I Got This Comment Today
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ต.ค. 2024
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There's an ugly kind of comment that I often get under my TH-cam videos. They usually come at night. They're from people who believe that most or all other people are bad. Here's my take on what that means.
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The most mature, educated, conscious, yet delicate response I've ever heard, to a person who's clearly been hurt by others and may not realize what signals they're sending with their comment. This clip spoke volumes on just how knowledgeable, aware, & respectful you are. This really just made me love you even more for this.
In my mid 50s and have been bullied and misunderstood all my life even by complete strangers sometimes. The ugliness of CPTSD invites negativity from other people. It's a very hard road and I've moved now from desperate to be accepted and liked to indifference which at least is less painful. I completely understand that if i wasn't damaged in childhood my life would have been different and other people wouldn't see me the way they do. I can't blame others for how I'm perceived - they are just reacting to my persona. It's quite freeing to stop trying and just let them..let them misjudge..let them not bother to try and get to know who I am beneath my coping mechanisms. It's just life and it will smash you if you keep trying to think others should change to accommodate you, because they won't. I just spend my time trying to improve me and that's all I can do.
Same age and situation. You nailed it
Same age and could’ve have been me writing this. ❤
I finally was able to see my own cycle of blame and resentment was destroying relationships with flawed but decent human beings. I realized that I had severely damaged boundaries from childhood trauma. Only by giving up the blame/resentment cycle, communicating my own wants and needs (the lack of which was also due to trauma) and by employing boundaries, is how I started to be able to sustain connection. I sought out groups of people who are learning to do the same thing, and connection and love happened for me. Blame/resentment/cyncism create a story that helps keep you "safe," but isolated.
Yes. You've described it perfectly.
Beautifully said!!
You wrote what I was thinking and have been going through..I lived in resentment for over 4 decades, and my negative worldview started to change once I started to look in the mirror and started a healing journey from decades of trauma..
@momarsha ❤
Ditto. Working on getting out of magical thinking and into reality. Making amends to my family. The connection between CPTSD and brain regulation was an absolute game changer. I can tell I am healing.
This describes me. I’ve ended up resenting most people I’ve been close to. I’ve been around a few people that stamped all over my boundaries even when I shouted them. But the other people that I didn’t tell they’d crossed them I just pulled away. It’s a very vicious cycle. Good to hear you’re helping from it. I guess knowing what’s happened is a good start.
Thanks for taking the time to respond to this person. It helps all of us. ❤
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you so much. You’re an amazing teacher.
Anna thanks so much for your content. I have spent the past few years being very insular and folding in onto myself. With your help, I have become more open and recently made good friends who care and check up on me, who I support and feel supported by. I feel like a real person in the world again. There are good people out there. I’m glad I took the time to heal and now I am ready to live practically vs theoretically. I feel on my way to a fuller life.
Oh, what wonderful news! Thank you for sharing your progress with me. This helps everyone to really know that healing is possible!
Great comment
I love you for your kindness and understanding ❤. I’m a case manager and mentioned your channel today to a family member of a client. I hope and pray for all people in this type of situation to see your channel ❤.
Thank you so much!
Misanthropes are those of us who expect more from humanity as a whole, and are disappointed over and over.
We do have the power to encourage the good in people and in ourselves. It’s a mindset and it is a skill. Both can be fostered with Crappy Childhood Fairy’s daily practice (free) and her other resources (paid and free, like her videos).
My sense is that the evils of the world are more visible to all of us at the moment. The evils, like profiteering from wars and other anti-life practices, seems to be fighting hard at the moment. I have trust because underneath everything going on at the surface I see that there are so many bringing up good life-affirming ways of living in this world, like this channel is doing. Knowing more about the bad, I become less and less disappointed. It helps me to choose to focus on what is truly good.
The awfulness of humanity goes so much deeper than any particular human’s resentment or self satisfaction that is for sure!
Ngl I feel this way sometimes. In the past 100 years, about 200 million people were murdered. Am I wrong to feel disappointed, uneasy? I try to put it out of my mind.
I feel so blessed that despite my crappy childhood being abandoned by one parent and verbally & emotionally abused by the remaining rage-driven parent, I have managed to maintain a sweet nature (mostly), not descending into resentment and misanthropy. Even into adulthood I kept giving my deadbeat father chance after chance to be a dad until he went too far and I cut all ties.
I’ve never had a completely healthy intimate relationship with a man but I’ve stayed positive towards men, I just chose to be solo.
get Anna's book, Re-regulated! We all need this knowledge.
Just got your new book this week, and I'm ready to dive in! You make a lot of sense to me. I have more problems with family members than strangers. A quick exchange with people in public is often initiated by me with goodwill. Dealing with family members has baggage & certain expectations that always undoes me.
We hope you find the book helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Facing fear and resentment, I was missing the resentment part. I've been stuck in resentment. I've been making a lot of progress this week, thank you again ❤
Although recognizing and embracing the goodness in others can be so, very challenging at times, I truly believe it is worth the effort.
We all possess the capacity to acknowledge both our own faults and those of others, while simultanously holding space for acceptance, forgiveness, kindness, support, and love. This can absolutely be achieved while still maintaining healthy boundaries.
Very so thank you❤
I’m glad that I never went to the everyone is awful stage. I definitely think I had resentments, but they were one side of my family focused. I was blessed by my Dad’s side and feeling loved by them, it never felt enough, because most of my time was with my Mum’s side. I also worked with people with disabilities, so that I was living in my empathy and not my anger. I still work with vulnerable people 38yrs in these role’s, which always shows me, that my life is pretty good especially when I continue to go to therapy and work on myself. I live a very basic life now in the bush living off grid, I earn much less and have less, but it feels like I have more. Apart from the grief of losing my soulmate and the loneliness I feel at times. I know I will keep having to work at my life and happiness within a life of CPTSD. My Dog reminds me of how much I’m loved, and my Grand Niece’s and Grand Nephew.
Thank you lovely CCFairy ~ great to see you doing 'shorts' on youtube .. & thank you for this helpful question & your answer.. I also find the comments helpful 🙏😘💕
Typically, when I feel like that I 1) have not fully understood the situation and people around me or 2) I have not fully addressed making my own needs a priority. Perhaps it’s a bit naive, but I like to believe in people, even the ones I walk away from.
Ouch. That’s me. I’m glad you mentioned it so that I can work on it. I notice that I gravitate to like minded people.
The daily practice is seriously so helpful. I had no idea how much fear and resentment fueled my daily choices and how simple it would be to be to calm my mind. Thank you Anna
Wonderful!
💯 true. I see folks now with more compassion now that i see the toxicity all around me. They are broken and have been beat-down. Some people are predators, though, so be careful. I'll show you compassion until i realize you've flipped to predator mode.
Ooo. Good response. I feel the way they do sometimes. I'll look at fears & resentments realistically. Thanks.
Thank you, Anna. Obviously, this person has been significantly disappointed buy one or more people in their life. That's very sad. I hope he believes you.
Thank you for your hard work and dedication.
Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thanks for the great response. I know some people who are deeply resentful and it's exhausting to be around them...
Your channel brings clarity and real hope. Thank you for putting all of this effort into making these videos.
I struggle with this ❤ thank you
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
To be honest, that person is still correct. Most people are very messed up.
I can appreciate your kindness and compassion, but I just don't have the energy or the time to spend being kind to literally everyone else who is just absolutely terrible.
I'd rather just avoid them entirely to maintain my own peace than be the doormat that they use to feel better and never appreciate.
I understand, twin. Protect your energy.
I swear these comments got me crying
Misanthropy, I first heard this word in secondary school when I read wuthering heights.
Touché- thanks for sharing this very skilled and caring response, turning an ick into a powerful teaching moment. :) 🙏💚😊
The Daily Practice is essential mental and emotional hygiene for me!
Miss Anna you put so much good into this world 💖 I've been working on my own healing but I've also been able to see that my family needs healing too, and I've been trying to encourage them. They say that it's been helping them as well~ Thank you for sharing your wisdom cause I think everyone on this planet can benefit from it. 😊
Thank you for your work
This was a heartfelt video, very kind and spot on ❤
You are the bright and shiny part of my day
bless you Anna you are doing great work and making the world a little bit better every day
Thank you for your kind words! -Frida@TeamFairy
Lean into it. Embrace the suck. I’d say that’s the first step. When you accept the majority of people suck, you can start to really appreciate the people that don’t.
We all have good and sucky aspects to us. There are very few 100% sucky people. People are so multidimensional. Just have to get to know them a little bit better and learn to relate.
@Rob_132 It’s not that simple. You’re just going to the opposite extreme of bias. The truth is that you’re both right. Almost everyone sucks, and almost everyone has redeeming qualities. That’s what is real. Both optimism and pessimism are false.
@@Rob_132 yeah, maybe a way to narrow it would be in relation to the observer a person may suck and you would need to distance yourself from them. There are also people that are good in relation to the observer and those people should be appreciated and embraced.
People aren’t static. We all grow and change. My point was we are all sucky sometimes and in certain situations but other times and/or in different situations we can be great. And most of the time we are somewhere in the middle. Also, projection is a real thing too. We are not really very different from one another.
@@Rob_132 I see what you are saying. But I do believe people are very different. There are people that I know their composition very well and wish I never let into my life. There are also people I have only met once that I would never want in my life. Maybe that seems awful to judge someone that quickly,
My mom is 90+ . Warm, funny, successful, whip-smart, many longtime good friends. She has also been 'queen of the cynics' for as long as I can remember regarding society at large, academia, pundits, committees, government, and us as as a species. It's crazy how she seems to predict outcomes. She nails it every time! Her commentary is biting but also funny, and oh so accurate. As a kid I used to marvel at her 'crystal ball' capabilities, even regarding an individual's behaviour. She told me, "If you understand human nature, you can pretty much call the play." And yes, I regard cynicism as a synonim for realism, which is why, imo, so many are uncomfortable with it.
Y received my book yesterday ❤ I love it 🥰
Hope you like it!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I love it 🥰 💜🙏
Thankyou, I used to feel like that but work in AA and with other survivor's helps and made me hope again. Trying to get certified as a Peer Support Counselor. If I can change just about anyone can. It didn't take religion necessarily, some of is in AA call God, Group Of Drunks. Altruism is our motive
You're one of the few therapist that doesn't trigger me
Oh I love this so much!!! ❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍
What a fantastic explanation.
Very clear, thank you!
I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
❤love your content ! The 20 min meditation ( I can make 20 mins per day happen!) changed my life in great ways. Thank you, CCF😊. 🎉🎉
We're so happy to hear that :) -Calista@TeamFairy
really sweet and thoughtful video. i deal with resentment myself. i try to take on my own causes, and do stuff for reasons i believe in, it generally gets me more positive interactions and viewing healthier content.
I felt the same way until I started my recovery work two years ago. That’s because we were brought up by crap and kept meeting crap and so on…Also, there are a lot of people out there who act crappy! In doing this work and my spiritual practice I started soon after this, I found that the more we think of as people being “bad” the more bad people we’re going to cross paths with. It sounds hokie but it seems to work out that way for me and a lot of others. We’re always going to run into challenging people who act out bad behavior, right? It’s how we handle it that matters. As long as they’re not threatening our safety or others’, we can take a step back and instead of getting resentful, try to realize that this difficult person in front of us is not being who they truly are. Try having a perspective from awareness. This nasty persona they are putting up is just a facade. There’s something deeper within this person and they just don’t know how to find it. They’re suffering terribly. You don’t have to form an opinion about whether they’re good or bad or “crap.” You can just be an observer, not let it affect you at all, never mind make you hate all people. To make it even more interesting, what if you were actually nice to them while they were carrying on being problematic? If you showed them some kindness, wouldn’t that make the world a better place rather than perpetuating the negative? Even if they didn’t respond fondly to your kindness, you still walk away the peaceful one without having your day ruined, right? There is a deeper dimension with a higher consciousness in every single one of us, we just don’t access it because we can’t find it or refuse to try to. ❤
Beautifully spoken❤
@@marijkevv11 Thank you so much.
Anna. Thank you for keeping your strength in filtering the "stinking thinking" of those who write to you. The good certainly outweighs the bad. It's just not as loud.
P.S. I received your book yesterday 😊!!
Thank you, dear Anna ❤
Wonderful and insightful...thank you
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
It is good
to listen to what you need to express;
is that the direction
you want to grow ?
I love to express,
Love.
I'm not sure I've ever heard misanthropy defined. But your video makes me think of the woman I love. She is rude and disrespectful to everyone but a select few who are friends. Her physical beauty hides the more beautiful woman I want, I wonder if I will really get to know her? It is kinda sad wanting something so bad but not being able to figure out how to get it. I don't need sex from her, I desire her. Thanks for the video, Anna. I hope the sales of the book are going well. And the daily practice is helping.
Thanks for your insights.
Humanity does present us with a lot of self compromising evidence, especially when viewed from a distance.
To recognise that but then to somehow be glad for being here, because there is more to life than what some others are doing, its not always easy.
Some personality types, conbined with circumstance, can struggle to reconcile the yin with the yang.
Meditation might help.
Connect with the deeper self, core consciousness, as a way to escape and counteract, what is otherwise being fed to us.
To become calm, is to find balance.
To let go of resentment, is to fully embrace all that life is offering, including its lessons along the way.
Misanthropy is a necessary introspective consideration.
Seek out and create better connections, to achieve a shift in perspective.
Good luck because the majority of people are "crap" !! 😂😂😂
God showed me that I am truly a humanitarian that loves all humans. Doesnt matter what theyve done or believe. I love all living things and creatures and persons. I love you all so very much and i believe it Gods love through me❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Well put!😂
Wow thank you!
This is why I am a site member. Let's work though this.
George Carlin was very cynical about people. Intelligent people tend to see people as they really are, not all the sugar-coated narratives. The truth-tellers are rarely popular. People love their little stories; illusions make life more bearable for them I guess. That being said, thank you Anna. Your channel has changed my life because I applied what you taught!
We all have a negativity bias. It’s easier to see the negative aspects of ourselves and others. Cynicism is a choice. Never cared that much for Carlin’s choice of humor for that reason.
George was a great Philosopher who understood how to communicate complex ideas to the masses, whom he no doubt saw as those who most need to hear and get what he was saying. Much of which was very much in line with what Bertrand Russell was saying. Russell reached Academics. Carlin reached the People. He was kinda like an all-too-Human Messenger sent down to us from the Ivory Tower. George was a very important figure in Human history. No joke. He knew how to make us laugh while being dead serious about the darker and otherwise confounding aspects of us.
Great Note!
🎼TD
🎼TD, Boston
@@tdesq.2463 I was very fortunate to get to see one of his live shows. Carlin is a GENIUS!!!! So good! Gone too soon!
@@CraftingMom64 That must have been memorable event. Never got to see the Man live. But I can pretty much recite every one of his stage performances word for word. That's an exaggeration, but I'm sure You get my point. When he died, my coworkers were stunned when I showed up
"We thought for sure that you'd be out for at least a week." My inbox had a stack of emails. "I heard the news this morning, and thought of you immediately. Sorry for your loss
You must be devastated." Even my Father called me that morning. I ain't exaggerating. This is an accurate account.
And yes, he was a genius ... Absolutely.
Thx for the note.
🎼T.
@@tdesq.2463I discovered him randomly with his video clip about our attachment to our material stuff, I never laughed so hard in my life
To me, I believe in self fulfilling prophecies and sadly this sounds like one. Great reply CCF!
Thank you.
And remember it’s not your job to be someone’s therapist. Or take on someone else’s trauma. What led to this conditioning in me was a person with a victim story and relentless mistreatment of me. Expecting me to never leave and isolating me from others. Two-faced. Use intuition. Choose your company. ❤
Love this...
Keep facing the fear and resentment. ❤🎉
Belief, Reverence>○○
The problem is every time I try to see the good in people I end up believing in hairy frogs, and it makes me laugh😂
i flit in n out of liking humans.good days i accept we are all light n dark n our moods control our reaction
I just don't like people because they're rude inconsiderate judgemental
No, he's right. For me at least. I really am that screwed up.
The commenter is just correct. The majority of people are crap. Why do you think the world is so messed up.
❤❤❤❤
really awesome
Wholly Amen, Anna ❤
❤️
life is s hard.
"hi kendraa" took me tf out💀💀💀
I'd die ON THE SPOT
Makes sense
💕
How funny, I was thinking of Domestication, inventory taking, assumptions & Socialized Feminism & LOVE how we can feel it & show it in so many iditerations? I'm not buying into the "scarcity of Time" pressure. HELLO, "Tomorrow is promised to No human.". H.o.w. in this world where you can be many things, Be Kind. Love an Elder
❤ real is all ppl flawed. But when ppl choose to be cruel & unkind, deliberately & maliciously, then you must accept they are wicked. Ppl deny & not accept responsibility. Hyperbole by writer? In God I trust.❤💔❤️🩹💗💖❤💛aquaintances many. Friends few but precious.😊❤
Dito @Jamie_SE Miss Anna spoke wisdom along with knowledge and compassion
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