Thanks for watching my video. If you'd like to learn more about the 5 stages that I mention in the video, check out this playlist over here: th-cam.com/video/qWHF_Qmv1hM/w-d-xo.html
Is it possible to had a quick conversation with you or a call clay ? it might save my marriage , my heart too !! I had a situation need to react quick , it had been more than a month and this signs all happens , i want make sure doing the right thing before its too late
And what if I am already passing through these phases, even tho' we broke up recently? She likes to drink beer with me, she mentions platonic relationship, she likes to play video games with me, etc. And she discourages me from re-entering into relationship with her again. What should I do?
Some guys are foolish, they'll realize our worth once where gone and What I hate the most is when they insert more effort to convince us to Come back again but when you are still together we can't even feel their presence.
1. 00:36 Pull-back (The REAL you conflicts with their projection of "you") and don't trust the real you 2. 3:12 Discourage from trying to get back with them (to make it easier for them) even though you two have an emotional connection 3. 5:45 move to the next level (past platonic, but into grey area, flirting) 4. 7:17 willing to talk on an emotional level, and be more vulnerable 5. 7:55 They want to know, "Are you dating anyone else?"
My ex has all the signs and we are kind of making some progress. I was just honest to her about my feelings after she asked to be her friend. I told her you are not friend you are family. Our relationship was positive and healthy I was just being too needy and she is 20 and we dated for 2 years. She asked me to move on and I said I will move on from the relationship but I do have feelings for u but I dont want to force you to do something that you dont want to do. I just stopped messaging her all the time and now she is reaching out and she is so warm toward me. Pray for me ❤😋 I know I've got this
You're describing my ex's attitude right now. He said it. I just don't want to be hurt again. So he's seeing my interaction, I'm trying to be always positive and be consistent to regain his trust again.
Thank you Lucia. I really appreciate this. I know a several of the other coaches personally you may have seen, and I think that many of them are quite sharp. It's good to know that you think highly of me as well :)
We broke up because my mental illness took the best out of me and I hurt him 💔. But I truly change and I am now able to control my anxiety and I fixed many of my problems.
I'm sorry to hear that your mental illness took a toll on your relationship. But geat to hear that you have taken the step to work on getting better. :-) Good job on that.
I have been very well behaved, not contacting. However, my tendency to hone in on videos like this just underscores My Wish for some hopeful sign that I have missed. It is fallacy to think one can turn off their feelings like a machine. And it is folly to think that the fantasy of a wonderful reunion would be the reality..
It's true that a person cannot turn off their feelings with the snap of a finger. If you suppress them they will come out in other ways. The fantasy of reconciliation can be nice, but ultimately, we have to look at what is real and what is in front of us, not clinging to a groundless fantasy. If there is some evidence to support the possibility of getting back together, then there is nothing wrong exploring what is possible. But fantasy alone will not get you there. Neither will solely doing No Contact. If No Contact is the only tool in your toolbox, you're going to have a hard time.
Sounds so much like my ex, except he's not willing to talk about anything to do with feelings, just things that don't directly relate to our relationship. He's currently in the avoiding and posturing phase.
Just focus your interactions based on what he can offer emotionally. In that way, he won't be in an uncomfortable emotional place to build that interaction with you.
Your videos are great. I have a son with my ex so I speak to and see her a lot. We broke up about 3 months ago. At first I thought there was nothing there, like she was pretty much indifferent to me, but in the last month she's really warmed to me and we talk like we used to. I've noticed some of these signs you've mentioned and she's pretty much admitted to me that she's unhappy and lonely, but doesn't want to get my hopes up. We're going out as a family this weekend for the first time since the split. I'm staying grounded but still optimistic. Keep up the good work. Your ideas are much more realistic than some of the 'game playing' suggested by other coaches.
Hi Clay🙂 I thought my ex and me would reunite one day but after watching this video now I’m more sure we will. We have 4 of the 5 signs here! I visit him periodically in the shop where he works and he is definitely showing the first 4 signs to me mentioned here! He just needs to finish with the rebound now. Please pray we reunite Clay. Thankyou for this insight here! My small hope for me and the ex that I had, has grown to a much bigger hope now. I will be much more sensitive to his emotional temperature(you always say, which I so like)from now on Clay🙂 Please pray that me and him reunite. thanks again Clay🙂🙂
@@ClayAndrews thankyou again Clay for everything you do...and freely most things too - definitely the best coach there is on the internet for sure...🥰🥰🙂🙂
I can't stop laughing that all of these videos are EXACTLY what I needed to pay attention to but didn't see any of it until it was all awful and almost 100% gone for good.
In life, we really don't know what we got until we lose them. But our experiences can teach us lessons that we can bring along as we mature in life. :-)
Wow, you literally just described every step of my mentality when I was trying to figure out if I wanted to get back together with my ex. I had no idea what was going through my mind was so textbook or predictable. Too bad during “crisis point” he got off the train and decided to move on with the person he was talking to. Thank you for making this video. I now understand the logic of what I was going through emotionally the last half of last year.
There is no room for this stuff when one does want kids and leave and the other one doesn't and gets dumped...It's a major deal breaker and no coaching/sing/trick can bring her back.
Hey Elzazo, that is why we have to be realistic about the situation. There are relationships that can be worked upon and not depending on how the values of the two individuals in the relationship.
It’s like you can see into my relationship with my ex. I know he wants to get back together. He tells me we’re never going to have a relationship again but his actions don’t match that. He says he’s never leaving his new girlfriend. He says he’s confused because he has a new gf and he has me. So I’m taking this advice and backing wayyy off and going to live my life and concentrate on me. Keep the emotional connection because we have our own language and kids together, but take the pressure off him.
well, my gf was mad at me basically when she broke up w me. she told me i shouldnt wait for her and to go find other girls. but she said its over, she did say she wanted to be friends but then i got her angry and she said she doesnt wanna hear from me anymore. btw u look like my philosophy teacher
My ex and I had this, we got really close, but now he has pulled right back saying there must be something that feels not right...but he can't figure our what, and still wants to see me, but only laconic as any touchy stuff feels like a relationship, and he doesn't want that atm, and he says if we get back together he'd probably marry me, so he needs to be sure...
Everyone my ex and me hang out he ends up coming up to me and kissing me like emotionally kissing and he says he can't help it never fails always happens
Hi well my ex broke up with due to financial issues so last night she texted me she loves me an misses me an misses us but she said ur still in the same situations she then said be safe an take care of ur self
Hi Dave, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup. Since you are already aware of the reason why your ex broke up with you, that is something that you have to focus on. Once you gained your financial stability back, you can start then on working connection with her. :-) All the best.
I clicked on this video thinking none of these signs or if any only like one of these signs would actually be there, but really just watching it out of curiosity and now I'm realizing my ex is doing every single one of these down to even your details you said in this video. Now I'm stuck and idk what to do because I want to get back together, but I don't. We didn't have a bad breakup or anything, but I'm just not sure what to do right now lol.
Hi Kayla, Have you done Active No Contact and worked on learning and practicing the Advanced Relational Skills? This are the most important phase of the process that we have to work on before initiating contact with our ex.
He's....exhibited about 4 of the signs...however the last one...like he hasn't exhibited since the breakup but back when we just started dating and we took a break for like a month...he asked it then because he thought that would have been it.
Thanks Clay I needed to hear this . Now I have a better understanding about my ex this what she’s doing to me right now .I hope it’s true what you are saying
I was working on creating a positive interaction till she decided to give me attitude and pushed me away so I walked away and have not talked to her. She loves to play mind games on social media and bash on me. I just stopped trying. Now I am back to the no contact. I am stuck.
Hi Patrick, I'm sorry to hear about that. Maybe it's time to assess the character of the person that you are trying to get back if it fits your personal values in having a healthy relationship. At the end of the day, a good relationship is also bound with a certain level of respect. All the best.
My ex and I dated for around two months. He broke up with me because he said school and work was too overwhelming for him since he's in pharmacy school and he said a lot of family stuff going on and offered to be friends instead so that way we "could keep each other in each other's lives, but not see each other as often." We broke up at the end of August but we still kept talking to each other frequently until October and all of the sudden he stopped replying to my messages and watching my snapchat stories. I felt like he was ghosting me so then I just planned to message him when I knew his school was on break in December. I proceeded to message him on snapchat cuz then I could tell if he read the message or not since he has a Samsung and I have an iPhone so I can't tell if he's read it or not if I send him a text. He never ended up even opening the snapchat. So then a few weeks later (January 3rd), I ended up texting him a message about how I apologized for my behavior from before and told him that I was grateful he broke up with me. Surprisingly, he ended up responding to me and said he still wanted to be friends. He would take at least a day to respond to my messages but then he just stopped replying to all together after a few days of texting. I then sent him a final text message almost three weeks ago explaining how I felt to him and that I don't mind being friends but I felt disrespected cuz it felt like he wasn't treating me in a friendly manner. He never responded to the text. All I want to do is just to talk to him to see where he's at. I don't understand why he's treating me like this. I'm ok with being friends with him but I'm tired of his "hot and cold" behavior. What should I do to get him to talk to me again? I was thinking about just waiting until the summer to reach out again just to let things die down. I don't even want a romantic relationship with him at this point, I just want him to talk to me and stop ignoring me. What should I do to get him to talk to me again? Please help Clay :(
Hi Callum, If your ex just broke up with her rebound, give her some time to heal and process her emotions. It is important that we have to be sensitive to what she is going through. All the best.
I JUST WANTED TO THNAK YOY FOR EVERYTHINGS @Clay Andrews , I APPLIED WHAT YOU SAID WITH MY EX AND WE ARE COME BACK AGAIN IT’S VERY EASY LIKE YOU SAID ( JUST FOCUS ON EMOTIONAL CONNECTION , JUST FOCUS ON REALLY LOVE YOUR EX WHEN YOU SEE HER , JUST FOCUS ON BEING HONEST AND CLEAR WITH HER , ONLY SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER , AND BELIEVE ME SHE WILL COME BACK ❤️❤️❤️🖤🖤🖤
@@ClayAndrews help me please my ex broke up with me 8 months ago _ because she was in contact with her ex , she kissed me and applogized to me but i made a fight with her so she left me _ after that i was pleading to come back _ after that i made a fight with her because i thought she was in a rebound relationship _ after that i was pleading again to come back AFTER I SAW YOUR VIDEOS me and my ex met for the first time after breaking up 1 month ago and it was good.... then we talked for 3 days ( she was hot ) then she started to disappear for a week ( she was cold ) then she called me ( she was hot ) then we met again for the second time 3 days ago ( she was is CRISES POINT ) ( she told me she is unsure yet and she want time PLATONIC LEVEL ) ( i told her i want you and i will be there for you ) ( she said I LOVE YOU TOO for the first time after breaking up ) and it was good....... then she called me 2 days ago to meetup with her after her work but after she finished her work she didnt call me yesterday i called her but she didn't respond HELP ME PLEAAASE should i contact her again when she dont reply ?? should i tell her that i am angry from this behaviour ?? i'm started to lose my control :@ :@
@@ClayAndrews please help me , i have 2 questions after i met my ex again , she was in crises point and i told her that i love her and she said to me I LOVE YOU TOO and it was good the day after she called me to meetup with her after her work but she didn't respond to my call for 2 days 1- should i call her again when she don't reply ? or i wait for her to call me back ? 2- should i tell her that i'am angry from this behaviour ? ( HOT AND COLD )
I wish one of u coaches would do a vid on how to get over the betrayal of a friend knowing ur not over ur ex, knowing u still love him and snatching him up and filling his head up with and then causing drama and bs at ur work place where u all work together!!!! And him believeing she’s the innocent one!!!!
I’m over him but her and I were friends for all but 12 years of my life and I’m 47! I can’t believe she did that shit to me and wonders why I won’t talk to her! I had to change my number cause of her and she has ppl trying to add me to Snapchat!!!!
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this in your journey, dmitrih4714. We understand how hard this must be for you. We hope that you are holding on well. Hope your ex will likewise find that inner peace within her. All the best.
Even though my ex-girlfriend is with another boy, I still see her and talk to her often and in some ways I feel that she loves me but doesn’t actually say that they still love me and I want to know what is going on but she really does still love me deepdown even though she is with someone else
Gotta say i really hope youre right.... My situation is still quite fresh. He left 3 weeks ago, is on the rebound, and im 9 months pregnant. So the no contact rule has been difficult to follow
Hi Chryssi, I'm sorry to hear about what happened and this might be tough for you given your pregnancy. We understand that it may not be possible to have full No Contact but if you and your ex had an agreement that he has to support you throughout the pregnancy, you have to focus on that area without leaning towards being emotional towards him as of the moment. That is how you can apply Limited Active No Contact. All the best.
Thank you for responding! Its pretty rough staying away from the emotional stuff while my hirmones are so high. Hes gotten to the point already where he is more emotionally available, and i try to listen to him rather than spit out my problems. Your videos are a HUGE help. I would totally sign uo for your program, but my current situation leaves me financially strained lol
Hi Chryssi , that's totally fine if you can't join our program for now. It is important to prepare yourself financially especially that you are pregnant. You can use the money on more important matters. You can always check on our TH-cam videos as it may help you as well. Please do surround yourself with supportive people like family and friends aside from your ex. You needed more support from those people as well, especially in your current situation. Sending more positive energies on your end.
Mine said were not getting back together, I’m doing no contact day 17, after that runs it’s course I’m considering removing herself off my Snapchat. She can see my stories, I can see here but choose not to view hers. As far as Far as I’m concerned, she has no business knowing what I’m up to
Hello clay for me its so sad because i know i dont own him anymore its been a hard time for us since he is not happy with his married, life but for me life must go on i know someday i can find the right one for me, i know its hard because we have the same feeling. i must let him go, Actually i move on but since am ok now, hes the one making the move to come back to me.. I told him its too late and you are already married..thats the sad part..😔
You have to be careful not to become a "robo texter" who just contacts your ex every X days. You have to stay present to the quality of the interactions between you and them. You have to stay tuned in to what feels good and where they are at emotionally. With that being said, there is no set rule. If the interactions between you and your ex are strong, then there is no harm in continuing to contact them. But as soon as the quality of the connection starts to slip, then it's time to dial it back. Maybe they just need space due to what they are going through... Or maybe there is something off about the connection between you and them.
I’m tending to stick to phone calls as the emotional connection seems much stronger this way she opens up about what’s going on in her life and how she feels where as by text she can often be blunt I’m just wary of overdoing the phone calls I guess thanks for the great advice keep doing your great work.
I’ve got to be at riding the dragon or crisis point. Or somewhere in between 🤔 My ex knows that every time we hangout, she’s gonna have a great time. She acknowledged that too. She’ll talk about when we should see each other again while we’re hanging out too. Definitely some flirting going on on her end too. I’m not at new beginnings yet though. Awhile ago I asked her what our chances of getting back together were and she told me she didn’t know and that I should date other people. The thing is I’m pretty sure at that point I was at riding the dragon. Just gonna keep up the positive interactions. If and when I get back together with my ex, best believe you will be the first to know Clay and your subscribers.
I told him that I liked his posts coz he was active in training and it inspired me. Then he started to compare his body to his friends( who’s post I was liking) my friends say he’s jealous but idk...
My ex and I have been apart for almost seven months. She said she wanted space and when I ask tell me why..... The response was I don't have to tell you anything. I've been working on myself seeing a therapist because commitment is the one thing I cannot seem to get right in my life. Can you offer me some clarification here? KG
My ex has just done the positive pull back. We spent the memorial weekend at the lake together and she was all about me most of the time. She would come and sit in my lap a lot or hug up to me and we had a great time all weekend. She got home Monday night and was texting me and said she had a good time but was worried we may be doing too much. She said she didn’t have any intentions of getting back together at this point and didn’t want to lead me on and we were friends. She said she was scared we will jump back into a relationship and it will just go back like it was. Her actions this weekend said one thing and now her words are saying a completely different thing. We had plans for this week on Thursday and again on Saturday. I am not sure how to handle this now and am just trying my best to stay steady while she is wavering back and forth. Any tips?
Update for 4 weeks later...I actually went into a limited contact and let her reach out to me and now she has come back and has planned a long weekend vacation at the beach we leave for tonight and then we will be back for 3 days and go spend 5 days together for the 4th of July at the lake. All planned by her. She’s also sending me things about working on our relationship and understanding each other better. Stay the course! It gets better!
What if your ex maybe have been in the crisis stage? They tell you to date other Woman. That they are dating other men. You tell them they must not still be interested in you ( me) . You tell them not to contact you again. Is that an emotional reply on my behalf? If so , how do I repair it?
How you doing clay so my ex broke up with me a week ago we just came back from Vegas we were supposed to get married in Vegas she called it off and said she’s not in love with me and not happy we have a kid together and we were engaged we were together for 3 years going on 4 what should I do all she says right now is pls stop I feel like we can make it work if we go to therapy
First of all, I think that she is going to be resistant to going to therapy right now. If she's already broken up with you, then therapy is going to be a pretty big leap for her. The first step is to understand why she backed out of getting married. Was there anything that you are aware of that would cause her to second guess her choice to marry you? If so then that is the first thing to address.
They don't come back. They become indifferent and that's worse than hate. Screw all this. No contact does not work. Stop believing in wizardry or magic or Santa Claus. Yes Im bitter and want my ex back but it won't happen. Here's how to get them back. Keep them in the first place. They may be exactly what you need.
My ex use to reach out to me only on holidays to wish me and on my birthday.We are from a different states which we met each other in workplace where we work as part time job. He brokeup with me last November choosing another girl over me which he recently met on a party and that girl is from his own hometown.Well he actually don't know that I know about this because I got to know from a mutual friends. But here I'm totally confused on one thing,he reached out to me like several times asking me help for money as he was living in other city which we have met. so,is it be right to help him or not? I want to help him but what if he is taking advantage of me ?because he know very well I love him so much and unconditionally. when he reached out to me he use insisted me to do a video call instead but I never do. At one point he even text me in fb saying, "I heard that you make a new boyfriend"? Last call was on 28th of Jan and don't heard about him after that... Any advice for me plis...I really want him and love him but I dnt know what to do..
All of your points was good except for the emotional part he will say let’s talk but it doesn’t happen. We will make plans to and he will change his mind by saying I’m really tired or he has something to do. So I tried not pushing and after some time I asked was he still interested in having that talk he said yes I said OK he asked when I said when he was ready. he said OK and we have not had that talk.
As much as we wanted to have that "talk" with our ex, we have to consider their emotional readiness. If they flake out, it's a clear indication that they are not that 100% ready yet. It's better for both parties to have that emotional readiness that doing the "talk" prematurely.
I’ve been thru all these stages with my ex but she’s with a rebound, she’ll tell me she loves me send me old pictures of us and occasionally meet up with me for a walk (she’s lives near by and it is something we would do together at the start of the relationship) however she plays the hot and cold game way to much while going and posting her new guy but constantly checking up on my socials as well. I try and escalate to making actual plans but she’ll deflect and hangout with her friends or rebound instead which hurts me a lot. With that being said on our walks she is extremely affectionate (kissing, hugging) and we become intimate almost every time (go back to her place) she’ll ask if I’m seeing anyone else etc and that she still loves me while simultaneously posting this new guy doing things I want to do with her. She claims they aren’t together but makes post saying she has a boyfriend etc. I decided to put my foot down and tell her I’m good and that I don’t want to play her game and going into no contact yet again. She says she thinks the relationship has gone past saving and that she’s trying to move on but will then do all the behaviors I’ve mentioned prior. (Our relationship had major issues, resulted in a pretty bad event between us but even then we where together up until two months after when she had lied about a trip she went on and came following the rebound which is a family member of one of the girls in her friend group) her family and friends are not to fond of me either however they understand we both made mistakes to an extent. How do I proceed, this girl is genuinely my first love and I would love to give things a chance I was busy chasing cars and money for most of the relationship (have these things now) making new experiences and someone happy brought me way more joy rather then live in the same materialistic mindset. Any help to work things out
We’ve been apart for two months or so but I spent the first blowing her up now I go into periods of no contact for a week or two before she finds some reason to reach out ( usually in a childish manner like claiming I stalk her by driving by her car when we live on the same street which) and I can escalate to a walk but never past that into a date. However recently I Told her to not contact me via text after she spent the day sending me old pictures of us saying she loved me but then posted the new guy. Is this the right move? It bothers me a lot and it’s starting to feel like she’s just using me as an emotional crutch and leading me on she even claimed to be possibly pregnant with my kid!!! (Clearly not true she was drinking the next day, called her out on it as well and she claimed she took a test and it came back negative)
What happens when he says he sometimos feels like he wants to get back wirh me but if he makes that decision ever, i might not want him back anymore. But he knows i love him deeply, so of course i will take him back. I dont understand why he says that statement knowing himself that i totally will
thank you for this video Clay, my ex broke up with me a month ago and now he reached out to me and said that He want to win me back and he is doing all the signs that you mentioned on this video so now I think that he really want me back😊 BUT I don't know what to do now, I know in my heart I still love him but I'm afraid to trust him again, maybe because of the pain that I experienced during our break up. 😢 I really don't know what to do 😕
Went back to my ex and we got intimate and I didnt tell him why. Next night a woman calls and he told me that she is trying to keep us from getting intimate while she was on the phone. What was he doing and why?
My ex broke up with me 3 months ago, two months after the BU she went into rebound, 10 days she texted me awful things i just keepted cool, 10 days later the rebound relationship ended, now one week after she is like does not know me!!! Looks like she moved on!
Clay Andrews she tre days ago spoke about a guy that showed some intress in her during our relationship. She told a friend to ask a family member about how he is and so, despite she has already spoken with him or does it on messenger. She spoke about in infront of my cloest freind. We are coworkers.
Hi can u please help me. My husband and i separate 4 months now in the past 3 months im begging him and pleading him i told him give me a last change.because it's my fault i hurt him so many times and I did not respect him which is the main reason that why he tell me he lost his love for me.but this month i open up my feelings again to him I tell him don't call me or speak me because i hurt coz he tell me before we are never getting back together.we are married with one son.but this month he call me to tell me he is goin to minor surgery.but before he tell me he is over me.he still calling me but is not about our son.he calling to tell me what happening to him and to ask me how i am.what should I do.should I make the no contact to getting him back to me?
He called you to see how you're doing and to share what's happening with him. Assuming you are emotionally oaky enough to have an interaction with him, why would you want to do No Contact? Why not just connect with him? It seemed like he was open to connecting with you in that moment.
What if my ex is hot and cold with his emotions towards me. So one minute he’s nice the next he’s not. I was the one who originally broke off the relationship but we always tend to have emotional talks about why our relationship didn’t work and then we will connect on a deeper level. But it never tends to get us anywhere
My girlfriend got married. And it was done without knowing me. Actually we had a misunderstanding and it was because of me and she got me wrong and she was very upset and very much angry to me and after that she went to her home. then she decided to get marriage suddenly. Even the man she married I knew that she didn’t like him but she married him because she was angry to me and her family made the arrangement for this marriage. But now days she is trying to love him just because of her family wants to stay with him. And after married she got that she misunderstood me and she didn’t get me well before marriage. After married she came to me actually we were leaving together at home. And still we are together. Our relationship has been for last 2 years. And we had some great time, hangout, and sex recently after her marriage. But she wants to stay separate since she got married. Although We didn’t have clean break up or separation. And She told me I am her best friend she ever met. But she can’t marry me. But she wants my company always. And I think she still love me and she doesn’t want to miss me. Although her husband lives in another country and he can’t come to her for next two years. And here she is staying completely alone. But I don’t want to be her best friend. I want her as my life partner. I want to get her back to me at any cost. Earlier I was bit emotional and I wanted to live her immediately but she requested me to stay with her at least this month. And now I am behaving normally with her. Actually i love her so much even if we stay separate for sure I am going to miss her a lot. I was thinking for no contact rules after get separate but she told me she wants to talk or text to me everyday. And she wants to hangout or meet me very weekend. And already she got new home and me too. From next month we’ll stay separate. I know she still loves me but she told me she can’t divorce her husband. Because it was an arrange marriage by her family. And she decided to marry just because of angry to me. And also she cares me a lot and it’s May be because of sympathy. Now I don’t understand that at all what is it. Is it that she is using me or wants to spend time just because she is alone here currently Or she still love me, or it is sympathy for me. And I get real confuse that what should I do now? Should I use no contact rule, or live her alone, or keep in touch with her? Or something else? I really don’t know what to do now. Sometimes I get real crazy. And now I am unable to take all this pressure. Please give me a solution. I’ll be thankful forever.
Sir clay i hope you can read this. My wife broke up with me last december. At first ofc i do the wrong things begging crying name it i did it. I do no contact she reaches out. We live together for 7 years and we have a very beautiful daughter. The thing is i messed up everytime she reaches out i always want to get back asap. I always freak out and tell same bs everytime. She wants me to take care of my daughter every weekend. So the connection is always there. Everytime i freak out she still always give me a chance though shes so hard on me sometimes she reply to my messages sometimes she dont and its killin me. Theres a point she told me that she forgives me to all the bad things i made in the past that lead to break up and her love for me is the same she just needs time dor herself something that shes unable to have cause he dedicate her life to me and my daughter. And she will never love another man except her daughters father. Now shes not textin me again cause o freaked out again the other night cause im drunk. But before goin to sleep i always call her to check our daughter and so i can talk to her so i can hear her voice after a whole day of loneliness. Shes answering the call though after 3-5 times of calling before she answer. Shes tellin me what shes doin how she do things and what our daughter is doing. Sometimes she ask me who im with in our house. After we talk at night shes always in that tough mood i dont know how to explain it, she talks but act like she doesnt have emotion she always want me to feel confused or mad. Im thinking shes testing me. And everytime she will talk to other people she always says all she wants is me to change.
(#5 sigh) you are talking to her and she text back people are hitting on her and you had a good conversation about thing but two days after you asked her out and she say no
Mine ran got married lives for her kids however she calls me told me how much she loves me and her husband caught her she has to see it’s ok to love me because we do I’ve let god have it it’s in his hands what is meant will be
PAKA757 also read my other comment where she said she wants to get back together but cant because she says it’s wrong and that our problems wont change or be fixed
He didn't text in a week. Then we met next day. He said he still misses his ex. Did he say that meaning he wanted to break up with me ? Then he replied my short texts just said "Good morning" in few days later. I want to end this situation so texted him "Bye, Move on"
hello, My girlfriend broke up with me, last month 1 because we had an argument she graded me and so this made me violent that I fought her the first time because degrading me every time and then we solved and both agreed to change but she repeated that degrading thing and I also fought hard the second time and we solved where I included my family members and I promised never fight her, at that time I shifted for an interview to another location because we used to live together and we had just finished our studies 1 month later after I shifted she came to my place I had already applied job for her and she passed the interview but she didn't want to stay with because after I shifted due to job interview she joined online dating, so that day she came at my place I discovered that, and asked why politely and that's when she told me that she had never forgiven me after 2nd fight and she broke up with me and proposed to be friends. I begged her and after 1 week she started dating, but it didn't work well for her so I have been friend zone for 1 month I call her like 5 times a day and we talk and she also calls like twice a day I apply here for jobs, she also gives money to save for her in a different I opened for but, we are friends and am stacked what to do she says she does want to date again because she hates sex, and she does want me as lover, and to be with me because I broke her virginity, am extremely good for her and I have anger than that she says she loves me as friend , what should i do, in other words she says am extremely good and at the same I have anger issues. we are friends and we talk every day it has been 1 month what should I do to gain her love
In this 5 sign 3 of them I experienced in she usually go in happy talk and then move out silently. she don't talk to me about to get back but yes she keep saying to find a girl and make her your gf. and now after a month she starts to talk to me in certain time to time. finding excuse to talk an also said that she thinks me as a friend..
I'm sorry to hear about what is going on between you and your ex. Hope your communication with each other will improve further so you would be able to understand where you both are coming from emotionally. :-)
Clay Andrews he fell out of love with me so ended it. But led me on. After the break up, he annoyed me so many times. We were at a gig and he performed. While performing, he said on stage to the audience ‘relationships suck’. I was furious at him for humiliating me like that. I told him I was angry and he said to me ‘that was aimed towards my other ex’. There’s been a lot of tension between us. He is in my college course. We had our Easter holiday and it was great cuz I really needed to clear my mind. But now that I’m back at college, he stares at me. Yesterday he stared at me in the most uncomfortable way and I’m thinking to myself ‘what is he thinking when he’s staring at me?’
Dam what if i fell for the start talking to some one else because she had a rebound already. So I did and I let her know we started dating and she got mad. Man Im confused😔
Saw your channel and loved your energy I hope you can help me in my case My ex boyfriend left me a month back, I begged pleaded to him and his parents for a month...I even went to his house to meet his parents and begged them to help me He the removed all our pictures from social media Removed me from social media Idk if hes seeing anyone else or not I really love him and want him back He broke up by saying he's been unhappy from a long time and he doesn't love me anymore! Plz tell me what should I do?
Thanks for watching my video. If you'd like to learn more about the 5 stages that I mention in the video, check out this playlist over here: th-cam.com/video/qWHF_Qmv1hM/w-d-xo.html
Is it possible to had a quick conversation with you or a call clay ? it might save my marriage , my heart too !! I had a situation need to react quick , it had been more than a month and this signs all happens , i want make sure doing the right thing before its too late
And what if I am already passing through these phases, even tho' we broke up recently? She likes to drink beer with me, she mentions platonic relationship, she likes to play video games with me, etc. And she discourages me from re-entering into relationship with her again. What should I do?
He has all the signs in this video hop everything is gonna turn out well
What the hell? So we have to give them the feeling that we can be their safety net? That doesn't sound healthy. 5:25
Some guys are foolish, they'll realize our worth once where gone and What I hate the most is when they insert more effort to convince us to Come back again but when you are still together we can't even feel their presence.
Same goes for girls
Amen
So true i think guys and girls do this because i did this even if i feel terrible which i should feel💔💔 because i treated someone horribly.
A New Love Official what were you bringing to the table tho?
Try to look first the situation my ex said i disregards her but she said i doesant care on her but iam far bcouse were LDR and i have a work
1. 00:36 Pull-back (The REAL you conflicts with their projection of "you") and don't trust the real you
2. 3:12 Discourage from trying to get back with them (to make it easier for them) even though you two have an emotional connection
3. 5:45 move to the next level (past platonic, but into grey area, flirting)
4. 7:17 willing to talk on an emotional level, and be more vulnerable
5. 7:55 They want to know, "Are you dating anyone else?"
THANK YOU
My ex has all the signs and we are kind of making some progress. I was just honest to her about my feelings after she asked to be her friend. I told her you are not friend you are family. Our relationship was positive and healthy I was just being too needy and she is 20 and we dated for 2 years. She asked me to move on and I said I will move on from the relationship but I do have feelings for u but I dont want to force you to do something that you dont want to do. I just stopped messaging her all the time and now she is reaching out and she is so warm toward me. Pray for me ❤😋 I know I've got this
I wish u the best of luck! how is it going so far?
Great job you good sir!
U right about that one u say i love u she becomes like a family member ..
Fail
Arshia Alexander good luck bro bro
You're describing my ex's attitude right now. He said it. I just don't want to be hurt again. So he's seeing my interaction, I'm trying to be always positive and be consistent to regain his trust again.
you are one of the best dating coaches on TH-cam and your advice is very valuable. Keep up the good work.
Thank you Lucia. I really appreciate this. I know a several of the other coaches personally you may have seen, and I think that many of them are quite sharp. It's good to know that you think highly of me as well :)
@@ClayAndrews I agree entirely with the comment here, Clay...you are really the best coach, for sure👍🏻🙂👌🏻👏🏻
We broke up because my mental illness took the best out of me and I hurt him 💔. But I truly change and I am now able to control my anxiety and I fixed many of my problems.
I'm sorry to hear that your mental illness took a toll on your relationship. But geat to hear that you have taken the step to work on getting better. :-) Good job on that.
I have been very well behaved, not contacting. However, my tendency to hone in on videos like this just underscores My Wish for some hopeful sign that I have missed. It is fallacy to think one can turn off their feelings like a machine. And it is folly to think that the fantasy of a wonderful reunion would be the reality..
It's true that a person cannot turn off their feelings with the snap of a finger. If you suppress them they will come out in other ways. The fantasy of reconciliation can be nice, but ultimately, we have to look at what is real and what is in front of us, not clinging to a groundless fantasy. If there is some evidence to support the possibility of getting back together, then there is nothing wrong exploring what is possible. But fantasy alone will not get you there.
Neither will solely doing No Contact. If No Contact is the only tool in your toolbox, you're going to have a hard time.
Sounds so much like my ex, except he's not willing to talk about anything to do with feelings, just things that don't directly relate to our relationship. He's currently in the avoiding and posturing phase.
Just focus your interactions based on what he can offer emotionally. In that way, he won't be in an uncomfortable emotional place to build that interaction with you.
Your videos are great. I have a son with my ex so I speak to and see her a lot. We broke up about 3 months ago. At first I thought there was nothing there, like she was pretty much indifferent to me, but in the last month she's really warmed to me and we talk like we used to. I've noticed some of these signs you've mentioned and she's pretty much admitted to me that she's unhappy and lonely, but doesn't want to get my hopes up. We're going out as a family this weekend for the first time since the split. I'm staying grounded but still optimistic.
Keep up the good work. Your ideas are much more realistic than some of the 'game playing' suggested by other coaches.
Hi Clay🙂
I thought my ex and me would reunite one day but after watching this video now I’m more sure we will.
We have 4 of the 5 signs here!
I visit him periodically in the shop where he works and he is definitely showing the first 4 signs to me mentioned here!
He just needs to finish with the rebound now.
Please pray we reunite Clay. Thankyou for this insight here!
My small hope for me and the ex that I had, has grown to a much bigger hope now. I will be much more sensitive to his emotional temperature(you always say, which I so like)from now on Clay🙂
Please pray that me and him reunite.
thanks again Clay🙂🙂
Thanks for the nice comment. I'm happy that things seem to be looking good for you. Best wishes with everything moving forward.
I’m praying 🤲🏾
Update?
@@ClayAndrews thankyou again Clay for everything you do...and freely most things too
- definitely the best coach there is on the internet for sure...🥰🥰🙂🙂
@@danielbrown8602 still riding the very temperamental dragon ride, what about you?
I can't stop laughing that all of these videos are EXACTLY what I needed to pay attention to but didn't see any of it until it was all awful and almost 100% gone for good.
In life, we really don't know what we got until we lose them. But our experiences can teach us lessons that we can bring along as we mature in life. :-)
Thank clay I wasn't a fan of your channel at first but this video has given me closure
That's great to hear, Hero. :-)
Wow, you literally just described every step of my mentality when I was trying to figure out if I wanted to get back together with my ex. I had no idea what was going through my mind was so textbook or predictable. Too bad during “crisis point” he got off the train and decided to move on with the person he was talking to. Thank you for making this video. I now understand the logic of what I was going through emotionally the last half of last year.
There is no room for this stuff when one does want kids and leave and the other one doesn't and gets dumped...It's a major deal breaker and no coaching/sing/trick can bring her back.
Hey Elzazo, that is why we have to be realistic about the situation. There are relationships that can be worked upon and not depending on how the values of the two individuals in the relationship.
Man, all of these have been present
I think I'm in the crisis point. She's been calling me to talk often recently, then today she messaged me saying she just wants to be friends.
She's telling me I can do better and tells me to move on. I told her I'd wait. I got 4 out 5 signs. I give it 2 weeks.
It’s like you can see into my relationship with my ex. I know he wants to get back together. He tells me we’re never going to have a relationship again but his actions don’t match that. He says he’s never leaving his new girlfriend. He says he’s confused because he has a new gf and he has me. So I’m taking this advice and backing wayyy off and going to live my life and concentrate on me.
Keep the emotional connection because we have our own language and kids together, but take the pressure off him.
He also tells me he loves me but he doesn't love me the way he should
Dam man youre too good at this you need a show!
Thanks, Dallas. :-)
The first thing you said literally made me gasp and drop my phone 😂 I hate people
well, my gf was mad at me basically when she broke up w me. she told me i shouldnt wait for her and to go find other girls. but she said its over, she did say she wanted to be friends but then i got her angry and she said she doesnt wanna hear from me anymore. btw u look like my philosophy teacher
Can't believe everything you said is so true. I've experienced it myself.
You're brilliant! I almost observe those signs to my x. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. 😊
You are so welcome. :-)
Maybe because she is emailing about how her life now sucks because he's not all that.
Clay you do AN AMAZING job. You are helping me a lot right now!!
Thank you, Erik. :-)
Your voice is very calming man
Thanks! I don't like it, personally, but I'm glad you have a different opinion. Maybe I should start an ASMR channel :)
My ex and I had this, we got really close, but now he has pulled right back saying there must be something that feels not right...but he can't figure our what, and still wants to see me, but only laconic as any touchy stuff feels like a relationship, and he doesn't want that atm, and he says if we get back together he'd probably marry me, so he needs to be sure...
Everyone my ex and me hang out he ends up coming up to me and kissing me like emotionally kissing and he says he can't help it never fails always happens
Hi well my ex broke up with due to financial issues so last night she texted me she loves me an misses me an misses us but she said ur still in the same situations she then said be safe an take care of ur self
Hi Dave, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup. Since you are already aware of the reason why your ex broke up with you, that is something that you have to focus on. Once you gained your financial stability back, you can start then on working connection with her. :-) All the best.
I clicked on this video thinking none of these signs or if any only like one of these signs would actually be there, but really just watching it out of curiosity and now I'm realizing my ex is doing every single one of these down to even your details you said in this video. Now I'm stuck and idk what to do because I want to get back together, but I don't. We didn't have a bad breakup or anything, but I'm just not sure what to do right now lol.
Hi Kayla, Have you done Active No Contact and worked on learning and practicing the Advanced Relational Skills? This are the most important phase of the process that we have to work on before initiating contact with our ex.
i had all the signes and i missed them. i like the video thank you very match
He's....exhibited about 4 of the signs...however the last one...like he hasn't exhibited since the breakup but back when we just started dating and we took a break for like a month...he asked it then because he thought that would have been it.
Thanks Clay I needed to hear this . Now I have a better understanding about my ex this what she’s doing to me right now .I hope it’s true what you are saying
I was working on creating a positive interaction till she decided to give me attitude and pushed me away so I walked away and have not talked to her. She loves to play mind games on social media and bash on me. I just stopped trying. Now I am back to the no contact. I am stuck.
Hi Patrick, I'm sorry to hear about that. Maybe it's time to assess the character of the person that you are trying to get back if it fits your personal values in having a healthy relationship. At the end of the day, a good relationship is also bound with a certain level of respect. All the best.
My ex and I dated for around two months. He broke up with me because he said school and work was too overwhelming for him since he's in pharmacy school and he said a lot of family stuff going on and offered to be friends instead so that way we "could keep each other in each other's lives, but not see each other as often." We broke up at the end of August but we still kept talking to each other frequently until October and all of the sudden he stopped replying to my messages and watching my snapchat stories. I felt like he was ghosting me so then I just planned to message him when I knew his school was on break in December.
I proceeded to message him on snapchat cuz then I could tell if he read the message or not since he has a Samsung and I have an iPhone so I can't tell if he's read it or not if I send him a text. He never ended up even opening the snapchat. So then a few weeks later (January 3rd), I ended up texting him a message about how I apologized for my behavior from before and told him that I was grateful he broke up with me. Surprisingly, he ended up responding to me and said he still wanted to be friends. He would take at least a day to respond to my messages but then he just stopped replying to all together after a few days of texting.
I then sent him a final text message almost three weeks ago explaining how I felt to him and that I don't mind being friends but I felt disrespected cuz it felt like he wasn't treating me in a friendly manner. He never responded to the text. All I want to do is just to talk to him to see where he's at. I don't understand why he's treating me like this. I'm ok with being friends with him but I'm tired of his "hot and cold" behavior.
What should I do to get him to talk to me again? I was thinking about just waiting until the summer to reach out again just to let things die down. I don't even want a romantic relationship with him at this point, I just want him to talk to me and stop ignoring me.
What should I do to get him to talk to me again? Please help Clay :(
Thank you for this positive signs you’re the only one to see :)
You are so welcome, Alexandre. :-)
I’m scared I’ve seen all 5 signs what should I do 😳😳 ( she’s just broke up with her rebound and I’m thinking to give it time now )
Hi Callum, If your ex just broke up with her rebound, give her some time to heal and process her emotions. It is important that we have to be sensitive to what she is going through. All the best.
I JUST WANTED TO THNAK YOY FOR EVERYTHINGS @Clay Andrews , I APPLIED WHAT YOU SAID WITH MY EX AND WE ARE COME BACK AGAIN
IT’S VERY EASY LIKE YOU SAID ( JUST FOCUS ON EMOTIONAL CONNECTION , JUST FOCUS ON REALLY LOVE YOUR EX WHEN YOU SEE HER , JUST FOCUS ON BEING HONEST AND CLEAR WITH HER , ONLY SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER , AND BELIEVE ME SHE WILL COME BACK ❤️❤️❤️🖤🖤🖤
That's truly great news. :-) Congratulations for having her back in your life.
@@ClayAndrews help me please
my ex broke up with me 8 months ago
_ because she was in contact with her ex , she kissed me and applogized to me
but i made a fight with her so she left me
_ after that i was pleading to come back
_ after that i made a fight with her because i thought she was in a rebound relationship
_ after that i was pleading again to come back
AFTER I SAW YOUR VIDEOS
me and my ex met for the first time after breaking up 1 month ago
and it was good....
then we talked for 3 days ( she was hot )
then she started to disappear for a week ( she was cold )
then she called me ( she was hot )
then we met again for the second time 3 days ago
( she was is CRISES POINT )
( she told me she is unsure yet and she want time PLATONIC LEVEL )
( i told her i want you and i will be there for you )
( she said I LOVE YOU TOO for the first time after breaking up )
and it was good.......
then she called me 2 days ago to meetup with her after her work but after she finished her work she didnt call me
yesterday i called her but she didn't respond
HELP ME PLEAAASE
should i contact her again when she dont reply ??
should i tell her that i am angry from this behaviour ??
i'm started to lose my control :@ :@
@@ClayAndrews please help me , i have 2 questions
after i met my ex again , she was in crises point and i told her that i love her and she said to me I LOVE YOU TOO and it was good
the day after she called me to meetup with her after her work but she didn't respond to my call for 2 days
1- should i call her again when she don't reply ? or i wait for her to call me back ?
2- should i tell her that i'am angry from this behaviour ? ( HOT AND COLD )
I wish one of u coaches would do a vid on how to get over the betrayal of a friend knowing ur not over ur ex, knowing u still love him and snatching him up and filling his head up with and then causing drama and bs at ur work place where u all work together!!!! And him believeing she’s the innocent one!!!!
I’m over him but her and I were friends for all but 12 years of my life and I’m 47! I can’t believe she did that shit to me and wonders why I won’t talk to her! I had to change my number cause of her and she has ppl trying to add me to Snapchat!!!!
Filling his head up with bs is what I meant
Omg my ex does all of these things. Does he want to get back together? We are supposed to be just friends.
If both of you are clear on becoming just friends, then maybe you have set the proper expectations to be in that level of platonic relationship. :-)
My Ex of 3yrs keeps posting on social media that im no good , I did her wrong and so forth when its the complete opposite. I did so much for her .
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this in your journey, dmitrih4714. We understand how hard this must be for you. We hope that you are holding on well. Hope your ex will likewise find that inner peace within her. All the best.
My ex is a hot mess and I really miss him.
Even though my ex-girlfriend is with another boy, I still see her and talk to her often and in some ways I feel that she loves me but doesn’t actually say that they still love me and I want to know what is going on but she really does still love me deepdown even though she is with someone else
What if my ex told me sorry for everything but i move on.. Hope you move on too
Your analysis is excellent! I get big hope. Thanks.
You're welcome and thanks for watching our videos always, CB. :-)
he told me I hurt him so bad when I did nothing
Have you sked more probing questions to understand where his hurt is coming from?
It’s been 3 years , why do I still think of her a good bit ?
Maybe you still have lingering feelings for her?
Clay Andrews I guess its a possibility
Gotta say i really hope youre right....
My situation is still quite fresh. He left 3 weeks ago, is on the rebound, and im 9 months pregnant. So the no contact rule has been difficult to follow
Hi Chryssi, I'm sorry to hear about what happened and this might be tough for you given your pregnancy. We understand that it may not be possible to have full No Contact but if you and your ex had an agreement that he has to support you throughout the pregnancy, you have to focus on that area without leaning towards being emotional towards him as of the moment. That is how you can apply Limited Active No Contact. All the best.
Thank you for responding! Its pretty rough staying away from the emotional stuff while my hirmones are so high. Hes gotten to the point already where he is more emotionally available, and i try to listen to him rather than spit out my problems. Your videos are a HUGE help. I would totally sign uo for your program, but my current situation leaves me financially strained lol
Hi Chryssi , that's totally fine if you can't join our program for now. It is important to prepare yourself financially especially that you are pregnant. You can use the money on more important matters. You can always check on our TH-cam videos as it may help you as well. Please do surround yourself with supportive people like family and friends aside from your ex. You needed more support from those people as well, especially in your current situation. Sending more positive energies on your end.
Mine said were not getting back together, I’m doing no contact day 17, after that runs it’s course I’m considering removing herself off my Snapchat. She can see my stories, I can see here but choose not to view hers. As far as Far as I’m concerned, she has no business knowing what I’m up to
What if the breakup wasn't bad, and she just went silence with no communication at all?
It's another man involved
Yep yep lol
Wish she would just reach out. Almost a full six months.
Thank you for this video. Now i understand the mix signals he is sending. 😁
You're welcome, Reg and we are happy to hear that our video had resonated with you.
Hello clay for me its so sad because i know i dont own him anymore its been a hard time for us since he is not happy with his married, life but for me life must go on i know someday i can find the right one for me, i know its hard because we have the same feeling. i must let him go, Actually i move on but since am ok now, hes the one making the move to come back to me.. I told him its too late and you are already married..thats the sad part..😔
Hi clay, how often should we be initiating with our ex’s it’s hard to know if what your doing is too much or not enough
You have to be careful not to become a "robo texter" who just contacts your ex every X days. You have to stay present to the quality of the interactions between you and them. You have to stay tuned in to what feels good and where they are at emotionally. With that being said, there is no set rule. If the interactions between you and your ex are strong, then there is no harm in continuing to contact them. But as soon as the quality of the connection starts to slip, then it's time to dial it back. Maybe they just need space due to what they are going through... Or maybe there is something off about the connection between you and them.
I’m tending to stick to phone calls as the emotional connection seems much stronger this way she opens up about what’s going on in her life and how she feels where as by text she can often be blunt I’m just wary of overdoing the phone calls I guess thanks for the great advice keep doing your great work.
I’ve got to be at riding the dragon or crisis point. Or somewhere in between 🤔 My ex knows that every time we hangout, she’s gonna have a great time. She acknowledged that too. She’ll talk about when we should see each other again while we’re hanging out too. Definitely some flirting going on on her end too. I’m not at new beginnings yet though. Awhile ago I asked her what our chances of getting back together were and she told me she didn’t know and that I should date other people. The thing is I’m pretty sure at that point I was at riding the dragon. Just gonna keep up the positive interactions. If and when I get back together with my ex, best believe you will be the first to know Clay and your subscribers.
Hey Jeremy, hope we'll hear that great news from you soon. :-) We are rooting for your success.
I told him that I liked his posts coz he was active in training and it inspired me. Then he started to compare his body to his friends( who’s post I was liking) my friends say he’s jealous but idk...
My ex and I have been apart for almost seven months. She said she wanted space and when I ask tell me why..... The response was I don't have to tell you anything.
I've been working on myself seeing a therapist because commitment is the one thing I cannot seem to get right in my life. Can you offer me some clarification here?
KG
KEVIN GREEN mate if she asked for space, give her the world. Let her go, shes not worth it. Trust me you will find someone better.
You make a lot of sense 👆
What if my ex says she wants space to heal but she does show some signs?
My ex has just done the positive pull back. We spent the memorial weekend at the lake together and she was all about me most of the time. She would come and sit in my lap a lot or hug up to me and we had a great time all weekend. She got home Monday night and was texting me and said she had a good time but was worried we may be doing too much. She said she didn’t have any intentions of getting back together at this point and didn’t want to lead me on and we were friends. She said she was scared we will jump back into a relationship and it will just go back like it was. Her actions this weekend said one thing and now her words are saying a completely different thing. We had plans for this week on Thursday and again on Saturday. I am not sure how to handle this now and am just trying my best to stay steady while she is wavering back and forth. Any tips?
Update for 4 weeks later...I actually went into a limited contact and let her reach out to me and now she has come back and has planned a long weekend vacation at the beach we leave for tonight and then we will be back for 3 days and go spend 5 days together for the 4th of July at the lake. All planned by her. She’s also sending me things about working on our relationship and understanding each other better. Stay the course! It gets better!
@@harrisonkelly1369 how did it go?
What if your ex maybe have been in the crisis stage? They tell you to date other Woman. That they are dating other men. You tell them they must not still be interested in you ( me) . You tell them not to contact you again. Is that an emotional reply on my behalf? If so , how do I repair it?
How you doing clay so my ex broke up with me a week ago we just came back from Vegas we were supposed to get married in Vegas she called it off and said she’s not in love with me and not happy we have a kid together and we were engaged we were together for 3 years going on 4 what should I do all she says right now is pls stop I feel like we can make it work if we go to therapy
First of all, I think that she is going to be resistant to going to therapy right now. If she's already broken up with you, then therapy is going to be a pretty big leap for her. The first step is to understand why she backed out of getting married. Was there anything that you are aware of that would cause her to second guess her choice to marry you? If so then that is the first thing to address.
but after breakup with me they in January the don't talk to me any more
How lovely and loud!
They don't come back. They become indifferent and that's worse than hate. Screw all this. No contact does not work. Stop believing in wizardry or magic or Santa Claus. Yes Im bitter and want my ex back but it won't happen. Here's how to get them back. Keep them in the first place. They may be exactly what you need.
My ex use to reach out to me only on holidays to wish me and on my birthday.We are from a different states which we met each other in workplace where we work as part time job. He brokeup with me last November choosing another girl over me which he recently met on a party and that girl is from his own hometown.Well he actually don't know that I know about this because I got to know from a mutual friends. But here I'm totally confused on one thing,he reached out to me like several times asking me help for money as he was living in other city which we have met. so,is it be right to help him or not? I want to help him but what if he is taking advantage of me ?because he know very well I love him so much and unconditionally. when he reached out to me he use insisted me to do a video call instead but I never do. At one point he even text me in fb saying, "I heard that you make a new boyfriend"? Last call was on 28th of Jan and don't heard about him after that... Any advice for me plis...I really want him and love him but I dnt know what to do..
All of your points was good except for the emotional part he will say let’s talk but it doesn’t happen. We will make plans to and he will change his mind by saying I’m really tired or he has something to do. So I tried not pushing and after some time I asked was he still interested in having that talk he said yes I said OK he asked when I said when he was ready. he said OK and we have not had that talk.
As much as we wanted to have that "talk" with our ex, we have to consider their emotional readiness. If they flake out, it's a clear indication that they are not that 100% ready yet. It's better for both parties to have that emotional readiness that doing the "talk" prematurely.
So I should just let go and stop trying?
team mommy and me 101 use your best judgement.
Are you continuing with your life, letting that door open for them?
All of what he said happened to me yesterday
I’ve been thru all these stages with my ex but she’s with a rebound, she’ll tell me she loves me send me old pictures of us and occasionally meet up with me for a walk (she’s lives near by and it is something we would do together at the start of the relationship) however she plays the hot and cold game way to much while going and posting her new guy but constantly checking up on my socials as well. I try and escalate to making actual plans but she’ll deflect and hangout with her friends or rebound instead which hurts me a lot. With that being said on our walks she is extremely affectionate (kissing, hugging) and we become intimate almost every time (go back to her place) she’ll ask if I’m seeing anyone else etc and that she still loves me while simultaneously posting this new guy doing things I want to do with her. She claims they aren’t together but makes post saying she has a boyfriend etc. I decided to put my foot down and tell her I’m good and that I don’t want to play her game and going into no contact yet again. She says she thinks the relationship has gone past saving and that she’s trying to move on but will then do all the behaviors I’ve mentioned prior. (Our relationship had major issues, resulted in a pretty bad event between us but even then we where together up until two months after when she had lied about a trip she went on and came following the rebound which is a family member of one of the girls in her friend group) her family and friends are not to fond of me either however they understand we both made mistakes to an extent. How do I proceed, this girl is genuinely my first love and I would love to give things a chance I was busy chasing cars and money for most of the relationship (have these things now) making new experiences and someone happy brought me way more joy rather then live in the same materialistic mindset. Any help to work things out
We’ve been apart for two months or so but I spent the first blowing her up now I go into periods of no contact for a week or two before she finds some reason to reach out ( usually in a childish manner like claiming I stalk her by driving by her car when we live on the same street which) and I can escalate to a walk but never past that into a date. However recently I Told her to not contact me via text after she spent the day sending me old pictures of us saying she loved me but then posted the new guy. Is this the right move? It bothers me a lot and it’s starting to feel like she’s just using me as an emotional crutch and leading me on she even claimed to be possibly pregnant with my kid!!! (Clearly not true she was drinking the next day, called her out on it as well and she claimed she took a test and it came back negative)
thank you clay..this helps a lot...great info
Glad to help :-)
I like this guy
Thank you so much. :-)
Wow!! You’re so amazing
Thank you very much, Jay. :-)
What happens when he says he sometimos feels like he wants to get back wirh me but if he makes that decision ever, i might not want him back anymore. But he knows i love him deeply, so of course i will take him back. I dont understand why he says that statement knowing himself that i totally will
thank you for this video Clay, my ex broke up with me a month ago and now he reached out to me and said that He want to win me back and he is doing all the signs that you mentioned on this video so now I think that he really want me back😊 BUT I don't know what to do now, I know in my heart I still love him but I'm afraid to trust him again, maybe because of the pain that I experienced during our break up. 😢 I really don't know what to do 😕
We are in crisis point. Everything is amazing and planning future activities but he wants me to date other people. So confusing
That usually happens during the Crisis Point. Because our ex is likewise trying to gauge their emotions and which path to take.
Went back to my ex and we got intimate and I didnt tell him why. Next night a woman calls and he told me that she is trying to keep us from getting intimate while she was on the phone. What was he doing and why?
HI Regina, so you and your ex is back together, right? Have you talked to your ex regarding this concern?
No I got upset and left
My ex broke up with me 3 months ago, two months after the BU she went into rebound, 10 days she texted me awful things i just keepted cool, 10 days later the rebound relationship ended, now one week after she is like does not know me!!! Looks like she moved on!
HI Eros, It looks like she may have moved on but if we look at the broader perspective, it seems like your ex is going through a lot emotionally.
Clay Andrews she tre days ago spoke about a guy that showed some intress in her during our relationship. She told a friend to ask a family member about how he is and so, despite she has already spoken with him or does it on messenger. She spoke about in infront of my cloest freind. We are coworkers.
Be w someone that wants s to be w you
Good info to know. Thank you.
Hi can u please help me. My husband and i separate 4 months now in the past 3 months im begging him and pleading him i told him give me a last change.because it's my fault i hurt him so many times and I did not respect him which is the main reason that why he tell me he lost his love for me.but this month i open up my feelings again to him I tell him don't call me or speak me because i hurt coz he tell me before we are never getting back together.we are married with one son.but this month he call me to tell me he is goin to minor surgery.but before he tell me he is over me.he still calling me but is not about our son.he calling to tell me what happening to him and to ask me how i am.what should I do.should I make the no contact to getting him back to me?
He called you to see how you're doing and to share what's happening with him. Assuming you are emotionally oaky enough to have an interaction with him, why would you want to do No Contact? Why not just connect with him? It seemed like he was open to connecting with you in that moment.
@@ClayAndrews hi thank you for your reply. ☺
love watching you
Thank you Mary Rose.
What if my ex is hot and cold with his emotions towards me. So one minute he’s nice the next he’s not. I was the one who originally broke off the relationship but we always tend to have emotional talks about why our relationship didn’t work and then we will connect on a deeper level. But it never tends to get us anywhere
My girlfriend got married. And it was done without knowing me. Actually we had a misunderstanding and it was because of me and she got me wrong and she was very upset and very much angry to me and after that she went to her home. then she decided to get marriage suddenly. Even the man she married I knew that she didn’t like him but she married him because she was angry to me and her family made the arrangement for this marriage. But now days she is trying to love him just because of her family wants to stay with him. And after married she got that she misunderstood me and she didn’t get me well before marriage. After married she came to me actually we were leaving together at home. And still we are together. Our relationship has been for last 2 years. And we had some great time, hangout, and sex recently after her marriage. But she wants to stay separate since she got married. Although We didn’t have clean break up or separation. And She told me I am her best friend she ever met. But she can’t marry me. But she wants my company always. And I think she still love me and she doesn’t want to miss me. Although her husband lives in another country and he can’t come to her for next two years. And here she is staying completely alone. But I don’t want to be her best friend. I want her as my life partner. I want to get her back to me at any cost. Earlier I was bit emotional and I wanted to live her immediately but she requested me to stay with her at least this month. And now I am behaving normally with her. Actually i love her so much even if we stay separate for sure I am going to miss her a lot. I was thinking for no contact rules after get separate but she told me she wants to talk or text to me everyday. And she wants to hangout or meet me very weekend. And already she got new home and me too. From next month we’ll stay separate. I know she still loves me but she told me she can’t divorce her husband. Because it was an arrange marriage by her family. And she decided to marry just because of angry to me. And also she cares me a lot and it’s May be because of sympathy. Now I don’t understand that at all what is it. Is it that she is using me or wants to spend time just because she is alone here currently Or she still love me, or it is sympathy for me. And I get real confuse that what should I do now? Should I use no contact rule, or live her alone, or keep in touch with her? Or something else? I really don’t know what to do now. Sometimes I get real crazy. And now I am unable to take all this pressure. Please give me a solution. I’ll be thankful forever.
Sir clay i hope you can read this. My wife broke up with me last december. At first ofc i do the wrong things begging crying name it i did it. I do no contact she reaches out. We live together for 7 years and we have a very beautiful daughter. The thing is i messed up everytime she reaches out i always want to get back asap. I always freak out and tell same bs everytime. She wants me to take care of my daughter every weekend. So the connection is always there. Everytime i freak out she still always give me a chance though shes so hard on me sometimes she reply to my messages sometimes she dont and its killin me. Theres a point she told me that she forgives me to all the bad things i made in the past that lead to break up and her love for me is the same she just needs time dor herself something that shes unable to have cause he dedicate her life to me and my daughter. And she will never love another man except her daughters father. Now shes not textin me again cause o freaked out again the other night cause im drunk. But before goin to sleep i always call her to check our daughter and so i can talk to her so i can hear her voice after a whole day of loneliness. Shes answering the call though after 3-5 times of calling before she answer. Shes tellin me what shes doin how she do things and what our daughter is doing. Sometimes she ask me who im with in our house. After we talk at night shes always in that tough mood i dont know how to explain it, she talks but act like she doesnt have emotion she always want me to feel confused or mad. Im thinking shes testing me. And everytime she will talk to other people she always says all she wants is me to change.
(#5 sigh) you are talking to her and she text back people are hitting on her and you had a good conversation about thing but two days after you asked her out and she say no
Amazing video! Perfect info Clay! 🤗
Thank you Brittany!
Love this video.
Mine ran got married lives for her kids however she calls me told me how much she loves me and her husband caught her she has to see it’s ok to love me because we do I’ve let god have it it’s in his hands what is meant will be
Your ex does not want you in her mind. Trying to figure her out that's never good always leads to problems
Women do appreciate trying to figure us out. I don’t think you can speak for us sir. lol
For all these you at least need to talk to your ex. What if we are not talking for months.
She says shes happy with her new bf and she got with him a month after we broke up so is there even a chance? Please I really need your help
Yes, go watch Dan Bacon 's videos.
PAKA757 which one
PAKA757 also read my other comment where she said she wants to get back together but cant because she says it’s wrong and that our problems wont change or be fixed
@@jaketaylor4084 go and watch his every video on how to get ex back...
PAKA757 even if she has a new bf and she told me we are never getting back together
After he came back, he talked about marriage, home. Did he really mean it ?
Do you have a reason to think he didn't mean it?
He didn't text in a week. Then we met next day. He said he still misses his ex. Did he say that meaning he wanted to break up with me ?
Then he replied my short texts just said "Good morning" in few days later.
I want to end this situation so texted him "Bye, Move on"
hello, My girlfriend broke up with me, last month 1 because we had an argument she graded me and so this made me violent that I fought her the first time because degrading me every time and then we solved and both agreed to change but she repeated that degrading thing and I also fought hard the second time and we solved where I included my family members and I promised never fight her, at that time I shifted for an interview to another location because we used to live together and we had just finished our studies 1 month later after I shifted she came to my place I had already applied job for her and she passed the interview but she didn't want to stay with because after I shifted due to job interview she joined online dating, so that day she came at my place I discovered that, and asked why politely and that's when she told me that she had never forgiven me after 2nd fight and she broke up with me and proposed to be friends. I begged her and after 1 week she started dating, but it didn't work well for her so I have been friend zone for 1 month I call her like 5 times a day and we talk and she also calls like twice a day I apply here for jobs, she also gives money to save for her in a different I opened for but, we are friends and am stacked what to do she says she does want to date again because she hates sex, and she does want me as lover, and to be with me because I broke her virginity, am extremely good for her and I have anger than that she says she loves me as friend , what should i do, in other words she says am extremely good and at the same I have anger issues. we are friends and we talk every day it has been 1 month what should I do to gain her love
In this 5 sign 3 of them I experienced in she usually go in happy talk and then move out silently. she don't talk to me about to get back but yes she keep saying to find a girl and make her your gf. and now after a month she starts to talk to me in certain time to time. finding excuse to talk an also said that she thinks me as a friend..
I loved this video! ♥️♥️♥️
Glad you liked it!!
Me and my ex have pretty bad drama. We don't talk obviously. He keeps on staring at me though. I ignore it but i really dont understand lol.
I'm sorry to hear about what is going on between you and your ex. Hope your communication with each other will improve further so you would be able to understand where you both are coming from emotionally. :-)
Clay Andrews he fell out of love with me so ended it. But led me on. After the break up, he annoyed me so many times. We were at a gig and he performed. While performing, he said on stage to the audience ‘relationships suck’. I was furious at him for humiliating me like that. I told him I was angry and he said to me ‘that was aimed towards my other ex’. There’s been a lot of tension between us. He is in my college course. We had our Easter holiday and it was great cuz I really needed to clear my mind. But now that I’m back at college, he stares at me. Yesterday he stared at me in the most uncomfortable way and I’m thinking to myself ‘what is he thinking when he’s staring at me?’
Dam what if i fell for the start talking to some one else because she had a rebound already. So I did and I let her know we started dating and she got mad. Man Im confused😔
Saw your channel and loved your energy
I hope you can help me in my case
My ex boyfriend left me a month back, I begged pleaded to him and his parents for a month...I even went to his house to meet his parents and begged them to help me
He the removed all our pictures from social media
Removed me from social media
Idk if hes seeing anyone else or not
I really love him and want him back
He broke up by saying he's been unhappy from a long time and he doesn't love me anymore!
Plz tell me what should I do?