The 4 phases of retirement | Dr. Riley Moynes | TEDxSurrey
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 พ.ค. 2024
- Imagine squeezing all the juice out of retirement! When interviewed on his research, Dr. Riley Moynes commented, “I wish I knew then what I know now about the psychological challenges that accompany retirement. It would have made things much clearer and easier.”
By interviewing hundreds of retirees, he has discovered a framework that can help make more sense of this challenging chapter of our lives…one that, for many, could last for 30 years or more.
If you’re retired, this talk will make things much clearer for you. If you’re not, you’ll have a better idea of what to expect when that time comes. Riley has enjoyed a distinguished career spanning four decades in both public and private sectors.
In public education, he served as a teacher, Department Head, a Superintendent and a Director of Education. He also authored several textbooks including a History of Russia, and a World Religions text.
In the private sector, he was a Founding Partner of a national wealth management firm, author of a book entitled The Money Coach which enjoyed sales of over 200,000 copies in six editions, and co-author of several editions of Top Funds.
Since stepping back from day-to-day involvement in financial services, Riley researches and writes reader-friendly publications on topics of general interest, and presents Workshops across the country based on those publications.
One of his most recent books, The Four Phases of Retirement, became a Canadian best-seller within 12 months of publication, and is the basis of his TEDx Talk.
In the book, he explains how he waltzed through Phase One of retirement, struggled in Phase Two, tried a dozen ventures in Phase Three and now in Phase Four, assists others as they navigate their way through the psychological changes and challenges almost everyone faces in retirement. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
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I believe the retirement crisis will get even worse. Many struggle to save due to low wages, rising prices, and exorbitant rents. With homeownership becoming unattainable for middle-class Americans, they may not have a home to rely on for retirement either.
Consider buying stocks when the economy is not doing well, like during a recession. It could be a chance to buy them at a lower price and sell later when prices go up. Just keep in mind, this isn't financial advice, but sometimes it's better than keeping a lot of cash.
Accurate asset allocation is crucial. Some use hedging or defensive assets in their portfolio for market downturns. Seeking financial advice is vital. This approach has kept me financially secure for over five years, with a return on investment of nearly $1 million.
Mind if I ask you to recommend this particular coach you using their service?
Carol Vivian Constable is the licensed fiduciary I use. Just research the name. You’d find necessary details to work with a correspondence to set up an appointment..
She appears to be well-educated and well-read. I ran a Google search for her name and came across her website; thank you for sharing.
Younger investors can take more risk with their investments, while investors closer to retirement should be more conservative.
If you’ve received tax deductions over the years for the money that you’ve contributed to your retirement accounts, then a significant tax bill awaits when you start withdrawing those savings.
There are ways to minimize the retirement tax hit while you save for the future and to continue the process when that day arrives and you actually stop working.
Retirement planning should include determining time horizons, estimating expenses, calculating required after-tax returns, assessing risk tolerance, and doing estate planning.
Timothy Eric Meek my mentor and an expect investor always encourage me to start planning for retirement as soon as i can to take advantage of the power of compounding.
He is very smart, i believe he is a genius.
My $400k retirement account has gone up only by 2% in the past year due to rebalancing I did out of fear uncertainty and doubt. What are best alternatives to take in other to secure a financially free retirement and achieve ultimate peace? I don’t want to fail after 22 years of working hard.
Do you plan on retiring before 59?
That is what determines it for me. I switched to cash flowing assets because I wanted to retire early
At a point like this, when the pressure is already on you to retire, its best recommended you seek the services of an advisor, as this allows you make smarter financial decisions.
Generally speaking, a good number of people discredit the effectiveness of financial advisor in planning for retirement, For over the past 10years, I’ve had a financial advisor consistently restructure and diversify my portfolio/expenses and I’ve made over $3million in gains… might not be a lot but retirement doesn’t seem so farfetched anymore.
Can you share details of your advisor? I want to invest my increased cash flow in stocks and alternative assets to achieve financial goals.
*Jennifer Leigh Hickman* is the licensed advisor I use. Just search the name. You’d find her webpage and necessary details to work with to set up an appointment.
I wish I had more time for experimentation, but I'll be 50 by June, and I'm looking for ideas and suggestions on what investments to acquire to set myself up for retirement, especially with the looming inflation; my goal is to have at least $5 million by the age of 65.
My holdings were down a lot and I sold at a loss majority of the time, which prompted me seek the service of a coach I found-featured on Bloomberg, she hatched an adjustable system that aligned with my retirement plan and overall goals, it's been less than 2years and I've gained over $830K.
I feel your pain, I’d suggest you look into passive index fund investing and learn some more. For me, I had my share of ups and downs when I first started looking for a consistent passive income so I hired an expert advisor for aid, and following her advice, I poured $130k in passive diversified safe-haven assets, Up 200k so far and pretty sure I'm ready for whatever comes.
So who is the Advisor that tutored you? And how can I contact them, i'm in need of their skillset.
Lisa Ann Moberly, you can read up on her, she's quite known and her works speaks for itself.
Thanks, I found it. I booked a call with her on her website, her resume seems pretty tight.
I love being retired. 7 years now.
I’m not super well off, but I’m comfortable and never get bored.
I enjoy the quiet and simplicity.
This ⬆️
Great simplicity, learn, play with Grandchildren, help poor children in Oaxaca where I live. Help with Permaculture in schools, visit friends. Thanks for sharing
Me too.😊
Guess I am still in phase 1 after 3 years and still cannot be bored out of it as I love it soo much 😂
I’m six months into retirement. Age 61. I’m single and not bored at all. I keep a daily routine of small projects, exercise, reading, coffee, humor (Laurel & Hardy), puzzles, my cat, houseplants, music, piano playing.. I’m good for now !!
The thought of retirement makes me cry. My apologies to everyone who have retired and filing social security during this time after putting in all those years of work just to lose everything to a problem you weren't to blame for.it's especially difficult for people who are retired.
Is there anything like proof recession stock? I am 58 years and would like help in managing my retirement portfolio which is currently $1.25M...down from a high of $1.67M….
It's a delicate season now, so you can do little or nothing on your own. Hence I will suggest you get yourself a professional that can provide you with entry and exit points on the securities you focus on.
@@DarleneMurphy774 True, initially I wasn't quite impressed with my gains, opposed to my previous performances, I was doing so badly, figured I needed to diverssify into better assets, I touched base with a portfolio-advisor and that same year, I pulled a net gain of $550k...that's like 7times more than I average on my own.
@@ThomasHeintz that's impressive!, I could really use the expertise of this advisors , my portfolio has been down bad....who’s the person guiding you.
@@Adukwulukman859 SCAM SCAM SCAM!!!!!!
I just retired at 58 years old. It is easy if you are introverted and could not stand working....I have never been happier.
Wow, I still wonder if I retired too early at 66. Luckily, my workplace allowed me to continue working part time, which I am still doing 3 years later. I think that was a transition that made the whole thing easier for me, but I am thinking of letting it go. I am introverted also-although I think that just means I want peace and quiet and time to do all the things I love doing.
I retired at 57 after many years of very hard work. I'd simply had enough of people, clients,coworkers and most of all fellow commuters. I didn't know I was an introvert until I could sit still! It wa a huge adjustment and very difficult a first but now I love it!
@@leahferrell3110 to me retire after 40 is already too late. retire at 35 is ideal
I retired from a busy and stressful corporate life at age 65. I migrated straight to Phase 4 - clearing invasive weeds and regenerating degraded / infested rainforest opposite our home. Found complete enjoyment and immense satisfaction. Two years later I have cleared around 7 acres of invasive species and witnessing the return of natural rainforest flora and fauna which had previously been choked out. I have enlisted other retirees as co-volunteers. Never been happier and fitter. Can’t wait to wake up for the next days efforts including photographing and cataloguing species I am finding…
Wonderful!!!
What a beautiful and rewarding way of living.
Wish i could join you
I need to do this
That is so AWESOME!
Retired now for almost 23 years. My advice is take care of your health and finances. Travel wasn't on my list of things I wanted to do, I did plenty of that during my working years. Get and stay healthy ! Stay mobile as long as you can, normal weight, good diet, reasonable exercise (physical and mental exercise). Help others when you can but don't become an enabler. Mobility becomes very important as we get older, eyes, ears, balance, dexterity and the strength to do what we want. Many of the people I know (probably most) have prediabetes or diabetes type 2 a lifestyle disease that can and should be controlled by diet. Relatives, relationships, beware of toxic personality people. Help them if you can but be ready to detach if you can't. Each of us are individuals but these things will apply to all us.
You make an important point about staying healthy. If you access our "health care system" you will shorten your lifespan for sure.
I am 70 almost 71. Have been a nurse 50 years this year. Have loved every day of my career. I did critical care with infants, children, adults and the elderly. I payed attention to all I cared for. I get check ups EVERY year along with my lab work etc. I don’t take any meds. Keeping healthy is like having another career. You have to work at it. I see all the preventable illnesses that people have and a good majority don’t have to be that way, most have brought the illnesses on themselves. Having preventable illnesses is EXPENSIVE. That money you saved for retirement is now funding the ill health you should and could have controlled. By the way I still work.
Agree 100%
@@louisel.sinniger2057 Yes, I agree. If you are diagnosed with CKD, how often should you do bloodwork? My current PC thinks once a year apparently. I disagree. Your thoughts?
@@notedrockhistorian4382 Hi. Well, let me say this. If I was diagnosed with CKD I would hook up with a Renal specialists. I know, I know, a specialist?!
PC’s are good however when you get into specific organ problems it is a good idea to be evaluated and followed by a Specialist. THEY are the ones that know specifically how often you should have lab work. But, it also depends upon what those specific labs look like. Hope this helps.
I really liked this video because it confirmed for me what the majority of people think about retirement: that you will quickly get bored because of lack of a routine, and will struggle to find a way to replace the meaningful parts of your life when you were working. When I was nearing retirement, many people told me that I would be disappointed after I retired due to boredom, and I told them that I didn't think that would be true for me, but that I would let them know if they were right sometime down the line. I retired at 62 after working full-time for 40 years, and immediately felt the freedom of not having to keep to anyone's schedule but my own. My wife and I have been retired for 12 full years now, and neither of us has spent ONE SECOND being bored. We aren't wealthy but we have enough to pay our bills and have a little more fun. We love going on vacation, usually just a drive to a different city, and sometimes a flight to Hawaii or Florida. When we're not travelling, we have our own hobbies that keep us busy. My wife likes gardening, making jewelry, and cooking. I like music, golfing, and photography. We combine our hobbies sometimes, like when she helps me with my photos on vacation as she's learned to take great photos with her camera, or when I help her cook and develop my own favorite recipes. Best of all, our retired life IS our new routine. We have all our meals together and watch TV from 8 to midnight most evenings. We sleep on our new schedule, 2 am to 10 am, and are both sound sleepers. Fortunately, we are both healthy and have a fitness workout 3 times a week that helps keep us that way. In short, our Phase 1 has lasted WAY longer than the average 1 year he spoke about, and to be honest, I think we're still in Phase 1 after 12 years. Maybe it's because my hobbies are not something that you master quickly enough to get bored. Golf is something you never master, you just keep trying to hit good shots, and if you really like to play, you keep practicing in order to hit more good shots. I've played guitar for over 50 years, but I never had the time to get really good at it. But now I can practice much more and have improved a lot more in the last 12 years which is very gratifying. It inspired me to try to learn to play piano at age 71, which was a real challenge. After 2 years of instruction, I am nowhere near any good, but I do get better the more I play. So much more so, that I play piano every day now but only play guitar once a week. I guess my main point here is that not everyone is going to experience these 4 phases, so if you are nearing or new to retirement don't think that it's automatic. Do use these concepts to guide your retirement planning but make your golden years your own in your own way. If you need to make life more meaningful, follow some of his ideas. If you're happy to be free of the 9-to-5 grind and don't feel depressed or adrift, just continue to enjoy it.
I think retirement is state of mind and we can be in whatever phase we want. Sounds like you have found a superb balance of enjoying what you do and gone straight to phase 4!
Lots of good stuff in this reply, thank you.
100% agreed - same here and hope it stays that way 👍
The glass is always half full, loved reading your positive appraisal of life in retirement. I started an outdoor cleaning business when I was 60 and full intend to keep cleaning into my 70s. I’m 65 now. If I’m not working outside, I’m managing the business inside (invoicing, accounting, digital marketing etc) or cooking dinner for my wife and I (she’s younger than me and works four days a week). Our three day weekends are all about walking, birding and getting ingredients for our meals. Grandchildren on the way too! I think you get out what you put in and having a positive mindset is a great constant 👍
Retirees facing financial challenges often couldn't save enough during their working years. Retirement decisions play a pivotal role. Despite my parents having similar years in civil service, my mom invested with a wealth manager, while my dad relied on his 401(k). As a result, my mom retired with approximately 3.7 million, whereas my dad retired with around 1.4 million
Yes, it's true. In my mid-50s now, my wife and I were on a similar path. In the last two years, I switched to her wealth manager. While I haven't matched her long-term profits, I'm earning more. I'm making money even before retiring, and my retirement fund has grown significantly compared to relying solely on the 401(k).
It's unfortunate that many lack this information. I understand why people might panic. The lack of knowledge can be a significant obstacle. Personally, I've been generating over $33k passively through investments with an advisor, requiring minimal effort. Regardless of economic conditions, skilled wealth managers consistently yield returns.
I believe it's something I should pursue, but I've been procrastinating for a while. I'm uncertain about which firm to choose; they all seem similar to me.
Firms often prioritise their commissions over your profits, which can be frustrating. I prefer individual investors who earn a commission based on profits, not capital. Personally, I'm working with Stacey Lee Decker, and she's been outstanding.
You scammers are relentless! Anything for a buck right...
Retired for over six years now and my only down side is regretting how much of my life was wasted working for a living.
I worked in a very toxic work culture but was too terrified to look for another job---the pay and benefits were terrific, and both my boss and my (now ex-) husband kept telling me, "Who'd hire you?" Finally, at age 67, I was downsized out. After awhile I moved into a seniors facility that is like being on a permanent cruise. I've been retired now for almost 9 years and for the first time in my life I'm actually happy. I feel like I'm "resting" from all the bad stuff in my life, and there was a lot of that. I no longer care about "finding meaning" in my life. The thought of working fills me with horror. And frankly, I STILL can't wait to get up in the morning. I do what I please, when I please and with whom I please. There is no one to get approval from any longer.
Kudos to you! The relief you must feel waking each day knowing you don't have to tolerate insufferable people (bosses, former mates, etc). And here: "I no longer care about "finding meaning" in my life,"
Sounds lovely!!
Just what I needed to watch.
My wife and I are directors of our farm business and own property, plus small pensions. I am nearly 55, my wife is 52.
We have started to save to retire from the farm, and possibly live on rental income, I'd really appreciate you go LIVE and talk about how to earn passive income online and retire comfortably, let’s say $1M.
Find stocks with market-beating yields and shares that at least keep pace with the market for a long term. For a successful long-term strategy I recommend you seek the guidance a broker or financial advisor.
Very true , I diversified my $400K portfolio across multiple market with the aid of an investment advisor, I have been able to generate over $900k in net profit across high dividend yield stocks, ETF and bonds in few months.
@@elliot985 Please can you leave the info of your investment advisor here? I’m in dire need for one.
@@robertosaviano215 You can do your research and be on the lookout for one with intelligent strategies who'll help your portfolio maintain an unwavering and a progressive growth. Isabel Cecilia Ramsey is my FA. She has the Flexibility & Expertise to Meet Your Needs. Verify her yourself
@@elliot985 I just looked up Isabel online and researched her accreditation. She seem very proficient, I wrote her detailing my Fin-market goals and scheduled a call.
People are working and there is little or nothing to show for it. everybody is basically working to sort out one bill or the other. no savings.
With inflation running at a four-decade high, a Recession is now the ‘most likely outcome for the economy. How can I grow my portfolio to outpace inflation and maintain a successful long-term strategy? I have been reading of investors making about $250k profit in this current crashing market, and I need ideas on how to achieve similar profits.
You’re right! The current market might give opportunities to maximize profit, but in order to execute such effective transactions, you must be a skilled practitioner.
I agree, that's the more reason I prefer my day to day invt decisions being guided by a invt-coach, seeing that their entire skillset is built around going long and short at the same time both employing risk for its asymmetrical upside and laying off risk as a hedge against the inevitable downward turns, coupled with the exclusive information/analysis they have, it's near impossible to not out-perform, been using a invt-coach for over 2years+ and I've netted over 1.5million
@@AlexanderTurke That's actually quite impressive, I could use some Info on your FA, I am looking to make a change on my finances this year as well.
@@RebeccaBellick I am being guided by “HEATHER ANN CHRISTENSEN” who I found on a CNBC interview where she was featured and reached out to her. She has since provided entry and exit points on the securities I focus on. You can look her up online if you care supervision.
This talk is for people who did not develop and nourish a life outside of work.
Western society, particularly in the US, puts so much emphasis on 'doing' and 'producing' that it is no surprise some struggle with retirement and seek to confirm their self worth by 'doing something' even in retirement. I have been retired for about 5 years now and notice that with some retirees there seems to be a competition to show who is more active or doing more charity work, etc. Kinda the same as when they had their 9-5 jobs but just without performance plans. I do agree establishing a routine is beneficial in retirement. For me it is pretty much daily exercise, yoga (including mediation), trying to learn spanish, cooking, etc. and some volunteering on the side. There is a huge mental component to being OK without 'doing stuff' to prove your self worth. It is so great being able to do what you enjoy without the hassle of trying to squeeze it in around a 9-5. But I think I am most happy when someone asks me what do I do with all my free time and all I say is 'just being happy'.
Agree!
Yeah I’ve been retired a couple of years. I do miss the routine and contributing to the broader society but I’m happy doing things for my immediate family for now. I don’t miss dealing with staff and customers.
Great point. Are jobs are more a part of our identity than it should be it seems.
Great perspective! Thank you
Bingo. Yes, I was struck how there wasn’t a single word about deepening own’s own spirituality, or maintaining physical vibrancy. That alone can be a “full time job!” ;)
I’m 66, divorced and retired for several years, alone but not lonely! Workout everyday , bike ride along the river, hiking and fishing. Top it it off with lots of travel. And read a couple books a week. Life is good.
Never a worry for me. My husband had numerous hobbies…physical ones, brainy ones. Still downhill skied in his 70’s, sailed, Tai Chi….astronomy, RC gliders, and MORE. At 78 a brain aneurism took him suddenly. He went out on a high….active, doing what he loved. I’m the one that’s dealing with loss. I’m 85 now and life seems to be one long exercise in letting go.
shirleyclemmer3: Your husband seems to have been such a positive influence in your life and he’s still in your thoughts and therefore still by your side now. Consider carrying on his legacy of vitality and positivity with your own twist/stamp on it. Wishing you well.
Loss of routine is to be welcomed, not feared. Escaping the daily grind and not being locked into a schedule, is fantastic.
Baloney. I'm 74 years-old and retired 16 years ago. I'm still in phase 1 and couldn't be happier.
This comment made my day! 👏👏👏
A fellow dog walker and weed whacker.
Chacon a son gout!
So you think that what is baloney for you is baloney for others? Thanksfully, for society's sake, some of us need a purpose in life beyond our own pleasure.
I am 75 years old and 10 years into retirement. All of it spent in phase 1 with a smattering of phase 3. After a working and personal life of service to others, I'm done with that! I'm the focus of my 'service' now and lovin' every minute of it! But I am glad you have found a system that works for yourself, too.
I love this - excellent presentation. I consider myself to be very fortunate. I was able to retire at age 59, and I just turned 70. I've thoroughly enjoyed all of that retirement time. But it may be different for me. I'm extremely introverted, but for some reason often found myself in management positions. Parts of it I loved, e.g., being a resource for individuals and helping them reach their potential. But the rest was exhausting - meetings, being around some people trying to puff themselves up and impress others. I had no desire to try to do any of that.
Then I retired. What a blessing! I live in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, so I was able to resume my duties watching the clouds and monitoring the mountains - well, because somebody has to do it. I report weather events to the National Weather Service, keep track of the birds, deer, bears, mountain lions, and moose. I'm also blessed with a wonderful wife, two wonderful sons, and two rather exhausting grandsons (ages 4 and 1). I've also done a fair amount of editing of various types and taken apart quite a few old pocket watches (getting them back together is a different issue).
Of course there are some downsides. I'm unable to play guitar and bass (I've played since I was 13) due to severe arthritis in my hands, and I'm no longer able to enjoy boating in the Great Lakes as I once did due to issues with balance - I'm not too eager to fall overboard.
I have no problems with being alone (I'm never lonely) and "squeezing all the juice" out of the quiet and beauty that surrounds me. And I still keep in touch with friends from my younger days who are important to me. We just pick up our relationships where we left off.
My family has always been more important than my career, and I think that's what helped me prepare for retirement (though it did not help my financial progression). I also developed many interests and hobbies outside of work. I certainly understand and know people who have had problems adjusting to such a major life change as retirement. But hang in there and listen to the excellent advice presented by Dr. Moynes - you'll get to Phase 4.
PS - Apologies for the long post; the words just came flying out of my fingers...
Thanks for the talk. I'm completely happy at this stage of my life with the situation
I'm in.
👍
Hi - I enjoyed reading your story. I'm recently retired 71 and truly enjoying it too. Onward!
I really enjoyed reading this - thank you.
Yes. I agree with your point of view. Retirement is a phase of life to sit back, relax and enjoy life by doing nothing
My wife and I did very well in the amount of money that we amassed for retirement. Well over 80% of that money was made because of taking advantage of buying high-end stocks at a deep discount during the Great Recession. 2009 I fired the stockbroker got rid of all mutual funds and bought individual dividend stocks. Be patient don't get scared and do your homework and you can make a killing
I'm 54 and my wife and I are very worried about our future, gas and food prices rising daily. We have had our savings dwindle with the cost of living into the stratosphere, we are finding it impossible to replace it. We can get by, but cant seem to get ahead. My condolences to anyone retiring in this crisis, all those years of work just to loose it all to a crisis you didn't cause.
@@MIchaelGuzman737 I feel your pain mate, as a fellow retiree I’d suggest you look into passive index fund investing and learn some more. For me, I had my share of ups and downs when I first started looking for a consistent passive income so I hired an expert advisor "Theresa Mary Chamblee'', this year for assistance, and following her advice, I poured $150k in passive diversified safe-haven assets and its yielded $325k so far. Nothing special, just proper diversification and a cut loss and take profit strategy.
I think it's especially difficult for retirees and near retirees, I know to focus on the long term but the anxiety when you're supposed to be retiring in 3-5 years is exhausting. it's hard for me to take part in the market right now due to the fulltime nature of my job. it will be way to stressful to combine so i don't even think about it
I think people who suffer are the ones who don't think about their future and don't invest. Investing has really saved many lives and got people off the streets. everyone needs more than there basic salary to be financially secured. the best thing to do with your money is to invest. Money left in savings always end up used with no returns.
Every single bear (U.S.) market eventually recovered and hit new ATHs, and every stock investor wished they bought more during the sell-off. Buffett bought $600 million more $AAPL during a 3 day sell-off in Q1 2022. The wealthy get this and it's 1 reason they keep getting richer
I'm 54 and my wife and I are VERY worried about our future, gas and food prices rising daily. We have had our savings dwindle with the cost of living into the stratosphere, and we are finding it impossible to replace them. We can get by, but can't seem to get ahead. My condolences to anyone retiring in this crisis, 30 years nonstop just for a crooked system to take all you worked for.
@@AustinWalker67 That's actually quite impressive, I could use some Info on your FA, I am looking to make a change on my finances this year as well
@@AustinWalker67 The crazy part is that those advisors are probably outperforming the market and raising good returns but some are charging fees over fees that drain your portfolio. Is this the case with yours too?
@@AustinWalker67 I will give this a look, thanks a bunch for sharing.
My phase 4 is my grandchildren. I am giving myself to them for as long as I am able.
They are amazing people to spend time with.
@@donaldgossett1736 AND help keep you on your toes, physically and mentally.
I’ve been retired 14 years now and am still enjoying phase one of complete freedom. For each his own.
Awesome advice just what i needed theres gold gems in old Goots
Shallow people would be fine in phase one. Those with a strong drive of purpose and service would not.
@@johnestupido1418 how sad that you would say that. You have no idea what is happening or has happened in that person's life. Don't be so judgemental.
@@petefols153 Actually, in my 60 years of life, I can cut to the chase. But you keep on with you virtue signaling. It is kind of cute in a naïve way.
@@johnestupido1418 LOL your pseudonym fits you well.
I've been retired for twenty years. I'm now 76 and still in phase one. This is where I intend to stay. I've paid my debt to society, thank you.
Good for you. Some people seem to have to be “worthy” or what they see as worthy. I do what suits me. Nobody can tell me what to do anymore. I go through these phases regularly and then move on to another phase and back again maybe. 😂
That sounds like the best outcome …
I began the process of retiring a few months before my 55th birthday when I got a corporate buyout. But I just transitioned to doing work that I enjoyed. I became a college professor, and didn’t fully retire until the middle of my 71st year. But I spent those 16 years preparing for retirement, taking long vacations and traveling in the summer. I was working half the hours I put in during my corporate life. After finally retiring, I spent three years of frequent travel, then CoviD hit. But I had books I wanted to read and other interests, so it wasn’t too bad. The tough part was physical aging. I had physical limitations that stopped my skiing, running and sports activities, I was losing my hearing to the point of having difficulty in conversation and limiting many other activities. 65 to 75 is the “young old” age group. At 76, you are just entering the “old” group, and will find yourself losing activities that you enjoy as you move toward the 85+ “old old” demographic. Even if you succeed in staying in phase one, it will become challenging.
Same here, Meredith. Retired for 6 years and apparently still on ¨phase 1¨. At the beginning I had some sense of loss but it didn't last long. New relationships pop up. New routines are built. Of course, we are all different. Some people have forged their identities based on their jobs and that's understandable. But in general, I couldn't disagree more with what is implied in this lecture.
I love it!😃😃😃😃
At 8 years into my retirement, I feel no loss at all and I still enjoy every day as much as the first. Living alone and having a broad range of interests, as well as a never-ending stream of ideas to explore, boredom has never been a problem for me. I still fondly love saying that, when you're retired, every day is Saturday. Having never identified myself by what I did for a living really makes a positive difference.
That’s what I say when people ask me how I like retirement. “How do you like Saturdays?”
May I ask? What do you mean by never identifying yourself with what you did for a living? Care to explain, please.
@@teresitaabad2962 Sure, Teresita. It's quite common, especially with men, to derive ther identity from their work. In other words, for example, I was an architectural/engineering draftsman for 31 years. That was what I did for a living, but that is not who or what I am. I have always had many other interests and I identify myself more with those other interests (artist, photographer, writer, etc) than I ever did as a draftsman. What I did for a living was not who I am. Men (some women, as well, I would imagine) are in the habit of answering the question, "what do you do?" with whatever their occupation is. This is especially true for professionals, like doctors or lawyers. So, many men's identity as a person becomes an extension of what they do for a living. When they retire, they go through a crisis of identity because what they are is wrapped up with what they do. It can be unbearable for some men, as their whole life IS what they do for a living. I've never had that problem. While I was making a living as a draftsman, I never answered the question, "what do you do?," or especially, "who are you?" with the name of my occupation. Now, in retirement, I think of myself as a photographer more than anything else, even though I've never made my income from photography.
@@teresitaabad2962 I would assume that he meant he didn't get his self worth from a job so when he left there was nothing to miss. 15 years now since I retired and I have pretty much purged 30 years of working from my memory. I never went back or talked to one person from that period. There's so many things to do in this world besides gauging yourself by how much money you made for somebody else.
Wish I was like you...I'm bored and went back to work parttime.
I retired at 50. I’m now 57. I found that phase one can be enjoyed for years as long as alcohol is carefully controlled or given up entirely.
I quickly taught myself that my once ‘all consuming’ thirty year career was just a job that didn’t define me. It was something I did once and do no more. I loved it once but don’t miss it.
Some of my friends try to ‘squeeze the most out of retirement’ and they end up chasing round like Alice’s white rabbit, never feeling like they’ve ‘done enough, seen enough, belonged to enough’. That attitude can haunt as much as it helps.
What works for me is to let go of the need for power, status, and social acceptance, eat and drink in moderation, exercise in ways I enjoy, appreciate the little things, and keep waking up the following morning.
thank you for sharing BB; I’m in a similar situation to you (working part time now - by choice) ~ slow transition to retirement ~ away from work ~ I play music 🥁 🎸 and also surf 🏄♂️💦 all of which take up lots of enjoyable time and as you’d know great for physical and mental health .. 🙏🏼🇦🇺
@@bodhi9464 Sounds fantastic. Keep enjoying those waves, and try not to rob any banks 😉🏴🇦🇺
@Ian I can’t say too much. 😉
I had to resign at 56 due to health issues and am now 58 still in phase 1 (forced retirement) . Hope to be up & about soon and 'do something'.
@@nahidsyyed906 Good luck, Nahid.
I retired less than 2 months ago and am already in Phase 2. Had no idea of the mental challenges I'd feel. This talk was perfect medicine for me to keep trying until I re-find my place.
Yes I am over 2 years retired but due to covid and isolating it's tough to get out there. Travel by vehicle has been great but I am still struggling with anxiety regarding getting on a plane. So more travel and finding more community are my goals for 2023. It;s definitely a process and to keep trying new things and new people with similar interests. I think you can go from one phase to another and back again.
This was very good. However, I think one phase was overlooked. I’ll call it the Caregiver Pause Phase - experienced more often (but not exclusively) by female retirees. This is the phase where you are forced by desire and/or obligation to pause your natural retirement flow and take on an unpaid difficult and exhausting job of managing the finances and/or healthcare of elderly parents or other relatives. It can entirely interrupt your retirement for months or years, and depending on numerous factors it can be a blessing or a burden.
Just surprised he didn’t mention it!
NAILED IT, Martha! 👍
He didn't mention it because he is not a woman.
Or your spouse!
Yep. I didn’t get that freedom of retiring. I was so looking forward to it.
That is a really good point. I know many women including myself who ended up in that situation.
The Men’s Shed movement, begun in Australia, is excellent for old guys helping each other and helping the community. I’m a retired builder and teach woodwork to our members and make quality wooden toys for the community.
Wonderful - pay it forward, my friend. 👍
I retired at 56 and my advice to everyone one is retire as soon as you can life is too short you never know if you will be here next week stop saying I’m gonna…… do it
it was one of the best and easiest things I
have ever done
Retired for 8 months & it has been life changing. Now sleep a deep 8 hours every night, eat so much more healthier than I ever had in my entire life with a 40 lb weight loss, and doing whatever I want, whenever I want. If this is all there is to retirement, then that's fine with me. As long as you have your health & enough brain cells & money to survive, retirement is heaven on earth.
God said you're not supposed to retire.
@@steveletro4252 The Lord Jesus Christ.
@Ian The existence of Jerusalem proves the existence of God.
@@davidlafleche1142 First, define retirement. Are you talking about laziness, or financial freedom to determine how you spend your time? I think that is a significant distinction. Second, chapter and verse, please.
@@paulplant7956 God says man must keep working until he dies. We can take a day off, take a vacation, etc.; but retirement is a sin.
Phase 1: Vacation phase, lasts about 1 yr 3:45
Phase 2: Loss and lost, lose the big 5, routine/identity/relationships/purpose/power divorce/depression/fear/decline 4:48
Phase 3: Trial and error, searching for meaning, contribute, failure 6:35
Phase 4: Happy, reinvent, rewire, answer questions-mission, activities, accomplishments, service 8:38
Thanks for posting what should be in the introduction
The post this at beginning and no need for all the waisted air.
Or you go into total decline and end up in a subsidized care facility for the ageing
If I retired I would be sure to go straight into Phase 2, shortly followed Phase 3. Then to Phase 5.
Thank you.
After watching this talk, I have decided to never retire voluntarily. I am just reducing the hours that I work and that gives me the best of both worlds.
This is definitely a talk one should listen to several times over.
I have been retired since 2003. It is all vacation to me. I spend 4 hours per day on-line, continuing my education, and keeping up-to-date on the latest science. With my freedom, I like to travel, and explore countries, and cultures, and making new friends. No phase two for me!
Exactly, if people need the identity from working then they should just keep working until the drop.
suuure, why did you click on the video then, LoL
A month ago I placed a comment on this, and advised that I'd had around 75,000 views on my on videos of Retirement. Today, I can tell you I now have around 86,000 views and over 1,000 subscribers. This is not only an indication that I'm succeeding in my aims for helping more people (I'm 87 and have been retired for 28 years) but there is a huge demand for this sort of subject matter. Keep it up, Riley. People need you.
I retired at 56 after 35 years as a nurse. That was almost 5 years ago. I work part time to keep my sanity. You simply cannot sit around doing nothing. I dabble in learning new instruments, restore pianos, drive as a courier and raise my young daughter whom was a complete surprise. Just having the opportunity to do things that was not possible when working has been wonderful. I never had many friends before retirement, I don’t miss having friends. Most of my family and closest friends throughout life have already passed away. It’s important to get out there and make new friends. My oldest daughter is pregnant and so will be my first grandchild. I am excited to become a grandfather. Life is a series of phases and always changing. The alternate is death, and I’m just not ready for that just yet. I have many family members waiting for me in the next life. I have had a strange good life. Certainly not the path I wanted, but how many of us really get everything we want in life?
I’m 60 and retired 5 years ago. Before I retired, I went back to college, got a master’s degree and started a completely different career. I plan on working the rest of my life. Our mind and bodies are not made to be idle.
Who says we’re idol just because we don’t have a full time job? I have never been so busy
I too feel that we somehow keep ourselves fully occupied even without our usual past office going routine ! Let me say this but Indian conditions
I am a Chartered accountant with such challenging some times stressful to accomplish something for your company and justify your pay cheque . This was going on from 40 years , you sleep and wake up with the same thoughts Hey what if this situation continues in market or with banks to support our company and then how I am going get my children the right academic institutions and then try to look for proper guidance for them so that they don't miss out on marks etc . That is over now! God Bless all of us
Now I am retired ( rather forced to as I could not and do not want to go to new work place at this age or I don't see my relevance in any place probably ) well so I thought let's enjoy phase 1 ! But the point I want to say is that I am still busy how ? I get up at 5.30 am go for a walk from 6.15 to 7 am and do some yoga 5 days for one hour then BF and watching share market ( for whatever pea nuts shares I hold ) and the use that knowledge to wsapp my expertise with everyone as if I am jhunjun wala who owns some 1000 crs worth of stocks and then open my laptop and chat in LinkedIn with my industry guys as of I know or I did so many things during my active work life and then lunch and bit music singing on free karaoke apps and it's already 5 pm for the evening coffee ....in the middle to please my wife help her in cleaning the house , cut vegetables or then fetch vegetables spend time in the garden , then calling service guys for repairs and maintenance and then last but not the least promptly be at the door when the Amazon guy delivers a parcel every other day or couriers delivering some unwanted bank statements or some thing or other ...attend weekly a spiritual group on devotional songs etc ... And life has been going on for last few years ! So there is no phase 4 may be between phase 3 & 4
Definitely I agree that you still feel that you can do things better to get the juice out of retirement ..mmmm....
@@vijivijayaraghavan
@@vijivijayaraghavan Everyone is different. You are actually retired mentally doing what you love. You are a retired individual who happens to have a hobby he monetizes! I do too! But I get my phase one windows whenever I want!
It is a narrow world view that not working means being idle. But I think that worldview is the target audience of this talk -- people whose entire lives were defined by their work
There is potential for considerable wealth increase with the correct strategy. I want to know; How can one take advantage of compound interest and potentially grow your retirement savings/net-worth to about $3M over time?
An effective strategy serves as a cornerstone in an investor's portfolio. As the level of risk increases, so does the potential for reward, making it essential to seek advice from experienced professionals for making sound decisions.
Many underestimate the role of advisors until emotions impact their decisions. A couple of summers ago, after a lengthy divorce, I sought a boost for my business survival. I found a licensed advisor with top qualifications. Despite inflation, she has helped grow my reserve from $275k to $850k.
Precise asset allocation is crucial, with some employing hedging strategies or allocating to defensive assets for market downturns. Expert guidance is vital for success. This approach has kept me financially secure for over five years, yielding almost $1 million in investment returns.
What steps can I take to engage in this opportunity? I genuinely aim to secure my financial future and am enthusiastic about taking part.
Karen Leigh Owens is the licensed coach I use. Just research the name. You'd find necessary details to work with a correspondence to set up an appointment.
Excellent, excellent, excellent. I’m 73 and 3 years retired. My phase one was Covid 19 so missed the travel year and went straight into phase 2. It was a tough 2 years. Not only the loss of friendships, power, routine etc but the isolation of Covid was devastating. Got thru it and now I’m going to do my Phase 1 this year.
Thanks for you great perspective.
I wish you a wonder~filled amazing phase 1 year!!!
I’m closing in on my retirement and I’d like to move from Minnesota to a warmer climate, but the prices on homes are stupidly ridiculous and Mortgage prices has been skyrocketing on a roll(currently over 7%) do I just invest my spare cash into stock and wait for a housing crash or should I go ahead to buy a home anyways.
Indeed, the recent market downturn serves as evidence that a vast majority of individuals lacked a sufficient understanding of the underlying financial dynamics at play.
@Margaret I need suggestions to assist me recover my portfolio and create more effective strategies because of the huge dips. How do I locate this coach?
@Margaret
Thank you very much for this. I'll follow her up now. Do you know if she has minimum and maximum amounts she works with?
I retired at 52 and am the happiest I've ever been. Never felt any of these things mentioned. I slept till noon for a month, just totally exhausted. Then I sat outside on warm days with the sun on my face and said to myself this is what I missed. Loved it!
Yes, I felt almost traumatized after the last few years of teaching and it took months to kind of feel like I had healed a bit. Now it is wonderful and the world is my oyster.
52 ? Were you a lifelong govt hack ? So no real difference between your working and retired days lololol. Sitting around doing very little.
@@matt75hooper Rude!
@@davidgw59 probably doesn't know any better.
Thank you. I came across this video by chance. I took early retirement 6 years ago. Phase 1 with a mix of phase 4 lasted up to last year when my wife of 40 years decided she wanted a divorce. That knocked me back and i now recognise that im in exactly what you describe as phase 2. When i retired i got involved school projects helping kids build airplanes. Being a pilot i felt it a good way to pass on my experience and knowledge. I found it very enjoyable and rewarding and the kids got a lot out of it, especially when i flew them in the aircraft they helped to build. I gave it all up last year. Going through the divorce has not only been a massive hit financially but emotionally as well. Ive almost become a recluse. This video has inspired me. Im going to get back out there and squeeze the juice. Im just about to turn 65, and i know what i want to do, so im going to get back into those projects. Hopefully i have time to do a lot of sqeezing.
Do your best Sir, it will surely be appreciated. God bless you.
Yes, please get out there and enjoy life! 65 is new 45!
The world needs your skills. Please pass them on.
I’m trying to plan for my retirement(I have none) and I understand that a recession is where many people make money. Someone I listened to on a podcast made a profit of $150K in less than a month. I'd appreciate any tips
There are a lot of strategies to make tongue-wetting profit especially in this down market, but such sophisticated trades can only be carried out by proper market experts
You’re right @Latham. My personal portfolio of approximately $550k took a big hit as well in April due to the crash. I quickly got in touch with a financial planner that devised a defensive strategy to protect and profit my portfolio this red season. I’ve made over $120k since then.
Who is this individual guiding you? I lost over $9 000 just last week, so I’m in dire need of a flnancial-planner.
@@alwaysbusy7230 The a dvisor I use is “ Dawn Marie Gatti ” she's verif iable, so you could just look her up.
Such a great tip, it was eas y to find your ha ndler. Did my due diligence on her before scheduling a ca ll with her. She seems proficient considering her ré sumé.
Everybody is concerned about the market going down but refusing to take advantage of it. The best decision I ever made in my life was investing regardless of the market condition. I made over 118k.USD with a start up of 39k.USD in the last three months . Trust me guys, it really pays a lot!
I really want to ínvest heavily but I don't know how to navigate the market
The mistake most newbies make is rushing into trading without adequate knowledge or guide
Hey someone talked about researching and trading without professional guide...huh I laugh you, because you will remain where you are or even make huge losses that will stop you from trading, this has been one of the biggest problems to new traders
The comments above are not real - they are all from the same person, logged on in different accounts. They are attempting to scam you. Some signs:
- they don’t actually write the word “crypto”, they use diacritics or substitution (crypt0) to make it less likely their comment is flagged.
- they all agree. Not one person says “only idiots are still investing in crypto”, which is what 95% of people think.
- their returns are not credible. Nobody ever triples their money in such a short period of time.
- they try to get you to contact a WhatsApp number, but instead of posting the number, they break it down across three comments.
Love this!
Articulate! Emotional! Humorous!
Above all, it's about restarting one's life when "work" is over.
No work is over,you can never stop acting, your faculties continue to perform so never remain idle, the mind travels fast you need to reinvent
Nice video!! Very engaging.
Rich people have assets, which are inflation proof. On the other hand, earned income is vulnerable to inflation. That's why the rich get richer in inflationary environments. An example, wealthy person may own several homes, rental properties(Commercial/Residential), businesses, productive land, equities, bonds, etc. The average W2 employee gets taxed the highest rate, they own almost no productive assets.
>Inflation is killing my budget and my salary. I can't invest anymore and it seems like I will need to sell all of my risk assets to keep my head above the water this year.
Inflation is eating up the Economy but, the rise and fall of much of finance depends on investment and risk taking, that's a fact.
Investment on risk assets (stocks, crypto, etc) is easier with proper guidance, especially from a proffessional it really helps reduce the chances of running into losses
I had this experience during the last economic downturn and thought I had lost everything but thanks to Ms. Jennifer Marie Ferguson who managed my portfolio, I recovered all my losses.
Stop managing your portfolio and write to her since you keep losing money, she's a trading pro. She will help you win passively.
I’m 76 and retired from teaching 13-18 year olds History seventeen years ago. I’ve been fortunate to enjoy good health. Retirement has been fulfilling and I’ve never been bored. I’ve done voluntary work with refugees and the Red Cross which has broadened my horizons considerably. I’ve lead tours of small groups to India and elsewhere and I still ride my motorbike to countries like Spain and Portugal. My greatest happiness comes from my grandchildren and family as well as friends. As time passes I’m all too aware how limited it is and am thankful for each day. Sit down and think what you want to do it then do it!
Excellent analysis and presentation. I'm 71 and retired at age 60. The retirement was a forced self-imposed event however, due to pending severe health. Pending due to a failing liver that would require a "slower" pace and careful monitoring. Eventually as the realization of my future became clearer I settled into phase I ( sort of) but phase II followed after the first 2 years. Tried phase III but had "limited success". Cooking however lingered and fell over into phase 4. Started a TH-cam cooking channel with my wife and enjoy it immensely (The Insecure Chef). Seeing children and grandchildren with both groups occasionally asking advice, made it clear that I'm still of use to myself and my family. Be patient, it takes time but God willing phase 4 will pop up one morning.
Oh, and by the way, received a liver transplant on Thanksgiving 2019 and feel better then ever. Good luck.
Good to hear about your improved health! Wishing you much success and happiness with your YT channel.
@@cristinaxo Thank you. It is appreciated.
I retired at 58, also because of a health matter(Failed back surgery, which left me with limited movement and chronic pain). 2 months after retirement my mother became chronically I'll with an assortment of ills(Intestinal bleed,Cancer,Stroke, Heart Attack). I cared for her on a daily basis 7 days a week until her death at age 90 in 2021. I now feel lost because of the loss of routine like the speaker mentioned not to mention the loss of my mother. Even though I was financially prepared, the state of the economy is a strain on me.
This is my favorite reply! Physical challenges disrupt a life differently than retiring when you are healthy. But I think that because of the obstacles, we appreciate our time very differently. Not everyone can walk, or drive, or even get out.
I retired at 60 through stress. I didnt expect it and am just accepting it now...sort of. I am beginning to plan to enjoy my time walking hobbies and grandkids. Its been 2 yrs for me to begin retirement now im 62
I'm almost 60 and I have been watching a lot of videos about retirement. This has been the best one yet! THANK YOU!
That's pretty early if you think about possibly living to 90 or more, but if you have a lot of friends and other interests in your life-enjoy!
My retirement motto is " simple living, simple thinking "! Enjoying a totally relaxed lifestyle. Focusing on my health, and well-being, things that I enjoy doing such as exercising, cooking, shopping, researching online, vlogging, and spending the evening watching the glorious sunset while drinking my favorite brewed coffee followed by late evening 'happy hour' with my favorite chilled beer or gin n tonic, popcorn, tuna salad w/boiled peanuts garnished with chili oil, onions and tomatoes, and olives!
When asked what are you doing nowadays I reply that I am Totally Retired! Practicing the art of doing Nothing but enjoying the Stillness and beauty of Mother Nature and delving deep into myself, contemplating, meditating, realizing how wonderful this world is, and truly appreciating the finer things in life.
Great video, Another factor to add is Do they spend a lot of time planning their financial future? The majority of people do not engage in planing for their future
True, It has never been harder to understand how to build your money after retirement than it is right now with the inflation. The impacts of the U.S. dollar's gain or fall on investments, in my opinion are complex
Opting for an investment advisor is currently the optimal approach for navigating the stock market, particularly for those nearing retirement. I've been consulting with a coach for a while, and my portfolio has surged by 45% since Q2.
Market behavior can be complex and unpredictable. Mind if I ask you to recommend this particular coach to whom you have used their services?
The decision on when to pick an Adviser is a very personal one. I take guidance from Amber Angelyn O' Malley to meet my growth goals and avoid mistakes, she's well-qualified and her page can be easily found on the net.
Thanks, I just googled Amber Angelyn O’ Malley and I'm really impressed with her credentials. I reached out to her since I need all the assistance I can get.
Retired 5 yrs now, I’m either permanently stuck in phase 1 or skipped to 4 with 1 being my definition of success and happiness! Enjoy every minute of retirement!
That's great! It's been over 2 years for me and I have not hit phase 2 yet. I didn't over-identify with my job or think that it was my life's purpose; it was a means to an end with some satisfactions along the way. My routine was grueling and I don't miss it. I miss some of the people from my last job but my primary relationships have always been outside of work. And for me a sense of power was not applicable in my job. Who knows, maybe phase 2 will hit at some point but I am not there now.
I wonder how this differs for people who actually built a fulfilling life outside of work prior to retirement. If your work is the focus of your life and the source of your social ties, ending work may indeed be a loss. For many of us though, work is a trade off we make in order to pay for the life we actually intend to live. I suspect that retirement is much easier on those of us who don't see work as core to who we are because we won't have to spend time figuring out who we are outside of work.
Bingo!
I agree!
Well said! I have seen this in my friends who talk about retirement. The highly accomplished want to do the same thing. They cant think of anything else to do. It so consumed them ... That they cannot think of anything else. My father is the same way.
In my working life, I was busy both at work and at home. I had all bases covered. When I retired, I used to ask how I found the time to work. After a few years, phase 2 hit. What is my purpose? All this experience going to waste. Phase 3 is hard work but hard work brings results. Not in phase 4 yet, but phase 3 is going well. Like everything in life, retirement requires planning and commitment. Enjoy.
I truly believe Americans made their jobs their idols. Therefore, when they retire, they have no idea where to invest their time. So sad.
missed these stages, but it did take awhile to get used to getting a check every month without going to work. Am used to it now. After 20 years of retirement, I have no complaints. I have a great wife and life. Am blessed for sure.
Seamless: the way it should ideally be. Count your blessings b/c you are the exception to the norm.
After a couple of weeks in phase 1, I apparently went directly to phase 4. I've been retired for 9 years, and none of it sounds like the story here. The key is probably to volunteer and have hobbies that let you connect with others before you retire.
I’ve been retired 14 years now and am still enjoying phase one of complete freedom.
Me too, though I feel guilty sometime that I shall do more . I guess it's becouse I always prioritized so much when it came to my personal life
Hey Carol, good for you !
Funny, I just posted pretty much the same thing before reading your comment..
For me the secret was planning and flexibility. I experienced Phase 1 and 2 before retiring: my husband died right before COVID hit and I worked from home until I retired 2 years later. That was an incredible blessing, giving me time to grieve, reflect and think about what I wanted from my new life as a single person. By the time I officially left my job in March 2022, I was ready to jump into Phase 3. Having a long list of options helped me stay focused; I’m enjoying volunteering, yard projects, learning piano, and rebuilding my social life. I’m looking forward to Phase 4 but expect I’ll be in Phase 3 for a long time. Finding purpose is key. In my experience, my friends who are not serving others or staying socially active are the ones who struggle most.
Alisa, your last sentence hits home. My dad and his brother married sisters. So the genetics I would think are very similar. Unfortunately, my dad had dementia for 5 years before passing. My mother now at 88 is starting to show terrible signs of the disease as well. On the other hand, my aunt and uncle who are very social and active do not seem to show any mental struggles.
@@timmartin4952 I wish our society had better systems in place for aging successfully. For me, at 64, I find that staying mentally, socially and physically active helps a lot but it takes effort, planning and resiliency. Remember to care for yourself as you walk through this difficult stage of life with your mother. All the best to you.
@@timmartin4952consider this. Your mum cared for your dad I presume?
In that time of transition she understood he was changing.
Initial normal frustration of a man not remembering what was something he always had none. Frustrated because he blamed her deflecting her accusations because his memory was affected but the normal part of his brain was unaware so of course it had to be her.
The fear of discovering it wasn't kept that going then truth hopped in and he was scared.
She adopted new way of living or got even more frustrated.
She was grieving while caring for him keeping him going trying to keep him as high functioning as possible to keep him with her, to keep from that final separation.
She also has to maintain her own sanity because if not family may force her to do what she fears, separation that will be like a double death for her to handle.
She has to accept she can't expect, well anything of him and she has to let go of the security of when he could do everything automatically.
She has to walk on eggshells to keep him calm and herself too.
She has to walk in his world, adapt to his thinking and lack of and adapt to think for both of them.
So after a time that new behaviour is normal and if he did go to a home then she is left alone and simply keeps that behaviour going because it has become a habit, unconscious and automatic.
She had to stop being normal to survive life with him.
Now perhaps she simply needs encouragement and reminding she is still that other person inside.
The other reason she may indeed be slipping into that other world is because her brain indeed has been trained to go that direction and if they were so close she doesn't care anymore about being anywhere else either.
At 88 normal aging can affect memory and grief caused by loss of him even before death may have triggered her journey or allowed her to merely decide she might as well join him because life without him not worth living.
@@alisab3041 thank you very much. She took care of me and now it is my turn with her. Fortunately, I live very close so I got to help a lot with my dad. Even in his state, we shared some good times and I can look back on those and smile.
@@timmartin4952 👍 my son lives in the same town as I do, and I know we will both help each other if that’s necessary down the line. My friends with kids on either coast and no one nearby feel more vulnerable. Sending you wishes for more sunny days than cloudy ones.
One of the most sensible TED talks! Though life is not a drama done to perfection as scripted, guidelines do help. Thank you Dr.Riley!
I retired two years ago. For me, the worst part, which I'm still dealing with, is the loss of recognition and ego food that my job gave me. I went from someone well known, respected, and relied upon, to ... a nobody. I used to do spectacular things and solve problems that other people couldn't do. Now I putter.
I’m there now. I was The Answer Man. I retired this summer and am having to figure out who I am again. Don’t want to end as a Grumpy Old Fart talking about The Glory Days.
I highly recommend finding an NGO or similar that you really care about and do something like that for them, for their sake and then it will end up being for your sake, too.
Exactly...
I agree 100 per cent. Once I was helpful to people, respected for what I did, and recognized as a community leader. Now I’m totally ignored. One of the most important things in life is to be useful to others. Now I’m totally ignored.
Very common feeling. Many of us wrestle with it.
Retired in 2010. There were so many things I left behind after college that I wanted to pick back up again, and so many things I learned during my career that I wanted to take in another direction, I pretty much skipped over the vacation period. I've been able to serve my daughter in her business, take tons of classes on Masterclass and Coursera, and now I'm in the middle of the most creative period of my life. But I did prepare for this part of it. About 10 years before I retired, I started taking art classes again to catch up on the technology and blow out the cobwebs. I took a year off a 55, traveled and volunteered to give myself a preview. The most important thing is to be prepared, to be interested in life and be engaged.
Aydede
you took a year off, that was the vacation part it seems
This is such an informative talk on an issue that many don't realize is a "thing" until you get to retirement age. I plan to share it with friends. Thank you so much for your candor!
Gentle courage, optimism, walking the walk and a desire to do good for others - thanks Doc for your cheerful example to us all to change our own small part of the world for the better of all - and so for ourselves !
Loved this Dr. Moynes! My husband is processing thru this to phase 4 and I have watched him. I will explore this down the road. YOU are a blessing sharing this the way you did, I accidently came upon it..no accidents. I love helping people have passion and purpose around health and wellness in whatever phase we are in..staying healthy and learning.
As a recently retired X-Business owner, this talk is perfect timing for me. I know there will be challenges ahead and after watching Dr. Moynes TED talk I feel a little more prepared about what to expect!
Easily the best explanation of retirement I have come across. This has clarified where I am at and what I am headed. Thankyou Dr. Moynes! Love a good framework :)
I’m in phase 2, and this talk was so helpful. Thank you kind sir.
You are in phase 67. Or maybe 9 .
I hope you use phase two for some profound reflection and enjoy the challenges of phase three.
There is a pot of gold at the end of the 🌈
Well said. Go into retirement with a plan to move toward phase 4 and enjoy the trials and tribulations along the way.I have 4 more work days as a surgeon!
Happy Retirement, Dr. Lewis! And Merry Christmas!
Have you adjusted to your new-found freedom? Where does one go after being a surgeon? Travel? Trying to figure it out after retiring from life on the road. Strange to not be “going somewhere.”
Dr. Moynes perfectly describes my retirement journey to date. Happily, I have progressed to phase four. I look forward to each day since most are filled with activities in service to others.
Wow! That is exactly what happened to me. Phase one allowed me to lounge in my pajamas until I wanted to do something else. Phase two was more boredom than freedom. Phase three resulted in buying a bike to ride a mile and a half into town for lunch, then slowly adding a mile or two for a change of scenery. I met a couple of guys who were doing the same so we met for a bike ride to coffee. Each of them had a friend or two who wanted to come along, so I asked our local senior center if we could meet in their parking lot. They agreed to also be a sponsor on the condition that they could add it to their catalog. Phase four is that we have over 500 members from throughout the San Fransisco Bay area with four weekly riding groups, started other groups in nearby towns and led bike oriented vacations in ten states and six foreign countries.
I know I’ll live to be 84 because I have scheduled appointments until then. Maybe I should should schedule a two week vacation working in an office for a change of pace. My dad always said he was thinking of going back to work so he would have some spare time.
👍😄
You are my Hero
"I know I’ll live to be 84 because I have scheduled appointments until then" Hahaha, I love that remark.😀
I retired at age 53 and have been in phase one for the past four years. I'm sure phases 2-4 will happen sooner or later. They're penciled in on my schedule for whenever!
The key to contentment in retirement is knowing you gave it your all in your younger days. Let someone else carry the load. I did my part.
Thank you, Dr. Moynes, for defining some structure in retirement. We are still in Phase 1 (10 years) and may be transitioning into Phase 2. Covid-19 temporarily ended our Phase 1 adventures, but we will return to traveling next year if the Pandemic goes away. Looking forward to squeezing more juice out of retirement!
As a mother of 4 who never had a career I did not put work as my value, I raised kids, became an entrepreneur and always did what I love doing, so none of this happened to me in retirement, which looks like my life at all stages, I think Americans put to much value on work rather than personal development
Of course they do, they were conditioned since childhood to do so.
Reminds me of this: If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life.
@@alchobum So true.
To my Dad and Mom - I made it thanks to your spirit and guidance and sacrifices! Peace and Love to all who work hard and persevere. To my Grandparents who set the examples they followed.
Thank you. The first person to have a proper definition of retirement with actual action steps to move to phase 4. Amazing!
Bravo! I think my phase 2 and covid hit pretty much simultaneously -- thankful to still be around. While not a long-term goal, I've found much fulfillment working a few hours a week at food stand, which definitely involves service. What I once would have considered "menial" work provides an opportunity to connect with all walks of life.
We have been very happily retired for about 18 years, I am 77. There are many models but my advice for what it is worth is make a new it a new start, a chance to reinvent yourself on your terms. Don’t have a phase one but start on projects whatever they may be, if possible make a start before you retire, learning, training, setting up resources so you can transition into it.
Great advice
Well, that worked for you. That’s great!
Some people have had stressful long term careers without ‘unplugged’ vacations or they were not able to take their vacation time at all for decades (for instance, corporate senior managers and many middle managers in North America). Others are just used up and burnt out. So there is a need for many people to relax, recover and heal before making any new commitments. The time frame for this may vary.
@@Katnip7770 Hi Joanne, I’m not saying don’t take vacations but if you are stressed out, and I certainly was, it’s good to fill your time and mind with something you really enjoy, in my case it was teaching myself woodwork but we also went cycling in Europe and did a lot of skiing.
@@Katnip7770 Crafting hobbies such as: knitting, crochet, sewing and card-making, can be begun at any age, while working or post-retirement, by any gender.
They are mostly female-dominated, but a few brave/confident males are quite adept in each field.
Not everyone can do these hobbies, due to arthritis or failing vision, but a great many retirees and some pre-retired do them - and even a few retirees with these problems do find a way.
They function as charitable contributions and purpose if you find one of the many charities who donate these items to people in need, for whatever reason.
There's no requirement for commitment, or adherence to a schedule, and they can be quite relaxing (even as a cheaper replacement for therapy or vacations!)
Best of all, they can be done in your own time, from the safety of home.
Dr. Moynes, thank you for your talk.
What's important to prepare for retirement is to develop interests in things outside of work so you know what you can do in Phase 4. If you are a workaholic and don't cultivate genuine interest in non-work endeavors, you'll flounder in Phase 4. In fact, if you're really passionate about something other than work, you can skip phases 1 through 3 and go directly into Phase 4. I developed a passion for making music with my ukulele, singing with a ukulele club, in the latter years of my work life. So when I finally quit my career, I found a senior center that had lots of activities but not ukulele. I started a ukulele club there and taught other seniors how to play and sing and have fun together while stimulating their mind, exercising their lungs, and retrieving their memories of songs they used to love listening to. I still get a lot of joy from teaching the seniors music with the little ukulele. If you don't have a clue about what you'll love doing in Phase 4, watch some videos on TH-cam to explore the possibilities. That's how I got started with the ukulele.
This is such a brilliant talk and so well-delivered. I have sent it to family members and have written your points down for when I am at this point in my life. Thank you so much.
Very real talk from you Dr. I moved from phase 1 - 3 in one month. I think the COVID time got me ready because of the stay-home-zoom-it-in time. A gentlemen years ago who was close to retirement told me that you need to retire TO something. You don’t retire from anything. This stuck with me and I got into mentoring. Many young people are looking for a mentor even though they don’t realize it until they experience someone they can relate to. Good for you for bringing this out.
I was a stay at home/homeschooling mom of seven. My husband is still working, I have gone straight to phase 2🙄 but I must say it helps to know about the four stages and it also give me hope for the future.
For me, the last 2.5 years working from home were the best intro to retirement for me. It taught me that work is not what defines me (35+ at my current employer) and helped me let go of my work friends and find new friends. It helped break my routines and develop new routines. And I found new hobbies. One of the best things I did was concentrate on improving my health. I now know that I will love retirement because I have my health and I have many new interests. I hope that all retirees have the same fortune and enjoy many years of joy during retirement. Blessings.
I think what you did as a job affects how you retire. I was a cop for 30 years and retired at 56. I got bored. I tried a part time job but lasted 3 months as it wasn’t fulfilling enough. An opportunity to rejoin as a civilian investigator came up and i took it. I realised i wasn’t ready to retire. I’m going to review it again at 65.
Excellent! I retired in May 2020 and, because of lockdowns and fear of leaving home, I lingered in a blend of Phase 1 and Phase 2. I am encouraged by your presentation and looking forward to the freedoms of Phases 3 and 4.
My husband retired almost three years ago, and I literally have to limit him to about 50 hours a week of manual work around the house - we now have a deal that he can work on the house and garden while I'm working, then we take the dog for a walk together, and evenings and weekends need to be relaxing! We've gotten a new roof, new windows, new garage doors, new siding - all in the past three years. He has built a raised bed garden that we now eat from daily. When he runs out of projects, he may hit one of these phases. I just hope it's phase 4!
Please send him to my house. Nothing has been kept up since my husband died!!!
My husband is retiring next week. Thanks for the advice. Your husband sounds like mine. I'm worried that my husband will just spend all day, everyday working at home. Good idea to set limits.
We need more people who share their knowlege about life as nicely and generously as Dr. Moynes. Many thanks!
I have been retired comfortably for 22 years. For me, the first phase of retirement is the urge to travel (including seeing long lost relatives), then after I get tired of traveling after two years, I would look for something to do. In my case, I wanted to go back to school and get an accounting degree. That didn't pan out since I couldn't keep up, so I just drifted around to find a place to settle down. This was my second phase and took seven years (I found a place to settle down). My third phase is paying attention to my health and my finances and is still ongoing. The fourth phase is sitting back and think of what you have done in your life. I am 90 years old.
90 awesome!
This is an amazing talk Riley, and I have sent this talk to many folks who are just starting retirement- you layed it all out so well. Knowledge is Power. You did a great job and nailed it!!
This is a great roadmap to planning your post-employment future. While you may find yourself in overlapped stages, Dr Riley really hits the nail on the head!
I retired at 55 and now in my 3rd year and I'm still firmly in phase 1.
Thank you, Dr. Moyne. I'm staring down the barrel of retirement, holding on to my working life with white knuckles, even though I don't need the income, under the pretext of "I like my job and I enjoy working around (much) younger people". I never planned to retire to shuffleboard (or curling) and BINGO, and I have many proven avenues where I can continue to grow and contribute, but I'm reluctant to pull the trigger. Thanks for your thoughtful, encouraging, and perfectly timed talk. Thank you also, O TH-cam Algorithms, for suggesting this TEDx talk to me. You got it right this time.
What caliber is the barrel…squinting might help
Go ahead, pull the trigger. The freedom is fantastic!!!! It will take time to adjust. Enjoy the ride!!!!
Pretty interesting. I've learned that retirement is not a goal but a process of reinventing yourself and not as straightforward or easy as popular culture makes it sound. I “retired” just before I turned 71 and Phase one lasted about 4 months for then I went back to work. This was a super timely talk for me. Thank you
I've been retired for a year now and it's a mixture of phases one and four. But what really helped us out was 11 years before we retired we moved from the city to 32 acres in a rural area. I get to mow 9 acres of lawn, I get to do a lot of reading now, I'm finishing the interior of a pole barn I had built that can now be used both as a shop building as well as a large music room next to it, man cave, craft room for all of us. There's literally always something to do here. I know I play in my church's band, I occasionally teach Sunday school, and would like to do more of the latter.
Human beings are wired to get joy from helping others. If you're not helping others it's just a road to misery. And that's whether you're retired or not. The difference between now and when I was earning a living is now I get to do what I really think is important rather than what I need to do to make money to live.
This is more my kind of comment. I will be 60 in a couple of months and plan on retiring 3 months after I turn 62. I think you had the right plan with the workshop and staying busy doing handyman type stuff and working with the church. I bought 3.5 acres of vacant land last year that's not even a mile from our subdivision. I plan to build a metal workshop there and have a garden and place to burn brush from the yard and have bonfires. The land has a large pond on it and crazy as it sounds, I want to try farming Talapia and fresh water shrimp. Maybe even aquarium fish. Money will not be an issue because I have us setup to have a little more income than what we are making now. I am really hoping I just stay in Phase 1 for a long time to come. I was never the type to get glued to work and work relationships and all of that so I don't really think I will miss it even tho I have been in my career for 35 years which is construction engineering. Anyway nice comment and good luck!
I'm happily retired, but contrary to the Dr.'s advice, I don't participate in service to others. I'm 67 and retired at 59. My three main occupations are: 1. Riding motorcycles around the USA, Canada and all over Latin America on long trips. 2. Driving my Corvette on racetracks, and 3. Intensively studying Spanish. Out of these three, riding motorcycles solo around Latin America each winter is the most rewarding and challenging. It's worked for me, and fortunately I saved and invested well in the stock market and real estate, so money isn't an issue regarding anything i want to do. I wish my wife had more interests (she's five years older than me), but she seems happy enough (I think), working as a volunteer on the local political scene and reading. We both exercise a lot also.
You my hero !!!
Very helpful. I've been retired since January. Still finding my way. This road map sure helps.