"Your Marines appear to be mentally ill." Every Marine with even a hint of self-awareness: if the Corps wanted you to have sanity, it would have issued you some.
Given that you need to be at least _slightly_ insane in order to voluntarily sign up for the Hell that is boot camp and Basic, much less a minimum 4-6 year service contract where you may very well be sent out to meet lots of people with a vested interest in canceling your subscription to Life, it's safer to say that the Marine Corps' psych evals test for a useable range of functional insanity. The little Goldilocks Zone between _too sane to want to do this job_ and _serious liability._
That and the wife/girlfriend that you were also not issued. If we had issued you a wife/girlfriend we would have been required to also issue that ration of sanity, which Congress declined to include in this year's Navy Department budget.
I've served on a base with Marines, suffer is the wrong term. They seem to truly enjoy their mental disorders, especially the effect those disorders have on others around them.
As an Aussie I did some war games in northen Australia with yanks , they were a bit put out with the150 page booklet we gave then on flora and fauna , the bitey things , stinging things , plants that will make you want to not live , jelly fish that you wont even feel sting you but leave you most likely dead in 30 minutes. The thing that got me was they just had to have ice cream and only American ice cream from their battle ship at Darwin . As far as I could see we both seem to suffer the same mental disorders .
Sounds like a larger scale version of the Siege Weapon Olympics, held every year by my high school's medieval history class. It was a hell of a way to get kids interested in history! Technically my team and I figured out how to yeet a small car across the football field, but we weren't allowed to build on a large enough scale. We still won on both accuracy and range with pies though! 😉
"...Our observers did encounter one unit who only spoke the following, 'OORAH!' "Semper Fi!" and "DAMN! Who ate all the crayons?!? I'm hungry!' That group worried us. A lot."
@@Karmasu_L and wtfe you do... _do not_ try to parse hearing "FOR THE EMPEROR!!!" From a member of a well-known democratic species... Just. Fucking. Run.
The strategy is as it always was. "Well, F It.", "if I go down, how many of you can I take with me?", "Kill count always matters. Yep, even in objective based games. The enemy cannot defend an objective if the enemy was obliterated.", "If we can't have it, nobody can.", "Is this a big enough shotgun?", "How big of a boom can be made?", "Desperation is dangerous, that's why we've honed our skill for fighting desperate battles.", "Even stalling you here is victory later." In short, the strategy has always been, "I ain't tryin' to be a hero, sir, I'm just tryin' to kill some bugs!"
Which, mind, even the POV guy noted was because of how much autonomy and the sheer size of the library of established and proven to work doctrine we have to pick and choose from to fit a given situation. In short, give broad orders to the subordinates and let them figure out the details, providing detailed ones only when needed.
I can picture the higher up saying: " Don't make me send in the Humans!" If two species start making a fuss. We essentially become the galactic babysitters or that guy with a rolled up news paper telling them :" No! Bad xeno."
I see the humans didnt have the heart to inform the aliens that the computer simulation battles prior to full wargames were faught by children who thought they were playing the latest Battlefield game.
@@Kakarot64. I actually thought the author would make some 'Ender's Game' reference. Would not have been a bad ending as well, but I have to admit, I love how the story actually ended quite a lot more, because it made me laugh.
In the Army, an officer is responsible for "strategy and tactics". In the Marines an officer is responsible for "strategy", his Marines are responsible for "tactics", for the most part. Marines in the combat environment, are problem solvers, don't be their problem. You want to win a war, call the Army but, if you absolutely, positively, want something destroyed, call the Marines.
Soviet documents captured from North Korean officers in the Korean War advised to avoid contact with US Marines, as they would "mob you with violence." Dad, who served in Korea 51 - 52, infantry, said, "Yep. Sounds about right."
@@carlfromtheoc1788 one of my deployments in the Gulf one of the translators told me that USMC means "Big Penis Murder Demon" in his language... I still love that one
And that's considering that us marines are actually pretty stable compared to some countries. We still have countries who believe the easiest way to overwhelm an enemy is to just bring more people than they bring bullets.
At least you know full fact the Galaxy would be completely safe with humans in the Intergalactic Community. Let humanity reverse engineering some of the fleet, rebuild, repurpose solely for war, and nothing will stand before them.
I just imagin an officer heading to a military engeneer with the task of making test weapons. Engeneer:" How do i simulate 500 GT cluster ammunation?" Meanwhile the Deathbeam technicans:*confused screaching* Elsewhere a mech pilot sadly powers down his 50ft Anihalator bot And a poor Quatermaster has to explain to a whole batalion that they will get their monomolecular bayonetts and claymores back after the exercise one soldier at a time.
“We will re-issue the chain swords by serial number after the exercise has been completed, please keep your receipts on hand to ensure the transfer proceeds efficiently.”
Battlefield ref rules the officer killed by enemy fire. Human observer mutters under his breath: you done f-uped now A Aron. Alien observer: what? Human observer: they removed the governor from the War Machine.
Better pray that they don’t shoot at doc, then…. War games or not, geography in that area is about to change, and the Xenos are about to start writing a new Geneva Convention…
@@jgkitarel and you better be praying to whatever deity you believe in that the humans do not go Warhammer 40K on your butt, and declare exterminatus against your race. All because you took a pot shot at doc… In a TRAINING simulation…
I dunno why but my headcanon for the ground troops is a beady-eyed West Point student put in charge of a bunch of young rowdy marines fresh out of SOI, all itching to live their Starship Troopers fantasies, with the grizzled Gunny sitting in a beach chair watching at this glorified airsoft-milsim game like a bored babysitter screaming "AY DON'T GET HURT AND DON'T BE TOO MEAN WITH THE NEIGHBOR'S KIDS"
The Alien Military observer would just think if we Humans are fearless or insane to sent those to a war exercize with only the equivalent of a grumpy nanny caring for them.
A small technical point. West Point is the Army’s military academy, and would not be placed in charge of the Marines. Annapolis is the Naval Academy. Cadets there can choose to become Navy or Marine officers. But your point about the Gunny is spot on. 👍🏼😉
"Apparently all command level officers are required to show proficiency in diplomacy & they train on this frequently." To quote Major General Carl von Clausewitz, "War is the continuation of policy with other means." That quote right there says a lot about humanity, when you think about it...
Ah, them, also nicknamed "Sophisticavemen". *Grunt with a powdered wig comes and in a very posh accent says:* "Ugh... Grug make fire! Grug have big dakka! Grug... Wants to go to Valhalla!"
@@vicroc4it's far more sensible than half the aliens I deal with on Stellaris. Either they want to pick a fight with me playing as Humanity, or they pick a fight with each other so I can grab up the scraps for.... "security"
@@Darqshadow You'd expect species who have a unified government to not behave like humanity in real life, but unfortunately Stellaris doesn't account for that. XD
@vicroc4 honestly some of their decisions make even the lowliest of petty warlords look smart, then there's some who somehow pulls a 4D chest move out of whatever counts as an ass and makes me go "huh, that's new" Doesn't matter when I have two or three Battleship heavy fleets though, especially with the MACs and Particle Lances
They must have been terrified wen learning that not just the big guns weren't used, but that a small fraction made only of students from a military academy so easily defeated a third of their forces whitout breaking a sweat
Jemurray79, forgot to add the part where the Seabees stole a support craft requisitioned all the alien alcohol and made it back to the surface without being detected.
gotta admit, i had stepped away from HFY for awhile, but i was thrown on seeing you in the flesh upon returning. not in a negative way, just not what i was expecting, but now ive got a few months worth of content to listen to, so thank you for that, agro
Ay, same! I do a few months on, a few months off and listen to some stories on audible and whatever else I can scrounge up. I wad astonished to see a face to the voice. Like, this guy has one of those?? And has a dope beard????
Smart. I personally believe the proper way to address the problem is to beat said butter bar about the head and shoulders until said butter bar stops being stupid.
@@machstormer I lucked the fuck out with somehow getting 2nd LT in my land nav, one of the few AF security forces guys to have a rangers tab. He also hated being treated as an officer but loved the pay.
The Avro Vulcan was one of the most beautiful war planes Britain ever fielded but it was only ever used in anger once, Operation Black Buck in 1982 to attack Argentine positions on the Falkland Islands. In fact the entire Falklands conflict is one worth looking at to see just what the British will do when someone tries taking liberties with our territory.
It's sad to hear about the genocide from the alien races during the meeting but it's also reassuring that just that one war has at least unified all races in preventing such action to happen at least for the time being. I do find it odd that the alien race responsible for the genocide is still part of the council but I'm sure they must have gotten some kind of punishment.
It was probably a long time ago and the heavy sanctions have been relaxed. But not forgotten. As for setting the representative next to the seat of honor. It is for their eternal shame. They will never be allowed to forget. Similar to the Germans not being allowed to forget the Holocaust.
i'm still trying to refind one story with a simulated battle used to solve a debate/act as a stand in for a war. the alein race coungred from there mind a monster that was a natrual predor of there speashies while the humans summoned an image of death it's self. once the fight was over and the simulation was turned off the image of death was still standing where it was.
I realy enjoyed the story about the Human girl that befriended a giant insect. And made the Enemy’s suffer the Human NICK NAMES. LIKE BITEY .. and BUBBLES. Great tails. Lol
when i was in the army in uk non commissioned officers received diplomatic training as well not toff level grass roots level in line to the people we interacted with
I LOVE THESE STORIES!! I just found this channel and it's Great! The stories like some of the old science fiction stories from the 1920s and 30s. Thank you to everyone who writes the stories and especially the Narrator!! ❤❤
Be careful human. These stories will become addictive, especially the series, like - The New Species & The Nature of Predators, which is over a 100 episodes.
In contrast to the other guy, I suggest listening to the completed multi video stories first, and only listen to them when they either reach over 100 vids, or finish. There's so much backlog on here man, and all of it is fantastic.
A previous comment was about how the officer was “killed”. He then turned to the alien observer, and said: “now you’ve gone and done it! You’ve removed the governor on the marine engine.” I commented the exact same thing: “better hope they didn’t shoot at doc. Doesn’t matter if it’s a training exercise, geography is about to change, and the Xenos are about to start drafting a new Geneva convention.”
Oh God! Not ROTC! If they didn’t beat ROTC, what about actual cadets? ROTC sullies the name of the military… For clarification, sure, I make fun of ROTC. That being said, I still respect them for trying to abide by a series of rules when they don’t have to. It’s honorable that they attempt to at such a young age. I have no mercy for anybody over 18 who cannot abide by simple rules.
oh the trebuchet thing is a real thing done. it was gone by the top gear team who used a trebuchet to throw a citreon car which flew for bloody miles and demolished a small house accidentally. You can even find it as a short on you tube
"General, Admiral. Assessment." 'Sir, after a few years of viewing all species capabilities. We agree that we could defeat all of them with our Cadets in command. Figuratively speaking, we could wear blindfolds, legs tied together and one arm secured to our backs' "Sold, let's do that."
These stories have become my new 'guilty pleasure.' I love them and I love the orator - the BEST orator in the whole fecking world! Indeed! The whole fecking Milky Way! End. Of. Story.
Imagine you're an alien soldier that spent years in the academy and your just minding your own business, when all the sudden a freaking car comes flying out of nowhere and annotates your scwad. He just flips everyone off and is like, "Nope. I'm going home. I'm not dealing with this." Solder! Where are you going!? Sir, they just threw a car at me. A. LITERALL. CAR.!!!! I don't even know where they got it!
Hehehe I love this narrator. He’s soo into it . Really cool. I’ve been missing my DUNGEON LIFE. trying to get The harbour to Intergrate with the Dungeon life story’s and. The elf etc lol Really enjoyed this stuff tho. Excellent. Thanks old chap
God, this story made me laugh so many times. And the part with the stealth ship completely cracked me up. 'Your super duper secret hightech stealth ship? Oh... I can see it, Sir!'
This cat could make a comfortable living in book narration. Wish I could narrate a book this well. My niece and nephew can attest to my poor reading voice...lol!
I find this interesting... Pretty much the reverse of why we are scared of alien life... Pretty much saying that we are the most powerful thing in the galaxy...
@ 10:55, it's not entirely improvisation. It is a LOT of planning and training to develop battle drills for any conceivable contingency in a given scenario. Improvisation IS something we're good at, though.
Oh, the first chrome "observer" ship'd be first one to be hit though, giving itself up so clearly and having observing instruments, they'd probably leak data to any and all invasions. Good job bringing these posts to audio :)
I was half expecting a legitimate invasion (from another faction) to occur during the evaluation while most of the human's weapons were nurfed, and for humans to improvise their way to victory.
I could imagine cadets would be better at space combat anyway.... since older people can never defeat young people in computer games.... it is a simple observation which had cleverly been applied in the movie Enders Game..... I am 51 years old, have been a computer gamer since i was a teenager,,, and i can guarantee i did not get better at gaming with age and wisdom.... It is strange because i really do not feel the slide of competence in every day life, but it is very apparent in gaming!
Agro, I mean no insult by this, but can we please have the fish back? Even for just some of the videos? Having you onscreen makes me feel like I have to watch, and I like to put your stories on when I went to bed. For the algorithm!
Thank you for the dono it us much appreciated. Unfortunately the changes were mage after a lot of consideration and we wont be going back to the fish unless something serious happens.
Youre like my favorite youtuber. In school we would read along with audiobooks that typically had great voiceovers on vhs and you remind me of that, but in a cooler way bc science fiction is the best
I like the idea that the one time genocide happened it was basically what we did with Germany. "With enough reparations we can be friends but this will never be forgotten and importantly - Never. Again".
"Your Marines appear to be mentally ill."
Every Marine with even a hint of self-awareness: if the Corps wanted you to have sanity, it would have issued you some.
Given that you need to be at least _slightly_ insane in order to voluntarily sign up for the Hell that is boot camp and Basic, much less a minimum 4-6 year service contract where you may very well be sent out to meet lots of people with a vested interest in canceling your subscription to Life, it's safer to say that the Marine Corps' psych evals test for a useable range of functional insanity. The little Goldilocks Zone between _too sane to want to do this job_ and _serious liability._
That and the wife/girlfriend that you were also not issued. If we had issued you a wife/girlfriend we would have been required to also issue that ration of sanity, which Congress declined to include in this year's Navy Department budget.
If the Corps wanted their people to be self-aware and have common since they would have sent them to the air force... LOL
We do not die (without orders) we just fall back into hell and regroup.
Marines aren’t not issued common sense. They’re just not ordered to use it!
"Marines ... seem to suffer from several mental disorders."
I don't think I have ever heard anything more accurate.
If the Corps wanted them to have sanity, they'd have been issued it ;)
The Army and Navy are the U.S. military forces,
The Air Force is a corporation,
The Marines are a cult.
I wish like hell I could attribute that quote.
I've served on a base with Marines, suffer is the wrong term. They seem to truly enjoy their mental disorders, especially the effect those disorders have on others around them.
What can you expect from a being that survives on nicotine, caffeine, and hate?
As an Aussie I did some war games in northen Australia with yanks , they were a bit put out with the150 page booklet we gave then on flora and fauna , the bitey things , stinging things , plants that will make you want to not live , jelly fish that you wont even feel sting you but leave you most likely dead in 30 minutes. The thing that got me was they just had to have ice cream and only American ice cream from their battle ship at Darwin . As far as I could see we both seem to suffer the same mental disorders .
Humans: "This isn't even out final form!"
Xenos: "...What?"
Humans: "...Sorry, cultural reference."
I'm not actually left handed.
@@leechowning2712 I just wanted to give you a chance to live
You've got me surrounded, surrender at once!
@@Vhailor_Mithras I would, because now the humans can attack in every direction...
@@Furzkampfbomberrelease the gas
Proceeds to fart silently killing the aliens without firing a single round
He he ... Bored kids built a catapult and yeeted a car at the enemy ... Yup, sounds human!
That is an SCP
Sounds like a larger scale version of the Siege Weapon Olympics, held every year by my high school's medieval history class. It was a hell of a way to get kids interested in history!
Technically my team and I figured out how to yeet a small car across the football field, but we weren't allowed to build on a large enough scale. We still won on both accuracy and range with pies though! 😉
Trebuchet not a catapult
I was fortunate enough to pull the trigger on a piano trebuchet. Glorious!!! And it definitely got the cars I was aiming at. :-)
More accurately rednecks
"...Our observers did encounter one unit who only spoke the following, 'OORAH!' "Semper Fi!" and "DAMN! Who ate all the crayons?!? I'm hungry!' That group worried us. A lot."
The are the ones still in the padded cells rocking forwards and backwards crying please make them stop
"You don't need to worry about them. If you hear a unit only communicate with "doki-doki" and "kawaii" however, then you should be very careful."
@@Karmasu_L and wtfe you do... _do not_ try to parse hearing "FOR THE EMPEROR!!!" From a member of a well-known democratic species...
Just.
Fucking.
Run.
@@Karmasu_Lnaw that’s when you run as fast as you can….or at least faster then the being you came here with
Just to give you a word of warning, if the marines start growling don't bother running you won't get far.
"It seems they have made a tactic out of improvisation"
AKA: The enemy can't discern our strategy if we don't know what it is.
Strategy? I’ll let you know what it is once I’ve figured it out myself
Xeno: "THAT MADE NO SENSE!"
Human: "Did we win?"
Xeno: "Well yes, but that's not the point!"
Human: "(after a contemplative pause) It kinda is, tho."
The strategy is as it always was. "Well, F It.", "if I go down, how many of you can I take with me?", "Kill count always matters. Yep, even in objective based games. The enemy cannot defend an objective if the enemy was obliterated.", "If we can't have it, nobody can.", "Is this a big enough shotgun?", "How big of a boom can be made?", "Desperation is dangerous, that's why we've honed our skill for fighting desperate battles.", "Even stalling you here is victory later."
In short, the strategy has always been, "I ain't tryin' to be a hero, sir, I'm just tryin' to kill some bugs!"
Ah yes, humanity: chaos doctrine
Which, mind, even the POV guy noted was because of how much autonomy and the sheer size of the library of established and proven to work doctrine we have to pick and choose from to fit a given situation. In short, give broad orders to the subordinates and let them figure out the details, providing detailed ones only when needed.
I can picture the higher up saying: " Don't make me send in the Humans!" If two species start making a fuss. We essentially become the galactic babysitters or that guy with a rolled up news paper telling them :" No! Bad xeno."
Little do the xenos know that newspaper is hiding a live grenade 😂
some thing invades from out side the galaxy and the higher up's apologize
Brother get the Flamer... the Heavy Flamer
@@alliesofcallofduty Grabbe die Flammengewerfer
@@Allantitanlive grenade not needed. A lead pipe now? Okay.
I can see why the human representative was trying not to laugh, when the most veteran officers of an alien species were beaten by youngsters
I see the humans didnt have the heart to inform the aliens that the computer simulation battles prior to full wargames were faught by children who thought they were playing the latest Battlefield game.
@@Kakarot64. I actually thought the author would make some 'Ender's Game' reference. Would not have been a bad ending as well, but I have to admit, I love how the story actually ended quite a lot more, because it made me laugh.
In the Army, an officer is responsible for "strategy and tactics". In the Marines an officer is responsible for "strategy", his Marines are responsible for "tactics", for the most part. Marines in the combat environment, are problem solvers, don't be their problem. You want to win a war, call the Army but, if you absolutely, positively, want something destroyed, call the Marines.
Spoken like a true 🖍️ eater..
@@grogvaughan5649 You're just jealous, because we get all the Crayons. The Bluberry Blue ones are best. ☺
Soviet documents captured from North Korean officers in the Korean War advised to avoid contact with US Marines, as they would "mob you with violence." Dad, who served in Korea 51 - 52, infantry, said, "Yep. Sounds about right."
@@kirkjones9639 yeah, maybe, depending on what MRE is available you're probably right!! Lmmfao
@@carlfromtheoc1788 one of my deployments in the Gulf one of the translators told me that USMC means "Big Penis Murder Demon" in his language... I still love that one
The fact that their military advisors needed counseling from just hanging out with Marines should have told you everything you need to know.
For real.
And that's considering that us marines are actually pretty stable compared to some countries. We still have countries who believe the easiest way to overwhelm an enemy is to just bring more people than they bring bullets.
@@leechowning2712Thats the Chinese for sure
@@rodrigoandorinha9259 actually that is straight up just Russia's military strategy as a whole
What’s not to love about the Devil Dogs? Unless you’re the enemy of course
This is peak humanity and honestly sounds like a normal Saturday evening to them
All it’s missing is some cases of alcohol and pizza/other food that goes good with alcohol
For you’re species it was a defining day of your lives.. for us.. it was tuesday
@@ComradeCommissarYuriNice reference.
At least you know full fact the Galaxy would be completely safe with humans in the Intergalactic Community. Let humanity reverse engineering some of the fleet, rebuild, repurpose solely for war, and nothing will stand before them.
@@haskellyoung3121 can you tell me where the reference was from?
The last couple of sentences can be translates as "We really really want them on OUR Side."
Said like someone who wants to keep on living
Humans:😂 after aliens tell them war game time it is a training exercise. Human thinking:finally we get to fight someone other than our selfs.
"Than", not "Then"
This pizza bigger *THAN* the other one.
I ate the bigger pizza, *THEN* I ate the other one.
@@AlexSDU wow so many Grammer nazi's on TH-cam.
Every soldier, marine, sailor, pilot, etc... Murder boner ENGAGED!!!
@@AlexSDU And the English Nazi have arrived. And have nothing, of note to contribute to the conversation.
Just to find out that your kids could beet them 😅
I just imagin an officer heading to a military engeneer with the task of making test weapons.
Engeneer:" How do i simulate 500 GT cluster ammunation?"
Meanwhile the Deathbeam technicans:*confused screaching*
Elsewhere a mech pilot sadly powers down his 50ft Anihalator bot
And a poor Quatermaster has to explain to a whole batalion that they will get their monomolecular bayonetts and claymores back after the exercise one soldier at a time.
This is the best visualization
“We will re-issue the chain swords by serial number after the exercise has been completed, please keep your receipts on hand to ensure the transfer proceeds efficiently.”
@@somerandom3257You do realize that by saying that, the Quartermaster is ensuring that at least half of said receipts will be lost.
Absolute peak just the saddest military base
A third of the entire galactic military versus a small training class of students sounds about right
Battlefield ref rules the officer killed by enemy fire.
Human observer mutters under his breath: you done f-uped now A Aron.
Alien observer: what?
Human observer: they removed the governor from the War Machine.
Yup. Essentially the inmates are now running the asylum 😅.
Better pray that they don’t shoot at doc, then…. War games or not, geography in that area is about to change, and the Xenos are about to start writing a new Geneva Convention…
@@judahschultz In the unholy mix of their own blood, viscera, and tears.
@@jgkitarel and you better be praying to whatever deity you believe in that the humans do not go Warhammer 40K on your butt, and declare exterminatus against your race.
All because you took a pot shot at doc…
In a TRAINING simulation…
I dunno why but my headcanon for the ground troops is a beady-eyed West Point student put in charge of a bunch of young rowdy marines fresh out of SOI, all itching to live their Starship Troopers fantasies, with the grizzled Gunny sitting in a beach chair watching at this glorified airsoft-milsim game like a bored babysitter screaming "AY DON'T GET HURT AND DON'T BE TOO MEAN WITH THE NEIGHBOR'S KIDS"
The Alien Military observer would just think if we Humans are fearless or insane to sent those to a war exercize with only the equivalent of a grumpy nanny caring for them.
A small technical point. West Point is the Army’s military academy, and would not be placed in charge of the Marines. Annapolis is the Naval Academy. Cadets there can choose to become Navy or Marine officers. But your point about the Gunny is spot on. 👍🏼😉
"Apparently all command level officers are required to show proficiency in diplomacy & they train on this frequently."
To quote Major General Carl von Clausewitz, "War is the continuation of policy with other means." That quote right there says a lot about humanity, when you think about it...
Like the metallica song "Sad but true"
"Those cadets would then go on to becoming one of the first mixed space/terrestrial combat units, naming themselves 'The Crazy Apes.'"
Ah, them, also nicknamed "Sophisticavemen".
*Grunt with a powdered wig comes and in a very posh accent says:*
"Ugh... Grug make fire! Grug have big dakka! Grug...
Wants to go to Valhalla!"
A pretty good Galactic Community compared to other Galactic Communities.
Too true, every other xeno community really wanted to take the fast lane to extinction when picking a fight with humans.
Far more sensible than a great many of the ones you see on HFY
@@vicroc4it's far more sensible than half the aliens I deal with on Stellaris. Either they want to pick a fight with me playing as Humanity, or they pick a fight with each other so I can grab up the scraps for.... "security"
@@Darqshadow You'd expect species who have a unified government to not behave like humanity in real life, but unfortunately Stellaris doesn't account for that. XD
@vicroc4 honestly some of their decisions make even the lowliest of petty warlords look smart, then there's some who somehow pulls a 4D chest move out of whatever counts as an ass and makes me go "huh, that's new"
Doesn't matter when I have two or three Battleship heavy fleets though, especially with the MACs and Particle Lances
They must have been terrified wen learning that not just the big guns weren't used, but that a small fraction made only of students from a military academy so easily defeated a third of their forces whitout breaking a sweat
I love how you find and read stories of human superiority and empathy. I am a fan.
It is HFY after all.
@@snake57 i am glad it went to HFY from 'humans are space orcs' so much easier.
This is seems to be the more realistic , we just do the shit we want and make it work
We will send in our undetectable stealth ship
Hey guys, whats that out the window
Polished chrome... the thing was visible from Earth. Seriously.
I'm proud of those students. They did humanity proud.
Love these stories where aliens realize how crazy the human species is 🤣
Jemurray79, forgot to add the part where the Seabees stole a support craft requisitioned all the alien alcohol and made it back to the surface without being detected.
gotta admit, i had stepped away from HFY for awhile, but i was thrown on seeing you in the flesh upon returning. not in a negative way, just not what i was expecting, but now ive got a few months worth of content to listen to, so thank you for that, agro
welcome back
Ay, same! I do a few months on, a few months off and listen to some stories on audible and whatever else I can scrounge up. I wad astonished to see a face to the voice. Like, this guy has one of those?? And has a dope beard????
Welcome back :)
Really brought this story to life. Nice to hear the story in my ears instead of just in my head. Thanks.
Didn't expect the "kids" remark to be literal, good story though.
*Marine gaggle fuck sacrificing crayons to the ghost of Chesty puller*
Xeno's: the fuck they doing?
Ah, i see they got to experience Grunts and Crafts
Still never going to trust a butter bar in landnav
Smart. I personally believe the proper way to address the problem is to beat said butter bar about the head and shoulders until said butter bar stops being stupid.
A former Sergeant I knew said, when dealing with "butter bars", he sometimes needed to use a" Mark 2X4 Clue Stick "
@@machstormer I lucked the fuck out with somehow getting 2nd LT in my land nav, one of the few AF security forces guys to have a rangers tab. He also hated being treated as an officer but loved the pay.
Got partnered up with an lt on land nav once. He avoided touching the map and compass like the plague
@@barryward2128 Probably because he knew how big a danger he was.
Good job midshipmen!
Good job voice actor.
Good job author.
May the algorithm be pleased!
The Avro Vulcan was one of the most beautiful war planes Britain ever fielded but it was only ever used in anger once, Operation Black Buck in 1982 to attack Argentine positions on the Falkland Islands. In fact the entire Falklands conflict is one worth looking at to see just what the British will do when someone tries taking liberties with our territory.
Ahh…the barbarian pirate kingdom now a wholly owned American province 🎉
I can't even begin to imagine how xenos would react if they heard the roaring sounds of an Avro Vulcan. o_o
"...shooting quickly starts." Makes pew-pew gestures with his hands.
i loved this story
of course they were it was a training exercise after all
also love the end line
thanks for the story and narration
It's sad to hear about the genocide from the alien races during the meeting but it's also reassuring that just that one war has at least unified all races in preventing such action to happen at least for the time being. I do find it odd that the alien race responsible for the genocide is still part of the council but I'm sure they must have gotten some kind of punishment.
SITTING NEXT TO THE SEAT OF HONOR WOULD BE A DAILY REMINDER
It was probably a long time ago and the heavy sanctions have been relaxed. But not forgotten.
As for setting the representative next to the seat of honor. It is for their eternal shame. They will never be allowed to forget.
Similar to the Germans not being allowed to forget the Holocaust.
i'm still trying to refind one story with a simulated battle used to solve a debate/act as a stand in for a war. the alein race coungred from there mind a monster that was a natrual predor of there speashies while the humans summoned an image of death it's self. once the fight was over and the simulation was turned off the image of death was still standing where it was.
Summing the reaper is what I can find
@@frazzlebond6175 i do believe this is it thanks
A tulpa, when enough humans put believe something it takes on a form of reality.
That is the single most smartest alien in any of these stories. Didn’t even have to learn the hard way
Yup....I could see that coming ( cadets), but it was just as sweet. Brought a great grin of pride to this old man. Well done.
The way I've heard it, an officer is just there to keep the grunts from finding new ways to commit war crimes
Why did the ending of this story make me laugh so much. Admit them immediately and let's try not to piss them off
MOAR DAKKA!! This is how you kill a fleet. Shoot it full of holes until it cant shoot back.
great story. Here is a like and comment to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.
I could easily imagine a sci fi storytelling like this on BBC, good fun man
Sounds like that read about when the USA send a group of cadets to a war game again China special forces and the USA won completely
I realy enjoyed the story about the Human girl that befriended a giant insect. And made the Enemy’s suffer the Human NICK NAMES. LIKE BITEY .. and BUBBLES. Great tails. Lol
Human child: “FLUFFY!!!!!!!!”
when i was in the army in uk non commissioned officers received diplomatic training as well not toff level grass roots level in line to the people we interacted with
I LOVE THESE STORIES!! I just found this channel and it's Great! The stories like some of the old science fiction stories from the 1920s and 30s. Thank you to everyone who writes the stories and especially the Narrator!! ❤❤
Be careful human. These stories will become addictive, especially the series, like - The New Species & The Nature of Predators, which is over a 100 episodes.
In contrast to the other guy, I suggest listening to the completed multi video stories first, and only listen to them when they either reach over 100 vids, or finish. There's so much backlog on here man, and all of it is fantastic.
this is literally the scene from the owl house when the school fights a chunk of the emperors coven, but HFY
WOW! I finally have a face to associate with the voice of this amazing channel.
We finally get to see "THE AGRO SQUIRREL"!
Wrong chat
Did they hurt the marine's corpseman if so thus this isnt training exercise anymore 😂
A previous comment was about how the officer was “killed”. He then turned to the alien observer, and said: “now you’ve gone and done it! You’ve removed the governor on the marine engine.” I commented the exact same thing: “better hope they didn’t shoot at doc. Doesn’t matter if it’s a training exercise, geography is about to change, and the Xenos are about to start drafting a new Geneva convention.”
Human Commander: This was so not worth my time we made you fight ROTC.....
Oh God! Not ROTC! If they didn’t beat ROTC, what about actual cadets? ROTC sullies the name of the military…
For clarification, sure, I make fun of ROTC. That being said, I still respect them for trying to abide by a series of rules when they don’t have to. It’s honorable that they attempt to at such a young age. I have no mercy for anybody over 18 who cannot abide by simple rules.
This one was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh
ROLF!!! They were just kids at play... I Love it...
I LOVE the way you say "End of story". I really enjoy your narrations.
oh the trebuchet thing is a real thing done. it was gone by the top gear team who used a trebuchet to throw a citreon car which flew for bloody miles and demolished a small house accidentally.
You can even find it as a short on you tube
"General, Admiral. Assessment."
'Sir, after a few years of viewing all species capabilities. We agree that we could defeat all of them with our Cadets in command. Figuratively speaking, we could wear blindfolds, legs tied together and one arm secured to our backs'
"Sold, let's do that."
ah the good stuff, yeah shame really, good thing he kept quiet of the REALLY good stuff.
These stories have become my new 'guilty pleasure.' I love them and I love the orator - the BEST orator in the whole fecking world! Indeed! The whole fecking Milky Way! End. Of. Story.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Welp....
He's right about the ground troops...
Don't let us get bored...
Imagine you're an alien soldier that spent years in the academy and your just minding your own business, when all the sudden a freaking car comes flying out of nowhere and annotates your scwad.
He just flips everyone off and is like, "Nope. I'm going home. I'm not dealing with this."
Solder! Where are you going!?
Sir, they just threw a car at me. A. LITERALL. CAR.!!!! I don't even know where they got it!
Hehehe I love this narrator. He’s soo into it . Really cool. I’ve been missing my DUNGEON LIFE. trying to get The harbour to Intergrate with the Dungeon life story’s and. The elf etc lol
Really enjoyed this stuff tho. Excellent. Thanks old chap
The Aliens just didn't know the secret to subduing Marines, just toss crayons at them ! and attack when they start eating them. lol
Great story and great narration as ever!
God, this story made me laugh so many times. And the part with the stealth ship completely cracked me up.
'Your super duper secret hightech stealth ship? Oh... I can see it, Sir!'
Someone should show them the movies Taps and Tank.
This cat could make a comfortable living in book narration.
Wish I could narrate a book this well.
My niece and nephew can attest to my poor reading voice...lol!
I find this interesting... Pretty much the reverse of why we are scared of alien life... Pretty much saying that we are the most powerful thing in the galaxy...
@ 10:55, it's not entirely improvisation. It is a LOT of planning and training to develop battle drills for any conceivable contingency in a given scenario. Improvisation IS something we're good at, though.
Hey you've been doing very well in the last couple weeks, and I just wanted to say thank you!
LETS GO TREBUCHET
The alien craft was most likely a phallic shape, thus the smirks
*Curb* *Curb* *Stomp* Loved both the story and the narration. Excellent job!
So when do we (humans) get to play the attacking team?
Oh, the first chrome "observer" ship'd be first one to be hit though, giving itself up so clearly and having observing instruments, they'd probably leak data to any and all invasions.
Good job bringing these posts to audio :)
Thank you. I'm having one of those day when I seriously need to beat the hell out of someone or something and this made me laugh.
Loved the bit about the trebuchet xD
Rule 1 a bord marine is a danger
Rule 2 a bord marine is a danger
Rule 3 a bord marine is a danger to everything around
You like Tim Curry in Red Alert 3.......perfect
That's a flex witn in a flex.
"We used the basics, with only half trained young reckless officers in charge"
Greetings, Mentlegent!
For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
At first I thought the officers were LITERAL children, but this also works.
i really like the new format with you in the frame!
your videos continue to be awesome!
I was half expecting a legitimate invasion (from another faction) to occur during the evaluation while most of the human's weapons were nurfed, and for humans to improvise their way to victory.
I could imagine cadets would be better at space combat anyway.... since older people can never defeat young people in computer games.... it is a simple observation which had cleverly been applied in the movie Enders Game.....
I am 51 years old, have been a computer gamer since i was a teenager,,, and i can guarantee i did not get better at gaming with age and wisdom.... It is strange because i really do not feel the slide of competence in every day life, but it is very apparent in gaming!
I love listening to your videos in my car on my drive to work...that clicking in the background had me scared.
The End made me laugh out loud. I really love your stories.
Doesn't everyone have a trebuchet in the backyard???
One of my favourite short tales, this one :D
Very much enjoying these stories. Great work.
Your facial expression changes and your hand movements just put the icing on the cake! Love it.
Agro, I mean no insult by this, but can we please have the fish back? Even for just some of the videos? Having you onscreen makes me feel like I have to watch, and I like to put your stories on when I went to bed. For the algorithm!
Thank you for the dono it us much appreciated. Unfortunately the changes were mage after a lot of consideration and we wont be going back to the fish unless something serious happens.
@Agro Squirrel Narrates understandable, thank you for the clarification. Keep up the good work!
I LOVE THE ENDING....
This is one of my favorite stories.
Bro when he said it’s a training exercise I started laughing so hard 😂😂😂
I ❤the emotion you put into your reading of the stories. Most are just reading in a monotone voice. Some comment that it is an AI doing the reading.
i love story's like this
😘
Youre like my favorite youtuber. In school we would read along with audiobooks that typically had great voiceovers on vhs and you remind me of that, but in a cooler way bc science fiction is the best
I like the idea that the one time genocide happened it was basically what we did with Germany. "With enough reparations we can be friends but this will never be forgotten and importantly - Never. Again".