean spirited way. It is nice, but it's all about choices.
As if it happens by accident
Agreed 100% ❤
I always say that I run my wallet and I don’t want anybody else in it.
Yes Jane, there are lots of people out there who make those sorts of comments. More often than not, they'll be those who are up to their necks in debt and want others to join them. Love those two little girls at the end. 🤗🥰 🐶🐶🐾🐾
Thanks Shelia
Oh my goodness Jane!! I really needed to hear that today after wasting time talking to some of those brick walls!!! The teacher in me wants people to learn something but you're so right that all they hear is blah blah blah!!! From now on I'm doing the Sod Off approach!! 🤣
Inner dialogue is fine and I'm happy to think....sod off
KC Davis in her brilliant little book, How to Keep House While Drowning, has a great response for dealing with the negative comments.: “I’m not taking feedback on this issue at this time.” And, “I started making progress when I stopped talking to myself the way you’re talking to me now.”
I love that
That’s brilliant!
Nick Lewis, a Canadian design blogger has a great cut them off at the knees comeback:
"I'm not emotionally available for constructive criticism from you right now"
I agree never take advice from a broke person-make your own money budget and decisions.
Thoughtful advice.
Nice video and pats to the pooches.👍🇦🇺
Thanks for watching!
Well said Jane and Mike! I noticed over the years that I have been frugal that every unusual treat, even if only a ripe tomato in July, gives me a lot of pleasure. A hug, laughter and a shared meal with grandchildren is priceless. And that tomato may well be the onset of it ...Joy! And that money can't buy. The less I spend, the more I value "free stuff".
Yes... it was my birthday yesterday. Went for a beautiful walk by the water with family. Left over curry for dinner and ate cheese and olives with my husband and watched the sunset. Perfect day. The simplest things can be very special.
Those people spend money in ways you wouldn't dream of. They are the ones who want you to bail them out. They would gladly accept your hard saved money and go right back to their wasteful ways.
i do not have any particular frugal principles but i do drive an old toyota Prius because i am a hobbie artist and the materials are not clean. My colleague recently insisted i should buy a new 100K car - yup 100,000$ US ... she just bought one and does not understand why i do not do the same because after all i do earn 2X what she earns......
there was no reasoning with her so i let her have a melt down about it....
keep happily driving my old Prius till it dies - - it's free.... LOL - my 100K are safely tucked away in TBills earning me 5K per year....
Well done
😲A 100K car? Is it gold plated? 😅
@@ibislife100K car, does it clean my house& cook meals from scratvh??, rosie the robot?😊
Jane, I’ve always been frugal. Grew up in a family with 10 kids, I learned budgeting watching my stay at home mom meal plan, hang laundry out, pass down clothing, etc. Right now my kids (5 adult) are the ones pushing us to spend, spend, spend. My dh overhauled our 25 year old snowblower. Kids say…..buy a new one. A couple hundred dollars vs a thousand. Now my son is urging us to go on a cruise. I have NEVER been interested in cruising yet he is insisting I’d love it. Nope.
We are in our 70’s. My backyard is my farm, highly productive raised beds, chickens….. we are more than comfortable just being home. When they start commenting on our lifestyle I now smile and reply ‘sounds interesting’.
Love your channel.😊
I appreciate your input
I don't want to go on a cruise either. I don't want to be stuck on a boat with the types of people I know go on a cruise. Lots of my work colleagues went on them and bought them years in advance. My idea of hell would be to board a ship and see one of these people!
I've always said make your life so great you won't need a vacation from it. Frugal security does that. Enjoy your farm.
@@deniseclendening5381 Since I retired, I live way out in the country in the old family homestead. My kids kept trying to make my life better by buying me the latest and greatest electronic gadgets. I did get a cell phone and a newer car, but asked them to quit buying me other stuff as it just sat around gathering dust. And I'd feel guilty for not using it. I explained I was trying to simplify my life and declutter my home. Not bring more stuff in. They get it now and, as they've aged, they realize how this lifestyle suits me.
I’d say to each his own. As long as you’re financially responsible and capable, you do what you want to do. Personally, I like to travel and cruise, so I do it and I can afford to do so. I understand some people don’t like to travel, not for the sake of being frugal, it’s just a choice and that’s to be respected. I like watching this channel because it’s not only about being frugal but mostly to serve as inspiration on being financially responsible with your finances
It’s nice to have savings and I am working hard on the frugal. I have been given lots of food for thought listening to you. Thank you both🙂
You can do it!
Your puppies are adorable!!
Love it Jane ,, ‘sod off and whilst you’re commenting on my life, don’t forget, it’s me that has taken early retirement and living well, doing the things I love and it’s me saying ‘sod off’ to horrible tick box, target driven work and bosses that get right on my mammary glands’
😄
@@lisag9493 very very well said
Quintessentially British “sod off” from Jane. Love it!
How many times I have had to say to myself "don't feed the trolls" - thank you for this message, very well said in a very polite manner (which can be very difficult to do sometimes)
You're welcome and thank you so much for taking the time to write a reply
Hi Jane, my perspective on your situation changed radically when, in a comment response to me a while back, you explained that you don’t have a pot of money anywhere but only the stream of income from your pensions to live off of. A light bulb went off for me and my regard and esteem for you rose tremendously in learning that you were living so well off just this stream of income which, I think you say quite often, is about equal to minimum wage in France. When you say you save a percentage of your income each month, I wonder if others think you have a large pot of money you are adding to each month somewhere like I did? Anyway, maybe I am the only one who didn’t get it, but when you say no one is coming to help and it’s up to you to make life work, I take my hat off to you guys for the great life you’ve built and maintain for yourselves! Cindy Olson
Thank you
I'm afraid i'm not that polite person, i say what i think, life is too short to listen to people who think their lifestyles are better than anyone else's. I'm frugal because i love being so, mortgage and debt free is a way of life for me, now saving and budgeting for my next car
Well said
Dear Jane, you know, when you put your thoughts, ideas and views publicly on display here on TH-cam, of course you will get responds. People don't understand you, and perhaps you don't understand them, or their point of view. Thankfully, we all have the right to our opinions, and perhaps they are not meaning to offend you. What is money for? Its a tool. If you have enough to pay your bills, a healthy buffer and prioritize to save up for travelling, or a new kitchen or whatever it is, before the mortgage is paid off, I would say go for it! PS, I have another quote from Dave Ramsey that I love; "You can't fix money problems with money".
@@ibislife it wasn’t a response here or else where online….it’s to my face.
@@FrugalQueeninFrance Ok, I missed that. Then your response was milder than they deserved! 😄
"Don't take advice from broke people" is by far some of the best advice ever.
Very true
Luckily we don't have those type of interactions. We also don't discuss our finances or political views. I do realize this vlog is to help people. I think you truly want to help people.
I don't want those interactions but I promise you people make a point of telling me their personal opinions to my face
@@FrugalQueeninFrance I think it's terrible. I think they are trying to get a rise out of you. I would say if possible, just smile and move along.
I love it when you get feisty x
As an american I had to google sod off, I might start useing this one😊😊😊😊.
It is your life ! And you answer to yourself and your conscience. And if you think they are talking sense, then fix whatever mistakes you have made and keep on walking. And if you think they are talking nonsense, ignore!!! The purpose of knowledge and education is to try and know the difference between a false narrative and a true one. In this world we need a backbone. We cannot let the unkind and aggressive world outside define us. We must stand up and approve of ourselves unconditionally with love. Keep up the good work. ❤
I have a close friend that is so opinionated about my spending decisions that i am very limited in what i can tell her just so i can protect myself from the unwanted advice.
Well done
That I am alive, healthy, and financially solvent and really enjoying every day of my life proves to myself and others that my decision to live frugally in retirement was the correct path for me. I don't need anyone else's approval! It's nice if they approve but not necessary!😂
I always find it amazing that people have so many opinions on how someone chooses to spend or not spend their money. The basic fact is that is their money to with what they see fit. I have had comments about not buying a coffee or lunch while at work. I don’t have to but I did explain that I prefer to use my money to go on a four week overseas holiday every year 😊
Happy travels
Being frugal is our choosing. I don’t make demands on other’s choices so I don’t let their opinions affect me. 😊
Great video!! Absolutely - they can sod off☺️
Absolutely!!
Being frim America I'm not exactly sure what sod off means but I can take a pretty good guess!😉
You guessed right
Thanks for "I don't owe you an explanation.". I needed that!.
Glad it was helpful!
Bless your sweet girls! And bless you both for making it very clear to the (unwitting?) trolls out there who always bring a bit of unnecessary negativity along with them. I appreciate you and your channel so much. To me, you epitomize what I WANT to be, and trust me, I have a long way to go! I am moving in the right direction with your lead by example attitude. Keep up the excellent work, Jane and Michael! For the thousands out there that religiously follow your channel, you continue to inspire us to be better. ❤ 🐾 ❤ 🐾
Not trolls, real people to my face
Spot on. Other people don't have the right to make your decisions. My parents supported my frugal efforts and I have friends that understand also. My brother is the only one who has had negative comments and he is 67 with a mortgage and still having to work. I like my peaceful slumber at night knowing im doing whats necessary to improve my future, though there's no guarantee that I've saved enough.
Good for you!
This was wonderful! One of the reasons I love to watch your videos is because you are so upbeat and you really like your life. I love your inspiration.
@@carolbaril9513 thanks so much
When my children were young, I had a reused gallon zip baggie full of scavenged shoe laces, child& adult!, muhusband alaways made fun of me for this UNTIL, one dsy in the way out the door to s breakfast business meeting, his shoe lace snapped, he came into where I was feeding the children & asked do you have any X shoe laces, I pointed to the drawer where the bsggie of shoe laces lived, I dont know, the baggie is in there, hsve a look!, he did & found a like new replacement!mhe never teased me about that baggie sgain.
Did you know you can remove white laces,soak them in bleach water for a while, wash& line dry,iron if needed and you hsve like near laces! Many children athletic shoes clean up well, with a few wipes from a rsg sprsyed with allpurpise cleaning spray( ive used 409 in the past, I bet dawn cut with water would work too.).😊
Great tips
Because we were brought up to be polite, we waste our time on other people’s stupid comments. People these days think they have a right to poke their noses in to other people’s business and are themselves extremely rude in doing so. You are absolutely right in that we don’t have to explain/justify ourselves to them and “sod off” sends exactly the right message to them! Thanks Jane and Mike. 💐
💯 agree we are mortgage free, I’ve had people comment that we’ve had help from parents etc. everything we own we worked hard for. I’m now 50 I’m hoping to retire in the next 5-10 years my son is only 7. But with the right planning I can do it I’m sure
Hah.. - so these are the same people who when you were saving and contributing into your pension and they chose to take the money now ( instead of contributing into their pension) because it was important “‘live now” and always was on a cruise or long haul holiday because you have to experiences… right??… jacks me right off when years later they then say “oh you are so LUCKY’ because you can buy a car and have comfort in retirement - it so unfair’. As if LUCK had anything to do with it .. I can’t seem to recall the magic money fairy coming down and shaking the tree….I always reflect how short their memories are..
Too right they can sod off😂
@@DebbieinNWiltshire it's never luck.
Wonderful video!! This is a very common phenomenon! Jealous people Id say that cant be happy for us! Thanks Jane! My sister from another mother. 😘❤️
So true!
Here here!! Well said Mike and Jane!!
Wait until you are 65, you will just tell people to "sod" off. No explanation necessary! 😂
I may indeed
Hi Mike and Jane, the following is nothing exactly to do with your video topic but I ordered The Clever Fox Budget Planner which arrived this afternoon - small but compact and I have already started making use of this, so thank you for your suggesting this Budget Planner - I have now done away with online finances. Have a blessed rest of the week💖🤗
Wonderful!
Jane and Mike, thank you for all the great content! We have tried many times to save money and stop living paycheck to paycheck, but it never seemed to work for us. Since we started watching you, we have completely turned our finances around. At first, frugal living was difficult, but now we actually enjoy it. It gives us great peace of mind. Thank you so much!!
I’m so pleased to hear that
I don't discuss with people our budget or how we are trying to be more frugal,except for 2 friends who are moderately frugal.
I would say if I had to, "it's not your beeswax." In teaching elementary kids, I would say that to kids that were repeat tattlers, trying to get another child in trouble. They got the message to mind their own business and not carry tales.
Well said
Feisty Jane! You tell ‘em!
It’s so interesting that you would discuss this now. We inherited sone money and are having a company renovate our bathroom to make it totally accessible for our disabled son. It is expensive but we have the money and we are only planning on doing it once so we are doing it right. The amount of criticism we have faced is unreal, all from people whose opinions we could care less about. We definitely live in a judgmental world these days!
People can be plonkers!
@@FrugalQueeninFrance With alarming frequency these days, Jane!
Well said Jayne 👏💐
Debbie-Texas. We just bought a new to us car, cash. Our other car was 18 yr old and we saved for the new one, we have a budget similar to yours. We budget n save. No mortgage, no debt, we are retired and did so early. No we're not rich, we just live as our parents. Thank you! It's no bodies business!
Thanks
Jane, you will usually find that people who comment in an accusery way about your frugality will comment about everything you do or don't do. When I was younger I found it hurtful, but now I take no notice. I feel in some way they are jealous.
I think they know they haven’t been sensible
Very well said.
Well said Jane 😂
In 11 months I have doubled my savings, that feels so good and helps me stay on my path. I have to stand up to myself, not to other people, and to the voices in my head that tell me to spend, I deserve to have nice things, I deserve to have nice experiences, you only live once, and so on. I have to tell that voice to sod off, lol and remind myself that I want to have a future.
Great job!
I get a lot of people saying I couldn’t manage just on a pension, I think they are envious and just don’t want to change their lifestyle, but know one day they will have to, and are really a bit frightened of their future, we traded down to a smaller house in a smaller town to become freehold get out of debt and have a comfortable lifestyle, a lot of people don’t want to do that, so by saying snarky things to u makes them feel better, good on you Jane and Mike keep doing wot u do, and yes people can sod off, thanks for your cute doggie videos at the end 😊 ❤
Thank you
Go Jane! You don't owe anyone an explanation. I worked previously with some British people and just loved it when they got feisty and said sod off or piss off.
Indeed
So right! Thank you.
You are so welcome
Great information as always and your doggie in the mirror😂
Always!
I remember being utterly flabbergasted about 25 years ago when I started to save for an apartment and a friend of mine got mad at me when I told her I couldn't go on a vacation with her to Morocco. I didn't have the money and she got even more mad at me because in her eyes, I was lying... since I had savings. For an apartment. So I did have money and was just being mean. I have to say that kind of logic is totally not logicing to me....vDo people not understand the meaning of savings and goals?
Glad you stuck to your principles
@@FrugalQueeninFrance ❤ I do have to say.... 25 years later one of us has a mortgage free flat, and it's not my former friend...
My frugality (and my husband's to some extent), has enabled us to face an uncertain future with a lot less worry than we otherwise would have had. I still remember the day in September when I watched the morning news and saw the towers crumbling. Who knew what the repercussions would be? Having a frugal & prepping lifestyle is very calming. Especially as one gets older and their ability to earn extra money is vastly reduced, being able to save is extremely important. Those who sneer at it, well, they had better not come to my door when the need arises.
Good point
❤️❤️❤️ 👵🏻
Hi Jane. Just a heads up. More channels are getting hit with A.I. Trolls lately…of course there’s the regular ones. 🙄 Bravo for sticking to your guns. 👍
Beautifully said!!
Thank you!😊
👍👍👍
Great thumbnail
Well said Jane!
@@Disflop cheers
“The question is: ‘Why *aren’t* you?’ “
I think you are the clever ones Jane and Michael. You are an inspiration to me.
Hear hear 👏 👍 well said 😊
Thanks for listening
You had me in tears today, what you daid reallyresonated with me
❤
It is really no one’s business but your own!
Your advice about not needing to explain yourself to anyone reminded me of a line from the Irish movie "The Quiet Girl" - "Many's the person that missed the opportunity to say nothing, and lost much because of it." (It is a GREAT film!) Thanks for your video!
Love that!
I so agree with you. Great video.
You are absolutely right. I’m Dutch and always tell people off when they criticize me for being frugal. I used to be in debt for years but one day I realized what I was doing and changed my life. I don’t have much income but live on my own and paid off my €10.000 debt by becoming very frugal. It took years but the feeling it gave me was freedom. I don’t have to be afraid that I can’t pay a bill or that if something happens I can’t pay to replace it and that gives such a good feeling. Knowing that I do have savings now instead of debt just really gives me freedom and that is so much better than someone having vacations and loads of stuff but no money in the bank.
Well said
Totally agree. Well said!
Damn right, Jane! 😎
❤️❤️❤️
Great video 😊
Thanks! 😊
Exactly!!
Rock on! 😊💜
Love this video. ❤
My husband and i value our time with each other and our dog rather than material things. We buy what we need and thats it. I treasure a cup of tea and yhe three of us sitting together watching a tv or going for a walk on the beach over walking around a shopping centre or endlessly scrolling online shopping. I also love my crafts and fitness. I got told ive got a small mind because of this...but im happy 😊
Love that!
100%!
Yes!
Nil desperandum - well said you, keep doing what you do, we love you
Thanks Roz
I love you channel ❤
Thank you
Often people are really mad at themselves for not making better financial decisions but won’t admit they are part of their own problem. I’m debt free and I made choices to get there. I know I am blessed to be in this position but I worked to be here.
Well said
No one should have to justify their decisions (especially about frugality) because there will always be people who, for whatever reason, live beyond their means….. and they will always have a reason why they NEED that new car, furniture, clothing, or the bigger house etc., and they will always RESENT those who are prepared to live under their means in order to have a safe future, and security if something unfortunate happens in their lives. You cannot reason with a brick wall , because a brick wall is completely and totally inflexible! When they fall…..boy oh boy, they crash big time, and they are left standing in the rubble.
We frugal people have learned to bend, so that we do not break, and when faced with a dilemma, we are flexible and are able to bounce back.
Sharon in Australia
🇦🇺 🦘
@@sharonparsons9804 thanks for your reply