Broooo this was so painful to watch 😂😂😢 My old team had a Jared. He said and did whatever he wanted and no one said shit to him because he built a large part of the codebase. Lmao
For those wondering why Agile teams use "story points" and not "days", it's because they are not a unit of _time_ but a unit of _complexity_ They transate to time when the task is assigned, proportionally to the assignee's velocity. Tasks are evaluated in terms of story points _before_ they're assigned, and depending on their SP value they could get assigned to one member or another. It's a false equivalence to think 1 SP = 1 fixed amount of time, so e.g. if 5 SP translate to 5 days for Alice, they might translate to 30 days or *Infinify* days for Bob because he's a junior dev that simply can't tackle tasks that complex. It's not a perfect system _at all_ IMO, as many teams just appoints a fixed amount of "workable" story points per sprint, while things are way more nuanced. So flatly applying what you've learnt in your "Agile Scrum Master Advanced Proactive Course" might just not cut it, and needs to be adapted. After all, adaptation is the core of the Agile manifesto.
@KnowThings101 A story point refers to how complicated the task is (1 Sp=making a sandwich, 1 million sp= building a nuclear reactor). They are then put to time in sprints (a day) and every sprint has a number of story points that can be completed per day (you can do less if what you do is complex). Imo, agile is a poor methodology for completing tasks as it is the definition of shifting goalposts.
@@ForChiddlers It is not disrespectful to say that a junior can do less than a senior developer. It would be disrespectful to say that the junior can never develop skills to the point of being as good as a senior.
Meetings like this are one of the reasons why I chose to retire early. Until I discovered these videos a short while ago, I’d managed to excise the hell of Jira, Pivitol and unproductive stand-up calls, from my mind.
Jared is the greybeard backend guy they’ve tried to fire 3 times and ended up rehiring at twice the salary each time because he does the work of 5 senior devs and is the only one who understands half the critical paths in the code, including the ones important for compliance. Jared can use the CEOs new trampoline if Jared wants to.
Now THIS is how you listen to customer feedback! Thanks for adding the full versions mate! Love this saga! Can't wait for the next one. Just don't forget to mark your Jira ticket of uploading this video to "Complete".
@@AnthonySistilliwow! A full 5 story points in less than a day after Cindy was let go. Immediate impact! Good lad! Don't let the new PM know you're this fast right off the bat ;)
I’m 100% all of this business jargon was created by people who never worked in any industry, to train people who have never worked in industry, creating a need to train more people in the jargon (they own those companies), which then bogs down the whole system, creating a “need” for more training and certifications. It all works because CEOs and board members rightly love to see a certification and high speed lingo, only to not realize that such conversation is entirely unhelpful. Seriously, why translate a time estimate to some arbitrary value like story points or t-shirt sizes for any reason other than to shun those that didn’t pay to learn them? Even if you can’t talk in time estimates due to differently performing employees, you can just call it easy, medium, hard. Level 1,2,3,etc.. literally any method to describe the difficulty of a task that a common person will understand without weird jargon.
What's even more ironic is that when you take your Agile training, you suddenly realize that all they talk about is how to handle JavaScript projects and the whole training revolves around that. When you mention this, all you get are blank stares.
As a security professional, I often have to tell the Jareds and Cindys that I don't care care about their tickets, sprint, or story points. From my perspective I often need them to fix vulns before any other work continues. Would love to see the developers perspective on how the security process plays out as I do feel guilty telling people to drop everything
As BOTG, stop putting 600 machines into the same ticket. On a similar note, stop listing the same machine 6 different times for each individual vulnerability, in the same ticket. Or, and hear me out here... how about creating a CSV file of all machines subject to an individual vulnerability and attach that to the ticket, so we can just adapt a PS script to push the fix out and not have to spend an hour or so sorting out the systems and their fixes. Obviously, if you already do this for your team, you are a gem amongst security professionals.
The secret is the Jared’s of the world have at least four people like you trying to prioritize around their backlog. Security, Legal, Planning, Compliance, Audit, etc. It is pretty shocking how long it can take to close a gap given how under resourced and outsourced most dev teams at large companies are.
They were so close to giving am actual use for story points i.e to use it for when you have to compare tasks that you dont actually know how long they will take time wise but you know A will take longer than B
These are hysterical. Jared is the perfect character for when us devs don't care and have a f-u money fund. I know its shorts, but Jared really should have got signed paperwork for being a shareholder before doing anything with the website. haha
Hey man, you do great videos! Do you need a voice of another character? He might have a slight (or hard) Russian accent. It's not about money, I just like your videos. I'm a pro with my mic 🙂 as well as a developer.
The reason you dont use days is because developers are terrible at estimating. It also helps stop management saying "you think it will take 14 says, but i think it will be 4 days".
i still remember the first time i was confronted with "story points" ... i never asked what they were, so i decided: 1 = half a day, 3 = until next day's lunch, 5 = 2 days, and so on. So, after years of this bs, i still give points based on that scale, no matter what.
Guys why tf do you want to do your jobs waste some time on making weird story point estimates and making tickets actually work for like 1 hour and have fun everyone knows meetings are where your cam malfunctions and you just mute and play a mobile game while listening
I don’t understand one thing about these videos. You use ai generated voices and that’s fine. But you also use ai generated subtitles and that’s not fine, they’re incorrect like half the time. Simply use the subtitles you wrote yourself as input for the voice ai
Jared is us only if we let our intrusive thoughts win.
Nothing intrusive about it.
HR Management Bulldrama only takes over cuz people dont speak up.
Dont let Jesus take the wheel. ,lmao.
Jared is me; except I'm real and actually do that
Same here, those are no intrusive thoughts, those are reality plain and simple
@@Sky125 im hitting doubt, pretty hard here man.
@@qltGaming no doubts here, exactly what I did in my last job :p I dont stand up for shit
Jared is the senior dev hero everyone needs 😁
Jared is a hybrid of the two TLs in my team.
"we're an AGILE team, there are processes and systems you have to follow"
lol
The MVP one is funny to me cuz I always used it as minimal viable product, so Cindy was like the minimally viable PM
that's actually hilarious
I love how only the word Jira has been misspelled and differently each time lol
Broooo this was so painful to watch 😂😂😢
My old team had a Jared. He said and did whatever he wanted and no one said shit to him because he built a large part of the codebase. Lmao
We can only be Jared if we are the best at what we do.
then assimilate all the inspiration 😛
Jared sounds like a great manager tbh
Ive worked in IT and i adore this. I was so close to becoming a project manager.
I'm so happy I didn't end up corrupting my soul to do this.
Wise move. I was pushed into it after we outsourced our technical staff and it definitely was the wrong career path for me.
For those wondering why Agile teams use "story points" and not "days", it's because they are not a unit of _time_ but a unit of _complexity_
They transate to time when the task is assigned, proportionally to the assignee's velocity.
Tasks are evaluated in terms of story points _before_ they're assigned, and depending on their SP value they could get assigned to one member or another. It's a false equivalence to think 1 SP = 1 fixed amount of time, so e.g. if 5 SP translate to 5 days for Alice, they might translate to 30 days or *Infinify* days for Bob because he's a junior dev that simply can't tackle tasks that complex.
It's not a perfect system _at all_ IMO, as many teams just appoints a fixed amount of "workable" story points per sprint, while things are way more nuanced. So flatly applying what you've learnt in your "Agile Scrum Master Advanced Proactive Course" might just not cut it, and needs to be adapted. After all, adaptation is the core of the Agile manifesto.
I've read a ton of "wordsaladish" books, but even hardcore philosophy can't compete with agile word salad. :D
@KnowThings101 A story point refers to how complicated the task is (1 Sp=making a sandwich, 1 million sp= building a nuclear reactor). They are then put to time in sprints (a day) and every sprint has a number of story points that can be completed per day (you can do less if what you do is complex). Imo, agile is a poor methodology for completing tasks as it is the definition of shifting goalposts.
So it's a way to disrespect juniors... sounds fun to me. So one sp always translates to infinite as soon as you give it to Cindy😂😂😂😂
@@ForChiddlers It is not disrespectful to say that a junior can do less than a senior developer. It would be disrespectful to say that the junior can never develop skills to the point of being as good as a senior.
Nobody was wondering.
I AM Jared.
All Jared leave your Jira tickets below
BYE CINDY 🎉
Meetings like this are one of the reasons why I chose to retire early. Until I discovered these videos a short while ago, I’d managed to excise the hell of Jira, Pivitol and unproductive stand-up calls, from my mind.
Into the jaredverse
Jared is the greybeard backend guy they’ve tried to fire 3 times and ended up rehiring at twice the salary each time because he does the work of 5 senior devs and is the only one who understands half the critical paths in the code, including the ones important for compliance.
Jared can use the CEOs new trampoline if Jared wants to.
Jared is my hero 😂 I love this saga
I guess I already watched everything on Instagram but it nice watching it again all at once
I took Jared's role.
I mock the HR whenever given the chance, as well as the PMs
Get to work and twork
Jared !!! 😂😂😂. Waiting for season 2 🙏🙏🙏
Epiccc!! Getting "The IT Crowd" Chills :P
Videos like this make me even more glad I switched from being a programmer to theatre tech.
The significant paycut was worth it for my sanity
Jared is fighting the good fight.
Now THIS is how you listen to customer feedback! Thanks for adding the full versions mate! Love this saga! Can't wait for the next one.
Just don't forget to mark your Jira ticket of uploading this video to "Complete".
It was 5 story points so I'll wait a couple of days before marking it as complete ;)
@@AnthonySistilliwow! A full 5 story points in less than a day after Cindy was let go. Immediate impact!
Good lad! Don't let the new PM know you're this fast right off the bat ;)
I've been Jared once, highlight of my professional life, even a decade later 😂
tell us more and give more ideas for more episodes !
I’m 100% all of this business jargon was created by people who never worked in any industry, to train people who have never worked in industry, creating a need to train more people in the jargon (they own those companies), which then bogs down the whole system, creating a “need” for more training and certifications. It all works because CEOs and board members rightly love to see a certification and high speed lingo, only to not realize that such conversation is entirely unhelpful. Seriously, why translate a time estimate to some arbitrary value like story points or t-shirt sizes for any reason other than to shun those that didn’t pay to learn them? Even if you can’t talk in time estimates due to differently performing employees, you can just call it easy, medium, hard. Level 1,2,3,etc.. literally any method to describe the difficulty of a task that a common person will understand without weird jargon.
What's even more ironic is that when you take your Agile training, you suddenly realize that all they talk about is how to handle JavaScript projects and the whole training revolves around that. When you mention this, all you get are blank stares.
I love the attention to detail. PMs truly have no comphension of time zones.
You need to let jared speak up instead of telling him, now is not the time. Unleash the Jared within you.
12:09 jared was super smart to become a shareholder. Especially doing all that work. Poor anthony needs a piece too.
As a security professional, I often have to tell the Jareds and Cindys that I don't care care about their tickets, sprint, or story points. From my perspective I often need them to fix vulns before any other work continues. Would love to see the developers perspective on how the security process plays out as I do feel guilty telling people to drop everything
As BOTG, stop putting 600 machines into the same ticket. On a similar note, stop listing the same machine 6 different times for each individual vulnerability, in the same ticket.
Or, and hear me out here... how about creating a CSV file of all machines subject to an individual vulnerability and attach that to the ticket, so we can just adapt a PS script to push the fix out and not have to spend an hour or so sorting out the systems and their fixes.
Obviously, if you already do this for your team, you are a gem amongst security professionals.
To be fair to the Jareds, they don't care about any of that, either.
The secret is the Jared’s of the world have at least four people like you trying to prioritize around their backlog. Security, Legal, Planning, Compliance, Audit, etc. It is pretty shocking how long it can take to close a gap given how under resourced and outsourced most dev teams at large companies are.
I used to work with a Jared, he was brilliant to work with
Jared is my spirit animal.
Nothing has been worse for productivity than the invention of Agile.
This stuff is golden😂😂😂😂😂
Yup i need grumpy jared asmr 😂
I like Jared and want someone like him at work, cool guy and i think, as junior developer, can learn much from him.
pure gold!!!!
That end of season 1 cliffhanger!
Someone please make this into a show
Well you can watch the movie Office Space and you'll get something close to it.😂
Jared is my new role model. In my head only, but still.
I love that Cindy has this annoying voice and is always sooo upbeat 😂 grrr
Getting kinda dangerous with these headphones on. Jared sounds like asmr 😂
They were so close to giving am actual use for story points i.e to use it for when you have to compare tasks that you dont actually know how long they will take time wise but you know A will take longer than B
These are hysterical. Jared is the perfect character for when us devs don't care and have a f-u money fund. I know its shorts, but Jared really should have got signed paperwork for being a shareholder before doing anything with the website. haha
I need a Jira ticket to understand hard hard this hits.
i just love these
ChatGPT therapist sounds depressing af, but if you're broke, give it a go i guess 😂
11:48 dude always wakes up and chooses verbal violence, but this he chose verbal nuclear warfare 😂
Hey man, you do great videos!
Do you need a voice of another character? He might have a slight (or hard) Russian accent.
It's not about money, I just like your videos.
I'm a pro with my mic 🙂 as well as a developer.
He's using ai generated voices
@@jakubgrzybek6181 oh, I thought they were real :D
Hey, I'd volunteer too !
2:22 i would just be making a comment being like,"dang, why yall kick out cuz craig like that then?"
The reason you dont use days is because developers are terrible at estimating. It also helps stop management saying "you think it will take 14 says, but i think it will be 4 days".
i still remember the first time i was confronted with "story points" ... i never asked what they were, so i decided: 1 = half a day, 3 = until next day's lunch, 5 = 2 days, and so on.
So, after years of this bs, i still give points based on that scale, no matter what.
i love this shit so much
Anthony, where did you get the inspiration for these shorts? I can't stop thinking in Jared's voice during work meetings.
Love Jared
Jared became invincible
I don’t work in tech. Is this how it is? Hahah
Now you know why people in tech have high salaries.
well... if you're lucky.
Yes and no depends on the how bad that company's corporate stupidity.
But this hits close to home for some utter morons in management.
Jared is my spirit animal 🦁
You laugh But Cry.
Jared is a beast man 😂
You dont NEED to use open AI for internal AI models. I've made tons of models in Python, and I dont even have a ML degree
But that'd be only 3 story points ...
Fun fact
I hate giving fun facts about myself.
Another fun fact I despise pointless meetings
I hate pointless buzzwords
this is gold
Jared is my dawg
I love Jared❤❤❤
I'm invested
how many shares ? enough for a seat on the board ?
Would be epic if you can do something with sys admin day :)
Whats your spirit animal?
Jared
Jared is the man
"this WEEKS sprint" 😆
weeks come and go... fast...
I love jared, maybe because I'm him
Wonder how many sorry points this took to create?
Were there regular sprint reviews and retrospectives for this?
Loved it
Im that jared but I speak with my microphone mute😂
4:54 im confused thought she started talking in dinosaur 😂
I have a PM who is literally Cindy.
i feel sad for cindy
Jared is the Gilfoyl, the only legend.
The office but in tech
I just created jira ticket to watch this video. But I need one more to like it😂
Jared gives Gilfoyle vibes.
Guys why tf do you want to do your jobs waste some time on making weird story point estimates and making tickets actually work for like 1 hour and have fun everyone knows meetings are where your cam malfunctions and you just mute and play a mobile game while listening
Accurate AF. In fact imma head into all hands meeting and play some candy crush lmao
can you imagine? it takes 30 minutes everyday just to make everything pretty on jira board and time sheet
Jared is kinda my dad lmfao
For some reason Jared reminds me of GLaDOS. Just human male version
Gold!
Got an estimate when season two drops?
Jared!!!!
Watched the whole vedio and still don't know what the hell "Jira" is.
How do you do all the voices ? Is it a text-to-speech ?
why are the subtitles messed up
Shut up and let jared cook.
Okay, but why call it "story points" instead of "difficulty"?
Cindy likes to yap
Where does Jared's voice come from?
from out there
great
These shorts hit home hard, the exact reason why I created my own web agency and tripled my income in the progress.
My fun fact is that I hate icebreakers.
Lmao
I don’t understand one thing about these videos. You use ai generated voices and that’s fine. But you also use ai generated subtitles and that’s not fine, they’re incorrect like half the time. Simply use the subtitles you wrote yourself as input for the voice ai
14 story points is not in the fibonacci sequence JARED do we have to talk to HR AGAIN?
Jared is my spirit animal